The Captain Swan Mixtape
by EmilyBea
Summary: A series of CS one shots inspired by varying songs. Fic ratings will vary based on the muses.
1. What You Don't Do

**A/N: fluffy little fic inspired by the song "What You Don't Do" by Llanne La havas.**

"Do you ever wish that I did things like that, Emma?" Killian asked her as they sat cuddled together on the couch watching the final moments of the newest red-box rom com. On the screen the hero had stopped traffic in the middle of Manhattan and stood on the roof of his car to declare his love for the girl.

"Because I would. I feel on the verge of such displays more than I likely should, Swan."

"As fun as it would be to watch you a, try to drive a car through downtown New York, and b climb onto the roof without slipping, no I don't want that." She snuggled down closer into her staked out spot, right against his chest.

"Too embarrassing for you, love?" His smile turned up to one side as the two intertwined their fingers. His jesting tone brought a smile to her eyes too.

"More like too cheesy. This movie isn't us." She looked up at his eyes, which though still amused held that hint of question that made the depths of their blue shine just a little brighter. To head him off from responding she stole a quick kiss and as he made to fully engage she pulled back a bit breathless. Still close to his face she continued.

"What we have is real. I see your love for me in everything that you do and in who we are together. We've gone through hell and back and every time, at every step you are what I want and what I need. There's no need for grand gestures. You don't need to show it, I already know that you love me in every realm in any time."

The shine from his curiosity melted into the warmth of love before heating into desire. He pulled her closer, and showed her exactly how much he loved her. There was no audience and no predictable script, because their life was anything but predictable. But there were all the promises and all the meaning that every person who longs for romance dreams of. In his kiss there was professions of love and a needed reminder that he was here and he was hers, just as she was his.

When he pulled away this time, her clear want for more brought forth his cocky grin and the twinkle in his eyes once more.

"Still think I don't need to show you, love?"

"Nope. You proved me wrong. Show me again." She pulled his head back down to her and tried to move things faster. With a quick and fluid motion though, she found herself in his arms and carried off into their bedroom.

...

 _I know what I got and I know where we're going_

 _You don't need to show it, I already know it all._

 _It's what you don't do, it's what you don't say_

 _I know you love me I don't need proof._

 _It's what you don't do, the games you don't play_

 _I know you love me, I don't need proof._


	2. River of Tears

**A/N: Short one shot written after finding out Rumple had betrayed everyone (again) at the end of 5A. I dream of Belle and Emma and Killian all being friends (because Belle needs people other than Rumple, dear god). Inspired by the song "River of Tears" by Alessia Cara.**

When she finally found out the extent of the treachery, the depths of the darkness, Belle shattered. She let herself break into what felt like a million pieces. The man she loved, the life she'd dreamed for them was gone, forever. Maybe none of it had been real for him, but for her, in her heart, she knew that she had loved him, or loved what he could have been.

After a few days of mourning though, the people of Storybrooke came forward to try and help her pick herself up and move forward. But without her love, and with the new knowledge that love and hope wasn't always enough, she found herself a bit resentful. All of these people had the answers they claimed, but they weren't even truly her friends. She felt horribly and completely alone.

Of everyone in the quaint (if problematic) town, only Killian's sympathy felt like it could actually help. Maybe it was the fact that no one else really knew the evil in Rumple's heart like Killian, but more likely it was his approach in the face of heartache. He'd sent over a book from the library aptly called "Forget Him and Find Wine." Sure he'd scribbled a note insisting that rum was actually the best choice, but it had made her smile and for a moment she'd remembered what life could feel like with friends by your side.

As time passed, Killian and Emma made an effort to include Belle in their invitations and she became an extended member of their larger family. Belle found the real and true togetherness she'd dreamed of for so long.

Eventually, after an acceptable amount of time and after adequate chocolate and cocktails had been consumed, the people of Storybrooke decided that no one deserved her second chance at love more than Belle French. A peculiar girl now much beloved, Belle was indeed a beauty and a brain, and the town went on a hunt to find someone worthy of her.

Emma drew up a plan of action. She and Henry brainstormed every fairy tale character they could think of. All of them must have an Enchanted Forest or Storybrooke counterpart, right? So the list was compiled but really, who was left at this point? Belle deserved a hero, one who would chose good and love and her. Did they know of anyone like that?

They needn't have gone to the trouble though, because one man, a relative newcomer to their little town in Maine, had already set his sights on Belle. Liam Jones, newly saved from the Underworld, had grown quite fond of Ms. French. Now, if only he could get his head out of his ass long enough to form coherent words and ask her to dinner.

In the end it was neither the orchestration of her new friends, or the bravery of Liam that secured them that first date though. It was Granny, so sick of the brimming tension who finally demanded that the two "love sick kids get their crap together already." So they did. And the river of tears that Belle had cried, the one that she had been sure would drown her, was a distant memory of a life she deserved better than.


	3. The Way You Look Tonight

**A/N: Sort one shot of Killian adapting to this world while living with Emma (post-Underworld). Inspired by 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Frank Sinatra.**

There's parts of our world that he loves, things that Emma never would have guessed of a three-hundred year-old pirate. Like how he's problematically fond of the movie theater and the popcorn that can be found there. It's not very often that he doesn't willingly share with her, but the look of begrudging on his face when she asks for a handful of the overly salted kernels makes her laugh in its absurdity.

Or his newfound appreciation for murder mystery novels. When things at the station (oh who are we kidding, when things with the always-present forces for evil) are a bit slower, he busies himself in the pages of the books that Belle supplies. He used to ask what certain things were for almost every page, but he's picked up more about the land without magic from those paperback pages than real-life experience has granted. When she asked him why he enjoyed them so much, he told her that

Perhaps the most adorable thing to Emma is his adoration for Frank Sinatra. Of all the music in the world, of the thousands of songs she showed him on her Spotify it had to be Frank. The soulful crooning called the now land-bound pilot, and Emma has to admit, she's heard worse things than the timber of his voice singing along to the classic songs.

At first Henry teased Killian but over the past few weeks, Emma's noticed that the instinct to jest has transformed. Now Henry knows the words to the old standards too and sometimes graces them to his steadily deepening voice. She won't bring it up, but she also noticed the iTunes purchase he made of Sinatra's greatest hits. And the number of plays each song has received.

Killian's favorite of late has been "The Way You Look Tonight." He claims Frank 'simply understands what a man feels when he's in love.' He swears up and down that the song puts into words what he feels he can't say well enough though she argues his words mean all the more. When life allows him to (and even a bit more often than that) he sweeps her into his arms to dance with her. He sings low and sweet into her ear as they dance cheek to cheek and in those moments she has her happy place.

It's become such a fixture of her happiness that in their darkest hours, against their strongest foes, the simple humming of the first few bars can ease her mind enough to bring clarity. Whenever she's doubting or restless – whenever she feels her hope begin to fade – she plays the song in her head and remembers everything she has to fight for. And on nights like tonight, which are few and far between, when things get too hectic for them to hold each other as they fall asleep she sings to herself to fall asleep in an attempt to be close to him.

 _Some day, when I'm awfully low_

 _When the world is cold_

 _I will feel a glow just thinking of you_

 _And the way you look tonight._

 _Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm_

 _And your cheeks so soft_

 _There is nothing for me but to love you_

 _And the way you look tonight._

 _With each word your tenderness grows_

 _Tearin' my fear apart_

 _And that laugh…wrinkles your nose_

 _Touches my foolish heart._

 _Lovely… never, never change_

 _Keep that breathless charm_

 _Won't you please arrange it? Cause I love you_

 _Just the way you look tonight._


	4. I'm Yours

_**A/N: Emma finds Killian in the Underworld and he won't let Emma split her heart to save him. The dialogue largely inspired by the song "I'm Yours" by Alessia Cara. Written prior to season 5B.**_

"Emma I can't go back. There's no going back. You shouldn't have come." He was standing there telling her no. After everything, the battles they'd faced, the terrors from all of their pasts and demons no one could have imagined, he was telling her no. And somehow the only thing she could think to do was smile. It took everything in her not to laugh at how ridiculous this was. Of course she tracked him through the strange distortion of Storybrooke for him to challenge her. He wouldn't be the man she loved if he didn't.

"Give us a minute." Emma turned back to her family and though they were all surprised by the look on her face, they heeded her wishes, stepping out of the small building in which they had found him.

"You've got some nerve," she said looking at him with mirth in her eyes. He didn't expect it, it was throwing him off center and she watched as he shifted his weight, unsure how to proceed.

"Oh have I, love? I'm not the one who formed a coalition of people I love to save a pirate. What the hell were you thinking, Emma?"

"No, you're the idiot who came charging into my life, broke down my walls, gave me a taste of what it meant to no longer be lonely and then died. No, sorry, _sacrificed_ yourself for me - for all of us. And you thought I was just going to let you stay in some purgatory for all eternity?!" She couldn't stop herself from yelling, and knew that the others outside could likely hear her but she didn't care.

"It's the way it has to be Emma. I'd do it again, to protect you. But protecting you came with a cost and the cost is that I need to stay."

"When has anything we've faced ever been that simple, Killian? Seriously, when have the good guys not won? When have we ever been truly backed into a corner when we had each other? We're not giving up now."

"I started a villain, Emma. All I've done hasn't made up for that." Emma shook her head as Killian looked away from her.

"I met your brother." That got his attention back, but he kept his eyes guarded.

"So he's here then?"

"Yeah. Charming guy, I can see that runs in the family. But you know what he told me?" She could tell that he did but wouldn't ask so she told him. "He said that you started as a good man, an honorable man. Despite horrible circumstances you remained good. Yeah, you strayed from that. You did bad things, I get that. I'm not going into this blind, you have a past and so do I. We're more than our past. We could have a future together."

"You will have a lovely future, Swan. But it can't include me." She slapped him. Not overly hard or anything but he was clearly surprised at the outburst.

"Killian Jones you made me love you, now I'm making you come home." His eyes flashed with emotion. There was the man he loved, brimming beneath the hardened exterior. She saw him and she would never let go.

"You'll move on, Emma. You'll find someone else."

"You're so full of shit! I don't want anyone else, ever. How else do I have to tell you that? You're it for me. The only man I trust enough to love fully. I'm not moving on. You will not make me. Now let's go." She tugged at his hand but he still resisted.

"Emma, I can't let you give up half of your heart, love. I can't take the risk of losing you." His tone now was desperate and she knew he was fighting for her safety and though touching, it was still stupid and she wouldn't allow it. She pulled him down by the collar, crushing his lips in a passionate kiss. A kiss she'd been waiting for and dreaming of for weeks. If only he wasn't such a strong headed fool and would follow her lead this one time they could be home doing more than this. She pulled back and forced him to look at her.

"I already lost you. Don't you get that? I've been in Storybrooke falling apart, knowing that my heart was crushed, was gone. I had Henry and my parents but I needed _you_. I will always need you. And I'm not scared of this not working because this is true love." She traced along his jaw with her fingers and watched him struggling to understand.

"But-" She put her finger to his lips.

"You're going to tell me that True Love's Kiss hasn't worked for us. I know, I'm not an idiot. But it will. I promise you I have never been more certain of anything in my life. And when it does, we can go home. We can have the happy ending. I'm willing to fight for it everyday but I need you by my side. Please, Killian, fight with me." She watched his face for any sign that he was willing and then he was kissing her again and she moaned into his mouth, opening to him.

They stayed like that, kissing and trying to remind each other what it felt like to really be alive but they were running out of time. This would have to wait. They had to get home, and they had a heart to split before doing so.

"Okay, Swan. Tell me what you need me to do."

…

 _Some nerve you have_

 _To break up my lonely_

 _And you tell me you want me_

 _How dare you march into my heart_

 _Oh how rude of you_

 _To ruin my miserable_

 _And tell me I'm beautiful_

 _Cause I wasn't looking for love no_

 _Nobody asked you to get me attached to you_

 _In fact you tricked me_

 _And I wasn't trying to fall in love but boy you pushed me_

 _So all that I'm asking_

 _Is that you handle me with caution_

 _Cause I don't give myself often_

 _But I guess I'll try today_

 _Cause I've had my heart_

 _Broken before_

 _And I promised I would never let me hurt anymore_

 _But I tore down my walls_

 _And opened my doors_

 _And made room for one_

 _So baby I'm yours_

 _Oh baby I'm yours_

 _Oh baby I'm yours_

 _Oh baby I'm yours_

 _I'm mad at you_

 _For being so cute_

 _And changing my mind_

 _And altering my rude_

 _What's wrong with you_

 _You make me sick for being so perfect_

 _What did I do_

 _What can I do_

 _And I wasn't trying_

 _To melt this heart of iron_

 _But the way you hold me makes the old me pass away  
And I would be lying  
If I said I wasn't scared to fall again  
But if you promise me you'll catch me  
Then it's okay_

 _Cause I've had my heart  
Broken before  
And I promised I would never let me hurt anymore  
But I tore down my walls  
And opened my doors  
And made room for one  
So baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
But I tore down my walls  
And opened my doors  
And made room for one  
So baby I'm yours_

 _Oh I hate that I  
Spend my days just wasting time day dreaming til I see you again  
I'm not used to this  
Oh I used to be so used to boys just using me  
For you to be you to me  
Feels new to me  
Cause I usually cheer for the bad side  
Love under a bad sign  
So it makes me mad I'm  
Falling again  
Falling again_

 _But I tore down my walls  
And opened my doors  
And made room for one  
So baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours  
But I tore down my walls  
And opened my doors  
And made room for one  
So baby I'm yours  
Oh baby I'm yours_


	5. Remedy

_**Emma wakes up from a nightmare in which Killian is still in the underworld. She has PTSD from one part of their travels where she had to face her own personal hell. When she wakes though, Killian is there and is the best source of comfort. Inspired by Adele's "Remedy."**_

 _ **Rated M for smut smut smut post some minimal angst.**_

…

" _We should have never followed you." Her mother spat at her with nothing but loathing and resentment._

" _Mom, stop, please!" Emma felt the tears stinging at her eyes and her chest felt likely to cave in._

" _Everything you've done has been for yourself. You love being the savior, love being the martyr. Meanwhile we get caught in the crossfire." Henry's eyes looked dead and completely emotionally devoid. Emma tried to reach for him but he pulled back._

" _Henry please, you have to know that's not true. It's this place, it's making you say that."_

" _No ones making me do anything, Emma. Not anymore! Now that I'm free of you." The use of her first name was a slap in the face and now the tears were there, streaming uncontrollably._

" _You sacrificed this family for a man who never loved you. He was a pirate and nothing more." Emma felt rage building in her at Regina's words._

" _Shut up, Regina that is not true. Killian loves me!" Emma watched as the woman put her arm around Henry and gave her this disdainful look like she was nothing more than a common cockroach._

" _Maybe he did, but he's dead so it doesn't matter anyways." The words gripped at Emma like a vice and made the small bit of strength she'd been clinging to crumble._

" _You're no longer in this family. We don't want you." With those words Emma watched the four of them vanish and then she was alone, completely alone in the dark of one the first group homes she'd ever been in._

" _Emma," the faint echo of her name pulled her from the fear and sadness of being so alone. Then it sounded again, stronger this time._

" _Killian?"_

" _Emma love, wake up. Wake up!"_

Emma's eyes flew open and she sat up in her bed, noticing the tangled mess of the sheets and the slick of anxious sweat on her skin. But there beside her was Killian, looking at her with worried eyes as she let out a shaky breath. It was just a dream. They'd all made it back months ago, and they were all a stronger unit because of it. But every once in a while, when stress was high, she'd remember those awful visions courtesy of Hades and find herself in the grips of a nightmare so real it terrified her. Emma hastily moved to embrace him and he readily accepted her, holding her close and tucking her to his chest in that way that always made her feel safe and home.

"The same dream, love?" She nodded and though tears threatened to appear, she swallowed down the impulse.

"I don't know how you managed to be down there for weeks. He had me trapped for a matter of hours and I thought it would tear me apart." The whispered confession prompted his hand to trace along her back in a soothing motion that she needed desperately.

"Real as it seemed love, it was all an illusion. When I thought I might break, I reminded myself that the real you was safe in Storybrooke. I missed you terribly, but at least you were alive. Someday you could be happy."

"Never. I was never going to get past you." He held her a little tighter at the words. Rooting herself in the here and now, she felt the malignancy of the dream wash away and in its stead there was peace. Finally, there was peace. After some time had passed he tilted her head up to look at him.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Emma nodded and then pulled him down for a kiss. The surest way to remove that darkness was to replace it with love and to remind herself that beyond that hell scape, there had been happiness. There still _was_ happiness. He returned the kiss with fervor and her wanting grew prompting her hands to roam across his chest and savor their closeness.

Sensing her need, his hands drew down her body leaving a trail of sensation behind them until they were finally between her legs where Emma wanted them. He was slow, meticulous and with the perfect pressure he made her forget the last lingering fragments of the dream. His measured strokes and had her body warming back up in a way that felt fantastic and raw and so much more real than the dream ever could have. Then he was kissing down away from her lips, across her jaw, down her neck to that spot that got her crazy and she was helpless to the onslaught of pleasure that came with her orgasm.

Before she had even gotten her bearings again, Killian kissed lower down the valley of her breasts, past the flat planes of her stomach until he was between her thighs, causing the same sort of enjoyable shock to her system but with his tongue instead of his fingers. Between the scruff of his beard and the masterful technique of his tongue, she was caving again to her desire and writhed underneath him, bucking her hips to cause more of the delicious friction. She moaned into the feel of him and then when his fingers joined his mouth she built to another fantastic climax.

"You're so good at that," Emma said.

"After all this time that surprises you love?" His teasing pulled at her lips turning them up into a smile.

"No, just praising my hot pirate husband." He kissed her stomach just above her belly button.

"I'll never tire of hearing you call me that."

"What my hot pirate?" she was teasing. She knew what he meant.

"You tease, love, but I know you enjoy it just as much when I call you my wife. You saved me for a reason after all." He was right, she did. And it definitely didn't hurt that when he said it his fingers continued to trail along her thighs, working out some of the tension still there. He was so tender, so giving and the fact that he wanted nothing but to make her happy and make her feel safe only proved a stark reminder of why she was so in love with this man.

Emma pulled him back up to her and tasted herself in his kiss. Her hand trailed down to inside of his briefs and she felt his hard length, taking it in her hand and pumping, delighting in the feel of his desire for her too. Through some skillful maneuvering, she climbed above him, straddling his hips and angling herself above his cock. Just before sliding down though she whispered against his lips.

"You save me every day. You remedy everything in my past. You give me home and I will always find you just like you always find me." The love and hunger in his eyes prompted her to slide lower, filling herself and moving up and down in a rhythm designed to stimulate them both. The groans pulled from his chest and her responding chants of his name filled the room as they both chased their ultimate release. When Emma was close, Killian moved his hand to stroke her clit and watched as she gave over to her orgasm in a breathy sigh. He followed soon after and the two of them held each other as they lay in bed regulating their breathing. Emma turned to Killian and kissed his chest.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now sleep, and when you wake, know that I will be here. I will always be here." And with those comforting words, Emma's breathing steadied and she quickly fell into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

 _I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be_

 _So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe_

 _Right before my eyes I saw, my heart it came to life_

 _This ain't easy, it's not meant to be_

 _Every story has its scars_

 _When the pain cuts you deep_

 _When the night keeps you from sleeping_

 _Just look and you will see_

 _That I will be your remedy_

 _When the world seems so cruel_

 _And your heart makes you feel like a fool_

 _I promise you will see_

 _That I will be, I will be your remedy_

 _No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you_

 _Come whatever, I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through_

 _Your love, it is my truth_

 _And I will always love you_

 _Love you_

 _When the pain cuts you deep_

 _When the night keeps you from sleeping_

 _Just look and you will see_

 _That I will be your remedy_

 _When the world seems so cruel_

 _And your heart makes you feel like a fool_

 _I promise you will see_

 _That I will be, I will be your remedy_

 _When the pain cuts you deep_

 _When the night keeps you from sleeping_

 _Just look and you will see_

 _That I will be your remedy_

 _When the world seems so cruel_

 _And your heart makes you feel like a fool_

 _I promise you will see_

 _That I will be, I will be, I will be…_

 _Your remedy_


	6. Young Love

_**AU where Emma and Killian were high school sweethearts who married right out of college. Killian and Emma have their tenth wedding anniversary party. Ruby chooses this song to play at their party. Inspired by Jesse McCartney's "Young Love."**_

Being here, in the comfort of his arms as the music played around them felt like her first school dance all over again. It was junior year and after a whole life spent moving around for her dad's job as a marine, she had a solid promise that this time was the last time. He'd left the military to start his own business and their new, permanent lives would be in Storybrooke Maine. But Emma was guarded, and afraid to put herself out there in a sea of kids who already had their people. She wanted people too, but she was scared to put herself out there.

Her new friend, Ruby, had convinced her to go to the junior homecoming dance and she'd agreed. She'd feigned reluctance but secretly she'd been filled with butterflies. She'd seen the movies, knew that this was a right of passage and was thrilled to partake. But being so excited wouldn't have been cool, so she hung back, hugging the wall and trying her best to seem unimpressed. Until she'd seen him, smiling at her with that boyish charm across the gymnasium and she'd felt the easy beating of her chest kick up one too many paces.

His name was Killian Jones, and he was without a doubt the kindest (and cutest) boy she'd ever met. And he was looking at her. He'd made his way across the room, asked for 'her hand' in the next dance with that charming accent of his and she'd said yes. Without hesitation, without worry, she'd said yes. It was the start for them, the start of a life filled with its ups and downs but ultimately filled with love. People said that love made you feel like coming home and they were right. Even after all this time, being here, in his arms, always felt like home.

"You look stunning tonight, Swan." The endearment had survived though she'd been Emma Jones for ten years now, and each time she heard it, it still felt perfectly right. She pulled back to look in his eyes and smiled.

"And you look very handsome. So handsome, that I'm tempted to make up some excuse so we can go home and I can show you what this suit does to me." The flash of heat in Killian's eyes made the bright blue even more intense. They didn't often have time to themselves these days, with three kids and both of their careers, but what they had was their own sort of happy ending. As the classic number playing concluded, the hired DJ introduced the next song.

"This next one is for the happy couple from their friend Ruby." Emma and Killian both looked over at Ruby who was sitting happily besides her husband Graham grinning like the cat who'd eaten the canary. Emma wondered what fresh hell was in store for them until the chords actually started and she realized she liked the song.

 _We've been together a minute_

 _Seen couples come and go_

 _When people ask how we did it_

 _I flash a picture of you_

 _Cause looking at you, it still feels like the day I met you_

 _Looking at you, I'm still weak in the knees_

"I feel like we dodged a bullet there, love," Killian joked as he swung Emma around the dance floor surrounded by friends of theirs. But suddenly Emma stopped smiling. She was singing just a bit faster in her head than the music was playing and she remembered the borderline lyrics to come in the chorus.

"Oh, Jesus." Killian looked at her in confusion until her heard the lyrics. Then she felt his hands tighten around her waist and watched his ears grow red.

 _Young love, girl I'm still drooling like a baby_

 _Young love, it feels like I'm seventeen_

 _So what if we're older than we're acting lately_

 _Young love is all that we'll ever be_

 _So hit the lights, crack the wine, baby lock the door_

 _Slipping out of clothes, throw em on the floor_

 _Dirty dancing to a song on the radio_

 _Young love, is all that we'll ever be_

"Hey, I don't know if I like this song!" Hearing her father, David Nolan, yell out onto the floor made Emma simultaneously want to shield her face in embarrassment and laugh out loud. She was in her thirties, but to him she would always be her little girl and to Killian he'd always be the overbearing father-in-law who'd been a marine. Needless to say, Killian knew better than to disrespect the man.

"Just cover your ears, Mr. Nolan, it'll be over soon!" This from Ruby actually made Emma laugh and Killian soon joined her.

"Well if we're in trouble already, Swan, let's see it through." He pulled her closer as they danced through the rest of the song. When it was finally over, Emma pulled him behind her to go and confront their saboteur friend.

"Really, Ruby?" The brunette merely shrugged and pointed to her stomach, which was protruding from her pregnancy.

"What can I say? The baby's got my hormones all over the place and she and I love some awkward tension."

" _He_ ," Graham stressed and Ruby playfully slapped his arm.

"Okay well just try and keep it in check. My dad loves you, but even he has his limits."

"Oh please. I can handle your Dad. Besides, the song was perfect for you guys. Look at you, two. Who likes each other this much years later?"

"True love, that's who." Oh God. Emma turned to see her mother with tears in her eyes looking truly joyous. Mary Margaret Nolan was a magnificent mother and a living example of what being married to your true love looks like, but it would always be kind of weird to have a mother so happy about her daughter's love life.

"Mom, please tell Dad-" her mother waved Emma's words away before continuing.

"Don't you worry about your father. He talks a big game but he's always been happy that you ended up with someone so honorable." Killian scratched behind his ear in that way he always did when embarrassed or bashful. As he did, Emma's father himself approached them and pointedly looked at his son-in-law.

"Killian."

"David." Emma watched as her father tried to conceal his grin, but he failed at the stone-faced look he'd perfected after years in the military. Keeping his eyes on Killian, David proceeded.

"Well, did you give her the gift yet?" Mary Margaret rolled her eyes at her husband before shaking her head at Emma as if to say _'Husbands. When will they learn?'_

"No, I hadn't. But now is as good a time as any." Killian pulled out a white envelope and Emma gladly took it, breaking the seal to see what was within. Inside was the deed to the big yellow house on the Main Street of Storybrooke that she'd fallen in love with that first time she'd seen it. She and Killian had shared their appreciation for it, and had spent hours over the course of their younger days making plans to live there together. It had always been the dream. But now, this piece of paper said it was theirs.

"You bought the house?!" Her eyes flew up to his and she threw her arms around him. "You bought the house!" She felt the low rumble of his laughter through his chest.

"Aye, love I did. I thought we could use a bit more room." Emma's eyes welled up as she thought about her three perfect kids, Henry, Hope and Liam. Then her hand moved to her stomach almost without thought and she decided to tell him.

"The timing's actually kind of perfect." With the realization donning on him, Emma watched his amusement turn to awe.

"You're…?" His eyes were so helpful, that she couldn't keep the happy tears from falling. She pulled his hand to her stomach as well.

"Yeah, I'm pregnant. Ready for number four?" He pulled her close and kissed her despite their audience and it wasn't until she noticed a cheer from around the room that Emma pulled back.

"Think I can fake morning sickness or something?" Emma whispered to him and his eyes flashed with understanding. In the blink of an eye she felt him sweep her into his arms carrying her.

"Everyone, I believe that's the end of the night for us." More cheers ensued, and even David looked less stricken than he might otherwise have. Clearly the news of another grandchild could do that. Emma thought about telling Killian to put her down, but she really, really didn't want him too.

Lucky for them, the hotel in which the party was being hosted was the same one where they had a room for the evening. And so, convinced that their children were being well cared for by their nanny, Anna, and very desirous to enjoy every minute of being alone, Emma and Killian spent the night reaffirming their love with hot (yet loving) sex.

 _ **Post-Note: So this story just kind of happened (as all of the fics in this collection come about). But I hope you guys enjoy all the fluff! I certainly do!**_


	7. Song for You

_**AU where Emma and Killian have been in a relationship for a year and he asks her to move in. She said no and prepares to run, but realizes she doesn't want to– not from him. Too bad her car won't start back up and public transport is down. Of course she chose the night of a horrible blizzard to have this realization.**_

Emma felt like she'd been walking for hours through the deserted streets of Boston on this cold winter's night. The harsh wind blew at her golden hair that a white knit cap was failing to contain and where the cold touched, she felt a sharp pricking at her skin. But she couldn't stop, she needed to get to him. Of course her stupid phone had died as had her car. The snow, now quickly piling up, had shut down the T and the bus lines, but she had to get to him.

Earlier tonight he'd asked her to move in with him and she'd panicked. Things didn't usually go well for her in relationships and for almost a year they had been. Killian had shown Emma everything that love was supposed to be. He was faithful and strong and present, and it certainly didn't hurt that she was painfully attracted to him. But old habits die hard, and in the past when people got too close she always ran. That was her nature, and it was near impossible to fight against. Now she was paying for it as she walked against the harsh winds of what the radio was calling the biggest blizzard of the past twenty years.

 _Just three more blocks. You can do this, Emma._ She pushed forward, trying to busy her mind with what she'd say. How she'd beg him to forgive her, and try to explain that it wasn't about him. It was never about him – she had baggage and she had to be the one to throw it away. But how could she say that in a way that didn't sound like she was playing the victim?

"Excuse me, Miss?" Emma heard the voice from behind her. She turned to find a frantic looking woman who appeared to have faced about as much as this storm as Emma had, which was saying something. "Have you seen a golden retriever anywhere around here? I was walking my dog and the leash broke and she took off after one of those sanding trucks. I've been looking everywhere and I know she's probably g - g – gone." The choked out sob at the end of the statement tore at Emma's heart. She'd never had a dog, but she could only imagine what losing one would be like.

"No I'm sorry. What's her name?"

"Jenna. I know it's a kind of stupid name, but my son watched that movie _Balto_ a few years ago and went through a phase where he thought all girl dog's that lived in houses were named Jenna." Emma smiled at the little anecdote. This made this all the harder, she had a son, a son who was likely worried about his best friend.

"Well I have to head about three more blocks this way, and I can look for her. Here, give me your number and I will call you if I find her, alright?" The woman nodded thankfully and hurried to type in her number though her hands were shaking. Emma patted the woman's arm. "You'll find her."

"Thanks, I'm sorry I didn't catch your name."

"It's Emma. And I didn't catch yours either."

"Elsa." Emma nodded.

"Good luck, Elsa." Then the two women parted ways. As she walked the rest of the way to Killian's apartment, she called out Jenna's name but heard no response except the dull moan of the wind through the concrete forest of Boston. Emma didn't give up hope though, she kept at it, until she was right at Killian's front door. She debated searching more but she needed to see him – needed to set the record straight. She buzzed up to his apartment and heard his voice a few moments later.

" _Yes?"_

"Killian it's me. I'm sorry I-" Emma swore she heard a faint bark in the distance.

" _Emma, love it's okay. I shouldn't have pushed. Just come upstairs and we can talk about it."_ There it was again, the bark was getting slightly closer.

"Wait – I think I hear Jenna. I –" The barking was getting more frantic and Emma called out Jenna's name again. When she did, the barking doubled. "Shit – I have to go."

" _Emma, no!"_ But she was already rushing down the icy steps to try and follow the barking. She hurried down the street until she reached an alleyway. She was about to head down it when she heard him.

"Bloody hell, Emma. Please don't leave, I'm sorry I truly am! I should have been more patient. I'll wait as long as you need honestly I-" She pulled him in for a kiss by the open collar of his jacket as a means to show him that she was not running. When she pulled back she saw confusion in his eyes.

"I am moving in with you. If you still want me, but right now – I have a dog to rescue for a little boy and his mom okay?" Emma moved down the alleyway and called out to Jenna again. This time she watched as the golden retriever in question moved out from behind a trashcan.

"Come here girl." But Jenna didn't come. She merely wagged her tail and yipped at the trashcan. Emma moved forward until she saw what had Jenna so riled up. There, shivering in the snow was a small black puppy. A lab of some kind, it looked like and Emma crouched low to take the puppy in hand. The poor little guy couldn't be more than ten weeks old and looked so painfully small in the midst of all the white snow. To warm him up, Emma opened up her jacket, and tucked him in the top with her. As she did, the puppy shakily licked at her. Despite the exhaustion and horrible cold that was no doubt pulling at it, the little guy was grateful and still so trusting.

"Killian?" Emma turned expecting to see him still at the end of the alley but he was right behind her, and he moved his hand forward to stroke the puppy's head in a calming gesture. The little dog was appeased, if still shaking. Then Killian undid the belt of his jeans and made a makeshift leash for Jenna.

"Let's go home, love." Emma nodded as they made their way back to his townhouse. Once inside, he took the black ball of fur to try and get it warmed up and some water and food as Emma called Elsa.

" _Hello? Emma?"_

"Yeah, Elsa it's me. I found her. She's okay." Emma heard the sigh of relief through the receiver and then the cries of glee as Emma told her son that Jenna was all right.

" _How can I ever thank you?"_ Emma looked at Killian who was lovingly holding the small pup in his arms.

"No thanks necessary." Then Emma gave Elsa her address, and since she only lived two blocks away, she was coming over to get Jenna straight away. Soon the blonde woman was there, and this time she was joined by her son, Aiden.

"Jenna!" The boy cried as his dog ran over to lavish him with doggy kisses. Emma felt her eyes tear up at the heart warming scene and then looked over to Elsa who was actually crying. Emma invited them in, and put an arm around Elsa.

"You guys want to stay for some cocoa?" Elsa seemed to hesitate but eventually nodded. As Emma led them into the kitchen, Killian looked over and smiled.

"Elsa this is my boyfriend, Killian. Killian this is Elsa and Aiden. Jenna's family."

"Pleasure to meet you, two. Let me guess, cocoa?" Emma nodded and came around to kiss him on the cheek as he passed her four mugs to prepare. They spent the next hour talking with Elsa as Aiden played with Jenna and the new puppy. When Elsa finally made to leave, Aiden offered a potential name – _Balto_.

"I thought you said he went through the phase a few years ago," Emma whispered to Elsa.

"Oh no, it _started_ a few years ago. At this rate it will never end."

"Actually lad," Killian started "I was thinking we'd name him after the storm that brought him and Emma home. Jonas." Emma smiled as she tucked closer into his chest.

"Oh that's a good one too. Okay bye Emma, bye Killian, bye Jonas!" When they were finally gone Emma turned to face Killian and tried to say the words that she'd managed to string together on her way over here originally.

"I was wrong. I thought I couldn't have this and I was scared. I didn't think I knew how to have a home that's really mine. But then I realized that I already do. _You're_ my home and I don't want to lose you. I don't ever want to lose us." She looked up at him and watched as his eyes flooded with warmth and love.

"I've loved you from the start, Emma. A bit of cold feet isn't going to change that." Then they were kissing, melting into each other and cherishing the relief that their words provided. A soft yip eventually pulled them apart though. Emma looked down and saw Jonas looking up at them. She watched as Killian bent down to pick him up and bring him to his chest.

"As for this little rascal, I think he's a good next addition to our family." Emma's heart thumped at the mention of family and she nodded. In this moment the truth was absolutely clear – Killian (and now Jonas) was her future and she was in. She was all in.

Emma didn't know it then, but Killian was in too. He'd actually bought a ring for her a few weeks before, but he didn't present it to her for another six months. When he did, he had the help of his new best mate Jonas and he watched as Emma agreed with no hesitation. Soon they were wed and their happy little family of three grew to four and then five. And every year, when the worst of the winter storms were upon them, Killian and Emma found themselves happily reminded of the year they'd made the turn on the path to home.

…

 _My voice you didn't know, didn't know  
I called you had to go, had to go  
Back to your little world  
Where nothing is strange_

 _You set out on your own, on your own  
You said, I'm heading home, heading home  
Back to the life you know  
Neatly arranged_

 _I have done for you  
Everything my love  
Hear my song for you  
I will not hold my tongue_

 _It's late, your getting cold, getting cold  
You try to keep warm, but you're alone, you're alone  
The dark streets are empty now  
And the wind starts to blow_

 _I have done for you  
Everything my love  
Hear My song for you  
I will not hold my tongue  
Open your heart, open your heart  
For I have loved you from the start_

 _I will never harm you, come my love  
So come  
So come_

 _I have done for you  
Everything my love  
Hear My song for you  
I will not hold my tongue  
Open your heart, open your heart  
For I have loved you  
Open your heart, open your heart  
For I have loved you from the start_

 _ **Post Note- Hope you all enjoyed. I wrote this fluff today because its February 1**_ _ **st**_ _ **and in the 60s. Where is my snow people? Where is my snow?**_


	8. Ordinary Love

_**Ordinary Love, Ben Rector – CS Mixtape**_

 _ **A/N: I love the 'moments' element of OUAT where everyone just tries to have normal, ordinary moments whether it's for themselves, or with friends and family or with their true loves. That's the though process behind this little fic. Hope you enjoy!**_

"Love, you need your rest and driving yourself crazy with worry isn't doing anything to help that." Emma felt Killian's hands come around her front, spooning her in the warmth of their bed and sighed. She knew he was right, but tonight she didn't feel like biting her tongue and sucking it up. She was too tired to sleep, too fatigued by images of the foes they'd faced and the ones no doubt still to come. She just wanted a moment of freedom. Was that too much to ask for?

"Is there ever going to be more than a moment?" She asked him, exasperated.

"Pardon?"

"More than a moment of peace. Because honestly, things get so hectic that even my moments get sucked up into what-ifs and wasted time trying to plot a course through danger, and I'm sick of it."

"Yes there will be more than moments. But when there aren't that's what you have me for, to remind you that a moment can be enough." She felt his hands tracing absent minded shapes across her belly and knew he was right, but still it was infuriating.

"Remind me why we do this again." She felt the low rumble of his sleepy chuckle against her back and the sensation started to calm her, then he kissed her neck and she sighed.

"We do this because it's a hero's life, Swan, and you are every bit the hero."

"Then I went off and married a hero, too. I really made a mess of the whole 'carefree living' vibe I _really_ wanted." She turned to face him and felt the warmth in his gaze, pressing a kiss to his lips before pulling back. "I just need… _ordinary_. I want lazy Sundays and a regular nine to five and kids."

"Kids? As in more than one?" The hope in his voice made her smile.

"Yeah, as in multiple children. Three's probably a good number, right?" Killian's hold around her tightened.

"Three sounds perfect." Then his hands were roaming under the thin t-shirt she'd worn to bed, and lighting up the nerves throughout her body, filling her with that buzz of longing that always came with his touch. She brought his lips back to hers as she arched into him, craving closeness and their interaction grew hotter and hotter until she pulled back and pressed a hand against his chest.

"But we can't bring more kids into this. Look at what a life of saving has done to Henry. He should have been in school and making friends and, I don't know, having a dog and girl problems not caused by his dark-one Mom. And instead he's been traveling through different realms saving me and you and everyone. He deserved the comfort of normal and instead he got _this_." Killian pulled her hands to his mouth and kissed them gently.

"If by _this_ you mean a swarm of family who love him dearly, and a set of experiences any dreamer would envy, than you're right. But Emma, you seem to be missing something in all of this." He paused until she looked up to him. "This family isn't ordinary, so why would we have ordinary lives?"

"That's what I'm saying. Me being the savior has upended everyone's-" He silenced her with a demanding kiss and then took advantage of her surprise to interrupt her.

"It's more than your status, Swan. This is a family of royalty and robbers, of pirates and princesses. And yes, it's bloody frustrating sometimes to be governed by duty and goodness all the time, but it's who you are. I've known it all along and I've never resented it. No one resents it, love. Each of us is merely happy to belong to you." He traced the line of her lips up her cheek in a reassuring motion. "It's never going to be the right time, to add to the family love, but it shouldn't hold us back. You taught me that love always wins, in the end, and any child of ours would be surrounded by it."

"Okay," Emma whispered. Killian's soft smile told her that he believed the conversation was over, but Emma stealthily moved to straddle him, watching the flash of understanding cross his features. "So there's no harm in starting now, then?" Killian shook his head as Emma lined her heat up with his now hard cock and inched down slowly, drawing out the impact for both their pleasure. Feeling fullness and pulsing need, Emma led the rhythm for the two of them, with Killian matching her thrust for thrust. She luxuriated in the feel of him until both of them shuddered into their completion. Though she'd just had him earlier that night, she felt all the better for being with him again.

Lying beside him, Emma felt this strange sort of certainty that tonight had been the night, and that was essentially confirmed three months later when she realized she was pregnant. Six months after they welcomed their daughter, Hope Leda Jones into the world, and though life was far from ordinary, it was still happy.

Over the next few years, their ranks grew and though they'd planned for three, they ended up with four new additions. Leia Elizabeth (after two of Emma's favorite heroines) and the twins, Liam and Hunter. Though their magical world was ever in tumult, Killian was right, the love of her family and her friends kept Emma moving forward, saving them and protecting their happy endings.

As time passed, and the kids grew older, they took up more and more of the fight, much to the chagrin of Emma, Mary Margaret and Regina. And as fate would have it, it was the girls who more often than not led the charge. But Killian had been right. Danger had come knocking less and less frequently as the years went by and in that time, Emma had those glimpses of ordinary that she'd desperately craved. While they were magical, she couldn't say they were exactly perfect. After all, adventure and the need to protect were engrained in her DNA, and without outlets for that, she grew a little restless. But it had allowed her kids to go to school, and have those pets she'd dreamed for them. It had let them have their first dates and school dances. All of that had only been slightly burdened with their true love magic, and with the right training (as in no Rumplestilskin anywhere near them) they were happy, well adjusted people.

Through it all, though, Emma had Killian by her side and she knew deep in her heart that their love was anything but ordinary. For that, she was thankful every single day.

… _.._

 _I don't wanna be no star  
Have fame on the Boulevard  
No that's not what I'm looking for_

 _I don't need shiny things  
Or love from a movie screen  
But I tell you what I really want_

 _Oh oh, oh oh gimme an ordinary love  
That I touch  
That I hold  
Gimme an ordinary love_

 _I don't live in the hills  
And I probably never will  
But that won't keep me up at night_

 _Cause she's dancing like a fool  
Across my living room  
Whenever I'm with you  
my heart is singing_

 _Oh oh gimme an ordinary love  
That I touch  
That I hold  
Gimme an ordinary love_

 _Keep those fancy things  
Keep your magazine  
I don't even want what I'm chasing  
because all I know isn't ordinary love is what we're made for_

 _Oh oh, oh oh gimme an ordinary love  
That I touch  
That I hold  
Gimme an ordinary love_

 _Oh oh, oh oh gimme an ordinary love  
That I touch  
That I hold  
Gimme an ordinary love_

 _Gimme an ordinary love  
Yeah gimme an ordinary love_

 _ **Post-Note: Leave me here to luxuriate in the fluff. I won't ever change, fluff and smut will always be my favorite. Anyways, hope you guys**_ __ _ **enjoyed!**_


	9. Hello, You Beautiful Thing

_**Fic based on 'Hello, You Beautiful Thing' by Jason Mraz. Fluffy moment where Emma asks Killian to marry her. Because wow do I want that. Then transgresses from there into more fluff. Just – you know – fluff everywhere forever. Also just so people know, this fic does not have Belle and Rumple together just because I personally don't see how they could be after this latest deception. That being said, don't want to alienate any Rumbelle shippers, so if you still love them, steer clear!**_

In the hazy moments between sleep and wake, Emma felt a lovely sort of warmth surrounding her. When she had a bit more awareness, she noted that it stemmed from the pair of strong arms holding her tight and the streaming sun, coming through her bedroom window. Well _their_ bedroom window. Killian and her had moved in together after the whole Underworld fiasco.

For a moment, she lay there, indulging in the feeling of his presence. She'd gone weeks without him and it had been miserable. Worse than miserable – she had felt as if the world had stopped turning. Emma had been thrown head first into the tides of grief, a feeling she'd never really been faced with. Seems when you gave someone your whole heart, they had the power to completely destroy you, whether they meant to or not.

"It's early yet, love. Leave the thinking for later." The low grumble of Killian's morning voice made her smile but despite his plea, there would be no return to sleep for her. Right now sleeping felt like waiting, and she knew the time for waiting had passed.

"Marry me." She watched in amusement as his eyes popped open but the light disoriented him causing him to blink. She laughed a bit as he got his bearings and felt his grip tighten around her in response.

"What was that, love?"

"Marry me." The flash of surprise in his eyes would probably have been nerve wracking to another woman, but Emma knew what his answer would be. He'd proved time and time again that he was in this for the long haul, that he loved her and that he wanted nothing more than to be with her in a happily ever after.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you, love?" The line harked back to when she'd first asked him out and set her heart skipping a beat.

"I should have known you'd be old fashioned given your age what are you like three hundred?" He growled against her, pulling her in to kiss her neck and mumbling something about experience that she'd heard before, but the gruffness of his beard and the mumble of his voice against her neck set her on fire. Then he pulled back, and hopped off the bed, moving towards the far side of the room.

"What, no answer?"

"You didn't actually ask a question there, did you love? So allow me." He moved a loose piece of wood from the floor board that she hadn't realized could be opened and from within its depths took out a small black box. Coming towards her side of the bed, he kneeled prompting her to sit up. "Emma Swan, you are the best part of my world. You've given me love and a home and a family. Would you make me the happiest pirate in all the realms and be my wife?"

The ring in the box was absolutely stunning. With a white gold band bearing a swirling sort of pattern culminating in a large yellow diamond with a wreath of smaller ones around it, the ring reminded her of sunshine. It sparked memories of the few lazy moments they'd had together and the hope that there would be more of such moments to come. Emma felt the sting of tears pricking her eyes but gripped tightly to her trusty friend – her sense of humor.

"Just the happiest pirate, huh? How many of you guys are there realistically?" She watched him blink a few times before growling at her. Then she bent down to kiss him. "Yes, Killian, I will marry you." Then he was on her, with urgent kisses and they settled back into bed to properly celebrate the happy turn of events. It wasn't until later in the morning, after some truly spectacular love making that Emma considered leaving the quiet seclusion of their room to tell the rest of the world.

"I want to tell Henry first." Emma said and Killian smiled, scratching behind his ear. "You already told him, didn't you?"

"Well love, I had to check if the boy would be okay with it didn't I? Unfortunately I've upended the plan we had in place, thus denying him the chance to surprise you." Emma's heart fluttered in that way that only real joy could provoke. Her son had given his blessing – not that she ever thought he wouldn't, but still, he was her life and she'd always respect his feelings.

"And my parents?" Killian sighed.

"Your father challenged me to a duel." Emma shot up and Killian grabbed her, pulling her back love. "Only teasing. Your parents know too. As do Robin and Regina, and Belle and – "

"Does anyone _not_ know?"

"Well I can hardly say, love. This bloody town hasn't had a secret as long as I've been here so highly doubtful. But we can enlist Leroy to spread the news with his yelling about if you like to be sure." Emma laughed and moved from bed into the master bath. Then she poked her head back into the room.

"You know what I'd really like?"

"What, Swan?"

"For my fiancé to make love to me in our shower." Killian was up in an instant, reaching for her.

"As you wish."

…

 _Two Months Later_

Emma was smiling again. Even if she wanted to there would no stopping it, today was going to be a really good day. She felt it deep in her bones. Marrying Killian Jones was what she was meant to do, and she had been waiting for this for what felt like forever. Funny how her hardened heart had melted so swiftly with the right person. Okay, maybe not _swiftly_ – she'd given him a hard enough time with the whole _'I can't take a chance I'm wrong about you'_ and ' _I can't lose you too'_ arguments. Regardless, she'd been lost to him even then, despite her fighting against it.

"Emma, you look so beautiful." Her mother was already crying tears of joy and Emma fought against the inclination to join her. Instead she extended her hand and pulled her mom in front of the mirror too. Despite their strange situation and same ages, Emma had been adamant that her mother would not be a bridesmaid at her wedding. No way was she gonna be that person who had no friends except their mother.

Instead she'd asked Belle, which had come as a surprise to a lot of people but had seemed natural to Emma. Throughout everything, the town librarian had proved herself to be a good person, and now, with the advantage of some down time from the perils of evil, Emma had come to consider Belle a good friend. And, since their return from the Underworld, where they'd manage to bring Liam back and Rumplestilskin's treachery had been exposed, Emma had been hatching a plan to find her new friend someone worthy of her kindness.

There would be no convincing necessary on Liam's behalf. One look at Belle had been enough for him to fall, but Belle was understandably skittish about love. Yet Emma had noticed the way Belle seemed drawn to her soon to be brother-in-law and that was enough to keep her plan on course. Her mother's sniffling pulled Emma from the thought and back to the mirror before her.

Emma ran a hand down the beautiful white lace that made up her dress and smiled at the wreath of white flowers in her long, blonde hair. It was so different from the Emma she portrayed to the world every day, and so utterly perfect for a day like today. Gone were the dark circles that had plagued her Camelot or the black cloud of impending doom. Staring back at her was just a woman, truly happy and anxious to be wed to the man she loved. Just then a knock came at the door.

"Two minutes, Mom." Emma turned to the door that Henry had knocked at and saw her son looking very handsome in his tuxedo. Behind him was her father, looking like a slightly more reigned in version of her Mom. At least he wasn't hiccupping with barely restrained sobs.

"Thanks, Henry." He came forward and smiled big at her.

"You look really happy."

"I am, kid. I really am."

"Killian looks terrified." The comment from her Dad had her turning quickly. "Not terrified to be married, but terrified you won't show." Emma rolled her eyes.

"Har har very funny, Dad." With that, they heard the processional music beginning, and her mother took her leave to find her seat at the front of the rows of chairs. They'd decided to get married in the back yard, partly because it was home and partly because it had a fantastic view of the sea. She was marrying a pirate after all.

"Ready to go?" Henry asked her after Belle had made her way and Emma nodded. With Henry on one side and her father on the other, she walked out of the house and into the days streaming sun hearing the music and wanting to get to Killian. When she saw him standing there, her breath caught and she relished the look of unfailing love on his face. The huge smile that spread on his face made one crop up on her face as well. Then she was there, standing beside him, promising forever, vowing to always find him and love him and fight for him. They marked the moment with a kiss and then turned to face their family and friends as man and wife. Only then, did a tear escape Emma's eyes.

The reception after was further behind the house, set under a big white tent. The whole town was there, eating and drinking and dancing in honor of them. Emma for once didn't mind being the focus of everyone's attention. Thankfully no one needed saving, no malignant spirits or damned beasts had made their way into the perfect bubble of today. The moment remained in tact and Emma would be eternally grateful for that.

Long after the sun set behind the trees, when the party was winding down, and most of the guests had all said their goodbyes, Emma and Killian found comfort in being alone again. They were leaving for a trip on the open seas tomorrow, but for tonight they'd be home. Killian took her in his arms, carrying her not only into the house but through the corridors to the room they shared before placing her on the bed. But before they partook in the sweeter elements of one's wedding night, Emma handed Killian his gift. He opened the envelope hastily and found the results of Emma's most recent doctor's appointment.

"You're pregnant?" The hope and wonder in his voice felt just like the look he'd given her as she walked down the aisle that day, she nodded. And that night he showed her exactly how grateful he was for that fact for hours.

Just before she fell asleep, Emma thought about how she, a poor little lost girl, had managed to find herself a piece of perfect straight out of a fairytale. Then her eyes drifted shut as her hand moved to Killian's resting just above their next adventure.

….

 _Fall out of bed and catch a fading star  
Fancy I woke up before my alarm  
Brought my mind through my eyes  
It's the best I can do  
Before it's automatic habit of returning to you  
Though her smile when it happened, almost as if it was magic  
It means there's a God somewhere and He's laughing  
And I shuffle my slipperless toes to the kitchen  
Still low to the ground, but high on living_

 _And I know, I know, it's gonna be a good day  
Hello, hello, you beautiful thing_

 _Waking up, I stretch my body and acknowledge some aches  
It must be something I did yesterday  
Pour a cup of liquid gold, because my engine's still cold  
But in a minute everything's gonna change_

 _'Cause I know, I know, it's gonna be a good day  
Hello, hello, you beautiful thing_

 _Yes I know, I know, it's gonna be a good day  
Hello, hello, you beautiful thing_

 _This is what I've been waiting for (this is what I've been waiting for)_

 _Looking out from a cul de sac watching the band of the Earth take the black of the night from the dirt  
I can see from the depths of my readjusting eyes  
Of reflections of yes's in that ever changing sky  
But why do bad dreams linger long after I awake?  
I don't need no scenes of violence or pain replayed.  
And I feel quite foolish sometimes when I pray  
But my thoughts are all I've got so I try to make them brave_

 _And I know, I know, it's gonna be a good day  
Hello, hello, you beautiful thing  
Hello, hello, you beautiful thing_

 _Oh now this is what I've been waiting for (this is what I've been waiting for)  
Oh this is what I've been waiting for (this is what I've been waiting for)  
Oh this is what I've been waiting for (this is what I've been waiting for)  
Oh this is what I've been waiting for (Hello)_

 _And I know, I know, it's gonna be a good day  
Hello, hello, you beautiful thing..._

 _ **Post Note – Sorry not sorry for the insane levels of fluffiness. Hope you guys enjoyed! I love Jason Mraz and am so happy I managed to get one of his songs in this collection!**_


	10. Love Me Now

_**AU Where Emma and Killian are coworkers at a bar, and though he's always flirtatious, Emma can't trust him because he's always flirting with any good looking girl in the place. Yet she's still attracted to him. One night, after last call, she puts this song on to listen to while she's cleaning up the empty tables. She sings along to "Love Me Now" by Madi Diaz, and Killian watches from the side of the bar. When she's done he asks her if it meant anything. It did.**_

"Are you gonna be okay if I head out early?" Ruby's question left Emma with a small pang in her stomach but she nodded.

"Sure, it's not too much clean up tonight. Go home, see Graham." Ruby gave a small smile but looked past Emma's shoulder. Emma didn't need to follow her gaze to know what had caught her attention – Killian, their coworker and the biggest flirt on the eastern seaboard, was no doubt chatting it up with some hot girl who was still here til last call in the hopes of his taking her home. And knowing him, he would be all too happy to oblige.

"Seriously, Ruby, don't worry about it."

"He's an idiot, Emma." The comment was true, but surprising to Emma.

"He's putting himself through law school full time and working here nights. I wouldn't say he's an idiot."

"I mean with you. He's clearly in love with you and yet so juvenile. Flirting with other girls to make you jealous." Emma's heart skipped painfully but she shrugged it off.

"Well I'm not interested in him so he can flirt with whoever he wants." At this Ruby rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, you have heart eyes for that boy. He's just too dense to see it and you're too scared to tell him. So you're both just wallowing in misery with fake plastered faces of being okay." Emma's jaw dropped at Ruby's outburst.

"Um, seriously? Exaggeration much?"

"The evidence is pretty damning, Emma. That's what you lawyers say right? Exhibit a, last week when Neal was here." Emma knew what was coming but bit her lip and kept quiet. "Seeing that Neal was bothering you, Killian proceeded to man handle him out of this bar and throw him out, threatening to mess him up if he ever came back here again."

"That was because Neal was drunk and causing a scene. That's Killian's job."

"Exhibit B, he stares at you all night." Emma rolled her eyes at that.

"Hardly possible given all the _friends_ he makes each night."

"See! It does bother you. Anyways, I bet it would interest you to know that he doesn't go home with them." Emma stared at Ruby expecting her to burst out laughing because that had to be a joke. Sure Emma couldn't confirm that he was taking the girls home because she always made a hasty exit after shift, but there was no way she would believe that he didn't take them all home. He was _Killian Jones_ , and if she knew anything about him at all, is that he talked a big game and played it so well. Well at least according to the girls in the bar lusting after him.

"Don't do that – don't believe the girls that come in here saying he screwed them. He's a game for all of them. That's it. Like a hot guy trophy that they didn't ever actually earn." Emma scoffed and grabbed the white dishrag for cleaning up.

"Whatever you say, Ruby. Just go home already." Emma feigned severity but her friendship with Ruby shone through the words and Ruby gave an exaggerated sigh as she threw on her jacket.

"Just keep an open mind, okay. He's… _boyish_ … but underneath all the bluster and charm is a good guy, a guy I think you know, a guy you like." Emma's stomach fluttered at the claim but she busied herself with cleaning as Ruby left. Once sure that her friend had departed, Emma moved over to the speaker at the end of the bar and plugged in her phone.

"Gracing us with an Emma Swan selection, love?" Emma jumped at his words. How he always managed to sneak up on her like this she didn't know. She wasn't the type of girl to scare easily, and it wasn't that she was afraid, per se – okay so she was terrified. Looking into his deep blue eyes and at his lopsided grin, she felt the stirrings of attraction in her. But she had to be strong – keep things on lock. She had been hurt by enough ass holes to know that she couldn't risk it again.

Instead of responding outright, she merely selected the shuffle setting and pressed her finger at random. The bar was filled with the typical pop fare for the first ten minutes or so as Emma walked about clearing off tables and sweeping up. At one point though there was a clear shift, from the uptempo pop to a more soulful rendition. She hadn't expected this song to come on, and it was a bit more subdued than her usual clean up selection, but as soon as she heard the opening chords she knew it was perfect for her in this moment. As she went about her duties, she sang along with it, forgetting that she had an audience.

 _I'll leave my porch light on, unlock my front door_

 _Do you decide to keep me waiting, what you waiting for?_

 _Wasting time on you, more than I like_

 _Spent picking up the pieces that you leave behind_

 _Left in your mess, wiping sweat off my brow_

 _Said I wanna learn to love you try and teach me how_

 _If being in love takes up all of your time_

 _Then why do I keep giving you so much of mine_

 _So find me when you want to find me_

 _Say you want me badly, let me know somehow_

 _I'll wait up for you to make your mind up_

 _I'm so tired boy wake up, say you'll love me now_

 _I need to love you now_

A scratch of a chair behind her, reminded her she wasn't alone but she didn't look up. She kept singing, because fuck it really, it felt exactly right. So on she went, singing and cleaning, feeling as if her chest might give from the emotion behind it.

 _So am I fighting a boy, or am I fighting a man_

 _Which side will I see when you show up again_

 _The man don't wanna tell me but at least he'll try_

 _Cause the boy ain't hanging round tonight_

 _So find me when you want to find me_

 _Say you want me badly, let me know somehow_

 _I'll wait up for you to make your mind up_

 _I'm so tired boy wake up, say you'll love me now_

 _I need to love you now_

 _Stay, don't explain why you stay_

 _Don't explain_

 _If you stay, don't explain why you stay_

 _Don't explain_

 _Just find me when you want to find me_

 _Say you want me badly, let me know somehow_

 _I'll wait up for you to make your mind u_

 _I'm so tired boy wake up, say you'll love me now_

 _I need to love you now_

Emma was nervous to look up after that, to catch his eye across the room even. She'd given a lot away she was sure. She never sang along with the songs, never gave him the satisfaction, but tonight she had. And to have chosen this song of all songs was a statement – a declaration she felt stupid to make. The return to the pop of her ipod didn't help matters at all either.

"Did it mean anything?" His voice was far closer behind her than she expected and after releasing a breath she turned back to look at him, standing there waiting for her answer. In his eyes she saw something not rarely seen in their blue depths – hope. Seeing it sparked something in her, prompting her to close the space between them and pull him down by the collar of his jacket for a kiss. A real kiss, with the fireworks and the heat and the promise that their chemistry would be completely out of this world. She felt the stirring of her heart flip to hyper drive and for a moment forgot the rest of it. Everything faded from view except for this. Yet like all good things, this had to end and it was Emma who ended it, much to the chagrin of Killian.

"Emma, you should know I-" Emma pulled away and hastily moved towards her phone and her jacket behind the bar.

"Just don't." He reached for her arm, holding her there and she felt her walls crumbling, felt the pain ebbing in at full speed and looked at him praying that he couldn't see her shattering. "Please, just let me go." He did though the look in his eyes told her he hated to do it. Freed from his grasp she practically ran out of the bar and to her car. She made it as far as three streets before the crying came. She'd up and done it. She'd made a move on the one man she shouldn't and now she'd have to live with the fall out.

…..

Weeks passed, and by the grace of God she managed to avoid working with Killian. She was so terribly embarrassed that the thought of seeing him made her panic, yet if she was honest with herself, not seeing him was slowly making her miserable. Every time she worked, Ruby dug for information.

"When are you gonna tell me, Emma?" Emma shook her head and walked away, considering the conversation dropped.

"He's not the same guy since." This was the first time Ruby had done anything other than ask the question. She never pressed. Three weeks come and gone and she hadn't said anything. The new information gripped at Emma's heart like a vice.

"What?" She weakly asked.

"He's the picture of professionalism. Friendly but not flirty with anyone and he asks about you all the time. I keep brushing it off because I'm assuming he did something but I have to be honest, he seems to be hurting just as much as you are." Emma felt her arms come up and wrap around her chest in that position that signaled trying to keep in emotion. Ruby's eyes gave up that she was starting to understand.

"You told him, didn't you?" Emma shook her head.

"No I – I –" Emma grabbed her phone and played the song to Ruby. As it was playing she told Ruby about the singing and the moment and the kiss, and the immediate shut down after.

"Oh, Emma." Ruby's sound of pity made Emma angry.

"I'm fine, Ruby. So he didn't chase me, I didn't want him to. I can't do this with him. I can't love him."

"Emma, you are so full of shit." Emma whipped her head to look at her friend. "You are in love with Killian Jones and if you could make the fear in your head shut up for just a moment you'd see he's in love with you too. You need to say something to him. You need to stop running." Emma couldn't respond. She knew Ruby was right, but she was still her. Still the girl with baggage and trust issues and a world of experience telling her love was more pain than pleasure.

"We're not scheduled together for the foreseeable future." Ruby smiled at that and reached for the phone behind the bar.

"Killian, it's Ruby. Could you come cover me? I'm really not feeling well and I don't want to leave Emma alone seeing as it's kind of busy. Great thanks." Emma thought she was going to pass out and tried to ask Ruby if she was crazy but couldn't even manage the words. Ten minutes later Killian was there, hair damp from a shower looking somewhat out of breath.

"I called him at home, and that walk is at least fifteen minutes," Ruby said as she grabbed her jacket and moved to Killian to thank him. She whispered something to him that had his eyes flashing with something before he turned them to Emma. Eyes locked together, Emma felt the same sort of fading feeling where the ambient sound of the bar and the people around them disappeared. At least until one of the regulars drunkenly asked for another shot, pulling her from the thoughts. As she prepared the drink, Killian stood beside her whispering low.

"Emma, please talk to me." Emma swallowed nervously before looking back to him.

"After close." He nodded and they both worked the remaining two hours in close quarters. Emma was buzzing with adrenaline and lucky to get a single order right. The hum of anticipation in her was overwhelming, but she saw the truth of Ruby's earlier words. Killian was a bit more reserved, and his eyes stayed mostly fixed on her when not consumed with working. In his eyes, Emma saw a rawness of emotion that told her this talk between them mattered to him and that by extension she mattered. The thought kept her feet planted firmly on the ground through the night. She didn't run, she didn't want to, not even when the last of the barflies made their exits.

When the last person had left, Emma turned to him looking him square on, a silent signal that she was ready. Instinctively he moved towards her, closing the distance between the two of them. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to remain calm but that was difficult as he was so close.

"About that night – I shouldn't have done that."

"What part?" His tone was angry which confused her.

"I'm sorry?"

"The song or the kiss?"

"Um, both I guess." He mumbled under his breath as he ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry what?"

"I said that you damn well should have done both of them. Emma, look, I'll admit I've been a right idiot. Because here I am, in love with you and ruining my chances by flirting with anything with a pulse." She was so caught up in the mention of love that she only blinked at him as he continued on. "It was a defense mechanism, a ridiculous attempt to cope with the one woman I wanted not having a bit of interest in me. I didn't realize – I never dreamed that maybe you might want me too. If I had known I never would have behaved as I did. It was childish and ridiculous but you have to know it was never meant maliciously." The desperation in his voice was what finally tugged her from the swirl of her thoughts in that moment.

"You always call me an open book."

"Aye, love, and often times you are, but you're always… far away, keeping yourself at a distance. Hard to read what I can't see." Emma thought about that and knew in her heart that she had been guarded. She was so good at concealing that sometimes she didn't even realize her own feelings. She just assumed that her feelings for him were so obvious no one could miss them.

"Ruby said that you didn't take them home." He looked stricken.

"Well Ruby is right."

"Why?"

"Why?! Because I've met the perfect girl already and every other woman I meet it compared to her. None of them ever stack up, Emma, because none of them are you." He moved forward the last step between them and placed a hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes at the contact, liking the feel of him touching her. When she opened them back up, he was looking at her with an earnest questioning.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. His other hand wrapped around her waist.

"Emma there's nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who needs to apologize and I am terribly sorry. I should have just been honest, taken the risk instead of stupidly trying to make you as jealous as you'd made me."

"When have I ever tried to make you jealous?"

"There's no need to try love. Every man that walks into this bar drives me half mad with their staring and compliments and attempts to flirt. Whether or not you mean to, you attract people."

"But I don't let people in." Killian's grip stiffened a bit. "I want to let you in. I want to trust you." He exhaled and gave her one of those dazzling smiles.

"I will work every day to show you I'm worthy of your trust."

"That would be helpful, because I think I love you too." Then she pulled his head down to hers for another kiss. This one wasn't marred with the fact that it had to end. It went on, gloriously fantastic as those first kisses backed with hope tend to be. When they pulled apart, they knew their separation was temporary. After all, despite what Emma had said, she did trust Killian. Call it a special skill or a superpower or what have you, but Emma Swan knew when people were telling the truth and Killian Jones meant every word he promised her.

The ensuing weeks were testament to that, as the two of them left the uneasy past behind them and moved further into their lives together. Eventually they left the bar behind to, focusing on their careers and their family. They were married, had kids and a home to call their own. Every day was a gift, even the bad ones, and through it all, through all the highs and lows, they had each other. Years later, after all was said and done, when the bulk of her life had passed her by, Emma Swan reflected and knew that singing that song and kissing that boy was the best thing she'd ever done. It had brought her the man of her dreams – lucky for her, the man of her dreams was also the man of her life.

 _ **Post-Note: Leave me here to swim through the fluff and feels I torture myself with. Maybe when the show comes back I can stop being bombarded with these little stories, yet somehow I find that unlikely. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	11. Shape of My Heart

_**Shape of My Heart – CS Mixtape**_

 _ **A/N: This specific song was prompted by one of my awesome readers on FF! It's one of my favorites, but not one I had thought of to this point. She also gave me the idea to explore that voicemail Killian left for Emma in season 4 (episode 8) about wanting to be a better man, so this is a short cannon divergent story where Emma gets the voicemail and… well you'll see. Hope you guys enjoy, and keep the song suggestions coming!**_

As she drove to the manor house Gold had described, Emma noted one of the missed messages on her phone blinking back at her. Killian had called, and right now she missed him. She wouldn't risk putting him in danger, but she could let herself hear his voice, right? Maybe it would help calm this bundle of energy she'd become. She played the most recent, a longer one than the others and like she'd thought, the tones of his voice seemed to soften her skittishness some.

" _Swan, it's Killian again, you have to listen to me. I know that you've been to see Gold, I saw what you did, and if he's promised to get rid of your powers, don't listen to him. He doesn't want to help you – he wants to collect your powers in a bloody magic hat and when he does, you'll be sucked in too."_

"Oh God." Emma slammed on the breaks of the bug, stopped in the middle of the street. She'd been on her way out of town. No one was coming from either direction, so there she sat, transfixed by what came next.

" _I don't know what he's planning but I know that he's been lying to Belle. The dagger he gave her is a fake… I only know all this…"_ Killian paused, emotion clinging to his voice that forced a clutch at her heart.

" _Because I'm afraid I've been lying to you too. Gold blackmailed me into helping him. He knew – He knew I'd do whatever it takes to be with you and he used it against me."_ At the mention of lying, she'd gone cold but grounded herself in the truth that if Killian was right, if Gold was after stripping her powers and killing her in the process then he was no reformed man. He was a manipulative bastard, hell she'd nearly gone to meet him.

"Killian," she whispered his name and closed her eyes. Whatever he'd done, it couldn't be his fault, not entirely, because aside from Gold's interference, Emma had also made things hard. Despite the fact that she knew Killian was a game changer, she continued to hold back. Even after the date, she was cautious. Now that caution had put him in Gold's path and he was begging her to hear reason and save herself.

" _I just wanted to be a better man for you, Swan… and I failed. And now because of it I might lose you."_ She felt the tears welling up now but forced them back. She could not cry, she had to figure out where he was, to make this better, to tell him that he was enough for her.

" _I'm sorry. But I hope you never forgive me because that means that you'll get this in time to save yourself. Goodbye."_

"No! No!" She clicked the redial button so fast, needing to tell him that she'd gotten his message.

" _Emma, love where are you? Are you okay?"_ She exhaled a shaky breath relieved.

"Killian I don't want to hurt you, but I need –"

" _Anything, Emma. I will do anything."_ There were those stupid tears again. She instructed him to meet her near the docks and he said he'd be there straight away. In practically no time she was there and he was waiting there for her. She got out of the bug and walked quickly to him, once a few feet away she stopped. Immediately he started talking.

"There's no excuse for what I did, Emma."

"Killian," her response was quieter than she expected but he shook his head.

"No Emma, please. I made the wrong choice, again after all this time I made the wrong choice and it's unforgiveable. I told myself that it was okay since it would allow me to be with you, but in the end succumbing to the darkness stole what I wanted in the first place as it always does."

"I forgive you." He looked shell shocked.

"Emma you don't even know what's happened."

"I forgive you." Her voice was stronger, determined now and he stepped forward. She extended her hands in warning and closed her eyes, taking a shaky breath in. She didn't want to hurt him.

"You wont hurt me, Emma." Her eyes popped open at the comment.

"I hurt Henry." Her voice cracked at the admission. Killian nodded.

"Aye, love. But you wont hurt me, because I'm going to convince you that the magic inside of you is not a curse, it's a part of you and you, Emma, are the best thing in the world." Emma looked at his face, which was both earnest and yet still tinged with sadness, with guilt. She noted his hook on his hand and it dawned on her.

"Your hand. That's how he got to you." Killian nodded miserably. She moved forward tentatively until she took the hook in question in hand. "I know who you are, Killian. I know that you've changed. You said you failed me by not being enough, but I know the shape of your heart and it's good. You want to know the truth?"

"Always, love."

"You changed me too. I'm the savior, but I'm not always brave. You make me braver. You remind me that I can do this. You save me, and I love you for it." His hands were on her in seconds, pulling her closer to him and tilting her face up to his. Only then did she realize how huge what she'd said had been. She couldn't take it back.

"You love me." She nodded scared to death that he wouldn't say it back. "I love you too, Emma. Always without question." Then they kissed and Emma felt the barely restrained feeling of chaos under her skin transforming from fear to belonging. The magic humming under her fingertips that had caused the bursts of electricity now only simmered beneath the surface, and when she pulled back, she noted that the blossoming tree they'd been standing under was shedding flowers. Only it wasn't flower season.

"See love, your magic is a beautiful thing. We can figure it out together, us and your family." He extended his hand to her and she took it, knowing they'd turned a corner and feeling ready to face the darkness ahead.

Unfortunately for them, the darkness was still coming, what with a curse and a deranged Dark One to handle. Through it all they never gave up hope and Killian was right, together they figured out her magic and so much more. The most important thing they figured out? How to have that happily ever after both of them worked so hard for.

…..

 _Baby please try to forgive me_

 _Stay here don't put out the glow_

 _Hold me now don't bother if every minute it makes me weaker_

 _You can save me from the man that I've become, oh yeah_

 _Lookin' back on the things I've done_

 _I was tryin' to be someone_

 _I played my part, kept you in the dark_

 _Now let me show you the shape of my heart_

 _Sadness if beautiful loneliness that's tragic_

 _So help me I can't win this war, oh no_

 _Touch me now don't bother if every second it makes me weaker_

 _You can save me from the man I've become_

 _Lookin' back on the things I've done_

 _I was tryin' to be someone_

 _I played my part, kept you in the dark_

 _Now let me show you the shape of my heart_

 _I'm here with my confession_

 _Got nothing to hide no more_

 _I don't know where to start_

 _But to show you the shape of my heart_

 _I'm lookin back on the things I've done_

 _I never wanna play the same old part_

 _I'll keep you in the dark_

 _Now let me show you the shape of my heart_

 _Lookin' back on the things I've done_

 _I was tryin' to be someone_

 _I played my part, kept you in the dark_

 _Now let me show you the shape of my heart_

 _Lookin' back on the things I've done_

 _I was tryin' to be someone_

 _I played my part, kept you in the dark_

 _Now let me show you the shape of my heart_

 _ **Post-Note: So haven't watched season 4 in a while, but remember being so ticked that we didn't have an 'I love you' yet at that point. So I made myself one. Hope you guys are okay with that and enjoyed this unusual trip to rewrite the past with me!**_


	12. Where I wanna Be

_**Where I Wanna Be – CS Mixtape**_

 _ **Short AU where Emma and Killian are good friends who met through Mary Margaret and David. Neither of them has made a move until now but Killian has had a sleepless night after Emma went on a date the night before. He goes out running and ends up at Emma's house. The rest is fluff.**_

 _Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding._ Mile five rang out on the blasted exercise band he'd gotten and still all Killian could think of was Emma. The feelings were so varied that there was no way to rein them in. That he loved her he was sure, that could never be doubted, but he was angry - not at her but at himself and definitely at the arse who had asked her out for last night. He was terrified that this was the beginning of the end for any shot he'd ever had at real happiness and that driving fear kept his feet pounding against the pavement at an even faster pace.

He couldn't escape the feeling that the world was about to crumble. Nothing he did could distract him from the fact that his Emma, his Swan had gone out with another man last night. Yes it was his own damn fault for waiting so long, but hell if the thought didn't set him on a course of destruction. Even now, miles into a grueling run he couldn't outrace his thoughts. Anytime he thought he might have overcome, he had a flash of her green eyes or golden hair pop into his mind. He swore he smelled the sweet scent of her perfume or heard her voice in the wind and it was driving him to insanity.

After a night of no sleep spent regretting his own inability to just tell her how he felt, how he'd felt since first meeting her a few months ago, Killian felt completely out of control. What could he do? Nothing but run. He needed to exhaust himself into some semblance of acceptance. She was moving forward with a man that worked for one of the biggest banks in the country. Killian couldn't compete with flashy gifts and exorbitant wealth. He made very little money on the force in comparison. Emma deserved the world, and what could Killian give her?

 _Every damn ounce of love in my body,_ he thought to himself but shook the thought away. He had to respect Emma's wishes. He was the bloody fool that had missed his chance and he knew as much when David called him last night and absently told him Emma had said the date went well. Since that moment the crush of defeat had gripped at Killian's chest. He was starting to come around to the acceptance stage of things. He was miserable, but he knew that he'd fucked himself over.

Only his feet seemed to have a different idea, because Killian only just realized that they had led him to the corner of the city where Emma lived in a small brownstone. He was practically at her front door and he hadn't realized it was happening. He was hardly surprised though. Everything about her was like a siren call to him. She could do no wrong, and when she did he found it endearing. Love was a cruel antagonist for the man left unrequited in it.

Killian stopped at Emma's stoop in front of her house and stared up, wondering if she was home and what she was doing with her day off. She was constantly busy as a nurse, shuffling between shifts during the day and night same as him, but she was a savior, a beacon of light for her patients and for him. As he stood there debating whether to torture himself more or simply knock on her door, the door in question opened and the woman of his dreams emerged. She was stunning, hair hanging loose and her casual clothes fitting with the ease of having them for quite some time. His breath caught and as always he felt the world was somehow brighter for her being there near him.

"Killian!" She exclaimed, surprised but happy to see him. She made her way down the stairs and looked him up and down, noting the clothes he wore for his run and no doubt seeing what a mess he was. Killian ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment.

"Swan." The word sounded like a prayer off his lips and her features changed. They went from happy and open to curious and a bit concerned.

"What's the matter, is everything okay?" She moved a step closer and he felt his throat tighten at her care. He couldn't help what happened next.

"Don't see him again, love." She blinked at him for a beat.

"See who?"

"Walsh." The stunned look she gave him made him want to kiss her something fierce. "I love you, Emma. I'm a bloody fool for not telling you and I know you likely don't feel the same but he's not right for you. You deserve… hell you deserve the whole world, love."

The moment that passed between them was brief and he watched the range of emotions swimming in her eyes as she came to understand what he was saying and the next thing he knew she was closing the space between them and pulling him down to her, kissing him like it was the most normal thing. But it wasn't normal. It was extraordinary. It was out of time and space and made him feel for the first time that he'd seen the face of true joy. When she pulled back, her breathing ragged, she looked him straight in the eye.

"I love you too." Her words had him reeling and he held her tight against him.

"So no second date then?" Emma shook her head.

"The first didn't even last an hour. I made my excuses and left. He wasn't the right guy. He wasn't you." The last part came out as a whisper from her lips and he bent to kiss her again.

"David said it went well." Emma sighed at that.

"Probably Mary Margaret's doing. She's been dropping not so subtle hints that I should come clean about how I felt for a while now." Killian knew what that was like, having been on the receiving end from the pixie-haired woman and David for some time as well. He didn't really mind though, now that he had Emma in his arms. Only then did it dawn on him that he'd been running like a mad man all morning and was probably less than desirable in this moment. He stepped back.

"I fear I've been imposing my sweat on you for all this time love. Less than romantic." She smiled genuinely and he watched as it turned mischievous, taking his hand in hers.

"I have a _really_ nice shower. If you want to come up, you could see for yourself." Killian searched her expression for tell of jest but she was serious and he nodded readily. Then she led him into her home and they spent the entirety of the afternoon showing each other what the past few months of waiting for each other to make the first move had inspired.

That night, they went on their first date. It lasted far more than an hour. And their lives together… well that spanned a good sixty-something years. Through every up and down, they still felt that same kind of deep love that they had on that day and knew in their hearts that wherever the other was, that was exactly where they wanted to be.

…

 _I built my luck like a castle in the sand_ _  
_ _And when it comes down, it comes tumbling to the ground_ _  
_ _And when she speaks, it's a dangerous fantasy_ _  
_ _Set me free to where I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be, I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be_ _  
_

 __ _And her hair goes like a lighter in the wind_ _  
_ _And I lose my senses, baby, it's under my skin_ _  
_ _And when she speaks, she's all I'll ever need_ _  
_ _She sets me free, oh oh_ _  
_ _Just where I wanna be, I wanna be_ __

 _She set me free where I wanna be, I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be, I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be, I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be_ __

 _I built my luck like a castle in the sand_ _  
_ _And when it comes down, it comes tumbling to the ground_ _  
_ _And when she speaks, it's a dangerous fantasy_ _  
_ _Set me free to where I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be, I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be, I wanna be_ _  
_ _She set me free where I wanna be_

 _ **Post-Note: So as with most of the songs in this collection, my shuffle is to blame. I rediscovered this song after a long time of not listening to it. It's one of my best songs to run to and the rest is history. Hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	13. In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning

_**Three times 'In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning' comes into play with Emma, Killian and their kids. So much fluff I gave myself the feels.**_

Something people never told you about happy endings? That not every moment was going to be the best of the best. An example of such a moment that lacked amazingness was the one where your eight-month old daughter was crying at two AM after less than two hours of sleep – for the fourth night in a row. Emma moved to go get her but Killian was already out of bed.

"I've got her, love." He kissed her gently on the forehead before heading into the nursery next door. Emma considered going back to sleep, but the baby monitor on the nightstand was still on, and Killian had forgotten to shut his feed off.

"What's the bother, my lovely girl?" Immediately Leia quieted. She was murmuring happily as she almost always did when her father was around. Emma smiled despite her fatigue at how Killian's streak with charming people stayed in tact with their family's newest addition. Meanwhile Leia was just like him – big blue eyes, soft brown hair and a smile that could get her whatever she wanted.

Her biggest fan besides her parents? Her big brother Henry of course. He was the one who had named her, remembering how his mom and Killian made it into the fairytale book. Emma had only hesitated a moment before accepting. Her daughter was named after a great movie heroine, a strong woman who regularly kicked ass. That would go well in this family.

"You're very like your mother you know." Leia seemed to laugh at that. "Yes you are. You're both beautiful and stubborn and very good at getting me to do anything you like." Emma rolled her eyes at that.

"Your mother is also the best woman in the world, someone I hope you will be just like when you're older." Emma sighed happily at that then heard Killian's soft hum sound through the speaker. When he started to sing out loud, Emma luxuriated in the easy tones of his surprisingly pleasing voice.

 _In the wee small hours of the morning,_

 _While the whole wide world is fast asleep,_

 _You lie awake and think about the girl_

 _And never, ever think of counting sheep_

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson,_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning,_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all._

Emma made her way out of the bed, following the sound of those lovely lyrics through her room and down the hall. She walked quietly over to the doorway of Leia's room and watching her husband cradle their daughter as he finished the song.

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all_

Emma moved slightly, pulling Killian's attention towards her, his face breaking out into a really happy grin that spread to her as well.

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson,_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all_

Emma walked up to Killian and looked down at her now subdued little girl. She was perfect, middle of the night crying and all. Leia held tightly to Killian's finger in her tiny little hand. Emma touched it gently, unraveling her fingers carefully and kissing her hand lightly. Then Killian put her back down in the crib and the two of them took a moment to just enjoy her cuteness.

"She's going to be big trouble." Emma whispered. Killian looked aghast.

"A daughter of mine? Trouble? She'll be an angel." Emma looked at him and when his serious face broke down into laughter she ducked into his chest to muffle her own. He extended his hand and walked them back to their room where they lay back down for the night in the hopes of some actual sleep.

"You're getting her started early on Frank, huh?" Emma couldn't help but poke fun at this. Frank Sinatra had quickly become one of Killian's favorites in this realm and his love of the crooner was well known through Storybrooke.

"You're never too early for the standards, Swan." Emma laughed since he'd been more than three hundred years old when he discovered them. The funny thought and his continued humming lulled her back to sleep, where blessedly she managed to stay for the remainder of the night.

…..

"Mommy!" Emma shot up in bed, taking in her surroundings. She was at home, safe and okay as far as she could tell.

"What? What?" She looked to the side of her bed to find the twins, Elsa and Liam both looking scared but uninjured. They were three and growing so fast but right now, they seemed so small and worried.

"Bad dream?" Liam nodded as Elsa replied.

"We miss Daddy and Henry." Emma sighed. So did she, especially now with two little ones to comfort. The door opened and there was five-year-old Leia looking in at them. Make that _three_ little ones.

"Come here." All three of them were in the bed in no time, snuggling under the covers and Emma had to admit that she felt better not sleeping here alone.

"When are Daddy and Henry coming home, Mommy?" Liam looked genuinely concerned and she gave her son a quick kiss on his forehead.

"Tomorrow around lunch. They went on the annual camp out, you know that." She brushed the hair out of little Elsa's eyes that was blocking her wide eyes.

"When do we get to go?" Leia asked as if this was a big injustice that they weren't all together.

"When you're eleven." The age was a big one for their family and so was often the cutoff for thee kinds of things.

"But that's so far away!" Leia looked near negotiation but Emma merely gave her a look.

"Trust me, honey. There's nothing all that fun about sleeping outside on the ground. All it takes is one campout to know that." Leia considered for a minute and then nodded.

"Mommy, can you sing the song?" Emma contemplated but finally agreed. Though she'd never do it as well as Killian, she could carry the tune and it was the surest way to ensure that they'd all go to sleep.

 _In the wee small hours of the morning,_

 _While the whole wide world is fast asleep,_

 _You lie awake and think about the girl_

 _And never, ever think of counting sheep_

Emma watched as Leia opened her arms to Elsa and hugged her sister close and her heart felt sore with how cute it was. Moments like there were the best, where the kids were happy and safe and loved. They proved to Emma that despite her fears, she was doing a good job as a parent, providing them with what they needed. As Emma continued, Leia started singing along quietly too in that adorable little kid way.

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson,_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning,_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all._

Liam was drifting asleep, his big green eyes losing the battle to stay awake as he snuggled in closer to Emma but he sang some of the words too. To be fair, he only knew about half of them and made the others up, but in time he would certainly know.

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all_

Now Emma was singing alone, all of them submitting to the fatigue of the late hour and she too felt the pull of lethargy at her mind, but she had to finish this song, trust them to wake up and make her start over if she didn't.

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson,_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all_

Emma didn't know this, but Killian was thinking of the same song at that moment, struggling to sleep on the trip with the boys. True to the song, he wasn't counting sheep, he was thinking of his favorite girl and the wonderful kids he had waiting with her at home. Morning couldn't come soon enough for either of them, but come it did.

…

"Nervous, love?" Killian asked Emma as they took their seats in the high school auditorium.

They'd come to know this room well in the past few years. Henry had been active in the drama department once all the chaos of good versus evil subsided. Not surprisingly he was the writer and director for a number of productions, many of which were fantastical in nature but funny and astute in a way that she'd come to expect from her eldest son.

Leia too had spent a lot of time here. As the head of the Storybrooke debate club, she was constantly inviting other towns to come and challenge them. The team remained undefeated based largely off the ability of Leia and her 'aunt' Avery. The two were inseparable and both very, _very_ opinionated.

But tonight they were here for the twins. Liam and Elsa had entered a talent show together and Emma had found out only yesterday. She had no idea what they were doing or what lay in store. So yes, she was nervous for her children who were putting themselves out there, something that had for so long given her anxiety, especially as a kid.

"They'll be great. Now, let's check these programs and see what we're in for. Perhaps Liam convinced princess Ellie to have a belch off like we get every night at dinner." Emma laughed knowing there was no chance of that. When they found them in the pamphlet Emma found herself tearing up.

 _Elsa and Liam Jones, vocals, piano, and cello to 'In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning'_

Killian took Emma's hand in his and kissed it gently. She looked at her husband, whose hair was just starting to get the silver streaks that told of age, whose face had a few more lines in it than when they'd first met all those years ago. He looked as handsome as ever and his eyes told her that he was going to be here through everything tonight as he always was and he always would be.

Over the next few minutes, the rest of the family gathered, even Henry was there despite the demands of his new job in Boston. He was an editor's assistant at one of the Publishing Houses that specialized in children's literature, and of course he was a natural, but the job meant Emma saw less and less of him. Having him there was it's own special treat.

"Couldn't miss my kid sister and brother sing the song could I?" And that's what it had become, 'the song.' When things were good, when things were bad, it always made it's way back into their lives somehow. It had become a part of their story and tonight there would be a new chapter.

After the first few acts, most of which were uncomfortable in that high school way, it was Liam and Elsa's turn. Emma squeezed Killian's hand tightly.

"Good thing young Neal is taping this for his internship at the town TV station, so my hand is free for you, love." Emma swatted at Killian's arm and then leaned in against it as Elsa and Liam took their seats with their instruments. Liam angled his cello before him and then angled his microphone towards his mouth. Elsa did the same with hers at her piano.

"Hi, we're Elsa and Liam Jones and this song is for Mom and Dad." There was a chorus of 'awws' from the crowd but Emma was consumed with looking at her two babies up there. Elsa gave a quiet count and Liam was off with a flawlessly played intro.

 _In the wee small hours of the morning,_

 _While the whole wide world is fast asleep,_

 _You lie awake and think about the girl_

 _And never, ever think of counting sheep_

"I didn't realize that Liam could sing too!" Mary Margaret whispered to David in astonishment.

"Or that Ellie could play this well," he replied.

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson,_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning,_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all._

They'd really made the song their own, using echo and rounds to give both of their voices a chance to shine, and though Emma had known they were talented, it still took her breath away. These were her kids, her products of true love, white magic and all, and yet here they were making magic of a very different kind. She was stunned, as if under some spell that she never wanted out of. She could spend her whole life admiring the wonder of her kids and the joy that was her life.

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all_

Emma felt Henry's hand come to grab hers on the other side and she looked at him for the instrumental portion. He mouthed 'I love you, Mom." She replied in kind.

"I love you too, kid."

 _When your lonely heart has learned its lesson,_

 _You'd be hers if only she would call_

 _In the wee small hours of the morning_

 _That's the time you miss her most of all_

Visions of the kids through the years were clawing at the back of her mind. She always thought of them as being so small, but she couldn't deny how beautiful her Elsa looked with her long blonde hair waving gently as her voice warbled through the whole space. Her hazel eyes were closed as she really felt the song and Emma couldn't stop the tears from spilling.

As they each stood back from their instruments and bowed, the entire gym full of people jumped to their feet to applaud. No one was louder in their cheering than Emma, Killian, Henry and Leia though. They had to wait until the end of the show to see the twins but when they did, it was worth it.

"What did you think?" Liam asked cockily, so like his dad and his namesake.

"Needs work, bro." Henry joked and Liam faked a punch at his older brother.

"Very well done, son." Killian was incredibly proud as he pulled Liam in for a hug.

"Mom?" Ellie asked Emma looking truly unsure. Emma brought her daughter in for a fierce hug before making something very clear.

"Perfect. And I'm not saying that because I'm your Mom." Ellie and Liam grinned.

"Yeah we know you well enough to know you'd tell it to us straight?"

"Hey, I wouldn't?" Killian asked fake put out.

"Not if you thought it would hurt our feelings." Ellie replied knowingly.

"Probably true." Killian agreed.

"Definitely true," the comment from her father had Emma laughing.

"Come on now, let's go get some food."

"Grilled cheese and cocoa?" The kids asked hopefully.

"Do we ever eat anything else in this family? Now come on lets hustle." The kids all piled into Henry's car, leaving Emma and Killian with a moment to themselves in their car.

"I love you, Killian." He leaned across the counsel and kissed her.

"And I love you, Emma."

 _ **Post-Note: Leave me here to wallow in the amazingly fluffy world of a happily ever after filled with cute kids, captain swan and Sinatra. This is my idea of a perfect happy ending for them.**_


	14. Secret Love Song

_**Secret Love Song – CS Mixtape**_

 _ **Prompt from FF for the song 'Secret Love Song' by Little Mix. Includes Killian as a famous actor who doesn't want Emma to experience the paparazzi so they keep their relationship a secret, which she grows tired of. She tries to end it but he invites her to an award show with him to prove she's okay with it. Ends up being very smutty and fluffy. Story Rated M.**_

This wasn't working and maybe it was no ones fault, but that didn't keep the pangs of heartbreak from thrumming at her ribcage as she prepared to tell the man she loved that this was over, they were over. The truth was that she'd never loved another person as fiercely as she loved him, never felt herself fit so well with someone, but there came a time when that stopped being enough, and Emma had reached it.

Killian Jones was everything she'd ever hoped for in a man, kind, loving, hot as hell, great in bed, successful, honorable, the works. She knew him better than anyone else and over the past few months he'd come to know her the same, if not better. No one had ever made her feel the way that he did, and for a while there, she'd thought _'this is it, he's the one.'_ Leave it to Emma to fall for a man who was two different people, one in private and one in the public eye.

An A-List actor leading both blockbusters and award winning concept films, Killian was beloved the world over for his good looks, charm and bad boy with a heart of gold image. This was something Emma knew well as a writer for a magazine focused on pop culture. That was how they'd met, in an interview about one of his new projects. It had been instant, the attraction between them, but Emma's insecurities had slowly been on the rise, making her think that this happily ever after could never really work out. He didn't want to go public with their relationship, but she couldn't stand being on the sidelines anymore.

Killian was a constant topic in the office, 'which terrible starlet or shallow model was he dating this week?', 'would he ever settle down when he could be a playboy?', and on it went day in and day out. She'd tried to tell him a few weeks ago that they needed to take the next step and he'd promised her that the paparazzi would ruin them. She'd let herself believe he loved her so much he couldn't bear to hurt her, now she saw it as a stalling tactic and Emma was done waiting. They both deserved to love someone in public, and if they couldn't do that she needed to keep moving. That was what she'd always been good at, surviving the heartbreak and making it work. She kept telling herself she could do that now too, even if she knew deep in her heart that it would never happen. She was saying goodbye to happiness in the name of truth and transparency.

"Emma, Emma look at me." She couldn't. She knew that if she did, those blue eyes would get her to cave again, and she wouldn't do that.

"Killian I love you, and I want you to be happy but we can't do this anymore." His hands were on her and it took everything in her not to move towards him, but somehow she withstood.

"It was that damned interview wasn't it?!" She felt her throat restricting but she said nothing. "Emma I need you to trust that I'm doing this for you, for us. The paparazzi is insane, the scrutiny is maddening and I won't let us fall apart because of it." At that she looked at him.

"We're falling apart with or without them." She whispered the words, so close to crying that she didn't dare breath incase it set them flowing. "Unless you've suddenly decided to change career paths, this is your life. There's no future in hiding, and I can't keep standing still. You'll move on, find someone who you think belongs in this life with you better than I could. Just, make sure she's worthy of you, okay? For me."

 _Just get out of here. Hold it together until you're out of here,_ Emma thought to herself as she pulled back, grabbing her bag from the countertop and moved through the kitchen where they'd been standing. His hand gripped at hers and she felt her resistance lessening.

"You're right love. We can't keep hiding, much as I'd like to. But you're also so incredibly wrong. I will _never_ move past you. You are everything to me and hell if you asked me to right now I would give this all up, no hesitation. All you need to do is ask." Emma felt her heart skip with hope.

"I don't want you to give this up. I want you to trust that I'm strong enough. I know what I can handle, and I can handle being your girlfriend in front of the world."

"For now."

"No, if I say I can handle it, I mean I can-" He covered her mouth with a demanding kiss, pulling the thought from her mind.

"I meant you're my girlfriend for now. If I'm going public with the world's most gorgeous, intelligent, wonderful woman, you can be damn sure you'll be my wife soon."

"Sounds promising," she said as she dropped her things and molded herself to him, craving the feel of his skin on hers. When his lips were on hers, she felt her previously battered emotions shedding away, replaced with a feeling that they could do this, together. Killian pulled her closer, hands firmly on her ass and up into his hard length.

"I'll promise you much more, love." She moaned as he lifted her to the counter of the island, and quickly stripped off the leggings she'd been wearing, as she pulled off her shirt. His fingers teased at the slit of her cotton panties and pulled a wanton plea from her.

"Killian _please_." His response was to push his fingers past the fabric, into her waiting heat. Circling her clit and filling her at the same time, Emma's eyes were fluttering shut with the shear pleasure of it. Killian was kissing at her neck, sucking at that spot that drove her wild and as she neared the peak he whispered against her skin.

"I love you, Emma." His words sparked the climax she'd been chasing.

"I -I -I" she tried to say she loved him too, but he was kissing his way down her body, opening her legs wider. He placed a kiss on her core through the now soaked fabric of her panties and she gasped. Then he pulled them off, exposing her to his eyes for his perusal. The heated gaze he was given her, made her even wetter.

"I will never have my fill of you, Swan." Then he was there, licking her thoroughly and landing on her clit with a hard suck.

"Oh God, Killian!" His kisses down low had her writhing, trying at more friction, needing another release though she'd just had one. He didn't leave her hanging, swirling his tongue in that way that made her whole body shake until he almost had her again. His fingers worked into her as he pulled back, looking up at her.

"I love you, Emma." Again she was clutched by an orgasm so strong she almost couldn't stand it, but she did and it was glorious. When she came down, she saw that love in his eyes and felt the same buzz coursing through her. An idea came to her and she used her sultriest voice to tell him about it.

"You know… we haven't had sex up here yet."

"I do love a challenge, love." He managed to get up there with her and straddled her as she lay back on the hard stone countertop.

"Then I challenge you to fuck me right here, right now." And that he did. The two of them made some memorable magic that made any future use of that kitchen almost problematic. Emma would never be able to walk back in there without thinking of their hot lovemaking, and you know what? She was totally okay with that.

"I love you, too," she whispered when they were finally sated, and his responding smile made everything seem lighter somehow.

….

"You look fantastic, Emma." The comment from Belle French, Emma's personal assistant (yeah, she had a personal assistant now), was true, even Emma could admit that. Donning a sleek gold, dress that fit her perfectly, and flawlessly applied makeup she had to admit that she looked better than good. Her green eyes looked wide and bright, her blonde hair was cascading over her shoulder in professionally styled hair and her shoes? Well her shoes were insanely tall, surprisingly comfortable, and the stuff of dreams. She was in love with them.

"That would be an understatement." Emma turned away from the full-length mirror to see Killian, looking ridiculously handsome in his designer tux. She was so tempted to strip it off of him, but they'd both been through the wringer in getting ready for tonight, a night when he was nominated for an Oscar. As in an actual Oscar.

"Are you nervous?" He shook his head when she posed the question.

"Not even close."

"That sure of yourself, huh?"

"Well frankly, love, I don't give a damn about the award. All I care about is getting you alone after, and stripping your gorgeous body of this dress." He had whispered low enough that Belle wouldn't hear, but the flush that coursed over Emma probably hinted at the seductive nature of the statement.

"Mr. Jones, your car is here." Killian's driver informed them as Killian nodded.

"Are you ready, love?"

"As I'll ever be I guess." Emma extended her hand to him and together they set forth to the red carpet madness. Emma had been to a few smaller awards ceremonies in the time they'd been together, but nothing of this scale.

"They're going to be all over you tonight." Killian mused as he held her close to his side in the back of the limousine. Emma couldn't argue with that because he was right. Once they'd gone public, the media had been constantly talking about the two of them, naming them crazy things like hottest couple of the year and ranking them on a list of power relationships to watch.

Emma had handled it all as gracefully as she could, but he was right the transition had been hard, especially at first. The magazine she worked for had been running stories on her and in the end she decided it would be best to leave. Of course once she told her boss that, he'd informed her that they 'couldn't afford to lose her.' She'd still walked but a few days later she was visited by one Regina Mills, CEO of the magazine's parent company. Ms. Mills had offered Emma an amazing opportunity to be the new editor in chief and design the magazine as it had been intended at it's start.

Now, nearly five months later, Emma had largely achieved that, doing away with personal life rumors and instead focusing on three big industries: movies, TV and music. Because really, there was enough gossip when one kept it strictly about the art, no reason to hound people for private details of their home lives. That didn't mean there wouldn't be a representative from her magazine there on the red carpet, and she'd have to at least stop for her and give a statement. In a matter of hours, though, it would be over, they'd go back home and be just Emma and Killian again.

As they pulled up to the entrance, he raised her hand to his to kiss as reassurance and then they were out, faced with dozens of flashing cameras, screaming fans, and zealous reporters seeking a quote. They made their way through, Emma taking great pains to make sure Killian hit all the spots he needed to and giving him the space to take certain parts solo when they finally reached Ruby Lucas, her magazine's best awards show correspondent.

"Hello Ruby, did I miss anything good yet?" Ruby nodded.

"One of the nominees 'spilled' water all over some rude reporter who asked her what her favorite sexual position was." Emma blinked for a moment.

"Tell me you got his name." The brunette nodded again. "Good, annihilate him in your piece." Ruby laughed then asked to have the camera turned on for an interview, Emma accepted.

"We're here with _'Reel Deal's'_ very own editor in chief, Emma Swan."

"Emma Jones," Killian clarified as he approached behind Emma, putting his hand on the small of her back.

"I'm sorry, Emma Jones?!" Ruby sounded near squealing and it was not because of the exclusive scoop. The two women had become good friends over the course of the past few months and Ruby had been on a ring watch for most of that time. While Ruby had been at the surprise wedding ceremony last weekend, she had sworn a vow of secrecy, as had the other guests. She did an excellent job at seeming surprised now, though.

"She finally caved and made me the happiest man on earth." Killian's teasing grin made Emma roll her eyes.

"Such a burden really, he has practically no inducements." Ruby laughed as Killian feigned hurt and then Emma kissed him quickly to shut him up. Ruby went on to ask a few questions related to the magazine and Emma's opinion on lingering issues with the academy's selection processes and bias. Emma answered them all as professionally but honestly as she could and all the while, Killian was very patient…. Until he wasn't.

"Pardon me, Ruby, but if you'll excuse us, I'd like to get my gorgeous wife the drink we both rightly deserve." Ruby nodded happily and Emma heard her statement to the camera as they walked away.

"Well you heard it here first, Killian Jones and Emma Swan have officially tied the knot, arguably proving that fairytale romances do exist." Emma chuckled at that.

"Hear that? We're a fairytale romance. I suppose that makes you a prince?" Killian shook his head vehemently.

"I'd prefer to be a roguish pirate, love, but you would definitely be a princess." Emma considered as if it was a serious statement.

"I could handle princess, but only if I could sail the high seas with my pirate too."

"That would be a damned, requirement, Swan." Emma smiled at the lingering endearment as they walked into the venue. In the end, Killian didn't win the golden statue, and you'd never seen someone look so joyous at not winning in your life. When Emma asked him why, he looked at her seriously.

"Do you know how much later we'd have to stay if I had won? Too long for my sanity, love." Emma laughed at that and agreed it would be nice to be home sooner.

The next year, though, Killian did win, and the press had been slightly nightmarish, especially for Emma who was six months pregnant with twins. When the babies were born three months later, Killian cut back his schedule drastically, committing to one film each year instead of his previous three. They were still in the public eye, but slowly they receded to a life more normal than either of them had ever dared hope for. And all the while, they were happy and ever so thankful that they hadn't let the fear of what the world might say keep them from their happily ever after.

…..

 _When you hold me in the street_

 _And you kiss me on the dance floor_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours_

 _We keep behind closed doors_

 _Every time I see you, I die a little more_

 _Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls_

 _It'll never be enough_

 _It's obvious you're meant for me_

 _Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly_

 _Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep_

 _But I'll never show it on my face_

 _But we know this, we got a love that is homeless_

 _When you hold me in the street_

 _And you kiss me on the dance floor_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours_

 _When you're with him, do you call his name_

 _Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same?_

 _Would you leave if I was ready to settle down?_

 _Or would you play it safe and stay?_

 _Girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless_

 _When you hold me in the street_

 _And you kiss me on the dance floor_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours_

 _And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby_

 _I don't wanna hide us away_

 _Tell the world about the love we making_

 _I'm living for that day_

 _Someday_

 _Why can't I hold you in the street?_

 _Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_

 _I wish that we could be like that_

 _Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours_

 _Oh, why can't you hold me in the street?_

 _Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_

 _I wish that I could be like that_

 _Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours_

 _Why can't I say that I'm in love?_

 _I wanna shout it from the rooftops_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours_

 _ **Post-Note: Hope you guys liked the story, and thank you so much again to my awesome readers for the prompts. Keep them coming guys, I love exploring these ideas I never would have thought of on my own!**_


	15. Together

_**In the face of a new big bad after everything that's happened in the Underworld, Emma starts to break. Killian calms her. Fluff everywhere but it's a short and sweet fic. Inspired by Ella Eyre's 'Together.'**_

She slammed the door to the bug hard as she headed into their house wracked with a nervous energy that was barely short of manifesting in sparks of crackling magic. One week. One single week was all they'd had before madness had descended upon them again. One week of feeling like things were going to be okay and now this. It filled her with the deepest sense of resentment. _Why did this always happen to them? How could she make it stop?_

"Emma, love, wait." She didn't want to. She had that need to keep moving, keep herself from exploding with all the fear and anger gripping at her gut, but his tone was so patient. It sounded through the air so kind and gentle like it always was with her when she felt this out of control. She stopped in her tracks on the porch and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She felt him behind her and he placed his hand on her arm.

"This is our forever isn't it?" Her voice cracked with the realization. She felt gutted with the crashing reality that she should have known would always happen. She'd gone through hell to save him, battled countless demons but in the end she'd brought him back to this crazy mess of a life where they were always fighting just to live, just for moments. He deserved more than that.

"Stop." The gentle command had her looking up at him curiously. In his eyes she saw that fierce forever love that he had for her, it's warmth ebbed away some of her tensions, but not all of it.

"I'm so sorry." In seconds he had wrapped her tightly in his embrace and she used the firmness of his chest to try and center herself. She really didn't want to cry, but the floodgates were open. She couldn't stop hurting him, why couldn't she let him go?

"Stop thinking that rubbish, Emma. That's just what it is nonsense. I love you. I will always love you and you will always be enough for me. I would face a different monster every day for the rest of my days if it meant I could stand by your side." His words clutched at her heart and were the final straw. The tears started as she held onto him tighter.

"I know, but you didn't sign up for this." He pulled back, forcing her to look in his eyes as he spoke very barely restraining his own emotion.

"I bloody well did, love. I will choose you every damn time. Loving you is the greatest thing I will over do, Emma. Can't you see that? You saved me from the darkness more than once and you brought me back to life in more ways than one. As for this," he motioned around to the house and yard around them, "It's the only life I want. The one with you at my side, as my wife, someday maybe as the mother of my children. I think we might like making more siblings for Henry."

Emma felt her tummy flutter at the mention of more kids. She wanted that too, so much, but they'd never really spoken of it, never really had the chance to. She watched as his intensity wavered back into the soft lightness that his presence had largely become for her.

"I want to grow old with you Emma Swan, something I've never gotten to do, despite your continued teasing. I want to wake up every day by your side. If we're fighting villains so be it, anything is worth being with you."

"I love you." She whispered and he wiped away the last of her tears with his thumb.

"And I you, love. Always." She kissed him then, throwing all the rest of her pent up emotions in the kiss. The roar of her blood in her ears outweighed all the rest of her surroundings as she clung to him, trying so very hard to show him just what he meant to her.

"Um, Emma?" He whispered against her lips when he finally pulled back.

"Yeah?" She sounded breathless and couldn't help but smile at him.

"Did you purposely orchestrate the change in venue?" She looked around and noted that they were standing at one of the coves along the Storybrooke beach. This past week, she and Killian had taken an afternoon away and come here. It had been perfect, mild weather, the sun shining down, her true love, and grilled cheese all in one place. She thought back to how perfectly happy she'd felt and stored the good feeling inside for when the worry and anger of before would no doubt come back.

"No, I definitely did not do that." His smug grin made an appearance and she knew he was thinking about where the cute PG picnic had led to (which was a very not PG display on the blanket she'd brought with them that day).

"Is this your happy place now, Emma?" He asked sincerely. She shook her head and pressed her hand to his chest, right above his heart.

"Anywhere that we're together is my happy place." He scratched at his ear in that adorable way again and she smiled at her cute, embarrassed pirate.

"We should get back." She pulled him back in for another kiss and when they pulled apart they had returned to the porch just as they had been. He marveled at the strong display of her white magic as he always did and then dazzled her with that roguish smile.

"I think perhaps we should make a habit of that particular trip, Swan." She laughed, and with that, he led her inside their house to form a course of action for this latest bought of evil. They eventually conquered it, as they did all the ones that followed and there was no denying that their two hearts were stronger together than they could ever be apart.

…

 _Many times it's been all been said and done_ _  
_ _In the end it's the fight that's just begun_ _  
_ _Understand that it's days like these_ _  
_ _When the world is so hard to please_ _  
_ _It knew my heart has find a home_ __

 _It's not about me_ _  
_ _It's not about who I want to be_ _  
_ _It's not about you_ _  
_ _You know that we are better off as two_ __

 _Because we are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _We are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _Together (It's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together_ __

 _  
_ _These games they will always end the same_ _  
_ _Neither you or I will take the blame_ _  
_ _Sometimes we've gone too far_ _  
_ _I like the way we are_ _  
_ _Right here I give your heart a home_ __

 _It's not about me_ _  
_ _It's not about who I want to be_ _  
_ _It's not about you_ _  
_ _You know that we are better off as two_ __

 _Because we are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _We are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _Together (It's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together_ __

 _It's not about me_ _  
_ _It's not about who I want to be_ _  
_ _It's not about you_ _  
_ _You know that we are better off as two_ __

 _Because we are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _We are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _Together (It's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together_ __

 _Because we are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _We are, we are, we are, we are born_ _  
_ _Together (It's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right, all right)_ _  
_ _It's all right (it's all right)_ _  
_ _Together_

 _ **Post Note: Hey all! This is a short little ficlet but wanted to get something out there today and I truly love this song. If you haven't heard the rest of Ella Eyre's stuff, do yourself a favor and listen. Truly magical. Also want to thank you all for the continued great suggestions for songs. I am always taking requests for this series and for others so feel free to reach out anytime!**_


	16. Droplets

_**Emma and Killian get into a huge fight in the middle of a rainstorm. She's trying to run and he follows. Inspired by "Droplets" by Colbie Caillat and countless books/movies/TVShows with this trope in it.**_

The storm was worse than she'd thought, rain pouring down from the sky, thunder rumbling above and the occasional crack of lightning lighting up the night. The natural chaos mirrored her own feelings, and part of her wondered if maybe her own fear had summoned this storm, had brought it to Storybrooke. Walking into it, feeling the beat of the droplets and the wind against her skin, whipping at her long hair, seemed to anchor her to this miserable feeling swirling in her gut. It had been growing and compounding since she'd left Killian at Granny's just a moment ago and it clung to her if she didn't try to move through it. She walked quickly down the street, knowing she could use her magic, knowing she could be anywhere in one swift poof, but opting to feel something other than the panic boiling inside of her.

They'd argued about the future. She needed promises and assurances that he was going to stay out of danger, away from the fray of fighting that would no doubt come again. He'd died for her like three times at this point. For her sake he needed to just stop – just be alive and not someone she could lose. She thought back to his replies, so incredibly him and so infuriating.

" _I stand by your side, Swan. You can't ask me to watch as you face danger, it's not an option."_

" _It's the_ only _option, Killian. We just went to Hell to get you back, think we'd make it back there a second time with the way we left things?"_

" _Well I don't intend on dying again, and seeing as we share the same heart, I'd like to see that you don't die either. If you're on a crusade to keep me safe then you too would need to stay out of the line of fire."_

" _That's not possible Killian, I'm the Savior. This is my life."_

" _No it's our life."_

" _NO! No it is not, your life. You did not come back from the dead to enjoy another episode of Emma Swan and company gets Killian killed!"_

She'd run out after that, feeling like fire or ice was going to shoot out of her fingertips at any moment. She was out of control like she hadn't been in a very long time. He just wanted to protect her, to love her and she was so terrified that loving her was what kept getting him hurt. Emma wanted to be greedy, to have him forever, but she had to take certain precautions. She had to keep _him_ safe for her own sake.

"Are we just walking aimlessly through the storm all night, Emma? Or do you have a destination in mind?" Spinning around she saw him there, water clinging to him. He was holding his jacket and the thought occurred to her that he'd only brought it for her since she had stormed out before she could grab hers. He was standing there looking like despite the inconvenience he'd be happy to follow her on a walking tour of the whole state in this weather as long as he was with her.

"Killian I can't-" He closed the space between them and took her hand in his.

"You can't bear to lose me again, Emma I know. I know and that's fair, but I can't play on the sidelines in your life. I need all of you, as you have all of me." The gruffness of his voice and the meaning of his words made her feel hot, as if the raindrops sliding against her skin might steam away.

"You do have all of me." He shook his head.

"Not if when the darkness comes calling again you don't trust me to protect you, protect your family."

"I do. I trust you to do whatever it takes, even sacrifice yourself and I can't let you. I won't."

"It may not come to that again, Swan. And if it did, maybe it's someone else's turn to step up." His attempt at a joke fell flat and she couldn't hold back the truth anymore.

"It hurts too much to lose you. I'm not strong enough. I love you too much to do it again." She couldn't look in his eyes to say it.

"Aye love I know. It hurts just as much losing you." She pulled back a step, thinking that there was regret in his tone and started down the street more.

"I can do this all night, hell I can and will do this for the rest of my life. Following where you run, but I am not letting you go. I'm not letting fear keep me from the woman I love when we could have happiness in its place!" His yell from behind her made her stop and though he was growing frustrated, the words calmed her. He would always find her, he'd run with her if she asked him, she wasn't alone. He was in this forever, and so was she, fear be damned.

She turned around and he was just a step away, one she quickly took, pulling him down by the collar for a kiss. She'd never been the type of girl to want the sappy movie scene. She'd always thought a kiss in the rain a bit too dramatic, but right now she thought it was incredibly hot. They kissed through thunder and lightning and wind and when she pulled back she felt heated all over again from the look in his eyes. His hand came up, to move a lock of hair away from her face that was plastered there from the rain and she felt a shiver course through her.

"A bit chilled love?" she shook her head.

"But I will be if we don't get inside." He extended his hand.

"Let's go home, Emma." She took it, and they walked silently through the abandoned streets of the town back to the house with the view of the sea.

….

 _I'm leaving you_

 _I'm not sure if that's what I should do_

 _It hurts so bad_

 _I'm wanting you but can't go back_

 _Trying to find, to find_

 _That all elusive piece of mind_

 _Stuck here somehow_

 _Shrouded beneath my fear and doubt_

 _And I don't need it_

 _Cause I'm walkin down this road alone_

 _And figured all I'm thinking bout is you, is you my love_

 _And my head is in a cloud of rain_

 _And the world it seems so far away_

 _And I'm just waiting for_

 _The droplets, droplets_

 _You left a mark_

 _I wear it proudly on my chest_

 _Above my heart_

 _To remind me that I feel the best_

 _When I'm with you_

 _Everything is effortless_

 _You know it's true_

 _My eyes are painted with regret and I don't need it_

 _Cause I'm walkin down this road alone_

 _And figured all I'm thinking bout is you, is you my love_

 _And my head is in a cloud of rain_

 _And the world it seems so far away_

 _And I'm just waiting for_

 _The droplets, droplets_

 _You are like raindrops, the raindrops falling down on me_

 _You left a mark (you left a mark)_

 _She left a mark (he left)_

 _She left (he left)_

 _She left a mark_

 _And I don't know (I don't)_

 _Need it (Need it)_

 _ **Post-Note: Needed a rain fight already, it was actually surprising that it took so many of these stories before I got to this. Always one of my favorite tropes. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed and you like this song that has always been one of my favorites!**_


	17. Drink You Away

_**AU where Killian and Emma have been best friends for a long time. Emma is dating Walsh and Walsh tells Killian his plan to ask Emma to marry him. Killian doesn't hear from Emma an after hour the date and starts drinking at the bar down the street from his apartment. Emma comes and finds him and… Inspired by 'Drink You Away' by Justin Timberlake. Rated M as hell, amigas.**_

"Another." Killian slammed his glass down and gave the bartender in front of him a glare. Clearly the man was afraid of him, as anyone should be. Killian couldn't remember the last time he felt this raw, this out of control, but the thought of Emma, _his_ Emma, marrying another man set him feeling downright villainous. He knew he'd never be able to drink away the feeling of loss that clawed at his gut, but he was damn well going to try.

He thought back to an hour ago, when he'd been walking out of his apartment building to find none other than Walsh, the man intending to make Emma his bride. Walsh had always bothered Killian, something was just off about him. But he treated Emma well, and he seemed to make her happy with his flashy gifts and lavish lifestyle.

 _I'd give her the entire world, if she only wanted me._ Killian downed the refilled rum in front of him with that thought in his mind and closed his eyes. Despite his third drink in about ten minutes he was still consumed with thoughts of Emma. Her golden hair, her bright green eyes, the knowing smile that came when she thought she'd outsmarted him. She was the whole package, the love of his life, and he'd been too chicken shit to say anything.

Well that wasn't exactly true. He'd tried to tell her, once, and just as he'd been about to make his grand admission, she'd told him that Walsh had asked her for a date. He'd seen this look in her eyes, as if she wanted his permission and he'd crumbled, caving to the pressure of making her happy and told her to go for it. The thought that he'd told her to move away from him and into another man's arms was largely what was driving him to drink too. He was about to put another glass to his lips when he felt a hard hit on his arm.

"Bloody hell, what the –" The words caught in his throat as he saw Emma standing next to him. A very angry, yet incredibly beautiful Emma.

"You are so infuriating! Why don't you have a normal bar? And why, if you don't have a normal bar, would you pass five possible bars to sit in this one?!" He felt his eyebrows knit together giving away his confusion.

"I fail to see how my bar habits are cause for fury."

"Well if you checked your phone every once in a while, you'd see I've been trying to call you for thirty minutes." He pulled the offending bit of tech out of his pocket and slammed it on the table, showing her the broken screen that could make out nothing.

"If you've come to tell me of your engagement, Swan, I already know and wish you all the happiness in the world." He couldn't look at her as he said it, his voice too clogged with emotion.

"You are such a fucking idiot. You think I would say yes to Walsh?!" The words hit him in the chest and lit a hope he couldn't begin to tamper down but he watched as Emma grew madder.

"So you didn't say yes?" Emma threw her hands in the air and let out a groan and then turned and walked out of the bar. Killian was amazed at the outburst and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'd go after that one," the man in the stool on his other side said. Killian pulled out a fifty and dropped it on the counter.

"No need to tell me that." Killian moved out of the bar quickly trying to find Emma and seeing her standing on the curb trying to hail a cab.

"Emma look at me." She huffed but didn't turn, merely waving her hand at the empty street trying to will a cab. "Think by some magic you can summon a cab?" She threw him a glare and started on foot down the street and he followed behind.

"Why are you angry with me, Swan? I haven't done anything." She swung around to face him and again he was taken by just how beautiful she looked when mad.

"That's exactly it. You haven't done _anything_! I've been waiting for you to make a move since we met and somehow I ended up being best friends with the man I'm in love with and he has no idea! In fact, he tells the schmuck I was dating to propose. So you can imagine my frustration-" He'd heard all he needed to, he pulled her to his chest and gave her the kiss he'd been wanting for years. He channeled everything into it and she gave back just as much. Killian hated to pull away, but there was more to be said.

"Emma Swan, I love you to the end of time and space." She broke out into a smile at that and he chuckled low as he played with a lock of her golden hair. "That sounded dorky, so I'll try again. I love you, Emma, and if you would only give me the chance, I'd like to spend each and every day proving it to you."

"There, was that so hard?" Before he could answer, she was pulling him down to her by the collar for another kiss.

"No love it wasn't." Taking her hand in his he kissed it gently.

"Take me home, Killian."

"As you wish, love." In no time at all, they were back in his apartment and before his eyes, he watched the woman he love strip free of the black dress she'd been wearing and stand in front of him in nothing but matching black lace.

"Tell me this is real, Emma, and not some rum fueled haze turned lovely dream." She came forward and worked on the buttons of his shirt, taking care to press against his chest. When it was gone, she traced a hand over the contour of his muscles, down his abdomen to the button of his pants. He was achingly hard for her and barely holding it together.

"Does it feel real?" The breathiness in her words and the darkening of her eyes told him that she was feeling this with him beat for beat. He felt like his heart might pound out of his chest, and his mind was racing with all the ways he wanted to taste her, to please her, to make her scream his name.

"What I feel for you is the realest thing in my life." Her eyes softened at the confession and she placed a gentle kiss to his lips that he used to his advantage, maneuvering her to the bed and removing the rest of his clothes with haste. He watched her gaze roam over her body, saw the flush break out against her creamy flesh telling of her desire.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Swan. Always have been." He kissed her mouth then tore away, kissing her jaw, moving to her neck and down the valley of her breasts. Once there, he unclasped the front opening of her bra and she readily shucked off the garment. He rewarded her eagerness with kisses, nips and sucks timed perfectly against her sensitive nipples until she was writhing beneath him.

"Killian, please."

"I've been waiting too long for this, Emma. I need it just so." His fingers were at the seam of her panties, now soaked with her desire and she grinned at her before kissing her mouth again. "You're so wet for me Emma."

"Always," the whispered confession set him growling and as he worked her clit with his thumb, he inserted a finger and then another, working her tight core to a release she was all too primed for. Watching her orgasm stole his breath away, and all he could think was that he wanted to that again, immediately. As she was regaining herself, he kissed down her body to her waiting heat. She was transfixed and when he pulled her clit into his mouth she was moaning and singing out a litany of curse words that would make any sailor proud.

"Fuck, Killian, just like that! A little lower. God so good, you're so good." He hummed against her and the vibration caused her to shatter again filling him with pride. When her shaking stopped, he took a long swipe again with his tongue and watched her shiver.

"I can't, Killian." 

"You will, love. Let me love you." This time was slower, a more meticulous perusal that left her panting the length of a slow build until his fingers joined the fray and she was catapulted again. This time, he kissed his way back up her body, taking care to brand a not so subtle path up her stomach, past her breasts.

"Marking your territory?" She joked, even now when she was sated and barely moving, she joked.

"Leaving a trail to find the spots that drive you particularly crazy, love." She blushed again and he kissed her gently.

"Killian, I love you, really I do, but no more slow. Anymore slow and I might kill you." He chuckled low but headed her request, entering her swiftly and watching her green eyes go wide with the feel of it. She was tight, hot, wet, and felt made for him. Or perhaps it was he who was made for her. He could surely believe it, since all he could think was that her pleasure was paramount. Killian set the pace fast and hard as she'd wanted until she was calling out his name through another earth shattering climax. This time he followed.

They lay there, bodies intertwined for a long time, taking the moment between them to luxuriate in the feel that this was real, and they were happening.

"I feel it only gentlemanly to warn you that I never plan to let you go, Emma Swan." She sighed happily and curled into his chest.

"I don't intend to ever leave."

Both lived up to their good intentions too and this love, that had started out somewhat on the rocks, came to flourish and grow into a beautiful life together.

….

 _Bitter sweet thing, could this be a dream  
Or just the same nightmare that keeps me awake  
Feel it in my brain, toss out of pain  
Pour a little up now, for the love that we made_

 _I feel it in the morning, you're still here in the morning  
I see you, but you gone telephone the doctor, I'm not okay  
The bottom of the bottle, to fill this empty heart up  
A thousand proof don't change the truth  
I tried it, but I can't_

 _I can't drink you away  
I've tried Jack, I've tried Jim  
I've tried all of them in  
I can't drink you away  
All these rocks, I can't swim out of this skin, oh baby them say  
Now tell me, baby, don't they make a medicine for heart break  
Ooh, no, tell me baby, oh yeah  
Now don't they make a medicine for heart break_

 _Got a pounding on my brain, so I drowned it away  
When the sun comes up tomorrow  
You can find me doing the same  
'Cause I just can't forget  
The way we turned out this way  
And now the only thing that sleeps here is a ghost of you instead_

 _I feel it in the morning, you're still here in the morning  
I see you, but you gone telephone the doctor, I'm not okay  
The bottom of the bottle, to fill this empty heart up  
A thousand proof don't change the truth  
I tried it, but I can't_

 _I can't drink you away  
I've tried Jack, I've tried Jim  
I've tried all of them in  
I can't drink you away  
All these rocks, I can't swim out of this skin, oh baby them say  
Now tell me, baby, don't they make a medicine for heart break  
Ooh, no, tell me baby, oh yeah  
Now don't they make a medicine for heart break_

 _I can't drink you, no I can't drink you away, away  
I can't drink you, no I can't drink you away, away  
I can't drink you, no I can't drink you away, away  
I can't drink you, no I can't drink you away, away, away_

 _Ooh, I can't drink you, I can't drink you away_

 _I can't drink you away  
I've tried Jack, I've tried Jim,  
I've tried all of them in  
I can't drink you away  
All these rocks, I can't swim out of this skin, oh baby them say  
Now tell me, baby, don't they make a medicine for heart break  
Ooh, no, tell me baby, oh yeah  
Now don't they make a medicine for heart break_

 _I can't drink you away  
I've tried Jack, I've tried Jim  
I've tried all of them in  
I can't drink you away  
All these rocks, I can't swim out of this skin, oh baby them say_

 _ **Post Note: Do I need to keep explaining my thoughts on this stuff, or do you guys get at this point how resolutely I reside in a land of fluff and smut? Anyways, less than a week until the hiatus is over. Pain is coming, friends, then hopefully happiness, but we know how the writer's love to kill us as they give us what we want. I just do the latter. Hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	18. After Tonight

_**Emma and Killian go stargazing on a date post-Underworld. Fluff and smut forever and ever. Inspired by "After Tonight" by Justin Nozuka.**_

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Emma hated to question Killian's instincts, but they'd been walking through the dark of the woods on the edge of town for near twenty minutes. If this had been one of those days where some forces of evil were at play and they were tracking it, that would be one thing, but this was date night, and Emma had grown accustomed to candle lit dinners and sailing and horseback riding.

"Just a bit of patience, Swan. Trust me." She did, that was why she was here. At least it was mild out and the lanterns they'd brought were bright enough to light the way.

"If you'd just tell me where we are going I could use my magic."

"We'll enjoy it more when we've worked a bit for it." Emma huffed. Work was not exactly the word she wanted to be associating with a date, but then her negative thoughts flew out of her head as Killian came to stop at an opening in the tree line. Before them lay a wide field filled with green grass and patches of yellow flowers. Upon closer inspection her breath caught.

"Buttercups." Killian bent low to pick one up and hand it to her. Emma took it eagerly, twirling the small flower around between her thumbs and loving the way the light of the lanterns and the pale glow of the moon made the bright yellow softer. The whole forest seemed out of – well there it was again, a fairytale. Even here in her world, Killian managed to find things that made her feel like anything was possible.

"Come with me." He took her by the hand and led her to the center of the field then produced a soft blanket from the knapsack he'd been carrying. She followed his lead and lay down and stared up at what had to be one of the most breathtaking sights she'd ever seen. Millions of stars twinkled back from the inky black sky.

"Wow." There wasn't anything else to say in the face of such natural beauty.

"The stars have a calming effect rivaled only by you and the sea for me, Swan." She squeezed his hand, loving that he was sharing this with her. Across the sky she watched a shooting star, and then another.

"You did your research. A meteor shower, and everything."

"I had a little help from Henry on tracking that with that blasted computer." Emma laughed at that.

"It's really beautiful."

"Aye, beautiful." Something about the tone of his voice prompted Emma to look at him and she saw that he wasn't watching the stars, he was looking at her. In his eyes there was the same wonder she thought she was likely wearing in the face of the stars. Since they'd gotten back from the Underworld, she'd seen that look more and more and each time it set her heart fluttering. She felt like she needed a moment – to catch her breath and keep her from throwing herself at him here in the middle of the woods she looked back at the sky.

"We're so miniscule." Killian chuckled at her strange comment, but as always he seemed to understand her, even before she did.

"We are but one small corner of a very large universe. But there's no other corner I'd rather be in than here with you." There he went again with that sweet sincerity.

"I used to wish on the first star every night when I was little." The words were out of her mouth before she could think the better of it. She never liked talking about her childhood, but with him it seemed to come up more than it ever had before. Emma wanted him to know her. It was only fair that he should when she wanted to know everything about him. He waited for her to go on and she did.

"The wish was always the same – for a family who loved me and wanted me."

"I'm sorry it took so long for you to find that, love." She closed her eyes at the words. Of course he didn't need to apologize, but hearing the words, knowing that he believed it hadn't been fair either made her feel validated. She didn't like to think of herself as a victim, but she'd missed out on a lot of the joys life has to offer kids who are loved.

"If you'd asked me a couple of years ago if I would change that, I'd have said yes. Now, I know that it was what I had to go through to have Henry and to find you." She looked back into his eyes and he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"No need to wish on stars anymore, love. Just say the word and I will do anything in my power to give you what you want." He said it with so much conviction she truly believed that if she asked for anything he would give it, no matter the cost.

"Back at you, babe." She watched his smile stiffen a bit and she wanted to ask what was wrong but then he was sitting up and reaching for something in his jacket. She sat up with him instinctively.

"I've been searching for the right time, to ask you this, Emma. Seems speaking of wishes seems as good a time as any. My one wish is that you allow me to love you, forever and always." He pulled out a beautiful ring and Emma's hand flew to cover her mouth. She wanted to hear the rest of his speech before saying yes. "If you say yes, if you grant this wish for me, know that I will never take it for granted. You are my miracle, Emma, my shot at redemption. I will never be able to truly show you what your love means to me, but I will do my best to try. Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Killian, nothing would make me happier." He placed the ring on her finger and she pulled him in for a scorching kiss. Hands roaming, she moved closer to him, wanting the connection until she pulled back slightly to speak against his lips.

"I want more kids." His eyes flashed with a mix of happiness and pride.

"However many you want."

"Three seems good."

"Three it is. Did you want to start that family now?" She squirmed against him.

"Well I'd definitely like to _practice_ tonight. Maybe we can wait for the wedding to start trying for real." He brought his lips back down to hers and showed her his ready agreement to her terms. Before she wanted him to, he pulled back.

"We should get married _soon_." She nodded.

"Really soon. So _so_ soon." He laughed as she pulled him back for more and she laughed against his lips as he clutched her tighter when she used her magic to whoosh them back to their bedroom. Now they were sprawled out on their bed, far more comfortable. With a flick of her wrist, Emma magically locked the door and then pulled Killian down to her to make good on that plan to practice.

….

 _There's something in your eyes  
Is everything alright?  
You look up to the sky  
You long for something more_

 _Darling, give me your right hand  
I think I understand  
Follow me and you will never have to wish again_

 _I know that after tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars_

 _And I know if the love is alright  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no_

 _Tell me how you feel  
And if I'm getting near  
I'll tell you where to stay  
You'll tell me where to steer_

 _D-d-d-darling, way above the clouds  
And high above the stars  
Through the unknown black holes  
No one knows where we are  
But we'll return to earth and do it all over again_

 _'Cause I know that after tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars_

 _And I know if the love is alright  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars_

 _Come away with me  
Come fly away with me  
Just for one night, no one will ever know  
No, no_

 _Darling, I will leave you satisfied  
Forever, past time  
You don't have to hide  
You're free to fly_

 _I know that after tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars_

 _And I know if the love is alright  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars_

 _And I know that after tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You don't have to look up at the stars_

 _And I know if the love is alright  
You don't have to look up at the stars  
No, no, no, no  
I know by the end of tonight  
You'll be looking down upon them from heaven, yeah  
Oh no no oh na na na na na na  
Yeah yeah ooh na na na na_

 _ **Post-Note: Stargazing smut and a fluffy proposal. What could go wrong? NOTHING – that's why I wrote it. We're so close to an enormous amount of pain (because really, these writers no just how to make me hate my life before giving me the most amazing moments), so join me in this little land of denial. We have cute moments, captain swan baby talk and an amazing playlist which everyone should check out. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed and thanks for reading!**_


	19. Maps

_**Emma and Killian take a road trip. Emma will not tell them where they are going, but Killian keeps track on his huge series of maps of America. They wind up going to a bunch of different stops over the course of a couple of weeks and finding a remedy to the horror that was the Underworld in the process. Inspired by the song 'Maps' by Hey! Ocean.**_

As the music played through the speakers of the bug, Emma focused on the large expanse of highway before them. She knew this wasn't Killian's favorite mode of transportation, but if the look of intrigue on his face was anything to go off of, he was getting used to it. She'd even handed over reign of the radio and he had an interesting mix of oldies rock and classic standards coursing through the car at any given moment. She didn't care. He was safe and had made it home and that was all she had wanted for so long.

"Still set on never telling me where we're headed, Swan?" Emma nodded. Something about needing to see him facing a good surprise. Things over the past few weeks had been nearly unbearable, and Killian had been trapped far longer in that hell than she had. What they needed was a clean break, not forever, just a two weeks window where they could find the calm after the storm. They needed to be anywhere but the little town in Maine that had become a beacon for dark forces.

"Even if I told you where we were going, you wouldn't have any idea what I was talking about." And then he did it - he surprised her. Pulling out the backpack she'd seen Henry hand him the night before, he burrowed inside before pulling out tour book after tour book. So many in fact, that Emma had to wonder if the bag was enchanted to fit more than it seemed to hold.

"Okay so you did you and Henry did your research." Killian nodded with a smile.

"Best to be prepared. I might have to save you from something called a trolley which by all accounts is a slower moving car that fits more people." Emma laughed at that, she couldn't help herself.

"It's like if you mixed a train and a bus." Killian shook his head as if she was crazy and switched to a new song and then took one of her hands in his. She was more than capable of driving with one hand on the wheel, and she felt herself luxuriating in the fact that they were together, off on an adventure that for once wasn't a matter of life and death.

The two weeks flew by as they made their way to many places she herself had never seen. Emma was going for variety, trying to cram as many experiences into the two weeks as she could, since soon they'd be back in their little Storybrooke bubble again.

Early in the week they hit Hershey Pennsylvania, where Killian consumed so much chocolate Emma thought it very likely he might die, this time of a sugar overload. There was no reasoning with him about it though, and they spent most of the day going through the fake tour for kids until she could finally drag him back to the hotel and remind him that there were more adult activities that would be far more fun.

They hit a couple of National Parks, where Killian kept approaching random forest rangers asking them if grizzly bears were as fearsome as his guidebooks warned. Killian was so fixated on the bears that Emma finally took him to a bear sanctuary in Virginia. She half expected him to be underwhelmed in the face of the actual animals, but it was quite the opposite. Apparently the life of a pirate on the open seas did not expose one to grizzlies and he found them 'quite majestic.' Emma had gotten some pretty stellar video reactions that she planned to show everyone when they got back home. How Killian would live down this childlike obsession with the animals she didn't know, but it was certainly entertaining.

Emma herself had never been to Washington DC and felt it likely time she see it. Aside from the cherry blossoms, though, she was pretty underwhelmed. Not Killian though. Between a harbor filled with naval ships and his first experience on a double decker tour bus, he was joyous, which in turn made Emma happy.

She debated taking him to Disney World, if only to watch his jaw drop at the depictions of all of them there, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Henry would be devastated if he missed that, and rightly so. It promised to be one of the funnier moments any person could witness, so Emma put that on a list of places to go down the line. Instead they stuck to the coast, spending a lot of time near the ocean, watching once stormy gray waters change to blue and shimmering greens.

A few days they rented out sailboats or spent lazy days on the beach. After the clammy, musty feel of death that had clung all around in the Underworld, the sun felt like the best medicine, and they were lucky enough to have perfect weather.

One night, she and Killian went to dinner at a local bar, only to find that it was a karaoke night. Once Emma explained what that was to Killian he was fascinated. He only knew one modern song by heart, and the reason was that despite the state, it seemed to be on every oldies station in the country. So Emma again found herself reaching for the camera on her phone to send Henry and her parents Killian's colorful take on 'Livin on a Prayer.' The phone calls she received in response were priceless, but not as priceless as the rowdy round of applause Killian got when he was done singing. Every drink they'd had for the rest of the night had been on the house.

Every day of the trip Emma felt the emotional toil of her time in the Underworld lessen, but it was strange to her that Killian had seemed to do so much faster than she did. In a matter of days the dark circles beneath his eyes were gone, the strains of emotion that had plagued his person softened and he seemed his old self again. Seeing him improving, Emma finally felt like maybe she deserved to as well.

"Where to next?" Killian asked as they were making their way back up the eastern seaboard. He'd drawn their exact path on a map of the US that Henry and he had packed and Emma was impressed with just how much ground they'd covered.

"You tell me, Captain. What do the guidebooks say?" She was teasing him and the responding look in his eyes said that she was playing with fire. She loved it.

"Nothing important." With that he chucked the guidebook and map in the back of the bug, but with the open window in the back sucking air out, the map was caught in a surge of wind. It flew out of the car and out behind them on the expanse of highway.

"Oh shit, Killian I'm sorry!" She couldn't explain the worry that was coursing through her. All she knew was that he hadn't neglected that map during any part of their trip and had been planning for their best way home. She hated that his work was for nothing. She pulled the car into a rest stop just ahead.

"Emma, love, look at me." She did just that now that the car was parked, and in his eyes she saw all the love in the world. Instantly she was calmed, returning to that happy fuzzy warmth of life on vacation. "I don't need a map to tell me where I want to be."

"You don't?" He took her hand in his.

"No. It's always the same place, beside you." She couldn't hold off anymore, pulling him to her for a kiss. She would never understand how despite everything he could still have such light in his heart. He was so good for her and to her, and he was right, because she wanted to be with him too always.

"I love you." He smiled at that before responding with a teasing lilt in his voice.

"I know." Emma shoved at him.

"Henry told you to say that, didn't he?" Killian nodded.

"Said it had to do with that _Star Wars_ movie you're both always referencing. But I do love you, Emma. Surely you know that." She nodded, because there was no doubt in her mind that he absolutely did.

"Marry me." The words were out of her mouth before she could think the better of them, and his response was just as quick.

"That's the hope, love." Her heart skipped a beat as she pulled him back in for another kiss. This time she started to resent having such a small car. She would have liked to see where this could go if she had any space at all to move.

"Let's go home," Killian whispered when they pulled back and Emma nodded. It was time to do just that.

A few days later, when they were back in Storybrooke, Emma debated how to tell everyone what had happened. She knew they would be happy for her and Killian, clearly they were true love and so it was a matter of time, but she needn't have worried. When looking for Killian to have him come tell her family with her, she found a hand-drawn map instead. It set her on a scavenger hunt that hit nearly everywhere in town – Granny's, the docks, the station, the library and so on. Finally she threw the map away and used her magic to appear wherever he was. She'd expected him to look surprised but he wasn't.

"Took you long enough, Swan." Emma huffed in indignation noting that they were on the beach by the edge of town.

"You're the one who sent me on some crazy treasure hunt to find you. I finally had to throw away the map –" Before her Killian bent down to one knee and presented her with a ring.

"Throw away the map with me, Emma. There's nothing I trust more than your instincts. We're a pair outside the lines, outside the realm of expectation. I love you and I always will. Marry me and let me spend every day showing you what beautiful surprises life has in store for us." Emma's eyes had filled with tears and she was about to respond when behind her she heard Henry's voice.

"Say yes, Mom." Henry was standing there with her Dad's arm around his shoulder.

"Yeah, put the pirate out of his misery." Her Dad smiled urging her on and besides him stood her mother who was already crying and holding on to Regina for support. Robin meanwhile looked downright cheerful at the sight of Killian on bended knee and waiting. Belle was there too and Emma thought it was likely out of her new sort of friendship with Killian.

"Choose love, Emma," her mother said. So she did, turning back to Killian she smiled.

"Yes, Killian Jones, I will marry you." He placed the gorgeous ring on her finger and kissed her, not so much as to make her son and Dad uncomfortable, but just enough.

"When do you want to be Mrs. Jones, Emma?"

"How about tomorrow?" Her mother's squeak of indignation caused everyone to start laughing.

"I can't plan a wedding in one day." Emma rolled her eyes as she stood with Killian.

"How long then?" Her mother considered.

"How about a month?"

"A month is an awful long time in Storybrooke," Regina mused and Emma agreed.

"You've got a week." Her mother righted herself, straightening her posture and patting down the clothes she wore.

"I can work with that. But we'll have to start now." With that Mary Margaret was corralling everyone to help with things and Emma whispered low to Killian.

"Want to try a new adventure?"

"What did you have in mind, Swan?" Then she used her magic to whoosh them away back to their bedroom and laughed against his chest.

"It's called avoid my mother's planning at all costs for the next week."

"Now there's a plan I can get behind." They were successful in that too and a week later, everything went according to plan. The ceremony was beautiful and Emma felt like a princess really and truly. That wasn't to say that trouble never found their happy little bubble. Quite the opposite, but hey, they were a duo built for adventure. Even without a map, they had their love to guide them, and it never ever failed them.

…

 _You drew a map so we'd remember_ _  
_ _All the places that we went to_ _  
_ _and although we never meant to we lost it on our way_ __

 _You drew a map so we'd remember_ _  
_ _how to get back to the highway_ _  
_ _But instead we followed moonlight and were completely lead astray_ __

 _We have traveled this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _we will keep on following the dotted lines_ _  
_ _till we find a better place_ __

 _We took a trail down to the beach where_ _  
_ _We heard the music play before_ _  
_ _the fires they when on forever_ _  
_ _Tike flaming jewels upon the shore_ __

 _We sat there soaking up the starlight_ _  
_ _and sang along to every song_ _  
_ _though we didn't know the words_ _  
_ _we made them up as we went along_ __

 _We have traveled this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _we will keep on following the dotted lines_ _  
_ _Till we find a better place_

 _We have traveled this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _we will keep on following the dotted lines_ _  
_ _Till we find a better place_ __

 _You drew a map so we'd remember_ _  
_ _All the places that we went to_ _  
_ _and although we never meant to we lost it on our way_ __

 _We have traveled this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _we will keep on following the dotted lines_ _  
_ _Till we find a better place_ __

 _We have traveled this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _we will keep on following the dotted lines_ __

 _We have traveled this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _We will travel this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _We have traveled this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _We will travel this way, all of our days_ _  
_ _All of our days._

_**Post-Note: I know this makes two stories from me in one day – gasp! But I wanted more fluff because I know the pain coming for me tomorrow. I have another chapter of this CS Mixtape planned to publish tomorrow night before the episode. It will likewise be fluffy as hell to hopefully ease the angst fest in store. Hope you guys enjoyed, and you should check out this song and this band! They are great!**_


	20. Lick My Lips

_**Ridiculously fluffy and a little smutty about Emma eating her ice cream with Killian and the rest of the extended family. Post Underworld, zero angst, just what the doctor ordered on the night hiatus ends. Inspired by "Lick My Lips" by Katharine McPhee.**_

"The world is a better place in the summer. It becomes socially acceptable to have ice cream every day, again."

Emma couldn't help but find her mother's words to be particularly true. They stood in line at the ice cream shop, which though slightly reminiscent of a certain Snow Queen, had been under new management for some time and given a bit of redecorating. There was also no fear that someone would lose their memories or fall into a sleeping curse thanks to the sweet treats.

"What will it be, Swan? The usual or a bit of risk?"

Killian's whispered question from behind her set a shudder coursing through Emma. He had this ability to kick her senses into overdrive with the feel of his warm breath against her skin and the gravel of his voice with that playful tone she loved. And he challenged her, taking something as simple as what flavor of ice cream she wanted and making it higher stakes. It made her feel more alive, more energized when he did that – and it also really turned her on.

"And what can I get for you, Emma? Rocky Road?" The server behind the counter smiled at Emma, who had blatantly missed everyone else's order. She knew that if she looked over her shoulder, Killian would be grinning and she bit her lip to keep from laughing herself.

"Actually I think I'll try the flavor of the month." Emma ignored the surprised glances from the rest of her family and happily accepted the cone of peanut butter cookies and cream. This was absolutely not what her usual fare would be, but she was up for the challenge. Just as Emma was about to taste it, Killian spoke again.

"Funny thing about ice cream, Swan. The flavor lingers for a while after. Have you noticed that?" Jesus they were with her family, and though the wording was innocent enough, his tone definitely was not PG material. She was damned near fanning herself.

"Can't say I have," Emma replied breathily. Killian reached past her to get his cone careful to brush against her slightly and smiled lazily at her.

"Perhaps you will this time."

Emma couldn't decide if she wanted to drag him out of the store and yell at him for teasing her when there was nothing they could do about it, or kiss him to turn the tables. She opted instead to let him lead her to the table where her family sat. His playfulness could be dealt with later.

"Something wrong with your ice cream, Emma?" David asked a little while later.

Her father's question caused Emma to shake her head and look down so no one would see her blush. She tasted it and found she rather liked it. Unconscious of any possible problem in doing so, Emma licked at the ice cream as her family happily talked of everything they hoped to do this summer. Then Killian was whispering in her ear again, and she froze mid swipe.

"If you're trying to drive me mad out of some sort of revenge, you're doing a bloody good job of it, Swan."

Emma smirked at that confession and took care to savor the treat just a little more slowly. Nothing racy, hell she was with her kid after all, but if Killian was going to get all bent out of shape over it, she could enjoy that as she partook in the melting treat.

"What can I say, I _love_ ice cream."

Emma licked at her lips and watched his eyes track the movement and then, as she watched the heat in his eyes kick into overdrive, she turned away to the rest of the table. That's what he got for messing with her when they couldn't possibly act on it.

"Realistically speaking," her mother began, "How long could the town survive without us?"

"All of us?" Emma asked, looking around the table. Could the town survive five minutes alone with no Charmings watching out for them? No Regina and Robin Hood? No Belle? Hell – no savior and her pirate?

"Yeah. I mean I hear such good things about the Cape. Wouldn't it be nice to get out of town for a little bit?" Snow asked eagerly.

"That sounds lovely." Belle's wistful comment pulled at Emma's heartstrings, and she wished for her friend that they could get out of town, if just for a little bit. Something to take her mind off the reality she'd been faced with over the past few months.

"I haven't been a hero for an exceptionally long time," Killian began, "But I think even the good guys deserve a break now and then."

"Especially those of us who still had to go to school." Henry was nearly finished with the huge sundae he'd managed to swindle and Emma blinked at the comment. He had a point after all.

"I agree, the heroes need reprieve." Robin's chorus insured that Regina was on board and now the table looked to Emma.

"Do you all need my stamp of approval?" Emma asked. She felt Killian's hook playing with a tendril of her hair.

"Undoubtedly, love."

Damn him for that lilt in his already too-attractive voice! The uptick in her heart rate and the slight dizziness that came when she heard it undermined Emma's ability to think of the pitch seriously. She looked around the table and everyone seemed so hopeful. How could she take that away from them? Then she looked at Killian and saw that there was no teasing in his eyes, only a sincere wish to know what she wanted.

"Fine, that actually sounds fun. We'd have to talk to Granny, though. She's the only one I'd trust to leave in charge." The others readily agreed and spoke amongst themselves happily while she felt Killian move his chair just slightly closer to her.

"You are seriously testing the limit today, you know that?" Emma asked and her Captain grinned as a reply.

"Does a limit _really_ exist, love?"

Emma pretended to think about that as she ate more of her ice cream. Then a flash of inspiration struck and she had an idea. For it to work, though, she'd have to be less than an open book – at least to the rest of her family. She pushed away from Killian and the table abruptly and stood up.

"You guys keep planning. I just realized I forgot something." Emma kept her tone even but tried to stress the important nature of this fake errand she had. Her Mother looked concerned.

"Do you need any help?" Emma shook her head.

"No, it has to be me. I'll be back soon." With that, Emma took her ice cream cone and headed out of the store and down the street quickly. Once past the brick storefront, she turned into the alley way beside the building and waited. It took all of twenty seconds for her roguish pirate to appear.

"What kind of business could you possibly have in an alley, Swan?"

Killian's tone was genuinely confused and that made the next part all the more fun. Throwing her cone to the ground, and pulling him to her by the leather of his jacket, she closed the space between them and kissed him. It was by no means tame or sweet, but rough and hot, a dueling between the two of them for pleasure and control. Emma felt like she might lose her mind when he growled against her and pushed her against the brick façade. Now caught between the hard stone behind her and him, she wanted more contact, more friction, just more.

"You were right." Emma's comment when they finally pulled apart had Killian blinking at her curiously. She loved him like this, caught between pleasure and serenity and just marginally slower to understand her.

"I often am, love. But pray tell, what was it this time?"

"Ice cream lingers."

Then Emma licked her lips again in front of him, knowing it would bring his lips crashing down to hers in no time at all. She wasn't disappointed when they found their way down to hers, and his hand and hook wandered over her skin, which she wished was more exposed. Out of the corner of her mind, Emma heard the tinkling of the store's bell and then the chatter of her family. She pulled back and whispered to him.

"Be completely silent."

With a flick of Emma's wrist, a cloud of white magic crossed the opening of the alleyway then evaporated. Just then, her family walked by and though Robin and her father looked down the miniature street, Emma and Killian weren't detected. Emma scarcely risked breathing, especially when Regina was passing because the woman knew her magic far better than Emma did, but they all passed with no one the wiser.

Emma looked up at Killian and saw him watching her with a happy sort of wonder. It was the same look he'd given her many times before, but the frequency at which he bestowed it never diluted it's meaning to her. The fluttering of desire within her came back with a vengeance. He was still close enough to kiss her with only the slightest movement forward.

"Well done, Swan. How much longer do you think we have before they grow suspicious?" Emma was going to answer and he surprised her, with his tongue dragging along her bottom lip. "What? Just tasting. I rather liked the favor you chose."

"Fuck it," she said as she pulled him back to her.

This chemistry and love between them was better than whatever else they had in store today, like making the rounds in the sheriff's cruiser or prepping for the next problem that would no doubt come for the town. So for now, Emma let herself get wrapped up in the feel of Killian as a physical reminder that she loved and was loved. It was magical.

In the end, neither of them could be completely sure how long they stayed there for, but Emma was certain of one thing: she was never going to look at ice cream the same way after today.

…

 _Your love, don't need to sugarcoat it  
You make me rush, get me up all night  
And when I taste it I want more than just a little bit  
You fill me up, baby it's alright  
Gorgeous  
Baby come on into my open arms  
Gorgeous  
Every time you need me all my buttons come undone_

 _You make me lick my lips  
You're my favorite flavor  
When we kiss I just wanna savor  
Every drop of it, I can't get enough  
You make me lick my lips, my lips_

 _I'm on top when I'm with you so exciting  
I can't deny, you make me feel so good  
You're my jam, I wanna turn you up louder  
Now let me see what's underneath that hat  
Gorgeous  
Baby come on into my open arms  
Gorgeous  
Any time you need me all my buttons come undone_

 _You make me lick my lips  
You're my favorite flavor  
When we kiss I just wanna savor  
Every drop of it, I can't get enough  
You make me lick my lips, my lips_

 _Baby you're the only one I need  
Won't you come and put your lips on me_

 _You make me lick my lips  
You're my favorite flavor  
When we kiss I just wanna savor  
Every drop of it, I can't get enough  
You make me lick my lips, my lips  
You make me lick my lips  
You're my favorite flavor  
When we kiss I just wanna savor  
Every drop of it, I can't get enough  
You make me lick my lips, my lips_

 _ **Post-Note: Ice cream smuff. I had to guys, there was no other way. The hiatus is essentially over and it's going to be weeks of pain right? Not here it's not. My brain is a wonderful place where angst is non existent and peanut butter cookies and cream ice cream is a real deal savior. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	21. Quicksand

_**A/N: I was not super taken with the Emma/Neal scene in the 100**_ _ **th**_ _ **episode. That is the kindest way I can phrase it. So, as my own sort of response, I decided to rewrite the scene in the Echo Cave and the one right after it from the Neverland arc. When they get out of the cave, Emma tells Neal that there isn't a future there for them. What might have been is only that, a possibility that never came to pass. Then she seeks out Killian. Inspired by the song 'Quicksand' by Madeline Juno, which is a killer song!**_

"I kissed Emma." Emma couldn't help the eye roll at the statement. They were in a cave, where they were supposed to spill their darkest secret and he was making it some sort of joke. And the worst part of that was that the mention of the kiss brought those butterflies back, the same ones that had been there when she'd given in to that wanting and pressed her lips to his.

"You did what?" David was really angry at that, but Mary Margaret reigned him in quickly.

"David, now is not the time."

"I already told Mary Margaret, so technically it's not a secret. But it was just a kiss. How's that your darkest secret?" She couldn't explain the zing that coursed through her at saying it was just a kiss. The question caught in her throat and she looked at him, really looked into his eyes and saw the raw emotion there.

"It's what the kiss exposed. My secret is, I never thought I'd be capable of letting go of my first love – of my Milah – to believe that I could find someone else. That is until I met you."

In the moment between the words leaving his mouth and the ground shaking between them, Emma had felt like the entire universe was spinning into chaos. She kept stone faced, clutching at her walls to keep them up, to keep her feelings guarded, but that was the thing about Killian. He made her _feel_. Despite all the crap here in Neverland, the mind games and the constant worrying about Henry, Killian had this way of making her smile, or keeping her calm. There was something about him that was pulling at her and she was trying like hell to fight against it.

Needing to stay strong against a man who could break through, Emma stayed quiet. Look what had happened when she'd let someone in the first time. Neal was sitting there in a cage across this god-forsaken cavern looking at her like there was a chance for them and she couldn't see anything more than lies and wasted potential. She was so angry at Neal, and so beyond terrified of Killian, but she stayed on task. Henry needed her to be clear headed. Henry had to be her priority.

Her parents spoke their awful truths and heaped a world of hurt into her swirling current of internal emotions. Her mother wanted another kid, just like everyone else had when she was a little girl, when she'd been craving a home. She wasn't going to lie and pretend it was fine, because it wasn't. She deserved better, but this was what she had, and she had to hold onto the fact that this life – this timeline of events - was what had brought her Henry. She'd do it all again if only for him.

And David – her father saying that he couldn't ever leave. It was unimaginable. Her parents were so ridiculously in love, they fought for each other all the time, never letting go, even when it had meant leaving her behind, and now there was no chance for them. Watching it happen, watching the truth unravel in front of them helped her put the wall back up, steeling herself against the idea that love could really win out.

She looked at Hook before going to see Neal, and tried to be brave but each step towards her past had her feeling like she was going to hurl or scream or something. She didn't want to speak her truth, because the truth was that he'd hurt her. No, Neal had _destroyed_ her, and she'd been left to pick up the pieces, something she still hadn't fully done. But the cave demanded the truth, and so she gave it to him. She loved him – there was a part of her that always would, but she wished he was gone so she could move forward. The plan was to move on, and looking in his eyes, saying the words out loud, and knowing in the back of her mind that Hook had felt the same spark that she did, Emma felt for the first time like that was possible. She didn't say that though. That was a truth she couldn't speak for now.

When they finally exited the cave, Emma kept Neal back, to talk about what she'd said, to clarify.

"I wish I could change how I feel, more than anything but…" Okay maybe this was an exaggeration, but she could be kind for Neal. He was Henry's Dad after all "I can't I'm sorry."

"Don't be. After everything I put you through you don't ever have to apologize to me about how you feel. I'm glad you told me. I have a secret too, Emma. I'm never going to stop fighting for you. Never." Emma looked at him and realized that kindness wasn't going to work. She shook her head.

"Neal, what we had is in the past. You want to make things right? Let me go. This is never going to be what you're hoping, and…" Emma didn't know how to say this next part. It wasn't just her anger keeping her from wanting Neal. It was the fact that there was hope for something better than what they'd had.

"What Hook said, in the cave. You felt it too." Emma looked down at her feet, still not wanting to admit to what Hook's words had meant, but she wasn't a coward.

"Yeah. I did." Neal looked stricken but Emma didn't move forward to comfort him. "Sorry you had to find out this way." With that Emma turned back to join her family and Hook. Only a short distance away, she ran straight into the latter who pulled her through the tall grass away from the path.

"Swan, about what I said before." Emma couldn't bear the look in his eyes, like he was going to apologize to her. Before he could, she pulled him to her again, just as she had before. The result was just as fantastic and petrifying. She felt like she was breathing for the first time since they'd lost Henry, like things were going to be okay but also like she was sinking, caught up in some sort of riptide that was trapping her. She was terrified of the closeness but hated the idea of space between them. She pulled back, breathing heavy and kept her eyes on his mouth.

"It wasn't a one time thing. I don't know what it was, but it wasn't that." She expected to see him smirking at that but he didn't and her eyes flicked up to his. He looked stunned but happy, and that was when it hit her. This thing between them, it had the potential to make _her_ happy, even here on this hellish island, in one of her life's darkest hours. Why was she fighting that?

"I made a plan a long time ago, Swan. I was never going to let anyone in again." Emma nodded.

"I made the same promise to myself." Her voice was breathy, and she nearly laughed at the change in her composure just from a kiss.

"Maybe we shouldn't fight it." His tone was so hopeful that Emma smiled, actually smiled at him.

"Maybe not."

"We need to find your boy, get off of this bloody island."

"Yeah, that would be good." With the reminder of Henry, Emma made to step back but Killian held onto her quickly.

"Best to watch your step, love." Emma looked behind her to see a strange sort of substance.

"Quicksand," she whispered and he nodded.

"Aye, love. Dangerous stuff to meddle with." With that, he led her back to the others and Emma thought to herself that there was no better analogy for how this attraction felt. The harder she fought, the deeper she seemed to sink.

…

 _You know I made a plan not to fall in love again  
And it should've been easy, guess my heart didn't hear me  
I just don't understand how the hell I'm so attached  
Cause I don't even know you, but I can't cut myself loose_

 _I'm sinking slowly while my pulse races  
And down I go, but I don't want saving  
Wish you would hold me, but I can't say it, I can't say it_

 _So keep on pulling me in, under, under  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
So keep on drawing me in closer, closer  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
In quicksand  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
In quicksand_

 _You know I can't pretend I'm not in over my head  
Maybe I'm being selfish, but I just want you to tell me_

 _If you're sinking slowly while your pulse races  
And down you go, but you don't want saving  
Wish you could hold m, but you won't say it, you won't say it_

 _So keep on pulling me in, under, under  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
So keep on drawing me in closer, closer  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
In quicksand  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
In quicksand_

 _And I'm not even fighting this gravity  
Because you've rearranged my reality  
And maybe we don't have to bury our, our fights  
And maybe we don't have to be alone anymore  
So keep on pulling me in, under, under  
So keep on drawing me in closer, closer_

 _So keep on pulling me in, under, under  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
So keep on drawing me in closer, closer  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
In quicksand  
_ _Keep pulling me, pulling me in_ _  
In quicksand_

 _So keep on pulling me in  
Keep pulling me, pulling me in  
Keep pulling me, pulling me in  
So keep on pulling me_ _  
In quicksand_

 _ **Post-Note: Hopefully you guys enjoyed. I don't usually rewrite past scenes (unless prompted to), but I don't know, I felt like I needed to undercut some of the tension that existed in last night's episode. I had an already scheduled chapter for another story today, so expect that later as well!**_


	22. Enemies (Of Love)

_**AU where Emma and Killian are rivals at the publishing house where they both work. The truth, though, is that Emma has been in love with Killian since day one. There is a wee bit of angst – well actually, it's more that fine line between love/hate. But I promise there is smutty office sex and a confession that they both love each other. Guaranteed HEA. Inspired by "Enemiez" by Keke Palmer and Jeremih.**_

 _Finally I'm right where I belong,_ Emma thought to herself as she waited patiently in the conference room of the twenty-seventh floor of Mills House Publishing. This was the executive floor, a place she had clawed her way up to over the past two years.

It had taken a crazy schedule, many sleepless nights, and practically no social life, but here she was, a newly minted Senior Editor and she was absolutely thrilled. This was what she'd been working towards for as long as she could remember and Emma wasn't about to let anything stand in her way of making the most of this promotion. She ran a hand down the front of her designer suit jacket. The black skirt set had been one of the many splurges she'd made upon the promotion last week and she looked damn good in it.

"Should have known you'd be here early, Swan," an accented voice said from the doorway.

Heat immediately coursed through Emma followed closely by frustration. She didn't have to raise her eyes from the table to know that Killian Jones was there, and of course, he'd decided to take the seat directly next to hers despite the other eleven open seats.

"Why's that, Jones?"

Killian smirked at her and she fought hard to keep her face stony despite how handsome it made him look. His piercing blue eyes were teasing, like he knew something she didn't and it was utterly infuriating. Emma hated being the last one to know things, but she hated it most when Killian was the one who had the upper hand.

"You're a bit of an open book, love." Emma rolled her eyes.

"A book pun, very creative."

"I like to think so." Emma tried not to notice that the blue of his suit brought out the swirling mix of shades in his eyes, or how his unbuttoning it revealed a well fitting shirt, no doubt hiding a muscled torso. She definitely did not get a rush of excitement when he fidgeted next to her ear to whisper in it. "I quite like the suit today, Swan. Very executive."

"Perfect. I had you of all people in mind when I bought it." She absolutely had not. Not really. No not at all.

"Very kind of you, love," he joked.

Emma turned to speak to him, to form some sort of witty comeback but he was far closer than she imagined and her mouth closed abruptly. She watched his expression shift from teasing and flirtatious to something more. He was searching her eyes for something, and the thought that he would find a weakness in the walls she'd steadily erected all of these years against him set her panicking.

"Ah, Emma… _and_ Killian. So glad to see you here so early."

Belle French, Emma's mentor and good friend who had managed to make it to the senior level a whole year earlier than anyone in company history gave them a smile as her eyes lingered on Emma's face. There was a silent question visibly hanging between them, but Emma shook her head slightly and Belle took a seat directly across from her. Belle started talking about one of her new talent finds and Emma threw herself into the conversation so as to try and forget the nearness of Killian. Over the next couple of minutes, the boardroom filled except for the head of the table.

"Is the Queen coming today, or…?"

Robin Locksley, VP of Mills House and all around badass businessman was the only person who could call Regina Mills 'the Queen' and live to work another day in this industry. Emma had always marveled at how despite the teasing and the banter, Robin was still here and all in one piece. Typically, Regina loathed such conduct, and had no problem firing or relocating people for taking liberties, but not with Robin. Granted, he was a fantastic overseer for the company and under his tenure the business had done well despite a struggling industry. Still, 'the Queen' had certain expectations, and flirtations were not involved in those.

"Why, Robin? Terribly saddened at the prospect of missing my company?"

Everyone stood as Regina came in and she simply waved them off as she looked as a portfolio in front of her. Fast on her heels was her assistant, the third one this month in fact, and Emma hadn't learned her name yet. The small woman looked overworked and petrified and it was barely 9 AM. Emma by no means envied her.

"Heart broken. Before we start, I do think some congratulations are in order as we welcome our two newest senior editors – Killian Jones and Emma Swan." There was a nice show of applause around the table, minus Regina of course who simply nodded at both of them.

"I dare say they will be a great improvement over tweedle dee and tweedle dum."

That was the name Regina had bestowed on the two senior editors who had been there before. They were hard workers and talented, but to Regina, they were incompetent and stale. She wanted to be the best in the business and for that she felt she needed fresh blood, thus the promotion of younger people like Belle, Emma and Killian all around the same time.

"That's certainly the hope." With that, Robin set forth the meeting's agendas. Everyone updated him and Regina on the state of their most important clients and their continuing search for new talent. The meeting was quick, and soon enough, it was disbanded.

"We still on for drinks later, Emma?" Belle asked hopefully and Emma nodded.

"Oh, Emma and Killian, one last thing." Robin looked up from the tablet in front of him with a big smile. "August Booth is looking to leave G&P for a new publishing house. You both know what that could mean for the company if we scored such a sizeable client."

Emma and Killian nodded. There was no denying that Booth was a wildly successful author, winning not only critical acclaim and awards galore, but also the hearts and the money of a global audience. His current fantasy series, _Misthaven Marvels_ was a huge franchise, and according to rumor, he'd been working on a new one so under wraps that no one knew anything about it.

"He's asked to meet with the two of you specifically."

"What?" Both Emma and Killian posed the question at the exact same time.

"Together? He wants us to meet together? Me and Killian? _Together_?" Robin blinked at Emma before giving her a strange look.

"Yes, that's typically what's meant by 'together.' He'll be meeting you two for lunch at Loretta's downtown. Keep us apprised of any updates, and do whatever it takes to seal this deal." With that, Robin left and Emma was still standing there, gaping at where he'd walked through the door.

"It's not that bad, love. One day spent in my company is that abhorrent to you?" Emma sighed. No, the problem was it wasn't, but she needed to make it that way.

…

"That is easily the dumbest idea I have ever heard."

Emma didn't even bother to look up at Killian who was sitting on the other side of her desk. They were working hard on this pitch, knowing that they needed to convince August Booth that Mills House was worthy of his brand and content. Meanwhile, Killian was arguing that through charm and money alone, they could convince one of the most successful authors of the modern era to sign on. Emma knew that idea to be completely and utterly ridiculous.

"He requested me in particular, Swan, and I'm not too proud to admit that I have a certain reputation." Emma rolled her eyes. That he did, as the biggest flirt to ever walk through the world of publishing.

"August Booth isn't going to fall for the lopsided grin and compliments about his eyes from you, Jones. He's straight." Just mentioning Killian's signature smirk brought it out, causing a simmering of heat to gather in Emma's belly. She hated it, but there it was.

"There's more to me than good looks and flirtation, Emma." The use of her first name made her stiffen. He only ever called her love and Swan, but Emma seemed too personal. He seemed to note her discomfort though and moved on. "I have male clients too, and amazing as it is they're happy with me. You have to show these authors a good time. They're often so inside their own minds they don't take the time to enjoy real life."

"It's a lunch meeting. We're not popping open a bottle of champagne, hoping on a jet, and hitting the Vegas strip." Killian ran a hand through his hair. "And in case you forgot, he also asked for me to be there, and I never need the flash and pomp to land a client."

"How could I forget that he'd asked you too? We've spent the whole morning with you berating me about my lackluster ability."

Killian's response sounded more hurt than she might of expected, but Emma remained firm. She wasn't going to feel sorry for the way she acted to him. Emma couldn't let herself do that, because with Killian, that would be a slippery slope landing her at the bottom of a pile of mud with him having the upper hand.

"Look, we need to work together. Maybe we take some of your flash and some of my planning and we make a hybridized pitch."

Killian nodded at that and Emma felt relief that they could put the bickering aside for a moment and just get to work. When working, Emma could be in her element, she could remind him just how good she was at this and remind herself that she hadn't needed anyone's help to get there.

…

Things with August Booth went better than anyone could have hoped, and after a busy morning spent researching and planning, and a fantastically overpriced lunch, they had signed Mr. Booth to Mills House. On their first day as senior editors Emma and Killian had snagged the catch of the year and Emma's editorial cut would be substantial, yet she was restless and frustrated.

She'd cancelled drinks with Belle, claiming that she needed to do more work on the Booth deal. Now it was past seven, the office was empty and she was trying to work but failing to do anything but think of Killian. She wanted to be free of him after the day that she'd had constantly surrounded by him, but it wasn't meant to be, because seconds later a knock came from her doorway and there he stood.

"What do you want, Killian?" After hours in his company her nerves were fried. She'd spent the day so crazed she now felt numb, except when he gave her a look. It was so far from what she expected, a coupling of sadness and sincerity she'd never seen from him.

"You truly hate me, Emma."

"I do not hate you, Killian. Hate would imply that I care." A slight uptick in her tone nearly gave her away but Emma swallowed it back.

"Well, I just came to say well done. You were the one who landed this deal, love. It's your victory." He turned to leave and she nearly threw something at him. The anger prompted an outburst.

"Do you remember what you said to me, that day?" Emma stepped from behind her desk and rounded the table to stand before him. She wanted to hear him say it. She wanted him to understand that this thing between them was a beast of his making. At least he had the decency to look ashamed about it. He scratched behind his ear and shook his head.

"I told you that making friends was the quickest way to kill a career."

Yup, that was right. One month into them both being here - a month when the two of them were already becoming friends - he'd dropped that incredibly rude statement in her lap and walked away like it was totally okay.

"You were a prick. I _liked_ you, and if you knew anything about my track record with, well with everyone, you'd know that meant something. I trusted you, and you threw it in my face like I was a fucking idiot." The anger was mixing with pain. That was the only reason Emma could think that these words were tumbling out of her.

"You're not an idiot, Emma. I am. And by the time I realized that, it was too late. You didn't want anything to do with me."

"Well at least you're aware." He took a step closer to her, so close he was back in her personal space and her breath caught.

"I was terrified of you." Emma rolled her eyes.

"What about me made me so scary, Killian?"

"This."

Then his mouth was on hers, and after only a moments hesitation, she opened to him, dying for the feel of the kiss, caving to the desire that had been building up all this time. Emma's fingers wove through his hair at the nape of his neck as she arched for closeness before realizing what she was doing. She was kissing Killian Jones. She pushed back forcefully.

"Killian, don't." He obeyed her command but looked at her earnestly.

"I was falling for you and if you knew anything about _my_ track record, you'd know there was nothing about that sensation that felt like a good idea. I'd been burned before, and I told myself you'd turn out to be like the people in my past. But you never did. Even at our worst, when you hated me, you were still perfect."

"You hurt me." Her voice cracked and she broke eye contact.

"Emma, I know I did, and there's not a day that I haven't regretted that. I had the chance to have you at my side, and yet I made an enemy of you." Emma flicked her eyes up at that.

"But you kept pushing me, purposely riling me up. Why? If you wanted me, why mess with me like that?"

"Because I don't deserve you, Swan, and I'm too selfish to let you go. At least if I flirted, or provoked you, or challenged you, you saw me. To be seen by you, even shroud in darkness, is a gift."

Emma didn't know how to respond to that. She needed a second to think. In all their time together, he had never been mean, except in that moment, and so anything and everything he did felt more charged. But now that she looked back, there were signs. He never took a joke too far, never pushed her past a limit, just made enough of a buzz to be seen, like he said.

"I would have seen you either way," she whispered. She felt him move closer, he rested his forehead against hers, taking her hand, imploring her to look at him.

"I'm sorry, Emma. I'll never be able to tell you how sorry I am." His hold on her hand was warm and she felt for a moment like there was hope. She wanted to believe that they could be more than the façade of animosity and that the connection beneath still remained. But he let go of her hand and started to walk out of the office.

"Show me." He turned around.

"What?"

"Show me how sorry you are."

"Love, I-,"

"Look, we can pretend this is all your fault, or we can be honest. I carried what you said around with me like a weapon to wield against you. In all the time since that day, I have treated you with disgust and disdain and borderline cruelty. You hurt me _once_ , but I must have hurt you a thousand times. And I'm an idiot too, because even after all this time, with all this shit between us, I fell too."

He crossed back into the room and pulled Emma close for a scorching kiss. He moved them back so that Emma was propped against the front of her desk as she held on to the lapels of his jacket for dear life.

"I love you, Emma. I know better than to let fear keep me from saying it outright. I love you, and if you'll forgive me I'll work every day to show you how much." Emma felt tears stinging her eyes.

"I already forgive you, because somehow, I love you too. Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive." Then he did the unthinkable. He left her cold and wanting for a moment to make his way back to the door and lock it. The click of it was audible and sparked Emma's awareness.

"You asked me to show you, love. I think we've waited long enough, don't you?"

His hand was moving up her thigh as she sat back on the desk and as his fingers trailed past the hem of her skirt and shoved the garment higher Emma nearly purred with pleasure. That was nothing though, compared to when his fingers touched her waiting heat. She had to grip the table and one of his arms to steady herself from the onslaught of feeling.

His fingers traced her clit, swirling around the bud and applying pressure at increments that were impossible to not find stimulating. But Emma wanted harder, faster, more.

"Killian, please, no teasing."

The plea from her lips set him to giving her exactly what she wanted. He was filling her with his fingers as he played with the bundle of nerves until Emma was seeing stars, tumbling into a climax that had been years in the making. Before she could catch her breath, he was kneeling in front of her, pushing her skirt up higher for better access. He removed her panties and slid them into his pant pocket.

"A keepsake?" She asked and was surprised when he growled and then immediately set to licking her into a frenzy. Where his hands had been magical, his mouth was incomprehensible. So much pleasure shouldn't have been possible, but Emma was in the throws of another orgasm before she thought humanly possible.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Emma asked as Killian rose back up and kissed her on the mouth again. Emma could taste herself on his tongue, and it revived her from the spent feeling of two shattering climaxes.

"Anything, love." She moved around the desk, moving her chair away and unzipping her skirt, dropping it to the ground. Then she watched his heated expression as she bent over the desk.

"If you take me here, I can think of it every time I sit at my desk."

He came up behind her, worshipping the lines of her body, his hands moving up under the shirt she still wore, tracing a swirling design that left her stomach fluttering. His hands made their way to her ass, massaging the globes and making her arch up further. She heard him unzip his pants and then in one swift thrust he was there, filling her completely. She cried out from the feeling, grasping onto the desk for support and reveling in the glorious feeling of finally being full when she'd so long felt empty.

"You should know that now you're mine and I have no intention of letting you go." He moved in and out at a pace that had her unable to respond. "Say you understand, love. Tell me your mine as I am yours."

"I'm yours, Killian. All yours." They chased their mutual release and when it found them, it was a glorious, overwhelming moment that pushed them towards a future past the pain and confusion of before.

Though it was the first time they had sex at the office, it wasn't the last. No they weren't sex maniacs, screwing at all hours of the day. But sometimes, when a project was running long, or a particularly wonderful client was signed… well now they had a tradition for when things were really good.

The rest of the office took notice that over night, Emma and Killian had gone from enemies to being madly in love with each other. No one asked for particulars, except for Belle of course, who was so happy at the reconciliation she nearly hired a parade for the occasion. If Emma had to guess, she'd say that a lot of them had already suspected that beneath the bluster, there may be more. Even Regina was fine with it in the end, probably because within a few weeks time, it came to light that she and Robin were romantically involved as well.

And despite the fact that Emma regretted the time they wasted being angry with each other, Emma couldn't help but feel grateful every day that they'd eventually had the courage to speak their truth. Because of it, she now had everything she wanted, and she could safely say that she'd managed to find herself a happily ever after.

…

 _Bite my tongue, it never hurt so bad_ _  
_ _Keep warning you to cross that line_ _  
_ _I keep tryina get you to react_ _  
_ _It never happens every time_ __

 _Now you're falling through my face_ _  
_ _There's one thing can cure this pain_ _  
_ _I want you inside of me, oh_ _  
_ _Can you fill this empty space?_ __

 _Oh oh oh, this ain't enough for me_ _  
_ _Gotta be honest, I want you to last for me_ _  
_ _And if I just ain't your friend, forever be your enemy_ _  
_ _So we can do all the things you're holding back from me_ _  
_ _So, let's be enemiez_ _  
_ _Oh, yeah_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _I know you keep your friends close,_ _  
_ _But I know you keep your enemiez closer_ _  
_ _Yeah_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _I know you keep your friends close,_ _  
_ _But I know you keep your enemiez closer_ _  
_ _Yeah!_ __

 _I'm gonna change the way you look at me_ _  
_ _Put desire in your eyes_ _  
_ _No, I can't wait to see your fantasies_ _  
_ _I can make you come alive_ __

 _Now you're falling through my face_ _  
_ _There's one thing can cure this pain_ _  
_ _I want you inside of me, oh_ _  
_ _Can you fill this empty space?_ __

 _Oh oh oh, this ain't enough for me_ _  
_ _(No no no)_ _  
_ _Gotta be honest, I want you to last for me_ _  
_ _And if I just ain't your friend, forever be your enemy_ _  
_ _So we can do all the things you're holding back from me_ _  
_ _So, let's be enemiez_ _  
_ _Oh, yeah_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _I know you keep your friends close,_ _  
_ _But I know you keep your enemiez closer_ _  
_ _Yeah_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _I know you keep your friends close,_ _  
_ _But I know you keep your enemiez closer_ _  
_ _Yeah!_ __

 _I've been on my worst behavior_ _  
_ _I want you to punish me_ _  
_ _I bet you that I could take you (Where?)_ __

 _All this fake shit just ain't enough for me_ _  
_ _Gotta be honest, I want you to last for me_ _  
_ _And if I just ain't your friend, forever be your enemy_ _  
_ _So we can do all the things you're holding back from me_ _  
_ _So, let's be enemiez_ _  
_ _Oh, yeah_

 _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _I know you keep your friends close,_ _  
_ _But I know you keep your enemiez closer_ _  
_ _Yeah_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_ _  
_ _I know you keep your friends close,_ _  
_ _But I know you keep your enemiez closer_ _  
_ _Yeah!_

 _ **Post-Note: Okay, so like I said, a bit more angst than my usual fare BUT, look I couldn't even make it 2,000 words before it got better. Can you imagine me trying to write a story with them being angsty full length? I would likely die. Anyways, thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed!**_


	23. Stone

_**Killian wakes one night to find that Emma is not beside him, he makes his way through the house and finds her on the porch swing outside, she's staring up at the stars. Emma has something to tell him – she's pregnant and has been trying to figure out how to tell him. Killian is elated and cuteness ensues. Inspired by "Stone" by Alessia Cara.**_

Something wasn't right, that was the one thing Killian knew as his consciousness returned from the deep sleep he'd been in. As understanding hit him, he realized the problem – Emma wasn't in bed and the world outside was still shroud in darkness. Every once in a while this happened, and when it did, Killian always went to find her.

Trying to sleep would be fruitless as he needed Emma's presence to do so, so he picked himself up from the bed and ran a hand across his face. Slowly he made his way down the stairs and to the front door. Once outside, he felt the nip of a cold breeze licking at his skin, but it mattered not, for there, moving back and forth on the porch swing was Emma, staring up into the stars.

She was beautiful, absolutely breathtaking, despite the worry lines etched on her face. Each day he spent by her side was a gift, and Killian never took it for granted. Whatever was the matter, he would do his best to fix it. Together, they could face anything. Tonight's problem, though, must have been big, because Emma didn't notice his presence until he was right beside her.

"Killian," she whispered, looking tired and a little afraid.

"What's the matter, love?" She sighed.

"I couldn't sleep, and the stars always seem to calm me down." He nodded, pulling her into his arms as he sat beside her on the swings and she leaned into him. He thought back on all the times he'd gazed up at the stars from the decks of the Jolly Roger and felt himself a small man with a big purpose. It had been revenge and it was only when he let go of that vendetta that he realized he was meant for something else entirely, to love Emma Swan.

"The stars are a good source for calm." Emma shook her head against his chest and he thought of how much smaller she seemed tonight than she often did. Like a child instead of the brave and steady woman he knew.

"Not tonight." Her tone pulled at his heartstrings and he ran his hand across the exposed flesh on her arm.

"Can I help, Swan?" She looked in his eyes, and there it was again – the flash of trepidation.

"I love you." The statement had not been what he was expecting, but hearing it still caused an uptick from the corner of his mouth. He'd never grow tired of knowing that somehow, through some miracle, she was his.

"Aye, I know." He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles before wrapping her fingers with his. They were cold from the nighttime air and he wanted to soothe her however he could.

"Our world is insane, it's crazy and chaotic and dangerous." Ah, so this would be one of those nights, when the creeping of potential loss came back. Killian had faced these with Emma before, the best remedy was patience and honesty.

"Sometimes, yes. But there'll never be a trial we can't face as long as we're together." She looked down at their joined hands.

"I'm over thinking this, I think." He tilted her chin up, having her look into his eyes. Silently he implored her to just tell him what it as and she did. "I'm pregnant."

Her words sent a rush spiraling through his system. One minute he'd felt calm, the next he was elated. All it took was span of a heartbeat for his grin to spread and his eyes to brighten. _She was pregnant! He was going to be a father!_

"You mean it, Emma?" She nodded, smiling too with tears welling in her eyes.

"I know it's really soon. We _just_ got married, but I just know. I can sense it." Killian wiped away one of the droplets that had spilled onto her cheek and shook his head.

"You are a brilliant mother, Emma. Any child of ours will be very blessed." She pulled him forward, kissing him fiercely and he could feel that she needed this connection between them to rid her of the remaining worry.

"You're already a great step-dad to Henry. I know you'll be the best Dad."

"Why the worry then?"

"I've never wanted forever with anyone. I want that with you, but it's still early. The story of us is still beginning and this was something new. I didn't know how you'd react." He could understand the thought. His Emma had known hurt and was understandably cautious. But the best part of their love was that it made them braver, better.

"I can't guarantee for certain that there won't be hard times. In fact, I know there will be. But you will always have me. I will always fight for us and there's nothing that could keep me from loving you and our child." He pressed his lips to hers again, nearly drunk on the excitement of this next step together. He could barely wrap his mind around it. He, a father, for real. Being there from the start and sharing it all with Emma. It was everything he could have ever wanted and never dared to hope for.

"You never falter." Her comment puzzled Killian as she pulled back and pressed her forehead against his.

"Come again, love?"

"You don't waver. In everything, you look at the world and you know without a doubt that you'll love me always. Your faith in us is made of stone and I love you for it." He lifted her hand to his chest.

"Feel that, love?" Emma sighed as her fingers grazed lazily over his shirt just above his heart.

"Nothing and no one else in the world has a claim on my heart like you do, and just when I thought you couldn't give me any more goodness and light, you've given me this. I never waiver because there's no uncertainty. You are my forever."

"Forever." They sat out there for a while yet until Emma yawned. Taking that as his cue, Killian carried her back to bed. Once there she curled onto her side and looked at him.

"We'll have to tell everyone." Killian nodded.

"That we will."

"My mother gets no name input." Killian laughed at that.

"As you wish, love." He thought she was finally asleep when one final whisper left her lips.

"I like Hope for a girl." The idea gave him a distinct feeling of warmth in his gut, and eight months later, when he met his little girl for the first time, he knew Emma's preference had been exactly the right one.

….

 _So much on my mind, I think I think too much_

 _Read between these lines, unspoken weight of words_

 _But time comes to rest when you are by my side, it blurs_

 _And I will follow where this takes me_

 _And my tomorrows long to be unknown_

 _When all is shaken, be my safety_

 _In a world uncertain, say you'll be my stone_

 _Change in every wind_

 _The sands of time don't know our name_

 _Oh nothing's sure, but surely as we stand_

 _I promise I will stay the same_

 _And I've never seen forever_

 _But I know we'll remain_

 _And I will follow where this takes me_

 _And my tomorrows long to be unknown_

 _When all is shaken, be my safety_

 _In a world uncertain, say you'll be my stone_

 _Be my stone_

 _In a world uncertain, say you'll be my stone_

 _Oh steady me, be my source of gravity_

 _While my world's unraveling_

 _Say you'll never change, Oh! Oh!_

 _And I will follow where this takes me_

 _And my tomorrows long to be unknown_

 _When all is shaken, be my safety_

 _In a world uncertain, say you'll be my stone_

 _Be my stone,_

 _In a world unspoken, say you'll be my stone_

 _ **Post-Note: I haven't written one about them having kids in a while, and all of my other stories are still in the middle chapters so no babies yet, but WOW do I love baby fluff. Also love this song. If you haven't checked it out you definitely should. Hope you guys enjoyed and have great weekends!**_


	24. Next Boyfriend

_**A/N: Emma and her three best friends have always had a system – not particularly original, but one that works. When either of them finds a guy they like, one that they couldn't bear to see the others date they call dibs. One of her friends has made their call before, but three are left waiting. Emma has never even been tempted to, until tonight – when she meets Killian Jones at a local bar. Inspired by the song "Next Boyfriend" by Lauren Alaina.**_

"What's a girl like you doing all alone in a place like this?"

 _Jesus, was this guy serious?_ Emma sipped from her glass and waited, hoping that silence would repel whatever horrible attempt at a player was sitting beside her as she waited for the round of drinks. It didn't work.

"I said-"

"Oh, buddy, I heard what you said. This was me being as kind about it as I could and pretending you didn't just use a line that was simultaneously offensive and incredibly lame. Instead, you decided to push us into this awkward interaction where I have to tell you that I am not only with people, but that girls don't fall into 'types.'"

"Here are your drinks, Miss." The bartender behind the counter, Tink, absolutely knew Emma's name, but she had opted not to say it in front of this weirdo, which Emma appreciated.

"Thanks." Emma turned to make her getaway back to the table of her friends. The guy huffed under his breath as he walked in the other direction, but Emma let it be, more than willing to forget the bozo and enjoy her girl's night out. She was long overdue for one.

"Ladies," she said as she placed the tray Tink had so nicely bestowed for their use and watched as her three best friends each grabbed for their beverage of choice.

"That guy at the bar give you trouble?" Ruby asked, clearly put off by him.

"Of course, but I handled it. Now, what are we drinking to?" Emma asked.

"To new adventures, like Ruby's new job!" Belle's comment reminded Emma of one of the big reasons they were out tonight. Her brilliant, fabulous friend had just been hired as an investigative journalist for the leading cable news station in the country, and that was a feat well worth a drink, or ten.

"And to taking the chances we're given, without worrying we might fail," Ruby added. Despite Ruby's spades of confidence, Emma knew she was understandably anxious for the start of the new position next week.

"Another good one. Mary Margaret?" Her pixie-haired friend sat there considering, her eyes taking on a dreamy look.

"To love, and to knowing it when you find it." Emma couldn't help but smile. She was happy to see her best friend glowing like this, and that was all thanks to love. A few months ago, Mary Margaret had met a man (or a fella, as Ruby kept jokingly referring to him as) here at this very bar. He a veterinarian, and a really decent guy from what Emma could tell, and she was typically right about these things. Now, Mary Margaret was still riding high on the love train and Emma hoped for her friend's sake that it never went the way of Emma's past relationships.

"What about you, Emma?" Her three friends looked at her expectantly and Emma smiled.

"You know what, those sound good, how about I take all three?" Her friends allowed it and the four toasted happily.

"Holy _fuck_ ," Ruby's voice carried and her eyes were facing the entrance of the bar. Emma and the others turned to follow her gaze and then it happened – Emma Swan felt that zing of instant attraction all too rare in life.

Three men had entered, all good looking, but one stood out in a big way. His hair was dark, his eyes a piercing blue and he was built for… well, hopefully a great lay because that's sure as hell what it looked like. Emma struggled to breathe looking at him, feeling like she was on fire but chilled at the same time. In a matter of seconds she'd constructed five separate fantasies of things she'd like the devilishly handsome stranger to do to her. Finally she had the foresight to say the word.

"Dibs!" Only Ruby and Belle said the words at the exact same time and everyone froze.

 _Shit!_ Emma thought. Long ago, the friends had devised a system, if ever they met a guy they would be loathed to see another friend with because of their own attraction to him, they could call dibs. The rules said that if two girls called the same guy, he was no longer in play, because they wouldn't put anyone over their friendship. They'd all been together too long to do that, but it was a game none of them ever really played, as it was supposed to be saved for people who could matter. In fact, the only one who had ever thought to call dibs before was Mary Margaret for David. So right now, Emma was terrified that one of her friends had called this blue-eyed stranger, because she felt like he could matter.

"I meant the one with lighter brown hair." Ruby said, still looking at him with longing before turning to her two friends. Emma exhaled, one down that wasn't hers and Belle did the same. Moment of truth.

"I meant the one without the beard." Emma smiled and shook her head. Her guy was still in the running and she would thank every entity ever for that. She looked back at him and took in the full effect, his leather jacket, his dark jeans and tight t-shirt made him look a little dangerous, and fuck-me hot. Emma felt drunk at the sight of him, but she'd had one drink. She had no basis for these emotions and sat there debating what to do about it.

"Well, ladies, we nearly had a three person heart attack on our hands, but it seems we're safe." Mary Margaret looked simultaneously relieved and ecstatic and Emma felt she likely shared the expression.

"Fuck safe, I'm going in," Ruby said as she downed the rest of her drink and stood up from the table and went up to the guys in question. Emma watched, shocked at the show of bravery from her friend, and definitely not anywhere near that prepped to make a move.

"Stupid toast," Belle downed her drink too and walked over into the fray too and Emma tore her gaze away from her mystery man and looked at Mary Margaret.

"What is happening right now?" Mary Margaret smiled and shook her head.

"Hell if I know. But it's coming this way." Emma's heart was pounding in her ears at that, she finished off the rest of the drink in front of her when he made his approach.

"Excuse me, love. I couldn't help but notice you from across the room, and if you're not otherwise engaged, I was hoping I could buy you a drink." Emma stared up at those bright blue eyes, transfixed. Their depths held her captive, and if she was drowning in them, she never wanted saving. He smiled at her, but she could see a bit of nerves behind the bravado and that real vulnerability prompted her to smile back.

"You were hoping, huh?" Emma looked at Mary Margaret who had a huge smile and was discretely shooing her away.

"Aye, love."

"Well," she said as she took his hand in hers, "I'd hate to disappoint."

With that, he led her to the bar, and Emma could feel her skin surging with fluttering sensations at his touch on the small of her back. She needed some way to diffuse some of this electricity between them, it was scary and wonderful and really messing with her head.

"How did you manage?" She asked and he quirked a brow up.

"Manage, what love?"

"To use a line and not sound like a complete douche about it. You didn't even ask my name and I agreed. So how did you manage?" He smiled at that.

"Well there was no need to ask your name _Emma_ , as your friend Ruby so willingly gave it to me." She shivered at the lowered tone of his words and the way his hand at her back moved down slightly.

"Ah, so I'm operating at a disadvantage then." He smiled.

"Killian Jones at your service." She liked his name, it suited him and this accent along with the rest of him was putting Emma in real trouble. Her mind was racing, chronicling all the things she'd like to do to this foreign stranger. She bit her lip unconsciously and watched as his eyes flashed to her mouth before she let go of the lip caught between her teeth.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I take it you hear a lot of lines, if you're so fixated on my statement. It wasn't rehearsed if that's what you're fearing." She shook her head smiling.

"I'm practically an expert at this point, and yours was definitely on the fly."

"What's the best one you've ever heard?" Emma thought about that, finally settling on one. She moved closer to him, placing a hand on his arm, using her touch as he had his to throw him off balance. The rush of heat in his gaze told her it was working.

"I swear I know you from somewhere." Killian smiled, one side of his mouth rising slightly more than the other.

"Is that right?"

"Yeah it's driving me crazy, where I've seen you before." He growled low as her hand moved from his arm to his chest, her fingers flexing on the cotton covering his taut muscles.

"I think I'd remember you, love," Emma almost laughed at how he was going along with this, but she stayed on task.

"I got it. You look a lot like my next boyfriend." Emma anticipated a laugh, maybe some teasing at how corny the line was, but Killian merely pulled her closer to him so they were hip to hip, she could feel his arousal pressing against her and her mind was suddenly filled with one thing – a craze inducing need to have him.

"Easily the best line I've ever heard, Swan." Then she went for it, remembering the toast that she should be adventurous and say yes. She pulled him down by the collar of his jacket for a kiss. It was demanding and fiercely erotic and Emma moaned into his mouth as Killian's hands surrounded her, pulling her in closer. Emma had never felt so much so quickly for someone else, and she was struggling to understand if it was purely sexual or if there was something underneath. She really wanted to figure it out though.

When Emma finally pulled back, she remembered where they were and tried to regain her composure. Killian merely smiled at her and then raised a hand to brush a wayward strand of her hair back into place. Then he took her hand in his and they returned to the table where her group of friends had been. David was there now too, so that no one was alone on what had originally been a girls night, but Emma struggled to pay attention to the new additions, instead fixated on the hand Killian was holding and the heat radiating off of him and beckoning to her as he sat beside her.

"You're somewhere else, Swan," he whispered in her ear as she tried to focus on an exchange between Ruby and Killian's friend Graham and his voice had her shuddering in anticipation.

"You make it pretty hard to focus." His grip on her hand tightened and he moved slightly closer to her, so close that the warmth of his breath tickled her ear, sending heat coursing through her.

"Is that so?" She nodded mutely before turning to him. The look in his eyes was dangerous, because it crossed beyond the physical heat clearly between them. It was real and raw and Emma felt a tugging at her gut that his being here tonight wasn't coincidence. They were supposed to meet; she was due for this kind of undeniable zing. She'd never been a big proponent of fate or destiny, but Killian Jones was making her rethink those preconceptions.

"Yeah, any idea how to fix that?" He smiled wickedly, and Emma's tummy flipped. Oh God, he could do anything and everything to her looking like that, running a hand through his tousled hair.

"Not a clue. But even if I did I wouldn't want to. I like you in the thick of this with me." Emma's eyes grew wider as Killian excused them from the group and she followed willingly as he made their way out of the bar. They headed off for an unforgettable evening, which, lucky for them, turned into the start of a magical journey together.

…..

 _One year later_

Emma could hardly believe that a year had passed since she'd met Killian. It simultaneously felt like it had been so much longer, and just yesterday. The way they fit together was undeniable, and a few months back, when he'd asked her to move in, she hadn't hesitated. There was just something about him that Emma recognized as what she wanted and needed. She loved him, and she knew without a doubt that he loved her too.

They were sitting here together, at a gorgeous candlelit dinner in the private room of her favorite restaurant downtown. They were surrounded by their friends and the eight of them were having a great time in each other's company after an early drinking at what had lovingly become their bar. Emma had thought it was a little unconventional to have other people at an anniversary dinner, but she and Killian had spent the entire day together, touring the public gardens (her favorite place), having a picnic amongst the lilac flowers, and enjoying everything that the beautiful spring day had to offer. Now, she had to admit, she liked that she was sharing such a moment in the company of her best friends.

Emma looked around the table and felt genuine happiness for everyone. Mary Margaret and David were married now, and had only recently gotten back from their honeymoon. Ruby and Graham, adventurers that they were, were leaving the following week for a three week trip in the Amazon, and Belle and Will, though less prone to globe trotting, were enjoying the happy buzz of just moving in together.

What was striking, though, was that the only person whose face wasn't completely overtaken with joy was Killian's. She touched his arm and whispered low to him.

"Hey are you okay?" He nodded, but his eyes betrayed some sort of anxiety she wanted to erase. "Killian, talk to me."

"How do you always know when there's something the matter with me, Swan?" She smiled at that and her fingers came up to his cheek, softly caressing where stubble met smooth skin.

"When you love someone, you just know." He grinned at that, and Emma felt better, like she could breath properly again.

"Remember the first night we met, love?" She smiled, of course she did.

"How could I not?"

"I swear I know you from somewhere." Emma laughed a little, loving that he remembered that line from that night. In the months that had followed, they'd made a sort of game of trying to find cornier ones that might be a favorite, but none had topped that one to date.

"Is that right?" she asked playfully.

"Yeah, it's driving me crazy where I've seen you before." She grinned at him, watching his own humor dissolve as he got up from his chair and got down before her on one knee, pulling out a beautiful ring from his pocket. "Ah wait, you look a lot like my future wife."

Emma was so overcome with emotion and disbelief at the statement that she failed to notice the silence that had descended over her friends. She was entirely too wrapped up in the man she loved about to offer her everything she had ever wanted.

"Killian," she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. She loved him so much, and she was so happy that he loved her too. The word 'yes' was at her lips, begging to pass through but he hadn't asked a question yet.

"Emma, from the moment I walked into that bar nearly a year ago, I knew there was something about you that was different, that would change the game for me. I didn't realize then that it was love. I love you more and more each day, and when I'm with you, nothing in the world can bring me down. You are everything and if you'll let me, I'd like to spend our whole lives showing you just what your love means to me." Emma took just a moment before responding and that was all that was needed for Mary Margaret, Ruby and Belle to all chime in together.

"Say yes, Emma!" Emma laughed at that and looked back at Killian.

"Yes Killian, I will marry you." He stood and pulled her up with him and the cheer from the group was undeniable despite the kiss Emma and Killian shared. Emma turned back to her friends blushing as Killian dropped some money to the table.

"And with that, we bid you all farewell." Emma had never seen anyone move so swiftly from a restaurant and then drive so quickly through the busy streets of Boston before, but they were back home impossibly soon and once there, Emma let herself fully express just how delighted she was at the prospect of becoming his wife.

"I don't know how you're going to top this every year. This was a perfect anniversary." Emma joked as she shrugged off her jacket quickly and put some distance between the two of them. Killian looked down right predatory right now, and she knew that delaying, even slightly, would only make it better for both of them. A little anticipation was exactly what they needed.

"Don't doubt my desire to see you happy, Swan. I can handle the next fifty years no problem." Emma smiled at the thought of them growing old together. With kids and a house in the suburbs, a white picket fence and that kind of romantic love that only got better with age. As it turned out, Emma was extremely turned on by commitment, in ways she hadn't expected.

"Promise me you'll still call me that when we're married." He nodded and moved towards her, his hand pulling at the zipper at the back of her dress. He dropped a kiss to the side of her neck before replying.

"You'll always be my Swan, love." She smiled at that, twisting in his embrace as she stepped out of her dress. She reveled in his heated stare as he took in her matching black lace panty and bra and four-inch heels. She loved the tick in his jaw that came as he tried to remain in control and the low growl that emanated from him when she nipped at his bottom lip.

"Want to give me a preview of life as Mrs. Jones?"

"The last year hasn't been indicative enough for you, love?" He asked as he pressed her against the back of the door. Emma moaned against his wandering hands that unclasped the front of her bra and took his time working her hardened nipples before taking one into his mouth. She arched into him, needing more, and he delivered, with one of his hands trailing past the seam of her panties and into her waiting heat. The two-front stimulation at her breasts and her core had her climax gripping faster than she thought possible, but she knew better than to be surprised with Killian at the helm.

"Okay you win, but you're also overdressed for this party." Emma tugged at Killian's tie and the two of them got rid of the rest of the clothes separating them before making their way to the bed. Emma Killian move above her with a lot of grace and clear determination in his eyes but she wanted something different. Taking him off guard, she switched their positions as she straddled him, liking the shift in power. This placement always felt like a claiming, and now, wearing his ring on her finger and knowing that they were making it official added that much more desire into the mix.

"Marriage is going to be a lot of compromise, a lot of give and take," she said as she lowered herself down on his waiting cock. He groaned and she luxuriated in that sexy sort of confidence that came from taking the reigns.

"Aye, it is love. A series of negotiations." He thrust up into her, causing Emma's eyes to close as she succumbed to feel of him. He was riding her from the bottom and for a moment she let him, loving the feel of the rhythm he set.

" _Fair_ negotiations," she stressed as she pressed against his chest putting him back in check and he broke out into a grin.

"No one said anything about fair, Swan." Emma squealed as he flipped them again and in the end she didn't care that he'd won this time, because in doing so, he guaranteed her another sweet release…and then another, and another.

"I love you, Killian." Emma whispered after they'd settled on the bed, both spent and satisfied.

"As I love you, Emma. Always." Emma liked the sound of that – a bit of always sounded really _really_ good to her.

…

 _I thought I knew you from somewhere  
Right when you walked through the door  
So, please forgive me for staring  
It's driving me crazy where I've seen you before  
Maybe it's the white t-shirt that you're wearing  
The danger in your eyes or your fingers in your hair  
It's a pretty small town, it's coming to me now  
Whoa, I just figured it out_

 _You look a lot like my next boyfriend  
I can't believe how much you act like him  
You and me, we'd be unbelievable  
And I'm available  
No, I don't think it's a coincidence  
I put it all together, it makes sense  
Boy, you ain't no fling or a could've been  
You look a lot like my next boyfriend_

 _You should probably come over  
Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine  
I'll probably give you my number  
And you can call me anytime  
I hope you like red lips, driveway kissing_

' _Cause if you want it baby, that's what you'll be getting_ _  
_ _Every night, all of the time_ _  
_ _Whoa, I hope that's alright_

 _You look a lot like my next boyfriend  
I can't believe how much you act like him  
You and me, we'd be unbelievable  
And I'm available  
No, I don't think it's a coincidence  
I put it all together, it makes sense  
Boy, you ain't no fling or a could've been  
You look a lot like my next boyfriend_

 _Next boy, next boyfriend  
You look a lot like my next boyfriend  
Next boy, next boyfriend_

 _I thought I knew you from somewhere  
Right when you walked through the door_

 _You look a lot like my next boyfriend  
I can't believe how much you act like him  
You and me, we'd be unbelievable  
And I'm available  
No, I don't think it's a coincidence  
I put it all together, it makes sense  
Boy, you ain't no fling or a could've been  
You look a lot like my next boyfriend_

 _Next boy, next boyfriend  
You look a lot like my next boy, next boy, next boyfriend  
Next boyfriend  
You look a lot like my next boyfriend_

 __ _ **Post-Note: Hey All! Hope you enjoyed the story, and that everyone is still alive after last night's episode. Just give me a reunion and an end to the angst, please writing gods, please! That being said, so much tension is a great inspiration for my own writing, and I really do owe this show for keeping my creativity up.**_


	25. Angels

_**Takes place a few months post-Underworld. Focused on a a Captain Swan wedding from Killian's perspective. Inspired by Joshua Radin's "Angels." Includes inner monologue, cute vows and a lot of happy fluff.**_

"Are you ready for this, Jones?" The question from Robin was asked in that lighthearted tone Killian had come to expect from the bandit. Killian nodded, taking a look around the fully decorated yard of the home that he and Emma shared. Surrounded by green trees on one side, and a view of the see on the other, the spot was perfect, and Killian felt it the best place for he and Emma to take this next step.

"I've been ready from the start." Robin patted his arm, before taking his seat in the front row besides Regina. The once Evil Queen nodded at Killian with a kindness in her eyes that told of a newfound respect between the two of them. On his way up the aisle, Henry gave Regina a hug and then turned to smile at Killian as he took his place next to him.

Asking Henry to be his best man had been an intuitive thing for Killian. The lad had seen past Killian's shortcomings, and his past, just as he did with everyone, and had become a huge proponent of Killian and Emma's relationship. His chief desire was to see his mother happy and cared for, and Killian treasured that instinct.

"You're gonna freak when you see Mom." Killian grinned at that, feeling excited and a bit petrified of what was to come. Emma Swan had said yes to his proposal, she wanted to be his just as badly as he wanted to be hers, and today was the day they'd see that inclination through. He was joyous and anxious and in need of a drink if he was quite honest.

" _Freak_ sounds like a bad thing." Henry laughed at that, but then the music was starting and all thoughts flew to what was coming. Down the aisle came Mary Margaret, holding the hand of her newly walking son Neal, who was today's bearer of rings. The little rascal had a mind of his own, but his mother patiently reined him in as they walked the path to where Killian and Henry stood.

"Bring them to Killy." Neal did just that and Killian crouched low to accept them from the little tyke. The boy had his sister's smile, and wide eyes, and Killian had grown very fond of him.

"Thanks, lad." He looked up to Mary Margaret who smiled and hugged him.

"Be good to her, Hook." He could only nod as she took her seat in the front beside Regina.

Now it was Belle's turn to walk down the aisle, and though Killian could see she was somewhat subdued, no doubt feeling her own heartache a little more acutely at such a ceremony, she threw him a genuine smile. Belle and he, as unlikely as it was, had formed a friendship, in turn boosting hers with Emma. While it had been surprising to some that Emma would ask Belle to be her bridesmaid, it had seemed the natural choice to Killian.

All thoughts of what was right and what was proper fled his mind then, for there, dressed in a lace white gown that seemed the product of the most intricate magic, was his Swan. She was a vision, angelic in her appearance and he couldn't help but feel a wash of light on his skin as she walked towards him, just as he had in the underworld when they'd finally been reunited. She was smiling at him in that sweet way that came when she was completely and utterly sure of something, and he knew his responding look must be just as bright.

"Told you so," he heard Henry joke, but Killian couldn't respond, couldn't tear his eyes away from the love of his life, with her long golden hair, and impossible goodness. He could only liken her to a fallen angel, still radiating truth and love and hope. He would never understand how he'd gotten so lucky, and he silently vowed to never ever make Emma regret her decision to love him in return. Emma stepped before Killian, kissing her father's cheek before sending him to sit with her mother.

"No funny business, Killian. And don't get any ideas about calling me Dad." All the guests laughed at that, but Killian knew, that all teasing aside, he had won Dave over already, and that the man had happily given his blessing for this union. Not that he and Emma would have ever needed it. He was in love with a headstrong woman, more than capable of knowing her own mind. Killian took Emma's hand in his, needing the connection between them. She happily accepted and ran her thumb across his knuckles.

"I love you." She whispered, he squeezed her hand tighter.

"As I love you, Swan."

"Ladies and gentleman. We gather here today to bring together two lives, two souls so determined to be united that they literally fought through hell together." The guests laughed again as did Emma and Killian lightly.

"And I'd do it again," Emma's whisper was low enough that only Killian heard it and he brought her hand up to kiss, earning a mix of _'awws'_ and a _'follow the rules for once, Jones!'_ from David which of course brought more laughing.

"Sorry, go on." Archie (as the only justice of the peace in town), continued and Emma and Killian stood side by side, accepting the traditional vows, to have and to hold each other in sickness and in health. Finally they were given the chance to speak their truth, and Killian deferred to Emma to lead the way, as she so often did in their life together.

"Killian. When we met, I was guarded, surrounded by walls on every side. I trusted only one man," Emma's eyes met Henry's over Killian's shoulder lovingly before returning to his now brimming with unshed tears, "and I was convinced that was enough. But then you came barreling into my life headfirst, a pirate and a problem. I told you that I couldn't take the risk that I was wrong about you, because even then, my gut was screaming at me that you were different. I was scared, and afraid to take the jump, to expose my heart, but you stayed, patient and willing to wait forever if I needed it.

"The past few months have shown me that forever can end far sooner than any of us expect, and I know now that my life without you is less than the happily ever after that I was hoping for. You make me believe that the fairytale love of my parents can be mine too, and I will never be able to thank you enough for loving me so faithfully. Know that I will never take it for granted, even if I drive you crazy. Even if I drag you through time and space, keep chasing me, find me, as I swear to always find you." Emma slipped the ring on Killian's hand and it took everything in him not to pull her close for a kiss, but now it was his turn to speak, and his lovely Swan deserved poetry and great words on today of all days.

"Emma, someone once asked me where my faith in us comes from. I answered, honestly, when you love someone, you just know. But that was only half the story. What I should have said was that when you love Emma Swan, you know that she's the light in the darkness and the calm in the storm. Through everything you show me what it means to be good and what it means to be truly courageous. I was a lost soul before you, love, blinded by revenge and a hollow feeling that told me too that hope was useless. That all changed with you." Tears had fallen on Emma's cheeks and Killian moved to wipe them away before continuing with a soft smile.

"You've given me more than I ever thought I could have, Swan. You've given me a purpose, a reason to fight and to live for good and for what's right. You've given me a family and a home. And you've given me belief, that love can be enough, and that together, there's nothing we can't face. As for your imploring me to find you, nothing could keep me from doing so. Where you go, I will follow, time and time again." Emma squeezed his hand tighter, taking a step closer to him and keeping eye contact while talking to Archie.

"Think we could speed this up, Archie?" Emma asked. He agreed that they could and they were pronounced man and wife. Without further ado, Killian took Emma into his arms and showed her with a kiss that his words would always be more than that. They were an affirmation that the heart they shared would always beat with hers, and that he would always, as long as he lived, strive to make her happy.

If you asked Killian or Emma or any of the guests that day years later whether the love between them was true, they'd all say the same thing – undeniably yes. What started as hope in the darkness, as a balm for two weary souls who had seen life's crueler sides, became a beacon and a light that shone on a blissful life. Their family grew, and though they remained heroes, fighting the darkness away sometimes at great cost, they were more than content. In fact, you could say that their happily ever, strange and chaotic as it was, was utterly perfect for the pirate and his princess.

…

 _It's been a long time  
That I've been on my own  
And I can't take no more_

 _But these winds are changing  
They blow me through the storm  
Until I see the shore_

 _And I'm praying for someone  
To show me I'm not done  
Sometimes I see your face_

 _You've got everything I need  
When I'm lost it's only you I seek  
You've got wings to set me free  
When I'm doubt you making me believe  
That angels can fall  
Angels can fall_

 _I crossed the ocean  
I walked the desert sand  
I find those hills to climb_

 _And I'll keep on searching  
Cause I know you want to land  
Into these arms of mine_

 _On this road that I walking  
I hear you talking  
I know I find you soon_

 _You've got everything I need  
When I'm lost it's only you I seek  
You've got wings to set me free  
When I'm doubt you making me believe  
That angels can fall  
Angels can fall_

 _I've been hurt and I've been left  
On the floor_

 _You're the light that lifts me up  
Through that open door_

 _You've got everything I need  
When I'm lost it's only you I seek  
You've got wings to set me free  
When I'm doubt you making me believe  
That angels can fall  
Angels can fall_

 _ **Post-Note: I think this chapter is pretty self explanatory, but the motive was a great need for a wedding and happiness given spoiler pictures from set. I am a shipper of multiple couples on OUAT, but Captain Swan is my number one, and the one cure-all for any angst would be them having an adorable wedding. Also really want to see baby Neal walking, because babies are the best. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	26. Deciphering Me

_**AU ficlet that tracks a first date between Killian and Emma. Emma has been nervous for it but ends up really enjoying herself. Includes fluff and the healing power of love, and of course romantic trips to the library (yeah you read that right). Inspired by the song 'Deciphering Me' by Brooke Fraser.**_

Dating had never been a favorite pastime of Emma Swan's. Between the small talk, and the awkward negotiation of speaking too little versus speaking too much, the worrying about a goodnight kiss and having three backup plans to abandon ship if the guy was weird, first dates especially were a big risk. Over the past few years, Emma had been sparing with accepting them and for good reason. Despite her instincts about people, she kept having losers slip through the cracks, or guys who were really good actors.

That had been the mindset she'd gone into tonight with, that somehow, Killian Jones, the really hot lawyer she'd met in court last month, was acting, but she had to admit, that they were now three hours into the night and none of the usual red flags had popped up. In fact, they'd left small talk behind hour one and moved on to what felt like actual conversation. It also didn't hurt that he was thoughtful, and polite, and problematically hot. Emma had now multiple times chastised herself mentally for picturing him naked and staring too long at his mouth.

"I hate to deny you anything, Swan, but when you bite your lip like that, you make my baser instincts flare, and I had every intention of being the gentleman tonight." Emma felt her cheeks flush, her eyes widen. There was something incredibly hot about the fact that he was trying to reign himself in, because that's exactly what she was doing. Sure, the speaking between them was easy, she felt like she'd known him far longer than one night and a few short run-ins in the courthouse, but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about him doing some seriously sexy things to her multiple times.

"Maybe I don't want gentlemanly." She sipped at the coffee in front of her, watching him grapple with her comment and loving that his gaze took on a fiery disposition. He was steeling himself against temptation, and there was something about pushing him towards being a little bad that riled her up.

"I think you do though, love." Emma straightened and pushed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, enjoying the way he took note of her movements. Her chest puffed out slightly, and in her fitted black dress, there was no way it could escape his notice.

"Okay counsel," she used the legal term as a sort of humorous shield, and knew that it pitted her as a judge over what he would say next. "What else do you think about me?"

Killian's eyes roamed over her face as if gauging how much he should say, but something in their deep blue depths had Emma's heart fluttering. He looked so sincere and as if he genuinely cared about what he was about to say. In that moment, Emma found it very likely that she'd given a lot about herself away tonight, something she most rarely did. Aside from her two best friends, and the kids at the group home where she worked, no one knew the real Emma; no one ever got that close. Normally that would worry her, but with Killian, she had none of her instincts to run or hide. It was strangely liberating.

"You're protective, not just of yourself but of the people you care about. When you let someone in, you invest, likely because you felt like no one did the same with you when you were a child." Emma's mouth hung open at that comment. _How did he know?_

"You've built walls for the rest of the world, but sometimes you wonder what it would be like if you didn't, if you just let people in naturally. But most of the times you've tried, it's backfired and you've gotten hurt." Emma didn't think all of this was so evident. She'd spent years cultivating a cool exterior that people couldn't see through, but it was like he was deciphering her basic framework, decoding the hidden truths of who she was with ease.

"And?" She wanted him to go on. He scratched behind his ear and seemed to blush a little at her prodding but he looked her in the eyes and went on.

"You're kind, and generous, with a desire to do right by people, especially your kids. You know that life deals the cards at random, and sometimes people face the worst. But you're proof that they can get past that. You're also easily the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I've likely ruined my chances with you by putting my foot in my mouth with all of this."

Emma blinked at him for a moment, trying to wrap her head around everything that he'd said. She had a sixth sense about people, a superpower you could say, when she knew if people were lying. Killian Jones had spoken nothing but the truth, and she had to admit, she found his nervousness endearing. She smiled and watched as his own features lightened up with hope that he hadn't fucked everything up.

"I wouldn't say ruined. Though, to be honest with you, I'm a little freaked out that you were so spot on." Killian ran a hand through his hair.

"You're a bit of an open book, love. Besides, as an orphan myself, I could read the tell tale signs clear as day." Something clutched at Emma's chest. The fact that he could maybe understand, that he knew what it felt like to be abandoned, whether his parents had wanted to or not, it anchored her to him. She'd already been feeling his pull, like some sort of gravity, but now something had clicked, and where there had been trepidation, there was now only the stone cold truth – she was in danger of falling for Killian Jones.

"What's wrong with you?" He looked taken aback before she corrected herself. "Sorry, what I meant to say is, why are you still single?"

"Probably because I'm a lot like you, love. And to be honest, no one's ever made me question those instincts before. Until you." Emma pushed away from the table rising from her seat and extended a hand to him. He took it without hesitation as she led him out of the coffee shop. The city around them was still moving at its fast pace, with neon lights shining down, casting a distinct glow on Killian's face. Emma stepped forward and pulled him in for a kiss, one so good she couldn't help but think that she wanted it to be her _last_ first kiss. When Emma pulled away, she put space between the two of them, smiling at Killian's look of surprise and wanting.

"Okay date over." Before Killian could respond Emma put a hand up. "Killian would you like to go on a second date with me right now? Because I know your code of honor dictates no sex on the first date, and I respect that, but I'm not terribly fond of waiting." His responding smile was everything as he nodded.

"Aye love, I'd like that. And come to think of it, I have an idea." Taking her hand again, he hailed a cab and told the cabby to drive them to the Boston Public Library.

"I love the thought process, but you know they closed at 8 right?" Killian nodded, his arm wrapped around Emma, holding her closer as his other hand ran a light caress against her arm.

"Aye, love, but I have my contacts, and since you've sped up my timeline, I have to improvise."

"So you were planning on asking for a second date?" She teased.

"And a third, and a fourth. Emma, I was damn near tempted to ask you for forever that first day we met." Her breath caught and he tilted her chin up to meet his eyes. "Does that scare you, love? Because it bloody terrifies me." Emma shook her head.

"Actually, for once, it kind of doesn't." She pulled him in for another kiss, this one slower, more deliberate and an exploration of what existed between the two of them. It was steamy, probably too steamy to be doing in the back of a cab, but Emma didn't care, and was a little disappointed that the library hadn't actually been that far away.

When they arrived, Killian led her up the big stone steps and knocked four times in a distinct pattern. Within seconds a security guard had answered and was smiling at Killian jovially. The man was huge, and had definitely gone into the right line of work as someone who would deter people from trying to break in.

"Mr. Jones! So good to see you! Come in, come in." The man let Emma and Killian pass inside and Emma marveled at the library more dimly lit than it was during the day. It was a space she'd always loved, as long as she'd been in the city, but she'd never seen it like this.

"Tiny, I hope you don't mind, but I was hoping to bring Miss Swan here to the right wing." Tiny looked at Emma as if sizing her up and then turned back to Killian with a smile.

"Whatever you want. Here take this, though." The man handed Killian a flashlight and Killian thanked him before leading Emma on through the main space and towards a direction she'd never been in before.

"How do you know Tiny?" Emma asked.

"His brother, aptly referred to as Teeny, got into a bit of a scuffle with a neighbor of theirs who was roughing up his girlfriend. I got Teeny off of the bogus charges and have fallen into good favor from the family now." Emma had to smile at that.

"And that clearly has some major perks."

"That it does love, have a look." Killian opened the door to the mysterious right wing and Emma marveled at it, noting how much older it looked than the rest of the library. Where she'd expected dusty manuscripts, or perhaps construction, there was only a warmly lit, cathedral style ceiling with book stacks all over.

"This is beautiful." Killian smirked.

"You haven't seen anything yet, love." He led her down one of the hallways to a set of thick wooden doors. Emma had never known this wing existed, and she'd been here dozens of times. Whatever the aura surrounding this place was, it felt an awful lot like magic. With one solid tug, the doors came open and Emma was stunned into silence.

The room was large, and circular with a domed ceiling. She'd never seen anything like it, and certainly there was no telling that such a room existed from the outside. It also, surprisingly enough, housed no books… or did it. Upon further inspection, Emma realized that the seats that hugged at the walls were built into the room's structure, and scattered throughout were books built inside the wooden framework. From what she could tell they all were about astronomy. Seemed fitting, since the ceiling was intricately painted with the constellations above.

"Take a look this way, love." Killian procured a blanket from in between two of the chairs and laid it out in the center of the room, extending his hand so she'd joined him. She did, readily, lying beneath the ceiling, staring up at a starry sky.

"It's beautiful." Emma's words were a whisper. She had never dreamed a place like this could be real, but here it was. It was straight out of the pages of a novel, like the one's she'd read as a little girl, filled with secret rooms and harrowing adventures. She reached for Killian's hand and squeezed it. "I used to wish on the first star every night, when I was a kid."

"And what did you wish for?"

"A home. A family. Mostly I just wanted to be found, I wanted someone to see me and want me."

"I see you, Emma." The second part of the statement hung between them, but Emma knew he felt that too. There was no denying the pull between them.

Tearing her eyes away from the artwork and the overall appeal of the place and focusing back on Killian, Emma noted the intensity of his gaze. He was looking at her as if she held all the wonder, and not this magical little alcove. The surge that shot through her of wanting and excitement was heady, and if she hadn't been lying down, she might have felt a little swoon.

"I had it all planned. For our second date, I was going to take you out of the city, away from the lights and we would see the real stars. But I gather you like this too." Emma couldn't resist, she moved closer to him and kissed his lips with unrestrained passion. He met her beat for beat and when they finally came back up for air, she leaned her forehead against his.

"We can do that another time. Tonight, this is perfect." His hand held her cheek, and his thumb grazed across her lip.

"I've never had a moment when I suspected that I knew someone before, in a past life, in a different story, but with you I do." Emma nodded, understanding it as strange as it seemed.

 _Love at first sight._ The words crossed her mind and Emma smiled at the thought.

"What was that thought, love?" She shook her head.

"I'll tell you later. Now, tell me more about the stars." She looked back at the ceiling and took in every word of what he said, knowing that this night would mark the next chapter in her life to come.

It didn't take long for Emma to tell him about her feelings, that she'd loved him from the start, and they were of course reciprocated. Their 'courtship' (his words, not hers) was speedy, as neither of them was particularly fond of waiting, and one night, less than a year later, she and Killian stood in a field, far from the city at sunset and made the promises to have and to hold each other, in sickness and in health, for the rest of their days in front of a few close friends.

Over the course of the evening's celebrations, the stars had come out and Emma and Killian had slipped away for just a moment to look up at them. Though the inky night and the bright bursts of light scattered throughout hinted at a much larger Universe, Emma had never felt so complete, or so important. In the arms of the man she loved, the arms of her husband, she was understood and loved. So beautifully and truly loved.

…..

 _Friend, it's getting late  
We should be going  
We've been sat here beneath these flickering neons for hours  
While I am cracking their code, you are deciphering me  
For I am a mystery, I am a locked room in a tall tower_

 _Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?  
Oh, did you see the stars colliding, shining just to show we belong?  
We belong._

 _Your telescope eyes see everything clearly  
My vision is blurred but i know what i heard echoing all around  
While I am tuning you in, you are deciphering me  
Not such a mystery, not such a faint in a far away sound_

 _Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?  
Oh, did you see the stars colliding, shining just to show we belong?  
We belong._

 _It's love, it's love that holds us  
We will be alright  
It's truth, it's truth that shows us  
If we'll walk in this light_

 _Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?  
Oh, did you see the stars colliding, shining just to show we belong?_

 _Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home? (we belong)  
Oh, did you see the stars colliding, shining goes to show we belong?  
We belong._

 _ **Post-Note: Someone asked me the other day where the ideas for these fics come from, and I have to be honest, I have absolutely no idea. All I know is I love that a show has created characters I truly root for enough to imagine so many happy endings for them. So shout out to this amazing show, and the great fandom that has shown me a lot of love over the last few months. Hope you enjoyed and tune in for the next installment coming soon!**_


	27. Just Like in the Movies

_**A series of fluffy (and mildly smutty) encounters where Killian tries to romance Emma and things go wrong somehow. Finally, Emma asks Henry if he has any idea what's going on, and Henry lets him in on a solo mission that Hook's taken on – Operation Our World Wooing. Emma has to let Killian in on a little secret, stealing scenes from movies isn't necessary considering that they have the fairytale life and impending happily ever after all on their own. Inspired by 'Just Like in the Movies' by Jana Kramer. Much needed after last night in my opinion, and I hope you all enjoy!**_

Something had changed since she and Killian had gotten engaged, and Emma was having the damndest time trying to figure it out. The big things were the same, Killian was always there for her, ready with a smile and a gesture and his love. He was still the man she wanted, and she knew he always would be, but something was just… off. Usually she could track the logic of things that happened in their lives, and recently that hadn't been the case.

For instance, right now, when Emma awoke and Killian wasn't there. It hadn't been long that they'd been living together, but they had a routine. She was the early riser and that made for a lovely wake up, wrapped up in the warmth of the man she loved. Today, though, she was left cold and wanting. Throwing on a robe, she made her way down to the kitchen to see barely restrained chaos. Killian, with the assistance of a very amused Henry, was trying to make breakfast. No actually, by the looks of it, he was trying to make the breakfast brunch at the Ritz for about a hundred people. There was nearly every breakfast item known to man in here and not a clean dish in sight.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked them and watched as the two of them froze, looking at her and then cringing at the state of the place. She'd had to bite her lip to keep from laughing, because it truly was a sight.

"Breakfast." Killian could barely get the word out and Emma watched him flush a deep red as he scratched behind his ear. It was so strange to see him so embarrassed and she looked to her son to find him smiling like the cat who'd swallowed the canary. Clearly he found this funny.

"I don't get it. My scrambled eggs and cocoa not cutting it anymore?" Both replied immediately.

"Of course not, love!" tumbled from Killian's lips as Henry confessed "We were just trying to do something nice for you."

Emma had to smile at that. It was thoughtful, and she had the great fortune of possessing a little something called magic, meaning no one would have to clean this mess up. As they saw the softness cover her features, both of them sagged a bit in relief and Henry hastily made up a plate for her. Emma counted seven – _seven_ – different food items on the plate and they had not made it easy on themselves. No fruit slices for these guys.

When Henry turned back to grab his own food and Killian was busy procuring some for himself, Emma snuck a taste. _Blech_ , it was inedible. She genuinely had to fight off spitting it back out. Immediately, Emma snapped her fingers and felt as her magic whooshed to each plate. She hoped neither of them had any idea what she'd done, but she hated to think they'd wasted all this time on what could only be described as slop.

All seated together, Killian and Henry waited for Emma to take what they thought was her first bite. She hesitated slightly but finally committed, cutting into a waffle. Truth be told, she was sure they did not have a waffle maker before today, but then the treat was in her mouth and actually tasting good.

"This is great, you two. Thank you." Both of them beamed at her and dug in too.

"Wow this is way better than when I taste tested it! Maybe we didn't need to make three different batters for the crepes after all." Henry's musings sent a little pang coursing through Emma. They had really worked so hard, and it was extremely sweet of them. Her eyes moved to Killian's face, and she noted a bit of flour caught by his upper brow. She leaned in towards him, running a finger over he spot to get rid of it.

"You had a little something." Killian's eyes lingered on her face, searching for something, and Emma thought that maybe he knew what she'd done, that she'd used her magic. Would he be angry? No, who was she kidding. This was Killian.

"Sorry about the mess, Swan." She flicked her wrist and the entire kitchen was clean.

"What mess?" Henry nodded his approval.

"Alright! So no more chores!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, kid."

"I had to try. But I have to get going. I promised Roland I'd visit him today." Henry pushed away from the table and waved goodbye. Emma watched him go and then turned to Killian.

"So why did you really do this?" She didn't expect Killian to blush again, but he did. Mumbling incoherently about simply trying to ease some of he burden today. She reached her hand out to cover his.

"That is so incredibly sweet of you, but maybe we can leave breakfast to me from now on. Besides, while the food was great, I had a different sort of appetite when I woke up this morning that only you can help me with." The uncertainty in his eyes flashed to heat and desire in an instant and Emma internally sighed. There was her Killian, confident and sure of himself, and so interested in giving her everything she needed.

"Is that so, Swan?" His hands roamed over her waist, leaving a trail of spiraling heat in their wake.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" And he did, he most certainly did.

….

A few days later there was a nasty thunderstorm that shook the whole house with the force of the winds and the intensity of the rainfall. There was no evil that had prompted it, thank God, just that occasional show from Mother Nature to remind them all that there were other things that could be a threat. Normal, every day, human world with no magic things. Emma actually chuckled to herself considering that, and wondering if the depiction of 'Mother Nature' had a fairytale manifestation. At this point, it was more than likely. It was probable.

"I have an idea, love." Killian's voice came from behind where Emma had been lighting the last candle on the dining room table. They'd lost power about an hour before, and had opted to stay home instead of whooshing to someone's house who had a generator. They could stand a little time in the dark, and with Henry at Regina's candles could be kind of romantic.

Before she could ask him what he intended though, he was holding her hand, leading her outside onto the porch, where even under the roofing she could feel the bite of the wind and the wet droplets hit her face.

"Killian!" She had to yell over the sound of the thunder around them. "What are you doing?!"

"Asking you to dance."

 _Dance?! What the hell did he mean dance?_ But then his hand was on her hips and the cold she'd been feeling seemed to vanish. He led her out from under the roof and in seconds she was drenched, soaked through and so was he. She shook her head at him.

"Are you crazy?" A crack of lightening in the distance told her he had gone red again. Seriously, what was up with her pirate? What could possibly be going on in his mind, behind those puzzled but bright blue eyes?

"I very well might be for thinking this would be a good idea." Emma laughed at that, pulling him in closer for a kiss. The movies didn't really get this part right, because even though it was a moment, one that was unique and different, kissing in the rain wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing one could do.

"I have a better one." In an instant they were back in the house, standing on the tiled floor of the kitchen and Emma had to raise a hand to cover her mouth. The laugh bubbling up in her chest at the sight of Killian like this, literally sopping wet and hopelessly confused needed to be stopped, but she couldn't seem to tamper it down. What finally calmed it was the sight of him stripping the wet clothing off of his person. That, was not funny, that was hot.

"You can say it, Swan, I'm a bloody idiot." Emma hated the defeated tone of his words. She came up and ran a hand against his cheek as the other rested against his chest.

"No. So you had one bad idea. It happens to the best of us. But I think you forgot one critical thing."

"What's that, love?"

"We can dance inside just as easily as outside." She pressed a number of buttons on the universal remote that rested on the island before her. Then, through the speakers that were wired all through the first floor, the faint melody of one of Emma's favorite old standards came sounding through. Though it was a bit unconventional, what with the still wet clothes separating them, and the fact that Killian actually had managed to lose his shirt, now donning only pants, the dance was enjoyable, and fun.

Emma liked holding him close like this, letting her guard down and knowing that they'd tried to have a bit of a change, a bit of adventure without having to fight off some sort of evil overlord. That being said, one dance was enough for her, since she really wanted out of these clothes.

"There's a lot of really cheesy jokes I could make right now about horizontal tangos and sambas and so on, but I don't think you'll get them." Killian looked at her like what she'd said made absolutely no sense, because to him it didn't and Emma laughed. "Basically you holding me like this, makes me want that in a different setting… in our bed."

Emma shivered involuntarily, from the cold or her desire, she couldn't tell, but Killian immediately picked up on. Though she saw him cringe slightly, no doubt feeling guilty, he immediately took control and aimed to take care of her in the process.

"Perhaps a shower might be the better first course of action, Swan." She didn't think he'd meant to make it sound so dirty, but all Emma could think of was the warmth of the water coupled with his sixth sense about exactly what she wanted when they were together.

"Yes please." The words were breathy and Emma didn't even bother to walk the stairs, opting to use her magic again just to get them exactly where she wanted to be, which was naked together, in the master bathroom. Talk about a dream house. This shower… well let's say it was big enough to handle any sort of extra side activities she and Killian might be craving on a given morning.

Emma turned on the water, watching the glass steam up with the heat of it and eagerly jumped in, pulling Killian behind her. The warmth seeped across her skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat that Killian's touch ignited within her.

"Okay, so maybe the rain thing wasn't the worst idea," Emma confessed as Killian pinned her to the wall, his hand roaming across her breasts, then trailing lower to the vee between her legs. He moved her legs farther apart.

"Oh really, and why's that?" He asked knowing the answer full well. His thumb ran against her clit as he worked another finger into her and Emma gasped, gripping onto his arms for support and loving the dizzying sensation his touch left. His lips trailed over her neck, finding the pulse point and nipping lightly. Emma arched into him needing more.

"You know why." She felt him chuckle against her, felt the scruff of his beard trail the overly sensitive skin that was exposed where he'd just nipped.

"Aye I do, love. This I understand." Emma thought it was a kind of strange thing to say, but then she wasn't doing much thinking at all, except to marvel at how glorious Killian's mouth felt at her breasts as his hand worked her. She shattered but still he never relented, urging her legs to wrap around him so that her waiting heat and his cock were lined up perfectly.

"So good," the words were a prayer as she said them and she heard Killian's responding grunt and he thrust inside. Never, ever in her life had anything been like this. No man had been able to give her such enjoyable release within the confines of a shower, but with Killian, Emma knew never to doubt. Where there was a way, he would find it, he always did.

" _Fuck_ , Emma, let go." She did, feeling the tension that had coiled inside implode as her whole body coursed with that delightful post-orgasm hum. Killian had found his release too, and now, his forehead was against hers as they both tried to steady their breathing. She pulled back to look at him, really look at him and smiled.

"I love you," she said.

"As I love you." For the rest of the night, he showed her how much in the ways he knew she craved and Emma was extremely grateful.

…..

This was the last draw. Because seriously what was going on at this point? Emma paced around the emergency room in town as Killian was in with Doctor Whale getting stitches. Seems her pirate, loveable and thoughtful as he was, had been injured. Was he fighting off an evil foe? No. Was he running to save a citizen in distress? No. He was building her a telescope, a huge, adorable, but really and truly unnecessary telescope.

"What was he thinking?" Emma continued to pace as her mother, father, and Henry sat watching her.

"You know he's going to be okay, Emma, right?" Emma looked to her mother as if the comment was ridiculous.

"Of course he is _physically_. But something is wrong. He's been so strange lately. It's like he's with me one second and then doing something crazy the next. Did I do something?" Her voice cracked only slightly and her Dad rose to put a hand on her arm, steadying her and ending her need to move about.

"Emma, in spite of everything, Hook won us all over, and he is your true love. You didn't do anything, and I promise that whatever it is, it's manageable." The sincerity in her father's eyes calmed Emma somewhat, but still she couldn't help feel a lingering pull of insecurity. She needed to understand what was happening, she just hated not to know.

"Your father is right, Emma. Sometimes people just fall into a funk. And considering the fact that he was in the Underworld longer than the rest of us…" Emma nodded because of course she was right. Hell had an effect on all of them, maybe this was Killian's burden to bear in it's stead. Surely it wasn't so bad that it would ever keep him from loving him. Emma looked to Henry, though, and something clicked. Her son's expression told her he knew more than he was saying, and Emma's inquisitive instincts kicked into high gear.

"Henry… what do you know?" He ducked his head before sighing, admitting a quiet defeat.

"Operation Our World Wooing." Emma shared a look with her mother before replying.

"Come again, kid?"

"That's what I was calling Killian's new crusade. He asked me if I had any ideas about how courtship went in our world. Said he didn't want to be missing something." It dawned on her now that Henry, her well meaning if naïve son, had said something.

"And you told him…"

"I told him there's a whole genre of movies about this." Henry's eyes seemed bright, as if he still didn't get why telling a three hundred year old pirate from another realm that filmed distortions of this world were an accurate depiction of romance.

"Oh Henry, you didn't." Her mother covered her mouth to smother a laugh as her father rolled his eyes.

"It's not all Henry's fault. Killian should know better." Only really, how could he?

"I'm sorry, Mom. He was just a little nervous, and I wanted you to be happy. I didn't think he'd get hurt." Emma patted Henry's shoulder as she stepped beside him.

"Kid, someday you're going to meet someone who you will feel this crazy about, who you really want to impress. Do yourself and her a favor, just be yourself." With that Emma moved into the room where Whale and Killian were finishing up and Emma faced her embarrassed fiancé once more.

"Could you give us a minute, Doc?"

"Sure thing." Whale left, closing the door behind them and Emma came to sit beside Killian's bed.

"Look, Swan, I'm very sorry about the trouble I've caused you-" she silenced whatever apology was coming with a kiss, uninterested in hearing his reasons. She had enough of an idea to know exactly what needed to be done and what needed to be said. She pulled back and ran a finger along his bearded jaw.

"I don't need an apology, I just need you to listen to me, okay?" He nodded.

"I love you. I love _you_ , Killian Jones. One of the reasons I do is that you always look for ways to make me happy."

"Aye love." She shook her head silently reminding him that it was still her turn. He smiled almost sheepishly and she returned it.

"You don't need any help with that. Everything that you are is what makes you mine and what makes me proud to be yours. I want to marry you, not because I want a guy to dance in the rain with me, or build me telescopes that a University would envy, but because of the way you're eyes light up when I walk in the room. Or the way part of your smile ticks up before the other when you're trying to be playful. I want the part of you that's sharp and brilliant and brave. I want the real you. Got it?"

"I do, Swan, I do."

"What we have is so much better than a cheesy movie anyways, because we get everything, the good and the bad, and most importantly a future, together. You know what I mean?" He nodded once more.

"Yes, Emma. I understand you perfectly." Well that was easier than she thought. So she just kept going, feeling like she needed to say more.

"Besides, we are kind of our own fairytale. We're in the book, and this love between us is true. We're each other's second chance and we've faced countless foes and hope and belief has always gotten us through. If you think about it, we're like sickeningly movie-like already. So why you thought you needed-"

Now it was his turn to silence her with a kiss, reminding her that there was no need to get worked up. This thing between them was perfect for them, and really it was better that it wasn't a love _just_ like in the movies. It was better because it was real.

…

 _This is who I am_ _  
_ _This is what you get_ _  
_ _No time for the song and dance_ _  
_ _No, no, no apologies_ _  
_ _Take me as I am_ __

 _This is what I did_ _  
_ _This is what I've done_ _  
_ _Tell me baby, are you the one?_ _  
_ _Can you love me just the way I am?_ _  
_ _Say you love me_ __

 _Say you love me, love me not_ _  
_ _You love me not_ _  
_ _You say you love me_ _  
_ _What's it gonna be?_ _  
_

 _You could be my king_

 _I will be your queen_

 _This could be the real thing_

 _Just like in the movies_ _  
_ _The perfect ending_ _  
_ _We could be fairytaling, yeah_ _  
_ _The kiss, the whole thing_ _  
_ _Just like in the movies_ __

 _Babe with you and me it's a two-way street_ _  
_ _That's how it's gotta be, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _Taking on the good, the bad and the ugly_ __

 _You say you love me, love me not_ _  
_ _You love me not_ _  
_ _You say you love me_ _  
_ _What's it gonna be_ __

 _You could be my king_ _  
_ _I will be your queen_ _  
_ _This could be the real thing_ _  
_ _Just like in the movies_ _  
_ _The perfect ending_ _  
_ _We could be fairytaling, yeah_ _  
_ _The kiss, the whole thing_ _  
_ _Just like in the movies_ _  
_ _Just like in the movies_ __

 _Let the past be the past, no need to replay it_ _  
_ _Falling back whenever you say it_ _  
_ _Over and over and over again_ __

 _You could be my king_ _  
_ _I will be your queen_ _  
_ _This could be the real thing_ _  
_ _Just like in the movies_ _  
_ _The perfect ending_ _  
_ _We could be fairytaling, yeah_ _  
_ _The kiss, the whole thing_ _  
_ _Just like in the movies_ _  
_ _Just like in the movies_

 _ **Post-Note: So, as promised, here is my response to last night's insanity and the impending feels of next week. I hope you guys enjoy, really and truly, and as always, want to remind you guys that you can feel free to send requests for songs with prompts or not. I have a number on queue to come over the next two weeks, but the beauty of this series, is I will never run out of fluffy feelings about CS OR songs about love and hope and so on. Anyways, thanks for reading!**_


	28. Here

_**A/N: This chapter was based on a prompt from a lovely follower who asked for a Killian POV ficlet where he and Emma meet at a party and he's not interested in the festivities at all until seeing and meeting Emma. Inspired by "Here" by the incredibly talented Alessia Cara. Thank you for the suggestion, and thank all of you for reading!**_

If there was one thing Killian Jones knew about himself, it was that he had very little interest in the typical shenanigans of twenty somethings. That wasn't to say that he didn't get into trouble. His mates and him had raised a little hell in their time, but there were certain predictable problems that came when you gathered a bunch of random young people together. The party he was currently at thanks to much pleading from his mate David was a perfect example.

Take the bloke in the corner of this room, for instance. Holding a red cup filled with some horrid looking lime green liquid, the man's skin was near the same shade. Killian gave him thirty seconds before he'd boot everywhere, and Killian wanted nothing to do with that horror. He moved through the crowd searching for his friends and seeing only a sea of faces he didn't recognize.

He made his way to the kitchen and found a group of gossiping girls, all dressed in that god awful preppy way that seemed to be making a comeback. He tried to dodge their inane chatter, but one of the girls in question grabbed his arm and looked at him through drunkenly hazed-over brown eyes.

"Settle something for us – my friend here thinks that that girl over there," She waved at a blank wall where literally no one was, but it mattered not to the girl speaking "is cute, but I think she's got a big nose and buck teeth."

"Catherine! Cecily is our friend, you can't say that about her." But the friend who feigned shock clearly had no actual sadness at the cruel statement. Killian extracted himself from the woman's grasp and stepped back.

"There are certainly worse traits to have than a large nose. Like being a gossip, for instance." The woman's jaw dropped and Killian took his leave, hating this party more and more by the second.

"You look right pleased to be here, Killian." At the sound of his friend Will's voice Killian exhaled a sigh of relief. Finally, someone he knew.

"Why the fuck are we here, Scarlet?" Will shrugged.

"Got me. Nolan said his girl knew the host and wanted to stop by." Killian grumbled under his breath about anyone who knew these people and associated with them willingly was likely a mad man. Though he had to be honest, he liked Mary Margaret, Dave's girl who was responsible for their being here. She was a good person, bright and funny and a good match for his friend. She just seemed to have a bit of lackluster judgment about what to be doing in her free time.

"Excuse me, mate. I see a pretty little thing over there calling my name with her beautiful eyes." Killian nearly begged his friend to stay, hating being alone, but Will was gone and Killian was left on his own once more. He wandered throughout the house again, passing more of the same ridiculousness until stumbling upon a back porch of the house that seemed devoid of any unappealing partygoers. Though it was a bit chilly outside, Killian would brave it to be free of the noise and stench of marijuana everywhere.

"Not one for parties?" Killian turned quickly at the voice and his eyes landed on a gorgeous woman, whose posture told him that she had exactly the same ideas about this gathering. He immediately smiled, taking stock of her appearance. Beautiful blonde hair tucked under a gray beanie, big green eyes, perfect creamy skin and a slender figure covered in jeans and a red leather jacket. Instantly Killian felt he knew her and craved to know her better. Then he remembered she'd already posed a question and he tried to respond.

"I prefer to spend my precious personal time with people I actually care for, love. And you?" She nodded thoughtfully at his comment and then moved forward, extending a hand to him.

"I'm Emma." When their hands touched, Killian felt a jolt of electricity course through his whole body. It was a mix of recognition and desire that had him wanting to never let go, but let go he did as he ran a hand through his hair. She tracked the movement, and he smiled. Perhaps she felt it too. Her eyes were slightly wider, a faint flush creeping across her cheeks. He motioned to the deck chairs and let her go first, placing a light hand on her lower back and rejoicing when he saw the small shiver of delight that passed through her at the contact.

"So Emma. How did you end up here tonight?" She shook her head at that.

"My friend Ruby is dating the dumb ass who owns this place." Killian covered his mouth, but not before a bit of barked out laughter got out. Emma laughed at his response, a beautiful, genuine sound that had Killian's heart stopping short. He'd never heard a sound so lovely and so incredibly enticing at the same time.

"I take it you don't approve." Emma straightened and nodded.

"He's a frat boy through and through. Works at Daddy's banking firm but can't add two and two. You know the type."

"I certainly do, love. Terribly infestation of them around this city I'm afraid."

"Someone could make a killing if they could cure it."

"Aye they would. So if you don't work at Daddy's banking firm, what do you do?" Emma smiled at his joke and bit her bottom lip before responding.

"I work with runaway teens over at Hope House on Bryant Street." Killian had heard of the place actually, and was very impressed that Emma was not only stunning and clearly funny, but was obviously kind and patient as well.

"That's very admirable of you, Swan."

"They say to do what you know. I know what it's like to be those kids, and I know that given the right chance, they can be more than the person with no place to call home. They can find where they belong." Killian was stunned into silence at how open and honest she was. She ducked her head, clearly embarrassed. "Sorry, I don't know where that came from, I don't usually talk about this stuff with strangers."

Unwilling to let her retreat back into her shell, Killian touched her hand and she looked at him immediately with questioning in her eyes.

"There's no need to be sorry, Emma. You can tell me anything." Despite their knowing each other only a matter of minutes, the words were true, and after a small pause, Emma smiled at that. When she did, he felt as if the world was somehow brighter. How could this woman affect him so? And why didn't he want it to end?

"What was that thought?" She asked, pulling him from his internal musings.

"I was thinking that this party might not be as horrible as first believed. In fact, talking with you has made it one of my favorite to date." That pulled an eye roll from Emma but she still smiled.

"You always this charming?"

"I'm nothing compared to my friend Dave." Emma's eyes flashed in recognition.

"David Nolan?" Killian nodded and was about to ask how she knew that when the back door opened.

"There you are, Emma. Oh and Killian! How do you two know each other?" Mary Margaret was standing there hand in hand with David and it dawned on Killian that there was a connection here he hadn't anticipated. He and Emma both stood and Emma spoke.

"We just met actually." David looked at Killian who gave a discrete nod. A silent exchange passed between the two that essentially boiled down to – _do you like her?_ Yes. _Alright, don't fuck this up for me and my girl._ Wasn't gonna.

"Well we were thinking of bailing. I love Ruby but this party kind of stinks." Mary Margaret's earnestness pulled a smile from Emma who then looked back at Killian with an arched brow.

"You don't say. So what do you think Jones, up for a change of scenery."

"I will follow you wherever you lead, Swan." And though he didn't realize it at the time, that statement was true on a fundamental level. After ditching the party, the four of them had an excellent night out which led to a first date, and then a second and so on and so forth. And through it all, through the years and years that Emma and Killian were together enjoying a happily ever after, they often found it funny that a party they'd both so thoroughly detested had actually given them the things they loved the most – each other.

….. 

_I guess right now you've got the last laugh_

 _I'm sorry if I seem uninterested  
Or I'm not listenin' or I'm indifferent  
Truly, I ain't got no business here  
But since my friends are here  
I just came to kick it but really  
I would rather be at home all by myself not in this room  
With people who don't even care about my well-being  
I don't dance, don't ask, I don't need a boyfriend  
So you can go back, please enjoy your party  
I'll be here, somewhere in the corner under clouds of marijuana  
With this boy who's hollering I can hardly hear  
Over this music I don't listen to and I don't wanna get with you  
So tell my friends that I'll be over here_

 _Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh  
I ask myself what am I doing here?  
Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here  
And I can't wait till we can break up outta here_

 _Excuse me if I seem a little unimpressed with this  
An anti-social pessimist but usually I don't mess with this  
And I know you mean only the best and  
Your intentions aren't to bother me  
But honestly I'd rather be  
Somewhere with my people we can kick it and just listen  
To some music with the message (like we usually do)  
And we'll discuss our big dreams  
How we plan to take over the planet  
So pardon my manners, I hope you'll understand  
That I'll be here  
Not there in the kitchen with the girl  
Who's always gossiping about her friends  
So tell them I'll be here  
Right next to the boy who's throwing up cause  
He can't take what's in his cup no more  
Oh God why am I here?_

 _Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh  
I ask myself what am I doing here?  
Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here  
And I can't wait till we can break up outta here_

 _Hours later congregating next to the refrigerator  
Some girl's talking bout her haters  
She ain't got none  
How did it ever come to this  
I shoulda never come to this  
So holla at me I'll be in the car when you're done  
I'm standoffish, don't want what you're offering  
And I'm done talking  
Awfully sad it had to be that way  
So tell my people when they're ready that I'm ready  
And I'm standing by the TV with my beanie low  
Yo I'll be over here_

 _Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh  
I ask myself what am I doing here?  
Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here  
And I can't wait till we can break up outta here_

 _Oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh_

 _ **Post-Note: Hope that you guys enjoyed the story, and again, thank you to the awesome reader who prompted this story idea for me. As you guys can see, this is my third Alessia Cara song featured in this playlist collection. She is amazingly talented, so expect more of her songs in future, and you should all be listening to her music! Anyways, hope you are all enjoying your weekend!**_


	29. Sweetest Devotion

_**Post- Underworld fic that depicts three critical moments for my Captain Swan loves. What do those include? Proposal, wedding, and baby of course. All inspired by 'Sweetest Devotion' by Adele.**_

"Emma, love, there's no need to rush. We're home now - back from the bloody Underworld. I think we've earned a more leisurely pace." As Emma held Killian's hand in hers she slowed, trying to reign in all these feelings swirling around inside of her. Everything had been so go-go-go as they fought their way through hell, she couldn't seem to relax, to let herself just be. With Killian she wanted that though.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just anxious for the good part." Killian arched a brow in confusion, though his eyes showed a softness that spoke of patience and trust in her vision for whatever came next.

"The good part of what, Swan?"

"Us, together. You know, the happily ever after we're fighting for." Killian scratched at his ear, clearly a bit flustered at her big declarations. As if following him to the Underworld hadn't been action enough.

It had been touch and go down there for a while, especially in the face of the past. For Killian, there had been a misguided belief that Emma and the others were risking themselves for someone who didn't deserve it – himself. He grappled with it, going so far as to say he should just move on and spare the others the turmoil of his revival, but Emma Swan wasn't the type of person to accept stupid ideas as the truth, or settle for a life without hope, at least not now. He'd been much of the force in her life that had changed the old guarded Emma into a more open, invested person. Yes, her parents and her son had a lot to do with that, but when it came to her heart, there was only one man who Emma could truly be free with, and she'd demanded that he see that. Emma was aware that when she made demands it was near impossible for him to deny her.

"Did you have a particular step in mind?" She nodded, rounding the corner so that now they stood in front of their home, and not the inverted Underworld version, but theirs.

"Moving in together is a start, but I think we might need a bit more, to be honest." Emma watched as the surprise on his face grew and she felt a strange sort of certainty that this was the moment.

"Killian Jones, will you marry me?" Immediately his hands came to wrap around her, pulling her so she was a breath away from his lips.

"Isn't it I who should be asking you for your hand in marriage?" Emma was about to respond with an echo of their first date banter when he kissed her so surely and with so much passion all words flew from her mind. When he pulled back his eyes his words implored her to stay where she was on the porch. He was gone within the house for less than a minute before he returned, with a black box in hand, small enough for a ring.

"Killian," Emma felt the tears stinging at her eyes. He'd already been thinking of this, of course he had. She should have known. When he popped open the box, the tears fell, for sitting there was the perfect ring, and he was going to give it to her. She had to bite her tongue to keep from saying yes before he even asked her anything.

"Emma Swan, I love you, more than anything in the world, and I want you to know that to me there can be nothing better than to stand by your side. A few times now I've given into doubt, thought that perhaps the world was too against us. But each time you remind me that there is nothing your love and your hope and your passion cannot achieve, and that together we can break through every low point in the hopes of our happiness." He ran his fingers over the spilled tears on her face, trying to catch them.

"In truth, Emma, I think I needed to go to Hell and back to realize that this thing between us is something we _both_ deserve. Now that I see that clearly, know that there is nothing that will make me waiver again. I am yours now and forever, Emma. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Killian, I will marry you." He placed the ring on her finger and without hesitation she pulled him in close for another kiss, finally feeling like things were what they should be. With a puff of her magic, Emma changed the venue from the more public street view, to the intimacy of the bedroom, _their_ bedroom.

"I think it's about time we break the house in, don't you?" Emma asked as she took of her jacket and then the rest of her clothes. Killian tracked every motion as if she were the most fascinating thing that had ever existed.

"Aye, Swan." His voice was gruff, and changed with emotion, just how Emma liked it.

"Good. Lose the clothes, Jones."

"As you wish."

…

There weren't too many elements of the wedding taking place today that Emma was completely devoted too, and of the things that she had an opinion on, none compared to the dress. It was a beautiful ivory color, made of the softest sort of fabric that clung to her and every curve while still feeling breathable. It's intricate lace design and the sleeves reminded her of Camelot, and thought that was literally the _'dark times'_ of her life, there were still good moments, moments largely given to her by Killian, the man she was about to claim as hers for now and always in front of the whole town.

"Oh, Emma." Emma's eyes moved from her dress's reflection to her mother's eyes, as she stood behind her. In their blue depths were happy tears left unshed that were just beginning to spill over. She knew her mother was likely thinking back to the special evening they'd shared. With her long flowing hair and more delicate wreath of wild flowers, Emma really embodied the spirit of a celebration back in the Enchanted Forest and that was what she wanted, to be the princess today. Only this time, she was more than the conflicted mess of light and dark, struggling to hold onto the hope that her family and Killian could bring. Now, she was sure of herself and the love in her life. Nothing could be clearer to her than that she belonged right here, in this moment, with these people who she loved more than life itself.

"I love you, Mom," Emma whispered as she turned and hugged her. Cherishing the warmth of her mother's embrace and the somewhat predictable hiccups caused by her crying.

"I love you too, Emma. So much." There was no doubt of that in Emma's mind or heart. Her parents had shown her time and again that they would love her forever and always fight to give her the best chance they could. Emma only wished she could have known during all those years of loneliness that all of it would be worth it. All that time of pain and questioning, of yearning for something she didn't even believe was possible was worth going through a hundred times since it led her here.

A knock sounded at the door, and her father poked his head in, freezing as he looked past his wife to Emma. He was stunned, and if Emma had to guess, just as emotional as her mother even if he did manage to keep from crying. His voice warbled slightly though as he asked if she was ready.

"I've never been more ready for anything." At that her father laughed.

"What's so funny?" Snow asked, suddenly pulled from the crying as David shook his head.

"It's just that Killian said the exact same thing when Henry asked him that question."

"Well of course he did, David. It's true love." And with that, her mother was off to her seat amongst the others and Emma took David's arm. They moved outside of the house, where Emma had been readying herself into the yard that over looked the ocean where everything had been arranged beautifully thanks to the meticulous planning of her mother.

The walk felt like it took forever, but then she saw him and all thoughts of impatience flew out of her mind. Emma wanted to see her future husband like this always, a little awe struck by her and very _very_ happy. In his eyes she saw that hopeful gleam that so often greeted her coupled with something she too felt clinging to every part of her – rightness.

When David released Emma, she placed a kiss to his cheek and whispered _'I love you Dad,'_ watching as his eyes too turned misty. But then he was patting Killian's shoulder in a gesture of their ever increasing friendship and returning to his seat. Emma turned to Killian and took his hand in hers.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered hear today to join the lives of Killian and Emma together in the sight of all their friends and family."

"And the forces of good and evil," Henry added, much to the entertainment of the audience and his mother and step father-to-be.

"Right, and those," Archie agreed as he continued on. Emma could barely hear him though, she was so lost in Killian's expression and smile. Her whole being was filled with this incredible warmth, as if the sun was shining on her soul and lighting up any remaining shadows that may have remained.

"Ahem, love?" Killian motioned around them and Emma noted the current of flower petals that were spiraling around them through the air in an intricate sort of wind cycle. Seemed Emma's magic had run away with the intensity of her emotions. After a moment of appreciating just how beautiful the pinks and purples were as they swirled around, Emma released them back to their scattered places amongst the ground.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Never be sorry for being exactly who you are, love." Emma couldn't help it. She stole a quick kiss and though there was some teasing from both her father and Regina at the display, Emma waved it off, ordering Archie to keep going. Then it was time for the vows, and Emma wanted – no _needed_ – to go first. She fought through the rapidly building lump in her throat, determined to get this out, to have this said.

"Killian, you often remind me that life and happiness are about finding our moments and taking them, but I know that sometimes, fate steps in, it takes control and it sets us on a path. Like the moment our paths crossed, a world away from here both in space and feeling. I was guarded and scared and afraid. Nothing and no one could convince me that I was worthy of love or that I could give it without being hurt, aside from my determined believer of a son." Emma's eyes flicked over to Henry's who stood besides Killian smiling widely, before returning to Killian's.

"Within hours of knowing me you asked for something that I had no idea how to give – you asked for my trust. I wasn't ready then, but sure enough, through actions more than words you showed me that I could trust you, that of everyone you are the person who can see me and want me and stay. Your devotion to me and to us is the sweetest gift, the thing I cherish most, because I love you so much. I will always love you and I promise to always trust, to always believe in you and in us." The tears appeared now, and Killian quickly brushed them away.

"Emma." Killian paused and smiled. "Love was my sworn enemy when we met, and as such, the man you met at our first encounter was hollowed out, filled with nothing but a blind quest for vengeance as a means of relief that would never come. Not until you did I realize that the way back to the man I was, the man I could be again, was through the light instead of darkness. It was through you, your bravery, your brilliance, and your beauty that I found my way. Now I walk through life with purpose, with hope and with a love in my heart so strong it will never be tampered. Nothing and no one could quench this fire within me, or quell this song that sings only for you within my heart.

"We've made a habit of following each other to the ends of the world and time in hopes of a future together. I will continue to do so for the rest of my life and likely beyond, for you, Emma Swan, are the single most wonderful thing that has ever existed. Loving you is a privilege, one I will never take for granted, and one I will bear proudly. I vow to make sure not a day goes by where you don't know that and where you don't see it."

"With that, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may-"

Who was Archie kidding? Emma and Killian most certainly did not need anyone's permission, and the sealed their marriage union with a kiss so heartfelt that the light surrounding them tinted with color, and the guests in attendance couldn't deny the truth of the love before them.

….

Every fifteen minutes. That's how often Emma was waking every night with the need to check on Hope. Call her overly cautious, or paranoid or just plain crazy, but she was worried for her daughter. _Her daughter_. A full week after her arrival, Emma was still not used to saying it. Just the thought that this little girl was hers, half Killian, half herself made her so happy and so proud.

She was currently staring down at the dear little girl who over the past few months, had become so much. Her name needed no explaining, for it was through her namesake that the love between her parents and the reuniting of her family had even been possible. Things were a constant battle, and more often than not, Emma and the rest of her family felt overwhelmed with the burdens of heroes. What they all wouldn't give for some reprieve. But the sleeping girl knew none of that, and instead she slept soundly, looking so beautiful already with her dark brown hair and now closed green eyes.

"Emma, love, you need your sleep." Killian's voice from the doorway had Emma turning and she couldn't help but stare. Her husband was sinfully attractive and she'd never be able to stave off her attraction to him, especially with his hair all tossed about from sleep and his chest exposed from sleeping without a shirt. It had Emma wanting to crawl into his arms and never let go, but still the worry tugged at her. Someone needed to protect their little girl, their princess.

"Killian, I can't." Emma's voice sounded defeated even to her own ears, but Killian only shook his head and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.

"Regina gave me this today, and I put it by the lamp for you to see." Emma had been so tired from all the incomplete sleep that she hadn't even noticed it. She read it now. It was a spell of protection that Emma could cast that would also tell Emma and Killian when Hope needed them.

"Of course Regina has a magical baby monitor." Killian's blank stare was interrupted by his yawn and Emma felt the tugs of exhaustion too. Quickly she cast the spell and when she was sure it was cast and strong and filled with enough love to protect a whole country, never mind a tiny infant, she took Killian's hand and headed back to bed.

"I'm sorry for waking you." He paused in the hallway and kissed her softly. When Emma opened her eyes again Killian's were filled with honesty and love.

"Never be sorry for loving our daughter so fiercely, Emma. Just know, that I will never let anything happen to our family. The world may be a strange and dangerous place, but it's nothing we can't handle if we're together."

"Together. Always." They headed back to bed, and in the warm embrace of Killian's arms, Emma drifted into her first truly restful sleep in ages. Thank heavens, little Hope gave them lots of time to recover, but that of course would not last. For as the product of true love, and the daughter of a princess and a pirate, little Hope was destined for a life of adventure and excitement, even if it did drive her parents a little insane with worrying.

….

 _With your loving, there ain't nothing  
That I can't adore  
The way I'm running, with you, honey..._

 _Is we can break every low  
I find it funny that you're the only  
One I never looked for  
There is something in your loving  
That tears down my walls_

 _I wasn't ready then; I'm ready now  
I'm heading straight for you  
You will only be eternally  
The one that I belong to_

 _The sweetest devotion...  
Hitting me like an explosion  
All of my life!  
I've been frozen!  
The sweetest devotion I've known_

 _I'll forever be whatever you want me to be  
I'll go under and all over for your clarity  
When you wonder if I'm gonna lose my way home  
Just remember, that come whatever  
I'll be yours all alone..._

 _I wasn't ready then  
I'm ready now  
I'm heading straight for you  
You will only be eternally  
The one that I belong to_

 _The sweetest devotion  
Hitting me like an explosion  
All of my life  
I've been frozen  
The sweetest devotion I've known_

 _I've been looking for you, baby  
In every face that I've ever known  
And there is something about the way you love me  
That finally feels like home_

 _You're my life, you're my darkness  
You're the right kind of madness  
And you're my hope, you're my despair  
You're my scope, everything, everywhere_

 _The sweetest devotion  
Hitting me like an explosion  
All of my life, I've been frozen  
The sweetest devotion I've known_

 _Sweetest  
It's the sweetest!  
Sweetest  
It's the sweetest!_

 _Sweetest  
It's the sweetest!  
Sweetest  
It's the sweetest!_

 _Devotion...!_

 __ _ **Post-Note: I needed the trifecta in preparation for tonight's episode. If I survive this, it will be surprising because all of the promos and spoilers have me already dying of feels. Nevertheless, when in doubt, find the fluff, and that was the guiding principle for this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed, and as always thanks for reading!**_


	30. Cater to You

_**A/N: This fic sparked from a follower prompt for 'newly pregnant Emma and Killian being all adorable by catering to Emma's every need, maybe sexual needs too.' Coming right up follower. This was exceptionally fun to write. Hope everyone enjoys and thanks so much to my lovely follower who requested it! Loosely inspired by 'Cater 2 You' by Destiny's child.**_

 _ **3 months**_

When the swirling in her stomach got so bad she thought she'd never feel good again, Emma had to cling to the happy moment of when she'd found out just a few weeks ago that she was pregnant. It had happened one morning. She'd woken up and she'd just known. Regina thought it might have been Emma's magic coupled with the true love status of any child conceived with Killian that would cause such a premonition, but just an hour later, with the multiple tests as evidence, she had her truth – she was in fact expecting.

Killian had been ecstatic which made her so happy, because this was exciting, something she'd never gotten to do before, even if she might have had memories that said otherwise. To think this time too that she wouldn't be alone, that she'd have the man that she loved by her side, well that couldn't feel any better. And she did mean by her side, for Killian had barely left the immediate perimeter surrounding her since hearing the news, instinctively upping his tendency to try and keep her safe now that he was guarding two precious lives.

Her family had been thrilled, no one more so than Henry, who with each new addition to the family, whether it be an aunt or a step parent or a sibling, was finding more and more joy and more and more love. Her son truly was exceptional, and the thought that he would be the big brother to the little boy or girl they'd all come to meet in six months time always brought a smile to her lips, until a wave of nausea quickly knocked it back.

Maybe it had been foolish of Emma to think that she already knew everything there was to know about pregnancy, but to her it had seemed rational to assume that since she'd had next to no problems with Henry, she would also have no problems with this new baby. Yet that was not the case, and she was just finishing a solid second week of these disgusting bug-like symptoms. She dearly wished it would just pass already.

"I read that morning sickness is often more severe if you're carrying a girl, and you were far worse than Neal was," her mother told her as she held Emma's hair back in the bathroom of the police station. Emma shook her head, not understanding how women did this and kept going through their day. She wanted nothing more than to curl up at home and sleep to the next stage of whatever was coming. That being said, she was also terrified, because while so many things were going well right now, she felt like maybe the Universe would somehow try to throw her a curveball, and at only eighteen weeks, she was already so protective of her unborn child.

"It'll be worth it as long as they're healthy and safe." Her mother rubbed her back gently.

"They will be, Emma. You and Killian will make sure that they are." Emma stood up with that, brushing her teeth for what felt like the hundredth time today. Before she could ask her Mom some more about what to expect, though, Killian's voice could be heard outside of the bathroom. Both Emma and Snow put their ears to the door to hear him better.

"Jeez, Killian did you rent out every book in the library?" Emma heard a thud in response to her father's question and a sigh from Killian.

"Aye, Dave I did. And you know what they all say? That there's essentially nothing I can do aside from wait it out with her." Snow opened the door a crack, so they could see just enough of the interaction while not drawing attention to themselves. Though Emma was somewhat mortified to be spying, she was still curious enough to do so.

"Just a few weeks left and then the worst will be over." Killian ran a hand through his hair at her father's words and used his hook to flip through the pages of what Emma recognized as the journal he'd been filling up with any and all 'decent' advice about pregnancies from people in town.

"What's this, stuff?" David motioned to the paper grocery bag that Killian had also put on the table.

"Belle said that the only thing that worked for her was peppermint tea, while Ella said she drank ginger-ale for a solid month. Snow said that she could only keep down white bread, and when I asked Tinkerbelle if there was some sort of fairy concoction I should know about, she informed me that berries were used in the enchanted forest when there was no magic to be had." Emma wanted desperately to go out to Killian and tell him just how wonderful he was for caring this much, but another wave of nausea hit, and before her mother could shut the door, Emma was sick again, drawing Killian's attention.

"Care for a substitution, love?" He asked as he came beside her, relieving her mother of the crappy job like it was his honor and his right. Emma looked back up at him when the sickness had passed and tried to understand how he could be this good to her.

"I'm so sorry, Emma." He whispered as he moved a lock of her hair from her face and she shook her head.

"I'm not. I'm taking it as a good sign – only fantastic kids are worth this kind of trouble right?" Killian smiled and nodded.

"Any child of ours is destined to be just that, Swan." He helped her to her feet and through the same cycle of trying to get herself back together just as her mother came in with a cup of the peppermint tea.

"You really went all out on the research, huh?" Emma asked and Killian nodded. "Find anything else out of interest." Then he was scratching behind his ear, and Emma leaned in closer so he could whisper low enough that her mother wouldn't hear.

"Once this part passes, you'll likely be wanting more." Emma cocked an eyebrow up at that.

"Wanting more what?"

"Of me, and my particular skill set that makes your nights so joyous." Emma's eyes grew bigger at the thought, and it was like just the words were enough to spark that wanting in her. Now she was desperate for this part to be over, because an overactive sex drive would be oh so much better than this.

"I think that part we can handle." He grinned at that before kissing her forehead gently.

"There's no doubt in my mind that we shall, Swan."

….

 _ **5 months**_

"Jones, I swear to God, if you do not stop smiling, I am going to lose it. I can't handle this much happy right now." Regina's huffy exterior was something that Killian knew better than to mess with, but he couldn't appease her request if he tried. The past few months had easily been some of the best of his life, and there was simply no hiding that, for every time he sobered up, his thoughts returned to Emma. Not only was the love of his life carrying his child, she was also constantly demanding sex, and this was easily the best conundrum he'd ever found himself in. What a problem to have, to constantly be required to make love to your wonderful wife.

"God, even in silence I swear I can hear your thought process right now, and I can't stand it." Killian couldn't help but grin again, as he leaned against the counter at Granny's, waiting on his order for himself and Emma. He personally felt he was being rather tame. Usually, Emma was bombarding him with those text message things trying to get him riled up, but today there was relative silence as he made his usual lunch trip for the two of them.

"Is it against the laws of Storybrooke now for a man to be happy?" Regina raised a brow to him and shook her head slightly.

"No, but you and Emma are starting to draw attention to the… _situation_ , and people are beginning to talk." Killian huffed at that, because he was already aware of such gossip. Truthfully, his only worry had been for Henry, who was off on a two-month summer excursion with some of his mates and teachers from school in the northern woods of Maine. By the time the lad returned, this period, glorious as it was, should be behind them.

"People are always talking, love, what else is there to do here when there's no monsters about?" Regina raised her glass to that just as Granny came with his food order.

"That'll be seventy-three, sixty." Regina let out a barked laugh as Killian settled the bill, not that he could blame her. It was a crazy amount of money to spend at Granny's for two people, but he'd never deny his Emma anything. If she wanted to bury herself in grilled cheese and onion rings, he was damn well going to enable that.

"Remember what I said, Killian." Regina warned as he grinned back at her.

"I will, but no promises." With that he was off, back on a mission to feed his Swan, making good time back to the station.

"Emma, love?" No response, so Killian set the food down on her desk, looking for any sign of her. "Emma?"

"Back here," she called down the hallway, and Killian moved that way to find her, only to have her grab him, dragging him into a supply closet. With a flick of her wrist and a puff of her magic, she locked the door behind her.

"Fancy seeing you here, Swan." But the teasing was soon gone from his mind and his tone as he watched her unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing with haste.

"Lose the clothes, Killian." His hand came to run through his hair as he looked back to the door.

"Someone could happen upon us here, love." She smiled and shook her head, and the brightness in her green eyes was undeniable.

"I sent my Dad on a wild goose chase for my baby blanket. I told him it was at the loft, when I really know it's at our house. That should buy us at least an hour." By now Emma was standing before him in just her bra and panties, looking glorious, her stomach rounded somewhat from the presence of their child. Just the sight of her had him hard and wanting instantly, and he dared not to argue when her hands moved to the button of his jeans and undid them.

"You're sure you want this, Emma?" She nodded, and that was all the affirmation he needed. He boxed her against the wall as he peeled off the jacket he'd worn and the t-shirt beneath it. He took pride in Emma's lustful looks, but focused on harnessing that lust into the ultimate release she was craving. He loved a challenge, and keeping Emma satisfied when she was this wound up with need was one of the toughest he'd faced, but he was certain she'd find him up to the task.

His hand moved down below her the seam of her panties as he urged her legs wider, and he took stock of every change in breath, every flutter of her eyelids, and each uptick in her pulse to see exactly what she wanted. When Emma started moving against his hand, losing control of herself, trying to take what she needed, it only drove him crazier, and he picked up the pace, reveling in her release as if it was his own.

Before she could say anything else, though, he was kneeling before her, and bringing her legs up over his shoulders so he could carry her weight more effectively. He watched as she pressed her head back against the shelf, readying herself for what was to come, but she still started at the first swipe of his tongue on her sex.

"Oh my god, that's so good." She was panting already, and Killian smiled against her before sucking on her clit, sending her into a series of spasms. She was using her red leather jacket to try and muffle her cries, but it could only do so much, as Killian had her writhing and moaning with how good his ministrations felt. In a rare moment of clarity, she waved her hand towards the door again, no doubt to block the sound from anyone who did happen to come near, but that was all she could think to do before he'd consumed her whole being with pleasure. When she neared another peak, Killian pushed her forcefully over, and the savored the aftermath, taking advantage of her overly sensitive skin and building her back up to a slower, more satisfying orgasm.

If he hadn't mastered his prowess over Emma's body by the pregnancy, he most certainly had now, as he applied pressure to exactly the right places and slid his hook behind her knee to the back of her thigh. He felt her sharp inhale of breath at the cool contact and then watched as her eyes closed and she abandoned any semblance of control, now arching her heat against his face demanding more. He happily obliged, almost sorry to see how quickly she was able to find her climax, but he knew that later, when they'd returned to the private confines of their home, he could give _Mrs. Jones_ all the slow and languid love making he wanted. Now though, they were in a bit of a time crunch.

Killian moved up making sure to hold Emma's hip to assess that she was able to stay upright. Where in the past, three orgasms might have had Emma spent, the Emma of the present still held that look of hunger in her eyes as she pulled him by the nape for a kiss, growling as she tasted herself on his tongue.

"Your choice, love. Against the wall or on the desk?" Emma's eyes flashed and she motioned towards the desk, which Killian relocated them to in a flash. Once there, Killian needed no preamble, pushing his already unbuttoned jeans down to his knees as he entered Emma. She, meanwhile, held on to his muscled arms while burying her head and her moans against his neck and shoulder.

It was fast, and as hard as Killian would ever let himself go with Emma in such a state, no matter what any bloody doctors had to say about it. She and their child's safety would always come first, but he'd discovered a rhythm that set Emma's desires aflame, and an angle that stimulated that spot deep within for her. He coupled the ministrations with his fingers light pressure against her clit, and she was gone, pulling him with her as she tightened around him. She bit down on his shoulder to keep from screaming, and Killian was thrilled. To bear her mark for the next few days would be like a badge of honor. He'd done his duty, after all, he'd finally seemed to sate her, even if it was only temporary.

"How'd I get so lucky?" Killian laughed at that as he helped her clean up before getting them both dressed.

"You pulled your husband into a supply room and demanded to be ravished, love." Then her fingers were brushing against his cheek softly, causing his heart to pull towards her. She was smiling that dazzling smile that she saved only for when she was truly happy and he wanted to kiss her, but he held back, sensing she had more to say.

"I was talking about the husband part in general. How'd I find a guy who loves me so much and does that so well pretty much on call?" Killian took Emma's hand in his and kissed her palm.

"It's hardly a hardship, Emma, to love my wife as she sees fit." Emma shook her head before kissing him on the lips lightly.

"I love you so much."

"As I love you, Mrs. Jones. Now come on, lets fill you with grilled cheese and onion rings enough to keep the child happy." Emma laughed as she held onto his arm the rest of the way back where she did just that.

The next few weeks continued on in quite the same way, with random texts and calls and surprise visits from Emma. She started calling them 'stolen moments' as an homage to how often they were trying to find just a moment of peace in the thick of their lives as heroes. Yet, they were anything but stolen, as Killian gave them freely, loving every second of them always. He thanked the Gods every day that they were bringing him not only the gift a child, but the gift of a healthy, happy and horny wife. There was surely no denying his good fortune.

….

 _ **8 months**_

"This is what it feels like to be a walrus, I'm sure of it." Emma groaned as she took a seat at the station desk and debated examining some paperwork. Her father and Henry hovered nearby, looking torn between commenting and keeping quiet. The former finally won out for her father.

"Emma, the baby is due in two weeks, you should really be home resting. There's no need to come in. to work" She could hear the unsaid implication in his voice – things had been quiet almost the entire length of her pregnancy, so there was little to do as a Storybrooke Sherriff, but Emma couldn't bear another day just sitting around in bed. It's not like she was ever comfortable there, at least not when Killian was away from her side. The whole baby inside her element had her needing to pee one second and suffering from backaches the next. Couple that with her swollen ankles and she was a ray of fucking sunshine.

"Whale said that she's ready and healthy. She could come any time, and I would rather like if she was early, since then I'll be back on the road to normal." Henry murmured something under his breath and Emma arched a brow at him. "Come again kid?"

"I said you were never normal, Mom." Emma chuckled low at that.

"I guess not. But I _was_ human, and right now, I do not feel that way." Henry nodded as if he could somehow understand, which of course he couldn't but then a text came into his phone and a smile appeared on his face.

"No worries, Mom, I have a feeling things are gonna get better soon, you'll see." Emma huffed, knowing something was up, but appreciating how good her son was. He'd been such a champ all this time, and she was willing to forego demanding answers because of it.

"Always with the belief, kid." Henry gave her a quick hug before heading out on some unidentified errand, leaving her there with a very worried David. Emma shouldn't have found her Dad's anxiety so funny, but she did. Even if it was cute and lovely, it was still something she had to laugh at.

"Dad, I'm fine, really." He nodded, knowing he'd been caught in his line of thought but then opened a drawer to his desk and pulled out a small box, bringing it around to give to Emma as he took a seat beside her.

"I was going to give you this when the baby came, but I think now may be better. Wouldn't want it getting lost amongst a towns-worth of baby swag." Emma wanted to laugh at her father's using the word swag, but she was too choked up, even without seeing the gift itself. That moved to full on tears when she opened up the cover, and she couldn't even blame the baby hormones.

"The charm is a Swan, as you can see, morphed with a ship, to represent you and Killian, but the chain, the chain I had made for you before you were born back in the Enchanted forest. I want your little girl, my first granddaughter, to have it." Emma leaned against her Dad's shoulder and wiped away the tears.

"It's perfect Dad, I know she'll love it." Her dad dropped a kiss to the crown of her head and Emma could feel her mood so vastly improving. She was just about to ask her Dad about where he'd found the charm when he filled her in.

"Fauna, one of the fairies works with silver and is already making two more for you and Killian."

"Thank you so much," David hugged her before straightening up and extending a hand.

"With that, I think it's time for me to play my part in today's activities. If you'd follow me Princess Emma." She laughed at the endearment but grabbed her Dad's arm. Only he didn't move, simply standing in place for a moment until Emma spoke.

"Are we going somewhere?"

"Oh right, I was thinking you could poof us there. We're off to your house, specifically the back yard." Emma did just that, noting again how her magic tinted a slightly different color as it had during her whole pregnancy, with flecks of color morphing in with the white. When they arrived though, she took in the scenery all around and gasped. There, hanging around throughout the space, as the sun was setting, were twinkling lights and nearly a dozen tables. Scattered about were her family and friends, all smiling brightly at her, but directly in front of her, looking devilishly handsome and so adorably hopeful was Killian.

"I already had a baby shower." The words were out of her mouth before she could think twice about it and David laughed patting her arm.

"This isn't a party for the baby, Emma. It's for you." With that, David handed Emma off to Killian with a smile and a nod and headed to find his own wife as Emma looked to her husband with questioning in her eyes.

"You did this. Why?" Killian scratched behind his ear and she knew a confession was coming.

"I didn't know what else to do, love. Words are fast becoming inadequate to prove to you how wonderful you are, so I thought, perhaps a party in your honor, with all of your favorite things may be the best course of action." Emma pulled him down for a kiss and when she pulled away she had her own confession to make.

"This is beautiful, but even if I haven't said it, you're enough. You make it all better, always, and I love you for it." Killian grinned at that, before pulling her around to inspect the party's theme, which he admitted to stealing from the _Sound of Music_ , which Emma had made him watch nearly ten times over the past few months.

"My favorite books," Emma smiled as she gave Belle a hug. "God I haven't read some of these in years. How did you know?"

"Call it a Storybrooke perk, but our databases have everyone's favorites, even from before they came here." Belle then showed Emma how each book had been given a special inscription inside marking them as Emma Swan approved, and told her that she expected a sharp rise in their check outs thanks to the endorsement.

"If they needed my endorsement to read _Pride and Prejudice_ , that's a little worrisome." Emma chastised as they moved to the music section, where a record player was currently spinning some of Emma's favorite classic songs.

"I would ask you to dance, love, but I think that might be just a bit more than we can handle today." Emma nodded.

"Rain check." Again, she found all sorts of artists and songs she hadn't thought of in so long, but both Killian and Henry had compiled a list of songs they'd known she liked and the thoughtfulness alone was enough to overwhelm her. They moved through the rest of the tables as well, filled with other hobbies and favorite movies and so on, until finally getting to the main attraction – food.

"Oh my God, Killian!" She said as she gripped his arm tighter. "How the hell did you know?" She was gazing at a long table filled with everything she'd been craving over the past month – brownies, chicken wings, pizza, wonton soup, strawberry ice cream, and – wow was that even a falafel?

"How – what – I don't…" Killian laughed and whispered into her ear.

"Remember how I told you that you sleep talk, now, Swan." She nodded, remembering a few months ago how she'd been apparently very vocal during her many _many_ sex dreams. "Well now, in between your desirous thoughts about me, you include other appetites as well, and I pulled from there what to have at the ready."

"At this rate, we're going to have five kids." Killian's eyes grew wider at the statement.

"However many you want, Emma, I've told you that." She shook her head.

"Seriously, this whole time, you have been the picture of perfect husbandry. All you do is cater to me and it's a really big turn on." She was pulling at the collar of his shirt, which had that wicked gleam coming back to Killian's eyes.

"I aim to please, love."

"Clearly, though come to think of it, you're always this good to me. I'm a lucky girl." He brushed his thumb against her lower lip before dipping to kiss her lightly.

"I think there's enough luck to share between the two of us." With that, they spent the night honoring Emma as she ate her favorite foods and sang along to her favorite songs, before heading to sleep in the loving arms of her husband. The next day though, things took a turn, as their baby girl was ready to make her entrance into the Jones family.

Emma and Killian truly hadn't known how true their words the night before were, for they were indeed very lucky to have such a daughter, who was healthy and happy and brave right from the start. Their luck remained the same with the next three babies as well, and through it all, Killian and Emma were the picture of support and love and hope. Their children grew up knowing without a doubt that they were loved and cherished, and years later, when Emma and Killian were looking back at the wonder that was their life together, they both were certain that they'd truly had the most wonderful happily ever after possible.

 _ **Post-Note: Want to again thank my amazing follower again for this prompt, it was an amazing story to write, and I do sincerely hope you guys liked it. What is life without a bunch of fluff, after all? Also, if you're a regular reader, I'm sure you've noticed that I've moved from three kids to five in total. I figure, dream big always, but as long as this show ends with CS happy and in love, I'll take whatever they give me. Thanks for reading!**_


	31. Waves

_**Rewriting scene from 5x15 the brother's Jones where Liam is shitty to Emma. Killian has heard everything and steps in, telling Liam exactly why he can never give Emma up, and while they'll never be another person in any world that he loves more. Not that I hated the episode or anything, I just love me some good old-fashioned fluff with a side of zero angst. Inspired by the song 'Waves' by Kris Allen.**_

Though perhaps he was still a bit off kilter, between the reuniting of him and his brother and the near loss of his soul in that blasted river, Killian Jones still had all his faculties, including his keen sense of hearing. It made sense then that he would hear the discussion between Emma and his brother as they searched for clues in the loft above him.

"Emma, can we talk?" Liam asked.

"Is this like a protective big brother talk, where you want to make sure I'm good enough for Killian?" Killian smiled at that, looking around to make sure that none of the others had paid him any mind. He did love his sarcastic Swan, but then his brother said the most unbelievable thing.

"No, because I already know that you're not good enough." _Bloody hell_ , was Liam insane?

"What?" Of course Emma was indignant, hell he was barely restraining himself from walking up there and confronting Liam, but he hoped perhaps his brother was teasing, even if he knew him better than to believe that.

"Killian blames himself for ending up here, but he told me what happened. Sounds to me like it's not his fault. It's yours." _The hell it was_ , Killian started towards the stairs, keeping quiet enough that neither party heard him.

"I think we both made mistakes."

"Killian's been fighting darkness his entire life, and you pushed him off the cliff." With that Killian emerged.

"She was trying to save my life. Misguided as that might have been, her intentions were true brother, now step down." Both Emma and Liam were startled to his presence as he stepped between the two of them, trying to reign in his annoyance with his brother.

"It was a bloody selfish thing to do. You had a chance to die a hero, to move on, and she took it from you." Now it was Emma's turn to be angry.

"That's not fair. I'm down here risking everything to save him."

"And is that really what you need, brother? Or what she needs?" Killian heard the beginnings of an argument coming from Emma but he looked at her and she yielded, trusting him to handle it. Though he did hear the words 'self righteous' muttered and he had to give her that, considering Liam's current and past behavior.

"It's what _we_ need," affirmed Killian without any trace of doubt in his voice.

"She's trouble, Killian."

"And what am I, a bloody saint? She's exactly the kind of woman I want and need, brother. Why can't you see that?" Killian was fast growing exasperated, struggling to understand why his brother was so set against a woman whom with so little fault could be found. Emma was a force of nature, a hurricane that could somehow overcome her own demons and settle the seas of his own torment in an instant. Why couldn't Liam see Emma as she truly was, as the love he'd been seeking his whole life.

"Look at what she's done to your life, Killian. At every turn there's danger and to what ends? She went dark, she brought you to darkness, surely you can see that."

"What she does is make life worth living. She makes me believe that I can be better. She makes me think that maybe I'm worth more." He was still putting the thought together, piecing the bits into one before his final confession.

"Emma Swan gives me the strength to forgive myself for all I've done, Liam, and she does it with her love and her hope. So whatever ends you're hoping to achieve, know that there is nothing you can say that will keep me from her. She is my future, as I am hers and we will find a way out of this bloody Underworld to the life I have dreamed up for us." He heard a slight intake of breath from behind him and reached out to take Emma's hand.

"Did you hear that, love? Because I meant every word, unless of course you had some thoughts on the matter and then we could compromise." Then she did it, she smiled widely at him and squeezed his hand tighter.

"I trust your instincts."

"As I trust yours." He turned back to Liam. "Now brother, I believe you'll find the old proverb rings true – if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself." Killian led Emma down the stairs of the loft, and passed by Snow and Charming on their way out. Snow looked near tears of joy while Charming nodded at him. So yes, they'd definitely heard, which was only confirmed by Regina's comment.

"About time, pirate." He merely waved his hook at her and Robin as he and Emma moved to the alley just outside the apartment. Only once the door was closed did he look into her eyes.

"Are you alright, love?" Emma nodded meekly but he lifted her chin up to look into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Emma. My brother is out of line, and though he's stubborn, he'll see that." She looked up at him with those big green eyes and now, for the first time he allowed himself the chance to luxuriate in the feeling of being enough, of being worth forgiveness even from himself.

"You scared me for a minute when we got back. I thought you were going to pull the _'I'm not worth it card'_ which would be total bullshit." He smiled at that and stole a kiss that immediate had her hands coming around his neck and running through his hair. When he pulled back he shook his head.

"Perhaps for a moment I thought as such, but what you said is true, we've both made mistakes, and the bar I thought I was supposed to live up to, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I love you, I will always love you Emma Swan, and if there's a chance that I can have a happy ending with you, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. There'd be no better place than having you by my side." She pulled him down once more, and though they weren't truly alone they took a moment to pretend that they were, to say all the things left unsaid about the future and their love without words.

When they returned to the loft, Killian found Liam, looking surprisingly humbled and a bit uncomfortable to tell the truth.

"Quite a family you've found yourself, brother." Killian nodded, looking past to the others, who were, in every way that mattered, his family now.

"I needed people who could live up to the one I left behind." Liam smiled small at that and then turned to Emma.

"I'm sorry about what I said Emma. Truth is, I am a bit self-righteous, but I don't know the whole story, and I shouldn't have to. I trust my brother enough to know that he can make his own decisions now, for he is a hero, one the likes of which I could never have hoped to be." Killian hugged Liam but his brother whispered low in his ear.

"Someday, you and Emma will get to that life you wanted, one that involves more children than young Henry here. Perhaps you could be kinder in recanting about their Uncle Liam than my behavior today deserves." Killian nodded, choked up a bit for he did understand that leaving here would mean leaving his brother, saying goodbye to the man who had seen him through life once more. It was a painful thought, but he'd make sure that Liam found his beyond, a happy one of a life on the sea, just as his brother would most desire.

And so it was done, Liam told his truth, about the way that things had happened with Captain Silver and his men, and though it was a hard pill for Killian to swallow, it only showed him that no one, not even his brother, was entirely good. There were shades of gray in every person, but it all came down to one's next choice, and with Emma, he knew he would choose good.

Though they had a difficult opponent to face in Hades, he and Emma had turned a corner. For what could strengthen love more than forgiveness? What could make it truer than acceptance? In such absolution they found their way home and back to the happily ever after they'd always try and fight for, because on their third time trying for true loves kiss, it worked. And when the time did come, when Emma and Killian married and had their children, including a little boy named Liam, Killian kept his promise and told them of the man who'd been his brother and how he was honorable and flawed and loved.

…

 _Pretty girl, got that look in her eyes_ _  
_ _She might be trouble, but trouble's what you need sometimes_ _  
_ _She can't hold back and she won't let go_ _  
_ _Like a sinking ship that's keeping me afloat_ __

 _Well, someone told me "watch out"_ _  
_ _And another told me "run"_ _  
_ _But I've always been a bullseye looking for a gun_ __

 _But she is my hurricane_ _  
_ _And I am her ocean_ _  
_ _And we could make the biggest waves_ _  
_ _Cause she makes me move; she moves me_ _  
_ _Cause she makes me move; she moves me_ __

 _A reckless heart and a dangerous mind_ _  
_ _That combination, a beautiful disaster every time_ _  
_ _And she makes me mad, but she, she makes me stronger_ _  
_ _I guess that love's not always a sweet, sweet song_ __

 _Well, someone told me "watch out"_ _  
_ _And another told me "run"_ _  
_ _But I've always been a bullseye looking for a loaded gun_ __

 _But she is my hurricane_ _  
_ _And I am her ocean_ _  
_ _And we could make the biggest waves_ _  
_ _Cause she makes me move; she moves me_ _  
_ _Cause she makes me move; she moves me, yes_ __

 _Na-na-na na-na_ _  
_ _Na-na-na na-na_ _  
_ _Na-na-na na-na na-na_ _  
_ _Na-na-na na-na_ _  
_ _Na-na-na na-na_ _  
_ _Na-na-na na-na na-na_ __

 _Well, someone told me "watch out"_ _  
_ _And another told me "run"_ _  
_ _And I don't know if this is what I need_ _  
_ _But God, it's all I want_ __

 _But she is my hurricane_ _  
_ _And I, I am her ocean_ _  
_ _And we could make the biggest waves_ _  
_ _Cause she makes me move; she moves me_ _  
_ _Cause she makes me move; she moves me_ _  
_ _Cause she makes me move; she moves me_

 _ **Post-Note: I couldn't help it, and maybe you guys loved 5x15 just as it was, but maybe you're also like me, wanting just a bit more fluff in my OUAT even though it's not a season finale. I had just a smidge too much self-loathing in this episode for it to clock in as an overall favorite, but hey, we're on track now right? Anyways hope you guys enjoyed, and if not, bear with me and stick around for the AUs and post-underworld stuff I keep throwing on this playlist. Also this song – look it up – it's fantastic. Okay I think that's it, see you next time!**_


	32. Remind Me

_**Emma never can truly let go of her worrying, hell she's pretty sure it's hereditary, but through everything, through every big bad blow up, she has Killian to remind her that love will win. Sparked from an artist suggestion (Conrad Sewell) by a follower, and while they also sent me a great prompt for a different song of his, this idea was too fluffy to pass up for right now. Hope you guys enjoy 'Remind Me.'**_

"You have got to be kidding me!" Waves of energy were practically rolling off of Emma as this mix of fury and fear clung to her every movement. Mere weeks after their time in the Underworld, they were on to the next fantasy fiasco and it was driving Emma insane.

"Emma, I know it seems like a lot, but the only option is to push through." Her mother's words made sense, but the message wasn't clicking. Emma still felt the injustice of it, and that crippling worry that she was going to lose the people she loved. She couldn't handle any more loss.

"We're supposed to get married, Mom. I can't – what if…" She couldn't even finish the thought, and Snow knew better than to try and reach out for Emma in this state. Instead, she fished out her phone and called David, telling him to find Killian. Until he arrived, the hum in her blood wouldn't quit, the clutch at her chest that felt an awful lot like panic wouldn't recede.

"Emma, love, look at me." She did, looking up to where he'd just entered the room and instantly she began to breathe easier. He smiled at that as if he could sense it.

"Tell me what's plaguing you, Emma." She closed her eyes as she felt his hand on her waist, and sighed.

"The same old baggage." Her joke fell flat, and she felt her throat restricting a bit again.

"I'm not going anywhere, Emma." She clutched onto his jacket and stepped closer into the warmth of his arms.

"I know you'd never do it intentionally but-"

"No, Emma. We're getting married, I fully intend to be your husband and stand by your side for the next, oh fifty or so years. We'll have more children, and a dog, and a life filled with more than moments." All of that sounded so perfect, like it could only exist in a dream, but then again, Emma had long thought finding people who loved her was a far fetched dream as well.

"You're right." Emma said, pulling him into her for a hug, and syncing her beating heart with his calmer pace.

"Doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's nice to be told as such." She laughed at that, and with the final release of her pent up energy, she felt the vibe in the room change. She was okay again, she was brave again and he had helped her find it.

"How did you know I wanted a dog?" He chuckled low at that.

"You've been especially attentive to the animal shelter recently, and besides, every family deserves a dog."

"I really like this whole true love thing," Emma said as she ran her hand against Killian's jaw, pulling out a grin from him.

"Aye, love." Then she pulled him down for a kiss and felt any lingering doubts leaving her. They'd likely be back, but she and Killian together could fend them away. They'd faced worse after all.

…

For a long time, Emma had wondered why people made such a big deal about rings at a wedding. What was it about marriage that people felt needed to be sealed with a band of metal? Now she knew, it wasn't for when your partner was standing with their hand in yours, it was for when they were away and they carried a piece of your heart with them. Emma looked at her ring, wishing that Killian would just come back. She missed him, even if it was crazy.

"He's just on a patrol Emma." Snow's voice pulled Emma out of her own internal reverie. She nodded at her mother.

"I know, but…"

"But you still miss him."

"Yeah, I do." Her mother's arms came around her shoulder.

"Just remember what you're fighting for, Emma." Emma's hand absently went to her stomach and it didn't escape her mother's notice.

"Emma, are you pregnant?" Her mother asked unsure and Emma nodded.

"You're pregnant?!" Her father boomed loudly from the doorway where he stood with Killian, and she watched as he shoved Killian in the arm lightly. "And you didn't tell me?"

"Because I didn't know." Emma rose to her feet as Killian made his way across the room to her with sure footing.

"Are you certain, Emma?"

"Yes," His responding smile dazzled her and caused a weight of worry to lift from her shoulders. Yes, she'd known he would be happy, but the timing was hardly opportune. They had a new big bad running around causing chaos.

"Look away Dave," Killian said without tearing his eyes from Emma, and the last thing Emma heard was her mother leading her father away as Killian' lips crashed down on hers in a passionate kiss. Her arms came around his neck, her fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck and he pulled her closer so they stood flush against each other. When they finally pulled apart, Emma was panting.

"So you're happy then?" He shook his head looking dazed.

"Words cannot express this feeling Emma. It's more than happy. It's the moment you said you love me, the moment you became my wife, it's more than anything I can fully understand. All I know is that I love you with everything in me, and any child of ours will have exactly the same, for they'll be a part of you." She ran her hand against the scruff of his beard.

"You always know exactly what just to say."

"Were you worried love?" She arched a sarcastic brow at him and he chuckled. "Perhaps the current state of affairs is a cause for slight concern, but I promise that I will never let anything happen to you or our children." Emma's throat tightened a bit at the words and as his hand came to rest against her stomach. She knew Henry was lumped in there too, for Killian had been nothing but the perfect step father to him, proving his love for her son more times than she could count.

"How can you be so brave? How can you be so sure?" His blue eyes found hers once more and in them she saw his faith and certainty.

"Because the love between us is true, Emma, and because this is what you do. When you falter, I stand at the ready and vice versa. We defeat each other's demons, and we find our peace together. We're the heroes, love, and all that work, all that goodness, has to count for something."

"It's probably really annoying, but I think I need you to remind me of this once a day until this baby comes." Killian kissed her lightly.

"I will remind you every second of every day if that is your wish, Emma." He was so cheesy, but hell, she loved it, just as she loved him.

…..

"Mommy!" Emma bolted upright in bed, with Killian right beside her and looked down into little Leia's eyes.

"What's wrong honey, are you okay?" Her little girl shook her head with watery eyes.

"I had a bad dream," Emma exhaled. Bad dreams, she could deal with. For a minute there, Emma had anticipated another kind of evil.

"It's okay, lass, come here." Killian assisted his daughter so that she was laying between the two of them and Emma watched as her husband ran a finger through their three year old daughters dark curls as he hummed low. Already, sleep was tugging at her baby's eyes again, and Emma sighed, maybe they could get comfortable, again, but not two minutes later she was startled again.

"Mom?" Emma's eyes popped open to find little Liam, now nearly six looking back at her.

"You too, kid?" He nodded and she made some more room for her son thankful they had a king sized bed at this point. All they needed now was –

"Got room for one more?" Emma couldn't help but smile at Hope, already eight at this point looking at her. She was nearly an exact mini of Emma, save Killian's blue eyes and lopsided grin when she got her way or rose to a challenge. Except Hope had another thing going for her that her mother never had – a resolute knowledge that she was loved and that she was worth love. Perhaps that was what had her climbing into the bed without the go ahead from her Mom.

"Sure, why not?" Emma chuckled and as the kids drifted off, she looked over to Killian who was smiling happily at her.

"Think Henry can sense this? Maybe he's on his way back from school to get in on this." Killian shook his head and looked back at their kids lovingly, and Emma's heart tightened in response as it always did.

"How did we get so lucky, Swan?"

"I'd explain it to you, but little ears present and everything." She heard a low grumble from Killian.

"You're _lucky_ our children are here love, or I'd remind you just how knowledgeable I am."

"Promises, promises." Killian reached for Emma's hand and caressed it lightly with his thumb.

"Promises I intend to keep." Emma sighed, and for a moment she had a moment of worry grip at her. She wouldn't trade this moment with her family for anything. Everyone was healthy and safe, but the winds were changing towards another bad time. She could feel it, and it hung around her like a shadow she just couldn't shake.

Emma sensed a rustling and noticed that Killian was now out of the bed, making his way to her side and extending his hand to her. She accepted without hesitation and rose from the bed as well, stepping into his arms and into his warm embrace. Then he turned them to look at their three beautiful children in bed and whispered in her ear.

"Remember what we're fighting for, Swan. We fight for our future and theirs as well, and with intentions like ours, how can we be defeated?" Emma nodded at that. He was right, and as always, so good at reminding her of what mattered.

"I love you." She whispered. Just as Killian was going to respond, they heard a small response from little Leia.

"I know." At that both Emma and Killian couldn't help but laugh. Their daughter had been asking about her namesake, and was now obsessed with the _Star Wars_ movie. Now every time she heard 'I love you' this was her response, apparently even in sleep.

Emma and Killian let the silence fall around them, and where Emma might have found worry in the past, she now only found calm, for that was what Killian could give to her.

They of course beat out the evil in the end, just as they defeated every other obstacle that tried to keep them from the home they'd made and the love they'd found. Sooner than they'd thought possible, the time came, when the heroes passed the torch from one generation to the next, and though that too caused it's own brand of worry, it symbolized one happy truth – that Emma and Killian and their family had found their happy endings, really and truly. And each and every time Killian held Emma's hand in his, or she looked at her ring, or she heard the laughter of her children, Emma had her reminder that she'd carved out a magical life for herself where she was loved, and where that was enough.

…..

 _Please lay a little longer_ _  
_ _Weight is on my shoulders, holding me down_ _  
_ _Some days, it can't get much darker_ _  
_ _Feel it more than ever_ _  
_ _When you're not around_ __

 _When I think about love, you are right beside me_ _  
_ _I think about us, you will always find me_ _  
_ _When my heart is lost, I know that you'll guide me_ _  
_ _I think about all the little things that still remind me_ __

 _These days, reflections like a stranger_ _  
_ _You are so much braver, braver than me_ _  
_ _Save me, save me from my demons_ _  
_ _Teach to defeat them_ _  
_ _And lead me to peace_ __

 _When I think about love, you are right beside me_ _  
_ _I think about us, you will always find me_ _  
_ _When my heart is lost, I know that you'll guide me_ _  
_ _I think about all the little things that still remind me_ __

 _When I'm living like there's nothing left to lose_ _  
_ _When I turn my back on everything I knew_ _  
_ _When I settle for the silence in the room_ _  
_ _Remind me_ _  
_ _Remind me_ _  
_ _Remind me_ _  
_ _Remind me of you_ __

 _I think about love, and you are right beside me_ _  
_ _I think about us, I know that you'll find me_ _  
_ _When my heart gets lost, I know that you'll guide me_ _  
_ _I think about all the little things that still remind me_ _  
_ _Oh all my life_ _  
_ _You'll remind me_

 _ **Post-Note: New episode tomorrow, where my OUAT babies will still be in the Underworld, and I will likely still be in pain. So this chapter was all about CS fighting off their demons and being cute. I regret nothing, and hope you guys enjoy! As always, thanks for reading!**_


	33. War of Hearts

_**This fic is a rewrite of Emma's being upset about losing Killian at the end of 4x3. I've reimagined the moment as more than a kiss from Emma's POV. I also went ahead and brought the 'I'm a fan of each part of you' story line to head earlier, because I wish Emma had never had to go through all the fear of having magic. This version of Emma isn't running, and she isn't afraid of who she is and what she has in front of her. So take that 4a, I am completely rewriting you. Inspired by the song 'War of Hearts' by Ruelle.**_

 _Just keep moving,_ Emma thought to herself as she tried to make a graceful exit from Granny's and put space between her and Killian. The only problem was that he seemed kind of hopeful as he sat there at a table. He'd been waiting for her, she knew that, but God if that didn't scare her to death, his wanting to be there, his wanting her. _Just keep moving._

"Swan – don't make a man drink alone." He was teasing, and light and playful, everything that she wanted to cave to but had to stay above. Her fear was guiding her, and it was what would keep her moving and keep her in tact, even though underneath she was a wave of emotions. Today – no every day – was just getting to be so much. She felt drawn to him, but she couldn't let go, couldn't just be. She was the savior and there were expectations.

"I'm not in the mood for a drink," she said before quickly adding "or a man." _Lie lie lie_ , she was always 'in the mood' when he was around but she had to fight it. He was already sneaking past her defenses, and she couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't. Only now he was following her, and sounding so sincere.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you today. All right, I know you feel like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders," His hand reached out and held her arm as he spun her around back to him and continued. "But at some point, even though we're quite different, you've got to trust me."

"That's what you think this is about? That I don't trust you?" Was he kidding?

"Is that not what it's about?" He asked.

"Of course I trust you." The words were the truth, and as soon as she said them she was half tempted to try and take them back, but he was so insistent.

"Then why do you keep pulling away from me?"

"Because everyone I've ever been with is dead!" And there it was – the cloud of doom hanging over every interaction. She, Emma Swan, might as well have been a death sentence, and she couldn't risk that with him, not with Killian. So she kept on going, trying to make him see.

"Neal and Graham… even Walsh. I lost everyone. I… I can't lose you too." The tears were there now, stinging in her eyes but she held them back, because this was not happening. She could not let it happen. She had to be strong, had to hold back, only the look in his eyes, had her pulse kicking up, because in their blue depths lay something she hadn't expected – certainty.

"Well, love, you don't have to worry about me. If there's one thing I'm good at it's surviving." God how she wanted to believe it was true, and hell look at his track record, maybe it was. There was a beat between them, when all she could do was look in his eyes and try to understand if this was a promise he could really make, if she could take the risk and then he was stepping to her for a kiss that was an affirmation of everything he'd said.

And the truth? Well the truth was that even if she wanted to keep him out of her heart, it didn't matter. The walls were down, and he had already staked a claim. So it came to her then in a sudden understanding - maybe she shouldn't be trying to keep him at arms length, maybe the key was keeping him close, was letting him in, was having that hope that everyone seemed so keen on. Maybe it was letting go of control.

This kiss symbolized just that. It was a crackling burst of energy, raw and real and life affirming. She didn't want it to end, didn't want to lose this because it felt so good, and for once in her life Emma felt like something was truly right. His hand wandered across underneath her jacket and the pressure of his hook at her back through the thick leather had Emma gasping against his lips. Any space between them was gone as she arched closer, wanting to wrap herself in him, and in this. Then he was pulling back, and she was following him, not wanting it to be over.

"Emma, love, I don't want to take advantage. It was a big day, tensions are high, but I want to be a constant. I'm here, Swan, I'm not leaving." He was still so close, his lips a breath away, the air around them still warm from their proximity despite the cold weather since the ice queen had come to town. Speaking of a reality she didn't want to think about. A crazy lady running around reeking havoc, threatening her family and the man she was falling for was exactly what she wanted to avoid right about now.

 _Oh God, I think I'm falling in love with him,_ Emma thought, but her reaction to that fact, when she looked into his eager, cerulean eyes wasn't to run, it was to pull him back to her and to kiss him like she'd never done before. She was giving all of herself right now, and somehow she knew that was the only way she'd stay sane.

"I'm not leaving either. No more running, I trust you, Killian. I trust _you_." These three little words that she could say, were all it took for him to give over to desire too, for the restraint he'd been showing to crack.

"You know, Henry is with Regina tonight." His brow rose at that.

"Is that so, love?" She smiled, looking back to his mouth.

"Yeah, so if you wanted, we could go back to your room… but maybe you couldn't handle it." He growled at that, as in actually growled, and the sound sent a surge of lust coursing through her. She wanted to hear that again, preferably with them in a bed, naked.

"As deep as I am in this, Emma, I very well may not be able to. But I surely do love a challenge." She smiled at that, pulling him behind her back into Granny's, not caring who saw.

As soon as they were in his room, closing the door behind them, he boxed her in against the wall and she immediately took off her own jacket, moving against him to get it done, and reveling in the movement of his hips forward where she'd been, trying to stay connected. When she began to take off her shirt as well, his hand stopped hers and she looked up at him.

"Emma, love, I've been dreaming about this moment for quite some time. Don't deny a man this kind of moment." The thought of him thinking of her and them like this sent a shiver through her and it only increased in fury as his hand came under the fabric to touch her bare skin for a moment. Waiting for him to hurry was agony, but at the same time it was filling her with life. She felt like she was glowing, that the room was somehow getting brighter.

"Well this is interesting," Killian said and Emma looked at him and then realized that the light was coming from her.

"Oh my god!" She tried to pull back but he held her waist firmly. She wasn't trapped, just held steady.

"Look at me, Emma." She did. "This isn't something to be afraid of."

"This isn't me, though. I'm not that girl…" She trailed off as his eyes never wavered.

"But you are love, you are magic personified. You are light itself, and there's no need to run from it. Take it from me, love, as someone who is truly a fan of every part of you." Her heart rate was steadying again, the panic subsiding, and in its wake was a feeling that she was safe and wanted. It was heady, and something she could so easily get addicted to. She grabbed the lapel of his jacket and tugged slightly.

"We need to get this off of you."

"As you wish, Swan." The slow perusal of before was hastily abandoned, with both of them shedding their clothes in a synchronized dance that shouldn't have gone this well. The first time with anyone should have had its stumbles and awkward trips, but it was flawless, and then she was laying there, splayed out on the white of his sheets as he looked down at her, like she was everything. She was absolutely sure that a flush was spreading across her body, now only donning her bra and panties, and he only seemed more and more enthralled.

"You take my breath away, Swan." She felt the tug at her heartstrings but pushed herself to take a teasing tone, because that's who they were at the end of the day.

"That's quite a line."

"It's no line I assure you." By now he was over her, leaning in for a kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck and down his back. She was finally feeling the body that had inspired some of her hottest fantasies and it was better than anything she could have imagined. His lips came down for a light kiss on her mouth, then to her cheek, her neck, working down until he was at her breasts and she was damn near panting.

"Red lace, Swan. Did you do this for me?" She nearly jumped out of her skin as he traced just under the bra. Truth was she had been wearing really good lingerie recently, reasoning that it would make her feel better and more confident, but in the back of her mind there was always the chance that a kiss would become more, and that yes, maybe Killian would see them.

"Well for me, but I had only you in mind." In an instant, the front clasp of the bra was undone and he rewarded her by giving attention to her aching nipples, one with his hand, and the other with his mouth, keeping eye contact with her until he was sucking just slightly.

" _Fuck_ , Killian." He pulled back and trailed his kisses lower, speaking in between each point.

"That's it lass, tell me exactly how I make you feel." She was gripping tightly at the sheets as he kissed her pelvis, and then pushed apart her legs, removing the scrap of lace between them, and placing his lips gently on the inside of thigh.

"You make me feel everything."

"Good," he said just before his mouth descended on her waiting heat, and then all rational thought was gone, nowhere to be found as he sucked and licked and fucked her with his tongue. It was all so much, and not enough, until it was and she was seeing stars in a release unlike anything she'd ever had. But he didn't stop, continuing to ravish her with the most amazing ministrations as she came back down, and working her back to a peak slowly, but with expert preciseness.

"Oh God, _yes_ , just like that, right there." He stilled for only a moment, but it was enough for Emma to know that he'd wanted to make some sort of witty retort, most likely about her calling him God, but somehow that only sparked the last little bit of need in her to combust again, and this time he returned to her, which Emma was desperate for.

"Why were we waiting for this again?" He chuckled low at that.

"You weren't ready, bot Gods do I hope you are now, Emma, because if you're not, waiting may just bring me to my demise." She kissed him, tasting herself on his tongue and sighing into him.

"I gave you my word that I'm in this now. Just try getting rid of me, _Captain_." She watched the heat flare in his eyes, and knew that she'd found her own little tidbit to use and gain the upper hand, which sounded so gloriously tempting right now. She decided to go for it, pushing him onto the bed and flipping their positions so now she was straddling him.

"Your choice, Captain Jones. Do you want my hand, mouth or me to start?" He looked just about ready to take the reigns again but ultimately conceded to this and answered with a gruff voice.

"I trust your instincts, love."

"All three it is." He groaned at that, and it only got louder as she took his cock in her hands and pumped hard once. He was huge, as she'd known he likely would be, and she was dying to get him inside her, but there was something about driving him just near the tipping point that was so incredibly hot, she never wanted to stop. After a few moments with her hand she shuffled back and brought her mouth to lick his head lightly. Her hands held on to his thighs, which were tense from his trying to hold himself back, and she dug her nails in slightly as she took him in.

" _Fuck_ , Emma, that's so good, love. Gods you're bloody perfect." She hummed with him in her mouth and that only made him madder with the lust swirling between them. She worked him for awhile, loving each new bit of information she could gain about his pleasure. Finally though, he was pulling her back up to him, claiming there was no way he could last that. When she came back up, he was the one to pull her in for another kiss, and she felt how much he needed this connection between them too. When she pulled back, and angled herself above him, it was slow, taking him inch by inch, accommodating him until he'd filled her completely and she'd taken him to the hilt.

" _So good_ ," she sighed and he held her hips firmly.

"My thoughts exactly, Swan." She smiled at him and felt so close to telling him that she was in love with him right there. He looked so blissed out, and fully content and incredibly turned on, which made his handsome face all the more dashing. But instead she contented herself with setting a rhythm that drove them both to a most amazing climax. The words could wait for things to settle, right now, she just wanted to be here, with him, surrounded by the warmth of his arms and feeling the gentle kisses that he was placing against her shoulder.

"That was…" He said after they'd both regained their senses.

"Definitely more than a one time thing." He smiled so bright at her harking back to their first kiss.

"Definitely more," he agreed and then Emma felt sleep pulling at her. It came swift and easy, and she dreamed of the life she wanted, post evil ice queen and big bad problems. She was happy, with her family and with her life in the magical little town on the coast of Maine. And standing there beside her was Killian. When she woke up the next day and he was really there as more than just a wishful thought from a dream, Emma couldn't contain her smile and her joy. The final piece now seemed to click into place, and Emma believed she could safely say that she had found home. She truly had everything to fight for, and it was that and that alone that got them through the trials of the Ice Queen and everything that came to follow.

…..

 _Come to me  
In the night hours_ _  
_ _I will wait for you_ _  
_ _And I can't sleep_ _  
_ _Cause thoughts devour  
Thoughts of you consume_ __

 _I can't help but love you  
Even though I try not to  
I can't help but want you_ _  
_ _I know that I'd die without you_ __

 _Stay with me a little longer_ _  
_ _I will wait for you_ _  
_ _Shadows creep_ _  
_ _And want grows stronger_ _  
_ _Deeper than the truth_ __

 _I can't help but love you_ _  
_ _Even though I try not to_ _  
_ _I can't help but want you_ _  
_ _I know that I'd die without you_ __

 _I can't help but be wrong in the dark_ _  
_ _Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts_ _  
_ _I can't help but want oceans to part_ _  
_ _Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts_ __

 _I can't help but love you  
Even though I try not to  
I can't help but want you  
I know that I'd die without you_ __

 _I can't help but be wrong in the dark_ _  
_ _Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts_ _  
_ _I can't help but want oceans to part_ _  
_ _Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts_

 _ **Post-Note: All the fluff and smut, people. I go back to rewatch episodes of this show for these rewrites, and I have to say I still love all the cute and the great moments and the wonderful lines, but I almost want to scream at my TV that we don't need the angst. Seriously, so many things unsaid, so many charged looks. How do we survive week to week? So instead I write the versions without it, trying to calm my shipper heart with smutty goodness. I hope you guys enjoyed this installment, and that you go check out this song, since the first thing I thought when I heard it was that I needed to incorporate it into the mixtape. Thanks as always for reading, and hope you're all having a great week so far!**_


	34. Salvation

**A/N: This post-underworld fic follows Emma stressing about what to write for her vows. She goes around town and bounces ideas off of near everyone about it. Inspired by 'Salvation' by Madeline Juno. Chapter rated M.**

As a bail bonds person, Emma had learned that being prepared was almost always better. Do your research, tail the guy, catch the perp. That was nearly a foolproof strategy, and it kept her safe, kept her fed, and kept a roof over her head. Emma had carried that need to do her homework from her old life into her one as the savior, and it had continued to serve her well. Now, however, Emma was wondering if perhaps overthinking was what was causing the problem.

"Vows require you to speak from the heart, but you should keep it accessible. Don't include anything so specific that your guests can't follow. It's a feeling, you know? Just tell Killian how you feel." Her mother's words seemed strange floating around in Emma's mind, like they didn't fully compute.

"Tell him how I feel, but make sure all of Storybrooke can follow along. Like one of those dummies books where teach you something that is a lot more complex?" Snow frowned slightly.

"Well when you say it like that, it sounds bad. But I only meant that you shouldn't stand there and recant a private moment, if that makes sense." Emma nodded, more to keep her mother comfortable than because she understood the sentiment. It still sounded like the same watered down version of a promise, and Emma didn't like that. If she and Killian had anything, it was an honest passion. They both felt strongly and struggled to ever shield that from the other. Why, then, would she shield some of that same fire and spark on their day?

"I think what your mother is trying to say, is that this is about the big stuff. You should talk about how you feel the strongest, not necessarily the little moments." Emma smirked at her dad, thinking that comment in particular might have been more for his benefit, so that he could keep from hearing too much about Emma and Killian's 'quiet' moments, but she saw that he believed it in his eyes and her shoulders sagged slightly.

Understanding that her parents, well intentioned as they were, were not going to be helpful, Emma made her excuses, claiming that she had rounds to complete of the town. Instead of seeking out crime, though, Emma continued to research. She made a stop at Granny's and casually slipped the conundrum into conversation with Granny herself as she waited for her grilled cheese and onion rings.

"People often overlook the traditional vows, thinking that they need to include their own personal ones, but if you think about it, there's a lot to be said for the basics. If you say those, and you insert the same kind of feeling and promise as you would something unique, a marriage is better off. People get so caught up in what makes them special, they forget that this union is still a marriage. It follows rules and guidelines."

Emma found that interesting, mainly because she'd never considered just saying the traditional vows and leaving it there. Yet, where Granny saw sincerity, Emma saw coldness. Truth was, she loved Killian's words, and if she didn't say something, maybe he wouldn't either. Perhaps that was selfish, but when she thought about her wedding, she didn't see just in sickness and in health, she saw a painting made of words, a song from their professions. She saw magic, and not the kind that would come from just the generic status quo.

"That's a load of bullshit. If you want my advice, go with a poem or song lyrics. There's a whole bunch of dead people who have been in love too, and they got paid to put it into words. Don't beat yourself up over yours." Emma had to laugh at Leroy's claims. She liked the idea of a quote somehow, but she wasn't going to do a spoken word version of a classic rock song and call that her vows. That just seemed ridiculous.

"Well, thanks for the input." Emma said as she handed Granny her cash and took the take-out bag.

"Which are you going to do?" Leroy asked and Emma shrugged.

"I guess we'll see." She headed back out into the sunny afternoon and considered if perhaps she could find the answers from somewhere else, and she noticed the library. Even if she didn't use a quote, she might still find the answers in a book.

"Good morning, Emma," Belle greeted as Emma walked inside. She was holding her beautiful baby boy as she pushed a book cart towards the stacks, and Emma readily offered assistance. Where Emma had assumed she'd be passed the books, she was passed the child instead.

"What can I help you with, Emma? Magical studies?" Emma shook her head, but then felt guilty for saying it out loud. Belle was the embodiment of the fact that sometimes love wasn't enough and that marriage didn't always last. Rumple had chosen power, and despite his insistence, Belle chose the light, especially when she had a child to be a role model for. Things had deteriorated, and now Belle was left with her son, going it alone. Emma didn't want to bring up any unhappiness for Belle, but the brunette was perceptive.

"The wedding is only a few days away, so let me guess, you were thinking about your vows?" Emma nodded.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I can look elsewhere or…" Belle waved her hand, and though she gave a sad smile, Emma could see the strength of her friend's conviction as she responded.

"No, this is a great place to come if you need inspiration. But if you want my advice, the best thing you can do in your vows is speak your truth. Lay it all out there, Emma, your worries your past, the dreams you have for the two of you. Leave nothing unsaid, because it's in denial that cracks form." Emma came over to Belle and patted her arm in sympathy.

"Someday, you're going to find love worthy of you, Belle. And until then, this little ray of sunshine will give you every ounce of love he has to give." Belle smiled at that.

"I know. Maybe you and Killian will have a baby together soon too. I think our kids would be good friends, don't you?" Emma was a little choked up at the thought but she nodded.

"Definitely. I should be going though." Emma handed the baby back to Belle.

"Wait, you don't need to see the books?" Emma smiled and shook her head.

"Actually, your advice was good enough for me. Thanks, Belle." Her friend waved goodbye and Emma now had what she needed, she just needed to sit down and write it. In an attempt to do that, she headed to the station, pulled out a pad of paper and sprawled out, trying to figure out the right words to put on the page. Only, everything she wrote sounded cheesy.

She remained in the same problematic state when Regina came with Henry to pick up one of his school books that he'd forgotten at Emma's that morning, and when the two of them found her this way, they couldn't help but comment.

"Mom, is everything okay?" She looked up from the scribbled nonsense on the page and blushed a little, putting the paper aside.

"Yeah, just a little writer's block."

"Ah, for your vows," Regina mused.

"Yeah. Well we all know that Killian has a way with words, while I… usually don't." Henry only grinned in response.

"Lucky for you that you have a son who's an author then." Emma considered that, but then thought better of it.

"That's an incredibly kind offer, kid. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that these words of all words have to come from me." Henry considered that, and then smiled.

"Yeah, that's probably true."

"Just don't compare yourself to him," Regina said and Emma looked at her.

"To Killian?" Regina nodded. "How can I not, we'll literally be getting married."

"Right, but you're not marrying someone who is exactly the same as you. You have different strengths. Your pirate has charm and flashy words and an accent. You have other things to offer. Find those, and use them." Emma mulled that over, and then it hit her, one of her strengths was that she was actually best when under pressure. Sure, she was always prepared, but when the chips were down, she trusted her instincts and went with her gut. These words would come to her in the moment, and to treat them as something other than that wasn't realistic. Not for her anyways.

"Thanks, that actually helped a lot."

"Regina is sometimes the bearer of good advice. Surprising I know." Killian's comment from the entryway had Emma turning and instantly smiling. He was leaning against the wall with that mirthful look in his eyes that always had her stomach flipping slightly. Though she heard Regina's haughty rebuff, she knew it was all in good fun. The ex-Evil Queen and the land bound pirate had actually formed a sort of friendship since returning from the Underworld. Now all their barbs were tinted with jest instead of actual hostility.

"Good luck, Mom." Henry said as he hugged Emma goodbye and Killian gave her a quizzical look over Henry's that she ignored. When Henry and Regina were out of earshot, Killian made his move, slinking up beside her and running his hand along her hip, heating Emma through the cotton of her shirt.

"You need luck with something, love? Perhaps I can help." She kissed him, throwing him off slightly, but it only took a moment for him to meet her in enthusiasm, when she pulled back, she was slightly breathless.

"You help me everyday, Killian. Trust me, this I can handle."

"Alright, love." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again and Emma leaned in, enjoying the feel of him being there. Where the vows might confuse her, this never would. She understood them and this.

"Three days until I make you _Mrs. Jones_ ," Killian whispered against her lips and her lips curled up in a smile.

"Let's not jump the gun. I kind of like my last name already." She was teasing, but she couldn't help it, she loved to get a rise out of him.

"Emma, as long as you're my wife. You can go by whatever you like."

"Your permission is appreciated." He scratched behind his ear, clearly uncomfortable.

"That's not what I meant, Swan, I –"

"I was kidding. Jones works for me." He smiled at that, and it was one of those ones reserved just for her, filled with love and hope and a distinct layer of bliss. With that, Emma extended her hand to him, which he readily took and they headed off to anxiously await the wedding to come.

….

"I have to say, _Mrs. Jones_ , that I am the luckiest man in the world to have you as mine." Emma's skin tingled and goose bumps broke out as Killian's fingers traced the exposed flesh of her arms. Her ivory gown was made of a fine lace, and though not fairytale-like, it harked of a real world royalty. She had felt beautiful all day in it, and Killian had barely let a moment pass after the vows were said when they weren't touching. All of that left her wanting and waiting for release, but he was going slow, drawing it out, heightening the impending pleasure. Emma ran her tongue across her lips, anticipating all that was to come.

She looked him over again, still loving the way he'd dressed in his signature black for the ceremony. She was glad that he'd managed a compromise between the styles of this world, and where his heart lay, and she was thinking wicked things about peeling back the layers of his three-piece suit. The vest in particular caused a stir in her, as the ones he wore every day always did.

"I didn't do so bad either." He smirked at that, but bent his head for a kiss, only to nip at her bottom lip and pull back away, turning her in his arms swiftly, so her back was to his front. Though there was little space between them, Killian worked at the zipper of her dress, finding the hidden metal quickly and opening the dress that had fit her like a glove all night. As the cool night air kissed more and more of her skin, she heard his sharp intake of breath. No doubt he had found her special surprise for him. Her strapless bra and panties selected for the day were also lace, barely there, and red.

"You'll drive your husband to an early grave with gifts like this, Swan." She closed her eyes, both from the feel of his callused hand pushing off her dress, and from the endearment. His voice was thick with lust, the tone gravely and raw, but it was the word itself that held all the power. She was glad he wouldn't let it go, since when he'd said it all the time she'd known him, it had carried so much meaning. A name that had once been little more than the wishful thinking of a could-be family was made whole through him whether he was teasing, or sincere, or filled with lust. She always wanted to be his Swan, and now she knew that she would be.

"Says the one who's going so slow, I'm about to combust." His lips came to the crook between her neck and shoulder, and she eased back so he'd have better access. Her dress pooled around her feet, and the feel of his still clothed body against her nearly bare one sent more chills down her spine. Meanwhile Killian's hand traveled lower, passing the thong she had on and zoning in on her clit. She was already so needy for attention there that she couldn't help but purr at the feeling. He could get her off like this alone if he so chose, and God, did she hope he had mercy and did just that.

"As this shall be our one and only wedding night, it seems in our best interest to savor every last moment." The circles he drew around her needy bud had her craving more and her hands came around her back in a motion so swift that she eluded him to unclasp her bra. As expected, the reveal of her breasts pulled a groan from him and moved things faster. He pulled her closer, and triggered her climax, biting on her shoulder at the same time, causing his name to tumble out as a cry from his lips.

"You don't play fair, love." She smiled before turning in his embrace and going for the buttons on his vest. The jacket, was gone by this point, but she needed the contact of skin on skin, and if she was doomed to a night of slow pleasurable torture, she was damn well going to feel his skin on hers to spark that satiny heat that only flesh could.

"Marriage is supposed to be all about compromise." He smiled at that, letting her strip the vest from his person.

"I've heard that once or twice, but I also know, that when you've given me control, you've never gone wanting in our bed." Her throat was dry and her sex grew wetter at the statement. The flimsy material still between her legs was likely soaked because he was right. He knew her wants and desires even before she did, playing every sensation, every emotion so spectacularly well that sex became a revelation. In that cheesy, cliché way, it became making love though it was still hot and slick and wickedly good.

She'd now unbuttoned his shirt and looked at his chest and abs, exposed for her perusal. She couldn't help but run a hand across the muscles there, and felt the slight tense as her hand made initial contact. She smiled, stepping nearer, her lips so close to his, but holding back.

"The same can be said for when I take the lead, _Captain_." She felt the shiver that went through him, and watched him lick his lips. Tempted as she was, she used her other hand to pull him down for a kiss that she knew would burn hot enough to incite him to action. He liked to play at slow and meticulous, but they could have that later. Now she wanted a declaration of everything she felt in her heart to manifest physically. He seemed to understand that this was a driving need within her and picked up on the shift from play to necessity.

They made their way to the bed, and where Emma planned to magic off the thin material still covering between her legs, she instead had the distinct pleasure of watching Killian tear them off.

"Those were expensive," Emma said breathily, not actually giving a damn, and instead loving the primitive display.

"I'll buy you dozens to replace them, Swan, and rip them all off just so." Emma moaned as he kissed down her body and angled his mouth to her waiting heat, pausing only to grin against her before fucking her with his mouth. It was glorious and rough and an excellent demonstration of all the little things he'd learned about her. Like how she loved when he sucked on her clit, and how rough strokes coupled with soft delicate swirls always set her ablaze. Emma could actually feel the crackling energy of her magic pressing at the surface of her skin, that's how fiercely the fire inside of her burned. She wanted to watch him, loving the almost predatory gaze he saved for her in these moments, but it was all too much. She closed her eyes as he pushed her past the edge.

"I love you." She said, as he came back up above her. She ran a hand through the messy locks of his dark hair and her thumb came along his cheek. He leaned into her touch, and for the second time that day, her eyes filled with tears.

"Happy tears I hope, love," he said as he kissed her lightly.

"The happiest." As she shook away the pools of moisture though, a thought occurred to her. Though right now, this felt like one of the best days she'd ever known, and likely ever would. There could be more – would be more – and one of those days didn't need to be so far in the distance.

"Remember that talk we had when we got back from the Underworld?" Killian's eyes grew wider and he nodded.

"The one about more children."

"I think we're ready," she whispered and he grinned.

"You're sure, Emma?" She nodded.

"Yes, I'm sure." The understanding between them tinged the already flowing desire between them with something more. This was now more than a promise, but an attempt to make their future bigger and brighter. With each thrust into her, Emma thought about how Killian was giving her forever, and was now trying to give her even more. The crazy big family that they already had would grow, and she'd get a second chance, to do things right, and to do them with someone who loved her by her side. The thoughts were heady, and catapulted her to climax quickly, with Killian following just behind.

"There has never been another love as great as mine for you, Emma." Killian whispered some time later as he held her close to him. She smiled nuzzling closer, relishing his warmth, but when her innocent attempts at snuggling had him getting hard again already, Emma felt a call to act. Like her husband – wow, he was really her husband – she too loved a challenge. The one in front of her tonight, was to make their time together pure magic over and over and over again.

Hours later, as the reprieve of sleep pulled at Emma, she couldn't help but remember earlier that day, when she'd held Killian's hand in hers and made her promises. She had worried for nothing, because doing things her way had lit up the deep blue of his eyes to a new shade that was nothing short of exultant. As her own eyes closed, the words she'd chosen filtered through her mind and lulled her into a wonderful dream.

' _People have been trying to tell me who I was my whole life – an orphan, a girl, a felon, a mother, a savior. Some of those things have been a gift and others a burden. I thought I was supposed to push back, to stake out my own determined path, and sometimes I have, but after everything, it's hard to argue that some things aren't simply meant to be. Some things are simply destined, and luckily for me, my life has turned out better than I could have ever hoped, because I have you by my side._

' _But if my destiny was to be the savior, so was yours. In so many ways, Killian, you have become my salvation. You love me through my fear, and through my doubt. You hold my hand when times are darkest, and you faced the darkness in you so that we both could rid ourselves of demons. I will spend every day for the rest of my life loving you, fighting for our love and making sure that you know that the scared little girl I once was found strength in you. The path may not be clear, but my dreams for us are, and the biggest one of all, is that we find our happily ever after, which starts today. I love you Killian, for now and for always, and I wanted to thank you for loving me as you do. I will never be able to say how much it means, but I will do my best to show you each and every day.'_

…..

 _Do you know how they say, how they say in the movies?_ _  
_ _Once you stop searching love will come your way_ _  
_ _Never again will I let someone in, I said "I might've just jumped the gun"_ __

 _Dancing alone might've been fun before you came to realize_ _  
_ _The lights went out but your silhouette appeared in my sight_ __

 _You took my heart_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ _  
_ _You lift me up_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ __

 _I do recall, I never thought anything could ever change_ _  
_ _So easy giving up on hope with all the love in you_ _  
_ _Just waiting to be found, I might've just jumped the gun_ __

 _Walking alone might've been cool before you came to realize_ _  
_ _The lights went out but your silhouette appeared in my sight_ __

 _You took my heart_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ _  
_ _You lift me up_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ __

 _Dancing_ _  
_ _Da-da-dancing_ _  
_ _Da-dance-dance_ _  
_ _Da-da-da_ _  
_ _Dancing_ _  
_ _Da-da-dancing_ _  
_ _Da-dance-dance_ _  
_ _Da-da-da_ _  
_ _Da-da-da_ _  
_ _Dancing_ __

 _You took my heart_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ _  
_ _You lift me up_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_ __

 _Dancing alone might've been fun before you came to realize_ _  
_ _The lights went out but your silhouette appeared in my sight_ _  
_ _You're my salvation_

 _ **Post-Note: So, this was originally just going to be complete fluff, but I threw in some smut for good measure, since I have a few readers who read everything I write and the past few chapters have been a little light on M ratings. Know that I love you guys for reading and telling me what you guys want to read that to the moon and back, by the way. Anyways, I just loved the idea of Emma not knowing what to say, because she's faced that problem in the show a number of times. For her to realize that her strength lies in her instincts, even in this, that was a big thing for me, and I hope it's something that they'll address someday in cannon. Until then, I live in my dream land of fics and fluff. Hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	35. Start Again

**Prompted from a follower to use Conrad Sewell's 'Start Again' for a Killian/Emma/Neal love triangle fic from Killian's POV. As a personal preference, I do not like love triangle story-lines, but I am not opposed to a perceived one. That is to say, Killian is going to think that Neal is in play for Emma too, but she will set that straight, and I will be rewriting some of my most frustrating season 3 scenes (3x10) to give CS an earlier happily ever after. That being said, expect some Killian jealousy at the special request of this follower and the many others who have wanted to see more of that in my writing.**

It had started the moment that they returned, the feeling that a connection was lost. Emma was returning to her life, now reunited with her son, and while Killian was happy for her, he also felt the pull of loss. She wasn't his, she likely never would be, but there was something about her that called to him. He couldn't force it down, and now felt certain that his new curse in life was to watch her rebuild her life with a man who wasn't him.

 _As long as she's happy._ Killian had said that to himself more times than he could count since they'd found Baelfire – or Neal as she called him. Killian knew a thing or two about first loves, and he also understood that even if Emma was crushed, heart broken and scared, the love remained and it likely always would. In the echo cave, he'd thought, just for a moment, that her profession had meant that she would never consider giving Neal a second chance, but Neal was persistent, and Killian knew better than to think that he, a lowly pirate and a man who'd given himself to a dark crusade for hundreds of years could be enough for the golden haired savior. So now, he was set to drinking, trying to dull the ache that coursed through him, every time he thought about Emma with another man.

He'd been watching her, from his perch at the bar of Granny's. She was trying to reconnect with her boy, and he wanted her to succeed, if only to put those worried lines on her face at ease. No one else seemed to notice, but Emma was still anxious, still teetering on the line of uncertainty, while everyone else seemed eager to celebrate. Until she was calm, he knew he couldn't be either. He contemplated reaching out, asking her if everything was in fact well, when the man who had the chance at everything Killian wanted approached.

"I don't think they serve rum at Granny's." With a nearly empty beer in hand, Neal seemed the victor in this moment, sure of himself as he approached Killian. It set Killian's jaw clenching, and the green beast of jealousy coursing through him, but he had to rise above it. He had to try and be a better man. Even if Emma never wanted him, he still wanted to be better, for her, to show her that her trust in him hadn't been unfounded.

"Don't worry. I'm not here to pursue the lady Swan." Killian took a swig of his own drink to try and douse the still bitter tone in his voice, but Neal felt the need to poke further.

"Yeah, you're just here to throw back a few with the dwarfs." The chuckle of his neighbor grated at him, but Killian ignored it. Surely the man had no idea how much Killian had come to care for Emma, and if he was still the same lad he'd known all those years ago, he was still a good person even if Killian was half tempted to punch him. Jealousy truly was a beast, one he had to somehow overcome in this moment.

"I made a decision when it comes to Emma. I'm gonna back off." There it was, his word that he was going to stop trying to win her affections, even if it might possibly kill him.

"Back off?" Neal asked skeptically.

"For the sake of the boy. Let his parents have a fair shot, without a devilishly handsome pirate standing in the way." He had to make it a joke, had to use that tone like he didn't care to keep his baser urges down and concealed.

"You serious?"

"Yeah. I am devilishly handsome." Neal smiled at the joke, and though Killian should have felt relief to have this over, he didn't. He only felt that nagging jealousy simmering beneath. It was what had him continuing even after Neal thanked him.

"Oh don't thank me yet. You see, I'm in this for the long haul." The words were an undeniable truth, he realized as they passed his lips, and honor bound him to tell Neal the truth. "You've already walked out on Emma once. I'm not so sure she'll let you back in. Are you?"

"She will." Killian didn't respond, but someone else did. Emma.

"You can't be serious." Both men swung to look at her standing behind them, and Killian was again struck by how beautiful she looked, even when clearly angered. "We've been home, what, five minutes, and you guys are coming to some sort of gentleman's understanding about who I end up with? Newsflash, the only one who gets to make that decision is me." She threw on her red jacket, checking to make sure that Henry was still far enough away that he couldn't hear.

"And for the record, there is no decision to make. This isn't some sort of triangle, it's actually pretty cut and dry." She called out to Regina, asking if she would mind taking Henry back to her house. The Queen was surprised, but delighted, and Henry, though still a little off from his Neverland escapades, seemed to have no problem with it. Killian knew that Regina had proven herself in Neverland to Emma as someone who truly loved the boy, and who would do everything in her power to protect him. As she handled that, Killian felt his heart clutch painfully in his chest.

"Neal, let's go talk… privately." Agony, pure unadulterated agony seeped through him at her words, but while her eyes stayed on Neal's, her hand reached out for his, and the feel of her fingers on his sparked hope back into his being. His breath was caught in his chest, but Emma still didn't spare him a look until Neal had grabbed his things and was happily heading out the door. Only then did her green eyes meet his, and though they were filled with something, he couldn't quite figure out what it was. Uncertainty still clung to him, but he made his excuses after settling his bill and headed back out to his ship in the opposite direction of where Emma and Neal had gone.

Nearly an hour went by, and now Killian was pacing the length of the deck on the Jolly Roger. He was filled with tension. The hope that her touch had ignited was dulling with each passing second, and the doubts of why she would ever choose him returned with a vengeance. Worse, his mind was plagued with scenarios. What if he'd been wrong, and Emma was choosing Neal. What if they dated, they fell in love again? What if they married? Watching that would kill him, slowly but surely, but he also knew that being away from Emma would rip every last redeemable part of him from his being. He'd be that shell of a man again, and after a taste of what life in the light could be like, he wasn't sure he could ever choose that. His choices seemed dyer – misery or darkness.

"I thought you'd still be at Granny's." Emma's voice floated up from the dock and he turned immediately, thrilled to see her, lit up by the moonlight and gloriously alone. Still he held himself back. Maybe she was just letting him down easy, with a bit of tact instead of doing it with an audience.

"Honestly, love, I didn't want the whole town seeing my shame." She looked confused at the statement as she came aboard and then understanding came to her features.

"You thought I was choosing, Neal?"

"Aren't you?" She shook her head and stepped closer, her hand coming to the lapel of his jacket as it had when she'd pulled him in for that glorious kiss they'd shared. The one where she had opened him up again to the possibility of goodness. The one where she'd sparked something in him that had his heart starting again after all these years.

"No, definitely not." Her eyes flashed up to look at him and she gave him a small smile that he returned.

"How did he take that?" The smile faded, and Killian saw some remorse in her eyes, though now he believed it was likely that she'd had to hurt him instead of lingering desires to be with him.

"He didn't want to let go. Actually, to be honest, knowing Neal, he may still be holding on to the belief that we could be together again. But too much has happened, and the truth is that I'm not the same person I was when I – when I –"

"When you loved him," Killian whispered.

"Right, when I loved him. He's Henry's father, and he's a big part of my life, but if being the Savior has taught me anything, it's that love isn't supposed to be that hard. I want more than the baggage and the history. I want to be chosen and to choose in turn. I also like a guy who's in it 'for the long haul.'" That last part she said in an imitation of his accent and it brought a smile to her lips once more. Killian scratched behind his ear nervously.

"How much of our exchange did you see, love?"

"Nearly all of it. I saw that tick you had right here," her fingers ran across his jaw, "when Neal approached you. Saw that flash of jealousy in your eyes, but I wanted to hear what you said. Needed that final bit of proof to know I could trust my instincts."

"And did I pass, love?" She nodded slightly.

"Yes, you did. Because you were willing to walk away if that was what I wanted. But just to be clear, that is absolutely not what I want." He closed the remaining space between them, his hand coming just underneath her jacket to touch the fabric of her sweater underneath.

"You fancy me, Swan?" She laughed at his joke, even if she rolled her eyes a little, and the sound lit every nerve ending within him up like a firecracker. He wanted to hear that sound a million times more. He'd never tire of it.

"You could say that. I was a little hasty in Neverland… when I said it was a one time thing." Killian grinned at that.

"You've come for another kiss then, Emma?" She nodded, and before he could do anything, she pulled him down, just as she had on that blasted island. This time though, the kiss was so much more, because he knew the meaning that it held, knew that a kiss from Emma was more than just that. It was a symbol of her trust and her desire. Killian made a silent vow then and there to make sure she never regretted giving her that. When they finally pulled apart, he couldn't help but run his fingers through the golden strands of her hair. He cherished the flush on her cheeks, and the glimmer in her eyes, trying to sketch the likeness of this moment in his memory to have for the rest of his days.

"You honor me, Emma. By believing that this can be more, you give me the greatest gift."

"I'm glad you think so, because I have to warn you, I'm still terrified. I'm probably going to be really bad at this." He moved his hand down to take hers and brought her hand to his lips, brushing them gently against her knuckles.

"You're not alone, and we'll figure this out, together."

"Together," she agreed and then brought him down for another kiss.

….

 _Home time, I'm getting ready for a long night  
They say you never miss it 'til it's gone  
Well you're gone and I wish I'd done it better  
Mostly I miss having you close to me  
The only one who really ever knows me  
And I'm sorry, I promise I'll do better, better_

 _There's a hole in the middle of my heart again  
Can we start again, can we start again  
There's a hole in the middle and it never mends  
It never mends, can we start again_

 _Some nights, I kid myself I treated you right  
Lying to myself, I didn't know  
If I'm honest, I could've done it better  
You said we had it pretty much perfect  
And then you told me that you loved me  
But you're sorry, you needed something better, better_

 _There's a hole in the middle of my heart again  
Can we start again, can we start again  
There's a hole in the middle and it never mends  
It never mends, can we start again_

 _So I guess I'm gonna let you go  
But you get to keep a little bit of my soul  
So I guess I'm gonna write you out  
But I don't think I can do it to me right now  
Let's pretend that time heals all_

 _There's a hole in the middle of my heart again  
But I'm not afraid to start, again  
Start again, I'm gonna start again  
There's a hole in the middle and it never mends  
It never mends  
But I've gotta try to start again_

 _ **Post-Note: So here it is! I really hope my lovely reader likes it, and though it's kind of short, that it does your vision justice. Also, to any of my readers who at one point liked Neal, I hope this managed to still be respectful enough for you guys. While I never liked Emma and Neal's relationship, and I loathed the love-triangle angle, I know Emma enough to know that she'd never intentionally hurt him or anyone else she'd once cared about. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed and you're excited for the episode tomorrow! Thanks for reading!**_


	36. Be Without You

_**A/N: Emma has a realization while in the Underworld. The outcome? A proposal of course. Inspired by one of my all time favorite songs 'Be Without You' by Mary J Blige, which gives me the feels no matter what. It was a pleasure to incorporate into the mixtape, and I hope you guys enjoy!**_

As she trekked through the graveyard for more clues with her mother, Emma thought again that she really, _really_ wanted to be back home. She could do without the worry and the stress, and she hated to see her parents and her family struggling as she did. Her parents especially were missing Neal, their faces constantly etched in worry. Every second that they all were here, Emma felt guilt weighing down on her. Her brother, small and unaware as he was, deserved his parents, and her parents deserved their second chance to watch it all happen.

That had bothered her before, the fact that they wanted a redo, but now, Emma was more secure in who she was, and in her relationship with her parents. They'd chosen her, and they always would, going so far as to risk the chance at their future with Neal to help her find her love again. She would always be grateful, and in many ways, the choice they'd made to follow her and to save Killian had smoothed over so much of the hurt and pain from her childhood. Their love was real and certain, and they were fighting for her just as hard as they fought for her brother.

"I always liked early autumn for weddings." Her mother's comment pulled Emma from her own thoughts.

"What?" Emma couldn't keep the shock from her voice. Snow only smiled in return.

"I just keep thinking of things to look forward to, when we get home. Early autumn would be best. It can still be outside, but not too hot." This would have been the moment Emma would freak or deny or… something. But Emma simply processed her mother's statement.

"I wouldn't have any idea how to go about planning a wedding, but I always love the way the leaves look in September." Her mother grabbed her hand and smiled.

"You leave the planning to me. If there's one thing being a Queen has taught me, it's how to throw a party." Then it happened, Emma felt the giggle growing in her chest, she felt lighter, as the sound passed her lips and was released into the air.

Laughing in the red hell scape wasn't something Emma ever expected to do, but she couldn't help it. Despite the decay around them, despite the danger and the risk, Emma was having a moment, a _good_ moment. Leave it to her to have to kind of die to get there, but now that she had this clarity, she wasn't letting go. Her father chose that moment to find them and commented on Emma's happy expression.

"What is it? Did you find something?" Mary Margaret patted Emma's hand and whispered.

"She's about to." Emma hugged her Mom close and waved goodbye to her parents, setting off to find Killian. She ran through the streets of Underbrooke, trying to get back to the inverted loft and by extension to Killian. When she got there, he was mercifully alone, holding down the fort.

"Emma, love, can I get you something?" He turned towards the kitchen, waving towards the provisions they had.

"Marry me, Killian." His head swung around so quickly, she worried he would hurt himself, and his blue gaze was wide and confused, but at its core, drenched in hope.

"What did you say?" She stepped forward and put her hand against his chest.

"I told you to marry me. But I guess I should have asked, right? So, will you marry me, Killian Jones?" He stared at her, slack jawed, clearly shocked, and Emma laughed again. She had actually managed to make him speechless with her words for once. Usually it was the other way around.

"Emma, love, I don't understand." She closed the space between them and pressed her lips to his gently before pulling back.

"Remember when we first met, and we climbed the beanstalk?" He nodded.

"Aye, love, I do." She could see the burn of red in his cheeks, and knew he was probably not liking what he remembered, his flirtation and her cold hard replies. She ran her hand along the scruff of his beard and continued.

"You asked me if I had ever been in love. I told you that I hadn't, and it wasn't true. Only it kind of was, because I've never been in love like _this_ , not until you. It took time, and people thought it wouldn't last, but despite all that, I'm never happier than when I am with you. I never feel safer than when I'm in your arms, and I never want to go another day without you by my side. So marry me, please. Because I love you, and I don't want to be without you."

"I think it is I who should be asking you, but hell if I care. Yes, Emma, I will marry you. Nothing would make me happier." Emma was so overjoyed at his response, that she pulled him down for a kiss, one that instantly ran passed demanding and on to sizzling. If he hadn't pulled back, Emma would have demanded they move upstairs, and address the overwhelming need clawing at her, but as it was, she wanted to hear him out, so she brought them down to sit on the couch together.

"Emma, love, I feel it only honorable to tell you that you shouldn't marry me because you fear my leaving. Nothing could keep me away from you, clearly not even death." He smiled at that and she shook her head.

"It's not about fear. It's about hope, and truth, and our future. It's about what we're fighting for. I want to fight to get home. I want the big white wedding, which I didn't think I ever would have. I want my Dad to walk me down the aisle and my Mom to use a whole box of Kleenex crying. I want to see my son in his first tuxedo, and most of all I want to get to you and stand up in front of everyone in our crazy little town to tell them you're mine." His voice came out rougher than usual, as if charged with emotion.

"I want all of that too, Emma. More than anything." His lips were on hers again, and she clutched at his dark hair, that was getting so long as time was passing. Oh well, the better to run her fingers through. This time though, she pulled back, having one last thing to say.

"There's something else. When we get married… I think I want… no I _know_ I want more kids." She felt his arms tighten around her.

"You mean it, Swan?" The happiness in his voice was undeniable and she looked up into his blue eyes and saw all the love in the world there. She nodded, tears gathering in her eyes and spilling over happily onto her cheeks. His thumb cleared them away.

"I love you. And I want the whole thing. I want every part of the happily ever after." He stood up, extending his hand to bring her with him.

"Then you shall have it love. Now come on, we've got a bloody maniacal lord of the Underworld to defeat."

Perhaps it was just good timing, or perhaps it was the new driving force that motivated her and the others, but they did just that, staking out the impossible – a path that lead them all home. And when they got there, Emma and Killian made good on their wishes and dreams for the future. They did indeed get a fairytale ending, and truth be told, it was one that was worthy of any true love.

…

 _Chemistry was crazy from the get-go  
Neither one of us knew why  
We didn't build nothing overnight  
'Cause a love like this takes some time  
People swore it off as a phase  
Said we can't see that  
Now from top to bottom  
They see that we did that (yes)  
It's so true that (yes)  
We've been through it (yes)  
We got real shit (yes)  
See, baby, we been..._

 _Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you, baby)  
And I'll be waiting up until you get home ('cause I can't sleep without you, baby)  
Anybody who's ever loved ya know just what I feel  
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it  
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby_

 _I got a question for ya  
See I already know the answer  
But still I wanna ask you  
Would you lie? (No)  
Make me cry? (No)  
Do somethin' behind my back and then try to cover it up?  
Well, neither would I, baby  
My love is only your love (yes)  
I'll be faithful (yes)  
I'm for real (yes)  
And with us you'll always know the deal  
We've been..._

 _Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you, baby)  
And I'll be waiting up until you get home ('cause I can't sleep without you, baby)  
Anybody who's ever loved ya know just what I feel  
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it  
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby_

 _See this is real talk  
I'm a always stay (no matter what)  
Good or bad (thick and thin)  
Right or wrong (all day, everyday)  
Now if you're down on love, or don't believe  
This ain't for you (no, this ain't for you)  
And if you got it deep in your heart  
And deep down you know that it's true (come on, come on, come on)  
Well, let me see you put your hands up (hands up)  
(Fellas, tell your lady she's the one)  
Fellas, tell your lady she's the one, oh  
Put your hands up (hands up)  
(Ladies, let him know he's got your love)  
Look him right in his eyes and tell him  
We've been..._

 _Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you, baby)  
And I'll be waiting up until you get home ('cause I can't sleep without you, baby)  
Anybody who's ever loved ya know just what I feel  
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it  
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby_

 _I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you  
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you  
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you  
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you  
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you_

 _ **Post-Note: Two chapters today guys, mostly because I am shameless and love me some proposal fluff. Where as my other update today had Killian popping the question, I felt like I hadn't written Emma writing in a while, so here we are. Hope you guys enjoy!**_


	37. Don't Be Shy

_**A/N: Cannon divergent fic that adds a scene to 1x02 for OUAT. Killian is actually one of the cursed townspeople in Storybrooke, and Emma meets him. She's driven to the docks, hoping the water would calm her down having met Henry and seeing that he's not happy here. Killian is there, as he runs the marina, and though he likely would have had a cursed name, I kept him Killian so as not to cause confusion. Inspired by Don't Be Shy by Cat Stevens which played at the beginning of the episode as everyone notices the clock.**_

 _Do I want to run anymore?_ The thought was clawing at Emma as she stared out into the ocean along the Storybrooke docks. Her head was telling her that it was for the best, just keep moving, keep your head down and survive. That was the goal, to get through it.

But her heart was another story. The voice inside that she always tampered down, the one that thought maybe there could be more wouldn't shut up. She had a son, and he was great, if clearly a little troubled with some stuff he was working through. Who could blame him, though? Between finding out he was adopted, his witch of a Mom and the almost suffocating picturesqueness of the town, it was a lot to deal with at ten.

When she'd found Henry earlier at the playground, she'd noticed the ocean surrounding them and had found it calming, even if the conversation itself was fraught with too much emotion. Henry understood that she had wanted to give him his best chance, and hearing him say that, and then say that he still wanted and needed her had cut through so many of her walls and the guards around her heart. Life had hardened her, had taught her that it was better to go it alone, but what if Henry, hopeful and a little off as he was, was right? What if being there for him could help him? What if it could help her?

"Pardon me, lass, but are you quite alright?" Emma bristled at the concern, but turned to see a man who looked simultaneously kind and incredibly good-looking. She was stunned into a momentary silence by the way the wind caught his short black locks and the look of sincerity in his deep blue eyes.

"Yeah," she said, shaking off the instant attraction she had to him. Thinking like that would get her in trouble. "I'm fine, thanks."

Where she expected him to walk away and leave her alone, he surprised her by taking a seat on the dock beside her.

"I don't need company, if that's what you were thinking." He gave a throaty laugh at that and the sound gripped at her, making her warm as it scared her in the intensity it brought forth.

"Perhaps it's I who needs the company, love. Might I ask the name of my new companion, or is that perhaps not conducive to your staring longingly out into the sea?" Emma tried to fight it, but a smile tugged at her lips.

"You want me to give a strange man my name?"

"How silly of me, perhaps if I introduce myself first. Killian Jones, at your service." He made a sort of bow and Emma couldn't explain it, but she felt like despite barely knowing him, she could trust him, at least with her name.

"Emma Swan." His eyes grew wide in understanding.

"Ah, so you're the strange lass causing quite a stir through town." Emma raised a brow in response.

"Strange? That's what people are calling me?" He grinned at that.

"What would you rather? Beautiful? Strong? Fiercely independent?" She rolled her eyes to deflect the fact that she'd liked his compliment while feeling like she'd already given herself away too much.

"I'd rather people didn't talk, but I guess that's a lot to ask of a place like this." He looked back out to the sea and his smile faded slightly.

"It's a secluded corner of the world for sure. My apologies that we don't have enough to entertain except the comings and goings of mysterious blondes." She followed his gaze back out to the waves that were calm as they lapped against the coast. Emma knew better than to think that it was safe though. Anything that big and that unknown was to be treated lightly, even if she'd always wondered what it would be like to truly experience life out there.

"How do you work here day in and day out and not dream of just taking off, setting sail and getting away?" She almost wished she could take the question back once it was said aloud. She really shouldn't have been talking with him this long, or letting the connection between them grow, but she liked the way he talked, and the way he seemed easy going and unaffected. Killian shrugged.

"The thought has occurred to me once or twice."

"I feel like it would plague me. I'd never be able to shake it. I don't usually do well in the same place for long." Though as she said the words, Emma had to admit that Storybrooke, with all its strangeness and the hot bed of emotional chaos that could come with reconnecting with her son, had a lot of things calling to her. One of those things, she would never actually admit, was the man beside her. He was curious and refreshing.

"Fancy yourself a pirate love? I could see you, wind in your golden hair, barking orders and cruising the perilous seas for adventure." Emma laughed at that, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd done that, but with Killian it had been easy.

"That's not really my story."

"Ah so you do have a story then, I assumed as much. A sad one, I daresay. But chin up, love. I have a feeling that the tides are changing, and the wind is blowing at your will." She searched his eyes for traces of bullshit. How could this guy be real? The accent, the looks, the charm… Yet he seemed so genuine. Underneath the flirtation was truth. How incredibly terrifying.

"How do you know I have a sad story?"

"Your eyes. You're a bit of an open book, truth be told. But no worries, lass, your secrets are your own. I know better than to push someone." He rose from the sand and extended a hand to her, one that she took. Her skin tingled at the warmth of where he'd touched her, and his hand lingered a moment too long. When she looked into his eyes, she saw that he too was feeling whatever this was.

 _Don't risk it, back away slowly,_ Emma. The voice in her head was chastising her for partaking in whatever this was, but another voice, a more hopeful one, the one that had also told her she should give her kid the benefit of the doubt was telling her to stay. Not everyone had to be the same breed of loser that had left her to rot in prison, right?

"Well it was nice meeting you." Emma said as she gave him a small smile and she watched his blue eyes track the motion. She felt so on display in front of him, as if he could see through her, but then he grinned in reply.

"The pleasure was all mine, Swan." Then he took her hand again and kissed it, before turning away and heading back down towards the marina.

 _What the hell was that?_ Emma thought as she headed back into town. Whatever it was… she didn't hate it. Not even a little.

…..

 _Don't be shy, just let your feelings roll on by  
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there  
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead  
And don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by_

 _On by, on by, on by  
On by, on by, on by  
On by, on by, on by_

 _You know love is better than a song  
Love is where all of us belong  
So don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by  
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there_

 _You're there, you're there, you're there  
You're there, you're there, you're there  
You're there, you're there, you're there_

 _You don't be shy, just let your feelings roll on by  
And don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there  
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead  
No, don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by_

 _On by, on by, on by  
On by, on by, on by_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a baby fic to round out my day. I am so anxious for Captain Swan happiness to return, that I just pretended they were on their way towards it that first season. Hope you guys liked it, and thanks for reading!**_


	38. All I Ask of You

_**A/N: One of my lovely followers a while back, asked me to include this song from The Phantom of the Opera in the Mixtape. I considered for a while how I could incorporate it, and then it hit me – what would life be like in Storybrooke, if they had a prolonged quiet moment? So, my personal head cannon is that Henry, as the author and a lover of stories, becomes the student director of Storybrooke High's portrayal of Phantom of the Opera. The soundtrack has been playing on a loop for nearly three months in Emma and Killian's home. Just a fun, fluffy, Post-Underworld fic that I hope you guys enjoy!**_

Emma was a fair weather fan of musical theater. Some shows were a hit for her, like _Mama Mia_ or _Rent_ or _Hamilton_. For whatever reason, something from the stories or the music would spark in her and she'd find herself enjoying it even if she never lost herself in them. Others fell flat or were ruined by things that she knew to be true that the rest of the world didn't (like how no one in Storybrooke could manage to connect to _Wicked_ since they knew the sister in person, and she was kind of a witch). That being said, sometimes she found herself craving a bit of the theater, even if she almost always opted for a movie or TV.

Henry, on the other hand, had never met a musical he didn't like, and as the years had passed, and things had started to quiet down, Henry found himself elected the student director of the winter musical. Excited to lead and to finally have an outlet worthy of his creativity, Henry threw himself into drama headfirst.

Now, as a senior, Henry grappled with some big questions, like which story the school could afford that would have enough intrigue and enough hope, enough heart and enough soul, enough beauty and enough darkness, to satisfy everyone. Henry was all about well-rounded depictions and pushing the teenagers of Storybrooke out of their comfort zones. After toying around with a number of ideas, he'd landed on a classic - _The Phantom of the Opera._

" _So the man stalks around an old theater where people perform operas and the like, donning a cape and a mask and singing his feelings and his threats?"_ Killian had asked a few months back.

" _Yeah, pretty much. But trust me, we could have done a lot worse. If we had to listen to 'Tradition' from_ Fiddler on the Roof _for three months, you and I would have never survived."_ Little did she know, that even with a great show, there would still be problematic effects, like how after seeing the movie three times and hearing the soundtrack nearly a hundred, Emma knew every word of every song, and almost every line from every character.

Killian was in even worse shape, because Henry, smart and precocious and determined as he was, had snuffed out that Killian could sing, and insisted that his stepfather help with the rehearsals. So, while Emma got to defend the town at the sheriff's station, Killian was bringing baby Liam and his twin sister Leia to the high school three days a week to help with feedback and tips for the puberty-stricken teens. Every night Killian came home, fatigued from the constant bombardment of the story and the songs, but every night he also reminded her that this was nothing compared to what they'd faced in the past.

"I can handle voice cracking and naïve actors who haven't ever actually felt love, Emma. We took on the bloody lord of the Underworld and made it through. Surely, one more week of this is nothing." But as the show descended into its tech week, the second hand symptoms of the theater clutched at Emma and Killian alike. Through the day, Emma would find herself humming to 'Angel of Music' or 'The Music of the Night,' driving her father, and anyone else around crazy.

"None of us are every going to be able to watch this show again," her mother said one night at a family dinner, after Henry had excused himself up to his room and put the cast album on once more. "Which is such a shame because it has so much passion."

"We've reached the point where I dream about the bloody show," Killian confessed and Emma nodded, like it was the most natural thing in the world. As she held Leia on her lap, even her daughter's soft murmurs seemed to hark to the story. There was no escaping it.

"Last night I dreamed Liam and Hope were older, and they got sucked into another world where the play was true, and because they spent so much of their formative years listening to this, they knew everything before it was happening. They were like little _Phantom_ prophets." Everyone laughed, but it was completely true. At nearly two years old, and barely speaking, her son and daughter were hearing this all on a loop, and seemed to love it. They never cried, never fussed, just played around as the show went on around them. It would have been hilarious, if it weren't so strange.

"I think you all need to prepare yourself for the chance that the theater train won't end with Henry." Regina's words were fair, and more than likely hinted at what would come to be.

"That'll be up to them, but forgive me if I try my damndest to get them interested in sailing or music or even that blasted soccer game every child in this town carries on about." Killian's tone was sincere, but underneath, Emma knew without a doubt that even if they were destined for a solid sixteen years of more plays like this, she and Killian would still feel like the luckiest people on earth.

The days came and went, and finally, opening night was upon them. Henry was a bundle of nerves, and Emma and Regina had both been struck by how little he wanted from either of them in preparation. Killian though, was feeling the demand, and had made himself available to Henry all through the week and early into the premiere night. It wasn't until she'd found her seats, with her parents, Regina, and Belle that Emma saw her husband again. Having left Liam and Leia at home, they were strapped in for a night of more _Phantom_.

"Did you see the programs?" Belle asked thoughtfully and Emma immediately flipped through the pages. There on the second sheet of paper read _'A special thanks to Killian Jones for his tireless work. And to our families, all of whom are likely tired of_ Phantom _already. That any of you came at all is proof enough that you love us.'_ Emma couldn't stop the happy tears from forming.

"He certainly has a way with words," Killian said as he took Emma's hand in his. She heard the pride in Killian's voice, and she leaned over to kiss him lightly on the cheek just as the lights dimmed, and the curtains came up.

The entire audience sat there captivated throughout the show. Henry had done a wonderful job, and the kids were so much better than Emma had expected. Killian had kept it a secret just how much they'd managed to accomplish and it made it all the sweeter. But still, Emma caught herself mumbling the words of some of the songs underneath her breath, almost like she couldn't help it. Sensing this, Killian tightened his hold on her during one song in particular. During 'All I Ask of You,' Emma and Killian mouthed the words to each other from Raoul and Christine, as the song was strangely perfect for the two of them, if airing on the dramatic side.

 _(Raoul)  
No more talk of darkness  
Forget these wide-eyed fears  
I'm here, nothing can harm you  
My words will warm and calm you_

 _Let me be your freedom  
Let daylight dry your tears  
I'm here, with you, beside you  
To guard you and to guide you_

 _(Christine)  
Say you'll love me every waking moment  
Turn my head with talk of summer time  
Say you need me with you now and always  
Promise me that all you say is true  
That's all I ask of you_

 _[Raoul]  
Let me be your shelter  
Let me be your light  
You're safe, no one will find you  
Your fears are far behind you_

 _[Christine]  
All I want is freedom  
A world with no more night  
And you, always beside me  
To hold me and to hide me_

 _[Raoul]  
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
Let me lead you from your solitude  
Say you need me with you here, beside you  
Anywhere you go, let me go too  
Christine, that's all I ask of you_

 _[Christine]  
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
Say the word and I will follow you_

 _[Both]  
Share each day with me, each night, each morning_

 _[Christine]  
Say you love me_

 _[Raoul]  
You know I do_

 _[Both]  
Love me, that's all I ask of you._

 _[Both]  
Anywhere you go, let me go too  
Love me, that's all I ask of you_

"You two are so weird." Granny grumbled to them from the row just behind after witnessing that display and Killian's only response was to put his arm around Emma possessively.

They enjoyed the rest of the show without any other outbursts, and when the curtain went down, and the crowd rose in their seats for a standing ovation, Emma couldn't help the happy tears streaming down her face. The kids did their bows and Henry got his flowers and his moment in the spotlight, and all those months of borderline torture became so worth it in an instant. She couldn't recall the last time she saw her son this happy, and she hoped it lasted as long as it possibly could.

"Wow, you guys really thought I was going to mess this up." Henry said as he finally made his way to the family and found both his Moms and his grandmother at a loss for words. Emma pulled him in for a big hug and laughed at his joke.

"I think we're all just shocked that after all this time, we survived one final night of this," David replied.

"Tell me about it. I'm swearing this show off for the foreseeable future." Henry's words were greeted by a disbelieving laugh smothered by a cough from Killian.

"I give you six months, a year tops." Henry shrugged and gave his stepfather a hug. "Thanks for all the help, Killian. You know, they'll probably ask you to take over for me when I graduate." Killian shook his head with a ferocity that had them all laughing again except for Mary Margaret who had turned red.

"No way you guys actually thought you'd convince him to do this again, Mom," Emma chastised. Her mother mumbled that one could dream, and the laughter continued.

Later that night, after Henry was home from his celebration with the cast and Emma and Killian had put the little ones to bed, Emma had a small moment of sadness that their time with the story had come to an end. It lasted about thirty seconds, until she heard Killian humming along to one of the songs as he brushed his teeth. Only then did Emma realize that it would never be over, and that might actually be a good thing.

 _ **Post-Note: As I said before, this is just a fun little fluff piece shouting out to a show I love with some fun post-big bad life head cannons. I really hope that someday, far from now, when OUAT ends, that they give all these characters the normalish sense of home most of them have been craving, but until then, and just in case they don't, expect more fics like this in the CS Mixtape to come. Thanks again for reading, and as always, let me know if there's a song you love that you think works with Captain Swan, and I will do my best to get it in here!**_


	39. Iris

_**A/N: This chapter update brought to you by a lovely follower song request for anything Goo Goo Dolls involving an Underbrooke plot line. Ask and you shall receive. Welcome to this edition of Captain Swan proposal fluff, featuring stolen moments in Hell, a cute Captain Charming moment, and a heck of a lot of feelings. Hope you guys enjoy!**_

"We should never have come down here!" Regina was screaming at this point, and though Killian knew it stemmed from stress and fear, the sound was harsh and grating. Hades had won another small battle, the hope of getting home was being put to the test, and Regina was starting to crack under the pressure. Still, even though he understood why she was being like this, it set Killian on edge to hear the once Evil Queen descend to such darkness again.

"All for this pirate whose still sulking about because we risked ourselves to save him. I mean really, how long is it going to take for you to understand that what is done is done? Whether you deserved it or not, we came for you and now we're trapped here!"

The shift in her ire to Killian's own sense of self was surprising, seeing as the past few days had allowed Killian to come to terms with the fact that he was worthy of a future with Emma, and that he was willing to fight for it no matter what the cost. If anything it had been Emma who was struggling, believing that by coming here and bringing her family along that she had failed them. Yet, Regina was insistent, and Killian gathered it was likely more a consequence of her temporary separation from Robin than anything Killian himself had done. Where Killian planned on biting his tongue, and letting her get it out though, Emma went rigid and was now surging with her own anger.

"Shut up, Regina." Emma's words were a growl of barely restrained aggression, and though Regina seemed surprised, she kept at it.

"Or what, Emma? What could you do that would possibly be worse than being trapped here?" A wind picked up around Emma, the gusts of it causing her blonde hair to swirl and twist all around. Killian knew that Emma's emotions were running away with her magic, and that it could make her unpredictable, though where the others moved back, he moved forward, touching her arm. He needed to stop the storm before it set into a full blown twister.

"Emma." That was all he said, just her name softly, and the winds died down, the tension in her face eased slightly, and her breathing evened out. "Let's get some air." Killian led her out of the Underbrooke apartment to get them some space from the others. Much help as it was to have a band of heroes together fighting for goodness, it was also suffocating, and clearly the closeness was getting to Emma who was already barely sleeping and internalizing everything that went wrong.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered. Killian ran his hand across her cheek and shook his head.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Emma, not with me. If you want to talk about it we can, if you want something else, that's fine too. Whatever you need." Emma was still looking down at her feet, but finally, her green eyes came up to look into his and he saw the tears gathered there. Too many times since she'd found him had he seen these unshed tears, and he vowed silently to himself that when they were finally home, he'd protect her from anything and everything that would bring her pain like this. He hated this helpless feeling, like he couldn't be everything she needed. He just wanted her agony to end, and he wanted them safe and alive and out of this red hell-scape.

"I know she's trying to be good, and I know that can't be easy, but sometimes the things she says. I just want to throttle her."

"She's scared, Swan. Surely you can see that." Emma nodded.

"We're all scared, but then she lashes out at you. She picks at old wounds and the aim is to inflict pain. She wants you to doubt yourself… to doubt that we're worth fighting for, and I can't accept that."

"I think you may be giving her majesty a bit too much power. The Queen has always been filled with hot air, whether teasing or sincere, she speaks first and thinks later. You just have to remember that her words have no bearing over you, or over me." Emma took a step closer, whether she'd intended to or not, and Killian brought his hand to her hip, finding a place just under her jacket to hold onto.

"So you're not still doubting me coming for you?" Ah, there it was, her sincere worry, the one that Regina had unexpectedly stumbled upon.

"No, Emma. Before you were here, I still had hope for your future, but I allowed myself to dream of what it would be like to be with you again. I would have given up forever just to touch you one more time, just to feel the goodness and the light you give me once more. You are the closest to heaven I've ever been, and that fact, that inescapable truth, lets me know that there is no beyond worth having without you by my side." Emma's tears spilled over, running down her cheeks that Killian quickly wiped away. When she spoke again, her voice was clogged with emotion.

"This is why I could never let you go, it wasn't an option. You make me feel… everything and even though we're stuck here, with no visible way out, there's a part of me that's so happy, because you believe in us." Where fear had once resided in the green depths of her eyes, Killian only say relief now, and his own helplessness slipped away. Perhaps he could do something, perhaps he could simply remind her every moment that she doubted that they were stronger together than apart.

"I will never again make the mistake of second guessing us. It was willful blindness, but you know who I am, you know the man I've come to be, the one I want to stay the rest of my days." Killian had more he wanted to say, but he thought now hardly the time, and then he realized, if not now, when? Emma wanted honesty and assurances. He owed it to her to give her just that.

"I love you, Emma, and when we get home, when we finally defeat Hades and find our second chance in the world above, I'm going to ask you a question. I'm going to ask you to be my wife, and to let me spend every day for the rest of my life with you." He watched her eyes grow wider, and then a smile appear at her lips. The response was everything he'd hoped for.

"And I'm going to say yes." Then she was pulling him down for a kiss that had any of the lingering tension ebbing away. When they finally pulled apart, both Emma and Killian were filled with a resolute need to find a way back home and it was that motivation, that internal drive, that brought the answer forward, and made finding their way home a possibility once more.

…

Two days after arriving home in Storybrooke, Killian was restless. True, he and Emma had the moment in Underbrooke when she told him that she would say yes to his proposal. Hell, by many standards, that was a type of engagement in itself, but he had to find a way to make the official question something worthy of her. Their whole life, it seemed was a series of stories, and they were surrounded by the potential happily ever afters of some of the fairytale world's biggest players. Now Killian needed to find a way to compare.

"I don't know why you're so worried," Henry said as he watched Killian pacing around the house he and Emma were now finally sharing. "You guys finally had your true love's kiss, it's not like she's going to say no." The lad had a point, and the memory of breaking free from the Underworld and saving her loved ones through the bond between himself and Emma still filled him up with pride and a profound sense of joy.

"You're the author, lad. Surely you can see I have some significant competition." Henry considered that for a second and then smiled.

"Maybe that's the key. Maybe you have to look back at you and Mom's story to know the right way. Grandma and Grandpa's proposal would have seemed kind of lame if they hadn't had their history just so." Killian considered this, and then it hit him, one of the moments that he could use – a common thread in the story of him and Emma. It would take a lot of work, especially since he had no magic of his own, but it would be worth it to give Emma a space in time that was good and whole and not threatened by impending darkness or doom. If he could rewrite a series of events, and find a way to remove the underscore of pain or doubt, wouldn't that be the best gift to give? Surely it must be.

So Killian, with the assistance of Henry, set out to accomplish such a feat. In their travels, they enlisted the others as well, and Killian even got to have one of those much-feared conversations with the father of his would-be fiancé.

"So were you thinking you'd ask my permission or…?" David asked as they worked throughout the yard of Emma and Killian's house in preparation. Killian scratched behind his ear, and opted for sincerity over his usual bravado.

"Emma is hardly the type of woman who would need her father's permission, mate." David laughed at that.

"You've got me there. You were right, you know."

"I usually am, but about what specifically?" David smirked at Killian and continued on.

"When we were fighting the Snow Queen, you said that whatever the two of you became, was up to her as much as it was to you. I know my daughter, and I know that there is never going to be another person who makes her happier than you do, or who fights harder to keep her safe. So, even if you don't want my blessing you have it." Killian felt his chest tightening at the words. This kind of acceptance, even from Emma's family, continued to amaze him.

"So that's why you all came down to rescue me then," Killian said and David nodded. "Come now, Dave, admit that you missed me too. You couldn't let your best mate rot in that hell hole." Killian watched as Dave gave him the look that Emma did so often that silently portrayed how ridiculous he was being, but Killian couldn't help it. It was fun to get this family riled up.

"You are _not_ my best mate."

"Actually, I think I probably am. Unless you're counting your wife, your daughter, or your grandson. Or maybe the Queen? No, it's a sad state of affairs but I think I've stumbled upon the truth. Horrible luck that you, a prince, has ended up with only me." David laughed, just as Snow arrived at the house with more suggestions and a plan to surprise Emma that ceased conversation about David and Killian's level of friendship.

The next few hours brought the manifestation of everything Killian had hoped for, and with just a few minutes before Emma should be arriving, Killian was looking at himself once more in the full-length mirror that hung within their bedroom. The man staring back at him was hopeful and happy and a bit nervous, but he was more a man than the one who had been looking back at him all those years before Emma. She had brought out the goodness inside him and she had shown him that it wasn't something to run from or disregard, but something to embrace.

With that thought, and a brilliant plan in hand, Killian made his way back down the stairs and outside onto the porch. No sooner had he stepped out there then Regina, Henry and Emma appeared by magic.

"What the hell are-" Emma's words cut off as she looked at Killian, dressed more formally, if still in his usual black. Killian spared a seconds glance to his helpers and Regina quickly _poofed_ herself and her son away, leaving Killian and Emma alone.

"Did I miss something? Are we going out?" Killian grinned.

"In a way, yes. Do you trust me, Emma?" She nodded immediately, there was no doubt in her gaze or in her manner and that sent a happy sort of hum coursing through Killian. With that, he took her hand in his and led her down the steps and through the green of the lawn. Where there was once only grass though, now there was a beautiful path laid out, outlined in flowers of every variety. Killian had done his research, found every kind of flower Emma had ever shown any sort of interest in to any person in town, and gathered them all from the local florist. On the path itself, there were irises, daisies and buttercups, and if Emma's happy gaze was anything to go off of, she was happy with the choices.

"Killian, what is all this?" He remained quiet, and when they stepped into the backyard, it was nearly an exact replica of the field of roses from their time in Camelot. He heard her gasp and her hold on his hand tightened. The flowers had been meticulously placed, throughout the yard, and around the edges, actual rose bushes had been brought in, so that each year Emma could have roses to remind her of this moment and remind her in yet another way how much Killian loved her, and how he always would.

"How did you do all of this?"

"Pure force of will," he teased as she laughed and then he admitted her family's eagerness to help.

"It's so beautiful," she marveled as she took it all in, "It's just like our roses…" Her thought trailed off, but Killian knew that she understood what he had meant with the display. He took this as his sign - it was now or never. Reaching into the ivy vines that clung to the white overhang that he and David had put up today, Killian pulled out a single rose, which though originally red, had been dipped in a magical potion courtesy of Regina. To keep it alive for years to come, a strong enchantment was needed, and the aura clung to it with a golden light.

"For you, love."

"Just like our first date," she whispered, and then she covered her mouth and tears formed in her eyes as Killian got down on one knee before her, and pulled the box he'd been hiding in his jacket pocket.

"Emma Swan, from the moment I met you in the Enchanted Forest, I knew there was something about you that was different. It took me mere hours to find that what I saw in you was recognition. In many ways you are my likeness, but you are far more than that. You are my salvation. I never dreamed I'd fall in love again, let alone with someone like you, but the greatest thing that has ever happened in my long life, was having you love me in return. I will never be able to tell you what it means to know that you will always find me, to know that you have fought tooth and nail for this without hesitation. All I ask, is that you let me love you and let me prove my love to you each and every day, for as long as we both shall live. Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

"Yes." The word rang out clear as a bell and sounded through the air like the lightest chime. In a flash, Killian had returned to his feet and had slipped the ring he'd chosen for her onto her finger, trying to take his time, and to give her this moment. His Swan had other plans though, not even taking a second to admire the band before pulling him down to her for a demanding, soul-reviving kiss. For a moment, one perfect, ethereal moment, they were lost to each other, fully grounded in the one fact that their love was real and that it was true. Interruption came a few seconds later though, when they heard a loud _harrumph_ from the back porch.

They turned to find, as Killian had planned, that Emma's whole family was in attendance. Snow was crying far more than Emma a fountain of happy tears as she held little Neal. Henry was grinning, excited for his mother and for Killian. Regina too was smiling, if a bit more held back than the rest, but Dave was standing there, hands on his hips, looking just as grumpy as he had all those months ago when Killian had picked up Emma for that first date.

"Oh my God it really is just like our first date, all we need is –" At that moment, Snow snapped a picture of Emma and Killian still holding on to each other and Emma groaned, burying her face into the warmth of Killian's chest. He couldn't resist a loud laugh at that, and he felt Emma laughing too, the vibrations sending his senses into overdrive. Before bringing her up to see the others, Killian whispered one question to his beloved.

"Are you happy, Emma?" She shook her head.

"I am so beyond that. I love you, forever."

"As I love you."

….

 _And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

 _And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
And sooner or later it's over  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

 _And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 _And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

 _And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 _And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 _And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 _I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am_

 _ **Post-Note: I hope that you guys liked this chapter! And to the awesome follower who recommended it, I hope I did you right! Thanks so much for the suggestion, and everyone keep them coming. Until next time friends!**_


	40. Help Me Close My Eyes

_**A/N: Despite the premonitions she's having, Emma needs to sleep, and the only way she can do it without being plagued by visions is with Killian at her side. Includes a cool way I wish they'd end the season and defeat Hades, in which we get more of the Greek Gods intervening. Not super developed, but heck, it wont happen anyways, so why put too much into developing it? Inspired by 'Help Me Close My Eyes' by Those Dancing Days.**_

"I just can't. Every time I close my eyes, it's another vision. When we get home, I promise I'll sleep, I promise." Emma had made that promise countless times over the past few days, and though Killian trusted that she'd make good on it, he also knew that like it or not, Emma needed her rest. She was moving past exhaustion to the point where she could really hurt herself.

There was no denying that Emma needed to be sleeping more. They'd now been in the Underworld for almost a week, and any rest had been so minimal it was causing her to make mistakes. Couple that with the fitful restlessness she'd been succumbing to back in Storybrooke in the wake of Killian's death, and Emma couldn't remember the last time she'd really truly relaxed. Just a few hours would make all the difference. They'd elevate her from the almost zombie she was now to someone who could look at their problems head on and really make a difference, but she never felt safe enough or let her guard down enough to sleep, or so she thought.

The truth was, that Emma was nodding off more and more. The moment on the roof was one of many, and the common thread that it took Killian's nearness to lull her to that level of comfort. The others knew this, Killian perhaps most keenly, and so they set up a plan to have Emma sleeping even if she didn't intend to. All it took was a 'project' for her to address on the couch of the Underbrooke apartment with Killian by her side and a cup of cocoa that they'd only been able to procure through some pretty strong magic from Regina. It was well worth the effort though, for within minutes, Emma was resting her head against Killian's shoulder and nodding off to sleep.

Nothing but the very realest of threats could have torn Killian from Emma's side in this moment, and he knew this was the greatest gift he could give anyone in the coalition that had come to save him. Without Emma operating at full speed, they were doomed to more time in this stale, decaying wasteland. Still, despite everyone's agreement that this was necessary, Killian wasn't spared the stern looks and grumbled musings of a pretty peeved David. Only worry for his daughter kept the Prince from pulling Emma off of Killian, and only the soft feel of Emma against his chest kept Killian from laughing. Dave as such was quite a sight, and more than once Snow was needed to talk him down even though Killian was going out of his way to keep things appropriate. Now was hardly the time to make a scene.

Instead, Killian allowed himself to appease a need within himself, taking stock of how Emma felt pressed against him. His hand moved gently through her golden locks, but he was careful not to move her too much that she startled awake. He looked at the shape of her body wrapped up in jeans and her button down shirt. While the attire could hardly be comfortable for a normal night's sleep, it was the least of his concerns. With every passing minute, Killian felt his own internal struggle easing. Emma's health was improving, and she was safe with him right now. He hadn't dared to dream that this could happen when he'd first arrived here, and now he knew better than to take it for granted. Every moment with Emma was a gift.

A few times, Emma stirred, her hands clutching at the material of his shirt as she mumbled nonsense about the trees and the birds, about the sea and the air. Each time Killian merely hummed to the tune of a song she'd shown him before she'd given herself to the darkness. Only a few bars into the song and she would be lulled back to sleep, but Killian would continue, humming along at an easy pace, as if she was nothing more than an uneasy babe. He kept it up until his own eyes began to close, and after making sure that Regina was on lookout, he felt himself fall into sleep too.

…..

 _At first, the dream before him seemed like his own brain's response to Emma's words. He watched the red sky of the Underworld darken with clouds – another storm was rolling in, but where the last had been a twister, this one had lightening and rain, so much rain it flooded the streets and lightening scorched the earth. The seas grew wilder, more untamed, and Killian looked around in every direction, there was danger. Suddenly though he stood with Emma at his side._

" _Emma, love, what do we do?" She shook her head, holding back her tears, the fear clear in her eyes, and only then did he see that Emma's hands were stretched out as if the whole world was spinning out of control at her request – this magic, whatever it was, was tied to her. The elements were frenzied, and the woman he loved was trapped in the midst of it all. On instinct he reached towards her, clutching her wrist and feeling a powerful charge rush through his body._

Likely her magic _, he thought but he still moved closer._

" _Killian, you have to get out of here. I can't hold it off much longer, please." Her whispered plea fell on deaf ears, for there was no way he'd leave her, not now not ever. Instead he moved his hand to her cheek and wiped away the tears that were spilling there. Then he had a realization, and a surge of hope that maybe something that had failed him in the past would finally work._

" _Don't let it win, Emma. Choose love, choose me." Then he lowered his head and kissed her, absorbing all the sadness and terror and raw energy that she was carrying. A rainbow colored light spread out around them and he heard her gasp as they came apart._

" _We did it," she sounded awed and so happy as all around them the red haze faded, the grass grew greener, and plants sprung to life around them. He could have sworn that they were returning to the old Storybrooke, the one they were fighting to return to._

" _Did what, love?" She looked at him and smiled, the action filling his chest with a rush of warmth._

" _True loves kiss will break any curse, like the one devised to keep Hades and the souls he watched over here. We destroyed the Underworld… I think we just won."_

….

Killian startled awake just as Emma did and instantly they met each other's eyes.

"Was that…?" Emma nodded.

"Another vision, one where we win." She held his hand tightly and Killian watched the hope return to her beautiful green eyes once more. Gone was the haunted stare and crumbling bravery, and here was Emma, his Emma, once more.

Quickly, they told the others what they had seen, Emma of course had much more to go off of as she'd slept far longer and seen much more of what they should be expecting, and in the end, it happened just as in her dream. The storm, the magic, the turmoil, it was all caused by Hades brothers Zeus and Poseidon, who had certain safeguards against Hades ultimate plan to return to Olympus. Unfortunately for all the souls in the Underworld, their existence was deemed inferior to containing Hades, and had it not been for Emma and Killian's kiss, all the souls in the realm would have been lost. As it was, their love had broken the curse in time for any remaining souls to move on and for the heroes to make it home. They didn't know for certain what happened to Hades, but wherever he was, Killian hoped he was suffering. That blasted God deserved an eternity of damnation in his eyes.

As for Emma's visions, there were no real answers, not even from Rumple, who was no longer useful to anyone. While they all knew better than to antagonize the Dark One, each member of the town also knew that there would be no coming back for the beast, and so any semblance of trust that had existed was no more. Indeed, Emma vowed not to take his help even if he did come to understand her new abilities. Wherever this gift had come from, it had served Emma well, and she had used it for good. She wanted to stay that course of light and leave the darkness in her past where it belonged.

Yet, when they returned to their own world, and their home in Storybrooke, Emma was still hesitant to sleep, much to the bewilderment of Killian, who was still bitterly fatigued from the whole dying thing. They'd all earned a good long vacation from worry, yet still Emma looked forlorn, and unless she was calm, Killian himself could not be either.

"You're a woman of your word, Swan. That much can never be denied… so what's keeping you from it now?" She reached for him, clearly needing the contact and her whisper was so soft, he nearly missed it.

"What if I go to sleep and it was all a dream? What if I wake up and we're still trapped there? What if-" He kissed her quickly, stopping the questions before she could drive herself crazy with them.

"That's a lot of maybes, love. Trust me, this is real, we are real, and the love between us has saved us and your family. You're safe now." She closed her eyes, and nodded shakily, and Killian led her to the bed, eager to get her underneath the covers in the hopes the warmth would relax her.

"Just promise me one thing," Emma said against his chest.

"Anything, Emma."

"Promise no more leaving." He smiled and kissed her forehead lightly.

"I promise." In moments her racing heart had slowed, and he could tell she was asleep. Only then did he allow himself the same comfort, and this time, it was beautifully, wondrously dreamless for both Killian and his Swan.

….

 _Help me close my eyes  
I don't wanna see what this day was like  
Help me close my eyes  
I want to sleep without dreaming  
Cause I need them to be true_

 _I want to hide but trees are falling down  
I want to hide but mountains are melting  
I want to hide but trees are falling down  
Let me sleep without dreaming_

 _Help me close my eyes  
I'm scared to see what my dreams will be like  
Help me close my eyes  
I want to sleep without dreaming  
Cause I'm scared to see them_

 _I want to hide but trees are falling down  
I want to hide but mountains are melting  
I want to hide but trees are falling down  
Let me sleep without dreaming_

 _I breathe with a hand on my mouth  
I refuse to get poisoned  
And I swallow my shout_

 _I want to hide but trees are falling down  
I want to hide but mountains are melting  
I want to hide but every cliff is getting eaten by the sea  
I want to sleep without dreaming_

 _I want to hide  
I want to hi-i-ide  
I want to hide, Help me close my eyes  
I want to hide  
I want to hi-i-ide  
I want to hide,Help me close my eyes_

 _ **Post-Note: So this song actually came to me by way of Teen Wolf of all places. It's an excellent song though, and really stuck with me after last week's episode. Not sure if they will resolve the Emma not sleeping story with tonight's episode, but either way, it was a nice dabble with CS fluff. They've been doing a lot with Emma and Killian this season where he is the first person she turns to, and really the person she trusts most, and I think this is consistent with that. Hope you guys enjoyed, and that we all survive tonight!**_


	41. I'll Be Your Home

_**A/N: this is my rewrite of the end of 3x22 when Emma and Killian have the conversation about being in the book. I always wanted a bit more to happen, even though it's such a great scene, and this take on what could have happened was inspired by "I'll be Your Home" by Phillip LaRue**_

They'd named her brother Neal. It was a shock, and Emma couldn't truly understand if she was happy with the choice, though she would always love this little boy, and the man he was named after. She highly doubted her parents would have made the same choice if they really knew the history, if they really understood that she'd gone to jail for him, that she'd given up on love for so long because of him. He had sacrificed himself to help them, yes, and in many ways, that redeemed him, but the history was still there. The baggage was still there.

When she'd been in the Enchanted Forest though, she hadn't missed her brother's namesake. In fact, it had been many years since anything like 'missing' had resided in her heart about a man.

 _Until now,_ the voice in her head said. Emma looked around, and realized that though she was here with the family she'd been so afraid of losing, she was still missing something. She was missing Killian. Her eyes moved to look out the window of Granny's and there he sat, by himself, away from the others. He shouldn't be alone, and in many ways, without him by her side, she felt alone, even here with her family. How had this happened? How had he become so important to her? Emma had no idea, but if the past few days had taught her anything, it was that home was worth fighting for. Love, scary and terrifying as it seemed, was worth fighting for.

She made her way out of the celebration as her parents watched her curiously, but she didn't care. She was following her instincts, listening to her gut, and it was screaming at her to take the risk, to let him in. He was so close to pushing past the wall, and miraculously, she was ready, ready to let him in and to trust that someone could want her and do right by her.

"So… do you think Rumplestilskin is right?" _Good opening line, Emma. Bring up his centuries old rival and antagonist to break the ice._ But she was already going this way, she couldn't not keep going. "I'm in the book now. He said everything, besides our little adventure, would go back to normal. Do you think that it is?"

"He's right. Otherwise I'd remember that damn bar wench I kissed." Oh right, the kiss. Even if it hadn't been him, the Killian that she knew, it was still… definitely something. Emma smiled, hoping that the blush she felt coming on didn't reach her cheeks.

"How would that prove anything?" she asked, genuinely curious but trying to play it off like she wasn't.

"I know how you kiss. I'd have gone after her." Killian had moved closer to her but only slightly. She longed to close the distance, but there was something more he wanted to say. "But I didn't. My life went on exactly as before." There was no denying the sadness that had seeped it's way into his tone, and the hazy look that came to his usually clear blue eyes clutched at her heart. Emma had never seen him like this, and she wanted to make it better.

"Must have been the rum." It worked, the small smile on his face grew slightly, but then it faded, and the same uncertainty she'd seen in his eyes so often returned.

"Everything's back to normal. You're a bloody hero, Swan." And then she realized what was happening. He was doubting himself. The great and powerful Captain Hook was uncertain because of her. He might even have been afraid of her, or of his feelings for her. They were struggling with the same things, she and him, and of course they would be. You didn't fall in love with people you had nothing in common with. They were alike in so many ways, even if his life had fallen into a darkness that was more… expansive than her own.

Yet there it was again – love. That word was banging around a lot in her head these past few weeks. Each time it did, a spike of adrenaline coursed through her, but slowly, very slowly, she was beginning to adjust. Her response wasn't to flee every time she felt something. Instead she chose to test the limits, to see how good they could be, if just given the chance to try.

"So are you. I wanted to thank you, Killian. For coming back for me in the first place in New York. If you hadn't…" She couldn't even imagine how much she'd have missed out on if he hadn't.

"It was the right thing to do." Again with the modesty, with the quiet displacement of praise. He wasn't the smug, cocky pirate that he showed to the rest of the world. With her he was just a guy, a good guy, who kept doing things for her without motives. He only wanted to help her, to see her happy, to walk beside her. It was a tantalizing prospect – someone who wanted her without strings or ulterior motives, but she needed to know more. Old habits died hard, and she didn't want surprises, she wanted proof.

"How did you do it? How did you get to me?" He looked away, and she knew whatever was coming was big. Her body buzzed with the anticipation of finding out why he'd hesitated to give the details to anyone before.

"Well the curse was coming. I ditched my crew and took the Jolly Roger as fast and as far as I possibly could to outrun it." He said it like it wasn't a huge deal, like manning a ship by himself, racing against a powerful dark magic, wasn't heroic and brave.

"You out ran a curse?"

"I'm a hell of a Captain." Yes, he was, and she had to chuckle lightly at that. "And once I was outside the curse's purview, I knew that the walls were down. Transport between the worlds was possible again. All I needed was a magic bean."

"Those are not easy to come by."

"They are if you have something of value to trade."

"And what was that?" She expected a harrowing tale about his bountiful treasure, secured from some duel, or crusade or pillaging. Instead he shocked her to her very core.

"Why the Jolly Roger of course."

Time stopped. In the span of a few moments, the world turned on its axis, changing everything she thought she knew. His home, his ship, the life he'd had for centuries. He'd given it up, for her. There were no words, there was no way to thank him, no way to tell him that what he'd done and what it meant. Yet, if she'd ever wanted a sign that he was serious and that he was worth the risk, this was it.

"You traded your ship for me?" How she even managed to get the words past her lips she would never know. They were seeped with emotion, charged with longing and heavy with wonder. He'd managed to through her completely off kilter.

"Aye." One word, one affirmation, was all it took, and then they were kissing. It was like finding home all over again – like a wave of light was crashing down around her and everything made sense. Where Neverland had been rushed and demanding, this was slower, but more intense. There was substance between them now, not just words and glances and maybes. He'd gone to the ends of the world and time to find her, and she, through some sort of miracle was ready to be found. The kiss went on for what felt like an eternity, but wasn't nearly enough. Emma craved so much more because it felt so damn good.

"Not that I'm complaining, love, but might I ask what's brought on this sudden change?" Killian's words were hesitant, as if he half expected her to run after the display of intimacy. Instead she entwined her fingers with his and smiled.

"Remember when I said that you didn't have a home until you just miss it? Well sitting in there, surrounded by my family, the people we've been trying to get back to, I felt it. I missed you. Even though we'd just been together, I felt it." His hand in hers tightened, and though he was smiling, a troublesome thought crossed her mind. She tried to hide the worry from him, but he caught it.

"What was that thought love?" She sighed, deciding to tell him rather than do what she usually did and hide.

"You gave up your home for me. I don't want you to regret it." Or resent her. She didn't think she'd ever survive it if he looked at her with hatred or bitterness. She'd gotten used to the way his eyes teased or flirted or showed her how much he wanted her. She'd even seen love there a few times, if she was honest. Like right now, it was there again and it had her practically swimming in her own feeling of desire.

"Every day during the cursed year I missed you, Emma. Nothing eased the loss, or filled the place where you'd been, not rum, not the sea, not the pirate's life I'd always known. You'd given me a taste of something I'd thought I would never have again – a life with purpose that stayed in the light. You made me more than a man of vengeance, and you gave me hope. Then you were gone, but I could never forget you. You sparked something in me, and when the time came to choose between the Jolly and you, there was no choice. I had to get to you, to see you again."

She felt the weight of his words gripping at her heart, and spreading through her being was this incredible warmth. He wasn't lying. All of this was true, her superpower was sure of it. It was still terrifying though. She wasn't magically some new person, she was Emma Swan, scared little lost girl on so many levels, even if she was trying to embrace the idea of home and family.

"I want this," Emma said quickly, "but I need to warn you that I don't know how to have it. I'm going to need you to be patient, and I'll probably drive you crazy in the mean time, but if you stay, if you wait, if you don't give up… I know it can be good." She cringed internally at her lack of command with words. He was so good at saying the right thing, and she couldn't stop blabbering.

"I will wait forever if that's what it takes Emma. I'm in this for the long haul."

"Good," she whispered, before pulling him back in for another kiss.

…

 _You've been searching, your whole life_ _  
_ _For what's been right in, front of your eyes_ __

 _You've been rolling, turning_ _  
_ _Like the sea_ _  
_ _Oh restless heart, when will you be…_ __

 _But…_ _  
_ _If you're tired, of fighting on your own_ _  
_ _If you're tired, of feeling all alone_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ __

 _I wish you could see, you through my eyes_ _  
_ _You'd feel yellow, orange, open skies_ __

 _You've been rolling, turning_ _  
_ _Like a stone_ _  
_ _Oh restless heart, just let go..._ __

 _So…_ _  
_ _If you're tired, of fighting on your own_ _  
_ _If you're tired, of feeling all alone_ __

 _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_ _  
_ _I'll be your home_

 _ **Post-Note: Easily one of the best CS scenes ever, but I'm greedy, and I still wanted more when it aired. So I hope you guys liked my take on what could have happened between Emma and Killian's on screen kiss and the scene back in the diner (where things got unnecessarily crazy). I hope this season's finale gives us another of these amazing moments but bigger. Here's hoping!**_


	42. Addicted to a Memory

**A/N: Rewriting the end of 3x11 because I hated Emma not remembering. So guess what, she's gonna remember… or kind of. Emma keeps having dreams about Killian during the year in New York, and on the day he comes back he kisses her and it works like it did with Graham where she gets some flashbacks but not all of them. There is at least enough though for her to trust him and not call the cops. Expect fluff, far more than the cannon of the show ever would have allowed, and expect an Emma who isn't so burdened with fear, and who is willing to speak her truth even if it's terrifying for her. Inspired by Bahari's singing parts in 'Addicted to a Memory' by Zedd.**

"Everything okay, Mom?" Henry's voice broke through the strange fog still clinging to Emma's being after last night's dream. Trying to will away the remnants that still lingered in her mind, she attempted a smile and moved to the kitchen to get Henry ready for school. They had the routine down, she would make breakfast, while he did some morning chores and music played. Still, Emma was struggling more and more as the weeks went on to fully immerse herself in these morning moments. She just had the strangest feeling that something was missing, and that the dreams were the key.

Though her head was telling her that these dreams were just your run of the mill REM cycle visions, Emma's heart was thinking there might be more. Yet the life she had in the dreams was so vastly different from the one she woke up to each day, and it lacked in basic logic most of the time. People spoke of slaying dragons and using magic and climbing beanstalks, and Emma was right there with them, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Henry was there too, but there were others, a woman and a man who were her age who treated her almost like parents would, and another woman who seemed to care for Henry as much as Emma did.

But of everyone, one man stood out. He was always dressed in some sort of costume, that was black with leather and should never have been attractive to her, but it was. Hell most of her dreams had a tipping point where everything else sort of faded, and all that was left was the mystery man, Emma, and the surging attraction between them. Though she never heard his name, he certainly knew hers, and the way he said it, brimming with tension and flirtation always had her aching for more.

"Walsh called when you were in the shower Mom, I forgot to tell you." Overwhelming guilt splashed ice cold over Emma's mind and she grimaced. Not only was she reliving these inappropriate dreams when her son was in the room, but she was seeing someone, a man who by all accounts was kind and patient. He was a good guy, many would say the right guy, and yet here she was, having these stolen moments in dreamland with a guy who neither existed nor felt as safe a bet. As a mother and as someone who had been burned many times before, Emma knew that safe was better, but she also knew that there was something missing with Walsh, and that was… well honestly something she couldn't explain. All she knew was that when she woke up from the dreams, Emma felt the most unsettling feeling everyday – she missed the life she had there, and she missed the man who so often stood beside her.

Neal had once told her that you didn't have a home until you just missed it, and though she rarely thought of Henry's father anymore, Emma could still hear his voice imparting that wisdom to her nearly every day. Something just felt off, and Emma was worrying that perhaps the problem lay with her. Things were going really well, but here she was, doubting and worried and, if she was honest, a little heart broken over a life that had never been. Maybe it was a type of self-sabotage, but Emma still felt in her gut that there was more happening here.

How she'd been able to make scrambled eggs, pancakes and cocoa through the thick of all this thinking, Emma would never know, still she had and she placed the food in front of her son, glad she was still functioning on some level.

"Mom, you forgot something," Of course she had. What was it?

"Right, cinnamon." She moved over to the counter and grabbed the essential ingredient. "There you go." Now she sat at her chair, adding her own cinnamon before clinking her glass with Henry's, a little thing they'd done for years and years each morning. Yet just as they were about to dig in a knock sounded at the door.

"Someone coming over?" Henry asked, not really interested in the unexpected interruption to their routine.

"No." She said, as the knock sounded again only louder. Whoever or whatever this was had Emma starting to put up her guard. She was wary enough of this city to know that it could be anything on the other side of that door, and so she steeled herself for a threat, even if she hoped that it wasn't. "Henry wait here."

Emma moved through the hallway, completely forgetting that she was still in PJs as she opened the door. When she did, it was like the world stopped spinning. There, standing in front of her was the man from her dreams. Emma was shocked, how could he… who was he… what was happening?

"Swan," he said, looking relieved that she'd answered and the sound of her name passing his lips had her whole body humming with some foreign energy. She couldn't explain it, but her mind was still stuck on the blatant problem standing before her - _he could not be real!_ He was a man from her dreams, some sort of Captain Hook fantasy thing she'd concocted and yet he was here.

"At last," he said, moving to come into the apartment and she hastily put a hand up.

"Whoa, do I know you?" Emma needed answers. Maybe she did know him somehow, maybe their paths had crossed before, but for right now, she just knew him as a guy who traipsed across jungles with her in dreams, and who kept starring in some ridiculously hot fantasies as a nameless face. A blush came to her cheeks from thinking about it, but she remained firm.

"Look I need your help, something's happened, something terrible and your family is in trouble." Her heart clutched, for she did see the truth in his eyes, even if it made absolutely no sense. Henry was her family, and Henry was here, safe and sound.

"My family's right here. Who are you?" She asked, trying to sound brave, but hearing herself fail miserably.

"An old friend. I know you can't remember me, but… I can make you." Then he was moving so quickly she could barely react, his mouth on hers, firm and demanding and it was like something in her sparked. Every dream she had flashed through her mind, of her and him and the others who kept starring in the make believe world of her life. Only they weren't so make believe because she was getting particulars - names, the way they'd met, and who they were to her. Things were still murky, but as she pushed him back to put some distance between them, she knew that there was something real happening here.

"Killian," she whispered and the light in his eyes was so strong, the happiness residing there so resolute that Emma struggled to catch her breath. He was looking at her like she was the sun or a miracle in the flesh, and she just felt so… exposed.

"You remember, Emma." She shook her head.

"I don't know what's happening, but I need – I need you to go. I need to get my son to school, and then we can…" He moved closer once more, his hand coming to reach for hers and softly squeezing.

"See Henry off on his day, love, and I will meet you anywhere you like. You can ask me anything, and we can piece this thing together you and I." God how she liked that idea, of being with him and figuring out whatever the hell was happening right now. It felt right, and she felt alive in a way she hadn't in, well ever as far as she could tell. Though a warning bell went off that he knew Henry's name, Emma chose to trust her instincts that still believed Killian could be trusted.

"Mom?" Henry called from the kitchen, and a wave of fresh panic washed over Emma but Killian seemed to understand and he stepped back into the hallway.

"Come back in an hour." She whispered as she shut the door, and leaned against it, needing to get a hold of herself in the next thirty seconds before seeing her kid. She didn't want Henry to notice something was off, and when she finally pushed away from the door and walked back to the kitchen, she was thankful that he remained delightfully oblivious. She couldn't even think about finishing her breakfast right now, but she made sure that Henry did and they both got changed quickly to get him to school.

Thank god Henry was a verbose kid, having no problem filling the space between them on the short walk over. Emma did her best to follow along with what he said, about his friends and the game that they were all excited to get in the coming weeks, but her head was still spinning, and the memories that had popped up were still simmering just beneath the surface. She pushed them down as she saw Henry walking through the gates of the inner-city campus, and then she stood there, in the middle of Manhattan trying to decide what was next. At that moment her phone rang, and she pulled it from her pocket. It was Walsh.

"Hello?"

" _Emma, I'm glad I caught you. I wanted to see if we were still on for dinner tonight."_ Emma's stomach churned, and in this moment she realized she was going to have a very difficult conversation today with a man who she only wished the best for. And this wasn't a conversation that would be conducive to dinner. She had to see him in some other setting.

"Actually, Walsh. Something's come up. Could we maybe grab some coffee this afternoon. I have something I wanted to talk to you about." She knew he could probably hear the difference in her voice. Gone was any easygoing lightness that she might have developed over the past few months, and in its place was a discomfort that couldn't be ignored.

"Um, sure. Where and when?" Emma filled him in on the best place, purposely choosing a cafe she'd never been to and would never return to again, then she hung up the phone heading back to her place. Once there, she began pacing, waiting for Killian to return, and he did at exactly the hour mark. Pulling open the door, Emma felt relief wash over her, dismantling the dread she'd been carrying all morning.

"Hi," she said, somewhat awkwardly but he only smiled.

"Care to let me in this time, love?" She made way for him to enter, and watched as he strutted through the apartment, taking stock of their surroundings as if very interested to see what it could tell him about her.

"You said my family is in trouble." Her voice was low but thick with emotion. Though there was still confusion, and she was still trying to work things out, she also knew that these were people she cared for, and if they needed her, she wanted to help. "You meant Mary Margaret, David, and Regina."

"Aye, love. How much do you remember?" Emma shook her head.

"I don't really. I have flashes, feelings that I should know, but it's cloudy. Everything's cloudy, except for…" She trailed off, not wanting to give too much away, but the damage was done.

"Except for what?"

"You. I remember more about you."

"What do you remember?"

"Arguing on a beanstalk, kissing you in the jungle, saying good bye before getting in the bug and driving off. God it sounds so crazy." He reached for her, steadying her rapidly increasing heartbeat with just the lightest pressure of his fingers curling around hers.

"I know it must, Emma, but it's your life. This world around you now is one that was given to you when all hope was lost. But whether it was luck or fate, the tides have turned, and they need you know. I need you now." She looked up to meet his gaze and wondered if maybe, even though she couldn't truly remember her old life, she needed him too.

"You need me?" He smiled.

"Yes, love. I need you to trust me and drink the potion I've procured to restore your memories in full." The words sparked another small tidbit in her mind.

"You always want me to trust you," she replied thoughtfully and he nodded.

"This time, though, I hope you finally will." Hope, that was another thing she remembered. She remembered that hope was one of the most important things in whatever life she'd left behind. That and love, and both were swimming in Killian's eyes right now. She felt them too, and she wanted to try and embrace it, even if it was strange and wrong and didn't make any rational sense.

"You've only told me one lie since coming back." Killian looked concerned.

"Emma, I haven't lied." She moved an inch closer, and her eyes dropped to his mouth.

"You said we were friends, but I remember it being more." Her eyes glanced up again and the look he gave her was a mix of shock and wonder. She pulled him closer, down by the collar of his jacket and kissed him just as she had so many times in her dreams, until they were both tangled up in each other and she heard a low growl pull from his chest.

"Gods, Emma, I missed you."

"I missed you too, even if I didn't really know it. So about that potion." He took out the small blue vile and handed it to her. With one final look in his eyes, she downed the contents and in seconds she had it all back, the entire truth. For better or worse, she knew it all, like how she'd given up Henry and how he'd found her, bringing her home. She knew the full extent of how closed off she'd stayed with Killian, learning that her dreams had elaborated quite a bit, and that she hadn't really been as honest with her feelings in real life as she was in the safety of her own mind. And she remembered her parents, the people who had fought tooth and nail to help her save her son, and who really did love her, even if she'd been alone all those years.

"We have to go back. We have to save them." Emma said as she looked back at Killian.

"Aye, love, we do."

"But I have a few things I need to do here first. I have to tell Henry, and I have to break up with…" Emma realized too late that she'd given away the Walsh element and she looked for any pain in Killian's features. Instead she saw only understanding.

"I always knew there may be a man in this life who you came to love. I just want you to be happy Emma." Emma shook her head.

"I don't love him. See there's another guy, from this other life..." Killian's eyes grew wide and Emma moved closer, running a hand over his chest. "He's kind of cocky, a charmer by trade, and though he's got a reputation, he's a good man, an honorable man." Killian gulped at that.

"Is he also devilishly handsome?"

"Some say, but only if the roughish look works for you. Which it does for me." Killian looked as if he was about to kiss her again, and God did she ever wish he would, but he pulled back, taking her hand in his and kissing it.

"Well I think the man in question is willing to wait as long as it takes love. He'll be here when you're ready." With that, they set about a plan to get them to Storybrooke as soon as possible, for she was the Savior once more, and with Killian by her side, she knew she could face any foe that lay ahead.

…

 _We are, we are revolving chemistry  
Love has taken us as far as we can reach  
But I can't leave  
We are, we are, imagine ecstasy  
Holding on to what we used to be  
Addicted to a memory  
Holding on to what we used to be  
Addicted to a memory  
Oh, memory_

 _We are, we are in-love enemies  
We are sentimental slaves on broken knees  
We're on empty  
We were, we were one identity  
Now the trouble is remembering  
Addicted to a memory_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it, more of my new favorite pastime – rewriting the past of a make believe show so that there is more fluff and less angst. That's definitely been one of the better parts of these later seasons. Even though there is still too much angst, we at least FINALLY got the 'I love yous' and are inching towards a moment when CS might finally get a HEA. I hope you guys enjoyed, and thank you as always for reading. Don't forget, I am always accepting prompts for songs for this series. Truly the one's that are prompted tend to be the best in the end. So hopefully I get some more from you guys, until then, hope you all have a lovely weekend!**_


	43. Love Song

_**A/N: Emma has been off since coming back from the Underworld, despite things going so well. She and Killian are engaged, but there's this swirling ball of energy inside of her that's affecting her moods and her peace of mind. When Emma finally realizes the culprit – a pregnancy wherein the child is a product of true love, she and Killian are both excited if a little worried. One thing that helps keep Emma's emotions in check, strangely enough, is dancing with her soon to be husband as Adele croons in the background. Inspired by the 'Love song' cover Adele put out a few years back.**_

The rush of happiness that came after escaping the Underworld should have lasted longer than it did, yet here they were, less than six weeks later and Emma was… well she was a mess if she was being honest with herself. All day long, on an endless loop, she had Adele songs singing through her mind. The sorrow and the longing in the words and her tone were pulling at Emma, who felt restless and unsettled even through the happiness.

They'd all made it out alive, made it back from death itself and the relationships she had with her parents, with her son and with Killian were stronger. The latter especially was going remarkably well. There was no more doubt, no more wondering what the other wouldn't give to see them safe and together. They also had the proof of what Emma had long known in her heart – that she and Killian were true love. When they'd made it back to Storybrooke, it had taken less than a day for them to come to an understanding that they wanted forever, and they wanted it together. Killian had proposed, Emma had a ring, and life was pretty damn near perfect.

Still this strange swirling of emotions resided deep within and she couldn't understand it. One second she was so happy, the next she was fighting back tears. As someone who had never been particularly open with emotions, it was a nightmare; still try as she might, there were moments when she couldn't quash down the urges to cave to the madness.

Take right now for instance. She was sitting at the station, just going over some normal backlog paper work when all of a sudden she'd had this insatiable need for chocolate. With her magic, she'd summoned some to her and she was sitting here, consuming a crazy amount given that it wasn't even ten in the morning. Something was happening, something she couldn't understand.

Perhaps it was a symptom of coming back to life, yet everyone else seemed to be adjusting with no problems. It was that fact, and that alone that kept Emma hiding this part of herself as best she could, though Killian especially could see right through her.

" _Emma, love, what can I do?"_ He'd asked her just last night as they'd lain together in bed. She was wrapped up in his arms, feeling all the love and light that resided between them and suddenly a wave of anxiety had hit her. She'd tensed only slightly, and that was all the tell he'd needed.

" _I don't know. All I know is I need you with me."_ Her words still rang true, and Emma knew that they always would. Still, right now, she also needed chocolate, more chocolate than any one person should consume.

"Emma?!" Her mother's voice pulled her from her reverie and she looked up to see both of her parents with worried looks and curious glances.

"I don't know what's happening." Her voice cracked as she said the words, but in her mind she heard her own voice chastising her.

 _Yes you do, Emma. Think._ So she did, and finally it dawned on her. She was alive again, yet not all of her living… _conditions_ had returned. She was beyond late, and that had to mean one thing.

"I have to go. I'm fine. Actually, I'm better than fine." She left then, not waiting for her parent's responses, having only one thing on her mind – she needed to find Killian. In the end, she didn't need to go far, for her was walking towards the station, clearly on his way to see her.

"Emma, love, what's happened?" She looked at him, wanting to gauge every last reaction that would cross his mind when she told him.

"I'm pregnant." Whatever she'd expected, this was better, for in his eyes there was nothing but wonder and joy and hope. Before he could speak, she smiled at him and then kissed him fiercely, pouring all her own emotions about the new development into the exchange. She needed him to understand that even though it was sudden, and perhaps a little too soon, she was happy even if she was afraid. This was a good thing, and no matter what came next, she would always see a child with Killian that way.

"You're sure?" Emma nodded, running her hands across the lapels of his jacket.

"I haven't taken a test or anything, but I know. I'm certain." His smile was infectious, his hold around her waist tightening and he was practically radiating elation. Another wave of something crashed over Emma, though this time it was lust. She wanted privacy and she wanted it now. With a poof of magic, she had them back in the house and Emma was certain they were alone.

"I think this calls for celebration." She said as she ran her fingers across his jaw. His eyes filled with their own heat and yearning instantly, but as he was about to pull her to him she flicked her wrist and music sounded through the house.

"I know it's weird, but I've had the urge to do this for weeks, and I need you to just go with it." When Killian understood that she meant to dance with him, here in the living room of their home, he smiled once more and extended his hand to her.

"Anything you want I will give you, Emma. All you have to do is ask."

"Alright. Care to dance, Captain?" He growled and pulled to him and Emma laughed as one of Adele's happier songs swam through the speakers, lulling any lingering unrest in her back to whence it came.

 _Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am home again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am whole again_

 _Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am young again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am fun again_

 _However far away, I will always love you  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
I will always love you_

 _Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am free again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am clean again_

 _However far away, I will always love you  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
I will always love you  
However far away, I will always love you  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
I will always love you_

 _I'll always love you  
Cause I love you_

"Another, my dearest?" Emma smiled at the endearment that had cropped up since she'd said yes to his proposal, but she shook her head.

"No, now we get to the actual celebration." She pulled him with her, up the stairs to the bedroom where they made a little more magic.

…..

A few months later, things were still chugging along in pregnancy land, often in ways Emma didn't anticipate. See, unlike her mother, who seemed more than capable of carrying babies to term without strange occurrences, Emma's own magic was being effected by the currents of the child growing inside her. Regina and Emma had figured out some necessary safe guard spells to control most of the outbursts, but sometimes the manifestations of Emma's current state weren't spell-based.

"Killian, I'm not kidding. Lose the clothes or I won't be held responsible for my actions." Killian's low rumble of a laugh hit her ears and only riled the lust coursing through her more. He was being so great, really, considering that not a day would pass without Emma morphing into this wanton creature fixated on sex at inopportune times. Still, despite the fact that they were currently in the back storage room of the station, Killian heeded her request.

"As you wish, love." She groaned at the words before pulling her closer to him, insisting that they be as close together as possible. She needed the feel of him, hard and strong against her, and though she knew Killian would never give her the same level of raw, unchecked passion as he had before finding she was pregnant, she knew his more aware, reigned in ministrations would still set her on fire.

"Okay, your turn."

"My turn?" He asked with an arch brow and some humor in his tone.

"To take the lead." He laughed as he spun her around in his arms, and pulled her back against him, keeping her legs wide. His hook held her hip in place while his hand moved around her front, now only having her panties to contend with on the road to pleasing her. His fingers deftly moved past them, and honed in on her waiting clit.

"I think we both know by now, that you never let me take charge too long, Swan. For soon the begging will start, as will those high-pitched pleas for more and though you might think it's I who has the power, I am entirely at your mercy." Emma was panting, feeling the dual turn on of his masterful hands and his words. They held the promise of incredible release, while still reassuring her that by letting go she wasn't losing all control, only lending it temporarily.

When he sensed that she was just about to come, Killian pulled back, relocating them to the old wooden deck at the side of the room, keeping her on the edge, and spreading her legs wider, he looked at her and grinned before kissing her, slow and languid. It was a kiss built for teasing and it had Emma clawing at him for more.

"Killian," Emma's voice was too charged, too convoluted with emotion to sound truly like her own, but Killian broke away, knowing what she needed. He knelt between her legs and with his mouth, finished what his fingers had started. Emma tried to muffle the sound with her hand, but finally realized there was no shot in hell, instead opting for a last minute spell to keep anyone outside of this room from hearing. With it in place, she gave over to the sensations, pulling at his hair as she begged until he'd given her that oh so brilliant release. As she huffed out her breath, trying to regain her balance, Killian took his time returning to her, and ran his hand across her abdomen that was now certainly beginning to show.

"I will never be able to thank you for the gift you're bringing us Emma. I will love this child with everything that I am, for they are a part of you." His whispered confession should have pulled Emma out of her intense longing, but it only kicked it up further. Still, she ran her fingers across his jaw, pulling his eyes to hers before responding.

"We're going to have a bunch of pirate princes and princesses to raise, and they are all going to know what it's like to have an amazing Dad, thanks to you." His smile was genuine, if a little shy, like he couldn't fully gather how serious she was, so she intended to show him that she never would have loved him this fiercely if he weren't good and worthy. Emma had never dreamed of a future like this, and Killian was the only man in any realm and from any time who was right for her to do so with.

This kiss started light and easy but evolved once Emma took Killian's cock in hand, pumping it hard. His responding moan devolved their loving moment into some good, honest, hot as sin sex that had Emma's blood humming with pleasure and her eyes closing as she let out each airy sigh for more.

"Emma come with me, love." Powerless to do anything else, she followed his request and in the aftermath, finally felt like she could proceed with her normal activities. She'd still insist that Killian be right by her side, but at least she could think of things that weren't just finding a quiet place for him to take her. Yet, as they put their clothes back on and prepared to go back outside, Emma felt like she still needed something, but couldn't think what it could be. Maybe it was more chocolate? A burger?

"Oh no you don't, Swan." Killian grabbed her hand before she opened the door and she stared back at him confused as he pulled out his iPod and then she realized what he was about to do. "If I can just see about this blasted music box, then we can get the rest of that longing out of your eyes for the rest of the day." With a few clicks he'd pulled up Adele, who by this point, Emma was exclusively listening to her entire pregnancy.

"Were we just going to listen to it or-" Killian kissed Emma before she could finish her statement.

"My _wife_ is very demanding, but let me assure you that if it's a dance you want Emma Jones, it's a dance you shall have." Sliding into his embrace once more, Emma felt the warmth of being there so acutely until something pushed inside of her. As her stomach was touching Killian he felt it to.

"Emma?" The feeling came again and Emma took his hand moving it down to feel with her where their son or daughter was moving about.

"Seems someone else wanted to dance this time too." Emma couldn't keep the tears at bay, because the moment had a dozen images flashing before her eyes. A little girl with dark hair like Killian's and eyes like Emma dancing around their living room while a brother with lighter hair trailed close behind as music played. She saw Henry with the baby, and late nights spent prepping school lunches and signing permission slips. There were holidays, and school plays and dance recitals, and through everything, Killian would be beside her, cherishing every moment as much as she did.

"If they have half the natural talent of their parents, they'll be in good shape." Emma laughed at that shoving him a little before returning to his arms to continue their dance.

…..

She hadn't expected to fall asleep, but when the sound of Hope's crying startled her awake, Emma realized that she must have done just that. Judging by Killian's unruly hair and somewhat dazed look as he jumped out of the bed, he too had given over to fatigue for a few hours.

"I can see to her, Swan." Emma shook her head as she got out of bed and grabbed his hand, before smiling up at him.

"We can go see her together." The nursery was just beside them, with only an arched doorway separating them, and as Emma came to pick up her daughter, the little girl continued to cry. Emma tried to feed her, but nothing, to soothe her, but still she cried. Wracking her brain for some sort of tip from the countless parenting books Killian had brought into the house over the past few months, Emma was coming up empty, until she heard Killian chuckle.

"I think she's needing her daily fix, Emma." Emma looked at him like she was crazy as he slipped into their bedroom before returning with his iPod.

"I hardly think she's-" but Emma couldn't even finish the thought, for as soon as Adele came through the speakers, Hope started to settle. Killian offered to take her and Emma gave her to him, if partly for selfish reasons. Seeing him with their newborn daughter was the strangest sort of rush for her. It made her happy in ways she'd never known she could be, and it calmed her, steadied her in the moments where she was doubtful of her own ability to do this. Killian surprised her though, and sang along with the words this time. Emma knew he had a nice voice, but that he was sharing it with their daughter, well that brought happy tears to her eyes. She'd always dreamed of parents who would sing her a lullaby when she was small, and now her daughter had that.

 _Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am home again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am whole again_

 _Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am young again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am fun again_

 _However far away, I will always love you  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
I will always love you_

 _Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am free again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am clean again_

 _However far away, I will always love you  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
I will always love you  
However far away, I will always love you  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
I will always love you_

 _I'll always love you  
Cause I love you_

While Emma had known her own voice couldn't sing quite as sweetly as Killian's she hummed along with the music and ran her hand across her daughter's brow as the infant fell asleep. Emma took her back from Killian before placing her in her crib, only for Hope to stir once more. In response, Killian set the song to start again, and only then did the tension fade from Hope's being as the baby finally gave way to sleep.

"Just to be safe, I think we ought to give her the full rendition, love." With an outstretched hand he silently asked her for another dance and she accepted, moving around with him as this time his nearly whispered singing was directed to her. She melted into his embrace, feeling like everything in the world was incredibly right and that her life had really moved into it's happily ever after.

 _ **Post-Note: So I just terribly needed a pregnant Emma fic again and more shameless dancing to Adele because I love it. I hope that you guys enjoyed, and that the episode tonight brings us more Captain Swan! As always, thanks for reading and if you guys have any requests I am all ears!**_


	44. Dangerous

_**A/N: Hey all! For this chapter I have rewritten the conversation in 3x20 about Emma being able to see a future in Storybrooke with Killian. After being defensive and denying everything, Emma is finally honest. No Zelena ruining things, and the TLK I so desperately wanted happens. Easily one of the most disappointing scenes for me the show because things were moving too slowly for my liking, but I will admit all the waiting and angst has brought out some great CS moments. I just always prefer fluff. Inspired by an acoustic version of 'Dangerous' by Rumer.**_

They moved from the woods into the field before them as the wind whipped about lightly, and Emma was brimming with anxiety. The magic she'd used just moments ago in the hospital was still tingling just beneath the surface, and she clutched her hands tightly together trying to contain it. Everything was chaos, there was a threat against her family, and all Emma could think was that she needed to run and she needed to protect her son, even if there were people here who she didn't want to leave. One such person was walking beside her has they headed to Zelena's house, but she was keeping him at a distance, needing to prevent getting closer to him and allowing him to cloud her judgment.

She'd been angry with him at the hospital, claiming she didn't understand his reasons for keeping Zelena's curse from her, though she did. He was trying to help, and he was trying to protect her and her son. Knowing that he cared simultaneously lit her up inside as it also increased her terror. He was seeing through her walls, he was slowly tearing them down and she couldn't let him, even if it meant hurting him. Though it cut her to the core to see the sadness in his eyes every time she coldly shot him and his reasons down, she couldn't stop. There was a crazy woman out there hell bent on destroying her family, and Killian was causing her to feel. She couldn't do that right now, and she wouldn't let her own inclinations harm her family. She was the savior, and she needed to go it alone because of it. Even if she'd humored her father by bringing Killian here, she knew the truth - this was her journey and her battle.

"I never should have brought Henry back to Storybrooke."

"You did what you thought was right." His words were honest, but she had no interest in hearing them, so she fired back with hateful words she didn't mean.

"I did what you manipulated me into." God she hated herself for saying it, but she looked to his face to watch that he wasn't backing down, he was in this, fighting with her to see the truth as he so often did.

"Your parents needed you, Swan. The town needed you."

"Henry also needed me. We were happy in New York. Once I'm done melting this witch, I'd like us to be happy again." But had she really been happy? Were these words even true? It had all been a lie, after all, and now she knew the truth, could there ever be a turning back?

"You know, as content as you were in that city, it wasn't real." Of course he would say that, he was confronting her with a reality she wasn't ready to accept because running away to New York was something she understood. Maybe she would always wonder what it would have been like if she'd stayed with her family and with Killian here, but she knew that at least there, Henry would be safe from the madness of this fairytale world, so she stayed firm, even if it was clear she was in denial.

"It was real for me, for him. Everything that happened, happened." She thought back to the life in question and knew that it was a half life, it wasn't everything she'd dreamed because she hadn't remembered what was starting to manifest just as they'd stopped Pan. She had her parents, she had a home, and she had Killian. When he'd found her in New York he'd said perhaps there was a man in her life before who she loved, and maybe he was right.

 _Stop thinking like that, Emma. You can't love him, you're not cut out for it._ The voice in her mind kept her strong, and kept her moving towards the Wicked Witch's house with hostility and rudeness in her manner. She was clinging to it for dear life so as not to succumb to the allure of the man beside her. He was calm, even in the face of her denial, but he held back a force of passion that intimidated her. As resolute as she was to stay away, he was perhaps more determined to help her and to show her that if she just let go, if she just tried to be happy here, she could have all the things she wanted.

"Minus all the things you'd forgotten. Part of you is not the real you, and, like it or not, a big part of you and Henry belongs in this town." He never seemed to forget Henry in all of this, and she thought back to how in the beginning, Walsh always had, and how even Neal often did. Killian understood that for Emma there was no life in which her son wasn't her priority, but he also knew that Henry had family here, a life here, and a right to this town.

"It's the part of us that's always in danger. We're leaving." Her voice waivered, not nearly as strong as it just had been.

"What does the boy think?"

"He's a kid. He wants chocolate milk in his cereal. I'm his mother. I know what's best for him."

"What's best for him… or for you?" Killian stopped, trying look into her eyes, but Emma couldn't risk it, for she knew under the intensity of those deep blue irises she'd crack. She looked away, kept moving, kept running.

"Excuse me?" she said as if affronted.

"You've taken care of your boy quite well here. You can talk about danger all you like, but it isn't that. So tell me, what is it? Why are you so scared of staying?"

 _Because I'm in love with you._ It was at the tip of her tongue, but she wouldn't say it. She was too broken for this. Her life was too messy for this kind of complication. She was better alone, just her and Henry.

"I think it's because you can see a future here, a happy one," he continued.

"Let me guess, with you."

"That would be the hope. Come Emma, certainly you must know by now-" She lifted her hand and shook her head.

"Killian, we are steps away from Zelena's house, this is not the time for –"

"Emma, it's never going to be the right time!" This was the first time she could really remember him raising her voice at her. "I'm sorry love but it's the truth. You are afraid of this, but you are also an open book. You care for me; I see it in your eyes, even though you've barely looked at me for days. Well you're not the only one who's afraid. This was never supposed to happen. I was never supposed to find someone who made me believe in something more. I was never supposed to love again, but here we are."

Emma stared back at Killian, shocked that he had confessed this here and now. Part of her wanted to run, but part of her was screaming not too. She could trust him, she knew that, but God if it wasn't the most terrifying thing she'd ever faced.

"You love me?" He moved forward, his hand reaching for hers, but he held back, not wanting to push her.

"I love you, Emma, and I don't expect you to love me back, but I love you enough to tell you that you're wrong. You need your family, you need this town, and you need…"

"I need you," she whispered. His eyes flashed back up to hers and she moved forward, suddenly gripped with an idea. She couldn't explain it, but something in her clicked and suddenly she just knew what they had to do. Her hand came to cup his cheek and Killian backed up slightly.

"Emma we can't." He looked truly distraught but Emma smiled, and she watched the confusion that covered his features.

"Do you trust me?" He nodded immediately and she closed the space between their lips kissing him and feeling a whoosh of magic leave her just to come back in a stronger, more powerful way. As she pulled back, the light around them was tinted with each color of the rainbow.

"Your magic?" Killian asked and Emma flicked her wrist, causing the tree beside the, to fill with flower blossoms.

"Still here."

"But how?" Emma inhaled, steadied her resolve and told him the truth.

"Because I love you too, and sometimes in fairytales when you kiss your true love, cool things happen." The joy on Killian's face was interrupted then by a screech from Zelena. Emma turned immediately to protect Killian from the witch and her Dark One puppet, but Zelena disappeared in a puff of green smoke, before any fighting was needed.

"I think we might have foiled her plan just slightly." Killian said, and the happiness in his tone was infectious.

"Maybe just a little."

"We foiled my plan a little bit as well." Emma looked at him curiously as she took his hand in hers to walk back to the woods. "I had rather thought to court you, Emma." She laughed at that.

"You still could. I promise I'm going to be horrible at this true love thing. We should go slow." Killian tightened his hold on her hand and they stopped.

"You will be better than every dream I've ever had for my future, love. And I will wait as long as it takes for you to be ready."

"I'll remind you of that when we have to tell my Dad about us." Killian's face was awash with a little bit of fear once more and Emma smiled, wanting to see that exchange pretty badly.

"Whatever it takes, love." And even though the challenges ahead seemed daunting, Emma knew he would keep his word.

….

 _Stop hanging around my window,  
Stop hanging around my door,  
Hey, don't you know that my heart has grown cold,  
And I could never be, what you want me to be,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
I don't wanna broken heart again_

 _It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
I don't wanna broken heart again_

 _Love did me wrong,  
Now you want me to believe,  
You won't hurt me,  
Though you've let me down,  
Now you want me to believe,  
Your crib,  
You want me to let go,  
You want me to lose control,  
You want me to let go,  
I don't wanna lose control_

 _It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
I don't wanna broken heart again_

 _Too scared to trust,  
But it's not because of you,  
It's just what I've been through,  
Love hurt me bad,  
And I don't wanna be a fool for you,  
You want me to let go,  
You want me to lose control,  
You want me to let go,  
Oh I don't wanna lose control_

 _It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
It's taking me a long time to feel better,  
I've only just began to feel my heart again,  
And all the while I know,  
I don't want you to go away_

 _I'm not afraid of you,  
I'm just fighting my time,  
I'm not afraid of you,_

 _It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
I don't wanna broken heart again,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
It's your love too dangerous,  
I don't wanna broken heart again._

 _ **Post-Note: Alright, there is my cannon divergence fix for the week I think. I always hated that we didn't get a TLK when Killian was drowning, so I have rewritten this fictional history once more. No regrets. I hope you guys liked it though, and I thank you for reading! If you guys have other songs for the playlist, or maybe other scenes you want to see rewritten, let me know! I am always open to suggestions!**_


	45. Naked

_**A/N: Emma and Killian talk on the return trip to Storybrooke (3x09). Emma tries to make it light, but Killian notes her worry. Cute moment where they talk about what happens when they go back. Emma wants to know if he'll stay. Expect some much needed honesty between the two, lots of feelings and some protective Daddy Charming. Despite the title inference, this is NOT a rated M fic. I know, some of you are sorely disappointed, but it's cute, and you'll get some smut tomorrow. Inspired by a follower prompt for 'Naked' by Avril Levine to be added to the mixtape.**_

As she stood on the upper decks of the Jolly Roger (something that was still incredibly bizarre to consider if she thought about it too much), Emma looked out into the dark night on a calm sea and finally allowed herself to take a breath. Henry was safe, they were heading home, and in the end, they'd stopped Pan. This was all she had been working towards for days. So why did something feel like it was missing?

"I can't remember the last time the Jolly had this many people onboard." Emma turned from where she'd been standing at the railing to see Killian. He was manning the wheel and something inside her fluttered. It was the same sort of unnerving but desirable energy that came most anytime he was around. Still, foolish as it was, she wanted more. She moved towards him, closer to where he stood at his post.

"In case I haven't said it yet, thank you. You didn't have to do all of this. You didn't owe us anything." What she meant was that he didn't owe _her_ anything. Emma wasn't stupid. She knew his motivations resided with her. Still, Killian shook his head.

"It's not about owing you, love." She quirked an eyebrow up at him.

"Then what is it about?"

"I've told you. I'm actually rather fond of you when you're not yelling at me." She knew he wanted to say more but was holding back, covering with humor, and she couldn't help the smile that played at her lips. She was self-aware enough to know her skittishness was a defining feature. It eased her mind to know that he didn't have to make things heavy if she just wanted to thank him.

"My Dad said I'm a leader. He was skeptical that heroes and villains and pirates could mix, but we did." Killian chuckled at that, and Emma looked into his blue eyes that were filled with the same easygoingness that his expression was.

"I knew not five minutes after meeting you that you are exactly the kind of woman who could bring anyone together. It's the fire in your eyes when you let yourself feel something. There's no arguing with it, Swan." Emma looked away, feeling over exposed as he watched her and she cast her eyes back to the sea. This was typically the time she would walk away and push down the feelings that were swirling around inside her chest, but that feeling that she'd had before, that something was missing, it was never around when she was near Killian.

"You've got a pretty nice view here. I can see not wanting to let it go for a couple of centuries." Killian's jaw ticked, and Emma smiled a bit, certain he was going to roll his eyes at her for her dig on his age, but he didn't.

"You and I both know that's hardly why I've been seeing it so long." Yeah Emma was aware. Yet even though he'd given up his life for revenge, he'd put it aside to help her. That was… well it was kind of crazy.

"Which begs the question. Why forsake your mission to help us?" Killian was staring out into the sea, but his voice sounded towards her calm if a bit too controlled.

"I'm a pirate. We like to keep things interesting." There was more to it than that, but Emma wasn't going to push. She knew how it felt to crave privacy. Hell, ever since she'd come to Storybrooke she'd had none and it frustrated her almost every day.

"Someday, when we aren't coming off of a week long stint on an island run by a crazy teenager, I wouldn't mind hearing more about how you did that." Killian was surprised at her answer clearly, but smiled once more reaching into his jacket for his flask.

"If you're so interested in the pirate's life, you should know that we never deny ourselves a celebration in times of victory, love." He offered her the flask and she took it, her fingers grazing across his as she did. The zings of excitement that coursed through her at the contact were heady and she shot back some of the rum. Henry was safe now, after all, and one drink couldn't hurt.

"Well we wouldn't want to break tradition." She offered the flask back to him and he took his own sip before looking back out into the distance. Though they stood there in silence for a moment, Emma felt compelled to say more. She wanted to leave the baggage from Neverland here, wanted it out of her system before getting back to Storybrooke, but she had no one she'd want to confide in. No one except for Killian.

"Pan mentioned regrets earlier, when he tied Regina and Mary Margaret and I up to that tree." Killian looked at her, a hint of concern in his eyes that was so sincere, Emma's heart skipped a beat. She looked down, not knowing if she could handle such strong emotions, but deciding she could try.

"Pan should never be trusted, Emma. Surely you can see that." Emma nodded and shockingly kept going with her confession. Maybe it was the rum, but she had a sneaking suspicion it was the man that came with it. She knew a secret with Killian would be kept safe, and he'd proven he was trust worthy time and time again on the island, so she took the risk.

"The reality is that I did let Henry down. I keep pushing back. I keep making things harder. Pan had a point, I don't know how to be a Mother in the way that my kid deserves, because I've never had one. I always go it alone, I only know how to be the orphan. But I'm trying. I just hope Henry knows that I want to do right by him." Killian reached for her hand with his, and Emma felt his fingers close around hers. She held on to his, after only a moment's hesitation and when she looked into his eyes, he spoke.

"I haven't ever seen you smile like you did when you saved your boy in the whole time I've known you. He knows that you love him, Swan. Never doubt that." Killian's words rang out with truth, Emma was sure of it. With anyone else, the words would have felt empty, or at least not believable. Her parents were hopeful people by nature, Regina was consumed with her own burdens when it came to Henry, and Neal… well Neal didn't know her anymore, and he definitely didn't know Henry. Even if Killian didn't know Henry well either, he did know her, and there was no denying that anymore.

"How do you do it?" Emma asked, pulling her hand back.

"Do what, love?" Killian said, not at all alarmed that she'd removed her hand. Even if he wanted more, he didn't let on. He let Emma have her space.

"You see right through me. I'm starting to think that anytime you're not calling me out, you're just biding your time."

"I once told you that you were an open book, love. I probably should have said you're a familiar one. Your eyes often give you away, but sometimes I can just sense what you must be thinking, for it's what I would think as well." The slight warble in his tone told Emma that he wasn't the kind of person that gave a lot of himself either, but he was trying too, and he'd been trying for a while now.

"Never thought I'd have so much in common with a pirate." Killian pulled back slightly at the term. "But I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"And why is that love?" His sounded like he was trying to suppress his curiosity, and Emma could tell that her answer mattered a great deal to him, especially after she'd called him a pirate.

"Because pirates have a code to live by, even if it's not the one that everyone else has. I don't particularly like being boxed in either. I hate when people try to tell me who I am."

"I would never presume to tell you who you are, love. But from what I can see, there are few who could ever compare." Emma felt a blush creep across her cheeks, and knew his gaze was surveying over all her features. She was on fire, and yet it felt good. She was slowly becoming addicted to the way he could light her up inside, even if she was running on empty. She should be exhausted, but she had never felt so alive.

"My life is complicated." The words were tumbling past her lips before she could stop them.

"That much I've gathered, love. My life isn't all smooth sailing either." Emma felt a smile tug at her lips.

"Did you just make a pun to make me feel better?" His hand scratched behind his ear and he looked a little bashful.

"That depends, is it working?" She laughed, and it felt good to do so, even if the sound was foreign to her ears.

"I think it is, actually. But maybe it's just the rum." She liked teasing him, liked the way his eyes got a little wider and their color got a little darker.

"Perhaps."

"So… when we get back to Storybrooke. What will you do?" Killian looked at Emma a while before replying.

"Well that would all depend."

"On what?" Emma held her breath, hoping it was something she could control. She didn't want to see him leave.

"On you, love." Emma felt her heart beating faster, pounding so much it was liable to fall out of her chest.

"On me?" He nodded, trying to ease some of her tension by rephrasing.

"Well yes. You're the leader after all. I don't want to burden you, Emma so when we go back I'll follow your lead." Emma let that digest before stepping forward.

"So if I ask you to stay…?" One of her hands came to rest on the lapel of his jacket, lower than the part she'd pulled closer to kiss him in the jungle. The feel of the leather against her fingertips was rough in a perfect way. The smell of him with a mix of spice and rum had Emma breathing in deeply.

"I'll stay," he said, his voice now a whisper as they were standing close enough that mere inches separated their lips. Emma thought back to the kiss and knew that even where she had been in denial, Killian had been willing to accept the truth. Whatever was flowing between them was more than a one-time thing. Honestly, it was the most intense pull she'd ever felt to anyone other than her son in her life.

"Okay then. Stay," Emma whispered, reaching up to stroke along his jaw. It was so unlike her, but she just wanted to touch him, wanted to know that he was real, and not some illusion brought about by the magic of Neverland. Too soon though she had to pull back, as there was a creak on one of the stairs of the Jolly. As Emma stepped back she saw her father, not exactly glaring, but certainly with his defenses up.

"Emma if you wanted to go see Henry, I could relieve you here." Emma shook her head, torn between laughing at David's protectiveness, and wanting to stay with Killian. Still, she should be with her son. When they got back to Storybrooke there would be more time for this.

"It wouldn't hurt you to thank him again, Dad." Emma watched as David's eyes filled with happiness at her calling him Dad, but he still looked a bit put off with the idea of thanking Killian. "He's the reason our family is making it back in one piece." Her father's features softened at that, and Emma turned back to look at Killian once more. She smiled at him, and he smiled back, giving her a small nod. The simple gesture held a lot of promise, and Emma would carry it with her for the rest of the journey home.

If Emma hadn't been so focused on her pirate, she would have noticed Mary Margaret watching each part of this interaction, right down to her husband's crossed arms and look of concern at the attraction between his daughter and Killian. For Snow though, this was a beautiful moment, for not only had Emma saved Henry and come to terms with much of past, she had also found the strength to try and let someone in. And that was a truly wonderful thing.

…..

 _I wake up in the morning, put on my face  
The one that's gonna get me through another day  
Doesn't really matter how I feel inside  
This life is like a game sometimes_

 _But then you came around me, the walls just disappeared  
Nothing to surround me and keep me from my fears  
I'm unprotected, see how I've opened up, oh  
You've made me trust_

 _'Cause I've never felt like this before  
I'm naked around you, does it show?  
You see right through me and I can't hide  
I'm naked around you, and it feels so right_

 _I'm trying to remember why I was afraid  
To be myself and let the covers fall away  
I guess I never had someone like you  
To help me fit in my skin_

 _I've never felt like this before  
I'm naked around you, does it show?  
You see right through me and I can't hide  
I'm naked around you, and it feels so right_

 _I'm naked, does it show?  
I'm naked, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah  
I'm naked around you, does it show?_

 _I'm so naked around you and I can't hide  
You're gonna, you're gonna see right through  
(See right through me and I)  
You're gonna see right through  
(Naked around you)_

 _I'm so naked around you and I can't hide  
You're gonna see right through, baby_

 _ **Post-Note: I know I said I was done with rewriting scenes this week, but I technically didn't rewrite – I added a whole new scene. It's funny because during 3A, when the show was on TV airing each week, I didn't mind the slow burn. It never occurred to me that I needed an Emma and Killian scene on the Jolly then. But as each season has continued, it becomes harder and harder to rewatch episodes without wishing I could add things. All the unspoken tension and will they wont they just leaves me wanting more, so here I am writing it. Also, shout out to my awesome follower who reminded me of this song and thus inspired this scene. Without this song it never would have occurred to me, so for that I am very grateful! Anyways, hope you guys are enjoying your weekend and thanks for reading!**_


	46. Be Alright

_**A/N: Killian is freaking out about the next big bad, extremely angry at the Universe that there's something else to handle so close to when they've made it back home, and it's Emma who is grounded in hope and love and certainty. Culminates in smutty moment between the two as Emma reminds him with her actions that what they have is their own version of heaven. Inspired by "Be Alright" by Ariana Grande.**_

"Gods, this is ridiculous! I'm back not even a week and the Universe deems fit to through us some more darkness to battle?!" Emma watched Killian pacing back and forth in the station as her parents, Regina and Robin also watched on. Still, where he was riddled with tension, Emma was… well Emma was just happy.

"Don't blame yourself, guyliner, I'm sure it is just coincidence that you returned and so did an evil villain to face." The eye roll that Killian set free at Regina's words actually caused Emma to laugh. Correction – she didn't laugh she giggled, like a little girl, the sound bubbling up from somewhere within that she couldn't identify. The chuckle had everyone staring at her, including Killian.

"Emma, love, why aren't you worried about this." She moved closer to him, taking his hand.

"Because I have you back, and as long as you're here I know it's going to be alright." Killian's worry started to ebb a bit, and there was a softness that came to his features that Emma wanted to see more of. They'd had a gloriously happy past few days – the kind of days that made everything so incredibly worth it. Emma was too busy being thankful that she had her true love back to worry about what was coming next.

"You seem awfully sure of that." Emma smiled again.

"I know, go figure. Usually you're the one talking me back from a mental break down. It's actually a nice change of pace." She placed a soft kiss to his lips and then turned back to the others. "Killian's right to worry though, we need to better understand what's coming our way…" Emma made eye contact with her mother who immediately understood.

"Why don't the four of us start gathering intel. I'll grab Belle, see if she can start doing some research at the library. You two have been through a lot. Enjoy whatever moments we have before the storm hits." With that, Snow pulled Charming from the station, while Regina and Robin _poofed_ away, presumably to do their own digging into whatever foe was starting to cause problems. Alone at last, Emma pulled Killian closer to her by the lapel of his jacket.

"Say it," Emma implored.

"Say what?" Killian asked, like he didn't know. Emma raised a brow at him. "Okay, it's just a little strange, love. You're so calm, but there is darkness ahead. There's trouble coming once more." Emma sighed as she ran her fingers along the V that cut down on his shirt.

"Let it come. I meant what I said, Killian. We've survived worse than this, and we'll make it through again. I have to believe that. There's too much proof that we are meant to be to deny it." Killian grinned.

"So what do you propose we do with the time we have left?" His lips were now just inches from hers, and Emma moved closer until they were a whisper apart.

"I could show you better than I could tell you." With that, she unleashed her white magic to bring them back to their home, where they now found themselves in the kitchen. Killian's surprise was evident as Emma stepped away and moved to the refrigerator.

"It's unkind to tease a man like this, love." Emma tossed him a sly smile as she pulled out what she needed from the fridge. She placed the container that had chilling chocolate chip cookie dough before him and now his smile returned.

"You really should learn to trust me," Emma pretended to be cross, but even to her ears it didn't sound sincere. Then Killian wrapped his arms around her, his chest pressed against her back as she scooped out the individual pieces onto a cookie sheet.

"I trust you with all my heart, love. I just never dreamed you'd choose cookies over sex." Emma huffed. She was trying to give them a carefree after noon. What could be more carefree than cookies?

"Why choose when you can have both?" She slipped the cookies in the oven and turned around in his grasp, holding out a spoon filled with the remnants of the dough for him to lick off. He gave a hum of pleasure at that and Emma pulled him in for a kiss that was demanding and intertwined. When they finally pulled back just to catch their breath, Emma smiled.

"I did a good job on this batch. But I could use another taste." This time it was Killian who scraped some from the bowl to give to her and the next kiss that came devolved into a steamier embrace. They were stripping the clothes off of each other, needing the barriers between them gone and fast.

"Emma, love, we should take precautions." Emma nodded and flicked her wrist, setting up the force field around the house that would keep noise inside and alert them if anyone was coming to find them here. "Much better," Killian said as he lifted her up and placed her on the island. Stripping her of her jeans, and then the panties that lay beneath, Killian looked over to the timer.

"Think I can make you come in six minutes, love?" She shook her head.

"No, you can make me come in half that time."

"Well I do love a challenge," and boy did he ever rise to it, burying his face between her legs, and teasing her with his tongue and then his fingers. It was pure ecstasy, and the furthest thing from either of their minds was the impending arrival of the shit storm to come. Instead, Killian triumphed that he could in fact please his Swan in half the time, and took the remaining minutes to remove his own clothes and to bring Emma back down, kissing along her neck, until sucking on that one spot that drove her crazy.

When the timer dinged, Emma quickly removed the cookies and placed the tray on the cooling rack. Then she grabbed Killian's hand, leading him into the living room to find a little more love.

"They need about ten minutes to cool. What could we get done in that kind of time?" The gleam in Killian's eyes held promise, but Emma surprised him, pushing him down onto the couch and kneeling down in front of him. "I think turn about is fair play in this case." Emma reveled in being able to bring him as much gratification as he had brought her just moments before, and when she was done, Killian was at that perfect point between desperate and demanding that Emma always craved. Still, she moved just out of his reach, insisting that the cookies needed to still be warm when they had them.

They stood together, now, eating chocolate chip cookies and drinking a glass of milk completely naked, and Emma took a moment to appreciate the situation and giggle once more. Killian pulled her to him and asked her what her laughter was about.

"I don't think my parents had this in mind when they tried to give us one more day of freedom." Killian groaned.

"Emma, first rule of making love to your fiancé, don't bring up your parents when in the nude." Emma laughed again as she looked down at the ring on her finger that he'd given her when he made it back to her. It was beautiful, but not as beautiful as they were together.

"Hey, I didn't know there as a rule book. And what makes you such an expert? You've never been engaged either." Killian shrugged as if to say _'don't know, just am'_ and that was enough to have Emma bringing his lips crashing back on hers.

"Take me to bed, Captain." She said right before he swept her up into his arms, and sound protecting spell or not, Emma would be surprised if no one had heard her excited squeal at Killian's touch. It was so unlike her, and yet, it was exactly who she was always meant to be. They were destined for each other, and they were going to be more than alright. In the end, they were going to be really and truly happy.

…..

 _Midnight shadows  
When finding love is a battle  
But daylight is so close_ _  
_ _So don't you worry 'bout a thing_ __

 _We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright_ __

 _Baby don't you know  
All of them tears gon' come and go_ _  
_ _Baby you just gotta make up your mind_ _  
_ _That every little thing is gonna be alright_ _  
_ _Baby don't you know_ _  
_ _All of them tears gon' come and go_ _  
_ _Baby you just gotta make up your mind_ _  
_ _We decide it_ __

 _We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright_ __

 _We're in slow motion  
Can't seem to get where we're going  
But the hard times are golden  
Cause they all lead to better days_ __

 _We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright_ __

 _Baby don't you know  
All of them tears gon' come and go  
Baby you just gotta make up your mind_ _  
_ _That every little thing is gonna be alright_ _  
_ _Baby don't you know_ _  
_ _All of them tears gon' come and go_ _  
_ _Baby you just gotta make up your mind_ _  
_ _We decide it_

 _We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright, ooh baby  
We're gonna be alright  
We're gonna be alright_

 _ **Post- Note: Shameless smuff for this chapter guys, because again, we deserve it. I couldn't just leave it with fluff in 'Hope Springs' today either, I had to share the wealth, and let myself enjoy the happiness just a bit longer. It was definitely the best remedy to the lingering angst from Sunday's episode. I hope you guys enjoy, and as always, thanks for reading!**_


	47. Ghosts

_**A/N: This chapter expands on a scene in 3x01 when Emma freaks out at her parents. It is told from Killian's perspective and as such adds a different dynamic to the scene, while creating a moment that didn't actually happen on the show. There is no Gold absconding like an idiot, and we get a cute bonding moment between Killian and Emma. Inspired by 'Ghost' by Lianne La Havas.**_

"I appreciate you trying to be parents. But we are the same age. We have equal amounts of wisdom." Killian heard Emma's words as they sounded through the upper decks, unperturbed by wind or surf. Her voice was filled with emotion, cracking from her feelings of anger and loss and pain. Killian felt his heart squeeze at the sound, but he remained at the wheel, not wanting to interfere with the scene before him.

"And all I want is Henry." Her fierce loyalty to her son, her need to be with him and for him to be safe was something that also gripped at Killian tightly. He hardly remembered his own mother, and the memories he had of his no good father were terrible. Emma too had grown up largely an orphan, but where he had Liam, she had no one. Now her son was lost, being held captive by Pan and she would do anything to free him from that. Even accept the help of a pirate like himself.

"I should never have broken the curse. I should've just taken Henry and –"

"You're right." Snow interrupted, and Killian couldn't tell if that bothered him. Part of him knew Emma needed to get this out, even if she'd regret the harshness of the words later. The intensity of her emotions was draining her. But at the same time, Snow was trying to be there for her daughter. Perhaps, if Emma could just let them in, that could help her too. "Then you'd be together. We missed you growing up Emma, and it haunts us every day!"

"And that's why we're here now." The prince added. "We don't want you to have to go through the same thing too. And you won't. We are gonna get our family back."

"How can you two be so infuriatingly optimistic?!" Emma was yelling at this point, and Killian felt the force of it, even from the distance he stood away. The _'think happy thoughts'_ mentality wasn't going to work here. Surely the Charmings could see that.

"It's who we are."

"Why?! Ever since you got your memories back – ever since you remembered that you're Snow White and Prince Charming, your live have… they've… well they've sucked!"

"No we found you." Charming responded calmly.

"And lost Henry! And Neal, and countless other people!" Anyone else would be at his or her breaking point, the surge of emotion too much to bear, tears likely falling, but Killian didn't have to see Emma's face to know that she wasn't like those people. She was still holding strong, still fortifying her heart with all sorts of walls. She might not be able to keep the pain out, but she could still try for coldness. She could attempt to find strength in anger.

"Emma, the minute I lose faith that things will get better, is the minute I know that they won't. We'll find Henry." Emma looked near continuing with the tirade, but Killian spoke, unsure why he felt the need to step in.

"Swan, a word?" Emma turned to glare at him, and Killian felt the heaviness of her gaze. If looks could kill, he may very well have been a casualty of this fight with her parents, but then her eyes softened a bit and she gave a nod before turning to her parents and whispering something Killian couldn't hear. Up the stairs she walked until she reached him, coming to stand near the wheel with her arms across her chest.

"Can I help you?" she grumbled out.

"I was thinking that it's I who could help you, love." The barrier she had in place, the armor that she wore started to draw down a bit. Her arms loosened, even if they still were wrapped around her, and the lines of anger on her face eased off some.

"And how would you do that?" she asked annoyed still, if a little less hostile.

"By creating a fake excuse to give you some space from the familial smothering I've been witnessing down there." Emma's eyes grew a bit wider.

"I can handle my own battles." Killian nodded.

"Of course you can, Swan. But why play the villain when you have a pirate at your disposal willing to take the fall?" Her lips curled into what was almost a smile, and he saw some of the tension leave her shoulders. He meanwhile, felt like the whole world was swirling around him, for he'd never had the chance to look at her head on for this long. Lost in the swirls of green in her eyes, in the way that beneath the hardened surface there was fear and something more. She was truly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and her edges only made her more intriguing, for they reminded him of his own beliefs. Going it alone was the surest way to save oneself from pain. Still, with Emma Swan so near, Killian hated the idea of going it alone. Hundreds of years of belief were washing away under the guarded gaze of this lovely siren.

"Regretting your decision to help us yet?" She asked as she took a step forward. Killian shook his head.

"Not in the slightest. Saving your son from Pan is a worthy crusade, love. No child deserves a life as a lost boy… or girl." Emma looked away, but not before Killian saw the sadness in her own eyes. Emma would know a thing or two about what a life like that did to a person.

"Still, we're hardly a cohesive group. I told you that you could be a part of something bigger than yourself, but all we are here… is regrets and missed what-ifs." Killian debated letting the words hang between them, but he wouldn't feel right letting Emma believe that.

"The Queen's curse denied you a life with your mother and father Emma, just as it denied them the chance to have you. Only time can heal that wound for you. But the curse also brought you to this moment. It brought you your son, and despite what you said, you don't strike me as the kind of woman who could know there were people suffering and turn away. You may hesitate to claim them, but you are the daughter of heroes, and that's a hard life to shake. Besides, when on a quest like this, having the heroes on your side can only help." Killian hadn't meant to say so much, and when he was finally done speaking, he scratched behind his ear, nervous that he had ruined any of the subtle friendliness that existed between him and Emma, but she remained in that same spot, still looking out at the sea, contemplating.

"I have to find him, Hook." The whisper made it's way to him just as she turned to meet his gaze once more. Only now were there tears, and Killian wished he could move forward and wipe them away. He hated to see her in pain.

"I will do everything I can to help you do just that, Emma. You have my word." Then it was Emma who was moving forward, coming to standing just an arms length away.

"I know it's crazy, but I trust you. I know you're telling me the truth."

"As I always will, Swan." Then she really did smile, and Killian felt as if the sun was shining even if to the rest of the world around them it was still nighttime. The skip in his heart beat told Killian of the dangers he was facing by growing attached to a woman like Emma Swan. She was good, and light, and wonderful, thoroughly out of the league of a centuries old pirate who was too jaded and hell bent on revenge to amount to anything. He looked away, until he felt her hand settle on his arm just above his hook.

"Who knows, maybe saving Henry can help with some of your ghosts too." Killian mutely nodded, as Emma turned to speak to her parents once more. Before that though, she faced him once more and said the last of her piece. "Thank you, Killian."

He bowed to her as she left, and was now standing alone once more at the wheel of his ship, completely thrown off kilter. For while he prided himself on being able to see and understand Emma, he hadn't realized that he himself was so transparent. Though she could never know the whole story just from looking at him, she was perceptive enough to know he was haunted by his past. Still she'd shown no revulsion, had made no attempt to dismiss him, and instead had let him in, if even for a moment. Watching her from his post, Killian had to admit that there was something impossibly remarkable about Emma. Thanks to her, his demons had left him alone for now, and the life of darkness he'd succumbed to for years felt less set in stone. Perhaps, with the belief of a certain savior, he could be good once more. Maybe he could let his ghosts lie, and he could carve out a life beyond the ending he'd already thought was written for him.

…

 _Whenever I called you  
I couldn't say  
It was only yesterday  
And yesterday's so far away  
What's the ETA?_

 _Don't tell me you need me  
I am estranged  
And I'm over-aged  
The trouble it may be  
There's still a part of me  
That has to know  
What you have to say_

 _On and on we go  
Always with the ghosts of us in tow  
Stuck somewhere between a friend and foe  
Round and round we go_

 _Oh, round and round again  
Looking for a life beyond the end  
Lost somewhere between a foe and friend  
Round and round again_

 _I should have told you  
Yes, I'm to blame  
Oh, I took the blame  
Turned it into this serenade  
Oh, the mess I've made_

 _And I should have warned you  
What was in store  
But I was so so sure  
I wasn't haunted anymore  
Not forevermore_

 _On and on we go  
Always with the ghosts of us in tow  
Stuck somewhere between a friend and foe  
Round and round we go_

 _Oh, round and round again  
Looking for a life beyond the end  
Lost somewhere between a foe and friend  
Round and round again_

 _On and on we go  
Always with the ghosts of us in tow  
Stuck somewhere between a friend and foe  
Round and round we go_


	48. Everlasting Love

_**A/N: AU Fic where Emma and Killian meet during a chance encounter on the T in Boston. It's love at first sight, and they enjoy a really cute conversation that distracts Killian so much that he misses his stop. Inspired by 'Everlasting Love' by Fifth Harmony.**_

 _God, why don't I have a car again?_ Emma thought as she made her way into the congested train. It was unbearable, and every so often, it was a reality she had to face. Still, the answer to her own internal rhetorical question was simple – she didn't actually need one. Most days she worked at hours that just missed the rush of people that also used the green line, but today was not that day. For whatever reason, the trolley before her was full when she'd been waiting on the platform and now she was smashed like a sardine into the train. She could have hung around near work, but today, well today had just been terrible and she wanted nothing more than to get home, curl up with a blanket and a good book and leave reality behind her.

She managed to find a spot, standing at the edge of the door and the first seat, holding on to the railing above, but it was a tight squeeze, so tight that at the next stop, when the doors opened and more people got on, Emma got jostled nearly outside of the train and onto the street.

"Woah there, love." The voice of the person she would henceforth call her savior was lilted with an accent and made heat flush through her. The man himself though, well he was something else. His dark hair falling slightly on his brow, a lopsided grin and deep blue eyes made him one of the best looking men she'd ever seen. But she'd seen these eyes before, almost every day. He was one of the few other regular commuters at the times she rode the T, leading Emma to believe that whatever he did for work was just as demanding as her job.

"It's you! I mean thank you." Oh god, she was such a freak, he probably had no idea who she was. She was always sneaking glances at him, sure, how could she not. But they had never spoken before. To him, she was probably some random clumsy woman that he had the misfortune to save. But that's not how it seemed when the gleam in his eyes matched his widening smile.

"Last time I checked, I am in fact me yes." He extended his hand in the very small amount of space that they had and introduced himself. "Killian Jones at your service."

"Emma Swan. And really, thank you for the help. I may actually owe you my life." He shook his head, and just a bit more of his hair fell on his brow. Emma had to clutch her other hand into a tight fist to keep from pushing it away. He was gracious enough to overlook her weird greeting; she couldn't make things bad again by touching him.

"You owe me nothing, but I must admit I'm a little thankful. See I've been trying over the past few weeks to gather the courage to speak to you, and now I have my in." Emma raised a brow at that.

"What's the matter? Shy around women, or am I just too intimidating?" He blushed, and the pink in his cheeks was endearing. His blush was also a clue that he was telling the truth and was earnest in this. It set an excited flurry of pleasure flowing through her.

"What can I saw, love? I've never thought myself a coward, but recent weeks have taught me differently." His smile faded a bit at that, and Emma grabbed his hand once more.

"Hey, I was only teasing. So why did you want to speak to me at all?"

"Because you're beautiful, and clearly very bright. Last week you were reading _War and Peace_ and already it's on to Byron's poems." Emma was the one blushing now. Killian had clearly been paying attention, and all this time she'd thought there was no way he could be.

"If you were going to speak, what were you going to say?" Emma asked, her voice a bit breathier than it just had been as she was still a bit raw from the compliments.

"I was going to ask if you drink coffee or tea, or hell water even, and I was going to see if you'd like to maybe do it sometime with me." Emma smiled at how flustered he was, and in that moment she realized that she was in deep trouble. Killian Jones had managed to walk into her life and throw everything for a loop. With him right now, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she shouldn't let someone in again. It was risky, but something in her gut told her she could take the risk, at least with him.

"I think I could be persuaded."

"Anything, Swan. I'll do anything." The way he used her last name like that, saying it like it held all this beauty and power, it had a shiver running through her and she stepped just a bit closer, wanting the nearness. It was a huge rush to know this crazy hot guy was so into her too, and Emma wanted to test that attraction.

"I'll only come with you, if there's food too." He laughed at that, clearly relieved and then raised his brow to her in return.

"Uninterested in a cheap date then, Emma?" She almost forgot how to speak, the sound of his laughter was still filling her ears, and it made her a little dizzy, but somehow she managed to recover.

"I just thought maybe, since you've been pining over me for weeks, you might like to try for a first date that was a bit more substantial." His hand came up to tuck a strand of her blonde hair back around her ear, and just the lightest touch of his fingertips there made Emma feel like she was burning from the inside out.

"You're very perceptive, Swan. Yes, if you're interested, I would like to take you to dinner. Anywhere you want to go." Emma couldn't help but tease him just a little more.

"Wow, Jones. You're really going to have me doing all the work, with this? I manage to put myself in harms way so you'll save me, I make it dinner instead of drinks, and now I have to choose the place?" The look he gave her was simultaneously worried and embarrassed and Emma couldn't contain the giggle bubbling up in her chest. It passed through her lips and she covered her mouth, trying to keep it in. "Sorry, I'm really only joking. If we ever do get to that date, you'll learn I'm prone to it."

"Oh we will be going on a date, Emma. And I daresay there'll be a second and a third." Emma's eyes moved to his mouth, and she swore they were just a breath away from kissing, when the speaker overhead said they'd reach River View station.

"Bloody hell, I missed my stop." He ran a hand through his hair and Emma bit her lip, sorry she had caused him to be so distracted. "Oh who am I kidding, this was more than worth it. Now, may I ask you for your number before I go love, or must I wait to speak to you again until the morning commute?" Emma grabbed the pen and little note pad she always carried in her bag and wrote the number quickly before handing him the paper. The doors opened, and it was time for him to go, suddenly she wished the train ride was longer, but this was the way things were.

"Thank you, Emma." He said and just as the doors were closing, she cried out.

"For what?" But the cold metal shut between them and the train moved forward once more. Then she got a text notification and she looked down to see an unidentified number.

 _K: Thank you for making this otherwise terrible day one I'll always remember._

"Hold on to that one, honey," the old woman in the seat behind Emma said.

"Oh trust me, I will."

…

 _One Year Later_

"Are you ever going to tell me where we're going?" Emma asked she and Killian stepped onto the train hand in hand. Clearly wherever it was, it was further in the city, but he'd been so secretive, you'd think he was dealing with national security secrets instead of the destination of a one-year anniversary dinner.

"Emma, love, I know you're not much for surprises, but you just have to trust me on this." Of course she trusted him, that fact was never in question. No, what Emma was worrying about was how much anxiety was rolling off of him right now. It was so unlike him to worry, and it was impossible to miss. Still, Emma knew if there was a problem, he would tell her. To try and ease both of their minds, she ran her other hand across his chest.

"It's crazy to think that a year ago today you saved me from death by rush hour traffic, and now here we are, still kind of into each other." The growl that came from Killian filled Emma with a rush of warmth. She loved getting him riled up, and over the course of their relationship the past year, she definitely had not let up on the teasing.

"You love me, Emma. Just as I love you." She sighed dramatically, feigning that it was such a hardship to love this wonderful, caring, devilishly handsome man.

"I know, it's my lot in life I'm afraid." She couldn't help but squeal as his arms wrapped around hers and pulled her closer so they were just a few inches apart.

"You're forgetting some parts in your story love. Like how every day I'd look over my shoulder hoping to catch a glimpse of you. Like how you took my breath away every time I saw you – stole the words right out of my mouth. Like how I didn't even know you but I highly suspected you could be the one to make me whole again." Emma blinked up at her gorgeous, kind, incredibly sexy boy friend and felt a little mistiness in her eyes. He was so good to her, and she was hoping desperately that things could stay as they were right now forever. Hell, she'd give over to a life completely lived on the train if it meant she could be with Killian and they'd be happy. Killian's hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb grazing just slightly and he smiled.

"You also have a fantastic ability to throw a wrench in my plans, Swan. I wasn't supposed to find love and live happily ever after. And I definitely wasn't supposed to ask you to marry me in a train car." Emma's breath caught in her throat at his words. Did he just say he wanted her to marry him?!

Surely enough, he pulled a light blue box from his jacket pocket and opened it up, presenting to her the ring inside that was gorgeous, and unique and completely perfect. Emma's hand came to cover her mouth, and her eyes flew back up to his.

"Your call, Emma. Do you want the story of us to include a proposal on the train, harking back to the very moment of our meeting? Or do you want the adventure I had planned for our evening?" Emma didn't hesitate.

"Both. Killian Jones, will you marry me?" She watched the surprise overtake his features. Clearly he hadn't anticipated that she would ask him so that he could ask her later, but the grin on his face, and the light in his eyes was enough to assure Emma that he was pleased with her new change in plans.

"Yes, Emma. I will marry you." Then he lowered his lips to hers and the two of them were so lost in their moment they missed their stop for the next part of the adventure. No matter though, for when dealing with an everlasting love, there is one important thing to keep in mind - a bond like that will always find a way and anything is possible with the help of such powerful magic.

…

 _Always looking over my shoulder  
'Cause I don't ever wanna miss you  
I been thinking about you daily  
Can't wait to see your face  
And I don't even know you  
But I know that I can't wait to kiss you  
Somehow I know when we finally lock eyes  
That you'll feel the same way_

 _You're gonna be all I needed  
You make me feel like a dream  
Whoever you are  
Baby, you are  
The one I'm waiting for_

 _You're my ever- everlasting love  
My ever- everlasting love  
And I'm never ever giving up  
'Til you're laying next to me  
I'm lookin' for that ever- everlasting love  
Forever ever kind of touch  
And I'll never ever get enough  
Baby, we were meant to be_

 _Ain't no use in wasting my time  
On just anybody, baby  
I want exceptional, original  
Someone I can't deny  
I'm in love with you already  
I know it sounds crazy  
But I hope you save all you got for me  
'Cause, baby, you're all mine_

 _You're gonna be all I needed  
You make me feel like a dream  
Whoever you are  
Baby, you are  
The one I'm waiting for_

 _You're my ever- everlasting love  
My ever- everlasting love  
And I'm never ever giving up  
'Til you're laying next to me  
I'm lookin' for that ever- everlasting love  
Forever ever kind of touch  
And I'll never ever get enough  
Baby, we were meant to be_

 _Everlasting love  
Everlasting love  
Everlasting love  
My everlasting love_

 _I don't even know your name  
I can't get you off my brain  
Darling, I can hardly wait  
'Til I can get to know you  
You'll be beautifully insane  
Infinitely all for me  
Promise you'll be glad you came  
I can't wait to show you_

 _You're my ever- everlasting love  
My ever- everlasting love  
And I'm never ever giving up  
'Til you're laying next to me  
I'm lookin' for that ever- everlasting love  
Forever ever kind of touch  
And I'll never ever get enough  
Baby, we were meant to be_

 _Everlasting love  
Everlasting love  
Everlasting love  
My everlasting love_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have today's fluffy fix. I have wanted to write a fic where Emma and Killian meet on the train for a long time, and I am still toying with a multi-chapter fic where they meet that way (it wouldn't be a continuation of this story though). If you guys think you might like that, let me know :) Hope that you guys enjoyed, and that everyone is slowly but surely making it through this week!**_


	49. Make You Feel My Love

_**A/N: Back in Storybrooke once more, Killian has asked Emma to marry him – at what turned out to be a very inopportune moment. They are interrupted by Henry who needs to talk to Emma alone right away. Killian meanwhile awaits Emma's response, and though he knows they are true love, he worries – maybe Emma isn't ready? Maybe she never will be. It's a load of crap – because of course she's saying yes. This is one of my stories, it's gonna be sappy and fluffy, and sweet. Inspired by Adele's version of 'Make You Feel My Love.'**_

 _Killian_

Walking hand in hand with Emma, after everything that had come to pass was an incredible experience. Gone were the garish red tones of the sky, and the sight of decomposition everywhere. Instead there was only the warm light of the sun, a gentle breeze and Emma's happy little sigh as they walked down by the Storybrooke beach together. She squeezed his hand a bit tighter and Killian looked over to see what might be the cause. On her face there was just a radiant smile.

"I feel like this is a dream." Killian stopped walking, and turned to face her fully, pulling Emma slightly closer and reveling in the way her eyes grew wider with surprise.

"It's not a dream, love. I'm here, we're both here together, and I am not going anywhere." She pulled him down by the collar of his jacket, kissing him lightly and when she stepped back, it was all Killian could do not to follow her. He wanted more, needed longer than the stolen moments, and maybe now – after everything they'd been through, after looking in the face of death and overcoming, he could finally ask for that.

"Emma, I've been carrying something with me, since before the darkness, and I've been wishing for what it represents far longer than that." Her green eyes looked confused and he muttered a curse under his breath. "Sorry, I'm bungling this up. What I'm trying to say is that I love you, Emma. I love you more than anything, and I am always going to. I want to be here, at your side forever." She smiled at that, and her hand came up to cup his cheek.

"Yeah I kind of got all that from the whole true love thing." He couldn't help the way his own lips curled up at her playfulness.

"Our new found status is a bit indicative of what I'm talking about yes." Emma giggled, and the sound had this healing property. It buzzed through him leaving nothing but light and calm in its wake. He felt her love in the most amazing ways, in the little looks she gave him, in her smile, in the way she'd opened her heart to him so fully. Now all he could think was that he wanted her to feel his too.

"Sorry, it's just still exciting. I get to have true love, and it gets to be you." The look on her face exuded love and happiness, and Killian had never in his life seen more beauty. The smile she wore reached her big green eyes and it was infectious, crossing from her features to his. Gods how he'd missed this smile in their time apart. Still he needed to be brave right now – no more hiding, no more waiting. He could do this. He could ask the love of his life to be his in name and in spirit.

"Marry me, love." The shock on her features was apparent, but just as whatever was underneath the surprise was about to manifest, a call came from further up the beach.

"Mom! I've been looking for you everywhere." Emma didn't let go of Killian's hand, and she cast him one last glance, a silent apology for the broken moment before turning her full attention to Henry.

"Kid, what's going on? Are you okay?" Henry nodded but he still looked determined to speak to his mother. As her son, it was his right and Killian released his hold on Emma's hand and nodded towards Henry.

"Henry needs you love, I'll be here when you're done." Emma nodded and Killian spared a glance to Henry who was grinning, and then winked when his mother wasn't looking. What in the world did that mean? Then the two of them were gone, and Killian heard another voice, one that shouldn't have been there.

"Killian!" The stage whisper came from behind him and Killian nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Mary Margaret and Regina suddenly here, presumably from the Queen's magic.

"Bloody hell, love. Hasn't anyone ever told you not to sneak up on a pirate like that?" Snow smiled, while Regina gave a sarcastic eye roll.

"David told us you're going to propose and we wanted to see when it was going to be." Killian knew in this moment that his face must be as red as the Underbrooke sky had been, for the embarrassment was at an all time high.

"To be honest, I just did, only before I could get down on one knee or get an answer, Henry came needing his mother for something." The look on Snow's face was a mix of horror and guilt as Regina bit back a bark of laughter.

"That is… well honestly it's hilarious." Killian bristled a bit at Regina's comment.

"It's _hilarious_ that I would try and propose to my true love?" Regina shook her head.

"Not what I meant, Killian, and you know that. No, the funny part is that here we were trying to help you and it seems we've only messed things up." Killian looked to Snow who nodded.

"David told us that you asked for sometime in the future. I just didn't want you to wait too long. Life is short – which obviously you know – but I have pictured Emma's being proposed to for ages, and I just wanted to make sure it was special." Killian appreciated the instincts, even if he was now in a less than desirable position. He had asked Emma, with no response, and now what he thought had been a special moment, was undercut by those who wished for something grander.

"What did you have in mind?" Snow smiled once more, and clapped her hands together.

"Show him Regina." With a flick of wrist, Regina covered the sands with flowers and candles to such a degree that there was hardly any room to walk. Now above his head there was a trellis of sorts with white flowers hanging from them and instead of his usual leathers he wore – well more leather but in some other kind of design, like the suits he'd seen in this world.

"Well this is, certainly… something." He looked up at Regina who was nodding as if approving her own work, and Snow who had gone misty eyed from seeing it all before her.

"It's so beautiful." He hated to let Snow down, even if the two of them weren't particularly close. This was Emma's mother, a woman who by all accounts had good intentions for her daughter's happiness. But where Snow had the best intentions, she'd also been known for lacking understanding of who Emma was and what she wanted.

"But is it, Emma?" The words were out of his mouth before he could think twice about them. Both Regina and Snow seemed to consider this for the first time and neither immediately could respond yes, which told Killian everything he needed to know.

"I'm sorry, Killian, I wasn't thinking clearly. I heard proposal and just went full speed ahead." Killian smiled, despite the lack luster situation he was in. He could make the best of this, and in fact, he had an idea about just how to do that.

….

 _Emma_

"Dad, you seriously sent Henry to get me for the copier being on the fritz? We don't even use this thing!" Emma might have yelled just a bit louder than was necessary, but hell if it wasn't just a terrible time to be pulled away from Killian. She had assumed there was an emergency and there was only some sort of debacle with office supplies.

"Emma, I'm sorry. I thought it was worse than it is." That was a lie if she'd ever heard one, and as she looked between her father and her son, Emma realized that there was something else going on here.

"Any other day this wouldn't be a big deal, but Killian and I… we were having a _really_ important moment. So what is actually going on?" Her father blanched a bit at her statement about important moments and Henry actually looked like he might be sick. Still her son rallied, finding his voice where his grandfather couldn't.

"Did he already ask you?" Emma quirked a brow. "Killian came to Grandpa and me and asked for our blessing. He's wanted to ask you for a while, way before all the Underworld stuff. But then Grandpa told Grandma, and she got it in her head that you needed it to be special and so she set all of this in motion… operation Captain Swan." Emma looked at her dad, now biting back a smile, needing to appear frustrated even as she saw the humor in the situation.

"Is that true?" Her father nodded, and the remorse in his gaze was sincere. Emma had to appreciate that; surely this couldn't be easy for him.

"It is. We thought he meant sometime in the future. If I'd thought he was going to ask you right now, I would have tried to reign in Snow. But you know your mother, and she's been dreaming up your wedding since the day she found out she was pregnant with you." Emma sighed, laying on the dramatics just a bit and finally nodded.

"So what was supposed to be one of the best moments of my life – where the guy I love asks me to marry him – just got hijacked by my parents, my son, and an ex-evil queen turned friend and co-parent. Why did I think this would go any other way?" Smiling at the last part set both David and Henry more at ease and Henry smiled back.

"You have to admit, it makes for a good story though." Emma hugged Henry and laughed at that, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.

"You and your stories. Now, I've got to get back and say yes." As Emma as about to poof herself away David cleared his throat, halting her motion. "Anything else?"

"Knowing your mother, she will have convinced Killian to let her stay and watch. So maybe play it up a little so she gets the version of this story she always wanted…" Emma knew that was likely true her mother would be there in some capacity, but that her Dad was actually imploring her to be more romantic with Killian? That was it's own bizarre level of funny.

"I think I know what would make this an even better story," and before she could explain to her questioning son or father, she had _poofed_ the three of them to the beach. Her father and Henry were a distance away, up higher on the sands, and Emma was back right where she'd left from. Killian was facing away from her now, looking out into the sea, and Emma felt a bit of tension melt away that there wasn't not this grand display before her. Killian must have spoken some sense to her mother, and for that she was thankful. He didn't need huge grand gestures – he was more than enough.

"Sorry about that." As soon as she spoke the words, Killian twisted around to see her, and he gave her a shy smile, extending his hand where he held one single red rose, just as he had on their first date. Emma took it instantly and brought it to her nose. The smell was sweet, and it intermingled with the flutters of excitement rushing through her in an almost dizzying way.

"There's nothing to apologize for, love. I think this was quite out of our hands." Emma laughed, as she moved closer, taking his hand once more and closing the space between them. She steadied her breathing, taking only a moment to get her wits about her and then looked into his eyes, facing the turning point before them.

"You were going to ask me something before I got called away on a copier crisis." Killian's confusion was quickly subdued with a renewed purpose in his blue eyes, and Emma watched as he took his hand back and pulled from his pocket a small box and bent down on one knee. Just the action alone was enough to have her tearing up, and her hand came to her chest, as if trying to keep her heart in place. It was beating so rapidly, she thought it likely it would fall out, but the stress of it only symbolized how much love she had. There was no fear, only an adrenaline fueled excitement for what was coming.

"Emma, love, we are a couple made up of moments, both good and bad. The story of us is filled with twists and turns, with ups and downs, but there has never been a time when I was by your side when I have not loved you. If you say yes to what I'm about to ask, know that I will never stop fighting for us, never stop working towards our happiness together, and never stop trying to show you that you are the greatest part of my world." Emma felt a tear falling down her cheek and she wiped it away before pointing out one more thing in the silence that held between us.

"You forgot to ask your question." Her voice was clogged with emotion, with the sound of unshed tears combined with a hiccup of laughter.

"Bloody hell, I did, didn't I? Emma Swan, will you marry me?" There they were – the words she was ready for and desperate to hear.

"Yes, Killian. Nothing would make me happier." He rose from his knee in a flash and the beautiful ring was on her finger just as fast. Then time stopped, as they shared a passionate kiss that made all the other ones before it seem tame. This was a profession of love and trust and hope that had the world around them feeling brighter and more alive than ever. When they pulled back Emma noticed their surroundings and gasped. Hundreds of rose blossoms were scattered across the sand interspersed with candles. It was beautiful, and it was also way over the top.

"Let me guess, my mother's input?" Killian grinned and nodded.

"We made a bit of a compromise, love. She got to watch the proposal with Regina, and if you said yes, you could have all of this." Emma laughed as she dipped her head against his chest, letting his arms fully embrace her in the hug she desperately wanted.

"Dad and Henry are somewhere too."

"Oh lord, Dave's seen this?" But Killian laughed as did Emma and they turned over to the top of the beach to see Snow and Henry waving, while Regina and David managed to restrain themselves.

"I made my Dad one more promise, that he's going to hate me for making good on." Killian raised a brow as Emma pulled him back down for another kiss. This time they didn't part until they heard said father's yelling down the beach.

"Alright, alright that's enough already." Emma pulled back and leaned her forehead against Killian's, both of them breathing heavily but smiling widely.

"Still sure you want to marry into all this."

"I've never been more sure of anything that I am of my love for you."

"Good, because I have a couple of promises to make too. I promise to stay through the storms, and fight off the shadows. I promise to cherish each moment that we have together, good and bad. And I promise to always try and make you feel my love, because this thing between us, it's my world too, and I never want to take it for granted, for the rest of my days. I love you, Killian."

"As I love you, Emma." Taking his hand in hers once more, Emma went to face the music that was her family, happier than she could have ever hoped to be.

…..

 _When the rain is blowing in your face  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_

 _When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love_

 _I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
no doubt in my mind were you belong_

 _I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

 _The storms are raging on the rolling sea  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

 _I could make you happy, make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends of the Earth for you  
To make you feel my love_

 _To make you feel my love_

 _ **Post-Note: Just one story update today, but hopefully it's one you guys like. I need more proposal fluff, and this seemed like a way the show might handle it. You know Snow would definitely try to be over involved, and Henry would hatch a plan to help make his mom's proposal awesome. Still it's the simple things with this couple right? Anyways, I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter, and only a few more days until the show comes back. I don't think I can stand it, so I'll just be here, writing more fluff and living in denial!**_


	50. Nobody but You

_**A/N: AU where Emma and Killian have been circling each other for months, neither taking the first step, but when Emma hears that Killian is going out on a first date, she decides to crash it, only to find that Killian never was trying to move on. Inspired by 'Nobody But You' by Gloriana.**_

Emma Swan was well versed in the art of Saturday night hangouts with her friends. She had spent so many weekends in the company of Mary Margaret, Belle, and Ruby, that their all getting together had become second nature to her. Usually though, there was much more fun to be had. Not this weekend though – because this weekend, Emma was pacing back and forth across her living room like an anxious animal. She was going out of her mind a bit, and that was staggering, because Emma was never one to lose her cool, especially over a guy.

"I don't understand, Emma. Why are you so upset? I thought you weren't interested in him, so what does it matter if he's on a date tonight?" If it had been Mary Margaret asking the question, Emma might have believed it was fully sincere, but since it was her hyper perceptive roommate Ruby, Emma knew the questions were rhetorical. Ruby knew that the relationship between Emma Killian (who was their neighbor down the hall, and Mary Margaret's boyfriend's best friend) was a close one, if a little hard to explain. Emma and him were friends, but that friendship was charged with emotions that Emma couldn't fully understand, and wasn't ready to face.

"I don't know why I'm upset. I shouldn't be with anyone, with my history, I'm like a walking hurricane, raining down destruction and chaos."

"Oh, Emma, you know that's not true," Here was Mary Margaret's softer assurances, but somehow they were even more grating than Ruby. Emma was lashing out, she understood that, but right now, she wanted nothing to do with anyone, and she definitely did not want to want Killian Jones.

"I'm serious. I don't know how to have relationships." Well that wasn't entirely true. Emma did know how to have them. She just didn't know how to have healthy ones.

"He's a good guy, Emma. And he's crazy about you. All it takes is one look to know it. You should go to him right now and tell him how you feel." Emma could see that sometimes he looked at her longer, that he always had a smile ready for her, but she couldn't accept that Killian's actions towards her were more than just friendly. She'd thought maybe, a few months back when they'd first met that they might be, but those days were gone.

"Belle, you're very sweet to say that, but you're wrong. Killian and I… we understand each other, but it couldn't be anything beyond friendship. I don't want to be foisting my baggage onto anyone."

"That's a load of bull shit and you know it, Emma." The three friends turned to Ruby who looked downright angry at this point. "You're making excuses because you're scared. Newsflash babe, we're all scared. Love is scary, but you can't be holed up in here pining for a guy who wants you back – who's only going out on this date to try and move on from a woman who gives him no signs that the thing between them will ever go anywhere. You're better than this, Ems. So be better, and stop sitting here wondering what-if. Just go for it."

Emma stared back at Ruby for a long while before shifting her eyes to the door. So many thoughts were rushing through her mind, it was hard to keep track of them all, but the most apparent was that Ruby was right. It was fear holding Emma back right now, and if she didn't tell Killian how she felt, there was a definite possibility Emma would have to live with the wondering forever. Wondering what might have been if she let the light in, and let down her walls just enough to see what could be.

"But he's already on the date. So what do I do?" Mary Margaret's face lit up with a smile.

"They're at Freemont's just a few blocks over."

"You want me to crash his date?" Emma hated the idea of doing that. What about the poor girl he was with? Or worse, what if Killian wasn't actually interested and she made a fool of herself in front of a restaurant full of people?

"We want you to take a risk," Ruby supplemented.

"We want you to follow your heart." Belle's soft, confirming voice, was enough for Emma to believe that either way, whatever happened, she had to do this. Enough waiting around and enough hiding. She had to tell Killian how she felt.

"Okay." With that Emma was grabbing her red leather jacket and heading out the door to the fanfare of her friends, who were rooting her on. The sound of that faded away as she made it out onto the street and was hit with the sounds of the city blaring around her. She crossed the road and made her way down the busy sidewalks trying to get where she needed to be, when suddenly the man she was looking for appeared, walking just before her.

"I thought you were on a date," Emma said as they stopped, still a few feet away from each other.

"It didn't seem honorable to bring a woman to dinner when I'm in love with someone else." Emma could feel the pounding of her heart against her chest, and suddenly the chill in the air was gone, her body heating up from pure adrenaline at a staggering pace. Killian took a step closer, leaving only one more step between them. "Emma, I've been trying to tell you for a while now –"

Before he could finish that thought, Emma pulled him down by the lapel of his jacket for a scorching kiss. It was life affirming, dizzying, and insanely hot, and it made good on the months of chemistry that had been sizzling between them. In that moment, when her lips touched his, she knew that all of the fear and all of the running was pointless. He was already in her heart, and for better or worse, he had the power to break it. When she finally pulled back, she rested her forehead against his for just a moment, and smiled as she watched him laboring for breath. He was just as caught up in the lust between them as she was.

"Sorry, I just… I kind of want to be the person who confesses first." She pulled back to look into his eyes, and saw in them a swirl of hope and what she now had to admit was clearly love. She felt like she'd scoped out a little piece of heaven, being the cause of such emotions from this man, and the truth of his feelings, made her brave enough to keep going. She exhaled the last bit of tension clinging to her and went on. "I love you, Killian, and I have for a long time now. I'm sorry for taking so long to tell you, but honestly, I'm terrified, because you have this power over me. You could hurt me more than anyone else ever has, but I want to take the risk, because I know you're a good man, and I know we'd be good together."

His hand came up to cup her cheek, and Emma let herself inhale and exhale once more. She'd been rushing through her words, caught up in the feelings, and now, with his patience and little show of support, she could calm once more. When he smiled though, well that set the world spinning out of control and the flurry of butterflies within her flapping at full speed. This was the moment – would they or wouldn't they?

"What I was going to say is that I have loved you from the very first moment I looked into your green eyes. You are remarkable, Emma Swan, and as long as I live, I will do my best to never hurt you. But please, make me the same promise love, for without you in my life, it would be like a world without the sun, a night without the stars. It's a life unfit for living, and you've shown me how much better things can be." Emma sighed happily before pulling him down for another kiss, this one a little slower, a little more open to perusal and exploration. It still was filled with fireworks, and had every nerve in her body zinging with pleasure, but it was different. They'd said the words and spoken their truths and now a whole world of possibility stood before them.

"I promise not to run," Emma said when they pulled apart.

"Good, for there will never be another you for me, Emma." Emma went in for another kiss, but remembered that they were outside on a busy Boston street. She wanted more, and she couldn't have it here.

"Take me home, Killian." The heat in his eyes only fueled her own fire, as he took her hand in his and they made their way swiftly back to their apartment building. Once inside, Emma had a moment where she had to decide what to do – did she tell her friends what was happening? Did she shoot them a text?

"Go tell them, love. But if you're not in my arms in five minutes time, I'll come for you." The way his words washed across her skin and seeped into her was heady and exhilarating, but she pressed a soft kiss to his lips once more before smiling at him.

"Maybe I'd like for you to come get me." He growled, an actual guttural sound and it shot through Emma like a lightening bolt of lust. "On second thought, I can't wait five minutes." With that, she quickly made her way to her apartment and walked in, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it.

Belle, Mary Margaret and Ruby were all just where she'd left them, looking at her with a need to know what had happened. When she smiled, there was another loud cheer sounding through her apartment before Emma shushed them all.

"He's going to hear you!"

"Oh honey, he knows us by now, and if he can't handle it, he can't handle you." Emma nodded, knowing that was true and hung up her jacket before reaching for the door again.

"Wait where are you…" Belle's beginning of a question trailed off.

"See you in the morning." Emma shut the door, clearly able to hear how excited Ruby was in particular at Emma getting laid tonight and she shook her head, unable to let the embarrassment of her friend's professions dampen her spirits. This was really happening, and she couldn't believe it. Just as she was about to knock on Killian's door, it swung open and a pair of strong arms pulled her inside. Wrapped up in Killian's warm embrace, Emma felt like the rest of the world was somewhere else, far away. There was only the here and now, and she never wanted this feeling to go away. Maybe, with Killian by her side, it never would.

"This is crazy," Emma whispered, her lips mere inches from Killian's.

"Really? Life has never made more sense to me." The feel of his fingers tracing against her skin had Emma closing the distance between them, her own hands moved around the nape of his neck. For months she'd been wondering what it would be like to kiss him like this, to feel if his hair was as soft as it looked. Lucky for her the reality was so much better than her dreams, and the sparks between them were full blown explosions of pleasure. Too soon he was pulling back, holding her steady and trying to regain control.

"Emma, love, perhaps we should slow things down a bit." She heard in his voice what what he was really saying – perhaps _she_ might want to slow things down.

"We've been going pretty slow for a while now. I'm all in, Killian." The flash in his blue eyes that came then was one of determination.

"I'm glad to hear you say that, love, for I have no intention of letting you go." The gravel in his voice went straight to the yearning already building within her. Gone were any of the worries holding her back before, and left in their place was only certainty. She pulled away, and started removing her clothes, not in a slow seduction, but in a steady, fluid motion, more a dance than a show.

"Christ, Emma, you're gorgeous." She smiled as he ran a hand through his hair, his other on his hip, watching her strip before him.

"This is the part where you get naked too, Jones." As if awakened from a dream, he looked back to her face and mumbled under his breath something that sounded an awful lot like a personal chastisement to _'get it together, Jones.'_ Emma smiled as she watched him try to collect himself, but soon enough, she was the one thrown off kilter, because underneath that V-neck tee was a seriously toned, and almost problematically attractive body that she wanted to jump on.

"The tables seem to have turned, love." He said, with a cocky grin as Emma flashed her now wide eyes back to his. If that was the case, she needed to turn them back, and the best way to do that was to put her hands on him. If the little hum he gave was any indication, she'd managed just fine.

"Sounds like a challenge." He growled before pulling her with him, nearly carrying her to his bedroom, and spreading her out on the bed.

"You know how I feel about challenges, love." God did she ever. He was a competitive guy, it was one of the things they had in common. Still, knowing Killian, any win of his would actually be a win for Emma too. The feel of his hands along her body had Emma craving more attention, more connection. She pulled him down for another kiss, hoping to lure him faster, but he didn't take the bait. "Emma, love, don't deny a man who's been in love as long as I have the night he's been dreaming of. Tonight, I need to take my time with you."

"I don't know if I can survive slow," and the words were true. The energy inside her was crackling, her body buzzing with lust and arousal, and Emma needed some type of release if only to stave off losing her mind.

"I'm an honorable man, love, and a man of honor never fails the woman he loves." He kissed her lips, then down her jaw to her neck. He was already finding pleasure points that should have remained hidden far longer, but Emma couldn't muster surprise. Of course Killian would know her so well even like this.

"I better be the only woman in your arms," Emma said as her last show of bravado before moaning a bit as one of Killian's hands unclasped the front of her bra, exposing her breasts for his perusal. He grinned against her neck.

"I rather like you laying claim to me, love. I'm about to do the same." From there, all thoughts were gone except that Emma wanted more and she wanted it from him. His mouth made its way to her breasts, finally pulling in a nipple and teasing it until she couldn't stop the moan that tore through her.

" _Killian_ ," He moved to the next, wordlessly teasing as one of his hands moved down her body, past the seam of her panties. If Emma had been more aware, she'd have thanked her lucky stars that she'd worn a matching set that looked good today, because she definitely hadn't begun the morning thinking she'd be here. As it was, Emma was so in tune to the brush of his thumb against her clit and the movement of one and then a second finger inside her. It was pure bliss, the way he found that perfect spot, applied just enough pressure…

"I love you, Emma." She hadn't expected the words, maybe she'd been thinking there'd be another cocky comment, or sensual assurances, but this was exactly what she'd needed to push her off the edge into a fantastic climax that was easily the best she'd ever had. That it had come from his hands, and nothing more was indicative that he was about to ruin her for anyone else.

"God that's hot." The flicker of humor that came to his gaze as she said that out loud had Emma smiling too and she wanted to bring him back up for more kisses, but he was taking that gorgeous mouth of his farther down her body.

"Settle in love, for I think you'll rather like this next part too." When he'd stripped her of the last of the fabric between them, and brought her to his mouth, Emma writhed with pleasure, unable to process the full extent of how phenomenal this was. Her whole body was on fire and the sensations springing through her were out of this world as he used his tongue, swirling and sucking on her clit before bringing his fingers to supplement. She couldn't help but crash into another climax under such thorough attentions.

"My name passing through your lips when you come, may just be my favorite sound." Emma laughed at that, trying to regain her breath and pulling her up to him and watched as Killian shook his head. "I stand corrected, it's still your laugh." God he could soften a heart of stone with words like that, and in many ways he had. Emma Swan was no longer a woman who was closed and guarded, now she was a person who wanted love and connection like she'd never wanted anything before.

"As much as I love this whole going slow idea you have, I need you. You've made me need you."

"You have me." Killian said as he came above her, lining up to where she most wanted him to be and slowly sinking into her waiting heat. It was perfect tension, a coiling of pressure and pleasure so sublime it had no comparison. She was so incredibly full, but still he wasn't moving.

"Killian, _please_." That was it, the last straw and suddenly they were moving in perfect rhythm together, climbing towards a mutual release that Emma absolutely had to have. She wanted Killian to feel what she did, because underneath all of the desire there was love. Just as she was at her peak she looked into his eyes and made her own admission. "I love you, Killian."

His guttural response as the both of them fell into bliss echoed around them in the room. It took a moment to return to herself, after such satisfaction, but when she did, she still felt the glow of happiness clinging close. Killian loved her, he was here, and he was hers.

"Stay tonight," Killian pleaded and Emma moved closer, burrowing further into his embrace before placing a soft kiss on his jaw.

"Whatever you want." The way his arms tightened around her made her feel safe and secure.

"Stay forever." The intensity of his gaze told her he meant it, and for that she was immensely grateful.

"That works too." And stay she did, for they had both found a forever kind of love neither of them would ever want to let go of.

…

 _Going out of my mind again tonight_ _  
_ _Looking for a little light to shine_ _  
_ _And there you are_ _  
_ _A midnight moon, a new sunrise_ _  
_ _Can't hide heaven in your eyes_ _  
_ _Oh, I saw from the star_

 _No, nobody but you_ _  
_ _Baby, no one else can hurt me like you do_ _  
_ _No, with every kiss I believe_ _  
_ _There can never, ever be another you for me_ _  
_ _No, no_

 _Steal my soul, steal my kiss_ _  
_ _Rock and roll, I can't resist_ _  
_ _No, I just wanna dance with you_ _  
_ _Take my hand, blow my mind_ _  
_ _Do it to me every time_ _  
_ _No, and not a moment to soon_

 _No, nobody but you_ _  
_ _Baby, no one else can hurt me like you do_ _  
_ _No, with every kiss I believe_ _  
_ _There can never, ever be another you for me_ _  
_ _No, no_

 _Going out of my mind again tonight_ _  
_ _Looking for a little light to shine_ _  
_ _And there you are_

 _No, nobody but you_ _  
_ _Baby, no one else can hurt me like you do_ _  
_ _No, with every kiss I believe_ _  
_ _There can never, ever be another you for me_ _  
_ _No, no, no_ _  
_ _No, no_

 _ **Post-Note: This was a last minute fluffy post for the day. Life definitely got in the way of my writing process this fine Saturday, but I am happy to have gotten it out and hope you all enjoyed! Thanks for reading!**_


	51. Holding the Other

_**A/N: Why is it IMPOSSIBLE to have multiple ships for OUAT? Never in my life have I watched a show do this – there are never moments when they can all be okay (and I really only like three of the main four couples, so it shouldn't be that hard!). Needless to say I couldn't stop crying at last night's episode and have decided to make a CS fluff fic about holding hands that spirals into an afternoon hook up because post-5B cuteness is a must, and I am surrounding myself with nothing but fluff and angst-less true love adorableness. If that sounds agreeable to you, read on and hopefully enjoy. Inspired by 'Holding the Other' by Lauren Alaina. Rated M.**_

It's not that they never held hands before their stint with darkness and death, because of course they had, but since all the dust had cleared, and the worry had settled a bit, Emma was noticing more and more that her first instinct was to take Killian's hand in hers. It gave her this subtle charge of strength, and made her feel like nothing in the world was too big to conquer. As long as they had each other, they were unstoppable.

"I'll never tire of seeing that happy light in your eyes, love." Emma looked into Killian's clear blue eyes and she melted a bit into the love and warmth there. He'd really bounced back from their stint in the Underworld, far faster than Emma had even, and it had been his constant affirmations and the light in his eyes that had brought Emma her eventual peace. Only the feel of his hand in hers, and that lopsided smile could bring her back from the guilt and the sorrow she'd been wading in, and every time his fingers intertwined with her it reminded her that they were here, together, and gloriously alive.

"It's crazy that we're finally here." Killian's eyebrow raised in that form of questioning that often came from her true love and Emma smiled. She didn't mean _here_ -here as in across the street from Granny's so she clarified. "I mean that we're happy, you know. We've been fighting so long for the chance to have our happily ever after it's strange to just be."

"Aye, having more than a mere moment has been a change of pace for us, but I dare say we've earned it, love." She couldn't possibly argue with that, and as they walked into Granny's for their daily lunch, Emma noted that the rest of the town seemed to be similarly enjoying the new found calm. When there was no one declaring war, or trying to take them all down, life was pretty charmed indeed. One might even say, fairytale-esque.

"The usual?" Granny asked as she approached Emma and Killian to take their orders. It was less a question and more a statement that the two of them had only seconds to contradict if they wanted something different, but neither did. When the woman was gone once more, Emma leaned against the counter to face him, making sure the hold on his hand never waivered.

"You know if you keep smiling so much, people are going to talk." Killian moved closer, encroaching past where their place in public allowed decently, and when he was inches from her lips, his grin grew wider.

"People always talk in this town, love, but if smiles are the topic of discussion, they won't be mine they'll be speaking of. I've never seen you this happy, and I doubt any of our nosey neighbors have either." Emma considered that fact, her own smile manifesting at his words.

"You know, I don't think anyone's ever seen me like this, because I've never been this happy. Wonder what's changed." Her playful tone drew an intensity from him that had the laughter catching in her throat.

"You know perfectly well why you're so happy love, but if you like I could illuminate the pros of being my true love a few more times for you." The way he said the words made Emma think of sex, sex, and more sex, and if it wouldn't have been the most obvious thing in the world, she might have started fanning herself to cool off. Instead she kissed him lightly and pulled back, a show of conceding her playful point.

"I remember them vividly. No need to get ourselves arrested for public indecency, especially when my Dad is a sheriff." Bringing up her father seemed to be enough to rein Killian in at least to a point, but they stayed connected still as Granny brought them their food and bid them adieu.

Back out in the world once more, the tides turned yet again, as Killian drew Emma into the alley between Granny's and the other store fronts. He kissed her, demanding enough that Emma forgot where they were, giving in totally, and dropping their take out bag to the ground, really not caring. When they pulled back, they were both laboring for breath and their foreheads rested against each other.

"Still in public, babe." His smile ticked up at the endearment.

"Less public though. Sure our offense would be less severe." Emma had to agree at that, but it was a sweet gesture, the mere raising of their hands until Killian could bestow a gentle kiss across her knuckles that had Emma's desire for him boiling over.

"Okay, you win." With a flick of her wrist, Emma Killian and the bag of food was _poofed_ back to their house but the latter was soon forgotten as Emma stripped out of her jacket and made to take his off too.

"What about lunch, love?" Killian teased and Emma groaned aloud, rolling her eyes at him as she stripped off more of her clothes.

"Oh no you don't, Captain Innuendo. You don't get to start things you don't intend to finish. Time to put your money where your mouth is." She knew in a couple of moments, his mind would catch up, but she had to admit, this was one of her favorite things. Every time they seemed to get naked there was always a point where the man's mind went blank, and a cartoon version would have had it's tongue hanging out. It was definitely a boost to her ego, but she knew, soon enough, her charming, roguish pirate would return with the hot and heavy means of seduction he loved to use.

"I rather think you'd like my mouth put in other places, love." And there he was, just as frenzy inducing as always. Emma felt her heart thumping louder, the hum of attraction rushing through her. The force between them was like gravity, and all she wanted to do was rush him, giving into the feel of his hand, but Emma rather liked the bit of banter they had in the bedroom, or technically right now in the kitchen. It was sex imitating life, or something like that.

"Well if we're talking about preferences, we could always recreate that part about last night that you liked so much." The flame in his eyes was inescapable at the mention of their past deeds, and in seconds he was on her, tearing more then opening the buttons of her shirt and revealing more of her skin to him. All it took was the faintest of touches to have pleasure zinging through Emma. Every graze, every caress was a promise of how good this man could make her feel, how fantastically whole she became only with him.

"Perhaps another time, love, for I have a very vivid imagining of what I'd like to do to you right now, and I guarantee you'll be satisfied." Through some well-led efforts on his part, the two of them were stripped of their remaining clothing, until nothing was between them but their uncontrollable need for each other. With his hand on her, pushing her up to sit on the table, and his mouth trailing kisses across her body, Emma could barely stand the fantastic friction and tension coiling in her body.

"If that imagination of yours is telling you that this is a time for slow teasing, think again." The vibration of his laughter against the hollow of her throat only set her pulse off more, and her hands were trying to force him closer, to pull him into this fever of desire, but he held back, nipping slightly at the pulse point on her neck before pulling back.

"Perhaps we could make a trade, love. Something I want for something you want." Emma groaned.

"Of course you're trying to barter with me right now. That's like pirate 101 right? Fine, what do you want?" His grin and the feel of his hand as it traced just beneath her breast, had Emma's voice far breathier than she'd anticipated. She was losing any of the control over this that she'd had fast.

"Some habits from my old life have stuck, love. Now, what I want, is you screaming my name over and over as you come. I'll need to hear it three times before I give you the good fuck you're so desperate for." A shiver of anticipation ran through her, and the heat that surged as he cursed and threw dirty talk her way had Emma desperate enough to agree to anything, never mind something that was destined to work in her favor.

"Deal." No sooner had the words passed her lips then Emma was caught in the meticulous lovemaking Killian had so fantastically perfected. With just the right attentions to her breasts and her sex with hand, and hook and mouth, he was able to get those climaxes from her with ease, and Emma might have been frustrated at the cocky pride in his big blue eyes if she hadn't been so god damn satisfied with his work. Besides, no one wore self-assuredness as well as her true love. It really only added to the sexy roguish element he was so often rocking.

"You know, I'm not entirely sure how this was a fair trade. Seems I'm the one reaping the most reward here." Killian kissed her then, far less demanding or raw or sensual than Emma would have expected. All she felt was love and light and a secure sort of happiness. When he pulled back, his hand came to cup her cheek.

"Trust me, Swan, I'm just as much the winner here as you are. Now, as for the deal… I think it's time I made good on my promise." With a single thrust he was in her fully and she was already tightening around his hard length, hungry for just one more of those magnificent moments on this fine afternoon. He of course, as a man of honor, made good on his word and with a rhythm that was designed for hard and fast, he got them both to the point they were desperately seeking and into the blissful beyond. When they were both spent, though, Emma immediately sought out his hand, intertwining her fingers with his and bringing them up so she could graze a kiss against his knuckles just as he had before.

"I love you." He smiled at that.

"I love you too, Emma." Emma shook her head, trying to convey that even those words weren't enough.

"When I hold your hand like this, it's like every bad thing in the world is powerless against us. We can win any war, we can face any storm, as long as we do it together. You put me back together and I will never be able to thank you for that. So know that when I say I love you, what I'm really saying is that you are my strength and my remedy and that no matter what, I won't ever stop needing you." Killian kissed her lightly once more, resting his forehead against hers as his fingers tightened on hers and his other arm came around to pull her close.

"My hand is yours to hold, Emma. Always." And it was, for there was never a moment when Killian and Emma faced a test that their love couldn't overcome. Even in their darkest hours, even when the blaze of chaos seemed too strong, they never waivered. As long as they stayed together anything was possible. As long as they chose to love and be loved, they were certain that more of their happily ever after was still to come.

…

 _It's a battleground_ _  
_ _Everywhere you go, there's something trying to take you down_ _  
_ _So hard to stand up when they're kicking you around_ _  
_ _Putting your fire out_ _  
_ _Putting it out_ _  
_ _Hey, hey_ __

 _But I'm not scared and I'm not shaking_ _  
_ _Yeah, I've got armor and they can't break it_ __

 _Cause you kiss me back together when I'm falling apart_ _  
_ _When the music's gone, I'm dancing to the beat of your heart_ _  
_ _You're the breath in my lungs when the gravity's pulling me under_ _  
_ _I could win any war_ _  
_ _I could face any storm_ _  
_ _Yeah, I could conquer the world_ _  
_ _With just one hand_ _  
_ _As long as you're holding the other_ __

 _Saving grace_ _  
_ _Baby, you're the hope I find behind my mistakes_ _  
_ _Hold me close and I'll forget about the pain_ _  
_ _You take it all away_ _  
_ _You take it away_ _  
_ _Yes, you do_ __

 _So I'm not scared of what tomorrow brings_ _  
_ _Cause you're right here and I can do anything_ __

 _Cause you kiss me back together when I'm falling apart_ _  
_ _When the music's gone, I'm dancing to the beat of your heart_ _  
_ _You're the breath in my lungs when the gravity's pulling me under_ _  
_ _Oh, I could win any war_ _  
_ _I could face any storm_ _  
_ _Yeah, I could conquer the world_ _  
_ _With just one hand_ _  
_ _As long as you're holding the other_ _  
_ _Holding the other_ __

 _I can do anything_ _  
_ _Anything, oh_ __

 _Cause you kiss me back together when I'm falling apart_ _  
_ _Apart, apart_ _  
_ _Oh, I could win any war_ _  
_ _And I could face any storm_ _  
_ _Yeah, I could conquer the world_ _  
_ _Conquer the world, conquer the world, conquer the world_ _  
_ _Cause you kiss me back together when I'm falling apart_ _  
_ _When the music's gone, I'm dancing to the beat of your heart_ _  
_ _You're the breath in my lungs when the gravity's pulling me under_ _  
_ _Oh, I could win any war_ _  
_ _And I could face any storm_ _  
_ _Yeah, I could conquer the world_ _  
_ _With just one hand_ _  
_ _As long as you're holding the other_ _  
_ _Holding the other_

 _ **Post-Note: Alright, there we have it, today's little chunk of cute. I hope you guys enjoyed this little drabble, that you're surviving this Monday, and that you have a wonderful week! Thanks for reading, and as always, feel free to send some song ideas for the mix-tape! Prompts and comments are always welcome!**_


	52. Best of My Love

_**A/N: Cute little fluffy moment with Emma and Killian in a happy, post 5-B place. It's just them getting ready in the morning, making breakfast and coffee and getting ready for another day. That cuteness of course evolves into a proposal, because I NEED IT. I don't care if we just got the true love status, I am greedy, and I write to feed the beast within me. Inspired by 'Best of My Love' by the Emotions.**_

Morning people – that is what Emma and Killian had become in the weeks since all of the Underworld craziness, and Emma couldn't really make out how. For years, it had taken three cups of coffee and a whole heck of a lot of will power to greet the day. Now, though, she was waking up every morning to a smiling Killian, usually bestowing a special sort of inducement for her to wake up. Okay, so maybe she knew why she was a morning person now. It was the fact that she was waking up next to her true love every day and he was fantastic at rewarding her newfound early bird tendencies.

Said rewards, lovely and brilliant as they were though, meant that she had to rush through some of her older morning routines. Like now, when she was hurrying through a shower so she'd make her shift at the station on time. In a flurry of motion, she managed to get changed, and throw her hair back in a hair tie, but the rush was less about being punctual, and more about what would be waiting for her downstairs. Barreling into the kitchen, she found the happy sight that was becoming the new normal.

"Eggs today, love?" Killian asked as he worked over the stove to make breakfast, and Emma came around to hug him from behind, nodding into his back with a smile.

"Yes, please. Coffee?"

"Already 'on the pot.'" Emma laughed at that and kissed him on the cheek, grabbing two mugs from the cabinet and making their coffee just so. Killian, unsurprisingly from years on the ocean, took his black, while Emma lightened hers, giving it a little sweetness. While he prepped their plates and she brought their coffee, the radio played in the background, a classic song from the disco era, a serious change from their usual fare, but somehow fitting and perfect for the aura of light and love in their own private little bubble.

"Busy day ahead?" He asked as he pulled out her seat for her and tucked it back in when she was seated. The gentlemanly gesture had her heart fluttering as he took his own seat beside her.

"Hope not. Busy usually means trouble, and I've given up on trouble." Killian's laughter as he raised his coffee to his lips sent that same hum of joy coursing through Emma as she indulged in her own drink. These quiet moments were what she'd been hoping and praying for during their separation. Now they had them, and they were even better than she could have imagined.

"Trouble will be back again, love, but rest assured we'll weather the storm." She reached out and put her hand just above his hook, rubbing her thumb across it lightly. She loved that this man who for centuries had been like her, closed off and hurting, an enemy of love by all standards, was now the optimist. He had faith and was choosing love, just like she was. Maybe it was sappy to think so highly of that, but she didn't care. Everyone she loved was safe and happy and whole. She'd see Henry after his night at Regina's very soon, see her father and likely her mother and brother at the station and was with Killian now. She had her family, and through them, she had a firm belief in herself.

"Yeah, you're probably right. But until then, we can pretend right?" He nodded, brushing a gentle kiss across her lips.

"Aye, love, if that's what you'd like." Emma smiled at his eagerness to make her happy. They finished eating, and both got up to clean away their plates when Emma realized, that there was no point in waiting. She'd been wanting to talk to Killian about a next step for a while now, and here, now, in one of their little moments, seemed as right a time as any.

"I was also thinking of something else we could do in this new found peace." She was delivering this next part so subtly she wasn't surprised that Killian seemed unfazed. "I was thinking you should marry me." The plate Killian had been carrying to the sink, crashed a little harder than he'd likely intended as he dropped it with a clang. Turning swiftly, Killian looked at Emma to see if she was serious.

"Come again, love?"

"Marry me, Killian. Because you don't just make me happy, you make everything else in my life make sense. You've opened me up, and honestly, I just want to shout it from the rooftops that you're mine and I'm yours." The smile that came to his face was one she'd only seen the likes of a few times before, but it still took her breath away. There was no aura of mystery around this, clearly he was in favor of the idea, but still he surprised her, moving towards her for only a brief kiss before removing himself and stepping into the living room. "Really? You're going to leave me hanging after that?"

"Patience, love." When he returned he was carrying with him a small black box, and suddenly it occurred to Emma that by asking him this way, she'd almost denied herself the scene that was unfolding before her. Bending down on one knee, Killian opened the ring box up to reveal a gorgeous piece with a beautiful yellow diamond in the middle. It was spectacular and worthy of a pirate captain and his princess.

"Emma, in typical fashion, you have moved me to action. When we met, I was nothing more than a man with a mission, one of darkness and anger and vengeance. For years I roamed the world, believing that there could never be another chance at love in my life. Then you came, and you turned the world upside down, leaving only beauty in its wake. I love you more than anything. In your smile, in your laughter, and in your arms I find my home. You are the best part of me, and what I offer you now is the best of my love in return. Emma Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Tears stung in her eyes, unshed but inevitable as Emma nodded. The way her throat was closed with emotion made her 'yes' sound shaky and squeaky at the same time but it was enough. In a moment he was on his feet, standing before her putting that ring on her finger and pulling her in for a kiss so surreal, and so magnificent, Emma couldn't help but lose herself completely. When finally they parted, breathing heavy, smiles plastered to their faces, foreheads touching so as not to move away from each other, Emma spoke once more.

"How long have you been carrying this question around?" The teasing she was able to muster was impressive, for she was still awash in excitement and a new surging of lust.

"The ring I've had since we faced the Queens of Darkness. The question, I've been carrying since Neverland." Emma's heart thudded at the admission and wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair, trying to ground herself in the moment. She closed her eyes and expelled a breath.

"Thank you." She could feel his brow furrow against hers in confusion, not needing to open her eyes to see his impending question.

"For what, love?"

"For waiting me out. For standing by me, even when I pushed away and tried to run. We're only here because you had hope, and because you were brave." His hand came to cup her cheek as he pulled back. She opened her eyes and saw in his cerulean depths that what he was about to say was sincere.

"If I was brave, it's only because you made me that way. It's only because with you I could dare to dream of a life worth living. Now, though, it's you who is the brave one love." She kissed him once more.

"Maybe we can both be brave." He nodded and took her hand in his. "Besides, we're about to see my parents, and telling them the good news is going to require bravery." Emma expected a comment, or a look or something to give away a sense of worry from Killian, but none came.

"Don't fret, love, I told them both and Henry my intentions the day I returned. They've all actually been wondering what the hold up is." Emma gaped at him, shocked that this was the case. As she came to terms with the news, Killian grabbed their jackets, helping Emma put hers on as they got ready for their walk to the station.

"They know?"

"Aye, love."

"So why did you wait so long?" She asked now staring into the beauty of a picturesque Storybrooke day.

"I was looking for my moment, and you gave me a perfect one." She scoffed at that, until Killian's hand on hers tightened. She looked up to his profile as he maneuvered their way through the Storybrooke streets. "I once told your father that anything that happened between us would be just as much up to you as it was to me. That was true, even for a proposal. I wanted you all in, Emma, and you are."

"Yeah I am. No getting rid of me now, Captain." He pulled her close and kissed the crown of her head.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Swan."

Telling her family that they were engaged went exactly as she'd expected. There were happy tears from her mother, a feigned gruffness that quickly melted into acceptance from her father, and a boyish excitement from Henry.

"She totally ruined it didn't she?" Henry asked in jest when they made the announcement.

"Hey!" Emma replied shoving lightly at her sons arm.

"Just kidding. I'm happy for you guys, you've been through enough for five true love stories. I think you've earned this." Emma smiled, her eyes getting a little misty herself at her sons wonderful open heart to extending their family.

"I rather agree with you, lad," Killian said.

"The bail bonds person and the pirate. Doesn't really have the best ring to it, does it?" Regina asked, inciting Snow to roll her eyes.

"For goodness sake, she's a princess, as you well know. And I happen to know many a happy ending that began with a pirate and a princess." Emma didn't push that there couldn't really be that many of them, instead she listened to the quiet whisper Killian spared only for her.

"That may be, but ours is the best." Emma smiled and whispered back.

"Damn right." The flash of surprise and heat in his gaze at her curse had Emma smiling once more. "Hold that thought for another quiet moment." And he did indeed, making the most of that happy tension between them later when they were once again alone and free to just be.

Trouble did eventually come knocking again, but when it did, Emma and Killian faced it as partners. They never again let the threat of darkness keep them from living in the now, and they didn't let fear overrule the dreams they had for their lives together. They brought out the best in each other to make a wonderful life, worthy of any happily ever after.

….

 _Doesn't take much to make me happy_ _  
_ _And make me smile with glee_ _  
_ _Never, never will I feel discouraged_ _  
_ _'Cause our love's no mystery_ __

 _Demonstrating love and affection_ _  
_ _That you give so openly, yeah_ _  
_ _I like the way ya make me feel about you, baby_ _  
_ _Want the whole wide world to see_ __

 _Whoa whoa, you got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Whoa whoa, you got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Whoa whoa, you got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Whoa whoa, you've got the best of my love_ __

 _Going in and out of changes_ _  
_ _The kind that come around each day_ _  
_ _My life has a better meaning_ _  
_ _Love has kissed me in a beautiful way_ __

 _My love, my love, my love, my love_ _  
_ _Ooh, oh oh oh oh oh_ __

 _Oh, got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Whoa whoa, you've got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Whoa whoa, you've got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Whoa whoa, you've got the best of my love_ __

 _Demonstrating sweet love and affection_ _  
_ _That you give so openly, yeah_ _  
_ _The way I feel about ya, baby can't explain it_ _  
_ _Want the whole wide world to see_ __

 _Oh, but in my heart, you're all I need_ _  
_ _You for me, me for you_ _  
_ _Oh, it's growin' every day, ooh_ __

 _Oh, oh oh oh oh oh_ _  
_ _You've got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Oh, oh oh oh oh oh_ _  
_ _You've got the best of my love_ __

 _Oh, givin' you the best of my love_ _  
_ _Oh, givin' you the best of my love_ _  
_ _Oh, oh oh oh oh oh_ _  
_ _You've got the best of my love_ __

 _Oh, oh oh oh oh oh_ _  
_ _You've got the best of my love_ _  
_ _Oh, givin' you the best of my love_ _  
_ _Oh, givin' you the best of my love_ _  
_

 _ **Post-Note: Two stories in one day? Absolutely. I finished another story (Hope Springs) today, and in the aftermath of writing it's epilogue, I needed another outlet for some CS proposal fluff. I have loved this song since I was a really little kid, as my mom is a big disco and classic R &B fan, and have been waiting to find a way to incorporate it into the mixtape for sometime. Hope you guys enjoyed, and as always, thanks for reading!**_


	53. Wasn't Expecting That

_**A/N: This addition to the Mixtape tracks an afternoon from Killian's POV, post-Underworld. He reminisces about four times Emma has surprised him and it is, as to be excepted, extremely fluffy and adorable. This song was prompted for the series by a follower and is called 'Wasn't Expecting That' by Jamie Lawson. Great song, but the end is kind of sad SO for my CS babies we are excluding that portion. Hope you guys all enjoy, and as always, thanks for reading!**_

Loving Emma Swan was an education in surprise - this much Killian was sure of. Since their first meeting, the woman had been an undeniable force of strength, determination and sarcasm. But even when all of her walls were up, even when her heart was hardened to the outside world, she help a power over Killian that he could have never expected. One day his life was a thing of darkness and vengeance and greed, until suddenly it wasn't. Where those dark pieces fell away, light and hope with green eyes and golden hair remained and now, more than a few years later, his life was one worth living again. He had found love, and a second chance and more than that he had found his home and his family.

Still, nearly every memory with Emma remained seared in his mind. Clear as day, awash in vivid color, the moments where they'd had every first, and every twist and turn in their story were there, and nearly all of them were images he never planned to let go.

Like their first kiss, when she'd allowed herself just a fleeting instance of teasing and it had morphed into the start of his redemption. Killian remembered that the forest was dense and muggy and truly oppressive in that Neverland way. He recalled how David gave a toast, even if he was keeping the whole truth from his family which made Killian uneasy. But the best thing to come were her words, Emma's playful tone and the way a smile somewhat toyed at her lips. She was in the midst of one of her life's biggest struggles, saving her son in a strange land, but she had still been remarkable.

" _Did you really save his life?" She asked, still a ways away from him, not skeptical, but taken slightly aback._

" _Does that surprise you?" He replied with a bit more edge in his voice than he would have liked. Even then he hated to keep anything from his Swan, but she didn't seen through him, not then at least._

" _Well you and David aren't exactly…how do you say it, mates." She did a terrible impression of him, for truly all of her impressions of his accent were pretty awful, but in her eyes, he didn't seen the fear and the anxiety and the pressing need to keep moving. She was softening, she was lightening up, and it had been all Killian could do to keep his breathing steady._

" _Doesn't mean I'd leave your father to perish on this island."_

" _Thank you." Her sincerity rang out so strong that he had to look away. Her green eyes could see through the façade he'd so desperately been trying to keep in place, and he was Killian Jones, a centuries old pirate captain, feared by many, loved by none. He didn't want her to see that he was so fond of her, but he was giving himself away left and right. So he fell back on a trusted companion, humor and over the top charm._

" _Um…well perhaps gratitude is in order now." When she'd gone along with it, instead of rolling her eyes and walking away, he hadn't known what to do or what to say, but damn if he was going to look away from the smile that came to her lips and the fire in her eyes._

" _Yeah. That's what the 'thank you' was for."_

" _Is that all your father's life is worth to you?" He stepped forward, until they were mere inches apart, but she stood her ground, assessing him in full as she took him down a peg with her words._

" _Please, you couldn't handle it."_

" _Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it." He fully expected her to turn away, to leave him, innuendo and all, in the jungle. That was what was supposed to happen, but instead, she'd pulled him close, crushing her lips against his in a demanding kiss that more than proved him wrong. He couldn't handle all of the emotions that surged through him, all the pleasure that coursed through his veins at the feel of her skin on his, but in a blink it was over. She was pulling back once more, relegating him to his position as assisting pirate and separating them once again. He'd run his fingers across his lips, just to try and keep the feel of her there in place. He'd memorized every detail, and hoped beyond all cause or sense that it wouldn't be a one-time thing like she'd said._

"Killian, are you sure you're all right here?" Snow's voice cut through the remembrance and brought him back to the here and now, where he stood in the kitchen of his and Emma's house. He nodded, resolute in the knowledge that he was more than all right here.

"We're all set, love. When Emma wakes I'll let her know you were here." That seemed to calm Snow enough for her to gather Neal and the little Prince's things and head out on her way. Now alone once more, Killian set out to get some of the mess and disarray cleared up before Emma awoke. Things had been rather busy here the past few days, and the last thing he wanted was his true love to wake and find their home in near shambles. Besides the act of cleaning let him fall into another memory, one perhaps more surprising than the kiss.

 _She walked into Granny's with purpose and resolve so strong, he had only believed it could be on matters of business. So when the bell above the diner's doors chimed, and he looked up from his darts for just a moment, a weary sort of misunderstanding had washed over him. There was never a quiet moment like he hoped for in this town, and when there was, Emma seemed too scared still to take them. Surely something was going wrong with their new town villain._

" _The Snow Queen turn up? Did I miss the search party?"_

" _Oh, nothing to miss. There's no sign of that ice witch yet." Her voice was almost awkward, as if charged with some foreign sense of doubt that Killian couldn't place, so he'd believe it was just her own insecurity about her ability as savior. Attempting to reinforce her worth and ability he replied with a few more words._

" _That's all right, Swan. You'll find her."_

" _Yeah I know. Uh, that's not why I'm here."_

" _Then why are you here?" She paused, looking away before finding the courage to continue. When she spoke again, her words were coming so quickly, they were almost impossible to catch._

" _Well, I thought about what you said last night about being a survivor, and you're right."_

" _It's like I said, love, you don't have to worry about me." He turned back to the darts, attempting to conceal how much it meant that she'd been thinking about him and his words, but then she dropped the biggest part of her verbal meanderings._

" _Good because I'm here to ask you out." Like a half-wit fool he'd thrown the dart, hitting the far wall with a loud_ thunk _, his heart pounding and mind racing, but he had only seconds to compose himself. "To dinner or something."_

" _Shouldn't I be the one asking you out?"_

" _I should have known you'd be old-fashioned given your age – what are you like three hundred?" Gods she was the best woman in all the realms, the way she smiled and used this joke to lighten the mood. He was ill equipped to handle this fantastic turn of events without it, but her lightness gave him a means to accept without appearing ridiculous._

" _Curses and Neverland may have given me experience. But as you can see, I've retained my youthful glow." She scoffed and gave him that eye roll he'd come to adore and now, finally, he could speak normally. "I happily accept on one condition – you let me plan the evening."_

" _I know how to plan a date!" The slight insult in her tone soothed any lingering turmoil inside him, for it meant she was comfortable enough to just be Emma with him._

" _You know how to chase a monster. I know how to plan an evening out."_

" _Well I don't pillage and plunder on the first date, just so you know." Gods those words had damn near driven him to lust induced insanity, but he somehow, through the grace of whatever magical entity lay beyond this life, managed to channel that heat and desire into words that transferred the feelings to Emma._

" _Well, that's because you haven't been out with me yet." There was no denying the blush that came to her cheeks and the smile that she gave in response. If he was to take her hand, he knew her pulse would be speeding just as his was. "See you tonight."_

The front door to the house banged open and in stepped Henry, fresh from his day at school and looking a little discombobulated. His brown hair had gotten just a tad too long, and from the blustering winds outside was now thrown out of place. He was huffing his breath, as if he'd run the entire way home, but there wasn't any sense of real worry in the lad's features. If anything, he took one look at Killian and sighed in relief.

"Oh good, you're here. Where's Mom?" Killian nodded upstairs.

"She's asleep for the moment, lad. Is everything all right?" Henry nodded, and dropped his bag by the sofa before stepping towards Killian.

"Tomorrow is Mom and your anniversary, and I just didn't know… do I get you guys something? Or is this like something you give someone a card for? You're my first step-dad, so I don't really know how this works." Killian smiled, glad the boy's fixation wasn't on a more pressing issue, though truth be told, Killian was somewhat at a loss. He may not be brand new to this realm anymore, but he certainly was no expert.

"You know, I'm not exactly sure, but I do know that your mother made a point of wishing your grandparents well. She might have made a card come to think of it. But as for me, there's no need to consider my feelings on the day, lad. Your acceptance of the way things are now, each and every day is gift enough." Henry smiled but then shook his head.

"You and Mom both went really soft with the whole true love, marriage and a family thing. You know that right?" Killian nodded, patting Henry on the shoulder.

"Trust me lad, there are far worse fates in life than finding the person you were meant to be with and securing a home and a family in the process." Henry considered that statement before inspiration seemed to strike.

"Thanks, Killian, I think I know exactly what to do for Mom tomorrow!" With that Henry scurried up the stairs, luckily with limited noise as Emma was sleeping, and Killian was left on his own yet again. He moved through the living room and picked up one of the many photos distributed through the space, this one with him and Emma on their wedding day. While that moment in time had come with very limited surprise, their engagement could not be categorized as such, and as he ran his fingers over the way the light hit them both, smiling and incandescently happy, he remembered just how that engagement came to be.

 _Laying with Emma in his arms one night, not long after his return from the Underworld, Killian could feel the unspoken power that flooded this home and this space. Whether Emma was aware of it or not, she was protecting them, filling their bedroom with hope and love so strong that Killian was certain nothing could touch them here. He absently traced a swirling pattern along the bare skin of her back and smiled at the contented sigh she let pass her lips at the feeling._

" _I never feel safer than I do when I'm in your arms." Her words filled his chest with pride. It did his heart well to know that Emma trusted him. Even knowing that the love between them was true, Killian was certain that he would never stop feeling so much when she made these little confessions. For so long he tried to get her to open up to him. He'd been patient for a very long time, and doubting that it would ever happen all the while, so now, each and every profession seemed like a gift._

" _And I never have my purpose without you by my side Emma." Her hand came to his cheek, her fingers tracing the line where skin met the stubble of his beard, and her green eyes were so focused on his blue ones that he felt invincible. There were no secrets between them and they were both free from darkness and baggage as long as they had their love._

" _Sometimes… Sometimes I think about how we almost never happened. I wasn't expecting a pirate captain to wiggle his way past my defenses." He grinned, intertwining his fingers with hers, and pulling her hand to his lips to brush a kiss there._

" _Just as I was not expecting a princess warrior to light up my world with merely a smile." Emma moved closer to him, snuggling closer._

" _You broke down all my thoughts on love and you built them back up. I thought love was toxic, I thought it was never meant to last. Even looking at my parents, who pretty much wrote the book, I had doubt. I saw all the things that went wrong and I didn't understand how worth it all of those bad moments are just to have the good ones." Killian was going to reply, but Emma placed a finger on his lips to keep him quiet. "No no no. If you open that mouth again, you'll distract me with perfect words and I need to say this. I love you, Killian. I love you so much that life without you isn't an option. In your smile and in your eyes, I see all the promise I need that you're never going to hurt me, and never going to leave." Here he had to interrupt._

" _Nothing could ever take me away, love. We're done with the separations." She smiled at that._

" _See, there are those words again. But that's one of the things I love about you. You make me see you, make me hear you, make me love you, and still I have a choice. Love hasn't made me weak, it hasn't taken my power. It's made me stronger, made us stronger, and now I want to make sure the whole world knows that you're mine and I'm yours. So Killian, will you marry me?" He'd stilled at the words, completely and utterly shocked but all it took was one second for him to reply._

" _Isn't it I who should be asking you to marry me?"_

" _Killian," she pleaded, not wanting their usual humor. He kissed her passionately, distracting her for jut a moment and when he pulled back, placing his forehead against hers he replied happily._

" _Yes, Emma, I will marry you. But, don't think that since you asked I'm not giving you a ring, for I already have one." She looked at him with wonder and surprise in her own eyes._

" _You do?"_

" _Aye love, even before we passed all those tests from the Gods, I knew you were the only one for me." She kissed him again, and soon the kiss turned into more. They'd married only a few weeks later, not wanting to wait, on a gorgeous day in late spring, and all the while he'd been consumed with thoughts of Emma. She was his savior and his salvation, and by the most amazing magic conceivable, she was his._

The monitor that Killian had kept close all afternoon sounded, and through the little bit of static came a soft cry. Instantly, Killian headed up the stairs into the nursery where he found his daughter Leia. They'd only just brought her home two days ago, but Killian couldn't imagine his life without her. She was so small and so precious, that Killian took extra special care with her, protective almost to a fault of his new little princess. Very few things in his life felt as wonderful as when the little angel looked into his eyes and seemed to calm from her fussing. It was matched only by the smile of her mother, and the certainty that sometimes came when Killian knew their whole family was safe and together.

"There, there my little one. It's all right." Leia was quiet once more as Killian made his way to sit in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. This chair was the closest he would get for some time to showing his daughter the motion of the sea, but it always seemed to keep her happy, and Killian liked to think she would one day be as good a sailor as he was. Holding his Leia, Killian allowed himself to slip into one last memory from six months ago when Emma had told him she was pregnant. It had changed his life forever, as most of his moments with Emma did, and just as those other moments were, it was perfect.

" _Emma, love, you can't go into the station. You've been sick all morning. Surely your father can handle it, and if he needs a second, I can fill in. Let me just call your mother and she can be here to help with you and with Henry and-"Killian felt like he was losing his mind, but he had no power to make things better right now. All he could do was protect her from herself, and surely going to work would make her sickness worse. She needed rest, but she was too stubborn to take it._

" _Killian, we need to get used to me being sick like this for a little while." Killian bristled at the thought. No he most certainly was not going to get used to his wife's being in pain. If this lasted any longer, they'd go to the hospital, have her checked out by Whale and figure out how to stop this. "I can see the defiance in your eyes, but there's no fighting this off. It's not some big bad monster. It is actually good news."_

 _Killian watched as Emma's eyes filled with tears, that appeared to be happy, but hell if he could understand why her being so ill would ever make her happy. He reached his hand to rub along her back and tried to search her features for a hint of what was going on._

" _Swan, what aren't you telling me?"_

" _I'm pregnant." And just like that, she had done it again! She'd completely staggered him with her confession. He was nothing but surprised for a moment and then he was completely and deliriously happy._

" _You mean it love?" She nodded, and some of the tears shed onto her cheeks. Quickly he wiped them away, and asked her why she was crying._

" _I don't know. I'm so happy, but scared too, and I didn't know how you would react. We haven't been married that long, and we went from going so slowly to everything happening so fast." Killian would have stopped her worries with a kiss, but as she'd been ill so much this morning it wasn't an option. Instead he kissed her forehead, taking a moment to breath in the sweet smelling fragrance of her hair and to revel in the feeling that she was here and his and expecting._

" _You are already far and away the best mother, Emma. This child will know nothing but love, and as such, will never face the pain that you or I did. For each day I live and breathe, I live and breathe for you and our children." She hugged him close, but still her whispered insecurities came._

" _What if we mess up?"_

" _We will mess up, love. That's just the way life goes, but we'll learn from our mistakes, as we always have. And we'll always be guided by what's right and what's best for our family. So let go of the fear, Emma, because I promise we can do this. We are ready for this next adventure."_

" _I love you."_

" _And I love you, Swan. More than I can ever, ever say."_

"How do you do it?" Emma's voice sounding from the doorway pulled Killian to the moment once more and he looked up to see his still sleepy wife stretching a bit against the doorframe.

"Rock back and forth in this contraption? Rather easily love, it is perfectly well fashioned." Emma came into the room and shook her head, a smile on her face until she was standing above him and bending in to kiss him softly.

"Very funny. No I was asking how you manage to tempt me mere days after having a baby. It's entirely unfair." Killian growled lightly and grumbled under his breath about how it was she who was doing the tempting and when she laughed he attested that there was his proof.

"My laugh is a turn on?" Killian scoffed as if it was the most ridiculous of questions.

"Everything about you is appealing to me, Swan." She smiled and her hand came to hold Leia's very small one. Their daughter held on tight, already strong and fiercely driven as her mother was.

"I can't believe we did this. We made this perfect little girl." Emma's voice was charged with feeling, and Killian nodded.

"Aye, love. She's the best thing in the world, tied only with you." Suddenly the lights in the room grew brighter, and it was timed just as Leia was making a little baby yawn. Killian's eyes flew to Emma's whose face was shocked and surprised, no doubt mirroring Killian's own expression.

"I didn't do that." Emma said, completely confident and Killian returned his gaze to his daughter once more. When Leia's eyes caught his, the lights flickered again.

"Maybe it was foolish to assume she wouldn't have magic, but since your brother has shown no signs of such an affinity, I thought perhaps in this world, we'd have children with no powers." Still Killian couldn't keep away the smile. A child with magic, now she truly was just like her mother. They would make sure to teach her not to be afraid, and not to try and hide who she was. They'd teach her that doing good made magic what it should be.

"This may just have gotten ten times more complicated." Killian extended his hand and intertwined his fingers with Emma's."

"Still not more than we can handle, love."

"I know. Just might put a hold on my time table." Killian got up from the chair to put his daughter back in her crib, for she was now definitely asleep once more before responding to Emma.

"What time table?"

"I was thinking we should have all the kids close together, so they could have each other. But a toddler with magic? That may not be the best environment to bring more babies into." Killian was beyond surprised to hear Emma's thoughts on growing their family so soon. They'd never spoken about it, but it was just like his Swan to throw him for a loop.

"I think we can manage just fine, love. I always trust your first instincts." He brought his arms around her to pull her close and she smiled, kissing him surely.

"Good. Have I told you I love you today?" He smirked.

"Perhaps once or twice. But don't let that stop you."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Swan." And with that, Killian worked hard to crystallize the memory of today along with his others, for surely he would want to look back on such a remarkable moment often.

…

 _It was only a smile but my heart it went wild  
I wasn't expecting that  
Just a delicate kiss, anyone could've missed  
I wasn't expecting that_

 _Did I misread the sign?  
Your hand slipped into mine  
I wasn't expecting that  
You spent the night in my bed,  
You woke up and you said  
"Well, I wasn't expecting that"_

 _I thought love wasn't meant to last,  
I thought you were just passing through  
If I ever get the nerve to ask  
What did I get right to deserve somebody like you?  
I wasn't expecting that  
It was only a word, it was almost mis-heard  
I wasn't expecting that  
But it came without fear,  
A month turned into a year  
I wasn't expecting that_

 _I thought love wasn't meant to last,  
Honey, I thought you were just passing through  
If I ever get the nerve to ask  
What did I get right to deserve somebody like you?  
I wasn't expecting that_

 _Isn't it strange how a life can be changed  
In the flicker of the sweetest smile  
We were married in spring  
You know I wouldn't change a thing  
Without that innocent kiss, what a life I'd have missed_

 _If you'd not took a chance on a little romance  
When I wasn't expecting that  
Time doesn't take long, three kids up and gone  
I wasn't expecting that  
When the nurses they came, said it's come back again  
I wasn't expecting that  
Then you closed your eyes, you took my heart by surprise  
I wasn't expecting that!_

 _ **Post-Note: So there is my CS fluff for the day. Thank you so much to my lovely reader who sent this prompt in to me. Seriously such a cute story to write, and I hope it did your vision justice. Cannot believe the finale is tomorrow! Hoping it all ends well, without more ridiculousness! Anyway thanks for reading!**_


	54. What the Hell Did I Say

**A/N: AU where Emma and Killian know each other through friends and have for some time. Killian calls Emma one night after drinks with Robin and Dave but, being a little drunk, he can't remember what he said the next day. All he knows is that Emma is coming over to talk about it. Was it good? Was it bad? (of course not, I'm writing this, so it's a bunch of fluff). A basic fic predicated on a bit of miscommunication, and Captain Swan smuff for days. Based on the song 'What the Hell Did I Say' by Dierks Bentley.**

 _Fuck that light is bright._ Waking up after a night of drinking with Dave and Robin meant that Killian was a little worse for ware. In fact, his struggle this morning was so real, he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. Surely at this point in his life he should know his limits, yet here he was.

After a moment, he realized that it wasn't the light that had woken him; it was the ringing of his cell phone. He grabbed it off the nightstand beside him and answered.

"Hello?" The words were thick with sleep and etched with some pain, and just hearing the tone hurt his head. He pressed his other hand to his temple as if the will away the tension there.

"Killian, it's me." Emma was calling him? Whatever for. Not that he didn't want her to, God quite the opposite actually. He'd been in love with her since meeting her nearly a year ago, after all, but still she had no idea as far as he knew. Which in itself was a not so small miracle for certainly every other person of his acquaintance did.

"Emma, love, is everything all right?" He heard her laughing through the receiver, and all his lingering feelings of being hung over dissolved away. One second he was in pain, the next it was gone.

"Look, I know that when you called me, you were drinking…" Oh bloody hell he hadn't called her! Only he must have because she was calling him. "But I loved every single word you left on my phone."

"You did, love?" She made an approving sound that had his whole body surging with lust in a way that he couldn't fight off even if he wished.

"I know you're probably hung over, but could I come over and we could talk, just get everything out there?" Killian had no idea what to say, but he heard himself agreeing despite his hesitating mind.

"Yes, love. Just, give me thirty minutes." She agreed and when he hung up he let out a string of curses the likes of which his neighbors had probably never heard. Hurrying beyond any ability he ever should have been able to muster, Killian showered and changed and tidied the place up a bit, just in time to hear Emma's knock sound in thirty minutes time. The few steps to the door felt like their own tiny eternity, but when the door was opened, all thoughts of fear fled once more.

"Swan." She smiled at the way he said her name, which he had to take as a good sign, for he'd said it with so much raw emotion and yearning that he should be embarrassed. Her smile eventually turned into a laugh though and a hand moved to her hip.

"Are you going to invite me in?"

"Oh, of course love, yes, come in." There were no words for his mortification at this point, but he only had one choice really, face the music of whatever the hell he had said and either own up to it or live it down. "Can I get you anything?" She shook her head and looked as if she might reach out for him, but then checked the impulse. Instead she pulled out her phone and drew up her voicemails.

"I'm not stupid enough to think you remember what you said last night, so instead of engaging in some kind of dance where you speculate and I drop hints, here, listen." She put the message on speaker and through the clamor of the bar in the background, Killian's voice sounded.

" _Swan, it's Killian. I know it's probably terribly inappropriate for me to call you like this, but rest assured I've never done anything of this nature in my entire life. What did you call it again mate?"_ In the background David's voice could be heard saying _'drunk dialing.'_ And Killian physically groaned at the realization that it was Dave who had put him up to this. His friend had been trying to get him to man up for sometime.

" _Right, either way, something's occurred to me tonight, Emma. I could spend my whole life wondering what could be, or I could be the kind of man willing to fight for what he wants. I love you, Emma Swan. I think I always have. I love the gold in your hair, and the green of your eyes. I love that nearly always when you smile, it's the product of some poor ass making a fool of themselves. I love that you've lived in this city for years, but when you walk through it, you're still the tourist, admiring everything for what it is and what it could be. I love- "_ Killian took the phone from Emma and paused it. Emma looked confused, and then a little hurt but Killian moved closer taking her hand in his.

"Emma, we need not listen to the rest of it, for now I know I made professions of why I love you, and I could do that fairly well myself." Emma's cheeks flushed red and Killian tracked the way her mouth parted slightly, her breathing getting a bit more labored.

"So what else do you think you said?" It was invitation enough for Killian, and he laid it all out for her.

"I love the way you never back down from something or someone you believe in. You are stronger than anyone I know, but you also have a compassion swirling in you that manifests in the most magnificent ways. You're loyal, and brilliant, and funny. You're easily the most beautiful woman who has ever lived, and further, you're you. I am a fan of every part of you, and I feel I likely mentioned it on that message, for it's an inescapable fact."

Killian wasn't sure what he expected from Emma in that moment, but it was not for her to close the space between them and kiss him with more passion than he'd ever experienced. The kiss wasn't slow, but demanding and filled with yearning, as if the two of them had been building up to an amazing display of love all this time, and were just finally making good. When they finally pulled back, Killian spoke softly.

"So, does that line up with the words you loved?" She shook her head.

"No, they were better. And for the record, I love you too." The raw rush of pride and wonder that stole through Killian at her words could not be suppressed and he held Emma tight around the waist, looking into her green eyes with feeling.

"Much as I love to hear those words, love, we should probably take leave of my apartment, for I have certain ideas of how I'd like to court you and staying here is rather dangerous to that vision." To his surprise, Emma pulled out of his arms, taking a step back and stripped off her jacket slowly. All the while she just shook her head.

"Well _I_ have certain fantasies that are demanding we make good on them right now. We've been dancing around each other for a year now, I frankly don't think I can wait anymore." Killian watched as Emma went to unbutton her blouse and exposed more and more of her creamy flesh. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to understand how his life had gotten to this point, but completely entranced with the sight before him until a bit of Emma's laughter cut through the fog in his mind.

"You know, when I thought about this, it definitely wasn't a one person show. In fact, you typically get pretty rough trying to get me out of these clothes." Killian groaned out loud, but as if by some force more powerful than his will, he was pulled to Emma and did just that, freeing her from the confines of her shirt, and then her jeans.

"Bloody hell, Swan, you're even more beautiful than I imagined." He ran his hands along her skin, transfixed, while Emma broke out into a grin as if knowing exactly how much power she had over him. Shea moved a hand across the smooth cotton of his shirt in a soft caress.

"Lose the shirt, Jones." He practically ripped it off his person over his head as she brought her hands to the button of his jeans, and decided to torment him with her touch. Uninterested in teasing, when she'd already pushed him to such a state of need, Killian surprised her, pulling Emma up into his arms before she could push his jeans down and bringing her in her bedroom.

"I rather think we'd like a bed this first time, love, since we've both had so many thoughts about how this should go." When Emma was laying out for him amongst his sheets, the most base of instincts took over. All he could think was that he had to make this ethereal beauty his. She was goodness and light and salvation and damn if he wasn't going to show her that he was the man to make her happy and safe and wanted all her life.

"If we're going to make all those dreams come true, we should probably take the week off. Mine can get a bit… _creative_." Despite her sensual professions, Killian could tell that Emma was lacking some of the control she appeared to possess. He moved his hand across her skin, making his way to the front clasp of her bra and he watched her shiver as a flush broke out along her whole body. She was humming with the same energy that was holding on to him, and that made him smile.

"I so look forward to hearing more about those love." Nothing could compare to this moment, of that Killian was sure, for the anticipation of more than a years knowing each other and wanting each other was coming to head. Taking her now exposed breast in hand, Killian made mental notes of every sound and every motion that Emma made. He was studying up on what she liked and what she wanted, absolutely determined to numb her mind with pleasure and have her as addicted to his touch as he was to hers. Where her hands moved through the hair on his chest and then down lower, Killian felt flashes of pure pleasure.

"If you're dead set on continuing to tease me, know that's a two way street." Emma ground out as Killian rolled her nipple with his fingers. The responding groan she made when he took the other in his mouth was music to Killian's ears. She squirmed underneath him, arching for more while also seeming to need something else entirely but she wasn't asking, so Killian kept at his intent of driving her crazy. Killian found a most serene sense of peace that was infused with his hunger and impatience. It was such a tumultuous state to find oneself in, but quickly was becoming his favorite feeling.

"That's rather an empty threat, love, for I'm assuming teasing still involves your hands on me, and that's all I could ever want." Bringing his mouth back up to her lips, Killian captured any more words she was about to let go as his hand trailed to the waiting heat between her legs. When his fingers slipped passed her panties, and his thumb made a swirl against her clit, Emma moaned through the kiss, and her hands tightened around the muscles of his arms. Wanting more of such responses, Killian inserted one and then another finger into her sex while continuing his attentions to her needy bud and Emma pulled away from the kiss trying to catch her breath. He took the opportunity to kiss at her neck and to find the spot just above her pulse that drove her crazy when he licked and then nipped at it.

" _Fuck_ , Killian, please! I need more."

"As you wish, love." He gave her exactly what she needed, with the right rhythm and stimulation to send her spiraling over into a first climax, that left her not nearly sated, but beautifully panting under him. Using her orgasm to his advantage, Killian kissed down her body so that he could have a taste of the woman who'd been his light and his tormentor for so long. Many a sleepless night had come and gone where he'd thought about nothing but making her come, and wondered what her arousal would taste like on his tongue. Now he was finding out, and thoroughly delighted with the physical result.

"Oh my God, of course you're good at this!" Her comment was almost accusatory, but the inflection of her tone, higher and a little sharper than normal only cemented what Killian already knew – Emma Swan was definitely interested in his mouth taking her. Pulling back he breathed against her and smiled before getting his two cents in.

"Did you ever have any doubts that I would be?" Emma shook her head, and whether she meant to or not she arched back up as if imploring him to return to his ministrations on her sex. He happily complied and listened as the vision of loveliness who held his heart cursed like a bloody sailor about how much she loved this. Soon enough, she was tumbling over the edge and only then did Killian move away, filled with satisfaction and seriously turned on.

"That was…" Emma was struggling to find the words and Killian smiled, placing a soft kiss to her lips and feeling her sudden awareness at the taste of her on his tongue.

"It was bloody brilliant, and will be repeated often." Her green eyes went wide and in them, Killian saw his entire future. Her passion and desire were right there at the surface.

"I love you. I know I already said it, but it bears repeating."

"As I love you, Emma." Suddenly, the moment was broken though as Emma took advantage of the calm between them to flip their positions so she was now straddling over him. Killian was surprised but not disappointed with her maneuver.

"But I also meant what I said before, this relationship is going to be a two way street, so what you give, you also get." Killian was already hard as could be, but the promise and innuendo in her words had him pulsing with adrenaline and his cock growing even more rigid. With a soft caress turned firm hold, she took his cock in hand and pumped him, just trying to manage the same perusal that he had with her. When he groaned about how good it felt she tilted her head, and smiled as if she was thrilled to learn what he liked. Kissing his lips and then moving away down his neck and chest and lower, Emma made some more observations.

"For the record, you far exceeded my dreamed up expectations in _every_ regard." She looked at his cock with a hunger and mirth in her eyes just as she took him in her mouth setting him on fire, and he was helpless against the onslaught of pleasure that came as she worked him. He was very nearly gone, close to falling over the edge when he implored her to stop. She did, looking a little confused and Killian pulled her up closer to him.

"This first time, love, I need to be inside you. I need to be with you." She smiled and kissed him lightly before pulling away to rock his world again.

"I'm on the pill, and I've never had sex without a condom. But I trust you, and I want this, if you do." The uncertainty in her voice, prompted him to reach up and run his thumb against her cheek.

"I haven't been with anyone since meeting you love, and this will be a first for both of us." His confession had the uncertainty fading from her person, and again there was he self-assured siren, lining herself up over him before sinking down on him, inch by glorious inch.

It was an inescapable fact that they fit together perfectly and in all his life, Killian had never experienced something so monumentally fantastic as this. When it was coupled with Emma's nails grazing against his skin trying to gain purchase as she lifted up and down, and her happy little sighs of pleasure, Killian had no choice but to totally give over to the sensations of the love they made together. Soon enough, after chasing the release both of them still wanted, they managed to crash into a euphoric bliss and then lay together spent on the bed.

"I'm really glad you got hammered last night." Killian chuckled at that, as he pushed a strand of her golden hair out of her face.

"Is that so, love?" She nodded and moved closer to his chest.

"Yup, because it led to another good hammering this morning." There was no possible response to that other than a bellowing laugh that had Emma giggling to her own terribly cheesy joke. "Too much?" She asked and he shook his head.

"Never. It's just proof that you were made for me, corny lines and all." She smirked and he could feel the upturn of her lips against his neck.

"I learned from a real master." The way her words vibrated against his skin had Killian growing hard once more and sparked an idea.

"I have some more lessons if you're interested, Swan. They're of a more… salacious variety." Emma's only response was to nip at the same point on his neck that he'd fixated on hers and that was all the reply he needed to give her exactly the instruction he'd hinted at.

A few months later, resolute in the fact that he loved Emma more than anything, Killian left her another voicemail, this one not hindered with excessive drunkenness, but still possessing an important message. In it, he told Emma how much he wanted to marry her, and how she was the best part of his world. Unsurprisingly, she loved those words just as much as she'd love his first ones, and her answer was a resounding, heart-felt yes.

…..

 _Woke up this morning with my cellphone ringing_ _  
_ _She said, "I know that when you called me, you were drinking_ _  
_ _But I loved every single word you left on my phone_

 _And I know you're hungover but I'm coming on over"  
Did I say we'd go shopping? That I'd Louis Vuitton her?  
That I'd Rodeo Drive her? Slide a Tiffany diamond on her?_

 _What the hell did I say when I called last night  
Dripping loads of whiskey honey in that message that the liked  
What the hell did I say? Gotta dial it up again  
I'm writing out those lines that fell out drunk at 3 am  
What the hell did I, hell did I, hell did I say?  
What the hell did I, hell did I, hell did I say?_

 _Last thing I remember, I was thinking I'd call her up  
And put her on speaker while the whole bar sang Free Bird  
Had that phone in my hand when I ran into trouble  
My friend coming over with a couple of doubles_

 _What the hell did I say when I called last night  
Dripping loads of whiskey honey in that message that the liked  
What the hell did I say? Gotta dial it up again  
I'm writing out those lines that fell out drunk at 3 am  
What the hell did I, hell did I, hell did I say?  
What the hell did I, hell did I, hell did I say?_

 _Did I say we'd go shopping? That I'd Louis Vuitton her?  
That I'd Rodeo Drive her? Slide a Tiffany diamond on her?  
Did I tell her she could move in and we'd fly out to Vegas  
Champagne all the way and we'd get married by Elvis_

 _What the hell did I say when I called last night  
Dripping loads of whiskey honey in that message that the liked  
What the hell did I say? Gotta dial it up again  
I'm writing out those lines that fell out drunk at 3 am  
What the hell did I, hell did I, hell did I say?  
What the hell did I, hell did I, hell did I say?_

 _What the hell did I say?  
What the hell did I say?_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a light, airy smutty little fic today for finale night. I am hoping it goes well, despite the crazy promos, but either way I am going to continue on the fluff train, probably forever. Hope that you all have enjoyed your weekend, and that we all survive tonight, and as always, thanks so much for reading! Don't forget, I am always accepting prompts for songs to include in the mixtape and in my other stories so keep them coming!**_


	55. We've Got Love

_**A/N: Emma and Killian take their kids to the park and have an adorably fluffy and cute moment together, musing about their lives and how even now, all this time later, they can still find the moments. Inspired by 'We've Got Love' by Babyface.**_

Seasons didn't come and go the same way in Storybrooke that they did in the world outside. Sure, winter turned to spring, spring to summer, and summer to fall, just to start all over again but in their lives it wasn't the blooming flowers, or change in the leaves that marked their time, it was what type of evil they'd had to face. At least, that was how it had been for a long time. Luckily, though, trouble had started to fade, conflicts were fewer and farther between, and the small happy moments had blossomed into longer times of peace and quiet.

"Mommy, again!" Okay, not exactly _quiet_ , but definitely happy.

"Liam, honey, how many times can you go down one slide?" Her three year old looked up at her like Emma had two heads and gave a little pout. He looked just like his father, and by proxy, like his Uncle whose name he bore. From Emma herself though, he had bright green eyes that hid nothing about how he felt or what he thought.

"All the times, Mommy." She smiled at her son's answer and nodded sending him off sprinting towards the slide once more. Taking the kids to the park was something she and Killian did often, and for months now Liam had been taken with the slide. Rain or shine, that boy wanted to go fast and this was the only way a three year old could really do so.

"Mom, look how high I can go now!" Her daughter Hope called from he swing set, Emma felt her heart slam at the sight of her daughter so high and about to jump, but before she could respond, Hope leaped from the swing, using her magic to land safely. six years old, and Hope was still hell on wheels. What had started as the terrible twos had only stayed the same, and though Hope was all right, she may soon be the death of her mother. Emma placed a hand to her chest, feeling the erratic beating of her heart as worry coursed through her.

"Hope, what have I said about going that high?" Hope sighed.

"That it's 'unnecessarily dangerous,' but it's also fun Mom. Don't you ever like to have fun?"

"Your mother practically invented fun, love." Killian's voice from behind her had Emma turning with an instant smile. In his arms he held their youngest, Leia, who was all of a year. Killian had taken to parenting about as well as Emma had expected, which was to say that he was a fantastic father who made everything seem easy.

"No way. Name one thing Mom ever did that was fun." It would probably be lame to tell her daughter that she thought their movie nights and fort parties and magic lessons were fun right?

"She slayed a dragon." Hope's eyes grew two times their size and she gaped.

"No she didn't you're just saying that. Mom?" Emma shrugged.

"I'm not sure I'd call that particularly fun, but I did." Hope nodded, still in awe of the deed, but agreeing it wasn't exactly what came to mind when one contemplated a carefree, good time.

"Mommy plays tricks!" Liam added happily after another ride down the slide. Killian quirked a brow up at that.

"Does she now?" Liam took one look at his father and nodded happily. Emma meanwhile bit back a groan, knowing exactly what her son was going to say.

"Mommy and Henry put the pictures of the lady man all over the streets." That characterization actually had Emma barking out a bit of laughter before she was able to cover her mouth and muffle it. What Liam meant was that she and Henry had put up the pictures of Killian's Disney counterpart all around town. When Killian realized what Liam meant he turned to Emma, indignant.

"Swan, you didn't! And you let me blame Dave for it all." Emma grinned, shrugging. It had been Henry's idea, but she'd had to partake. His reaction had been classic, and in the end she'd gotten to convince him that the real Captain Hook was still as dashing and roguish as ever he was. They'd both been very _satisfied_ by that reminder.

"And Mommy and Grandma took me to bring all the bunnies to Leroy's house. He got really mad but Mommy _poofed_ us away before he could see us." Oh right, they had done that. But it wasn't that bad. Leroy had just been huffing and puffing for months about how they weren't doing enough to protect the town. He was paranoid that something was coming, and even though Emma's gut said nothing was right now, he wouldn't accept it. At one point he'd gone so far as to say that they'd probably find out the Easter Bunny had a long lost evil twin who could curse them, and it had sparked an idea.

"That was you, love?" Leia reached for Emma and Emma took her from Killian just as Hope started jumping up and down excitedly.

"That's awesome! Can I prank with you too, Mom? I have some really good ideas. Like we could use magic to make Tiny's hair pink, or slowly take all the forks from Granny's and hide them so everyone has to eat with spoons or maybe…" Hope went on with plan after plan and Killian whispered low so only Emma could hear.

"Should we be worried about how attuned she is to mischief?" Emma shook her head.

"No, with us as parents it was bound to happen. Plus, under all that adolescent bravado is a heart of gold." Killian smiled.

"Are you guys even listening anymore? I have some really good ideas here!" With her hands on her hips, blonde hair blowing in the wind, and blue eyes narrowed on the two of them, it was hard not to see herself in her daughter. Sure, she was far more well adjusted, aware that she was loved and cared for, but she was also stubborn and determined to be heard.

"Aye you do, love, and I dare say they deserve the proper venue. What say you to getting some ice cream, and you can regale us with all your plans over rocky road?" Hope considered as if there was any chance she would deny an ice cream trip and then nodded.

"That would be acceptable." Then she turned to Liam and took his hand walking in front of Emma and Killian.

"She learned that move from your mother. A regal tone and head held high. We really have gotten ourselves into trouble." Emma pulled him in, kissing him lightly.

"Yeah, but we've got love too, so it'll all work out."

"I think you're right, love. We've had enough pain and sorrow to last this lifetime."

"Try _ten_ lifetimes. But it was all worth it, for days like today and my moments with you." He smiled, taking her hand in his as they walked on to enjoy the rest of a wonderfully normal afternoon.

….

 _We done pain and sorrow  
We done been through change  
We done had way better days, yes sir  
But I seen tomorrow  
I ain't see no rain  
'Cause our sun's gonna shine again, yes it is_

 _I been thinking 'bout it  
Ain't no doubt about it  
We got something that the world  
Just can't explain  
It was the one thing  
That makes it always work out  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
If we got nothin' else  
We got love  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
At least that's something, yes  
We got love_

 _And the world goes round and round, round and round  
And the world goes round and round, round and round  
And the world goes round and round, round and round  
Around in circles_

 _We didn't have no money  
Our bills ain't been paid  
Coulda lost 'bout everything  
But we climbed that mountain  
And we found a way  
And we back on top again_

 _I keep thinking 'bout it  
Ain't no way around it  
Girl, we got something that the world  
Just can't explain  
It was the one thing  
That makes it always work out  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
If we got nothin' else  
We got love  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
At least that's something, yes  
We got love_

 _And the world goes round and round, round and round  
And the world goes round and round, round and round  
And the world goes round and round, round and round  
Around in circles_

 _And the world goes round and round, round and round  
And the world goes round and round, round and round  
And the world goes round and round, round and round  
Around in circles_

 _I keep thinking 'bout it  
Ain't no way around it  
Girl, we got something that the world  
Just can't explain  
Oh babe, it was the one thing  
That makes it always work out  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
If we got nothin' else  
We got love  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
At least that's something, yes  
We got love  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
If we got nothin' else  
We got love  
It's 'cause we got love, love, love, love, love  
At least that's something, yes  
We got love  
Come on say love_

 _ **Post-Note: So here is today's fluff installment. Just a short little piece for me to throw all sorts of future CS babies feels into. Hope you guys enjoyed and thanks for reading!  
**_


	56. I Get to Love You

**A/N: Fic where Emma and Killian are already planning to getting married, but the afternoon before, Emma finds Killian and asks for a moment. She doesn't want to wait, and so they have a private ceremony just the two of them, in a field filled with roses just like in Camelot. They say their vows, they have their kiss and it's adorable. Inspired by 'I Get to Love You' by Ruelle.**

 _Perp was wearing a ridiculous looking jacket, presumably made from some hopeless animal, thinking it was chic._ Any other day, Emma probably would have laughed at her bit of humor as she went through backlogged paper work, but today was different. Instead of laughing at a characterization she'd made about a certain villain's apparel, Emma had reread the same line ten times because she couldn't seem to remember it. Her maximum ability for focus was thirty seconds tops until she found herself being pulled back to what was happening tomorrow.

All day, Emma had been stumbling through her routine as if caught in a daze. She'd burned her first batch of pancakes, had tried to mix instant coffee into her steamed milk for the morning's cocoa, and put on a winter jacket when it was seventy five degrees out. She'd thought that it was her day to get Henry to school, only to remember that it wasn't when she pulled up outside of the school and realized Henry wasn't even with her, but with Regina. Seriously, she was all over the place, and it was starting to become increasingly apparent that any control she typically had was slipping.

It wasn't fear or worry that caused the problem - it was excitement, a pure, unbridled rush of wanting to get to the next step sooner. Tomorrow she was marrying Killian, her true love and the man that she'd built her dreams around. That reality had a current swimming just beneath the surface of her skin, humming through her with a crackling sort of energy that had started to manifest magically.

"Emma is that you?" Her father's words cut through the fog of her thoughts, and she realized that the lights in the station were dimming in and out only to flare with brightness. She balled her hands up into fists and the lights stayed as they should be. Yeah, this was definitely her doing.

"Sorry, just a lot on my mind." Her father offered a small smile and a pat on the arm.

"It's all going to be all right you know. There's no need to be nervous." Emma laughed a little at that. Of course that was what everyone would think, she had a track record for running scared in the face of happiness. Thank God she'd done away with that.

"I'm not, weirdly enough. I just hate waiting. We've waited long enough." And wasn't that the truth. Emma felt like she'd loved Killian forever, even if it hadn't truly been that long, but at every turn there'd been push back. In the beginning it was her own walls, but then the Universe had also thrown in a curse or two to keep them apart, a dalliance with dark magic so powerful it could corrupt anyone, and a tour through the Underworld. She had a right to be fatigued with waiting, and if there was anything she knew about herself, it was that she didn't do anything in half measures. Once she was in, she was all in.

"So why are you?" Emma considered her Dad's statement and realized he had a great point. What was keeping her from finding him now and making her moment? Then she remembered.

"We've planned everything, or perhaps you've forgotten how excited Mom's been and Henry, and heck even you. Don't try to deny it, you've been thrilled at the chance to give me away since the day Killian proposed." Her Dad smiled at that.

"And there's nothing say that you have to disappoint any of us. Tomorrow is for everyone, that's the way it is with royal weddings, even if we are a little out of our jurisdiction. But today can be for you, if you want. It's up to you, Emma, to make a choice." It was a little strange to think that her father of all people was the one she would have this conversation with, but at the same time it felt right. David had just as much hope as her mother, just as much love in his heart as Emma, but he also seemed to understand her just a bit more. He listened better, and he watched her and Killian like a hawk most of the time, so it would make sense that in some ways he would understand.

"Don't tell Mom." He grinned and nodded, giving a signal as if his lips were sealed as Emma grabbed her jacket and headed out. Once on the street, she pulled out her phone, dialing Killian who answered after the first ring.

" _Swan, is everything all right?"_ God she loved that he always had that burst of protectiveness, even if nothing had gone wrong since they'd rid the town of Hyde and his untold minions. It meant that he cared, and while she never doubted that he did, it was still nice to be reminded.

"Where are you?" Her voice wouldn't do much to assure him that everything was fine, but that would be remedied as soon as she saw him, wherever he was.

" _Home, love, why?"_ She _poofed_ there instantly, finding him in the kitchen and startling him a bit.

"Bloody hell, I'll never get used to that." Emma couldn't help but laugh as she leaned up to kiss him. He was clearly a little surprised by that too, but all it took was a second for him to be with her, matching her desire beat for beat.

"Marry me, Killian." Killian's responding grin brought out a smile on Emma's face as well.

"That's the plan love. Tomorrow I make you Mrs. Jones in front of the whole town." Emma shook her head, taking his hand in hers and intertwining their fingers together.

"No, marry me now. Just us, without the people of Storybrooke and the banter between you and Dad. I don't want to wait anymore, I just want to be yours." Killian brought his hand to her cheek and whispered.

"You already are, Emma, just as I am yours. But if it's a wedding you want, it's a wedding we'll have. How do you propose we do this?" She led him from the kitchen out of the house into the backyard.

Tomorrow they were getting married on the sand, standing by the water at sunset with hopefully nothing but clear skies and a soft breeze. It was romantic enough to fit her mother's fancies, while being close enough to the water for Killian's, and Emma too liked the idea of having such a ceremony. Right now though, Emma had a different idea, and as she pulled him deeper into the backyard of the home they shared she realized this was the perfect place to do it.

"Just a few last touches." With a flick of her wrist, Emma covered the backyard in the same style rose blooms that they'd had in Camelot, to remind them of that special moment they'd had together. Then she switched her work clothes and leather jacket for a softer white sundress and a wreath of flowers in her hair. Killian was looking at her like she was everything, and even though she loved it, loved the intensity with which he loved and admired her, she couldn't help from teasing him just a little. "You know, we could always wait for tomorrow. Maybe I was too hasty-" Killian sealed her lips with a kiss so demanding, it damn near to her breath away but when he pulled back, the blue of his eyes was dark and deep and sincere.

"We're marrying today, Emma. I'm not letting another moment pass us by." Emma smiled at that and marveled at their luck that he'd had their rings in his pocket the whole time. He pulled them out and handed her the one meant for him. When she held it in her hand, a flash of warmth coursed through her. This was really it.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" Killian raised a brow at that.

"Who always goes first in this relationship, love?" Emma laughed at that, because it was true. It seemed wherever she led, he really was quick to follow.

"Fair point." She exhaled and then took his hand in hers, preparing to say her vows. She had ones for tomorrow that were a little more conservative, and far more accessible to their friends and neighbors, but today she was saying exactly how she felt.

"Killian, I stand here before you to say that I love you and that in your eyes I see the happily ever after I never thought I'd have. You help me to believe that the world I knew before, the one where it was better to go it alone and to keep people out, isn't the one I'm always destined to have. Together, we've faced impossible obstacles, but we always seem to come through stronger and surer than ever. I promise you to always fight for us, and to always find you, because honestly, I can't believe I get to love you. I really can't believe I'm that lucky. With you, I've found the hope of a better future, one that's bright and happy, one with the white picket fence and the kids and the dog, and whatever else we want. It might not be a perfect life, I know trouble will come knocking again, but it'll be everything I could ever want because you'll be with me. Know that you have me forever, and forever starts today."

"Emma, we have both known enough pain, enough loneliness and enough doubt to last many lifetimes, but I'm thankful for every ounce of it, because it's led us to this moment. It led me to you, the best person in all the realms. Today our journey as man and wife begins, but for me, my redemption and my future started the day I met you. I look at where I was then, and where I am now and I see that change is not only possible, but inevitable when I'm by your side, and that change is for the better. You've fixed a broken man, made him whole and happier than I could have ever wished to be. Whatever may come, I will choose you, I will love you and I will protect you and our family. This I promise, love, for you own me, heart and soul and there isn't anything I won't do to see you happy and safe. You have me forever, too love. Be careful with me."

Emma felt the happy tears streaming down her face and she let out a little laugh at his last part. Everything he'd said had been wonderful. This was exactly what she'd wanted, and she couldn't help but feel like things in her life were damn near perfect.

"Do you, Emma, take me to be your husband, forever and always?" Killian's words prompted a soft laugh from Emma but she nodded.

"I do. And do you, Killian take me to be your wife, forever and always?"

"I do, love." They slid the rings on each other's fingers, and with what must have been her magic, they glowed a bright white against their skin before settling back to their original gold. Still it couldn't compare to the gleam in Killian's eyes when she met them once more.

"Then I do believe that makes us married. You may now-" Why she'd ever thought she needed to fill him in on when he should kiss her, Emma would never know. But this kiss was a culmination of every promise they'd been making up until now. It was amazing, and it was over too soon.

"You're a married woman now, Swan." The way he said it had a flush of pleasure rushing through her.

"You're still going to call me that even if it's technically Emma _Jones_ now?" The flash of heat in his eyes stoked Emma's own desire but he nodded. "Good. Now take me home, _husband_ , I think we're overdue for a honeymoon."

When she'd given the order she hadn't expected that he'd sweep her off her feet and carry her through the flowers back to the house and up the stairs, though she had to admit she liked his old-fashioned sensibilities. Thank goodness he gave them over once safely in the confines of their bedroom though, for there they had a most fantastic wedding night, fully knowing that they'd get to do it all over again the next day.

…

 _One look at you, my whole life falls in line._

 _I prayed for you, before I called you mine._

 _I can't believe it's true, sometimes._

 _I can't believe it's true._

 _I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do._

 _I get to love you, it's a promise I'm making to you._

 _Whatever may come, your heart I will choose._

 _Forever I'm yours, forever I do._

 _I get to love you, I get to love you._ __

 _The way you love, it changes who I am.  
I am undone  
I can't believe it's true, sometimes.  
I can't believe it's true._

 _I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do.  
I get to love you, it's a promise I'm making to you.  
Whatever may come; your heart I will choose.  
Forever I'm yours, forever I do.  
I get to love you, I get to love you.  
I get to love you, I get to love you._

 _They say love is a journey, I promise that I'll never leave.  
When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me.  
I get to love you, I get to love you,  
I get to love you._

 _ **Post-Note: Just another short fic today, this one about a CS wedding because, again, need it. This show is slowly killing me, and I am still not over the finale. Call me greedy, but I really wanted more than another 'I love you' probably because every fic I write they get one. Maybe that's the problem, maybe I've created so much fluff that I cannot separate the cannon from the fic. Either way, I prefer them having their happily ever after now, and I hope you guys enjoyed this attempt at giving them that. Thanks for reading!**_


	57. End of Time

**A/N: Okay, so I am rewriting/extending the scene from 5x23. You all know the one of which I speak – yes the 'I love you.' Now, hear me out, I thoroughly love their love, but I wanted a little more, and since 5x15 I have had this song in my head for a moment post-Underworld where Emma asks Killian to move in. So, expect far more fluff than a thirty second scene allowed on the show, a new homecoming for Killian, and the smut we all deserve. In this retelling, I'm pretending Hyde's appearance is slightly delayed, just by a day or so and Henry is staying with Regina. Inspired by the lyrics of one of my all time favorites, 'End of Time' by Beyoncé. Rated M.**

 _It feels good to be home,_ Emma thought as she looked around the town once more. She was fresh off of a critical Mom moment alongside Regina, watching Henry have what she assumed was his first kiss. It did her heart well to see things work out when Emma herself had caused so much pain between these two kids in Camelot. All that seemed put to right now, though, and for that Emma was grateful. She might never be fully past the bad she'd done then, but she could find her peace, especially with the man she loved by her side, if only he would get there.

When the car that held her parents and Killian turned onto the road, just the sight of it seemed to channel more calm into her. Their return to this little corner of the world brought with it a hope that had been largely lacking the past few weeks. Things were as they should be once more. The sun was shining, the Universe seemed somehow less chaotic, and at last Emma could breathe again.

It felt so natural, to move to Killian first, and even if they'd only been separated a few hours, she still felt the missing piece in her life click back into place from his presence. There were still things to do, a new member of the town to introduce, security checks to make, a lot of emotions to sort through. Truly a hero's work was never done, but they deserved a moment, and that was exactly what Emma was going to give herself and Killian.

"Killian…" He looked at her as they walked hand in hand, her parents leaving them behind in their pursuit of Granny's.

"What is it, love? You don't still feel guilty about my return, do you?" The way he asked, with patience and understanding even if that wasn't the case pulled at her heart. He was miraculous in the way that he understood who she was and who she had been. Quickly she set those worries to right.

"No. Just after everything we've been through – darkness, Hades, being separated by realms – I just wanted to say something. You know, when we're not in the middle of a big battle or one of us is facing death, when things are just normal."

"And what's that, Swan?" She smiled, knowing that special look he'd give her when she said the words, the one reserved for her and for his happiest moments. Silence filled the air between them, but it wasn't tense or unwanted. It was just quiet, a peaceful sort of lull that normal people had in their every day lives, a kind of peace she hoped they'd have more of in the future.

"I love you." And there it was, that look, that smile that said the whole world meant nothing aside from her. That smile was one of her favorite things to see, one of the best

parts of her life, and it brought with it a kiss so perfect, it somehow made the many others they'd shared seem small. He lifted her up, and even if that was never the girl she'd been, it worked with him, and she loved him for it.

"There's something else," Emma said when they finally pulled apart, both in need of a little air, and a little room to breathe, but neither taking it. They were only inches apart and Emma watched that smile of his tick upwards once more.

"Anything, Swan." Her hand came to rest over his chest, something that had started to happen more and more since he'd returned from the Underworld. It was her way to feel that he was there, when she sometimes worried it might all be a dream.

"Come home with me. You chose that house for us to have our future in, and I want it to start now." He looked so hopeful, pulling back only slightly to search her expression for some certainty. He didn't want to rush her, she could see it in the depths of those blue eyes, so she'd have to convince him she was ready.

"You want to move in together?" Emma laughed.

"I think being true love kind of requires it, don't you? No one has a happily ever after without their partner by their side, right?" That was her attempt at a humorous spin on the truth, which was that she couldn't bear the thought of being parted from him again, even just for one night. Every moment with him was a gift, so why spend any apart that weren't strictly necessary?

"I just – aren't we skipping a step, love?" Her pulse picked up once she understood his meaning, but she played it cool, letting herself stay grounded in the humor at the risk of falsely presuming what he meant. She'd thought the same way in Camelot, only for him to assure her he wasn't proposing after all.

"I should have known you'd be old fashioned." The gleam in his eyes at her playful reply only made his face more handsome.

"Well that I might be, but I pray you'll go along with it, just this once love." Killian kneeled before her, right there on the street and pulled from his jacket a ring with a white gold band and intricate swirls hosting a beautiful diamond. But to Emma, there was more than it's visual perfection to consider. There was also the fact that he'd had it on his person as he'd traveled through realms and the like. It was astounding to her that he should have a ring at all, so she could do nothing but gape as he said the words.

"Emma Swan, you are without a doubt my light in the darkness, my calm in the storm, my hope for the future. I love you more than I can ever say and I will love you until the end of time itself. You are everything, Emma, and as long as I live, I live for you, to see you happy, to see you safe. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Killian. I will marry you." He rose back up once more and the embrace they shared put the one that just happened to shame. In the span of a moment, her whole life had changed, but was undeniably as it was always meant to be. This was exactly the life Emma was destined to have, and all she could think was that she wanted it to begin right away. With a flick of her wrist at the tail end of their kiss, she _poofed_ them back to their house and watched the wonder in his eyes that always came when he used her magic.

"You wanted a bit more privacy, love?" he joked.

"I wanted to bring you home, _really_ home." His hand came up to cup her cheek and Emma leaned into it, taking the warmth and the calloused feel and soaking it all in.

" _You_ are my home, Emma." That thought brought tears to her eyes of the happiest kind. Those words held more magic in them than any power she would ever wield, and filled her with the surest sense of love and hope.

"And you are mine." With that, any lingering sense of control that they had seemed to snap. Both Emma and Killian worked in a somewhat synchronized motion to strip away the clothes that separated them. Perhaps they lacked fluidity of motion, but neither cared, all that mattered was removing this last bit between them.

"Want to know the best part of doing this at _home_?" Emma asked him.

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

"No interruptions." Killian groaned and Emma looked at him with a bit of confusion. That had been a serious consideration for them in the past, she was sure he'd be happy at the new state of things.

"You've put a challenge to the Universe to prove you wrong, love, let's hope it takes pity though, for they'll be no stopping once we start this time." His hand came to graze across her bare skin, sending zings of pleasure beneath the surface. Emma might have laughed at his superstition had she been any less turned on, but as it was all she could think was to get them both to the release that was driving them mad.

"The Universe owes us one day at least. So where do we start?" She licked her lips and that was all it took for Killian to set upon her right there in the kitchen. His kiss was demanding and thorough, leaving her dizzy as his hand and hook took stock of all the spots he'd found in their time together that set her just slightly more on fire.

"I think you were mistaken, Swan." She could barely ask him why as his mouth set kisses down her jaw and along her neck as his hand moved lower to the v between her legs, but she did and he chuckled against her throat in a low response that had her squirming. "The best part of doing this at home, is I can take you in each and every room and truly make it ours."

"That's an awful lot of talk, Captain." Her words had the exact effect she wanted, pushing him to please her faster, and his thumb made contact with her clit causing her eyes to shut in surrender. When the swirling motion he gave her sensitive bud coupled with his fingers entering her, Emma nearly cried out in relief. It was so much and yet definitely not enough, just as the climax that followed was. One small portion of her hunger was sated, but there was so much more to satisfy. Killian, ever the master of her needs and desires, had a gleam in his eye as he noted as much.

"You're never one for greed, Emma, but you know what it does to me when you take what you want here." She did. It fueled the fire in him and left both of them reveling in the best sex she'd ever had, better than any fantasy and she could be pretty creative. She moved to sit at the edge of the table in the space, knowing for this next part, they'd need the support.

"I know. You're _particularly_ devoted to giving me all sorts of happiness." He grinned at that, kissing her lips lightly before moving away and down the contours of her body until he was kneeling before her with his mouth at her sex. When he hovered above what she wanted he arched his brow and smiled once more.

"And what would make you happy now, love?" She wanted him by her side forever. But since that was already going to happen…

"You're mouth on me." She said the words without shame, for there was no space for that between them any more.

"As you wish." Setting about to give her mind numbing pleasure, Killian achieved his intentions with a swipe against her core that had Emma writhing beneath him. The voracity with which he set upon her pulled a string of curses passed her lips, but all Emma could do was succumb to the onslaught of such an indulgence.

" _Killian_!" The plea from Emma had Killian finally giving her gratification, pushing her over the edge into a second orgasm that tore her breath away. By the time he'd risen to look her in the eyes one more, she was still panting and trying to regroup. She couldn't keep from smiling at him though, and bringing her hand to cup his jaw.

"Gods, I love you." The way he said the words, like they were their own sort of prayer, it clutched at Emma's heart and all at once, the world faded away. All that remained was the two of them, and all she could think was that she needed to show him that she felt exactly the same way. But just as she was about to pursue that, Killian gathered her in his arms and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom.

"Technically we can't count the kitchen now." Killian growled as he put her down on the bed and moved above her.

"Well there's always next time. But the first time I make love to you in _our_ home, it will be in the bed we share." Without delay, he thrust into her and Emma felt that sense of wholeness that only ever came with him. Finding their rhythm, building that incredible tension was an indescribable feeling, finally set off when his thumb brushed her clit sparking the inferno within. This time her release pulled him with her, and the joining was momentous.

"I feel like there's so much left to say, but I don't have the words." Emma confessed a while later, as they lay together, still wrapped up in each other.

"Maybe the words aren't needed love. It's often our actions that speak our truth." Emma nodded, for of course that was true. But still, it was so often Killian who had the words, and she wanted to find her own to give him. He took her hand in hers and kissed it gently and she watched him. When she looked back into his blue eyes, she decided just to speak from her heart.

"When you hold my hand it feels like you'll always be there, and like you'll never let me go. That's my favorite feeling in the world… And somehow you're not just the man I love, but my best friend, the person I turn to when things are good and bad. You turn the rain into the sun and my heart is so full thanks to you. I love you so much, that I won't ever stop. My love for you is timeless, boundless. It just is and always will be." He smiled at that, kissing her surely.

"And you thought you couldn't find the words, love." She laughed at that, placing her hand above his heart once more to feel the steadying beat of his heart against her palm.

"Maybe I just needed reminding that I could." He's said something similar so long ago, when he'd returned to help them find Henry in Neverland. Looking back at how far they'd come, she was happy that the words could mean so much more now.

"That's what I'm here for, just as you are for me."

"Always?" Emma asked, fully knowing the answer already.

"Always." And so it was forever after, that they were together, by each other's sides, loving each other until the end of their time here and ever after.

…

 _Come take my hand  
I won't let you go  
I'll be your friend  
I will love you so deeply  
I will be the one to kiss you at night  
I will love you until the end of time_

 _I'll be your baby  
And I promise not to let you go  
Love you like crazy  
Now say you'll never let me go  
Say you'll never let me go (say)  
Say you'll never let me go  
Say you'll never let me go (say)  
Say you'll never let me go_

 _Take, you away, from here  
It's nothing between us but space, and time  
I'll be your own little star, let me shine you up  
Or your own little universe make me your girl_

 _Come take my hand  
I won't let you go  
I'll be your friend  
I will love you so, deeply  
I will be the one to kiss you at night  
(Kiss you at night)  
I will love you until the end of time_

 _I'll be your baby  
And I promise not to let you go  
Love you like crazy  
Now say you'll never let me go  
Say you'll never let me go (say)  
Say you'll never let me go  
Say you'll never let me go (say)  
Say you'll never let me go_

 _Baby come on get up on it  
Show me that you really want it  
I wanna be the one to love you baby let's go (whoa)  
Let's go (whoa)_

 _I wanna provide this lovin' that your giving  
I ain't frontin' in this love,  
Can you let me love you from your head to toe (whoa)  
Let's go (whoa)_

 _Boy come to me (come to me)  
Let me turn your rain into sun (come to me babe)  
You don't have to worry baby (oh no)  
I promise I'll set your heart free  
Let my love into your soul  
You go, I go, we go, that's all she wrote_

 _Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never  
Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never  
Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never  
Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never_

 _Can't you see babe  
(Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never)  
(Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never)  
I just wanna love you  
(Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never)  
(Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never)_

 _Can't you fell me babe  
(Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never)  
(Say you'll, say say, say you'll, nev-never)  
I just wanna be with you  
I just wanna live for you  
I'll never let you go  
Free your love to me_

 _Come take my hand  
I won't let you go  
I'll be your friend  
I will love you so, deeply  
I will be the one to kiss you at night  
(Kiss you at night)  
I will love you until the end of time_

 _I'll be your baby  
I promise not to let you go  
Love you like crazy  
Now say you'll never let me go_

 _Say you'll never let me go (say)  
Say you'll never let me go  
Say you'll never let me go (say)  
Say you'll never let me go_

 _ **Post Note: To say that this fic quickly devolved into fluff of the highest intensity is not an understatement. At every turn I asked myself 'what would KILL me with feels if I saw it on television?' and this is the end result. I hope you guys enjoyed! Know that all your support and words of support mean everything, and as we head into our first weekend of the hiatus, know that I'm working on my two upcoming stories that will be thrown into the mix. Hopefully you guys will like those too, should you chose to read them. Until next time!**_


	58. Raindrops

**A/N: There's a heat wave in Storybrooke, one of the unforeseen consequences of returning from the underworld. Everyone's suffering from the high temps until a thunderstorm rolls in. Queue rain kiss and cute moment in the thunderstorm for CS and then eventual smut, because why not? Inspired by 'Raindrops' by Snbrn.**

Life in Storybrooke was very rarely the picture of perfection. As a town of heroes and villains alike, it had seen its ups and downs, but Emma would be hard pressed to remember a time quite like this. For a week now they'd been fighting off an oppressive opponent, only it wasn't a person – it was a weather pattern. Yup, their return from the Underworld was being heralded with the hottest week in the town's written record, and the people of Storybrooke were slowly descending into madness.

Today alone she'd thwarted a dwarf-led raid on the ice cream shop, two sloppy fistfights at Granny's, and had to remove grown adults from the sprinkler section set up for little kids in the local park. Never mind that she herself was caving to the heat induced insanity; she had to overcome, to prevail in a town seemingly uninterested in retaining their dignity.

"Emma, honey, did Elsa ever happen to mention anything about making it cold?" Her mother had asked her this in some form or other at least three times in the past hour, but the answer remained the same – no she did not know how to make huge ice monsters and a clinging cold with her magic. If she did, they'd be skating down the street right now.

"No Mom, we didn't happen to get that far. What with the impending curse and getting her home, it slipped my mind to ask how to make a snow storm." Perhaps she said the words with more harshness than she'd anticipated, but she couldn't help it. The air conditioner at the station was broken, making it just as hot here as it was outside. Her mother had literally stolen the fan from the back room and set it to rest just on her and Neal, and Emma still had thirty minutes left on her shift before her father would relieve her from duty.

"I just can't believe I can say that it's _actually_ hotter than hell." Henry's words from his perch in the corner where he was working on homework he'd missed during their Underworld quest. Emma highly doubted any actual work was being done, for the heat was impervious to productivity, but his joke helped break the tension for a moment, and a laugh from her and Snow made their way into the room.

"Well technically it wasn't hell, but a limbo with hellish tendencies." Emma couldn't imagine being happier to hear her father's voice. Yes, rationally she knew that she had heard it in more dire circumstances, but she was going to get Henry to Regina's and then head back home so she could stand in front of the open fridge for an hour, or something, _anything_ to combat this heat.

"Whatever it was, it was somehow more comfortable than this and we were surrounded by dead people with baggage and living under a red sky." Emma slapped a hand over her mouth, shocked that she'd said those words since they weren't exactly kind, but her parents and her son all laughed so she cut herself a break. She reached for the coat rack, only to realize that it was about thirty degrees too hot to need a jacket and she'd left hers at home. Henry picked up on how frazzled she was, and grabbed all his stuff quickly, bidding her parents good-bye and heading out into the world.

The sun was setting, and Emma prayed that would cool things down some, but she knew better than to think she could will some sort of weather change. Instead she made her way to Regina's with Henry as quickly as they could without expiring from the heat. As it was, walking the two blocks there felt like they'd run a marathon.

"Don't do anything drastic while I'm gone." Henry's joke had a hint of seriousness that had Emma nodding without laughter. Her son knew her well enough to realize that she became a bit of a monster when this uncomfortable. "Listen to Killian, he'll keep you from a total breakdown." Emma rolled her eyes.

"I think I can keep myself in check, kid." But Henry just raised his eye brows and crossed his arms over his chest as if to say _'Not likely.'_

"If this doesn't break by tomorrow, I'm writing us fair skies and a cool breeze." That had her smiling once more, for of course Henry wouldn't use his abilities for something like this. She kissed his forehead and watched him head in, before turning around and heading towards home. Once there, she exhaled a sigh of relief. After a long, sticky day, she was going to see Killian and get herself cool. Only one problem – Killian, the best part of her plan, wasn't there. On the front door there was a piece of paper with his signature cursive script scrawled on it.

 _Down at the docks, praying for the reprieve of a coastal wind. Back soon. – K_

"Not a bad idea, actually." Emma noted, but as she looked down the driveway and towards where she'd be walking, the exhaustion set in prematurely. Instead she _poofed_ to the spot on the docks where they always seemed to find themselves and there he was, staring out at the sea enjoying just the slight bit of cool and calm that came with it on a day this hot.

Emma took a moment to notice how little he'd actually changed about what he wore. Completely dedicated to wearing pants, whatever everyone else may be doing, he must have been sweltering in all that leather, but he had left the vest at home and agreed to only wear a black t-shirt instead of his usual long sleeves. It had been a hard battle for Emma to win, but the last thing she needed was Killian risking his health, and when she'd told him that, he's immediately conceded. Part of Emma kind of hoped the weather stayed, just so she could see him like this for a while longer.

"How did you manage a full day in the sun and have no sun burn at all?" Her question had him turning to face her and a smile lit up his face. He was used to her just appearing now, the more comfortable she got with her magic, and he didn't startle as her parents still often did. He shrugged, that handsome grin of his appearing.

"One of my many quirks I guess. Not a trait we share, I gather." Emma shook her head, allowing Killian to pull her close even if it was so hot out. Somehow, she felt cooler there than she had apart from him.

"I almost did my rounds with one of those big floppy hats grandmas wear to the beach, but I figured a little red under my eyes was better than the shame of such an accesory." He chuckled at that, and Emma knew he couldn't know what he was talking about specifically, but he could imagine.

"I'll take your word for it that a big floppy hat would indeed be an embarrassment. The heat at least will be gone soon. There's a storm coming." Emma looked into his eyes and saw his certainty there. This was surprising to Emma for she couldn't see a cloud in sight.

"How do you know that?" The way his whole manner changed from almost passive to sensual in a heartbeat told her some sort of innuendo or seduction was coming.

"My years of experience gave me more than just knowledge on how to please you love." Emma was sure that her blush still showed under her slight sunburn at his words, but he was right. Obviously centuries at sea would give him some insider knowledge into this stuff. "Though that is the ability I appreciate most about myself and I'm sure you'd agree." When she shook her head in disagreement he raised a brow skeptically.

"No, your best talent is the way you make me believe that everything's going to be alright. I love you for that, by the way." He ran his hand over her cheek.

"I know." She rolled her eyes, ready to chastise him for the corny Star Wars line he was always pulling out since watching the films with Henry but before she could, his lips were on hers and she instantly forgot the irritation. They were very good at this, there could be no doubting it, but the kiss gave her more than pleasure, it gave her peace, something that was a damn near impossible resource in the life of a savior. When they pulled apart, Emma noticed that the world was darker and a rumble of thunder came from directly above them. She looked up at the sky and felt a drop of rain hit her cheek. Looking back at Killian she smiled, eyes wide, amazed at what was happening.

"Did we…?" She didn't need to say the rest – they'd brought the storm faster somehow.

"Aye love, we did." Then he was kissing her again, neither of them stopping until the sky above them let loose and the intermittent droplets turned to a downpour. She could magic them away, but instead they'd chosen to run hand in hand back to their home.

They were completely soaked by the time they made it up the steps of the porch, but it felt like a blessing instead of a problem. Killian wrapped his arms around her as they looked back out into the storm, watching as thunder and lightening moved over their corner of the world, renewing the place that had been held under a heat siege for so long. With each crack of light that shot across the sky, Emma thought of the story Killian had told her about how he'd gotten back to her, and she wondered if this was Zeus' work too.

"I've always loved the rain, but thunderstorms are my favorite." Killian murmured his agreement.

"They are a marvel." Emma couldn't pull her eyes from the chaos unfurling around them, though she felt completely safe. Here, in Killian's arms, nothing could touch her. A few minutes later, Killian pulled back, taking her hand in his and leading her back inside. "Come, love. Much as I like a good storm myself, it would be most unfortunate to catch our death after just clawing back from such a state." Emma agreed and they headed back inside when inspiration struck.

"What if I told you there was a way for us to get that same rain feel without the potential health risks?" Killian smirked, no doubt gathering her intentions as she moved her hand underneath his now wet shirt.

"I'd say lead the way, my love." So she did, pulling him along with her up the stairs and down the hall, probably leaving a trail of water behind them, to their shower upstairs. Once there, she stripped away her clothes, loving the way his eyes were on her, tracking every move, but needing him to be with her in this.

"We don't wear clothes in the shower, Captain." The playful tone she used pulled a growl from him as he stripped off his own clothes, looking downright sinful as he did. Emma suddenly understood his own instinct to watch, but he wouldn't let her, pulling her towards him as soon as they were both bare and into the shower, already pouring down brilliantly warm water. It was funny how she could crave warmth after being stifled by the heat for so long.

"Since you're such an expert on these things, love, why don't you further instruct me on your expectations." The words shot to her core, filling her with need and arousal. He was far too attractive to keep her sane, but hell if she cared at this point. All that mattered were the magnificent feelings he could invoke and share with her. He was her magic, plain and simple. Pouring some body wash on her hands, she went to work on teasing him.

"Well it's pretty simple. We clean each other up, just to need cleaning all over again." She ran her hands along his body, down his chest until her hand came to circle around his cock. The way he boxed her in against the tile, using his hand to steady himself, told her that she was stealing the control he so often staked a claim over when they were together. She worked him, fascinated by her power over his desire until he grunted out a reminder.

"All this teasing might not seem as delightful to you when the tables turn, love." Emma's eyes grew wider, and she let out a gasp as he pressed against her the wall, running his hand across her body in quite the same way that she had with him. Instantly she agreed that she didn't want the teasing, but she took it anyway. With his fingers paying particular attention to her clit and filling her, Killian brought Emma to her own release. As she was coming back to herself, he lifted her up higher, her legs wrapping around his waist as he thrust in, filling her perfectly.

"Gods, I'll never get used to this." His admission had Emma's frenzy spiraling into more need, and she pulled him down to kiss her, matching thrust for thrust and driving them both to their much needed release. In the moments just after, when they were both still catching their breath, a loud rumble of thunder sounded through the house, and Emma smiled.

"I love this storm." Killian grinned, kissing her before shutting off the water and grabbing a towel to dry them off.

"I don't suppose I could interest you in spending the rest of our night in bed, love? I gather you'd rather dinner and a show." His eyes moved to look out the window at their night's entertainment and Emma nodded before leaning up to kiss him once more.

"Who says we can't have both?" And so they did, having a wonderful end to a nasty heat wave just the two of them and the undeniable love they had for each other.

…

 _Like raindrops from the desert sky  
For you I've be waiting_ _  
_ _Like seeing stars and endless nights  
For you I'll be waiting_ __

 _It's like I can breathe_ _  
_ _Finally_ _  
_ _Can we stay like this forever?_ __

 _Won't you take me over?_ _  
_ _Come a little bit closer_ _  
_ _A little bit closer_ _  
_ _And wake up together_ _  
_ _Bring me up from the under  
A little bit closer  
A little bit closer_ _  
_ _Can we stay like this forever?_ __

 _Like raindrops from the desert sky  
For you I've be waiting_ _  
_ _With your touch I come alive  
For you I'll be waiting_

 _ **Post-Note: I just needed some smuff today, especially since I started a new story yesterday and it's too early for any of it in that fic. I also wanted to pretend that the gang all got a bit of a break before Hyde comes to Storybrooke. Seriously, the premiere is likely going to pick up the next day or something crazy and I hate that. So I'm pretending they have some time to enjoy not being dead or separated before more bad comes in. I hope you guys liked it, and thanks as always for reading!**_


	59. Beating My Heart

_**A/N: Scene paralleling 4x21 on the docks when Killian talks to Emma about her parents. Only this time it's Killian having the problem. He's worried about the impending birth of their child. Will he be able to protect them? Will he be good enough to be all that they need? Emma has faith for both of them though, and it brings such adorable fluff. Inspired by 'Beating My Heart' by Jon McLaughlin.**_

Walking hand in hand with Emma towards the docks calmed some of the anxiety that had been clawing at Killian the past few months. Since she had said she was pregnant he'd never known such happiness or such fear. Emma, the love of his life, was going to have his child. She was going to be a mother again, and there no doubt that she would be bloody fantastic at it. More than that, they had a chance here to see a child born and raised. Emma had only been reunited with Henry when he was grown, and Killian met the boy even later, even if cared for Henry as if he was his own. This was a new adventure, one that was cause for much joy.

But Gods, what if he ruined it? What if he messed everything up, and left his child wanting? His own father had been terrible and the majority of Killian's life had been spent wasting away in a cycle of darkness and revenge.

Emma's hand squeezed his, pulling him back to the now, away from the swirling muck of uneasiness inside. She was his anchor, holding him in the light. Everything he did he did for her, he just wanted to make sure it was always enough. That she was happy and safe was everything to him. It didn't matter that they were true love, he wanted to be everything she needed without mistakes. She deserved the best.

"This is the part where you ask, _'what am I looking at?'_ just so you know." Killian couldn't help the smile that toyed at his lips at Emma's words. She was reminding him of the time he'd brought her here to talk about her parents, and she was using that terrible impression of his accent. It was always good for a laugh, but today that laughter didn't come. "It's the horizon, by the way. And no, it isn't doing something, I just thought you'd find it calming."

"It is," he supplemented, remembering her reply then. "So is rum." She handed him his own flask which was rarely filled anymore but still always on his person and he patted himself down, shocked that she had it. "Did you use magic to get this, love?"

"Didn't need it. I know a thing or two about thieving." This impressed Killian if he grew a bit concerned that he hadn't noticed her maneuver, but he took the flask from her all the same. "I'm going to say the same thing to you that you said to me that day. I can tell that you're heart is uneasy, and it _IS_ my job to protect your heart. I'm your wife and I love you, and I always will. But I need to know what's wrong. I promise I can help." He wasn't so sure, but he also couldn't deny her request.

"What if I mess this up, Emma? What if we have a baby and I'm terrible at it?" The questions hung in the air between them, but she waited him out, knowing there was more he was leaving unsaid. In the end he caved, confessing everything that needed saying. "I am trying to be a better man. Everyday I do my best to do you proud, to be the man that you deserve, and the man I want to be. I try to be good, I try to do the right thing, but a baby raises those stakes. There can be no room for misstep, because our child… our child will be everything, love. Hell I love them so much already, so much that I can't bear the thought of letting them down as my father did."

Only now did Emma raise her hand to his cheek, insisting that he look at her. He saw in the green depths no regret or pity, but love and certainty. In her gaze there lay acceptance, and support, something that he had been searching for his whole life. She was the answer to everything, so how could he fit in to a child's life and measure up to Emma as a mother? Her thumb ran lightly across the bottom of his lip and she smiled, the action calming so much of the worry swirling around inside of him.

"Do you know why we're going to be so great at this?" He shook his head. "Because we know everything _not_ to do. We are never letting this child grow up without them knowing that they are loved and protected. We are going to fight every step of the way not just to give them their best chance, but to be there with them during it. All of the love that your father denied you, all the hurt that being an orphan brought, we're letting all of that go." These were powerful words from Emma, someone he knew had suffered the harsh realities of a life without love as a child. Where he had Liam, she'd been alone, and though she didn't sound sad or remorseful, the reminder was enough to strengthen Killian's resolve. He could be the presence that both Emma and this child needed. Still she went on, having more to say about his capabilities.

"This is our second chance, and yes we will make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. But I trust you and me both to know the difference between right and wrong, between love and fear. Think of everything we've faced so far as practice. We can do this. _You_ can do this." Her assuredness was staggering, and as though her words themselves held a healing sort of magic, he felt the doubts fall away. It was clear now, that he was being too hard on himself. There was nothing saying that they had to have everything figured out. Hell, when had life ever gone completely according to plan in this family? Taking her hand in his, he kissed it gently, trying to show her just how much her faith in him meant.

"Time has made you an optimist, Swan."

"No, love has made me an optimist. _Your_ love. I can't do this without you, Killian, so whatever happens, whether you're scared or second-guessing or whatever, we do this as a team. If my memory serves we make 'quite' a good one." There was that little accent again and he couldn't help but laugh, loving the softer playfulness that had come to be their norm as time had passed.

"So we should have no fears at all about the new baby?" Her responding facial expression and scoff made the smile at his lips grow wider.

"Are you kidding? There's tons of stuff to worry about. My parents for one thing. Doesn't matter that they just had their first baby to raise themselves, you know they're going to be all in with that grandparent wisdom. Mom's already bought a dozen books just in case it's a girl and the ones she has for Neal don't work as well. Plus kids TV shows these days are pretty crazy, and every morning I find new articles with '10 things to support a healthy baby' that just contradict one another. It's going to be messy, and we will be very worried, probably all of the time." Killian murmured that most of the things on the television were mad, which made Emma laugh. She leaned her back against his chest as they continued to look out into the beyond.

"What else love?" She considered for a minute before continuing.

"Well we seemed to have turned a corner on morning sickness, which means soon I'll get cravings."

" _Cravings_?" Killian asked with all sorts of sexual innuendo.

"Yup. For food and for sex. I read online that pregnant women often double their regular level of sexual activity." Suddenly all Killian could think was that he wanted to get her home, but he didn't want to risk ending this lovely moment she'd given them.

"That is a challenge, seeing as how much you want me already."

"I think you're up to it," she replied with a smirk and he kissed her before pulling back.

"So it stops with the cravings?" She groaned.

"God I wish. Pregnancy would be awesome if that was it. But no, I'm gonna get huge, as in very big, waddling around all over the place. My ankles will swell, my back will hurt, I'll likely be fluctuating between horny and angry all the time, so sorry about that." She intertwined their hands, linking their fingers together as if it were the most natural thing, and seeing their wedding rings he realized that it was. His heart beat just a bit faster at it.

"No need for apologies love. But I have been wondering, any magical leanings towards a boy or a girl?" Emma shook her head.

"No, I keep dreaming about both honestly, so I guess we'll have to wait until we can get over to Whale to figure it out."

"You've been dreaming about them?" He asked, a bit of concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I have, a couple of times… you don't think?"

"That our magical true love babies would cause you to have prophetic dreams? Yes, love, I actually find it probable." Emma turned in his embrace, clutching at his jacket.

"You really think we could be having two?" Killian shrugged.

"Do you have any reason to believe that impossible?"

"No. But this totally changes the game. We are in for a whole new world of trouble if there's two of them, Captain." He smiled, kissing her once more, this time to the one to distract her from her concerns. He brought her hand to his chest, right above his heart when they pulled apart.

"As long as this heart beats, it beats for you and our family, Emma. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't. I love you," she said, nuzzling into his chest for one last look out into the sea beyod.

"I love you too, Emma," he assured her.

….

 _There are times every now and then  
I forget why I'm breathing out  
And why I'm breathing in_

 _And I get so sick with the little things  
I can't relax when it's happening  
To know what it means  
It means_

 _And then I open my eyes  
And I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart  
Look at the sky  
I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart_

 _I go extra miles to show  
That you are the one thing that I've got  
Look at the sky  
I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart_

 _There's a sun coming over the horizon  
I wanna know where it's coming from  
But doesn't everyone  
It's like who am I and why am I here_

 _This whole world will take me down  
Without you standing by my side, my side  
You're holding onto me  
You're making everything inside  
Come alive_

 _And then I open my eyes  
And I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart  
Look at the sky  
I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart_

 _I go extra miles to show  
That you are the one thing that I've got  
Look at the sky  
I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart_

 _This whole world will take me down  
Without you standing by my side, my side  
You're holding onto me  
You're making everything inside  
Come alive_

 _And then I open my eyes  
And I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart  
Look at the sky  
I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart_

 _I go extra miles to show  
That you are the one thing that I've got  
Look at the sky  
I know you're beating my heart  
Beating my heart_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a small little fic to round out my day. I needed some more baby fluff since it's kind of been a stressful week. This was a perfect remedy though. Hope you guys enjoy and as always, thanks for reading!**_


	60. Gold Rays

**A/N: Today's addition to the mix tape is a really short fic set a few years in the future where The Charming and the Jones families go to the beach on a warm summer day. In honor of the impending summer around here, I had to make good on a family beach day fic. I hinted at one earlier in the mixtape, and it's nice to finally have it written. There will be baby fluff and family fluff galore, so I hope you all enjoy! Inspired by the song 'Gold Rays' by Vinyl Pinups.**

Sun, sand, and surf – definitely not a bad way to spend one's Sunday. As Emma looked around the corner of the beach their family had staked out, she couldn't help but smile. Things were going really well, and that happily ever after they'd been fighting for all these years seemed to finally be here, at least for the most part. As heroes protecting this world from the reaches of magic, there would always be foes to ward off, but the Universe seemed to grant them a bit more leisure. Instances were growing scarcer, opponents less daunting, and that made the fears that had once plagued Emma all but disappear.

"Mama, look at me, I can do a cartwheel just like Ava!" Emma's five year old, Hope was so excited, and though her execution was a little lacking, she had indeed managed to do a cartwheel. Her curly brown hair had escaped it's hair tie, and was whipping about from the coastal breeze, but it didn't shield the happiness from her hazel eyes. She was always following her 'Auntie Ava' in whatever the girl did. It didn't matter that they were only a few months apart in age, to Hope, Ava was the end all be all of cool.

"Nice job, honey. Just not so close to Grandma next time." Hope had very nearly kicked Snow in the face, and that was the last thing they needed, a beach day ruined by her injured Mom. Snow shot Emma a grateful glance before turning her attention back to Neal who was swimming.

"David, can you-" But before she could finish the question, Emma's father was already moving from his spot beside her on their blanket.

"Already on it." Her Dad made his way into the ocean himself to make sure a now seven year old Neal didn't get too far. Safe as this beach typically was, Maine had some riptides, and Neal wasn't a strong enough swimmer if they came.

Thumping on the edge of the blanket that Emma currently sat on pulled her attention from her younger brother and her father and onto the newest addition of the Jones family. Little Liam had been born almost two years ago, and though he had his mother's blonde hair, he had his father's mischievousness and lopsided grin. He was going to be a looker someday, and today he had his mother and father wrapped tightly around his little finger.

"Castle! Castle! Castle!" Little Liam's repetition signaled that he now wanted her to flip the toy shell he'd filled up with sand. That her son was terrible at compacting sand, didn't matter, she used a little magic to discretely firm things up and brought the castle to rest on the sand. He clapped happily, in that way two year olds often did, murmuring to himself before standing up and trampling the little castle. His laughter still stayed in that range of baby giggles, and it warmed Emma's heart just to hear it. Having her kids happy was everything to her, and knowing that their older brother Henry was just as excited about the summer program he'd stayed on for at college (yes, her son was in college now, and yes that was terrifying), made the separation from him a little easier.

After a few more rounds of kick the castle, Liam seemed to realize his older sister and Aunt were making a castle of their own, only far bigger down closer to surf. He teetered off to follow them, and Emma smiled, watching how even when he smashed the castle there as well, Hope never got angry with him. Instead she hugged him and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Through the breeze Emma could here her call him her _'favorite little brother.'_ The idea that Hope had a favorite when she only had one younger sibling had Emma's hand coming over her stomach absentmindedly. She could really see them with just one more kid, after all.

"I think we've told him one too many stories about a pirate and a princess climbing a beanstalk and defeating a giant love." Killian's words were filled with humor and happiness, the best combination as far as she was concerned, as they brought her back from the extended fantasy of having another child. Throw in the fact that he was shirtless in a bathing suit from this world and wearing sunglasses when she looked at him, and she was pretty much a goner. God what she would have done to him if they were alone on this beach… she'd make good on the dream she'd just been having while intertwining a couple of other, far dirtier fantasies as well.

"Those are dangerous thoughts there, Swan, but soon enough I'll give you some special memories on the sands." He whispered the words low enough that no one else heard, but it still sent a chill through Emma. Her husband was not one for empty promises.

"Think we'll ever get them to sit still enough to eat?" Emma asked, only half concerned.

"Cover your ears, love." She did immediately, knowing what was coming was a sharp whistle from Killian, which had little wobbling Liam taking Hope's hand as she and Ava came running over quickly. Even Neal and David were heading back to the shore at the sounding of that shrill noise. How he ever managed to get them to listen to him, she would never know. These children were stubborn and adventurous just like their parents, but Killian always knew just how to get their attention.

"Are we going on another mission, Daddy?" Hope asked excitedly and Killian nodded, reaching for the cooler they'd brought with them.

"Aye love, quite possibly our most important yet. We are going to eat our lunches, vegetables and all." Hope grinned, while Ava groaned.

"I hate vegetables!" Emma's mother harrumphed, which was enough for Emma's little sister to correct herself. "I mean I _greatly dislike_ vegetables."

"Tweasure?" Liam asked as he came right before Killian and put his hand on his father's cheek, patting it gently. Emma muffled a laugh at the action as Killian arched a brow to Emma in silent question. When she nodded, Killian had his answer.

"Any good sailor who eats all their lunch can have ice cream later." The cheers of the children made Emma smile. If there was one thing she knew for sure about her kids, it was that they would walk through hell for an ice cream cone.

"I can make my sandwich burn. Wanna see?" Hope asked nonchalantly, but Emma knew better than to take that tone at face value. Her daughter was already strong with her magic, far stronger than Neal or Ava, and this was no empty proposition.

"No! Hope, you know the rules." Her daughter sighed.

"Only magic during lessons with you or Regina. But I want the cheese to get melty. It's better that way." Killian laughed at that and Emma looked at him.

"They are your children through and through, Swan." Emma rolled her eyes as she took Hope's sandwich and waved over it with her own magic to make a grilled cheese. Her daughter profusely thanked her and dug in as Emma turned back to Killian, responding to his claims.

"Oh come on, they literally just rejoiced at the thought of treasure, and suddenly their just mine? How easily you foist them off." Even through the sunglasses, Emma could see the intensity in Killian's eyes and his posture change slightly. Oh no, she'd played with fire, and now it was her and not the sandwich that was about to get burned.

"Run Mommy!" Hope squealed, well enough acquainted with her father's tendencies for carrying his wife off to places, and she heeded her daughter's advice, jumping up from the blanket with record speed. Liam watched with mild interest as he shoved him chocolate pudding on his face but didn't take the same delight Hope did until Killian caught Emma, and hauled them both to the water. Even if she knew what she was in for, Emma was still startled by the cold, but then relished the relief it brought for the heat of the sun.

"You are a total caveman, do you realize that?" Killian's arms were now wrapped around her as he stood behind her in the water. It felt really good to be honest.

"Aye but I'm yours love, and you rather like it, don't you?" Hell yes she did. She loved him, and the life they had together. They had managed to achieve the impossible – they had taken their lives as sad and lonely people and made a future that still took her breath away. Turning in his embrace, she kissed him quickly.

"I do, but you made a miscalculation, and I guarantee when we get up there we will find all of those carrots and celery buried in the sand. Killian grinned, and now that his sunglasses were gone, she saw the true happiness in them.

"I planned ahead love. There are more than enough to go around, even for our resistant children."

"I want to have another baby." The words tumbled past her lips before Emma could think that perhaps this wasn't the best time to bring up such a thing, but Killian only grinned, hugging her closer and bringing his lips down to hers to kiss her again, this time with more passion.

"And I want to give you the entire world love. But I hardly think we can start right now." Emma pulled him by the hand out of the water, knowing that was true, but not before murmuring that tonight was a whole different story. He readily agreed and when they'd reached the kids once more, Killian raised Liam high in his arms and attempted to clean the horrible mess he's made of himself. That devolved into playing with both Liam and Hope together until the kids turned their attention to looking for sea life with their grandfather. Once Killian returned, Emma leaned against him, happy to be in this moment and in this life with him at her side.

"God I love you." Her confession was hardly news, but he kissed her all the same.

"I know. I love you just the same, Emma." And with that and enjoyed the rest of the day spent under the golden rays of the sun, thoroughly immersed in the wonder and beauty that was their happily ever after.

…..

 _Ooh I got this feeling_

 _Ooh you got me beaming_

 _I'm walking on Gold Rays_

 _A feeling that I can't shake_

 _You put the smile on my face like the sunshine_

 _I won't cry cry cry_

 _Cause you're mine all mine_

 _You put the smile on my face like the sunshine_

 _I won't cry cry cry_

 _Cause you mi-i-ne_

 _Ooh I got this feeling_

 _I'm barely breathing_

 _You get to me the good way_

 _A feeling that I can't explain_

 _You put the smile on my face like the sunshine_

 _I won't cry cry cry_

 _Cause you're mine all mine_

 _You put the smile on my face like the sunshine_

 _I won't cry cry cry_

 _Cause you're mi-i-ne_

 _You put the smile on my face like the sunshine_

 _I won't cry cry cry_

 _Cause you're mine all mine_

 _You put the smile on my face like the sunshine_

 _I won't cry cry cry_

 _Cause you're mi-i-ne_

 _You put the smile on my face like the sunshine_

 _I won't cry cry cry_

 _Cause you're mine all mine_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it, just a little tiny fic of fun and sun and family adorableness. Hopefully you guys liked it, and thank you thank you thank you for reading!**_


	61. Superstitious

_**A/N: CS family fic a few years from now. Just a morning in the life of the Jones family that ends up evolving into a funny moment. Inspired lightly by the chorus of MKTO's "Superstitious" and also the group of kids I passed in Starbucks lugging huge Psychology text books today. Hope you enjoy!**_

Marrying a pirate had definite advantages, ones that Emma Swan had come to understand over her past few years with Killian. For one, her husband was extremely stealthy. In the face of villains or more mundane problems, that came in handy. With their kids especially, his tendency towards slyness solved problems before they even arose. Whether it was sneaking vegetables into their meals, or distracting them from a broken toy, Killian was always fit for the task. And of course there was the exceptional hotness and whole bad boy look with a heart of gold thing. That was a given plus of marrying a Killian Jones.

But there were other things that came along when you lived with a man who'd lived on the seas for centuries, none quite as striking as his belief in many a superstition. Thanks to the sheer amount of time they'd spent together, and to Killian's increased immersion into this world, Killian had started to let some of the rituals go. There was no need to try and protect the family from a sea monster for instance. Still, every once in a while signs of Killian's old habits turned up reminding Emma that they really had come from different worlds entirely.

When the wind chime broke for instance, and Emma tried to fix it, Killian wouldn't let her, insisting it must be disposed of properly and another procured. Or how each month, a new assortment of shells found their way into the dirt patch in the garden just by the front steps of the house. The designs were swirled and intricate, said to ward off ill health, and even if Killian didn't think they had so much power in this world, he still went about collecting them for his family. It set his mind at ease, and it was no real inconvenience. If anything, Emma had started to assimilate some of the thoughts, often knowing how to fix the thing herself before her husband found it to worry over and she had to admit that it made one feel slightly more in control.

In all that time though, Emma never considered the fact that her children might notice these different tendencies until one morning, out of the blue when her daughter Hope made note of it just before breakfast.

"Daddy, why do you line all the forks up like that?" Hope no doubt meant the fact that they were arranged by size within the drawer as he pulled them from the dishwasher as the last of their breakfast finished cooking.

"We like a clean ship around here, don't we, love?" Hope nodded and Killian smiled. "Well there's your answer." He went about putting the rest of the items away around the kitchen, as Hope watched with more interest than she normally did. This didn't escape Emma's notice as she fed little Liam who was his typical calm self in the face of food. He was, really and truly, the least fussy baby in the entire world, only making a grunting sound and raising his hands when he saw Henry walk into the room.

Home for a break from college, Henry wore his backpack, clearly off to the library for the day to do some more studying, but not before sitting at the table for breakfast with the others. As Killian brought all that he'd made over to the table Hope gave a sad little sigh as she put her hand on Henry's arm, looking at him like the world might very well be ending.

"Henry, I think Daddy has BCD." No one understood what she meant. What a strange thing to say, to Henry of all people.

"What do you mean, honey?" Emma asked, sincerely trying to understand the sullen change that had come over her daughter.

"Daddy likes to keep _mah-pic-ulous_ care of his objects and puts them all in order all the time." Killian's eyebrow rose at the assessment but he wasn't thrown off enough to not correct her mispronunciation.

"Meticulous, love."

"See, he has impulses! He has to make things right all the time." Another beat of confusion passed until Henry laughed, and responded.

"I think you mean OCD." Hope shook her head.

"No BCD, like A-B-C-D. In order with the alphabet." Emma smiled despite still not having any understanding of what was going on when Henry filled her and Killian in.

"I have a Psych test next week and Hope came in my room while I was studying. I thought she was reading her book, but I guess she was listening to me go through all the symptoms of some of the more common illnesses." Now it finally made sense, and Emma could very well believe that her five-year-old daughter had sucked all those terms in like a sponge. Hope was nothing if not hyper vigilant of every little detail.

"Honey, Daddy doesn't have OCD. He just likes things a certain way. Trust me, there's a difference." Hope looked doubtful.

"I don't know, Daddy always gives me three kisses before bed. Three. Every time. Not one, not two, _three_. And Henry's book said that can happen too." Finally ready to remedy her worries, Killian picked Hope up from her chair and brought her into his arms. She squealed with delight and he dropped kiss after kiss on her cheeks and nose and forehead. She pretended to get away but Emma counted ten solid kisses before he let her go.

"See that love, nothing to be afraid of. I could give you a thousand kisses if you let me." Back in her seat once more, Hope considered the offer as she reached for her fork and picked up a bit of her eggs. This was a sign that she was well convinced of her own misdiagnosis and ready to return to normal.

"I can give you five, Daddy. Five is enough." Killian smiled before sitting beside Emma and leaning in to kiss her temple.

"Hear that, Swan? I can have five whole kisses." When Hope rolled her eyes, the spitting image of Emma, everyone laughed and the day went on just as it was before. It wasn't until hours later, when the kids were all asleep that Emma and Killian brought up the moment once more.

"So, Hope made a new rule today. I can only kiss her five times. Now I must ask if her mother has the same rule." With his hands moving over her body, Emma couldn't stand the idea of only five.

"Her mother might just kill you if you stop at five." With a roguish grin, he set upon satisfying his wife, and took special care to count each and every kiss he gave her all night long. Just before bed, he made note of the count and vowed he'd do better the next day. Emma could only hope that he'd make good on his word.

…

 _Give me some good love_ _  
_ _And grant these wishes_ _  
_ _1_ _\- I just wanna make you my Mrs_ _  
_ _2, 3_ _\- It's you and me, are you with this?_ _  
_ _Yeah, we can go the distance_ __

 _You and I, in my mind_ _  
_ _Don't nobody pinch me_ _  
_ _It's so good, knock on wood_ _  
_ _Crossing fingers, baby_ _  
_ _We could make it last forever_ _  
_ _Never look back_ _  
_ _Don't wanna close my eyes and miss this_ _  
_ _You got me superstitious_

 _ **Post-Note: I was originally going to update one of my existing stories today, but the day got away from me and I had nearly no time. But then listening to this song on my way home sparked this baby ficlet idea and I had to write it. I hope you guys enjoy and that you all have lovely weekends! Thanks for reading!**_


	62. In My Head

_**A/N: A small little fic sparked by the fact that 'Like You Do' is ending soon and by an encounter with this song ('In My Head' by Jason Derullo) recently on the radio. It's a tiny flirtation with an AU where Killian and Emma are in a college class together and Killian has been admiring her from afar, daydreaming all semester about her. She calls him out on it and asks him to get some coffee. Expect fluff and cuteness!**_

Monotonous - that was the word Killian Jones would use to describe Professor Sullivan's statistics class. Each and every day, class went just the same. They took a chapter from the text, the old man talked about it ad nauseam, and they ended the session just as clueless as to real statistics as they started. This was the simplest level of math, an easy A, and in many ways a waste of his time. Except for one thing… Emma Swan was in this class, and any moment Killian got to spend in her presence was one he valued more than he could say.

To claim she was a vision of beauty was an understatement but in all his time knowing her, Killian had yet to find the words that did her justice. With lovely golden hair, expressive green eyes, a mouth made for kissing, and the slightest flush that crossed her cheeks whenever she felt too on display, she was magnificent.

Killian spent hours thinking about what it would be like to run his fingers through that luscious hair, to kiss those lips, to move his hands across her body, driving her as crazy as he was with wanting and desire. Killian wanted to know if she'd flush the same way in the throws of passion, and if her voice, already sexy as hell, would add a little gravel or a touch of breathiness as he tried to give her every possible form of satisfaction. The thoughts kept him up at night and distracted him at all hours of the day.

But Emma was so much more than just a pretty face. Smart as a whip, feisty as all hell, and exceedingly kind, Emma brought together every good feature into one impossible being. In truth, he'd never met another person like her, and doubted he ever would again. The only problem was that he couldn't seem to gather enough bloody courage to talk to her. Every time he tried, he faltered, uncertain of himself where he never had been before.

In his mind though… well there he wasn't lacking in bravery. He'd thought up a hundred ways to introduce himself, to speak to her, sure that if he could only start, things would be different. Maybe then she would see him as more than the stupid jock in half her classes. Not that she ever made him feel that way. On the few occasions that they'd interacted in a class discussion, she regarded him with nothing but civility and politeness. She didn't talk down to him, and didn't hold his propensity for sports against him as so many of the non-athletes on campus often did.

Despite that though, Emma was still untouchable. As if guarded behind walls, she stayed far from him when all he wanted, all he craved, was closeness. What must it be like to really know her? Was she as funny as he believed her to be? Did she have any idea how lovely she was, or did she truly think that she was blending into the crowd behind those cute black glasses? In order to find all that out, Killian needed access and to this point, he'd yet to find it. Now, all he wanted was for her to see him, for maybe then he'd have his chance.

As if he'd willed it into happening, she looked up from across the room and caught him staring. Transfixed by the smile that spread across her lips and the brow that arched in silent questioning, he didn't look away, likely making a fool of himself, but Gods if he could muster the strength to tamper down these urges, he would have by now. Instead he grinned like an idiot wishing he could do more.

"Mister Jones. Mister Jones!" Killian looked away to find Professor Sullivan just before him, giving him an angry look. "I do hope I'm not boring you with the particulars of logarithms, but even if I am, you could at least feign interest."

"Sorry, sir." Only he wasn't, not even a little bit. In fact, he couldn't keep the smile off of his face, so joyous at the moment that had passed with Emma that he'd nearly lost his mind. That only angered Professor Sullivan more though, and pushed the man to his breaking point.

"I don't believe you are Jones, so until you can muster more respect for me and my class, I want you to leave." Killian blinked at the man, but then shrugged. There would be no changing his mind realistically, so why waste the breath. Gathering his things he ducked out of the door and headed into the hallway. Once outside of the building, the reality of the situation hit him and he groaned. Emma must think so poorly of him now and now he was in a worse place than where he'd started. Killian ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

" _Hey!"_ The voice from behind him sounded an awful lot like Emma's, and though Killian dared not hope that it would be, he turned all the same. When she looked back at him, walking with her own books in hand toward him, he lost all command over his mouth, blurting out his thoughts as they were.

"What are you doing here?" The way he said it lacked finesse, coming out a bit harsher than he meant and he immediately regretted it. She deserved him at his best only he couldn't seem to muster it, thrown off as he was. The question didn't deter her though, as Emma shyly smiled and tucked a strand of that blonde hair behind her ear. After a beat she spoke again.

"Were you just going to stare at me all day, or did you have something to say?"

"Um, I, was, well…" Bloody hell, he couldn't think straight and he knew he must be beet red with embarrassment. She laughed lightly, in an almost musical way and his heartbeat sped up faster than the already blatantly obvious hammering.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, it's just that-"

"It's just that you've been watching me all year but you never can seem to find your words. That's okay, the stammering and bashful thing really works for you." He laughed, in spite of all the nerves swirling through him, and finally, miraculously, he seemed to pull it together.

"Been that obvious have I?" She shrugged.

"Well that all depends. I think you've been meaning to ask me out, but maybe you just find me completely hideous."

"You're the opposite of hideous." _And I think I'm in love with you,_ he thought to himself, glad at least he was able to bite those words back.

"So… coffee?" She asked with a smile and he responded with one of his own.

"Coffee sounds great."

Coffee of course turned to so much more, and Killian found that the girl he'd dreamed up couldn't hold a candle to the real Emma Swan. Loving her in real life was far and away better than loving her in his head ever had been. Lucky for Killian, Emma Swan was just as taken with him as he was with her, and the happy imaginings of a life spent with her by his side, the ones he'd concocted in his head, they all came true.

….

 _Everybody's lookin' for love, oh, oh  
Ain't that the reason you're at this club, oh, oh  
You ain't gon' find it dancing with him, no oh  
I got a better solution for you, girl, oh, oh  
Just leave with me now  
Say the word and we'll go  
I'll be your teacher; I'll show you the ropes  
You'll see a side of love you've never known  
I can see it going down,going down  
In my head, I see you all over me,  
In my head, you fulfill my fantasy  
In my head, you'll be screamin', ooooh  
In my head, it's goin' down  
In my head, it's goin' down_

 _Some dudes know all the right things to say eh eh  
When it comes down to it, it's all just game yeah  
Instead of talkin', let me demonstrate, yeah  
Get down to business and skip foreplay  
Ay yeah  
Just leave with me now  
Say the word and we'll go (we can go)  
I'll be your teacher; I'll show you the ropes (show you the ropes)  
You'll see a side of love you've never known  
I can see it goin' down, we're goin' down  
In my head, I see you all over me  
In my head, you fulfill my fantasy  
In my head, you'll be screamin' ooooh  
In my head, it's goin' down  
In my head, it's goin' down  
In my head,_

 _Break it down  
whoahh whoahh ooohhhh  
sing it to me baby in my head right now  
whoahh whoahh ooohhhh  
She'll be screamin' out when it all goes down_

 _Just leave with me now  
Say the word and we'll go (we can go)  
I'll be your teacher; I'll show you the ropes (you the ropes)  
You'll see a side of love you've never known (never known)_

 _I can see it goin' down, we're goin' down  
In my head, I see you all over me  
In my head, you fufill my fantasy  
In my head, you'll be screamin' ooooh_

 _In my head, it's goin' down  
In my head, it's goin' down  
In my head, I see you all over me  
In my head, you fu' fill my fantasy_

 _In my head, you'll be screamin' out  
In my head, it's goin' down  
In my head, it's goin' down_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it. Just some last minute fluff that brings me back to a CS College AU done in a slightly different way. Hope you guys liked it, and happy Monday!**_


	63. My Love

_**A/N: Just a little fic where Emma plans a date for her and Killian during the beginning of season 6 (no actual spoilers, since it's hiatus and there are none yet), but everything goes to shit the night of and they end up having to fight a big bad villain. This scene takes place when they come home from their impromptu battle. Expect cuteness and smut despite the craziness around them. Inspired by the song 'My Love' by Jess Glynne. Rated M.**_

Walking back up the front steps of their house, Emma huffed out an annoyed breath. What was supposed to be a lovely evening and her chance to show Killian that she _could_ in fact plan a date had devolved into another run in with evil. It was typical and to be expected, but upsetting nonetheless. Now she was standing here in the black dress she'd worn expecting a nice seafood dinner and a stroll under the stars. For her intended night out, it was the perfect outfit. It was _not_ , however, the proper attire for fighting a crazy strong and clearly insane person and their band of followers, and as a result, the dress was pretty near ruined, covered in dirt and ripped in more than one place. At least it had been their only casualty tonight.

"Not exactly how you envisioned the evening I'm sure, love." Killian's hand against the small of her back as they closed the front door behind them felt so good. He'd been there with her every step of the way tonight, fighting by her side. At first she'd been terrified. She'd lost him too many times to be okay risking his safety again, but in the end, she needed him and he needed to be there for his peace of mind too. Emma looked up into his patient blue eyes and felt herself melt into the love she saw there.

"No, definitely not my intended plan." He smiled, bringing her closer to him.

"Whatever it was, I'm sure it was lovely." She let her head come to rest on his chest, wrapping herself up in his warmth and his scent and the safety that came when in his embrace. In that moment, something dawned on her. This date that she'd been planning all week, it could never have been as lovely as they were. They didn't need the grand gestures and typical date night. She had affirmation day in and day out of Killian's love for her, and that was more than enough.

"How do you do it?" Emma pulled back to look into Killian's now confused gaze. "How do you take what by any other standard would be considered a bad day and make it good?" He smiled, that boyish grin that came when he was feeling just a little bashful and scratched behind his ear.

"Well, Swan, I suppose it's because you love me, and love is a magic stronger than any deranged lunatic running through town." Emma laughed, and yeah, that lunatic was still a problem, one they would face tomorrow, and likely the next day and the one after that. But unlike before, when they'd battled Pan and King Arthur, and Hades, Emma was confident that this would work, and that she and Killian would get through it. Until then, she'd take this moment and make it her own. Grasping his hand in hers, she pulled him through the house into the kitchen and urged him to sit while she set out to prepare a meal for them.

"Any suggestions for the chef?" she asked, more playfulness in her voice than she'd ever imagined after a night like this one.

"Emma love, there's no need to trouble yourself. Surely you're tired. You did a lot of fighting tonight, more than any of the rest of us." That was true, she couldn't deny that, but as she gathered the ingredients to make them a simple mac and cheese, Emma felt that tension from her body ease away. Grounded in the normalcy, and in the intimate peace that came from such a domestic display, Emma could only smile at him.

"We both need to eat, Killian. Need to keep our strength up." Killian huffed a bit, puffing out his chest as he tore off his jacket and placed it on the chair beside him. That he'd had his feelings a little hurt at the suggestion made her smile grow wider.

"I assure you I am more than able to fight by your side Emma." She came around the island at his words and placed her hand to his chest. Whispering low, despite the fact that there was no one else there with them, she watched his eyes for the expected response.

"Fighting at my side is not the _only_ thing you need the strength for if you catch my drift." As understanding washed over him, Emma watched the stubbornness melt away to an undeniable heat and she shivered in anticipation, wanting nothing more than to drag him upstairs and strip off the clothes between them. After everything that happened tonight, she wanted a physical reminder that they were here and alive and together. She bit her lower lip to keep from kissing him and he let out a low growl.

"Keep looking at me like that, love, and we'll have to forsake your plan for dinner, and skip right to dessert." If that promise was an attempt to deter her, he was in for a surprise as she closed the space between them, bringing his lips down to hers for a scorching kiss. Food could wait; right now she needed this. In a mess of limbs and with adrenaline-fueled movements, Killian and Emma stripped away the layers standing between them. As more and more of Killian's bare skin became visible, Emma's hunger for him grew and her control over her desire began to snap. Funny how that only ever happened with him.

"If you need a change of location, this is your time to tell me, Captain." Killian's eyes flashed with a surge of lust at her use of his title and in a graceful movement he lifted her up prompting her legs to wrap around his waist. All that separated her sex from his cock was the thin layer of her panties and the rough feel of his pants. It drove her crazy, and she wanted so much more. Rocking against him achieving that delicious friction caused her to moan and Killian to curse.

" _Fuck_ , Emma! Use me like that and this will all be over so much sooner than you want." Helpless to do anything but continue on this quest to release, she arched and bucked against him, reveling in the way the fabric moved across her clit. She was starting to lose it, but there was still too much between them. As if knowing exactly what she wanted, Killian pushed her against the wall, the hard surface against her back supporting her as he brought out his hook and grinned. Before Emma could say anything, he'd used the sharp point to tear through the lace and expose her fully to him.

"Killian!" She groaned out his name, completely turned on from the action, if a little frustrated. He'd gotten into the habit of tearing things off of her recently, and she was slowly running out of underwear. It's not like she could just run on a quick shopping trip and replace them. They had evil to fight at all hours of the day.

"Come now, Emma. There's no room for deceit here, I know you love it." She sighed into the feel of his hand coming up to play with her breast and her head fell back against the wall. Using her opening to his advantage, Killian kissed at her neck, with scrapes of his teeth and the gentle caress of his tongue after he drove her mad while fueling the fire coursing within her. Emma's hands meanwhile unbuttoned his pants and pushed down, needing him with her. Emma knew he would want to keep this about her, seeking ut her pleasure while he remained patient, but she didn't want that. At least not just yet, so instead she pulled his cock in hand and stroked with precision. She needed him just as out of control to get what she wanted, which was him inside her right now.

"I love it, but I love you more. So give me everything, Killian. _Please_." The plea was his final straw and had him surrendering to the chemistry between them. With a solid thrust he was inside and Emma clawed at his back, trying to get better access. Her touch had him groaning out her name as he gave her more, harder, faster, unbelievably better than any sex ever had a right to be. Lost in the dizzying pleasure of his movements and then blissful at the graze of his thumb across her clit, Emma spiraled into a climax so strong it pulled Killian with her.

In the aftermath, both Emma and Killian tried to steady their breathing, grasping onto each other, unable to let go. Every doubt and fear and worry that Emma had been faced with tonight was fully gone, obliterated from her consciousness. Where those thoughts had once resided, there was only love, and it made her smile. They'd been through the ringer together. They'd faced countless demons, both internal and physical. They had even faced death and through divine intervention had made it back. Somehow, they always made it through and Emma knew it was love that got them there, and that it was love that would continue to save them from here on out.

"What's that look for, love?" She kissed him tenderly as he set her feet back down on the ground.

"For you. In case I don't say it enough, you're everything for me. Having this means that I've got it all. I finally have that happily ever after everyone's always talking about." His hand came up to intertwine with hers, his fingers flexing before he brought hers up to his lips. The lightest kiss on her knuckles felt just as intimate as everything they'd just shared, and Emma knew a flush must be crossing over her cheeks.

"You asked me how I make the bad days good. It's the same way you took this blackened heart and made it gold. Everything I am, everything I do is for you now, Emma." The words filled her with the greatest sense of happiness, but just before she was about to speak, her stomach grumbled, angry with her for denying them both dinner despite the lateness of the hour and Killian chuckled, kissing her cheek lightly.

"We've had a taste of dessert, love. Best to find some actual sustenance." Emma bit back a comment about how sex with him alone could probably sustain her for a good week. It would have been fruitless to argue, after all. If she knew anything about Killian, it was that his protectiveness could not be overcome. Right now, the enemy was her hunger, and he would never back down from any foe that threatened her.

As Killian took up the call of making dinner in just his leather pants, Emma slipped into his now discarded shirt and smiled, enjoying the view as she watched her incredibly hot pirate boyfriend make her mac and cheese. This definitely made all the chaos swirling around them worth it. To think she'd been so scared to embrace this future before. Now it was everything she could ever ask for.

After finishing their dinner and making their way upstairs to enjoy some more activities that they _'needed their strength'_ for, Emma held Killian in her arms within the warm confines of their bed. Her fingers traced lightly over his skin, absently wandering just to keep them connected. Lost in her own happy thoughts, she lay beside Killian completely at peace.

"I would give anything to see you so happy every day for the rest of our lives Emma." She warmed at the thought of forever with him, but noticed his slight look of regret after saying the words. She ran a hand across his cheek wanting to make sure he knew that she felt the same.

"Just promise me one thing."

"Anything, love."

"Stay with me, always. No more leaving." He smiled, kissing the crown of her head lightly as she snuggled closer into his chest.

"You have my word, Swan. I'll stay close, always and forever." The vow lulled Emma into that state of calm needed to finally succumb to sleep, and in her dreams she wasn't fighting bad guys or worrying about the fate of all the realms. No, instead she was building the life she wanted with Killian, planning a future that someday soon she'd finally get to have.

….

 _There's nothing more that I would have that I could need_ _  
_ _Cause having this means that I've got it all_ _  
_ _When I was taking turns and you were wrong for me_ _  
_ _You chose to understand and let it go_ __

 _And oh, You've turn this black heart made it into gold_ _  
_ _So I wanna let you know that_ __

 _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my_ _  
_ _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my love_ _  
_ _Looove_ __

 _Control is such an open ended word for me_ _  
_ _Something that I used to think I owned_ _  
_ _I'm standing here with none I'm feeling so complete_ _  
_ _You helped me understand to let it go_ _  
_

 _And oh, You've turn this black heart made it into gold_ _  
_ _So I wanna let you know that_ __

 _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my_ _  
_ _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my_ _  
_ _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my_ _  
_ _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my love_ __

 _Stay close to me, love_ _  
_ _Stay close to me, yeah, love_ _  
_ _Stay close to me, love_

 _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my_ _  
_ _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my_ _  
_ _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my_ _  
_ _My love and my touch, up above is made with the warmth of my love_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a touch of feels and a little dose of smut on this lovely Thursday. It feels like it's been too long since I did an addition to the mixtape like this so I had to rectify that. Hope that you all are having a good week and as always, thank you for reading!**_


	64. What I Love About You

_**A/N: Fic that takes place when Emma and Killian get back from the Underworld, Emma notices how quiet Killian is being. She asks him what's wrong, and he says he needs to tell her something. Emma thinks it might be bad, the truth is just a bunch of reasons he loves her. In this fic, I've kind of ignored the ending of 5x23, so that the next big bad isn't coming for a while. Inspired by the song 'What I Love About You' by Logan Mize.**_

People often said that time is the greatest healer. Waiting out the storm, allowing the wounds to heal, all of those rituals called for time, but in Emma's life, time was a very fleeting commodity. So when Killian came back from the Underworld and began to pull back slightly, speaking less, and drifting off into his own personal thoughts more, Emma worried. That he needed her and wanted her she was sure of, but giving him space to deal with the things he'd seen, with the loss of his brother, and with his own continued escapades with death, was hard for Emma. They'd only just reached a level of full and complete openness and she wanted that back.

"I know you probably don't want a pep talk…" Snow's words from across the counter at the loft had Emma smiling in spite of herself. She'd just poured all of her worries out for her mother's consideration in an attempt to vent, but in typical parental fashion, her Mom now wanted to put in her own two cents in.

"I think I may just be desperate enough to accept." Her mother gave her the stern look she often shot to David but then her features softened again.

"Well, there's a difference between taking time, and running from the problem. If you think it's his stint in the Underworld, then maybe you should talk to him about it." Emma considered the suggestion. Theoretically it was a good one, but she also didn't want to push Killian. Even with him holding back a little things were good. More than good even. That future they'd been dreaming up in Camelot was closer than ever, and Emma didn't want to undermine that in anyway.

"It's not the Underworld." The way her father strolled into the room with Neal, clearly having heard everything and completely sure of his statement, sparked Emma's attention.

"And how would you know that?" David hesitated before responding in an evasive way.

"Just a feeling." Emma shook her head, not buying that for a second.

"You really want to put _'just a feeling'_ against my superpower?" David's face tightened slightly and if she wasn't so serious about helping Killian, she might have laughed, but this was serious. She needed to make sure the man she loved was okay. He was always so adamant about protecting her heart, and she needed to protect his too.

"Emma, he's already spoken to me about what's been on his mind. I know he's planning to talk to you about it, and when he does, it'll be a good thing. A happy thing." She saw the truth in her father's eyes and breathed a little easier. Even if she hated not knowing, she trusted that he was right. When Killian felt enough time had passed, he'd come to her, just like he always did.

With her newfound outlook, and a bit more knowledge than she'd started with, Emma made her goodbyes to her parents, despite their insisting that she should stay a little longer. She felt too restless to stay and chat about her little brother's sleep patterns or station paper work right now, even if she was comfortable at least that Killian wasn't in crisis. Once she'd left her parent's home behind, Emma set back out to find him. Talking, or not, she wanted to be with him and to share these days (or hours with their track record) of peace together.

Making her way through the town center and onwards to Granny's, which she thought might be a good first place to check for Killian, Emma felt grateful that their quiet moment was lasting a little longer this time. This down time gave her a better perspective on the bigger picture of what they were fighting for. It wasn't just for her true love, or her son, or her parents. Emma was fighting for this town, this place to belong, and the people who lived here. This deceptively quaint little corner of the world was worth protecting, and the tranquil sort of calm currently surrounding their little hamlet was a beautiful reminder of that fact. But the quiet she appreciated was fleeting, especially when Emma heard Leroy crying out to one of the other dwarves across the street.

"Hey, have you see the sheriff's house this morning?" Happy shook his head, which only fueled Leroy's need to gossip. "Killian's down there, and he's really done a number on the place." Emma's heart sped up, thinking only that she had to get to him. She didn't want him feeling so out of control that he was destroying a place he loved. With a _puff_ of magic, she transported back home, ending up on the porch. What she found was indescribable, and most certainly not what she'd expected.

"Ah, there you are love." Killian's smile somehow shone brighter than the rest of their surroundings, which Emma had to take in again. Throughout the entirety of their lawn, and all along the porch were flowers of beautiful pinks and reds and whites. Roses and daisies and so many more varieties she didn't actually know the names of occupied the space.

"How did you – I've only been – flowers?" Emma's stammering had never been this bad in her entire life, but words were failing her. The air around them smelled sweet, but felt charged with a buzz of impending energy. She knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he'd done all this for her, but why? Wasn't he the one they were supposed to be worrying about right now? Whatever Killian might have said in the face of her fragmented speech was interrupted.

"Jeez! Grandma and Grandpa had one job, keep you there for an hour, and they couldn't manage that?!" Henry's appearance from the backyard with Regina behind him only threw Emma for more of a loop.

"Whatever they were supposed to do, she's here now, and I do believe this is our cue, Henry." Henry nodded at Regina but gave Emma a hug quickly. Emma hugged him back, still a bit unsteady on her feet.

"Don't be afraid, Mom. This is the good part." That was all Henry said before stepping back to Regina and letting her _poof_ them away with her own magic. Now Emma and Killian were alone. Emma moved towards him, craving clarity, but biting her tongue. Whatever this was, she knew he needed to be the one to lead, and for once she could try and give him that.

"You've always been able to see through me, love, but this week I think I may have confounded even your apt analysis." Emma laughed lightly at the way he phrased it. His command over language was something to be admired, especially given her own lack of linguistics moments ago.

"You could say that. Just tell me you're okay, that _we're_ okay." She reached for his hand, and their fingers intertwined instantly. The warmth that seeped from him into her calmed the waves of anxiety that had plagued her recently. Even without his words, she knew that they were indeed okay, but in typical Killian fashion, words came all the same.

"That right there is one of the many things I've been thinking about this week. Since my return I've been taking stock of all the blessings in my life, Emma, and each and every one comes from you. The way you've given yourself to me, the way you trust me and you see me and you love me, it takes my breath away." Emma let out a little sigh of pleasure at the affirmation. Her pirate was incredibly sweet.

"So all of your silent reflection has been you making a mental list of everything you love about me?" She expected her little bit of teasing to make him laugh but he just nodded.

"Aye, love. Because I'm going to ask you a question, one that will change our lives forever, and before I do, I need you to know where I stand and how I see things." His hand tightened its grip on hers a bit.

"Well lead the way, Captain." He smiled at the endearment, bringing her from the front porch around the side of the house to a space even more spectacular than everything she'd already seen. Emma had to wonder if this was all from Killian, or if perhaps her son, author and fairytale expert extraordinaire, had been allowed some say.

"Both Henry and I thought you deserved a perfect story, Emma," Killian said, clearly reading on her face all the thoughts she believed were hidden. She should know by now that there was no use hiding from him, especially when she didn't want to. Emma liked knowing that they had each other no matter what and she hoped that made its way across when she turned back to him and smiled.

"I already have a perfect story." She didn't expect him to pull her close then and kiss her, but he did. And this was not a kiss composed sweetness, but one of fire and passion and wanting. It was all consuming in its intensity, and soon enough the lines between where she ended and he began blurred. They were so in tuned with each other, and for a moment, they existed outside of time and space, until he pulled back. She wasn't too proud to own up to the little whimper she let out when he did so, though he made no note of it.

"That was a bit of bad form on my part, love. I have a plan you see, and kissing you senseless comes _after_ the talking." Emma rolled her eyes playfully. He kissed her hand lightly and pulled her to the center of their lawn, a patch surrounded by the flowers and beauty that he'd set up for her underneath a beautiful canopy. Once there though, he hesitated, and in that instant Emma knew he wasn't the only one with things to say.

"I love that you look at me like I'm everything." His eyes flashed up to hers, intensely blue in a way that only happened in their rawest moments together. It fueled her to say more. "And you never waiver about your love for me. Even when I've doubted, and you've doubted if this could work, that was always a constant. You always let me feel it, you don't hide it from me or the world. I love the way that you not only fight to protect me, but to protect my son and my family. You have given everything up to keep us all safe time and time again, and you are always trying to make me happy, when the only thing I need is you. I love that you made me strong and you made me braver. Holding your hand, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm no longer that little lost girl with no one. Now I have everything."

Emma pressed onto her tiptoes and kissed him quickly, watching his surprise turn to wanting and then a smile when he watched her pull back too quickly. She couldn't keep the bubble of joy contained in her chest, and wondered if he could really see how wonderful he made her feel.

"I know you mentioned good form before, but to be fair, this is kind of your show so I think I get a little more leniency in following the rules." Killian moved closer, his arm coming around her waist to hold her tight.

"I love the light in you, Emma. And I don't mean your magic, though I love that too. I mean the propensity you have for happiness. I can't imagine that you haven't always been cherished and wanted, for you are goodness itself, but know that as long as I live and breath and even after you will always be loved and you will always be deserving. I have never loved another as I love you, Swan. You're it for me, for now and for always." Emma felt tears stinging her eyes.

"What else?" He smiled, happy to fill her in, just in case there was any lingering confusion on her admirable qualities.

"I love the way the light catches your hair through the trees when you drag me through the blasted forest for scouting parties. I love that you eat a grilled cheese sandwich every day and never grow tired of them. I love that underneath all that kindness and honor is just a little bit of mischief, a propensity for raising hell if you will." She laughed lightly at that and his hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb grazing the side of her upturned smile.

"I love the little bit of air that creeps into your quite giggle, and the look you get when I catch you off guard. The moment of recognition in those emerald eyes when you see and feel how much I love you. I love that you challenge me in all aspects of our life, and that you see me as your equal and as your partner. I love that we started on opposite sides but found our way to this place, where we are truly meant to be. But mostly, I just love you and every single thing that entails, Emma."

With that, he moved back slightly and Emma watched as Killian bent down on one knee before her. This wasn't unexpected, wasn't something to be afraid of, but the natural culmination of everything she know realized she wanted. This future with Killian was so filled with hope and promise and love, she couldn't wait for it to begin. When he opened the little box he pulled from his pocket to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring, Emma nearly gasped, only to remember she was dating, and soon to be engaged to, a centuries old pirate captain. Treasure and jewels were kind of part of that package.

"Emma, love, knowing everything now as you do, will you take me to be your husband? Will you make me the happiest man in all the realms and marry me?" The sincerity in his voice rang out like her favorite song, the sweetest melody made only for her.

"Yes. But I have a condition." He smirked, as if expecting such a statement.

"Anything, love."

"We get married soon. _Really_ soon." He rose to his feet once more and brought her hand up to place the ring on her finger, where it fit perfectly and looked spectacular.

"I think I could be persuaded to make an honest woman of you sooner rather than later." Emma felt herself flush with the promise and seduction in his words. She pulled him closer by the lapel of his jacket and whispered with only inches between them.

"Would a kiss suffice as a sign that you have me in every way?" He growled a bit, the low rumble emanating from his chest so she could feel the slight vibration where her hands were on his jacket.

"Well, it would be a start." Now it was her turn to cave to the inferno of desire burning between them.

"So let's start."

Three little words were all it took for them to do exactly that, to begin the rest of their forever. And yes, maybe the words Emma chose to utter aloud were _'so let's start,_ ' but what she'd really meant was what she'd said a hundred times before – she loved him. With a bond like this, true and everlasting as it was, sometimes they didn't need _'I love you.'_ Sometimes they just needed the will to walk into a new journey, and on to a new story, side by side.

…

 _Your hair when it's up, or your hair when it's down_

 _The tops off the Jeep and it's blowing around._

 _From the tips of your toes to the top of your crown_

 _Yah that's what I love about you_

 _Then there's that look when I catch you off guard_

 _Yea, that one right there deep in your heart of hearts_

 _You really don't know just how pretty you are_

 _That's what I love about you_

 _It's where ya from baby where ya going_

 _When you're slow and easy, when you're rock and rollin_

 _Like to raise a little hell, love your God in heaven_

 _red and white and blue and lucky sevens_

 _Ya heave on the gas, little hard to handle_

 _Wearing mama's smile and daddy's flannel_

 _Thinking every cloud has got a silver lining_

 _How you point it out so I can find it too_

 _That's what I love about you_

 _How you light up the room with the way that it sounds_

 _When you laugh like a kid on a merry go round_

 _The man that you made of the man that you found_

 _Girl, that's what I love about you_

 _It's where ya from baby where ya going_

 _When you're slow and easy, when you're rock and rollin_

 _Like to raise a little hell, love your God in heaven_

 _red and white and blue and lucky sevens_

 _Ya heave on the gas, little hard to handle_

 _Wearing mama's smile and daddy's flannel_

 _Thinking every cloud has got a silver lining_

 _How you point it out so I can find it too_

 _That's what I love about you_

 _Ya heave on the gas, little hard to handle_

 _Wearing mama's smile and daddy's flannel_

 _Thinking every cloud has got a silver lining_

 _How you point it out so I can find it too_

 _That's what I love about you_

 _That's what I love about you_

 _ **Post-Note: Yeah, I know, another engagement fic from me isn't very original. But if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, this couple deserves to just get to the happy comfort and togetherness of being married. Plus it will be so cute to see how they do it on the show. Hope that you guys enjoyed, and that your weekends are going well!**_


	65. Our Own House

_**A/N: This is a rewrite of the scene in Camelot (specifically in episode 5x8) about the house Killian picked and the future of Emma and Killian as a couple.. I'm basically just going to write away all of the Dark Swan nonsense, completely avoiding Emma or Killian going dark. Sure it was interesting on the show, but in this and every fic of mine, Emma and Killian get an angst-less retelling. Why feel pain when you can just be consumed with fluff? Inspired by the song 'Our Own House' by MisterWives.**_

The surrounding beauty of the forests of Camelot irritated Emma in this moment. The pressure she was under, the mixing torment of light and dark inside her, and the fear that she felt at everything still to come, deserved stormy weather and shadows and just…less birds singing and green leaves and yellow sunlight. The juxtaposition of where she was and how she felt fueled the underlying anger and resentment in her gut, keeping her from attaining her objective, which was to get past the darkness.

Emma had been staring at the Promethean Flame for a while now, trying to riddle out in her head what she needed to light it, but she had found no answers. All that she had was anxiety and more walls to break through. There were things she didn't want to admit, and questions she didn't want to answer even though she knew they were needed for the task at hand. And so it was her complete immersion in this conflict, in the debate between being brave and being selfish, that had Emma failing to hear Killian as he made his way through the woods to find her. When he announced himself, it didn't startle her though. Instead the sharp pinpricks of tension throughout her mind eased away at the sound of his voice, a level of calm returning that she only felt these days when he was close.

"There you are. Been looking everywhere for you." Emma could easily believe it. No one else in her entire life, except maybe Henry, had ever been so hell-bent on helping her, on letting her know that she wasn't alone, all while still giving her space to breathe. Still the darkness and the doubt swirling inside her prompted unkind words as a barrier from the feelings he always brought to the forefront.

"Dagger's right here. Regina was going to use it on me. Why not you?"

"What she did was wrong. I'm sorry it had to happen." That Killian apologized, even though he would never dream of trying such a thing himself, spoke volumes and chipped away at the safeguards she'd put in place against everyone.

"It's funny. I'm not. She was right. I do know why I'm scared to let go of the darkness. Because of her, I finally admitted it to myself."

"What are you so afraid of, love." _You_ , she thought, but it wasn't true, at least not really.

"This. Our future." She handed him the real estate listings, the one with the circled house on it, and watched as an exasperated look flashed over his face. Killian hadn't expected her to see it, but she did all the same. Emma knew Killian was planning their next steps. He was so much farther along in admitting that he loved her than she was. It made her consider, what if she never got there? And worse, what if when she did, this wasn't everything he was hoping for? She'd let people down before, but she truly hated the idea of letting him down. He deserved better, and she wished she could be better for him.

"I see you talked to Henry. Sometimes I forget that boys can't keep secrets."

"Don't blame him. He just thought it would help if I knew what I had to look forward to when we got home." Home. That was the whole problem – she was starting to think of him as her home and she wanted to be with him so strongly, with an intensity she'd never before experienced, that it terrified her. It shattered through the darkness and overcame the evil magic swirling inside her. Fear of failure when it came to their love was stronger than any dark one magic could be.

"What are you trying to tell me? That you can't ignite the Promethean Flame because you're afraid to take the plunge and move in with me?"

"It's not about moving in. It's… _everything_." He looked away, thinking that somehow this was his fault or maybe that he should have known better. In that moment, Emma had to tell him everything, maybe make him see that this was on her. All of these issues, they were hers to bear and she was tired of hurting him with them, but she just couldn't stop.

"When I told you I loved you back in Storybrooke, it was because I thought I was never going to see you again. It was the same way with Neal. I could only admit my true feelings when I thought I was losing him – and you." God, why was she bringing up Neal at a time like this? Doing so did absolutely nothing to convey what Killian meant to her, but she was so rooted in the thick of the fear, she was just sprouting out anything to fill the space and keep her from having to confront all of this.

"Well I guess it's even worse that I thought. You can't even see any future at all with me." She reached out, grabbing his hand, imploring him to look at her, to see her through all the messed up words she was saying.

"That's not it. Don't you get it? I'm afraid because I _do_ want a future with you. A long one, a happy one." His eyebrow rose in that charming way of his and he went from completely defeated to almost cocky in a split second.

"You do?" The hope in his voice set the uneasy strain of her sped up heartbeat back to where it should be as Emma calmed slightly.

"Yes. And the minute you take away the darkness, that future begins. I know it sounds crazy."

"Doesn't sound crazy at all, Emma." The way he said her name and smiled right after sent a pang of warmth through her. God she loved him. Why couldn't she just say that? "That sounds like music to this pirate's ears. You just have to trust me. The future's nothing to be afraid of."

"I do – trust you I mean. More than anyone, more than myself even." His hand ran up her arm, gentle in its caress though she felt it through the fabric of her cloak. "And I'm sorry."

"For what, love?" The concern that crossed his features in that moment said that he thought she was going to take it all away after dangling this future before him hurt. It hurt to know that she was the one who'd taught him to expect this. So she did what she had to – she overcame her fear to show him that she was trying.

"For what I said. I do love you, and I shouldn't have to be dying, or ripped through time and space to tell you that. I trust you to protect my heart like you said you would." Killian smiled and nodded slightly.

"I will, Swan, always. I love you too, Emma. So together – together we can do this." With that she kissed him, trying to say with this kiss all that she'd just said with her words, pouring the feelings and the certainty that this was real between them. When he pulled away smiling claiming that they'd sparked the flame, she smiled too, but pulled him back for another kiss.

"Let's just take another moment - one where I'm not staving off darkness. Why that house?" He smiled, staying close to her, his fingers intertwining with hers.

"Well the view of course, as I said. But mostly because I can see us there, you know. It's close to the station, and to Henry's school. Not too far from your parents, but also not in the loft just above their heads either" Emma ran her thumb across his knuckles in gentle strokes, collecting the warmth from where they touched and soaking it in along with his thoughtful words about the house.

"It's pretty big for three people." She watched him flush at the comment and she knew he was a little embarrassed, but ever determined to do right by her and be honest with her, he answered her unspoken question.

"More space would be good should there ever be more than three of us."

"So you were thinking of kids, then?" Emma smiled at the thought. She scarcely ever allowed herself time to think of things like this, but she had to admit that the dream life he painted before her, one that included a little gaggle of children who looked like her and Killian, made her want so much more. It occurred to her that his dream and his plan so perfectly mirrored what she'd say was her own happily ever after.

"Aye, love. Maybe someday, when we aren't facing evil kings and hunting for wizards trapped in trees." Emma laughed lightly at that before meeting his eyes and being brave just once more.

"You know, people usually get married before they have a family." Whatever she'd expected in that moment, it hadn't been for him to reach into his pocket and pull out a beautiful ring with a clear blue sapphire stone in the middle surrounded by smaller diamonds. Emma covered her mouth with her hand, feeling tears prick at her eyes. He really was ready, for everything.

"The moment you give word, a look even, to indicate that you are ready, I'll offer this to you with any words of solicitation you may like, love." Emma closed her eyes, taking just a few seconds to truly feel this moment. She looked inside herself and found that even though she'd been fighting this for a long time now, this was everything she wanted. Them together and happy and safe, back in Storybrooke with a real home, starting a family, it was all the happily ever after any hero could ever wish for.

"Ask me," she whispered when she opened her eyes back and he smiled, looking just a little boyish in the shyness and remaining nervousness that clung to him.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Killian, I will marry you." Just as she was about to kiss him again his face took on a look of some regret.

"Bloody hell! Sorry, love, it's just I had so much more to say than that. I had all sorts of words to tell you what you mean to me and –" Without further hesitation, Emma closed the space between them, kissing him with unrestrained passion. In an instant she felt a pulsing sense of magic emanate from the two of them, pulling back to see the tell tale aura of true love around them, and it was circling around Killian's neck, healing his scratch from Arthur all over again before her eyes.

"Does that mean…" Killian's words trailed off in wonder and amazement.

"You share true love, yes." Merlin's words from the grove of trees beyond them resounded through Emma's head, but before she could rejoice in such a happy occurrence she needed to know why it had moved to heal Killian in this way. "The moment Arthur cut you with his blade, I feared your life was over, for Excalibur was forged to cut immortal ties. A wound from it cannot be healed… or so it has always been told before."

"But any curse can be broken with true love's kiss, right?" Emma asked, now feeling more fear than she'd thought possible. What if this was her destiny – to find true love only to have it torn away. She couldn't bear that and she wouldn't. It was an unacceptable fate. Merlin moved forward coming to extend his hand across Killian's person using his magic to sense any problems. When he smiled, Emma felt herself breathe easy once more

"So it would seem. The wound is gone, for now and forever." Emma looked back to Killian, happier than she could ever put into words.

"We can go home! We can get rid of the darkness and we can still have each other." The tears that had formed from her excitement now ran down her cheeks in relief and she felt Killian pull her close, his arms wrapping around her, a physical promise that they were okay.

"Aye, love. We'll do exactly that." She felt him kiss the crown of her head, and reveled in the warmth she found with him. A few minutes later, reinvigorated with the belief that she could do this, that together they could ward off the darkness, ending it once and for all, Emma and Killian returned to the others to share their news and to find their way home.

They were, of course, successful and once back in their own corner of the world, they were eager and excited to take the next step into their happy future once and for all. Darkness still came calling, trouble never stayed away from Storybrooke for long, but having a happily ever after didn't mean having no more problems – instead it meant letting go of fear of the future, and believing that every day together was worth whatever came their way.

…..

 _Came in like the breeze,  
I felt it in my knees  
Never will it leave  
Each day it is retrieved_

 _Seems like yesterday  
Your eyes craved this way  
Into my soul you stared  
And bored down every fear_

 _We built our own house, own house  
With the hands over our hearts  
And we swore on that day  
That it'll never fall apart_

 _We built our own house, own house  
With our hands over our hearts  
And we swore on that day  
That it'll never fall apart  
Will never fall apart-art-art  
Will never fall apart-art-art  
With our hands over our hearts  
Will never fall apart-art-art_

 _Wake up to the sun  
Clouds always come undone  
You give the light I need  
Like water to a seed_

 _Wading in until  
One to talk to be real  
And prove me wrong it seems  
A heart can truly gleam_

 _We built our own house, own house  
With our hands over our hearts  
And we swore on that day  
That it'll never fall apart_

 _We built our own house, own house  
With our hands over our hearts  
And we swore on that day  
That it'll never fall apart  
Will never fall apart-art-art  
Will never fall apart-art-art  
With the hands over our hearts  
Will never fall apart-art-art_

 _Take it all, take it away  
We'll still have the sun dying  
And the love that is beating  
'Till our lungs stop breathing_

 _Take it all, take it away  
We'll still have our riches,  
No need for stitches  
'Cause love melts the pain_

 _Take it all, take it away  
Take it all, take it away  
Take it all, take it away  
Take it all, take it away  
Take it all!_

 _We built our own house, own house  
With our hands over our hearts  
And we swore on that day  
That it'll never fall apart  
Will never fall apart-art-art  
Will never fall apart-art-art  
With our hands over our hearts_

 _ **Post-Note: I have wanted to rewrite this scene for a long time, but have been putting it off in the hopes that I'd find just the right way to handle it. It's such a cute moment, where they light the flame, but I always hated that just when they move a step forward, they get pushed three steps back. Yes it's good for storytelling on TV, but it does nothing but pain my shipper heart. So, as I've done with so many other scenes, I rewrote it to make it what I wanted most of all – a start to their real happily ever after. I hope you guys enjoyed, and I really appreciate you for reading! Thank you thank you thank you!**_


	66. Baby I'm Yours

_**A/N: A Post-Underworld fic where Emma attends a baby shower for one of the locals in town, and gets suckered into all of the typical games, including wearing a baby bump. When Killian sees this, he's on a new mission – operation get Emma pregnant. Emma is all for that idea, and so expect fluff and smut as they try to get there. Inspired by 'Baby I'm Yours' by Barbara Lewis. This chapter rated M.**_

Looking around the interior of Granny's, Emma couldn't quite understand how things had gotten this out of hand. What had started as a modest party to celebrate one of the local woman's pregnancy announcement, had become a huge to-do thanks to her mother. The usually understated diner was covered in pastels, streamers and baby decorations. If anyone was in doubt that they were here for the impending birth of a new child, the over the top décor would set them right.

"When you said a small party, I assumed you meant _small party_." Regina smirked at Emma's comment to her mother, clearly unimpressed with the display surrounding them.

"Well that was your first mistake, thinking that Snow White could go small on something like this." Emma watched as her mother straightened her spine, as if trying to protect herself from the teasing. Regina did have a point though.

"This is an investment in town morale as you both well know. We've had a bit of lull in happy occasions recently. There have been no big parties since your wedding, Emma, and besides, babies are their own kind of magic. They need to be celebrated too." The mention of Emma's wedding, which had taken place a few months prior, had Emma smiling, and in an instant any fault she'd found in the party's abundance disappeared.

 _This is the next step,_ Emma thought to herself, her hand running over one of the baby onesies her mother had supplied for decorating. She and Killian had discussed having more kids, but it had been more of an abstract concept than concrete planning. Even though she knew she wanted more, they could never seem to find the right time, there was always some new crisis to take on that got in the way. Only in the face of all this baby stuff did Emma realize that maybe now _was_ the right time. Would it be easy? No, but when was anything in her life ever easy.

"Alright ladies, to make sure that Ella isn't feeling too on display, we must all now don our own baby bumps."

Emma shook her head at her mother's instructions, and watched as Regina bowed out with a swirl of magical transport before she could be corralled into such a thing. Much as she might like to do the same, Emma couldn't fend off the pleas of all the partygoers, and eventually caved, placing the small, supplied, fake bump underneath her shirt. From there Emma was subjected to all the expected games, and indulged in the 'cravings' food spread, which thankfully included Granny's grilled cheese and onion rings. If and when she was pregnant, she hoped she never lost her love for these, because it would make the best excuse to eat a lot of them.

As the party went on, Emma couldn't seem to move past the fake baby bump, and more than once she felt her hand go down to rest over the obtruding member. It was a really bizarre feeling, though it's strangeness was still desirable. Emma had just decided that she definitely needed to talk to Killian about starting to try to expand their family when the front door banged open. The glass of the windows shook a bit at the force, and Emma half expected to see some sort of threat. Instead she saw the opposite.

Standing there, looking at her like he was two seconds away from devouring her despite their audience, was Killian. All it took was a silent tilt of his head for Emma to realize he wasn't going to go away, and the look he gave her stomach told her that he was possibly even more desperate to work towards a real baby than she was. Without any hesitation Emma removed the baby bump and made her excuses, taking Killian's hand outside, only for him to drag her to the alley just beside the diner. Pressing her up against the wall, Killian demanded her attention fully, and Emma loved it.

"I know you want to wait, Emma, but –,"

Emma kissed him to keep the plea from coming past his lips and felt as he instantly met her in the intensity and longing that always came when they were together. Completely wrapped in each other, unconcerned with the fact that they were in plain sight for people walking up and down the street, they let their hands wander, let the kiss deepen, until finally coming up for air.

"No more waiting. I want this, Killian. I want us to make a baby." His hand tightened on her hip, his eyes glowed with that mix of awe and love that she so often found in those sapphire depths and his smile ticked upwards into that lopsided grin she loved.

"Take us home, Swan." Emma smiled.

"As you wish, Captain." With a puff of white smoke, they were back at the house, in their living room and Killian was on her in an instant.

"Any reason in particular that you brought us here, love?" Emma gasped as his hand moved under her shirt, coming up to trace the bottom of her bra lazily, his touch only fanning the flames of her want for him.

"I thought you'd like some say in where we do this." Killian growled before descending on her lips for another kiss. She knew she'd done exactly the right thing, for every time he pulled back in the hopes of stripping her of more of her clothing, he told her so, whispering words of reverence and love as he set about pleasing her.

"At least for this first try, love, I think we should be in our bed."

Even though they'd been living together for a while now, confirmed true loves for even longer, the emphasis Killian put on it being theirs together sent a surge of happiness through Emma. She loved that they were real, that this was happening, and she agreed with his assessment. Where she'd anticipated using magic though, Killian had other ideas, sweeping her up to carry her in his arms. It was romantic and lovely, and in short, everything she'd come to expect from her husband, who was a true lover of love. When they finally reached their bed, Killian spread her out on the big white comforter for his perusal, and thoughts of sweet romance flew from Emma's head.

She watched as Killian licked his lips, his eyes tracing over every curve, and every part of her as if trying to decide where to start. Emma knew this game though, this flirtation with time that he sometimes liked to play with. It drove her a little crazy but in the end the satisfaction when they came together grew exponentially. The thought of time, though, had Emma frowning slightly, something that Killian didn't miss.

"What's the matter love?" He asked, running her thumb across the corners of her mouth as if trying to smooth away the pain with just his touch. It nearly worked, but still Emma confided in him.

"Sometimes it takes people a while to get pregnant, and I don't know, now that I'm ready, I don't want to wait." Understanding crossed her husband's features as he climbed over her, kissing her with a sweet passion, gentler than before.

"Well we'll do our very best to get you pregnant as quickly as we can, even if it means I have to spend every spare moment of the day inside you."

 _Fuck_ , that hadn't occurred to Emma. Maybe they didn't need to get pregnant immediately if it meant that the already crazy amount of sex they were having would somehow increase. She bit her bottom lip, trying to contain her groan, but Killian didn't allow it. Wanting to hear her he kissed her jaw and then on her neck before sucking at the spot just above her pulse point. It was enough for her to lose control, crying out his name.

" _Killian_!"

Emma felt him smile against her skin, his tongue coming out to soothe the point where he'd nipped at her, just to continue the pattern further down her throat, over her shoulders and down to her breasts. The interplay of his mouth with the scruff of his beard created a flurry of sensation she'd never get used to and would always crave more of.

"No matter what, Emma, I intend to see you happy. No, I intend to see you so deliriously joyous you'll have no idea such happiness existed." Emma moaned as he took one of her nipples between his lips, using everything he knew about what she liked to drive her wild there as his hand moved between her legs.

"I'm already that happy with you."

This time it was Killian who was groaning his approval at her words, moving to her other breast, his fingers aimed at bringing her to the brink of pleasure as quickly as he could, but just when she was about to fall, he pulled back, opting instead to kiss lower and to take that pleasure with his tongue. Right before he did though, he pulled back, imploring her to promise him something.

"You have all of me, Emma. You're everything in the world that matters. Tell me I have you." It didn't matter that he'd put a ring on her finger months ago, or that they were in the middle of trying to put a baby in her, he still wanted assurances, ones Emma was all too willing to give.

"You have me, forever."

Emma had only a few seconds to think how lucky she was before his mouth was on her, pulling from deep within such exquisite pleasure she lost herself in it. Completely at Killian's mercy, Emma rushed towards that delicious release, and once she had it, and she began to return to her senses, she was unwilling to wait any longer. Pulling him back up to her for a kiss, she demanded that he take her.

"You have a job to do, Killian. Are you up for it?" He grinned at her, that cocky look never turning to arrogance, but remaining firmly in the _'hot pirate captain'_ range of the spectrum.

"I love a challenge, Swan, as you damn well know." And boy, did he ever rise to it, giving it to her as good as he ever had, the best she'd ever known and finally granting her another release that he followed her into.

A little while later, still tangled up together, Emma found herself humming an old song she'd found during one of her many stakeouts while listening to the oldies station. It had always struck her as a testimony of what all out love would feel like, but it had never clicked as relatable until she'd met Killian. He was the only man who would ever have her feeling this way, of that she was entirely certain.

"An interesting tune you have there, love," Killian said, his voice rich with contentment and she snuggled closer, whispering the lyrics against his chest while the music played in her head.

….

"Gods, if you aren't the most tantalizing woman that's ever lived."

Killian's statement came through broken kisses as she made them breakfast a few months later. Here she now was, nearly halfway through her pregnancy, and Emma had never been more terrified or excited. She was carrying a new life, a new little person who would bring together parts of her and Killian and who she would give anything to protect. She already loved the little boy or girl so fiercely, as did Killian, and though anxious to meet them, she couldn't deny that this pregnancy had some definite perks.

The baby bump that she'd wanted months back, was starting to show, and its presence only seemed to heighten Killian's need for her. She and Killian had more than risen to the challenge, getting pregnant almost immediately, but now the trial was keeping him sated. Any free moment, his hands were on her, determined to please her and tease her into caving to more lovemaking. He was so tender and gentle at times and at others driven mostly by impulse and basic urges. It was incredible, and a bit all-consuming if she was honest. Emma couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd felt more wanted and cherished.

"If I'm so tempting, why are you resisting?" His hand moved up her thigh, under the dress she'd worn for today's celebration, and she felt herself getting exactly what she wanted, until he stopped.

"Because if I don't, we'll be late to the shower, and your mother may just have my head."

Emma pouted, yes Emma Swan, badass savior and ex bail bonds-person pouted, and in the end it was worth it. Unable to deny her, as she knew he would be, Killian lifted her to the kitchen table, and unbuttoned his pants, pushing up the skirt of her dress just to find that she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"Bloody hell, Swan! Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Not exactly. I just want to drive you as crazy as you drive me." If the intensity in his gaze was any indication, she'd nearly succeeded.

"Well, you've managed to do so, love."

Neither of them lasted long, but that wasn't the goal with this particular seduction. Emma had simply wanted to take the edge off before being surrounded by fawning women who wanted all sorts of details about food cravings and nursery color schemes. She had hours to go before she'd be back with Killian again, and she wanted something to hold onto during that. When they were actually ready to leave a while later, Emma took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers and gave a happy little sigh.

"I love you, Killian." He smiled, a genuinely happy look that told her he was right there with her.

"I'm yours, until the stars fall from the sky, until the rivers all run dry, until the sun no longer shines, until the end of time. " Emma felt happy tears well up in her eyes. He was quoting her song, the one she'd hummed that night months ago when they'd both admitted they were ready for this. She'd been playing it more and more, a feeling that it was lucky somehow guiding her to do so, and clearly he'd been listening. Softly, Emma ran her other hand over his chest and shook away the wetness in her eyes, willing away the tears.

"Good, because I am never letting you go." With a final kiss they were out the door, headed to the party.

…

There was nothing like the shrill cry of a newborn to tear one from sleep. That was something Emma had come to learn over the past two months since Hope had arrived. Still there wasn't an ounce of resentment, even if Emma was exhausted. Her instinct was to soothe her infant daughter, and so she followed it, moving into the nursery just beside their room and greeting the little girl with soft words as she pulled her into her arms.

"What's the matter? The unicorns not stimulating company for you?"

Her daughter's cries had turned to soft whines by this point, and Emma liked to think it was because of her joke, but realistically it was because Hope had gotten what she wanted. Funny how this brand new baby girl always did. Both Emma and Killian were wrapped so tightly around her finger it was crazy. Emma knew the best way to get her down to sleep was music and so she used it to her advantage.

 _Baby I'm yours_

 _And I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky_

 _Yours until the rivers all run dry_

 _In other words, until I die_

Little Hope's whimpering instantly stopped as Emma sang the words to the song for her daughter. Her little girl probably wouldn't be sleeping very well through the night for a while yet, but Emma and Killian had found the remedy, a lovely lullaby that Emma had had in her head since they'd first tried (and pretty much succeeded) to conceive her. Her tiny fingers wrapped around a lock of Emma's hair and her little eyes fought to stay open but eventually closed as Emma hummed and sand the rest of the music song.

"She is a marvel, isn't she love?" Killian asked as she finished. His presence didn't startle Emma. She'd known as soon as she got out of their bed he'd find her. He always did.

"She's perfect." Kissing her daughter's little hand as she unwrapped her tiny fingers from her hair, Emma thanked the universe again for this chance. She had missed this with Henry, but she didn't intend to miss anything this time around.

"Just like her mother."

With that, Killian took Hope from Emma's arms, dropping a soft kiss on her forehead before putting her back in her crib. They stood there, arms around each other watching her sleep until a yawn escaped from Emma, signaling to her doting husband that they themselves needed to get more rest.

"Is a year soon enough do you think?" Emma asked as she snuggled close to Killian in bed once more.

"Soon enough for what love?" She smiled, her eyes closing.

"To make another baby." He chuckled, the sending a subtle vibration through both of them.

"Whatever you want we'll do love. I will follow you-,"

"To the ends of time, and space I know. That's why I love you."

She heard him say the same thing in his uniquely eloquent style as she slipped into sleep, and in her dreams she saw a future, a happy one with him and their children and all their family, surviving the bad so they could have incredible goodness nearly all the time.

…

 _Baby I'm yours_ _  
_ _And I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky_ _  
_ _Yours until the rivers all run dry_ _  
_ _In other words, until I die_ _  
_

 _Baby I'm yours_ _  
_ _And I'll be yours until the sun no longer shines_ _  
_ _Yours until the poets run out of rhyme_ _  
_ _In other words, until the end of time_ _  
_ _I'm gonna stay right here by your side_ _  
_ _Do my best to keep you satisfied_ _  
_ _Nothing in this world can drive me away_ _  
_ _'Cause every day you'll hear me say_ _  
_

 _Baby I'm yours_ _  
_ _And I'll be yours until two and two is three_ _  
_ _Yours until the mountain crumbles to the sea_ _  
_ _In other words, until eternity_ _  
_

 _Baby I'm yours_ _  
_ _Till the stars fall from the sky_ _  
_

 _Baby I'm yours_ _  
_ _Till the rivers all run dry_ _  
_

 _Baby I'm yours_ _  
_ _Till the poets run out of rhyme_ _  
_

 _Baby I'm yours_

 _ **Post-Note: So I have been looking for a way to use this song and finally found it with some more baby smuff/fluff. I know I have done a chapter like this in the mixtape before, but you can never have too much baby cuteness in my opinion. I hope that you guys enjoyed, and thanks so much for reading!**_


	67. Hopeless Romantic

_**A/N: Emma Swan would never admit it, but she is absolutely a hopeless romantic. Sneaking a steamy romance novel under the guise of books like 'War and Peace?' Yeah, that's Emma. But what happens when a guy straight out of one of her stories happens upon her reading said book in a coffee shop and tries to flirt with her about a…. higher rung of literature? Expect a couple cute confrontations, lots of adorable CS sweetness, and the eventual promise that yes, Killian will be her romantic novel hero, swooping in to give her all the romance her heart could ever want. Inspired by the song 'Hopeless Romantic' by Meghan Trainor.**_

Walking through the doors of _The Commons Café_ , Emma let out a contented sigh. There in the corner by the window, but also out of the fray of coffee shop madness, was her table, with a little sign reading _'reserved.'_ For most people, the sight of such signage might cause annoyance, because it signaled that her friend Ruby (who she was supposed to meet for lunch), was running late again. Emma though, embraced the chance to take a breath and relax for a bit. She'd been studying all morning for a test she had at the end of the week, and now she could sit, enjoy a cup of cocoa, and bask in her favorite pastime – getting lost in the pages of a good book.

The other clear bonus of being friends with an apologetic barista, was that Emma could skip the massive line that always seemed to form here between the hours of eleven and one. People from all over the city made their way here for more caffeine and a decent sandwich, but Emma's usual order was already at the bar ready to be picked up with her name and a note _. 'Ems – give me fifteen more minutes, new kid blew up cappuccino maker.'_ Emma laughed at that as she waved at Ruby who was helping someone at the register. Since there was no sign of an actual explosion, Emma expected the new hire had just royally messed up on something that a repairman hadn't fixed yet. No bother, Emma could get a lot done in fifteen minutes.

Sitting down at her table, Emma pulled from her bag a large book. To the outside world, she would appear engrossed in some rather high brow reading, but when she opened the binding, it was actually a decoy container holding within its depths a smaller paperback that ran on the racier, less critically heralded end of the literary spectrum.

Okay so it was a trashy romance book, but Emma couldn't help it, she was pretty much in love with love. Ever since she was a little girl, she'd found stories of heroes and heroines who overcame the odds to find each other magnificent. Movies, television, books, whatever her medium, Emma wanted passion and a happily ever after. To admit that openly though, broadcasting to the world her want for love and seduction, well that was not something she particularly wanted. Her friend Belle was of a similar disposition, and in her time as a librarian had found these false book covers and given one to Emma for a birthday a few years back. It was one of the best gifts she'd ever gotten to date.

Settling in after taking off her scarf and jacket, Emma opened her book and picked up where she'd left off last night, right at the moment where the incognito princess was about to meet the pirate captain whose ship she'd been brought to. With just one more glance around the place to make sure no one was paying her any mind, Emma dove into the story once more.

 _The Captain, who the men had referred to as Bennick, descended from his perch near the wheel. His movements were fluid and full of purpose as he took even steps down to where Arianna waited. His command over everything around him could not be denied, his handsome features surprising for so rough and rugged a man. As she looked into his gorgeous face, she noticed that his eyes traced her body, leaving a burning of desire in their wake. She had never felt this alive, never felt this much desire for a man in her life, why had it happened for a no good pirate? She bowed her head down, hoping that maybe if she broke the eye contact between them she'd feel less, but in a moment she felt his fingers tipping her chin up._

" _There'll be no hiding from me, love." The tone in his voice was like velvet, his eyes the color of the sea he sailed on. She could get lost in those eyes, under different circumstances._

" _I'm not hiding." She straightened her spine, calling on any lingering bravery she had left. When he grinned at her, he only emphasized his roguish good looks, sending a flurry of need low in her belly. His hands came around her waist, and through the surprise more sparks coursed through her._

" _Good. That will make this next part so much easier." -_

"Interesting read you have there."

 _That's not the next line of the book,_ Emma thought as she came back to herself. The voice had sounded strikingly similar to what she'd imagined the Captain's in this book would be like, but that didn't prepare her for the very real man who'd spoken. When she looked up, Emma gazed upon a handsome stranger who might have been ripped straight from the pages of one of her books. He was incredibly good looking, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes that smiled at her while holding so much more in their cerulean depths. He had a beard, but not an unruly one like so many guys were going for these days, and Emma had the strangest urge to run her fingers over it, and to feel the scratch of it against her skin.

Her eyes strayed from his face lower, taking in every inch of him. He wore black jeans, a dark tee and a black leather jacket, and because of it he seemed almost dangerous, like if a pirate lived in the modern world maybe. Emma bit her lip to keep her jaw from dropping as her whole body flushed with arousal and awareness. The sensation was foreign to her, since she never felt attraction like this so quickly.

 _Maybe this is a dream,_ Emma reasoned, and she blinked a few times at him only for the man to give her a smile, transforming his already breathtaking features so they truly shone. Handsome didn't do him justice - he was beautiful, but as she mentally acknowledged that, she realized she'd been practically fucking him with her eyes for a while now. Even knowing that though, she couldn't look away, despite being more than slightly mortified.

"Mind if I join you? There's a far larger crowd here than I'd expected." A beat passed before Emma realized she needed to respond.

"Oh, sure." He dazzled her with another one of those smiles, sending her heart into overdrive.

" _We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom_." Emma pushed her glasses up her nose, and only then remembered her fake cover. Today's decoy book was… oh shit _War and Peace_. Emma flushed, she did not know nearly enough about that book to talk to him about it. Still as the man quoted from the novel, Emma felt the words move through her, bringing warmth and contentment. Despite having found the book dreadfully dull when she'd tried to read it a few years back, Emma admitted that she'd sit through all of the thousand-page book if he was reading.

"Really inspiring stuff. Upbeat positivity in spades." He grinned at that, and Emma couldn't help but smile.

"I found that book rather difficult to get through, but you look a smart lass, I'm sure you'll conquer it with ease." Emma needed a distraction, or something – anything. Closing the book discretely, checking that there was no sign of her book within a book, Emma faced him once more.

"I bet you say that to all the girls you meet with glasses." He laughed, the sound piercing through Emma and leaving an incredible excitement in its stead.

"If I promised that was not my indicator of your intelligence, would you believe me?" Emma pretended to consider and then arched a brow at him.

"I might be tempted to, but I don't often go around taking the word of people whose names I don't even know." The man looked a little embarrassed, and Emma watched him run a hand through his hair. God, how she wanted to do the same, to see if those dark locks were as silky as they looked. Yeah, she was a little gone over this guy. That only intensified when he extended his hand in greeting.

"My apologies, lass. I'm Killian. Killian Jones." Emma felt the crackle of energy that passed through them as their hands touched, and stuttered out her own name a bit awkwardly.

"Em-Emma Swan." His hand lingered to hold hers a touch longer than was strictly necessary, whether he realized it or not, but the lopsided grin he gave her was so captivating, Emma didn't care. In fact, she craved so much more.

"A fitting name. Do you come here often, Swan?" This time it was Emma's turn to laugh and he looked at her surprised. Maybe he didn't realize that he was using one of the oldest lines in the book, and as a certified romance aficionado, Emma would know.

"Yeah, actually I do. You?" He shook his head.

"I'm new to the city, but something in the window caught my eye." Emma was just about to ask him what it was, since his features made her wonder if maybe it had been her who'd inspired him to venture inside, when Ruby made her appearance finally.

"There you are, Ems. Ready to go?" Ruby was so flustered she hadn't even noticed Killian yet, but when she did, her whole face lit up in a smile as her eyes darted between the two of them. "Well, I see you didn't let my tardiness slow you down. He's cute." Emma rolled her eyes at Ruby as she stood to put her jacket back on.

" _He_ has a name. Ruby, Killian – Killian, Ruby." Killian took the opportunity to stand too and shook Ruby's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, Ruby." Ruby, surprisingly, didn't lay on her usual thickness of charm, instead opting for polite friendliness.

"Nice to meet you too. We were just heading out to lunch, would you like to join us?" Killian shook his head, though Emma saw a little regret in his eyes, and Emma noticed that he looked only at her when he responded.

"Much as I would like to, I have some prior commitments this afternoon before starting work tomorrow. Thank you though, for making a stranger to this city feel welcome." His eyes held such sincerity, Emma could only stare for a second before she ducked her head and blushed. He was just so intense. Emma kept losing her head around him.

"No problem. It was fun for me too." With that, Emma grabbed Ruby's hand and pulled her out of there in a speedy retreat. Where she'd expected relief from the charge between them though, she found only a small pang of loss that she may never see Killian again.

"Crap, I forgot my scarf. Hold on one second." Emma waited outside as Ruby rushed back inside. When her friend came out a few moments later Emma looked at her skeptically.

"I thought you forgot your scarf." Ruby shook her head.

"Turns out I didn't bring one." Despite the strangeness of her friend's reply, Emma allowed Ruby to take her arm and lead her to their destination, thinking all the while of how she wished she'd been brave enough to ask for Killian's number.

….

The next evening, Emma was unsurprised to find the same _reserved_ sign on her table as she moved into _The Commons_ where she was meeting Ruby before they went for dinner. After yesterdays lunch, Emma could only assume that the new guy continued to be more of a liability than a help, and for that reason, Emma didn't expect Ruby any time soon. The cocoa cup she picked up on the bar only confirmed her suspicions, with a little note that said as much. _'Ems - Good things to come, just wait!'_ That was so Ruby, upbeat, but a little cryptic.

As Emma sat down, she thought back to her interaction with Killian, lost in a little daydream about the charming man who'd made her wonder what could be for the first time in a long time. He'd been taking up most of her thoughts the past twenty-four hours, and as she pulled out today's book, she couldn't help but think of Killian anytime the protagonist's love interest made an appearance. Instead of pirates and princesses today though, she was reading of billionaires and their doting assistants.

 _The whispers through the office signaled to Liana that Mr. Handler had arrived. Where he came, gossip always followed. Most people were interested in his private affairs, thrown off by how secretive he seemed to be about his life outside the office. Her coworkers speculated about everything from his hobbies to his sex-life, and all the while they lamented over how such a handsome man could be so closed off. With his incredibly symmetrical face, those striking blue eyes and dark hair, he was a sight to behold._

 _Liana would never disagree with their assessments that he was good looking, hell he'd starred in more of her late night fantasies than she'd ever admit out loud, but where others focused on gossip, Liana focused on facts. Kevin Handler, self-made billionaire and one of the city's most eligible bachelor's, was lonely. At least he looked that way every once in a while to Liana. When she peered into his blue eyes sometimes, there was sadness there, a little pain even, and it was that that kept her up at nights, not quandaries about whether he was a golf or a tennis man like some of her coworkers. All that power and charisma, but Liana didn't believe that he had anyone who loved him and who made him feel loved in return. That was a sorry thing indeed, something money likely couldn't fix for him._

" _Good morning, Mr. Handler," Liana's friend Rachel, assistant to the VP down the way said cheerily. He nodded towards her giving his own small good morning, then his eyes turned to Liana's and the same familiar rush of wanting him flooded her that always came when she was the subject of his gaze. Her mind wandered to the dirtiest places when she looked at him head on like this, about how it would feel to strip him naked and make him see that she could love him, saving him from the loneliness she too suffered from. Then, quickly as the thoughts came, she tampered them down. This was her boss, she couldn't – no she_ wouldn't _allow herself to fall for her boss._

 _He stopped just in front of her desk, hands resting easily on the edge. He was as close to in her space as he ever would be, and from here she could smell his cologne and that scent that was so distinctly him. He smiled at her, something he rarely did for other people, and when he spoke his voice held a deep timbre that sent chills through her._

"Good Evening, Emma." Emma looked up from her book to see Killian standing just as close to her as the hero in the book had been to the main character and jumped, a hand going over her chest.

"Jeez, you scared me!" His eyes held laughter, but he held back, biting his lip as if trying to hide a smile too. Now aware of him, Emma took a second to really take him in and damn did he not disappoint. Where he'd been dressed casually yesterday, he was now in a three-piece suit, looking incredibly put together and hot as hell. Talk about paralleling her story, he really looked every bit the billionaire in this get up. When her eyes moved back to his, she noticed him staring at her book, which now easily revealed her hidden compartment and her secondary book.

"Quite a system you have there, love." Emma quickly closed up the book, but she continued to meet this gaze. Even if she was embarrassed, she didn't want to miss the chance to talk to him again.

"You're one of a select few people who know I use it. Can I trust you to keep the secret?" She joked, trying to cut through the awkwardness, but Killian's eyes lit up with heat and something an awful lot like desire.

"Aye, love, you can trust me with anything. Though I would ask for something in return…" A shiver of anticipation rushed up her spine. Anything – she would literally give him anything at this point.

"Okay?" She watched him pull a single red rose from behind his back, and her breath caught at the thoughtful gesture.

"Go to dinner with me." Emma blinked at him.

"Now?" He grinned and nodded. Emma felt a frown stretch on her face, but watched as Killian turned his own coffee cup on the table, revealing another message. _'Ems – go on a date with the hot British guy.'_ Emma blushed at that, standing up to look around, only now noticing that Ruby was nowhere to be seen in the store.

"She's not even here is she?" Killian came to stand beside her as he shook his head. "But how did-" Killian took Emma's hand in his, silencing her words as he raised her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss.

"Fate? Destiny? Call it whatever you like, Emma. All I know is meeting you yesterday felt big – like it was important and like it was supposed to happen. Do you know what I mean?" Emma nodded, she might not have a great grip on words right now, but she definitely understood his meaning. "So come with me, then."

"Okay." He surprised her again, as he seemed to do all the time, when he stepped forward and dropped a kiss to her lips. It started as soft and sweet, until she pulled him closer, pushing them firmly into passion, and it was the single best kiss she'd ever had. When they finally pulled apart, they were both smiling, and Emma couldn't deny that he was right, yesterday had been the start of an amazing story, and all she wanted was to see where it would take her.

….

 _One Year Later_

"Killian, you can't seriously have more presents for me! You've given me so much already." Emma ran her hand over his chest, feeling so content after a beautiful evening in celebration of their one-year anniversary. Killian had thought of everything, flowers, gifts, a romantic dinner, and a chance to see her favorite show. The day had been perfect, but here he was giving her more.

"Just one last thing, I promise, love." Pulling her further into the apartment they shared, Emma saw that the whole place was filled with roses and there were candles lit everywhere. Emma couldn't keep the happy tears from welling in her eyes at his thoughtfulness, and then accepted the gift Killian handed her. Opening it gently, as his hands were on her hips facing her, Emma saw it was another fake copy of _War and Peace_ and laughed.

"Killian, it's perfect." He kissed her forehead.

"Look inside, love." She did exactly that, and found a small bound book, called _Once Upon a Time_. Emma flipped it open and read the words on the first page.

" _Once upon a time, there was a magical woman. She was fearless and strong, beautiful and brilliant, and all together too good to be true, except that she was. Her name was Emma Swan."_ Emma was getting choked up with emotion but continued on. " _One day as the lovely Emma was reading in a coffee shop, completely enthralled by the pages of the book within a book before her, an ordinary man named Killian fell in love with her at first sight, through the window from the street."_ She hiccupped a bit, the tears now running down her face and Killian kissed them away before whispering low to her.

"Would you like me to take over?" Emma shook her head. No, she wanted to be the one to read this, so she pulled herself together as best she could and soldiered on.

" _Unable to resist her many charms, Killian made his way inside and spoke with her. It was over too soon, but the memory of their first meeting would never desert him. He'd sworn to himself that he would see her again, when her helpful friend Ruby assisted him in hatching a plan to be certain they'd be reunited. Only one day passed from when they met to when they came together again, but it felt like an eternity. The wait was worth it though, and in the end, the two started a relationship that would always continue, made on the foundations of the greatest love._

" _They were together a year, the best year of Killian's life when he knew it was time to ask the fair Emma a question. Would she be his wife_ – Killian?!" Emma looked down to see Killian now on bended knee before her smiling with a ring in hand.

" _Would she be his wife, making him the happiest man on earth? For he promised to always love and cherish her, to never let a day go by when she didn't know she was his whole entire world, and to supply her with all the happily ever after she'd been dreaming of for years."_ Emma covered her mouth, the tears returning but they were of the deepest and most profound happiness.

"So, love, will you marry me?" Emma nodded and he was up in a second wrapping his arms around her. As he held her, she promised him forever too, making vows to cherish and to love, to trust in this and to fight for their love, and to see where the rest of their story might go together. Whatever happened, Emma knew it would be the best one that was ever written, at least for her.

….

 _Ever after comes after we meet  
(I think the movies were lying to me)  
Oh my, how they lie  
Know I'm ready to give you my heart  
Just gotta find you so we can start  
Oh yeah, but till then  
I gotta be patient  
But I'm tired of waiting_

 _I'm just a hopeless romantic  
Looking for love  
I'd risk it all just to have it  
I wouldn't take it for granted  
I'm just a hopeless romantic  
Not giving up  
Cause I deserve to find my own  
I can feel it in my bones  
Yes, I know you're somewhere close  
Giving me hope_

 _Bet we met at a party before  
You were sweet and held open the door  
Oh my, I should've said hi  
So if you're out there  
And hearing this song  
Just know I'm here  
And you're taking too long  
Baby, come and find me  
Cause I've been so patient  
And I'm sick of waiting_

 _I'm just a hopeless romantic  
Looking for love  
I'd risk it all just to have it  
I wouldn't take it for granted  
I'm just a hopeless romantic  
Not giving up  
Cause I deserve to find my own  
I can feel it in my bones  
Yes, I know you're somewhere close  
Giving me hope, oh yes, you are..._

 _Under these stars and under the moon  
Searching for me and I'm looking for you  
Show me you're out there  
Tell me you!_

 _You're just a hopeless romantic  
And you're looking for love  
You'd risk it all just to have it  
You wouldn't take it for granted_

 _I'm just a hopeless romantic  
Looking for love  
I'd risk it all just to have it  
I wouldn't take it for granted  
I'm just a hopeless romantic  
Not giving up  
Cause I deserve to find my own  
I can feel it in my bones  
Yes, I know you're somewhere close_

 _(Giving me hope...)_

 _ **Post-Note: Today's story lives firmly in a world of happily ever afters and romance because the actual world around us does not. The news today is filled with sadness and tragedy and inexplicable hate, but at least in my writing, those bad feelings and regrettable events can't touch us. Feeling very grateful for this ship and all my lovely readers today, so know that I appreciate all of you so much! I hope you all enjoy the fluff, and thank you so much for reading!**_


	68. All About Us

_**A/N: Emma has been stressing non-stop for nearly three weeks over the latest big bad and Killian has had enough. Leaving things in the hands of the Charmings and Regina, Killian has taken Emma home. She has one job – no worrying for a full twenty-four hours, and he's determined to give her anything she needs to make that happen. Some fluff and lots smut, based off of an acoustic version of Jordan Fisher's "All About Us." Rated M.**_

As Emma and Killian moved through the streets of Storybrooke, Emma's eyes remained trained on their surroundings. She'd been painfully alert to all incoming stimuli the past few weeks, not wanting to risk a surprise ambush from their current big bad. It had her feeling edgy and stressed, and half the time it felt like the only thing keeping her sane was Killian. They'd been married a few months now, and had known very little quiet in that time, but he never complained, and neither of them ever wavered in their knowledge that this love between them was worth fighting for. When they'd made it to the front steps of their home, though, Emma turned to him truly confused.

"What are we doing here?"

"Look love, I know you don't want to do this, but you need to take a step back. I've spoken with your parents and Regina and Henry and-" Emma held up her hand, unwilling to hear the rest of his plan. Her brain was foggy from sleep deprivation and so her words sounded more exasperated than she might have originally intended.

"Killian, I know you're trying to help, but there's so much to do, we can't just leave!"

"Emma, I will not stand idly by and watch you fall apart because of this. You're pulling yourself in a million different directions. Just one day, twenty-four hours, that's all I'm asking for. One day where the world isn't on fire all around you and you can just breathe. Trust that your family can give you that and that if things get bad, they'll call us back in." Emma's resistance, despite her lingering doubts, was waning, for he had a point. She had been going crazy the past few days and deep down, all she wanted was the madness to end. All of this stress was starting to effect the strength of her magic and her ability to defend her town and her family, and Killian, ever faithful to protecting her, was trying to give her the rest she needed to restore her.

"Okay." Killian smiled gratefully before kissing her lips and pulling her inside the house once more. Once inside, Emma gave way to his careful attentions, allowing him to help her shed her jacket and get rid of her shoes.

"Are you hungry, love?" Emma shook her head. "We'll settle dinner later than. Come, I have an idea I think you'll rather like." Taking her hand in his, Killian moved through the first floor to the stairwell and up until they'd reached their bedroom. Emma expected him to bring her to bed, but he surprised her, moving straight into the bathroom and immediately stepping towards the tub. She watched him run the water and smiled as she herself added in some bath bubbles that she'd bought with dreams of one day having an actual moment of peace. They had yet to use this tub at all since moving in together, and it would be nice to finally get the chance.

Slowly Killian stripped her of her clothes, taking care to leave slight caresses in his wake. Emma could already feel some of the tautness leaving her body, but it dawned on her that he was completely overdressed. She moved to shut off the faucet and then came back into his arms, to make quick work of the garments he wore.

"There's no way I'm getting in here without you, Captain." Killian grinned at the endearment, helping her tear the rest of his clothing off too.

"I've no intention to deny you, Emma. You've given me what I want, now the rest is up to you." Emma shivered at the thought as he stepped into the bath and assisted her in with him. If this was up to her, they'd be back in bed getting dirty before they got clean, but she had to admit, resting against him, her back to his chest as his arms came around her in the lusciously warm water felt pretty close to heavenly.

"Right now I just want you." Killian pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"You have me, love. You have all of me." Emma sighed as she felt his hand run across her front, the calloused feel of his skin on hers sending desire through her. Emma should have been bone tired. She had been going nearly non-stop for three weeks to this point, but there was no feeling of fatigue right now, just a rapidly growing sense of want. He slowly washed her up, paying special attention to the muscles that were tightest, and trying to remove some of the tension from them. His fingers were like magic but Emma wanted more than that right now.

As if he could read her mind, and sense exactly what she needed, Killian's hand moved lower down her front, inching past her legs which she allowed to fall open, but while he trailed along the seam of her sex, he held back.

"Killian, please, I need –" Hell she didn't even know what to say. She needed everything. How did she ask for that? Emma could feel his breath at her ear before he gave a gruff reply.

"I know what you need love." Emma let out a low groan as his teeth nipped at her earlobe lightly, and as his fingers moved to please her, her own sudsy hands moved up to massage her breasts. Once her breath started to stagger, Killian made his move past just his thumb swirling around her clit, as one of his fingers entered her and then was joined by another. Emma moved without meaning too towards his touch prompting a vibration from his chest to course through her. "That's a good girl, love."

Completely letting go was something Emma never thought she'd have been able to do in the midst of all the chaos in their town, but here she was, entirely oblivious to everything other than this moment between the two of them. Under his careful attentions, Emma finally found a release that washed over her, seeming to cleanse her just as much as their bath had. It gave her peace and understanding that this day away was more than a good thing – it was vital. She could already feel her fading power flourishing back to life. With more time to relax, she should be good as new.

At that moment, the exhaustion that had been coming for her finally arrived, but Emma tried to bite back her yawn and hide it from Killian. Him seeing it would mean this lovely bath ending, but her husband was nothing if not perceptive. With care and caution he got them both out and dried before bringing them to bed, without any care for putting on more clothing. Emma nestled beside him under the blankets, her hand coming to rest against his chest.

"I love you, Killian." He kissed her forehead lightly.

"And I you, my love." With that final promise, Emma's eyes drifted closed and she allowed herself to finally submit to much needed sleep.

…

The past few weeks, Killian had grown used to waking up at all hours of the night, whether from the prophetic dreams that Emma was having more of, or from actual physical crisis. But his wake up this morning was one of a very different nature. Emma's roaming hands were the culprits now, and damn did he love every second of their perusal, just as he had the previous two times she'd woken him up through the night.

"Emma, love, you do understand that this time away was about you _resting_." Emma's hand moved lower down his abdomen until her fingers came to wrap around his cock, pulling a groan from Killian's lips.

"If you think you're going to trap me in this house for twenty four hours and all we'll be doing is sleeping, you're crazy. Besides last night was about me so this morning should be about you." After allowing a few more seconds of teasing, Killian came over her.

"The whole point of all of this is to make you happy." Emma nipped at his lower lip playfully, and Killian felt his whole body tense at the action. Emma was temptation itself, but like this, open and willing and hungry for him, she was something else entirely. There was no denying the goddess before him. Her power of control over him was absolute.

"If you want to make me happy, then you have to be happy too. Don't make it all about me, let's make it all about _us_." Killian growled approvingly at her linguistic choice. He'd told his wife many times before that her saying such things eased the lingering scars on his heart. That he loved Emma more than life itself was a certainty, but he still dealt with doubts about his own worth and whether he was deserving of her. Emma's tying them together like that reminded him that she was with him, always, and that for whatever reason, he'd been blessed with true love so splendid it blew everything else away.

"My happiness requires very few things, love," Killian said as he kissed his way down her body. He spoke between brushes of his lips on her skin, reveling in her responsiveness. "One of those things is having you mindless with pleasure by my hand, or in this case, my mouth." Emma groaned, no doubt understanding his intention as he moved far enough down and hoisted her up so her sex was at his face. She knew better than to close her eyes, having been told so many times before by him that he needed to watch her fall apart, wanting to see the moment in those deep emerald eyes where she lost herself completely. It was the headiest feeling, a most sublime addition he had and she wouldn't deny him.

With slow, languid, strokes of his tongue, Killian began his assault, purposely taking his time, even if he knew Emma was already half mad with wanting him. She'd claim she needed faster, but he knew that if he took her at just the right pace she'd enjoy her pleasure so much more keenly. He intended to watch her reach that pinnacle point. When she did, it only fed his own frenzy, and he returned to his spot above her, ready to finally take his own release.

"Killian, please!" Emma needn't have asked for such attentions, for Killian had thrust himself inside her aching sex before she'd even had the plea past her lips. His own craving, now fueled to a barely containable level, had his attempt at tender lovemaking thwarted as he moved into her with hard fast strokes. It made no matter to Emma though, who with very little encouragement was falling again and pulling him with her. When they were finished, he cradled her in his arms again.

"That was…" Killian began, rubbing his hand across his face as he tried to wrap his mind around it.

"Exactly what I wanted," Emma said with a smirk and a quick kiss to his lips before she hopped out of bed, throwing on one of his shirts and regrettably covering herself up.

"Where are you going, love?" Killian asked, still trying to regain his composure.

"Waffles. If this is about finding happiness, that's our clear next step." Killian chuckled as Emma moved from the room. Yes, his Swan was returning, that light in her eyes now firmly back in place, and Killian was glad for it.

….

A few hours later, Emma leaned against Killian, where they were now nestled on the couch. Lying there beside him, she couldn't help but smile. Yes, the real world was only hours away from demanding their return, but Killian had decided that the best way to spend the rest of their bit of freedom was with rest. To try and ensure that would be the case, he'd insisted that they put on Netflix.

Sitting there, Emma marveled about how her fearsome pirate captain had transformed since their original meeting. He'd gone from a roguish sailor living for the high seas, to a man who binge watched television with his wife in her world. Okay, so maybe his transition into normal wasn't entirely complete. Killian was still operating without a full understanding of this world and Emma had taken slight advantage of that today, opting to put on a medical drama show just to watch his responses.

"Bloody hell, they're ripping these people apart! We are never going back to Whale, Swan, I mean it!" She laughed at that, knowing that Killian would likely look at the town doctor with hostility now. "Seriously, love, why does anyone watch this?" Emma was about to explain it to him when the scene changed, and suddenly the medicine was largely forgotten. The female star of the show was currently dragging in another overworked doctor into an on call room and tearing off his clothes.

Emma peered over at Killian, expecting him to be shocked or transfixed or something, but instead he grumbled before flipping the remote off to shut off the TV. When his piercing blue eyes looked at her, she saw a fierceness there that she couldn't quite understand. Was he angry? Or turned on? Maybe both?

"We'll not be watching anymore of that, love." His arms came around hers, and his hand moved under her shirt to touch bare skin. Emma shivered at the contact but decided to tease him a little further.

"I thought you said we could do anything I wanted." He growled, his mouth coming to crash over hers before pulling away too soon and moving across her jaw and to her neck. Emma hadn't a care in the world about the show. It was just a way to fill time, but hey, if it broke his temporary ban on sex, she was fine with that too.

"I'll just have to prove to you that you want _this_ more." There was nothing to prove as far as Emma was concerned, but she didn't want to risk this level of passion and need to please her fading if she told him that. Yes, she loved gentle and thorough and loving, but right now she wanted him to take her and she was well on her way to getting exactly what she wanted, not for the first time today.

Stripping off their clothes while still seated on the couch took some creativity, but it was worth it when she was finally straddling his lap with both of them naked and ready. Killian's hand was firmly on her hip, still maintaining control even if Emma was on top as his mouth moved down to her breast. Emma let out a breathy moan, arching towards him, but his hand held her in place.

"You'll have to say it, love."

"I want this more. So _so_ much more." His eyes flared hotter, but his devilishly handsome grin appeared with it. Emma was powerless to resist that look, the one that said he knew she was completely his and that he was going to have his way with her. Thrusting up inside her, Killian left her speechless. All she could do was hold onto him, moving against him at the rhythm he set and spiraling towards ecstasy.

When they'd both shattered into a mutual release, Emma caught her breath, thinking about how for normal people, this might be their day to day. Newlyweds in the rest of the world probably got all of this time to just be happy and carefree and with each other. She and Killian though, would always be heroes, called upon to sacrifice part of their domestic bliss to help others.

Even if her life of serving the greater good was in some ways regrettable, and even though it meant Emma would see days like yesterday again, where fighting wore her down so much she could barely function, it also promised more moments like this. Each and every time she and Killian came together, or had a space in time where it was just the two of them, Emma cherished it, grateful for the opportunity. Fighting to get these moments made them all the more meaningful, and in many ways that was a gift. Working so hard to be together and protect each other made Emma and Killian stronger, and it made the love between them pure in a way most couples might never know.

"Thank you, for being my everything." Emma said, pressing a kiss to his lips happily. It still felt so incredibly wonderful to say that to him whenever she wanted.

"There's no thanks needed, Swan." Maybe not, Emma thought, but she'd give it all the same and she'd show it to him by loving him with her whole heart for the rest of her days.

…..

Thirty minutes. That was all that Emma and Killian had left before returning to the station and into the fray of the fight once more. Unbeknownst to Emma, Killian had been in contact with the others through the past day, keeping tabs on what was happening. There were no new big developments, but Killian knew that the return of the savior would cause some. He also knew that whatever final showdown was to come, his Swan could handle it.

As he flipped the grilled cheeses he was making on the stovetop (a skill he'd learned rather quickly since his wife was so fond of the delicacy), Killian thought about what this day had given him. Besides seeing Emma restored to her old self and recharged to her usual level of power, he'd realized that this was what he wanted. He didn't need such domesticity every day, for certainly duty and honor would win out over such leisurely pursuits, but he'd be lying if he said it hadn't been fantastic.

Such silent admissions also sparked desire for new additions in their life. Emma and Killian had spoken just before the current trouble had started about having more children, and decided it was something they wanted, but might have to wait for. Killian agreed with such assessments at the time, but was starting to realize that he no longer wanted to wait, at least not for very long. He made a promise to himself that when this mess was behind them, and they'd had a few more days together like this one, he'd bring up the subject again. He was willing to use whatever methods necessary to convince his lovely Emma that they were ready for the next step.

As if he'd willed her to return to him by thinking of her, Killian felt Emma's arms wrap around him from behind, her cheek pressed against his back as she sighed happily.

"You're making me grilled cheese. God I love, you." Killian laughed at that, before turning in her embrace.

"It seemed only right, love. They're essential for your continued happiness." She smiled, placing her hand over his chest. She was feeling for his heartbeat, something that she'd started to do since he'd returned from the Underworld months ago. Killian knew it gave her comfort, and the feel of her touch along any part of him soothed his own desire to be always beside her.

"They'll never make me as happy as you do." They shared a kiss, but were interrupted by the little ding of the timer Killian had set so he'd get the bread toasted just to her liking.

"Promise me the same thing when you're eating this, and maybe I'll believe it." The whole room filled with the sounds of Emma's laughter and as far as Killian was concerned, that meant all was as it should be in the world.

…..

Walking hand in hand back from the center of town to their home a few days later, Emma and Killian allowed themselves to fall into a comfortable silence. The final battle between them and the trouble that had caused them such stress for weeks had come and gone, and now there would finally be peace.

In the end, Killian had been more than right, she'd needed the time away to find the answers she'd been searching for, and she'd needed to heal herself to help save the town and the people she loved once again. Now all she was wondering was if he'd ever say it - If anyone had the right to dance around and say _'I told you so'_ it would be her husband in this moment. Such a statement never came though, instead, when Killian pulled her back into the house, she watched a smile light up his face.

"What's that look for?" Emma asked as Killian's arms came to wrap around her, pulling her close.

"It's called hope love." Emma melted at the words, her hand coming up to cup his cheek.

"And what exactly are you hopeful for." She watched a slight flush go up his neck and spread across his cheeks.

"A repeat performance of our day away." Instantly Emma was right there with him, craving that same domestic bliss they'd found in the middle of a nightmare. Surely it would only be better in a time of peace and quiet. She brought him down for a passionate kiss, giving him physical affirmation that his hopes would not go unanswered.

"I think that can be arranged." Luckily for both of them, trouble stayed away from Storybrooke for quite a while after that, affording them many a repeat that they both heartily deserved and the chance to start the family that they were destined to have together.

…..

 _Fly away with me baby_

 _I been falling for days, been lost in the maze; I hope you can save me_

 _Cause we're going higher_

 _We could both touch the sky_

 _Let's follow the sun's love_

 _So let's start off like we'll never stop_

 _Baby just be still; let your body talk to me_

 _I'll give you everything you need_

 _We could run away to get to the place,_

 _so let down your hair,_

 _baby set you're mind at ease_

 _We'll be living in a dream_

 _Cause tonight, the stars are shining bright_

 _The ride for you and I_

 _No, it's not about luck_

 _This is all about us, this is all about us_

 _So why, don't we live if we're alive?_

 _Gotta open up our eyes_

 _No, it's not about luck_

 _This is all about us, this is all about us_

 _Fly away with me baby_

 _Let me show you a world where pain don't exist_

 _If you could begin to come with me for a minute, yeah_

 _I'll give you the things I know you're finessing, oh_

 _So let's start off like we'll never stop_

 _Baby just be still; let your body talk to me_

 _I'll give you everything you need_

 _We could run away to get to the place,_

 _so let down your hair,_

 _baby set you're mind at ease_

 _We'll be living in a dream_

 _Cause tonight, the stars are shining bright_

 _The ride for you and I_

 _No, it's not about luck_

 _This is all about us, this is all about us_

 _So why, don't we live if we're alive?_

 _Gotta open up our eyes_

 _No, it's not about luck_

 _This is all about us, this is all about us_

 _It's a feeling that you'll get when you really love somebody_

 _We can watch our two worlds colliding_

 _(Hey, Hey)_

 _In the moment you were waiting by a voice we can't control it_

 _And I think that now we know it, yeah_

 _We could run away to get to the place,_

 _so let down your hair,_

 _baby set you're mind at ease_

 _We'll be living in a dream_

 _Cause tonight, the stars are shining bright_

 _The ride for you and I_

 _No, it's not about luck_

 _This is all about us, this is all about us_

 _So why, don't we live if we're alive?_

 _Gotta open up our eyes_

 _No, it's not about luck_

 _This is all about us, this is all about us_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a fluffy/smutty addition to the mixtape that I hope you guys enjoyed. I needed some kind of mindless happiness in the wake of two huge stories ending for me in the past week or so. I am starting to get a little sad because they were two outlets I had for just fluff on fluff on fluff. Thank god for the mixtape though, which at this point could be renamed 'an ode to CS cuteness.' Hope you are all having a great week, and as always, thank you so much for reading!**_


	69. Don't Wait Too Long

_**A/N: Very short AU where Emma and her friends work at a bar in Boston that's been rented out for the night by an engagement party. It's themed to be a speakeasy and all of them are dressed for the occasion, including their incredibly hot bartender Killian Jones. Emma has been interested in him for a long time but hasn't made a move. After a pep talk from Ruby, and incorrectly overhearing that Killian is going back to London, she is convinced to sing this song with the house band. Needless to say, sparks fly. Inspired by the song 'Don't Wait Too Long' by Madeline Peyroux.**_

One of the best parts of Emma's job as an events manager at _Wolf Cry_ bar was that she had almost unchecked freedom to make the imaginings in her mind come to life. That tendency towards absolute power of vision had remained the same this go around and even Emma had to admit she'd outdone herself.

Tonight was the Nolan's engagement party, and the bride had been adamant about her theme – this needed to feel like a speakeasy from the 1920s. Everything from the arrangements to the décor to the dress needed to be true to the time period. There was no limit on the expense; it just needed to feel authentic. With instructions like that, Emma Swan was in heaven.

"Emma, shouldn't you be dressed by now?" Ruby's voice from across the bar brought Emma back to reality. Looking at her watch she nearly jumped. Was that really the time? Things were starting in less than an hour and she had to get home, get changed and ready while getting back to be here before this thing started. If she didn't the bride would kill her. Well maybe not actually, if she did, Mary Margaret would be murdering her best friend and maid of honor after all.

"Can you just make sure that-" Ruby waved a hand, interrupting Emma as she responded.

"Honey I can handle this place with my eyes closed. I'll make sure we're good with food and everything and check in with Killian on the bar when he gets in." Emma's heart thumped loudly when Ruby mentioned Killian as it always did, but she had to push through. No time to swoon over the hot British bartender, at least not right now.

With more speed and simultaneous grace than Emma had ever managed before, she achieved her goal of getting ready and returning right under the wire. Walking into the space, the whole atmosphere had changed. The band was here and set up on the stage no doubt thanks to Ruby. All of the tables were done to perfection just as she'd left them, glittering with gold and silver and harking to the glitz and glamour of the time. Everyone there was dressed in era appropriate attire, and there, just in front of Emma was a very excited Mary Margaret and her fiancé David.

"Emma, it's perfect!" Mary Margaret's eyes were filled with unshed happy tears that immediately had Emma backtracking.

"No, no, none of that. This is a happy day, and I just dressed up like a flapper for you. You don't get to cry." Mary Margaret hiccupped a bit, but she followed Emma's request and then moved with David to start greeting the incoming guests.

"See, after all that worry, we managed not to burn the place down." Ruby said as she approached, linking her arms with Emma's who could only laugh. She made note of the strangeness of Ruby holding her like this with a glance that Ruby noticed. "You're going to need the support when you see him." _Oh god, that good?_

"See who?" Emma's attempt at a nonchalant tone was rebuffed immediately by Ruby.

"Emma we've been friends a long time and even if you've got the rest of the world fooled, I see right through that disinterest. You are in love with Killian." Emma could have denied it, but what was the point. Ruby would know the truth either way.

Before Emma could decide what to say though, Ruby turned them to look at the man in question and Emma's whole world turned on its axis. To say he looked attractive in the dress shirt and black suit vest he wore was an understatement. Sharp was a word many might have used, but to Emma he was drool worthy. A lock of his dark hair had fallen on his forehead, while his blue eyes looked darker from the color of his clothes. The formality of the outfit did nothing to hide his body underneath, and Emma took advantage of his attention's being elsewhere to look her fill. Too soon his gaze shifted up to her and he offered her a genuine smile and a little wave.

"You two are so adorable," Ruby muttered just before another one of the bartenders who everyone lovingly referred to as Tink popped up with concern on her face.

"Did you guys know?" The question was edged with a bit of tension and Emma shook her head, not understanding what her pixie-haired friend meant.

"Know what?" Fear was making its way into Emma's body at the way Tink had said the words.

"That Killian is going back to London. I just heard him talking to Graham, I guess he put his two weeks notice in last week." Emma couldn't even speak. The idea that he was leaving cut deep, but it shouldn't have. He wasn't hers; hell she was a hundred percent certain he had no idea how she felt. In fact, she'd taken great pains to ensure that he wouldn't. So why did it feel like the world was crumbling around her?

Ruby and Tink talked particulars as Emma removed herself from Ruby's grasp, trying her hardest to pull herself together. She could not let this sinking feeling weigh her down, at least not in public. She could mourn this relationship that had never gotten the chance to happen later. Instead, she threw herself into the party and its needs, taking great pains not to look at him at all.

Hours passed, the hum of the party continuing on as Emma mingled with people and served her function as planner and maid of honor. At least she had the distraction. But running from the problem only lasted so long before Ruby was pulling her to a quiet corner once more, this time joined by Mary Margaret.

"Emma, I think you need to talk about it." Emma shook her head at her and Mary Margaret's entreaty, unwilling to even entertain the possibility of going through that kind of emotion in public.

"No, I think the time for talking is behind us. I think we've done just about enough talking." Ruby's tone surprised Emma. Her friend was usually incredibly supportive. "It's time to decide, Emma. Do you love him like I think you do? Because if you do, it's time to do something, say something."

 _Yes I love him_ , Emma thought. There was no way around it, she had been in love with him for what felt like forever, and she didn't think her attraction to him would ever go away. She looked back at Ruby and finally summoned enough bravery to admit it.

"I do. But I waited too long." Mary Margaret shook her head.

"No, you didn't. You have right now – so go and tell him." Emma looked over at him, noticing that even from behind the bar he was watching her. Their eyes met and the same rush of wanting that always came appeared, and so did an idea. Risky, potentially embarrassing, but it would maybe, just maybe do the trick. Emma looked over at the band and her friends tracked the motion, both seeming to understand her intentions and smiling in return.

"You can do this, Emma." Well, she could definitely try. With that, Mary Margaret made her way to the band and whispered to their singer, motioning to Emma. The woman smiled, happy to oblige and Emma came forth, asking the group if they knew the song she had in mind, the one that said all the words she needed in this moment. By some happy chance they did and in a matter of seconds, Mary Margaret was introducing her to the crowd, most of whom already knew her. Emma missed her exact words, nervous as she was, but when she stepped up the microphone to the applause of the crowd, she steadied herself. She could do this. She had to do this.

"Hi everyone. This song is about finally saying what you need to say, even if it's terrifying." With that, the music started, the easy beat of the drum joined with the piano before Emma lent her voice to the lyrics. She started soft and still a bit afraid, but word-by-word she rallied around the song, and around the melody.

 _You can cry a million tears  
You can wait a million years  
If you think that time will change your ways  
Don't wait too long_

 _When your morning turns to night  
Who'll be loving you by candlelight  
If you think that time will change your ways  
Don't wait too long_

Finally she looked at Killian, ready to look into the depths of his blue eyes for better or worse. She was in this now, no use pretending that this little serenade wasn't for him. So instead of trying to deny it, she upped the stakes, sang every word with heartfelt sincerity and hoped he'd understand. This was all for him, he was the only guy she'd ever met who could get her to do something like this in front of all these people.

 _Maybe I've got a lot to learn  
Time can slip away  
Sometimes you got to lose it all  
Before you find your way_

 _Take a chance and play your part  
Make romance, it might break your heart  
But if you think that time will change your ways  
Don't wait too long_

As she watched Killian, Emma couldn't help but notice a change in his features as understanding dawned on him. This was for him, and the moment when he realized it and smiled at her, any of the fear that still remained disappeared. Empowered and hopeful like she'd never been before, she sang on, seeing the song through to the end much to the delight of everyone watching.

 _It may rain, it may shine  
Love will age like fine red wine  
But if you think that time will change your ways  
Don't wait too long_

 _Baby, you and I got a lot to learn  
Don't waist another day  
Maybe you got to lose it all  
Before you find your way_

 _Take a chance, play your part  
Make romance, it might break your heart  
But if you think that time will change your ways  
Don't wait too long_

 _Don't wait  
Don't wait_

The last of the music faded away and everyone cheered for her, but the only thing that mattered to Emma was that Killian was moving towards the stage. Emma made her way down, so she was once again on the floor and soon there were only inches separating them. Killian didn't hesitate at all, his hand coming up to take hers in his.

"Emma, love, I really hope that rendition was for me." She smiled and nodded, not having command enough over her words to say anything. Killian bestowed her with a heart-stopping grin, before pulling her into a commanding kiss.

The second their lips made contact, it was like the world was rushing through her. Emma had never known such profound happiness or longing or joy. Only with Killian did she have the means to feel such things. Finally pulling back, Killian's hand ran through a strand of her blonde hair that had fallen out of place. He looked at her like he was the lucky one, as if her affections were unbelievable, but the most wonderful thing he'd ever been given.

"Don't go back." Killian's brow arched up at the comment from Emma.

"Back where, love?" Emma was about to speak more but noticed Tink and Ruby high-fiving, and it suddenly dawned on Emma that Killian wasn't ever planning to move. She'd been had. Emma shook her head, averting her eyes downwards.

"Never mind." Emma felt a blush cross her cheeks, but his fingers were at the base of her chin lifting her eyes back to meet his.

"I go where you go, Swan. As long as you'll have me." Emma sighed into the beautiful words. Forever – she'd have him forever. Moving her hand across his chest she whispered low.

"Take me home." Three little words was all it took for Killian to do just that, and though they weren't the three little words Emma most wanted to say, those came shortly after when Killian made his own confession. As for the song that had brought them together… Well Emma lived by it's words forever more – whenever she wanted to make a change or take a risk, she went for it instead of waiting and letting any more time pass her by. That tactic brought her immense joy, and served both her and Killian well all the days of their lives.

 _ **Post-Note: I realize that this chapter is kind of a throwback to my first chapter of an old story I wrote called 'Move On' but it's a trope that I love and haven't read or written much of recently. Killian and Emma confessing their love through singing on stage is always such a pleasure to write. Really I just find it so cute, and I hope that you all do to. Thanks so much for reading, and happy Friday!**_


	70. Eight Days a Week

_**A/N: This song ('Eight Days a Week' by the Beatles) was prompted by a wonderful and avid follower of the Mixtape, in the hopes that I'd write a fun fic where Killian hears this song for the first time. I changed that request only slightly, but I hope it still does justice to my reader's vision. I always enjoy the idea of Killian learning modern songs and serenading Emma, but I had fun with this particular song and included some other new things Killian has been doing in our world as well. I hope you all like it and thank you so much for reading!**_

Arriving home after a busy day at the station, Emma knew a whole host of possibilities might await her past her front door. Since returning from the Underworld, and moving in together in the house he'd chosen, Emma had been witness to a shift in her charming, pirate boyfriend. He was grateful for the second chance at life and living each day with more purpose than ever before, but he was driven and determined in one particular area over any other – assimilating to this world. When Emma asked him why, Killian insisted that it would be better for everyone if he understood more. He claimed it would help him protect her and her family and to be a better partner fighting at her side. But Emma also believed part of this was about his pride. Killian had had just about enough of not understanding things.

In the past few weeks, he'd proven time and time again how quick a study he really was, picking up things from each and every person in their lives. Her father had taught him to drive, a skill he'd been surprisingly adept at, earning himself a license faster than anyone she'd ever seen. David was also great at showing Killian how different things around a home could be repaired and what never to mess with without an expert. Her mother meanwhile was teaching him more and more about modern food and how to make it, to the point where Killian had nearly taken over their kitchen, making dish after dish that put anything Emma could make to shame. Regina, though somewhat reluctant, was helping him get a better grip on Storybrooke's foundations, magical and otherwise, while Belle at the library was a hub for the history and literature of our world. And Henry… well Henry was taking part in what he called _Operation Real World 101_.

This unofficial education, extended to anything and everything that Henry himself had an interest in. Movies, television, school subjects, you name it, all of it was fair game, and it was wonderful to watch, because in explaining and sharing with Killian, Henry had the chance to pursue things he cared about outside the immediate bubble of Storybrooke. Crazy as it was, informing a pirate from the Enchanted Forest about video games and pop culture, actually made Henry more normal. It took him out of the fray of his family's crusade as heroes, and gave him the chance to be a regular kid, at least for a little while.

Once she'd stepped inside the house, Emma realized that today's attempts at assimilation were two fold. Right off the bat, she noticed that dinner was cooking, and not just dinner, but something big. This was surprising to Emma, since it was only supposed to be the two of them tonight, but she knew, that as always, he'd have an explanation. Even in the face of his weirdest moments, Killian always had a reason. The second thing Emma observed was the musical selection and she admitted she was glad for it. They'd finally reached the Beatles, and if Killian's singing along was anything to go by, this particular phase would be here to stay.

"What's going on here?" Emma asked as Killian turned around quickly and grinned at her. He had on an apron, and it only added to his allure in Emma's eyes. There was something about his strange self-inflicted domestication that made Emma a little crazy with wanting him.

"Just a bit of practice love. Thanksgiving is just around the corner." Emma muffled a laugh as she came over to give him a quick hello kiss.

"Killian, Thanksgiving is _months_ away." She said, when she pulled away from him, but he hadn't a care for her criticism.

"Well technically that's true, but I've no real experience with such a meal and it's quite an undertaking, Swan. I can't just go into that kind of thing blind." Emma looked around at all the dishes she hadn't even noticed that were already set in the dining room. He had literally made enough food for twenty people, and was pulling out a bird that barely fit in their huge oven.

"God you must have been slaving over this for hours! And how did you even get all of this stuff?! You would have had to special order a turkey like this, they don't have these in the summer in Storybrooke-" Killian came over to where she'd taken a seat at on a stool at the kitchen island and kissed her, completely distracting her from all the chaos that was happening in her mind. In an instant, all of the bizarre elements of their evening melted away, and by the time he pulled back, she'd completely forgotten her interrogation.

"Better?" She nodded, for how could she not be after a kiss like that. His eyes remained on hers, his thumb running against her cheek as he waited for her to elaborate. Confessing the rest of it was easy, since she knew Killian would never judge her. He just wanted to help her in any way he could.

"I just don't want you to think that you have to be this superhero kind of guy who takes care of everything. I'm scared you'll resent me because you think I need all these big things all the time when all I really need is you." Killian grinned at her words, and all of her worries melted away. It was a silly thought to have, for Killian was her true love, and had proven time and time again that he was always going to be there. She just got a little anxious, because things were going so well and she didn't want that to change.

By this point, Emma's hands were on him, unconsciously trying to pull him closer, and he allowed it for a moment before kissing her forehead and stepping away for just a second to grab the iPod. Over the past few weeks it had become one of his favorite new technological tools of this realm, ranked right up their with the wonders of electricity, and his fondness for Netflix. Bringing it back to her, his finger hovered over the button as he spoke.

"I've said it many times, Emma, but I've no qualms saying it again. I love you more than anything in this world. So much so that I've been listening to this song nearly all day, thinking of you, and wishing you were home with me." He pressed the button and through the speakers came one of Emma's favorite Beatles songs. "I'm not sure if eight days a week is strictly accurate. I have a feeling I truly love you far more." Emma smiled as he took her hand in his, leading her from the stool up on her feet once more.

"From anyone else I would call that a line, but with you I know it's somehow true." He moved his hook to her hip and brought her closer, so now only inches separated them.

"I've absolutely no idea how one dances to music like this in this realm, love, but I figure we can try it out." His eagerness to please her and his propensity for adventure, even in what she saw as the most mundane real world activities, was so endearing. He always claimed that she was his light, but it was his presence that brightened up her life so profoundly.

"You're not alone, Captain. This song is a classic, which is code for before my time. I'm new to this too." The light in his eyes at the revelation surprised Emma as he pulled her as close as he could into his arms.

"All the better, we'll figure it out together then." And there, in the kitchen of the house they shared, surrounded by an out of place turkey dinner and all the fixings, Emma and Killian danced around as he sang her all the words, reminding her in a cute and uplifting way, just how much he loved her. She sang along too, though she didn't hit the notes with anywhere near as much precision as he did, and in doing so she felt all of her cares and hesitations float away with the music.

Eventually the dancing concluded, and his lovely singing came to an end. It was for the best, since in order to eat all this food, he'd invited everyone he could think of over for dinner. With a last burst of energy, sound tracked to more songs about love and life from one of history's greatest bands, Emma and Killian got everything done to his specifications, and managed to host a beautiful holiday dinner on a random summer's eve.

Despite the arrival of their guests, Emma's mind was focused all through the meal on their moment together, and wondered in amazement how such a love could truly be. He made her a better person, someone who was braver and stronger and more understanding. All her life she'd heard these songs about love and the happiness it brought, but she never really understood their meaning or believed they could be as true as the claimed to be until him. It dawned on Emma in that moment that after all this time, Killian might just be the greatest teacher of them all, because while he was learning all these new things, he was also teaching Emma how to love, and how to be loved better than anyone else ever could.

…

 _Ooh, I need your love, babe  
Guess you know it's true  
Hope you need my love, babe  
Just like I need you_

 _Hold me, love me  
Hold me, love me  
I ain't got nothing but love, babe  
Eight days a week_

 _Love you every day, girl  
Always on my mind  
One thing I can say, girl  
Love you all the time_

 _Hold me, love me  
Hold me, love me  
I ain't got nothing but love, girl  
Eight days a week_

 _Eight days a week  
I love you  
Eight days a week  
Is not enough to show I care_

 _Ooh, I need your love, babe  
Guess you know it's true  
Hope you need my love, babe  
Just like I need you, oh_

 _Hold me, love me  
Hold me, love me  
I ain't got nothing but love, babe  
Eight days a week_

 _Eight days a week  
I love you  
Eight days a week  
Is not enough to show I care_

 _Love you every day, girl  
Always on my mind  
One thing I can say, girl  
Love you all the time_

 _Hold me, love me  
Hold me, love me  
I ain't got nothing but love, babe  
Eight days a week  
Eight days a week  
Eight days a week_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a little fluffy bit of CS cuteness for us all today. My afternoon was hectic and one I'd rather not have a repeat of any time soon, but finalizing this fic made all of that negative energy fade away. The impromptu Thanksgiving came from out of the blue (but in hindsight I may have written something like this at some point? No idea this is getting to be a very long collection). But I could really see it playing out in my mind, and thought you might all laugh along with me at imagining such a thing. I know so many of you love the fics where they are post-Underworld and Killian is trying to adjust, so this seemed like a fun way to do that. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	71. Everything

_**A/N: This addition to the mixtape is a slight continuation of last chapter (titled 'Eight Days a Week) because it was such a lovely fluffy premise. It starts with Killian's POV as he is on the hunt for the perfect wedding song for him and Emma to share their first dance to and ends with a little taste of Emma's reaction. With Henry's help, he settles on 'Everything' by Michael Buble, and I am using the live version as my inspiration since it's a bit slower, more melodic and just beautiful. Hope you guys enjoy!**_

Many things about this world intrigued Killian. It had been quite the process, throwing himself head first into learning all there was to know, but over time he'd adjusted, trying to do his best to understand so that he'd be less of a burden. He learned to drive, learned to work that blasted phone, and the television and the Netflix, and though each thing was strange at the start, he found he rather liked this way of living. It was certainly far easier than life on an old pirate ship had been. Hell, electricity might just have been the greatest kind of magic he'd ever seen. But in one segment of this world's culture he was still struggling and that was with the music.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, quite the contrary, he found many of the melodies pleasing, but none of the slower tunes spoke to him, none of them grabbed him in a way that he couldn't deny. According to Henry that pull was exactly what he needed right now whilst on the hunt for a wedding song. As he and Emma were marrying in less than a week's time, he needed to find inspiration, and he needed to find it now.

At first, Killian had been surprised and a bit skeptical of the tradition, curious as to why a favorite song would need to be chosen for the first dance, but Henry promised it was necessary, and Killian had learned not to question Henry about the workings of this world. The boy had a good head on his shoulders, and was just as determined to see Emma happy as Killian was, so here they were, flipping through song after song about love in the hopes of finding one that could actually work.

"How about this one?" Henry asked, his clipboard and paper where he was keeping track of everything before him. Killian listened but the words just didn't seem right this time. Last time it had been the tempo, the time before that the instrumentals, and this time it was the words. Killian was beginning to think the problem was with him and not this land's music, and a feeling of defeat washed over him as he shook his head. Henry crossed off the song and moved back to his iPod contraption to find another.

"Maybe if you told me exactly what you want to say, it might help." Killian considered Henry's words and spoke freely, or at least as freely as a future step-father could to a young boy.

"I want the song to tell her that she's the best part of my world. That through it all I know I have her, but I'm still in awe that she's mine. It should say that she's everything to me and I'll try my best to show her that every day." Henry nodded, still studiously looking through his machine before a big smile lit up his face.

"Here, let's try this." Killian listened to the song and instantly knew, even from the first few lines that this was the one. Relief flooded through him and he smiled at Henry, truly happy they'd found it.

"Aye, lad, this is the one." Henry grinned and wrote it down.

"I thought it might be. Mom loves this one too." Killian smiled, happy to hear that Emma would like his choice.

…

Emma still couldn't quite believe it, here she was, finally married to her true love, celebrating the day surrounded by family and friends and she was so incredibly happy it was hard to wrap her brain around it. She and Killian had said _'I do,'_ had promised each other forever, and now it was time for their first dance. Only when Killian took her hand, showing her to the dance floor did she realize that she hadn't picked a song for this moment. A bit of panic went through her, cutting through the happy sort of daze she'd been in. What if they played something horrible, like a cheesy school dance song, or the chicken dance? This could be terrible.

Killian pressed a kiss to her lips gently, pulling her out of her worry and back into the moment with him. He'd been smiling since the second he'd seen her walking down the aisle, and his pure joy hadn't waivered, not for a second. He calmed her, and instantly she realized that she didn't give a damn. They could share their first dance to heavy metal, and somehow they'd make it work. They'd been through worse. When she actually heard the start of the refrain though, and realized what song was playing, Emma was pleasantly surprised. Seeing Killian's triumphant smile, she knew he'd done this for her.

"Why this song?" Emma whispered as she swayed in his embrace, luxuriating the feeling of safety and love that washed over her.

"Because it was right. Nearly every lyric is how I feel. You are perfect for me Emma, and you truly are my everything." Emma couldn't help but kiss her husband, much to the fanfare of their guests, but she didn't care. All there was in this moment was Emma and Killian and their love, and he was right, that truly was everything.

…

 _You're a falling star, you're the get away car  
You're the line in the sand when I go too far  
You're the swimming pool on an August day  
And you're the perfect thing to see_

 _And you play you're coy, but it's kinda cute  
Oh, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do  
Baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true  
Cause you can see it when I look at you_

 _And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you; you make me sing  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything_

 _You're a carousel, you're a wishing well  
And you light me up when you ring my bell  
You're a mystery, you're from another place  
You're my every minute of my everyday_

 _And I can't believe, uh, that I'm your man  
And I get to kiss you, baby, just because I can  
Whatever comes our way, oh, we'll see it through  
And you know that's what our love can do_

 _And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you; you make me sing  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything_

 _So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la  
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la_

 _And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you; you make me sing  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything  
You're every song, and I sing along  
Cause you're my everything  
Yeah, yeah_

 _So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la_

 _ **Post-Note: Just the shortest little fic today in addition to the update I made for another story, because I needed just a bit more fluff, but I hope you guys enjoy and thank you so much for reading!**_


	72. A Little Too Much

_**A/N: Despite having found her true love, and their surviving hell against all the odds, Emma still has moments when the world feels like it's caving in. In those instances, she reverts back to the person she used to be, scared and guarded, but Killian is always there, waiting for the fog of her anxiety to ebb away. Married post-underworld CS fic told from Killian's POV but then we switch to Emma for a resolution later. I wrote this missing my fic 'Steady' and so this post-underworld fic kind of harks back to one of the elements from that story. Inspired by Shawn Mendes' "A Little Too Much." Rated M, but there's really just a hint of smut.**_

Killian Jones always prided himself on being a survivor. He made no secret of his past anymore, and he'd come to value every portion of his life for it brought him to Emma, his true love, and the one person in the world who mattered most. With her, he was finding a happily ever after, but it wasn't like the glossy fairytale renditions that this land without magic held on so tightly too. There were good days and bad, wonderful highs and intense struggles. What made it all worth it was that there never came a moment when Killian would rather be anywhere other than by Emma's side. Together they were stronger, and together they had a shot at a life truly worth living.

Perhaps it was the magical connection between them, or simply his own more observatory nature, but Killian had a knack for sensing when Emma was leaning towards relapse back into the guarded person she once was. Between the two of them, the walls never fully erected again, but sometimes, in the thick of fighting a new enemy, or in the face of impending danger, Emma panicked and isolated herself from all of the others. She had so much to lose, and felt so strongly that it was her job to save and to protect them all, and in those moments it was up to Killian to remind her that it would all be okay.

"That's not going to work! These guys aren't guided by any sort of goodness. We can't just make them see the light. Hoping for the best isn't going to get us anywhere!" As Killian walked into the sheriff station, he heard the subtle notes of fear laced in Emma's frustration. He did not know at who the words were aimed, though he suspected from the phrasing used that it was one of her parents.

"Hope is our best asset, Emma. Being the good guys means-" Snow's words were interrupted as Emma threw her hands up in surrender.

"I know what being one of the good guys means! Trust me, when you're the savior you kind of understand." Killian could see the sadness in Snow White's eyes. Surely she wanted to help her daughter, but anyone who knew Emma must see that she was going about it the wrong way. What Emma needed in this moment was not the typical hope-inspired pep talk, but someone to remind her that she was not alone and that no one expected her to carry this burden all on her own.

"Swan." Just saying her name brought Emma's full attention to him, and he watched as some of the tension in her green eyes slipped away. Her shoulders lost some of their rigidity, and she gave a nod, walking towards him. Taking her hand in his, Killian led them both outside into the morning sunlight for a quick reprieve.

Once they were outside, Killian brought her to the small alcove out of the line of sight of any passersby and stepped close, so he was holding Emma in his arms. Killian relished the fact that even with her anxieties she accepted such affection. The two of them had come so far, and he was happy to help her maintain all her good progress with the rest of her family as well. She took a moment to just breathe and feel and work things out in her head a bit while Killian waited patiently, knowing she would speak when she was ready.

"I know I can't keep losing my cool with them, but sometimes… I don't know, my instincts still scream at me to be realistic. They are so far from any kind of reality I've ever encountered that it's like they're not hearing me." Killian could understand her frustration, for he himself often found the constant optimism of the Charmings taxing, and he didn't have the same sort of familial obligations that Emma had. Yes, he was technically their son-in-law, but their love for Emma came with expectations that often ended up triggering her.

"Things have always worked out for your parents, love. They don't understand the risks as acutely as you do." Emma nodded, relief flooding her features.

"Exactly! We can't afford to underestimate our enemies on the chance that thing will turn out all right in the end just because we're good people. Look at how many people we've lost, and how many times I've nearly lost you." Killian kissed her forehead, a subtle reminder that he was here with her and not going anywhere. He felt her fingers grasp onto his jacket a little tighter, as if holding him close would keep any bad from touching them.

"What do you think we need to do?" Emma was quiet a moment before explaining to him that their current foe didn't have any understandable motive yet. Without knowing what they were after, none of the heroes could hope to stop the intended evil. She made good points, and since she was with Killian, she never wandered back into hostility. Killian now just needed to enable this returned calm to continue when they met her family once again.

"Your parents are used to you being the picture of perfect capability, love. You're a natural born leader, and there's a power in that that rivals any of your magic." Emma's small smile at the words told Killian that they had finally reached their necessary point, the one where she could see the bigger picture, and was letting the walls come down once more.

"I have to apologize, don't I?" Emma asked, and the resignation in her voice had Killian biting back a smile. She certainly wasn't thrilled with the prospect, but yes, good manners and kindness dictated that she must.

"You can do whatever you'd like, Swan. I'll stand beside you either way." Emma kissed him briefly, pulling away much too soon for Killian's liking and smiled.

"You always do." Killian reached out to take her hand in his once more and their fingers intertwined together like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was hard to believe that at one point Emma had been just as guarded with him as he she could be with others, for now they shared everything – burdens, joys, it didn't matter. Even before they'd said their _'I dos'_ they'd had this closeness, and Killian valued it above all things in his life.

"And I always will." A smirk played at Emma's lips now, and in an instant, Killian knew that he was in trouble. "What, love?"

"Nothing. Just thinking of how I can thank my doting husband for this later." Killian audibly gulped, knowing his wife to be a siren even without trying. In the moments when she purposely set out to seduce him, as she no doubt intended to now, she nearly killed him. Last time, for instance, she'd recreated the getup she'd worn on their jaunt through space and time in the enchanted forest when parading as a bar wench, and when there was no past him to be jealous of, he'd found it more than desirable. Now he'd walk through the rest of this day wondering what she might have in store. Gods help him, for he was destined for distraction all day long.

…

Arriving back home after a solid day's effort collecting intel about the new big bad, Emma felt better than she'd ever dreamed possible given the start of her morning. Days like this tended to happen every once in a while, where she woke up and felt on edge, not because she didn't love her family and know they loved her back, but because things became too heavy and too intense. Sometimes things just got to be a little too much to handle.

With Killian at her side though, those episodes never lasted as long as they had in her past. Before him and even before Storybrooke, Emma suffered from the same type of anxiety and worry, but Killian calmed her like nothing else ever had. She might be the one with magic technically, but his power was one she marveled at. His ability to secure her love and trust so strongly was nothing short of a miracle, and she really was grateful for it and for him every day.

Turning towards Killian as she stripped off her jacket, she noticed that he was watching her very carefully as he shut the front door, and she couldn't keep the grin from her face. He'd been more reserved than usual with his words today. At no point did he leave her handing, always supporting her and giving her exactly what she needed, but she knew her comments earlier about making it up to him were never far away. His usually bright blue eyes were dark with yearning and it sent a shiver of anticipation through her body.

"Something on your mind, Captain?" Killian let out a low growl at the playful line, and Emma reveled in it, liking that she had just as much power over his moods as he did hers.

"Quite a few things, love, but I'm sure none of them compare to what you might think up." He moved closer to her, boxing her in so she the back of her legs hit one of the side tables in their front hallway. Her hands came to clutch his shirt for balance, and now it was Killian grinning.

"I might have something, but it'll be better in our bed." That was all Emma needed to say for Killian to pick her up with ease and get them to her intended destination. Emma couldn't help the giggle that came at the ridiculous display, but she always loved when he got like this, hungry for her to a degree that he just took what he wanted. When he'd put her back on the ground just before their bed, Emma pulled her pair of handcuffs from her back pocket and watched Killian's eyes go wide.

"An interesting thought indeed, love." Emma tossed them on the bed as she unbuttoned her shirt and stripped out of her pants. Killian's gaze never stopped tracking her movements even as he made to get out of his own clothes.

"I think they'll be even more interesting if they're the only thing I'm wearing tonight." _Jackpot_ , Emma thought while watching Killian who was practically crazed with wanting to explore the possibilities she'd just offered up to him. Emma knew that there would never in a million years have ever been another man who she could do this with. It involved the highest level of trust, and the only person who'd ever earn that from her was Killian.

"These are usually reserved for the bad guys, Swan." Emma stepped forward, running her fingertips over his chest as she nipped at his bottom lip, purposely provoking him.

"I can be a little bad when the time calls for it." Killian's arms came around her, his hand running down the contours of her naked body, teasing with just the lightest of touches when Emma wanted so much more.

"Don't I know it love." From there they were both lost to an intricate dance of touches and kisses and every good thing. They tested the strength of their trust, finding only pleasure in pushing both of their limits. Through it all they were both chasing the same thing, which was release born of love and lust and the unique union of them together. As being with Killian always was, it was the brightest part of her day, a blip of pure bliss in what she hoped would be a long and happy life with the man she loved.

For the rest of the night, the entire world around them faded away. Neither of them had any cares for what lay beyond the four walls of their home together, but it was all for the best. Their togetherness made both Emma and Killian stronger, and in the end that sacred bond and the ties of true love enabled them to face all the foes that eventually came their way.

There were still moments of course, on both their parts, where the anxieties and pressures of life got to them, but they were never alone, and those dark moments never lasted for long. And all that peace and healing - well, that was exactly the kind of happily ever after both Emma and Killian truly deserved.

…

 _She would not show that she was afraid,  
But being and feeling alone was too much to face,  
Though everyone said that she was so strong,  
What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on,_

 _But she knew that she would be okay,  
So she didn't let it get in her way,_

 _Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much,_

 _She would always tell herself she could do this  
She would use no help it would be just fine  
But when it got hard she would lose her focus  
So take my hand and we'll be alright_

 _And she knew that she would be okay,  
So she didn't let it get in her way,_

 _Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much, yeah._

 _A little too much, I said a little too much, oh_

 _Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much yeah!_

 _Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much_

 _ **Post-Note: Just another addition to the mixtape aimed at showing loving and supportive CS. I love watching them be each other's cheerleaders. I want to see only more of it in the future because it's adorable. Until then, though, I'll just keep making my own and throwing levels of smut in that a network family show will never have. I hope you guys liked this chapter, and I thank you all so much for reading!**_


	73. Beautiful To Me

_**A/N: For this chapter I am rewriting the scene from 4x09 where Killian tells Emma he's a fan of every part of her. I have kind of done this before, but I moved the scene to 4x03. It's kind of complicated - see ch. 33 if you want to understand better. But in this cannon divergent fic Killian is not under Gold's control because Gold was unable to take his heart and so the moment can mean more and go on longer. Killian's POV and eventually a little smuffy. Inspired by the song 'Beautiful to Me' by Olly Murs.**_

Rushing into the mansion, Killian felt raw panic grip at him. He had to keep Emma from making this terrible mistake, from giving up a part of her and in the process putting herself and everyone she loved at risk. As he moved through the corridors, he frantically searched until finally his eyes found her.

"Swan! Are you all right?" He largely ignored Queen Elsa beside Emma, running over to hug his Swan, and finding her pleasantly surprised. She looked to be in good spirits, and that was all well and good, but for a moment he just needed to hold her and be sure that she was here and safe and whole. As he held Emma in his arms, Elsa filled him in.

"She didn't do it. She didn't take away her magic." Killian closed his eyes for a moment, his hand still running through the silky strands of her hair thanking the Gods that she'd chosen to remain as she was always meant to be.

"Wow, I've never seen people so happy about me _not_ doing something." Killian chuckled a bit at her words, knowing her jokes to be a means of coping. She was still getting used to the two of them together, and to the fact that he so openly cared for her. Throwing words between them and making light of all she'd done, helped Emma to feel like she didn't stand out too much. It was a failing effort, at least in his eyes, for she'd always be the light in the darkness for him. He pulled back to promise her his help in the conflict ahead.

"We'll find another way to defeat the Snow Queen – together." She gave him the smallest half smile before he set upon kissing her. For a moment she was just as lost as him but then she pulled away, reminding him of their audience and his horrible rudeness.

"Mm. Easy tiger, we've got company." Her words were strange to him, but the look in her eyes, and the breathiness in her voice told him everything he needed to know about his Emma in that moment. She was a little flustered, but happy with his display. This wasn't who she saw herself as, but she liked him well enough to see where things might lead and for that he was eternally grateful. It was his current priority to prove to her he was worthy of her trust and her love, for she already had his heart securely in her hands. "I didn't know you were such a fan of my magic."

"Why would you say that, Swan?" He laughed a bit at the thought that she would think so, unable to keep the grin from his face. "I'm a fan of every part of you."

"Is that right?" Now she was playing with him, dangling out her interest when she knew bloody well that he could take this no further. Emma's words extended a challenge to him though, and he stepped close, whispering low so that her friend wouldn't hear his reply.

"Perhaps you'd like if I showed you _exactly_ what I mean later, love." He watched her eyes widen, and her cheeks flush, but she gave a jerked nod and he smiled, taking a step back. "For now we should go outside, I'm sure there are a lot of worried people who'll be glad to see you."

Killian noticed that Emma kept her hands on him, first by holding the lapel of his jacket and then moving down to take his hand in hers. Her body tilted towards him, whether she noticed it or not, and her smile… well her smile was like seeing color in a world of black and white. Every time he received one of those precious looks, Killian remembered the first time he'd seen her, and how his world had exploded into possibility. Underneath her armor and her walls, was a woman more vibrant and awe inspiring than any person he'd ever known, it was just about making her comfortable enough with him and with herself, to set Emma free.

She reunited with her family, the lot of them enjoying the fireworks display her magic brought about, and though danger still lay ahead in the form of curses and villains and evil, Killian felt Emma relax by his side. Like this, easy going and appreciating things about herself and the others around her, Emma was more gorgeous than ever, and it took everything in Killian to fight off his baser instincts and carry her away to worship her properly.

Eventually the opportunity presented itself for another moment alone. Henry went home with Regina, and the Charmings with baby Neal and Elsa, but Emma gave him indication that she wasn't yet ready to say goodnight. Without needing to confirm, Killian brought her back to the room he had at Granny's as he had before and locked the door behind them, securing her safety in the only way he could. Meeting Emma's eyes, it was impossible to deny the hunger he saw in those emerald green beauties.

"It's technically later now." Emma said, after removing her jacket and coming to stand just in front of him. Her hands gripped at the leather he wore and pushed off the offending garment, but he used her focus on revealing his body to her eyes to turn their positions. Now her back lay against the wooden door and he heard her surprised gasp laced with wanting. A flush across her cheeks told Killian she was just as eager as he was for this moment alone. They were few and far between, but every second spent in her presence like this made the wait worth it.

"You're right, love. I suppose you'd like to hear all the things about you that I fancy." His hand made it's way under the soft material of her sweater and touched bare skin, tracing a line at her hip. He watched her shiver at the contact and grinned. "You'll have to say it, love. I can't give you what you want, unless I know what you desire."

"Tell me," her whispered plea set something off inside of him and his lips came crashing down to hers in a demanding kiss. She gave him everything he wanted, no hesitation at all as she opened her mouth to his and met him beat for glorious beat. When he finally pulled back, he kissed along her jaw and to her neck, feeling her wiggling under the ministrations in a silent plea for more.

"I love how strong and bright you are, Emma. You are one of the most intelligent people I've ever met and you're unafraid of letting me know it." She smiled but it devolved into a moan as his teeth grazed against her pulse point. He pulled back a moment to remove her sweater, revealing more of her perfect curves and creamy skin for his perusal.

"You never doubt me, even when I am wrong, you still support me no matter what." Killian's hand stilled where it was on her waist, and he felt a tightness in his chest at her words. He hadn't realized they'd be exchanging compliments, but he found he rather liked that idea, even more than he liked the feel of her unbuttoning his vest and running her fingertips against him.

"I love that you're stubborn and constantly vying for control, but your slowly learning that sometimes others can carry the burdens with you." Emma sighed as he unclasped her bra and arched towards him in invitation.

"I only ever do that with you. I trust you." He'd been hard since the moment they'd entered the room, but his cock strained against his pants at the words. She couldn't possibly know what it meant to him to hear her say that out loud. His own admissions took a break as he set upon her breasts, but he gathered she was fine with that if her moans and pleas for more were anything to go by.

Unable to deny her, Killian and Emma stripped the rest of their clothes off each other as he whispered more things about her that he cherished, like her love for her family, her protective instincts and her will to be good. He also peppered in praise about how beautiful she was, and how each and every feature on her person made him want her and made her the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

"Killian, _please_." The way that she asked him for release and gratification drove him crazy as he spread her out on the bed and took her as he'd wished to all day, first with his hand, then his mouth and finally his cock. All the while he watched her fall apart, transforming into the most glorious of visions as she did so. Emma was heaven itself, the miracle he didn't deserve but would do anything to be worthy of, and when she finally demanded that he really take her and let go himself, he did just that.

In the past, Emma always left his bed quickly. She had little time to completely devote to him, what with the rest of the claims on her time and attention, but he never complained, even if it hurt like hell to watch her walk away. Tonight though, she didn't move, instead nestling beside him, allowing him to hold her and clearly taking pleasure in their closeness.

"You like a lot of things about me," Emma said smiling and he responded without first stopping to filter his words.

"That's what tends to happen when you love somebody." Her eyes grew wide, and Killian began to panic slightly that he'd just messed everything up by going far too quickly.

"You love me?" She asked, not moving away at all when she did so, and Killian rallied. Nodding as he spoke.

"Aye, love. I do." When she pulled him down for a kiss, he felt ecstatic that she wasn't running from him but he never expected her to pull back so quickly and say the four words that would completely change his world forever.

"I love you too." He couldn't keep the stupid grin off of his face, as he held her tighter. "Its kind of scaring me to death how much I do." Killian ran his thumb across her lips as his hand came up to cup her face.

"Why love?" Emma sighed.

"Because I thought I was in love before, but nothing ever compared to this. If I was as lost as I was when those relationships went bad, how will I survive losing you?" Killian kissed her lightly.

"Easy. I'll never leave you or deceive you." Emma rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same.

"That's not a promise you can make."

"On the contrary, Swan. I'm uniquely qualified to do so. I'm a survivor as you well know, and since hurting you would cause injury to my heart as well, I've no intentions of letting you down." Her hand came to rest above his chest, just over his heart.

"But why? I don't make it easy to love me, but still you're so sure." Killian took her hand in his at the words and laced their fingers together.

"I've never found anything that came more naturally to me, than loving you." Killian knew it would take more time for Emma to see how much he really meant those words. She wanted to believe him, but her life had shown her such promises were meant to be broken. To be the first (and hopefully only) man to prove that belief wrong was all he aimed to do, but it would take time and patience, both of which he was willing to give her.

Eventually she did leave him, the call of the troubles around them too loud to ignore, but he never faulted her for her obligations. He trusted that with the passage of enough time they'd find the way to make this work, a way for him to fit inside her life that didn't cause her stress of anxiety. They found that balance and the means to build their life together instead of apart in the end of course, and all the while Killian marveled at how lucky he was to have secured the love of such a remarkable woman.

…..

 _She, ties her hair up tight  
Puts her armour on  
When she steps outside  
She, lives in black and white  
And the colours gone,  
But its in her eyes_

 _Time and time again we're going back to the start  
And I try and try again to bring some light to the dark  
I know everyday's a battle and it tears her apart  
And I don't know why  
And I'm picking up the pieces when they fall to her feet  
She's been fighting all the demons so she'll never be free  
She's been hiding in the shadows yeah its hard to believe,  
But I don't know why_

 _Love, don't ever change the way you are,  
You light the sky just like a star  
I don't care what you say you're  
Beautiful to me, oh_

 _She, she never gets it right  
And it feels like rain on a perfect night  
And I'll, I'll be a hand to hold  
You can push me hard, but I won't let go_

 _Time and time again we're going back to the start  
And I try and try again to bring some light to the dark  
I know everyday's a battle and it tears her apart  
Don't you cry my_

 _Love, don't ever change the way you are,  
You light the sky just like a star,  
I don't care what you say you're  
Beautiful to me_

 _Love, open your arms and let it go,  
You're so amazing don't you know,  
I don't care what you say you're  
Beautiful to me, oh_

 _Light breaks through your hair and  
They all stop and stare and  
I'd go anywhere oh why can't you just see that  
I'm crazy about you  
I can't live without you  
You don't see it but you're  
Beautiful to me_

 _Love, don't ever change the way you are  
You light the sky just like a star  
I don't care what you say you're  
Beautiful to me, oh_

 _Love, don't ever change the way you are  
You light the sky just like a star  
I don't care what you say you're  
Beautiful to me_

 _Love, open your heart and let it go  
You're so amazing don't you know  
I don't care what you say you're  
Beautiful to me_

 _You're beautiful to me_

 _ **Post-Note: Okay just a bit of cuteness for today. I thought I was actually going to be doing an update on one of my multi-chapters but the muses brought me elsewhere, and they so often lead me here, to the mixtape. I hope you guys enjoy and are having a lovely week!**_


	74. Love Is A Verb

_**A/N: A post-Underworld fic built around Killian finding a bunch of relationship how-to books of Emma's when cleaning up under her side of the bed. He asks her why they're all there and she tells him she's trying to do this right. Things get cute and a little smutty, as they so often do in this mixtape. Inspired by 'Love is a Verb' by John Mayer. Rated M.**_

In times of trouble, when Storybrooke was under attack, or some portal or other had been opened and half of their group was lost, no one gave much care for the more domestic worries and woes awaiting them at home. Now, though, such considerations were what Killian busied himself with. Dinner, cleaning – anything that could help Emma and take some anxieties off of her plate, he sought to complete, which was why this monstrosity of a house that they now lived in together was getting the cleaning of a life time.

Existence on a ship might not constitute the highest standard of living, but Killian had been adamant all his years as Captain that his ship would be clean. How this house could fall into more questionable states of disarray, he'd never know. Still it had, and here he was, finding hidden gems amongst the bookshelves and dresser drawers.

Some of the furnishings were the product of enchantment, but amongst those were actual belongings of Emma's and Henry's and even Killian's. The trinkets of the former especially intrigued him. She had such an assortment of items, each he was sure with their own story, and Killian only knew a handful. At least he had a lifetime ahead of him to hear each and every one of them. Only a few weeks ago he'd asked Emma for her hand in marriage to which she'd agreed. They would be more than true love soon; they would also be husband and wife.

The strangest of Killian's homebound discoveries today though, was not a totem from the past, or a modern piece of gadgetry, but a collection of literature taking up residence under Emma's side of their bed. The titles brought a smile to Killian's lips along with a whole lot of confusion. _Relationship 1-2-3, How To Be You With Him, 1+1 Makes Love_ , the lunacy went on and on.

"What the bloody hell is all of this?!" Killian asked the empty space around him as he pulled up all of the books onto the bed itself. Sitting down he began to thumb through the pages, and soon a minute turned to more, much, much more. Hours later, Emma found him there, and her shock was evident, as was her embarrassment if the rosy flush on her cheeks gave any indication.

"Oh shit." Now Killian couldn't help the smile that came. His Swan didn't curse very often, aside from in their bed and when caught in a very bad situation. Right now she must be truly feeling off balance.

"Care to explain to me why such a collection has accrued, and what in all of this ridiculousness you've found helpful?" Emma shook her head, looking at the books with a grimace.

"Not really." Killian stood, wrapping an arm around her waist before using his fingers to lift her chin. She needed to look at him, and they needed to get to the bottom of this.

"See Swan, I was under the impression that things between us were going well." Emma looked remorseful, her hand coming to his chest instinctively just above his heart.

"We are. I mean they are. Those books don't reflect on how I feel about you. I just-" Killian waited, needing her answers more than he needed to hear himself speak in this moment. "I don't want to mess this up. I cannot lose you, and I started to worry that maybe next time it wouldn't be a big bad who stole you from me. Maybe I would mess this up somehow."

"So you thought to consult the experts?" That was a more flattering name for these quacks that believed the preposterousness they wrote down in these books.

"I figured it couldn't hurt. Until I read them and I realized they're all crap. I mean the stuff in there is _really_ terrible." Killian laughed at that.

"Aye love, but still you collected more and more, why?" Emma shrugged again.

"Even if it was mostly abysmal, there's some things in there that make sense. Like this for example." Emma pulled back, bringing one of the books to his attention and flipping to a dog-eared chapter. She handed the book to Killian who read the highlighted portion.

"' _It's critical to remember that love is a verb. You need to show it and live it, not just say it. Trust and connection can only exist when you use love as action and not as simple premise._ '" Well that was a good point, but the problem was Emma seemed not to understand that they already did that. They needed no instruction from self-proclaimed love gurus, only to follow their instincts.

"It was more reminder than anything else. Any of the good chunks in here always are, and what started as something I was using to try and better myself, became a way of validating that I'm not messing this up. You and I… we work just the way we are, and I love that about us." Killian released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as he brought his mouth down to kiss her lips.

"Alright love, as long as you realize that what we have transcends all of this. It might not be what's expected, but it is perfect as far as I'm concerned." Emma smiled then, the tension from her face easing away. Killian watched her green eyes fill with a bit of mirth and knew in that moment he was in for a bit of trouble.

"I still like the idea of _showing_ you how much I love you, though." Emma's hands trailed lower down his chest, and he thanked the Gods he'd opted for lighter apparel today as he'd cleaned, it meant Emma was able to reach bare skin that much faster. Her fingertips moved underneath the cotton of his black t-shirt and he bit back a hiss at how good it felt.

"I rather like that idea as well, love." She nipped at his lower lip as she unbuttoned her blouse, now looking at him with undeniable hunger in her eyes.

"I don't need a book to tell me that this part might go better if we're naked." Now Killian did growl, loving this side of Emma, the one more than willing to take what she wanted and to use him to get all the satisfaction she could ever want. He matched her slow but steady pace of removing his clothes as she did the same with hers.

Once undressed, Emma pushed him back on the bed, a grin falling into place on her face. Killian pushed the remaining books off the bed without tearing his gaze from Emma. Her final piece to strip away was the tie that held her hair, and when the curtain of her golden locks fell down, Killian felt all breath leave him. He'd said it before and he'd say it again a million times, his Swan was a vision and he was a very lucky man.

"Feel it yet?" Emma whispered as she moved above him, leaning down to kiss him with just a brush of her lips on his.

"Hunger? Desire? A pounding in my chest that makes me fear for my survival for the first time in a long time? I feel all of it, love, and so much more." Emma smiled, moving her kisses to his jaw and then his neck.

"I meant do you feel how much I love you?" Hearing the bit of cockiness in her voice only made Killian need her more. She knew that she owned him, body and soul and was using that in her favor right now. He hoped she'd never stop, as long as it always felt like this.

"I always do, love. Even in our darkest hours I know, and my faith in us isn't going anywhere." Emma's face softened at the words, and he used the to his advantage, flipping their positions only for her to groan.

"You distracted me!" Killian chuckled against her throat, nipping slightly and pulling another moan past her lips. He hadn't had her since this morning, and now that she was home and in their bed, he wasn't letting her go any time soon. If he needed a bit of distraction to achieve what he knew they both so desperately wanted, he would use that.

And Emma _did_ want this, he could see that clear as day as his fingers moved across her body and his mouth placed a mixture of gentle and rough kisses down that beautiful neck to her collar and to her breasts. Whatever walls and means of guarding herself from the world Emma might have were gone when in this room and in his arms. His fiancé was as responsive as she was lovely, and studying her every labored breath and subtle arch for more fueled his own need. All the days of his life he hoped to spend in such a fashion, learning more and more about his love and savoring her brilliance in this way.

"It's all in the name of showing you my love, Swan. Surely you can have no objections." He moved down her body, pleasuring her all the while but still Emma managed to respond.

"I don't, but I should. It wouldn't kill you to really let me lead for once." Killian kissed her inner thigh and grinned.

"Actually, it just might." Besides, Killian loved watching Emma fall apart too much to ever sacrifice seeing it. Maybe that made him selfish, he would even bet the books she'd been reading would say just that, but again he didn't care. This worked for them, and Emma's shattering climax that came by his mouth was proof of that.

"Okay, you win. Your way is way better." Killian chuckled as his moved up the rest of her body, flipping them once more so she could straddle him again.

"In the name of fairness and of compromise, let's make it _our_ way." Emma smiled at him, sliding down upon him and setting a rhythm designed to give them both profound pleasure. Finding that mutual release felt like being torn apart at the seams and completely healed all at once, and it compared only to getting to hold Emma in his arms in the aftermath.

"Compromise is critical for marriage if my sources are correct." Killian arched a brow at Emma's comment until she rolled her eyes. "The books are not the sources. It's more of a generalized saying." Killian kissed the little furrow in her brow away.

"Aye Swan, I have heard that myself a time or two, and we just proved how well compromise works." She smiled, absently running her hands along his arm. The glint of the diamond ring he'd given her caught his eye and reminded him of all the future they still had left to live.

"We make a pretty good team."

"That we do, love." Her hand moved across his body starting the frenzy of wanting her all over again which only amplified when she smirked at him.

"Maybe we can put that team work to the test too as we get cleaned up." She pulled him from their bed and into the bathroom towards their shower and he couldn't help but mumble about her being a _bloody temptation_ once or twice. Killian also made a silent vow as she pulled him under the spray to undertake another big cleaning project soon so as to hopefully uncover more possessions of Emma's that could bring such a spectacular interlude again.

…

 _Love is a verb  
It ain't a thing  
It's not something you own  
It's not something you scream_

 _When you show me love  
I don't need your words  
Yeah love ain't a thing  
Love is a verb  
Love ain't a thing  
Love is a verb_

 _Love ain't a crutch  
It ain't an excuse  
No you can't get through love  
On just a pile of IOUS_

 _Love ain't a drug  
Despite what you've heard  
Yeah love ain't a thing  
Love is a verb  
Love ain't a thing  
Love is a verb_

 _So you gotta show, show, show me  
Show, show, show me  
Show, show, show me  
That love is a verb_

 _Yeah you gotta show, show, show me  
Show, show, show me  
Show, show, show me  
That love is a verb_

 _Love ain't a thing  
Love is a verb_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a little fluffy cuteness. I love exploring Emma's want to do things right, and this seemed like a fun way to do that. Hope you all enjoyed and that you are all having a lovely evening!**_


	75. Baby It's Warm Outside

_**A/N: This post-underworld fic was based off of a reader suggestion for the mixtape. They wanted 'Baby It's Cold Outside' (the version by The Hound and The Fox, which is fantastic by the way) and I decided to finally write a 'Summertime Christmas' fic for my CS babies. Expect fluff, and cuteness as I write another fic about heat waves in Storybrooke. I hope you enjoy and thank you all for reading!**_

It's not that Emma didn't love summer – because of course the sun and the longer daylight hours and the intermittent chances to do summery things like beach days and barbeques were all great. She even got to not worry about Henry missing school (which after the past few years fighting big bads, was a welcome change) and to spend more time with her son in a less dramatic environment.

But one thing Emma did _not_ like about summer in the slightest was how hot it got. Even here, on the coast of Maine, they were averaging ninety-degree days, and walking around town on her sheriff's beat was sweltering work. Her red jacket was long gone, hung up for the foreseeable future, and Emma just thanked the universe for lax uniform regulations. If she'd been in her typical fare, she'd likely die from heat stroke. As it was, her t-shirt and jean shorts still clung to her in an uncomfortable way.

Right now, all she wanted was to get back home. Her shift would be ending in about thirty minutes time, and then she'd get her wish, but until then, Emma tried to distract herself with potential remedies from the heat. Times like this she really, really regretted not getting some tips from Elsa or even the Snow Queen on how to conjure winter weather. Such a skill would be so useful right now, even if it just came in the form of a little personal cloud to keep her cool. As it was, though, Emma would likely just end up settling for a shower, a cold drink and relaxing under the AC vent back at home.

"Another hot one today," David said as Emma walked into the station once more, her rounds now completed.

"That would be an understatement," Emma replied as she stepped in front of the fan and sighed in relief. It wasn't much, but it was definitely better than being in direct sunlight as she had been most of today.

"Forecast says the weather is supposed to break pretty soon." Emma closed her eyes, hoping that was true.

"If it doesn't we'll be in for a lot more calls like the ones I got today." Almost every complaint that came into the station over the past few hours was the product of heat-induced insanity. The dwarves were fighting, kids were messing with the fire hydrants and the fountain in the park, and when the freezer momentarily broke at the ice cream shop, there was pure chaos. Luckily, they'd had it fixed before the ice cream melted, but it had been touch and go. Emma had gotten some rocky road out of it though, so that was a positive.

"A heroes work is never done, it's just kind of disheartening when the enemy is the weather and there's nothing you can do but wait it out and make sure the town doesn't completely fall apart." Emma laughed, loving that her Dad got how she felt about this. She was grateful to live in a place like Storybrooke, surrounded by her family and friends, but it got exhausting even in times of peace like this. "You should head home, Emma, I've got it from here."

Typically Emma might have argued that she was fine to stay, but not today. Right now all she wanted was to get home to see her guys. This morning at breakfast, both Killian and Henry deflected when asked about their plans for today, claiming that they didn't have anything going on, but Emma knew if that was the case, they both would have visited her at the station. Whatever adventure they enjoyed today, Emma just hoped they'd had fun and got a good story or two out of it for her. She could use some second-hand excitement after a day like today.

Emma used her magic to poof to the front porch, not wanting to walk anymore today, but still respecting the basic ground rule that Henry and Killian pleaded for a few months back. She had nearly scared them both to death when transporting directly into the house a number of times and this was their best form of compromise. As her hand reached for the front door though, she noticed a loud whirring sound coming from around the back of their home. Stalking towards the culprit, Emma didn't know what to expect. Before she turned the corner, Emma heard Killian's voice float in from the back as well.

" _Henry, you're going to need to be a little more specific. Left? Right? Center? How are we looking, lad?"_

" _A little to the left. No_ your _left. Okay, that's it, perfect!"_ Emma was intrigued at what the hell could be happening, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight before her when she walked into the backyard.

The transformation to the lawn and patio was undeniable and Emma looked on, slack jawed at the space around her. Somehow, through means Emma could not even begin to comprehend, Killian and Henry had created Christmas, and not just decorations (of which there were tons, with garland and wreaths and even a tree), but snow and everything. Emma felt a cool breeze in the air and watched the machine working in the corner churning out white puffs of snow. Killian noticed Emma first and though he looked surprised, he also appeared to be glad at her arrival.

"Swan, you're home early!" Emma nodded.

"How did you – I mean what is – _huh_?" Emma couldn't even get the words out, but Henry came up and grabbed her hand to show her around. Her son's eager excitement was contagious, and Emma couldn't keep the huge grin from spreading on her face.

"I told Killian about the year we spent in New York and how we picked one day that summer to play wintertime music and watch Christmas movies. So we made this, to bring that back, and make the memories we had of that tradition real."

Emma felt herself tearing up at all the things they'd managed to make for her. There were shout outs to some of her favorite Christmas films, and all the best Christmas snacks. It really did feel almost like being in a winter wonderland despite how hot it was outside, and Emma learned that was due to a little help from Regina. The Ex-Evil Queen managed to draw a magical line around the whole backyard that kept the heat from coming in so all they'd feel was the coolness of the snow. It was truly wonderful, and Emma made a note to ask her how to do that for next time.

"You did all this for me?" Emma asked Killian as Henry bounded back into the house to grab some last minute items before everyone else came to this impromptu Christmas party. Her charming pirate blushed a bit as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Aye, love. Henry and I wanted to give you something after the hard week of work you've had with this sun-induced madness." Emma laughed at that before pulling him in for a kiss. She couldn't imagine another man on earth who would ever be so thoughtful, or such a good role model for her son. How she'd ever gotten this lucky she would never know.

"I love you," Emma said, without a doubt in her mind that Killian was her forever love, and that he and Henry were the best gifts she'd ever been given just by being who they were.

"As I love you, Swan. Now let's enjoy the party, and don't worry, I've hung a bit of mistletoe throughout the place so I can go on kissing you all evening." Taking his hand in hers, Emma went through the rest of the night feeling wonderful in their little bubble of winter.

Reality eventually returned of course, but a few days later, the heat did indeed recede and Emma almost felt a little sad to see it go. In the end the summer sun had granted her a truly beautiful memory, one she would cherish always.

…

 _I really can't stay (But baby, it's cold outside)_

 _I've got to go away (But baby, it's cold outside)_

 _This evening has been (Been hoping that you'd drop in)_

 _So very nice (I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)_

 _My mother will start to worry (Beautiful, what's your hurry?)_

 _My father will be pacing the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)_

 _So really I'd better scurry (Beautiful, please don't hurry)_

 _But maybe just a half a drink more (Put some records on while I pour)_

 _The neighbors might think (Baby, it's bad out there)_

 _Say, what's in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)_

 _I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)_

 _To break this spell (I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell)_

 _I ought to say no, no, no, sir (Mind if I move in closer?)_

 _At least I'm gonna say that I tried (What's the sense in hurting my pride?)_

 _I really can't stay (Baby, don't hold out)_

 _Oh, but it's cold outside_

 _I simply must go (But baby, it's cold outside)_

 _The answer is no (But baby, it's cold outside)_

 _This welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)_

 _So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)_

 _My sister will be suspicious (Gosh, your lips look delicious)_

 _My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)_

 _My maiden aunt's mind is vicious (Gosh, your lips are delicious)_

 _But maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before)_

 _I've got to get home (But baby, you'll freeze out there)_

 _Say, lend me your coat (It's up to your knees out there)_

 _You've really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)_

 _But don't you see (How can you do this thing to me?)_

 _There's bound to be talk tomorrow (Think of my life long sorrow)_

 _At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died)_

 _I really can't stay (Get over that old doubt)_

 _Oh, but it's cold outside_

 _ **Post-Note: Just some shameless fluff for all you lovely readers on this Friday. I have three impending days of barbeques, beach days and pool parties ahead thanks to the holiday weekend, and though all my fics this weekend will not be based on that, I did think this would be a nice little addition. Hope you all have a great weekend and thanks again for reading!**_


	76. Happy

_**A/N: This is just a short rewrite of the end of 4x13, where Killian and Emma are sitting in the diner talking about Emma becoming an optimist. It doesn't cut to Charming and Snow like in the original episode, but instead Emma says that her relationship she and Killian makes her happy. Inspired by the chorus especially of 'Happy' by Ayeisha Woods.**_

The peace enveloping their little town on the coast of Maine had been disrupted today. That flying bat, or chernabog, or whatever the heck it was had dampened the light hearted mood of the past six weeks with its appearance and continued attacks on Storybrooke. Tensions only grew when Ursula and Cruella showed up asking for sanctuary, and Emma's gut wouldn't stop screaming at her that something bigger was coming, but right now, after all the excitement, as Emma sat in a dimly lit Granny's, today didn't feel so terrible. Actually it felt really nice.

Sitting up next to the counter, Henry poured over the storybook, magnifying glass in hand, in the hopes of helping Regina to track down the author. He wanted to see both of his mother's happy, and since Emma was already accounted for, it only made sense to turn his sights to Regina. Emma wanted Regina to be happy too. She still felt a little guilty for bringing Marion back, not because she'd saved the woman, but because she'd messed with another potential happy ending. Emma wasn't letting the misstep keep her from her own happiness, but she did feel somehow indebted to Regina now. She'd lost a happy ending, and now maybe helping to find the author would grant her another one.

"What do you suppose the boy is up to now?" Killian's presence just beside Emma in the booth was never forgotten. She'd felt the heat emanating off of him, and the warmth of his patient sort of caring beside her, but his words drew her from her own thoughts. Killian was a master at that, which Emma found almost comical. Growing up as a kid in the system, you spent a lot of time not talking, but Killian always knew when she'd spent enough time inside her own head.

"Being Henry." Killian made a slight hum of agreement as Emma continued. "If anyone's gonna get that author out of the book, it's him."

"You've become quite the optimist, Swan." Emma looked at Killian and couldn't hold back the smile. Even a few months ago such a statement would have made her recoil and throw up her walls again, but not tonight, and not with him.

"Have I? Guess I couldn't really help it between him and my parents." Killian smiled back at that.

"Well they all have hope and belief in spades, I must grant them that. I'm just glad to see you're finding it as well." Emma took his hand in hers and interlaced their fingers, reveling in the little bit of surprise that flashed across his face. She liked that he still seemed in awe of what they had together, but she didn't like that he gave himself no credit in her transformation towards hope.

"You give me that too you know. I can't remember the last time I was this happy – not before breaking the curse, or in that missing year, but here we are at the tail end of a kind of terrible day, and I feel good. Really good, because my family is safe and because I have _you_." Killian appeared to be speechless for a moment.

"Well I'm glad to hear it, love. I think it goes without saying that you make me happy too." Emma grinned, leaning into his shoulder slightly and looking at his lips with a little hint of seduction.

"It maybe goes without saying, but I wouldn't be opposed to hearing it." Just as Killian was about to open his mouth to say more, Henry turned around from his place at the counter.

"I might be though." Emma watched as Henry jumped off the stool and headed towards the back for the bathroom. She bit back a smile but laughed when she heard the door close behind her son. She'd never had a moment like this with Henry, but she'd seen her son's smile. He wasn't against Emma and Killian being together by any means, he was just a teenager, and teenagers didn't want to hear their mom's going on about their romantic lives.

"You find this particularly funny, Swan?" She looked back at Killian, taking in his features just for a second before pulling him down to kiss her. The moment was fleeting, as she pulled back when she heard the door opening again, but she smiled at the slightly dazed look that lingered on Killian's face.

"I find it surprisingly normal, and I like that." When Henry returned, Emma and Killian fell into a comfortable silence once more as Killian ran his finger along Emma's wrist slightly for a time. The small caress made Emma feel perfectly safe while also causing her to want more. It had been too long since they'd been truly alone with just themselves, and she missed that too.

"Soon enough, love." Emma sighed softly at the fact that he knew her exact thoughts, and trusted he was right. For now, they had each other even just like this and it was enough. Actually it was more then enough – it was the exact recipe to make her once guarded and lonely life really, truly happy.

….

 _No record deal, no dream fulfilled  
No three minute video, no  
No catchy jingle, no big hit single  
Playing on the radio_

 _Can make me happy, no  
Can make me feel the way you do  
You make me happy, oh  
I wanna make You happy too_

 _Can make me happy, happy  
Can make me happy, happy_

 _No flashy cars, no movie stars  
No man, woman, boy or girl  
No fancy things, no diamond rings  
Nothing in the whole wide world_

 _Can make me happy, no  
Can make me feel the way You do  
You make me happy  
I wanna make You happy too_

 _You make me happy  
You make me feel the way I do  
Make me happy  
I wish the whole world knew You too_

 _Singing, la la la_

 _No, I cannot count the ways  
You have made my life so blessed  
All I know is that You came  
And made beauty of my mess_

 _Said, I cannot count the ways  
You have made my life so blessed  
All I know is that You came  
And made beauty of my mess_

 _And You make me happy, oh  
You make me feel the way I do  
You make me happy, oh  
I wanna make You happy too_

 _You make me happy  
You make me feel the way I do  
You make me happy  
I wish the whole world knew you too_

 _Singing, la la la_

 _Said, You make me happy, oh  
You make me happy  
La, la, la  
Happy, oh_

 _ **Post-Note: Just the tiniest bit of fluff this evening, as it is a holiday and my weekend has been all over the place. I have been re-watching portions of this series (as I often do) and am struck by just how many cute moments there have been that then kind of go nowhere. Lots of calmer, softer instances that then cut away to another storyline. This summer I'll be trying to take a lot of those and give them just a bit more CS fluffiness. I hope you all enjoyed, and that you all have a wonderful day! If you're American and celebrating the day, then I wish you a Happy Fourth. If you are not, happy Monday, and thanks again for reading!**_


	77. Life Is A Highway

_**A/N: Just a cute little fic where Killian is learning to drive with David. I have had a number of readers ask for this after reading earlier installments in the mixtape where I hint at Killian's having learned to drive. One of you then suggested this song ('Life is a Highway'), and I only hope that I did all of your visions for this kind of moment justice. It's a bit fluffier (and more developed) than any 'Killian learns to drive' storyline we would ever see on the show. It's just kind of adorable in a way you will all have to read for yourself. Hope you all enjoy!**_

"You're sure you want to do this, Dad? I can show Killian how to drive, really." Emma crossed her arms over her chest, struggling to understand why her Dad felt so strongly about being the one to teach Killian this part of their word. All she knew was that in the past few weeks, the already growing bond between her Dad and her true love had gotten more intense. Regina had even go so far as to dub it a ' _bromance'_ and Emma had to admit it was edging into something very like that. Where was the David that had been all attempted intimidation on Killian and Emma's first date? The answer was nowhere to be found. Instead her father now embraced his title as Killian's _'mate'_ and the once tense dynamic had completely shifted.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I have to make amends for the time I let Henry behind the wheel, and Killian will be a great student. This is nothing to a whole ship." Emma acknowledged that to be true, but she'd seen friendships die under less stressful circumstances. Killian could hypothetically kill them in that car, and her Dad could get a tad bit controlling, which Emma knew Killian would not like at all. Before she could worry too much more though, Killian came forward and kissed her lightly.

"It'll all be alright, love. Your father and I will be fine, and I'll be driving before you know it." Emma sighed.

"That's kind of what I'm afraid of." She couldn't help but laugh at Killian's little huff of indignation.

"We've taken on monsters and demons and Gods hell bent on ruining our lives –" Emma silenced him with a hand on his chest.

"Not like that... Just be careful." In an instant Killian's features shifted, and he whispered low enough so only she could hear.

"Ah, now I see love." Emma raised a brow.

"See what?" Asking the question was ridiculous, since Killian could always see pretty much everything Emma thought. It was his superpower of sorts.

"That your worry comes from wanting to protect me, not thinking I'm a menace to town safety." Emma smiled, and how could she not when he put it that way.

"You seem pretty sure of yourself." He should be, that was exactly why she was worried, but she also loved this easy playfulness they had. It was one of her favorite things about them, this light and airy banter.

"Hard not to be when you have the love of such a woman behind you." Sweet words from Killian always had a way of making Emma want more, but instead she stepped back and watched them head off to the far edge of town. Her Dad was driving now, claiming they needed baby steps and to build towards being around actual people.

"This is either going to go great, or horribly, _horribly_ wrong," Henry remarked, watching the car pull away as he crossed over from Granny's. He came to stand beside Emma, who in turn put her arm around him.

"You said it kid." Henry had originally wanted to tag along, but that was where Emma drew the line. It was going to be hard enough going about her afternoon as it was. Two of the three most important men in her life were off risking themselves on something that wasn't strictly necessary; she didn't need more than that. Still, part of her kind of wished she could be a fly on the wall of that truck right now. It was bound to be a very interesting afternoon.

…..

"It's impossible for me to take your current stance as a vote of confidence, mate." Killian joked at David's tight shoulders and hands pressed against what the car's manual called the dashboard.

"Look, I'm trying, but you're not giving me much to work with here." Killian would bet that David was wishing he'd accepted Emma's offer to take him to drive now. In no time at all, Killian had dismantled David's method of teaching and pointed out flaw after flaw in the man's assumptions on how to impart driving techniques.

"I rather thought I was doing a fine job." Killian pressed on the pedal to make the car stop with full force, watching David close his eyes and wince as he did so.

"Well for one thing, you're pressing the break way too hard. Seriously, I'm afraid you'll detonate the airbags." Killian laughed at that.

"To do that I'd need to be going far faster. Without an impact, the car needs to be going at least sixty five an hour for them to launch, and I haven't gone over forty at any point." David gaped at the statistic. "What? I read the manual. Did you think I was just going to go into this blind?" Understanding dawned on David then and Killian bit back a chuckle.

"You've been playing me the last thirty minutes, haven't you?" He'd been snuffed out.

"Aye, mate." David shook his head.

"You're terrible, you know that." Now Killian did laugh, in part because of how far he and David had come, but also because this seemed to be the common sentiment when he proved his aptitude for something with ease and efficiency. In this world it seemed, natural ability was something to be playfully mocked. Killian began to drive into town with no problems as David moved his hands to the dial for the radio.

"Since you're clearly a natural, I guess it doesn't hurt to play some music." David flipped about the stations until finally selecting one and calling the song a classic. Killian listened to the words and the strange rhythm around it, finding he liked it more than most of the other music in this land.

"The band's managed to make a metaphor about life being a roadway. That's bloody brilliant." David nodded, silently agreeing.

"You know every time I hear this song I think of what it would be like in a world really without evil and villains. I like the idea of getting a motorcycle and just taking off, seeing where it takes me." Killian knew the word represented the contraption that August drove around and found he too liked the idea. As they parked the car in front of Granny's Killian noticed the motorcycle in question parked just across the street where they'd left Emma that morning.

"There's nothing saying we can't do that per se. Not with the leaving of course, for there's much too much to be done, but if we stayed around here, it shouldn't be a problem. Why should Pinocchio have all the fun?" David and Killian moved to the bike and stared at it with all due consideration. 

"You know I've never actually driven a motorcycle, right?" Killian grinned.

"Even better. We'll be on equal footing. Surely it can't be that hard. We've grappled with worse beasts than that." David seemed to be considering, and Killian knew he had him, even when he kept giving reasons that they shouldn't.

"We don't have a license." Killian gestured to himself and the pick up truck they'd just left behind.

"All it takes is a day of practice, mate. I'm a testament to that."

"Snow will hate it." Killian knew it was likely, but then again, Snow's first instinct often tended towards no. He'd watched Emma and David work around that enough in the past to know it was possible.

"She'll come around."

"I doubt Emma will be too happy about it either." Really? Killian didn't think she'd have that big a problem with it, until he realized that this could be considered dangerous and he realized his friend was right. There was no way his Swan would go for it.

"Too happy about what?" Speak of the love of his life. It was as if just the mention of her name had summoned her here. Though she looked cautious and suspicious, she was still lovely as ever, and now Killian scratched behind his ear with a bit of newfound nervousness at saying what he'd been thinking.

"Well let me start by saying I'm an ace driver, aren't I Dave?"

"He is, actually. It's kind of really annoying if I'm being honest." The distraction tactic didn't work and Emma crossed her arms.

" _Killian_." He glanced from her to the bike and instantly she understood. "Oh hell no! You two are not getting motorcycles. No way!" Potentially problematic as it was, Killian was simultaneously remorseful for having thought of it, and excited at the fire sparked inside of Emma. Her anger made her even more beautiful, and her fierceness was a thing to behold.

"But Emma, love-" She took his hand and pulled him away.

"No buts. Dad, we'll see you later, and you can bet Mom will be hearing about this, so you might want to clear the air with her now." Killian heard David's grumble about how he should have known better than to let Killian get him into this mess. Emma meanwhile was pulling Killian down the street.

"Swan, if it really upsets you so much of course I won't do it. It was just an idea." Emma huffed, coming to a stop just after pulling him into one of the side alleys between the library and one of the other Main Street shops.

"A really bad, really _dangerous_ idea. Promise me, no motorcycles." Killian kissed he hand lightly.

"I promise love." He watched Emma's shoulders sag in relief and soon enough she nodded.

"Why did you want to ride a motorcycle in the first place?" Killian shrugged.

"We were listening to a song about highway's and life being like one." Emma stared at him blankly.

"You're kidding me." Killian shook his head. "That's actually kind of hilarious." A smile played at her lips, but after a moment it took on a new gleam that went from laughter to heat in a minute.

"I know that look, love, and where it turns up I typically find a special kind of enjoyment." Emma ran a hand down his arm.

"I just have an idea about how I could reward you for not giving into temptation and getting on a bike like that." Killian scoffed.

"To hell with the motorcycle, love. You're the temptation." She smiled, kissing him but pulling back too soon. "I suppose you're not going to tell me what my prize might be."

"I was thinking we could get you a truck of your own and that we could make out in it, and see where things go from there." Killian cleared his throat.

"I have no idea what 'make out' means but I trust your instincts to the end, love." Emma pulled him back down then and showed him exactly what she meant. When they finally had to return to the real world of responsibilities, Killian decided to get his license as soon as humanly possible. He wasn't about to wait for this most desirable of honors.

…..

Just a few days later, Emma found herself making good on her promise to Killian about what could happen if he abstained from more thoughts of motorcycles. With this teenage-like escapade came a bubbling sense of happiness. She'd never had this as a kid, seeing as she was far too busy with running from the system and then falling into trouble, but being here with Killian felt like that purer kind of love she'd always wanted. Emma had really let him in and was unafraid of getting hurt or being alone, and that comfort allowed the once hardened, cautious person of her past to slip away. She felt free and light and wonderful.

"You are very likely to drive me mad, love." Killian's words when they pulled back from the kiss made Emma smile. His face in the fading light of day mirrored the same hope that she felt. It made him impossibly more handsome, and kept her hands firmly on his body, unwilling to break away. That didn't mean she was above teasing him though.

"You think we should stop?" He held her tighter against him and growled.

"Not a chance. I simply meant I couldn't have you the way I want to. I can't worship you properly in this damn truck." A flush of arousal surged through Emma at his words, and she was just about to say that she believed in his ability to creatively solve this problem when he pulled her back in for more. All thoughts left her mind as his hands roamed over her body and his kiss demanded more and more from her, but their perusal and exploration was cut short by the shrill ringing of her cell phone.

"I really don't want to answer that," Emma whispered against Killian's lips and he smiled, kissing her lightly once more before pulling back.

"Aye, love, but it could be an emergency." Emma sighed, partially saddened to have to end this even for a moment, but thrilled that Killian understood the calls on her time and attention as he did. He didn't resent her needing to be available. This could be Henry, or her parents, or the town as a whole calling out now under siege from a new villain. The caller ID read _'Dad'_ though and Emma smiled, flashing the screen to Killian.

"Thinks he knows what we've been up to?" Killian smirked.

"Only one way to find out." Emma agreed and accepted the call.

"Hello?"

" _Emma, you and Killian were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago."_ Emma muffled a laugh, feeling like she was having a moment where her parents were frustrated about breaking curfew, instead of just showing up late to the family dinner they were hosting in the loft. It was ridiculous but somehow pleasant.

"We're just running a little late." It wasn't a lie really. They _were_ running late, they just weren't coming from home or the station or any place that really warranted the delay.

" _I gathered that when I got a call from Leroy just now saying he saw you and Killian just now in the parking lot at the beach."_ Killian groaned, mumbling about getting that dwarf back for his constant nosiness and interruptions while Emma assured her Dad they were on their way. After hanging up the phone, she looked at Killian, whose hair was all mussed from where she'd run her fingers through it, and who now had a little bit of edge in his features.

"You know, Henry's at Regina's tonight. Technically we could pick this up again later." Watching her true love grapple with a sense of appeasement but also a yearning for more warmed Emma's heart. She kissed him one last time and then returned to her own seat, putting on her seatbelt as he did the same. She stayed in the middle, despite the room closer to the other side so they were still close. To busy herself she fiddled with the radio only to discover that the song that had started all of this was playing again.

"It's a sign, Swan." She raised a brow at him, daring him to say the wrong thing, but of course he didn't. "It's a sign that I made the right choice in listening to you."

Emma exhaled the breath she'd unknowingly been holding and leaned her head to rest against his shoulder, smiling as she looked through the dashboard window while he hummed along to the catchy, evergreen tune. Whatever meaning he found in this song, Emma only fixated on one thing – the idea that life was a journey and that you didn't have to go it alone. With Killian, she had the best companion for such an adventure, and that was something to be truly grateful for.

…

 _Life's like a road that you travel on  
When there's one day here and the next day gone  
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand  
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind  
There's a world outside ev'ry darkened door  
Where blues won't haunt you anymore  
Where brave are free and lovers soar  
Come ride with me to the distant shore  
We won't hesitate  
To break down the garden gate  
There's not much time left today_

 _Life is a highway  
I wanna ride it all night long  
If you're going my way  
I wanna drive it all night long_

 _Through all these cities and all these towns  
It's in my blood and it's all around  
I love you now like I loved you then  
This is the road and these are the hands  
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights  
The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights_

 _Knock me down get back up again  
You're in my blood  
I'm not a lonely man  
There's no load I can't hold  
Road so rough this I know  
I'll be there when the light comes in  
Just tell 'em we're survivors_

 _Life is a highway  
I wanna ride it all night long  
If you're going my way  
I wanna drive it all night long_

 _Gimme gimme gimme gimme yeah_

 _Life is a highway  
I wanna ride it all night long  
If you're going my way  
I wanna drive it all night long_

 _There was a distance between you and I (between you and I)  
A misunderstanding once  
But now we look it in the eye_

 _Ooooo...Yeah!_

 _There ain't no load that I can't hold  
Road so rough this I know  
I'll be there when the light comes in  
Just tell 'em we're survivors_

 _Life is a highway  
I wanna ride it all night long  
If you're going my way  
I wanna drive it all night long_

 _Gimme gimme gimme gimme yeah_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it, my first fic about Killian learning to drive. It was a fun one to write, and just ever so fluffy, which as you all know if my favorite kind of one-shot. Thank you all for reading and let me know what you thought!**_


	78. Die A Happy Man

_**A/N: This song (Die a Happy Man by Thomas Rhett) was prompted by a reader recently, and I instantly knew it was a good fit – but don't worry, no one dies in this short little fic. They also recommended that this chapter be an AU and I have made one where Emma and Killian are an established couple who live in the country somewhere. For their five-year wedding anniversary, they have a starlight picnic and dance under the beautiful light of the moon. It is fluffy and very different from the usual CS fare, but harks back to my story 'Hope Springs' which I miss most dearly. I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading!**_

Warmth, that was the defining feeling that clung to Killian, sitting here on this old flannel blanket amongst the tall grass in the meadow by their home, despite the fact that they were mid way through September in Montana. It was the same feeling that came every time he found himself with Emma in his arms, and after five years of marriage, the intensity and commitment he felt to her hadn't waivered in the slightest. This little corner of the world was all theirs, but it was Emma herself that was Killian's home. With her he found his meaning and his light, and he thanked God every day for that.

After a shared picnic here in her favorite spot on the ranch, a quiet little meadow that wild flowers bloomed in through the spring and summer, Killian and Emma had gone quiet, melting into the comfort of just being together, looking at the stars in the sky overhead. This year, their anniversary just so happened to coincide with a meteor shower, and the inky black sky was filled with streaks of moving light that looked like falling stars. Emma called it magical, but Killian disagreed, or at least believed that this natural light show held little in ways of comparing with her. Killian did not spend most of their time tonight gazing up at the stars as Emma did. Instead Killian opted to watch his wife take it all in.

She looked so picturesque, sitting here in her midnight black dress with her hair tied back, but curling lightly, tracing out the different constellations with those incandescent green eyes of hers. Her lips turned up in their natural smile, and no trace of stress or worry or strife reached her features. She looked peaceful and content and happy. Emma's beauty both inside and out had not dulled in all the time Killian had known her, and every day he learned new things and found more gifts between them to be thankful for.

He tracked her expressions and her subtle movements and noticed not for the first time that her hand had come to rest against her stomach. Killian smiled, bringing his own down upon hers and running his thumb along her knuckles. Just a few months ago they'd found out that Emma was pregnant, and the news had been some of the best he'd ever heard, aside from Emma telling him she loved him for the first time, and then saying ' _I do'_ and becoming his wife years ago. All of life's best moments came from Emma, but this was by far their greatest adventure yet.

"Next year there will be four of us." Killian smiled at the reminder that they were having twins. After nearly five years of waiting to have kids, wanting to establish themselves and to give themselves time to appreciate married life, they'd gotten pregnant right away. It was almost like the universe was making up for lost time by giving them two new additions instead of just one.

"Aye, love." He dropped a kiss to her temple, taking in the sweet smell of her hair and it's silky feel as he did so.

"But before then I'm going to get really fat and really cranky, and crave crazy foods, and probably drive you insane." Killian shook his head, unwilling to let his love berate what awaited them.

"You'll only be more beautiful to me, Swan. The foods will be a nice change – maybe we'll explore the culinary world beyond grilled cheese and onion rings - and you already drive me insane with wanting you, love, and there's nothing wrong with that." Emma sighed, the movement reverberating through his chest as she did.

"Why are you still so sweet on me? Not that I'm complaining." Killian brought his other hand up to brush back a lock of her golden hair that had come to block her stunning features.

"Because you, Emma, are without a doubt the best thing that's ever happened to me. Nothing will ever compare to you." Emma smirked playfully, and Killian knew in that moment that if any of their children were prone to giving this look, he'd be in for a world of trouble.

"How about the Northern Lights?" They'd seen them on a trip together last summer, crossing it off of their bucket list of things to experience together, and though they were brilliant, Emma shone far brighter.

"Not even close." Emma continued to consider, trying to find something even though she never would.

"The Grand Canyon?" They'd driven there together one New Year's to start the year with a sunrise over that immensely beautiful place but still it didn't hold a candle to his Emma.

"Negative."

"The Eifel Tower at night?" Killian shook his head, as she reminded him of their honeymoon. Emma had never been to Europe and so they'd had a small wedding, with just their closest friends and family and toured the continent for three weeks instead.

"Nothing, love. You are hands down the best thing in the world." Emma twisted in his arms enough to place a gentle kiss on his lips. When she pulled away, her eyes were lit up in a way that shone brighter than the night full of stars.

In that moment, an idea came to Killian, one that would continue Emma's impromptu stroll down memory lane. Kissing her gently once more and imploring her to wait just a moment, he hopped up from the blanket and turned his pick up truck back on from where it was behind them. The lights came on, as did the radio, but Killian sifted through the content of the dashboard until he found the CD he needed, Marvin Gaye's Greatest Hits. He put it into the disc drive, and didn't bother to pick a particular song. Any one would do.

"Just like our first date." Emma said when he returned, and Killian nodded, remembering that night and how nervous he'd been only to find that everything with Emma came naturally. They'd shared a bottle of red wine and a lovely dinner together and in a matter of hours she turned his world on its axis, making herself the central point. All this time later, that hadn't changed. He extended his hand to her and still felt the same flutter of excitement at asking her to dance that he did the first time.

"May I have this dance?" She beamed up at him and nodded, rising to her feet and stepping into his arms once more.

"You may." Holding Emma close and swaying to the words and the harmony coming through the stereo, Killian marveled at just how charmed his life was, thanks to the woman at his side. None of the successes in his life would ever mean more than continuing to make her happy, keeping her safe, or building this life together with her, and as impossible as it was to comprehended, Killian knew Emma felt the same. There was no doubt between them, no walls and no guards against the other. They were lovers and partners and best friends, finding each other and walking together through life no matter what may come their way.

"It was pouring rain that night, do you remember?" Emma asked. Every single instant of that first date was still seared in his memory even now. She'd worn a red dress that matched the rose he'd given her at the start of the evening, and the flush that crossed her cheeks when he presented it to her. When the rain had hit after their meal, she didn't duck and run as so many others would, but laughed, and twirled as the drops fell from the heavens, arms outstretched, and face turned towards the sky. She was free and vibrant and perfect, and he'd known in that moment that he wanted a lifetime and forever after with her.

"Of course I do, love. I had no expectations of getting caught up in a storm, but still it happened." Emma smiled, her hands running through the hair at the back of his head. She bit her lip and Killian knew that meant she'd thought of something. Luckily she told him without his having to inquire.

"I never told you this but you looked _really_ good out there, soaking wet and smiling at me like the world actually swirling in chaos around us didn't matter. It took a lot of effort to keep from peeling all those clothes off of you." His wife was a bloody temptation when she said things like that, smiling as she was.

"It didn't matter. I'd just been on the best date with the best woman. At that point I could have been struck by lightening and I'd have died a happy man." Emma shook her head laughing.

"We are going to have at least fifty, hopefully sixty more years before you get to do that."

"As you wish, love." The promise devolved into a passionate kiss, one where all these words of love and trust and hope was made into something physical. Still, it ended too soon for Killian's liking, but at least he got to hold his Swan in his arms. The night went on in much the same way, one song turned to two, two to three, until suddenly they were back at the beginning. Emma ran a hand against his shirt, stopping their dance and looking at him earnestly.

"Home, love?" She smiled, nodding her head in affirmation.

"Home sounds perfect." And so they returned to their house once more, losing themselves in the love and desire and the resolute truth that this was their happily ever after, and it would be for years and years to come.

…

 _Baby, last night was hands down  
One of the best nights  
That I've had no doubt  
Between the bottle of wine  
And the look in your eyes and the Marvin Gaye  
Then we danced in the dark under September stars in the pourin' rain_

 _And I know that I can't ever tell you enough  
That all I need in this life is your crazy love_

 _If I never get to see the Northern lights  
Or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night  
Oh, if all I got is your hand in my hand  
Baby, I could die a happy man_

 _Happy man, baby  
Mmm_

 _Baby, that red dress brings me to my knees  
Oh, but that black dress makes it hard to breathe  
You're a saint, you're a Goddess,  
The cutest, the hottest,  
A masterpiece  
It's too good to be true,  
Nothing better than you  
In my wildest dreams_

 _And I know that I can't ever tell you enough  
That all I need in this life is your crazy love_

 _If I never get to see the Northern lights  
Or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night  
Oh, if all I got is your hand in my hand  
Baby, I could die a happy man, yeah_

 _I don't need no vacation,  
No fancy destination  
Baby, you're my great escape  
We could stay at home,  
Listen to the radio  
Or dance around the fireplace_

 _And if I never get to build my mansion in Georgia  
Or drive a sports car up the coast of California  
Oh, if all I got is your hand in my hand  
Baby, I could die a happy man_

 _Baby, I could die a happy man  
Oh, I could die a happy man  
You know I could girl  
I could die, I could die a happy man_

 _ **Post-Note: Just another small little addition to the mixtape to bring in another Friday. I am personally so glad to see the weekend again, and I am sure many of you are too. It seems kind of fitting that we ended this week with a country song, as country seems to have that easy, summer living feel to it most of the time. I hope you all enjoyed, even if country might not be your cup of tea music wise, and thanks so much again for reading!**_


	79. Just In Love

_**A/N: Short one-shot where Killian gets injured and has to go to the hospital (angst in the beginning because of this). He's okay, but a little looped out on medication. Despite his sorrier state though, he does his best to take care of Emma still, and brings up their past stint in the hospital together (episode 2x11), when he first came to Storybrooke and began falling in love with her. Inspired by the song 'Not on Drugs' by Tove Lo.**_

" _Killian, I swear to God, if you do not open your eyes and promise me that you are going to live – I will – I will –,"_ Killian could hear Emma's voice but struggled to do as she bid. He wanted to make his wife happy, to spare her the hurt he heard in her voice, but he felt like he was floating. It was a most alarming feeling, for he knew he'd been injured but he felt lighter than ever. After some effort, he opened his eyes. Emma's own eyes were downcast, and he could see her shoulders shaking as she cried– he could also, strangely enough, see that she'd sprouted wings.

Blinking a few times, Killian's vision began to return to normal, and whatever clinging imaginings had come from his dreams disappeared, leaving just his Swan as he remembered her. That wasn't to say she was any less vibrant or miraculous. With Emma around, colors were brighter and sharper, the world held far more beauty than pain, and his heart thumped harshly in his chest as it always did. As he worked to form the words that would give her peace of mind with his lips, he thought of all the times she'd given him such comfort with a look or a smile or the touch of her hand. She held the most amazing magic over him, and it had nothing to do with being the savior at all.

"Probably not a good idea to threaten an injured man, even if you are an angel." Emma's head sprang up, and he could see the tears in her jade colored eyes spilling down her cheeks but relief washed over her features. She had her hand in his and held on tighter now, wrapping both of hers around his as if letting go would somehow break the spell that woke him. He ran his thumb along her skin as a little sign that he was in fact here.

"You're alive – you didn't leave." Killian tried to laugh, but found it still hurt a bit to do so.

"How many times must I tell you, Swan, I'm a survivor, and I am not going anywhere." She laughed, though it sounded garbled thanks to the choked sob that came along with it. The sound caused him more pain than whatever maladies plagued him from his fighting, tearing at his heart cruelly. Needing a means to make her feel better, Killian sought a reminder of their past. "Do you remember our first rendezvous in this hospital?" His lovely Emma rolled her eyes at him and nodded.

"Yes I remember. You shot Belle, were working with Cora, and could see nothing but revenge with those pretty blue eyes of yours." Killian attempted a smile. He could tease her about finding him attractive even then, but he stuck the course.

"Not quite true, love. I could also see you. Even then you called to me, which you can imagine was bloody problematic." Emma winced at the term, probably because he himself was a little banged up right now. "Apologies, love."

"It's fine. So you saw me even through the vengeance fueled haze?" Killian nodded, for that was an understatement. That night his emotions were raw from the injury he'd inflicted on Belle, but guilt hadn't been an option then, riddled as he was with the darkness in his soul. He'd undertaken all his unspeakable acts with hate and ire to avenge his first love, but at the same time he was starting to imagine that brightness could exist in his world again. At that moment he could never have dreamed that life with Emma was possible, and that it would be the single keenest pleasure he'd ever known, yet he knew Emma was different, even all that time ago.

"Aye. You'd broken through some of it on the beanstalk, but there was something about you demanding answers and holding yourself with all that confidence that really got me going." Emma's eyes grew wider, portraying a bit of shock. She didn't realize just how enticing she was at all times of any given day. He'd been hit by a car, but still he'd traced the shape of her face with his eyes, warming at her hair that looked like sunshine and eyes that looked like the greenest leaves he'd ever seen. Since then he'd studied her beauty hundreds of times, but still it surprised her that he saw her as he did. She fancied herself ordinary even now, when she was the single most stunning woman in all the realms.

"You were thinking about _that_ with your four broken ribs, and the fury of the Dark One upon you? Actually – now that I think about it, you were pretty blatantly thinking about it." He groaned, and though she startled, thinking it was from pain, it wasn't. It was more the remembrance of being such an ass to her to try to hide his own shame.

"Well I wasn't dead yet, was I?" She smiled shaking her head.

"No you weren't, thank God." Killian chuckled at how earnest she sounded despite the pain. She might have taken a far longer time to warm up than he did, but she loved him just as fiercely and as truly as he loved her now.

"You weren't thanking God then. I was a villain love, but I found my way eventually into the light. I had an angel to show me the way." Emma let out a soft sigh. It held happiness and peace, two things he so dearly wanted to give her.

"We both showed each other the way, so let's just do ourselves a favor and stay where it's good. No more risking yourself to save us all and nearly getting killed." Killian nodded, knowing that it was the last thing he ever wanted. He had a life with Emma, a happy one, and he had no intention of seeing it go for another fifty years or so.

"I promise, Swan." She shook her head, as if not believing him, and given his track record, he supposed that was fair.

"Killian I mean it because there's something I haven't told you." She looked worried and he tried to straighten up some and reach out to her. Unfortunately, he was hooked up to all sorts of contraptions that were designed to keep him relatively immobile. "Stop moving! You'll hurt yourself more!" 

"Well what is it, love?" She bit her lip before confessing.

"I'm pregnant." Gods in heaven, he could barely believe it, that such a miracle as this was even possible. A child, a sibling for Henry, another chance for Emma to experience what it meant to be a mother, and a moment for him where he could leave a legacy in this world that truly meant something. His eyes went misty at the thought.

"Come here, love." Emma looked at him curiously but remained in her chair. He should have expected her to be stubborn even in a moment as wonderful as this, but he wouldn't be backing down from this request. No way in hell. "Emma, I won't say it again."

"I can't just crawl into bed with you! We're in a hospital, because you are _hurt_." He squeezed her hand, as he shifted over to the side of the bed, making room for her beside him.

"Emma, please, I need to hold you. It can't be everything I want right now, but I need something. I need you, love." She nodded, tears returning to her eyes once more, but she held up her hand as she came to climb in with him.

"If I hurt you, you have to say something." He absolutely would not, but he nodded, willing to do anything to get her next to him. She eased into the bed, close enough to touch and feel and Killian felt himself breathing easier already. His hand moved through her golden hair and pushed it back so he could see her. Emma covered his hand with hers before bringing it to rest on her stomach, and his whole world tilted. They were going to have a baby, and he'd never been more ready or eager for an adventure in all his life. If he needed the inducement to mend quickly and get back on his feet, he surely had it now.

"You have truly made me the happiest of men on this day, Emma, and I swear that I am not going anywhere. My place is with you and our family, fighting for the happiness you deserve." Her other hand came to cup his cheek as her thumb ran across it lightly.

"The happiness _we_ deserve." She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, and though he wanted much more, he yielded, knowing that for now this would be enough.

They stayed like that for a while, sharing the space, until eventually Emma fell asleep. She was no doubt exhausted from the whole ordeal, and Killian knew he should be too, but sleep would not come for a while yet. Before he could close his eyes and rest, he had to take stock of every good thing in his life, to thank the stars above for all his blessings, and to acknowledge that it was all due in some part to his true love. Only through Emma was a life like this possible, and he would love her all the days of his life and every day beyond, from here until forever.

…

 _Shiny, happy, see my world in new colors  
Higher fire, fly my rocket through the universe_

 _I'm up with the kites and I dream so blue  
I live in the sky, you come live here too  
I'm queen of the clouds, make my wish come true.  
I sing to the night, let me sing to you_

 _Baby, listen please  
I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,  
I'm just in love (Oh)  
Baby, don't you see?  
I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,  
I'm just in love  
You're high enough for me._

 _Lighter, brighter, pick the biggest stars I find  
And I'm trip, trip, tripping in my empire state of mind_

 _Ooh I'm up with the kites and I dream so blue  
I live in the sky, you can live here too.  
I'm queen of the clouds, make my wish come true.  
I sing to the night, let me sing to you._

 _Baby, listen please  
I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,  
I'm just in love (Oh)  
Baby, don't you see?  
I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,  
I'm just in love  
You're high enough for me._

 _You're high enough for me._

 _Baby, listen please  
I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,  
I'm just in love (Oh)  
Baby, don't you see?  
I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,  
I'm just in love  
You're high enough for me  
You're high enough for me  
High  
You're high enough for me_

 _ **Post-Note: So this fic originally started as a parallel about being in hospitals and ended with married CS with a baby on the way. Seems pretty typical as far as my fics go. If anything though, this chapter just goes to show how a song can speak to you in the strangest of ways. At first glance (or first listen), it doesn't seem like an ideal candidate for the mixtape, but still it sparked an idea, and after almost eighty chapters there is something to be said for that. I hope you all liked this little drabble, and I do just want to remind you all that I'm always taking requests for this series! I have had some great submissions recently, but truly believe that you can never have too much CS fluff. Thanks again for reading and have a lovely week!**_


	80. Make Me Love You

_**A/N: Fic about Emma getting mad at Killian for getting past her walls. I am attempting to do this while also rewriting the scene from 3x19 where Emma lashes out at Killian for failing to protect Henry at the docks, because I hated that whole plotline. As per usual, the rewrite aims to get us to Emma admitting her feelings way earlier than the show did. Also ignoring the Charming/Snow confrontation about the message that told Killian to get Emma, because really who needed all that angst? Prompted by a follower request for the song "Make Me Like You" by Gwen Stefani.**_

Happiness, in theory, was a pretty simple concept. It was something you could earn or find, or make for yourself. With it, you had power and goodness, without it life was somehow less than what was wanted. People searched the world over for other people and places and things that could give them a taste of this promised fulfillment, but not Emma. Instead she'd run from it, learning that it was better to go without, than to form false hope.

For that reason, happiness wasn't something Emma knew. She had so few good moments in her life up to this point, so few glimpses of what joy could look like before Henry came for her and she found a family that she still balked in the face of it. Often times Emma still felt out of place, and though the year away had eased some of her anxieties with Henry, she knew she saw the world so differently than her son and her parents. They were a group predisposed to finding silver linings, and Emma… well Emma just wanted to protect them all so that they could go on living that way in a world that wasn't designed for such belief to last. All good things ended in her experience, and the things that promised to be the best, were better left untouched so as to spare herself the heartbreak later.

Killian was one of those things. Just being near him sent her spiraling into a swirl of yearning and desire and tension, and since their kiss in Neverland, and then subsequently remembering their history when coming back from New York, she felt this pull to him. He made her world warmer and brighter with his constant reassurances and silent shows of support despite how terrible things were going. She'd lost her life in New York, and Neal but still she felt strong, as if he was lending his own will to keep fighting to her.

Despite Killian's kindness though, instinct still told her to tamper her affection for him down, even if she knew his pursuit to be genuine. He'd proved time and time again that he was here for her, and for her best interests, but that only scared her more. If she were honest, she'd admit that it was more than just a mere attachment. She cared for him - hell she was falling for him – but doing so made her vulnerable. Loving someone gave him the power to break her heart into a million pieces, which she couldn't afford if she was going to be the savior and protect her family. Denying herself might make her lonely, but at least the walls kept out the worst of the hurt.

Part of Emma was trying her best to change into a person to whom hope came naturally, willing herself to let go of the past so that she could have the happy future she denied she wanted. It would be better for Henry and her parents and herself if she could do that, but progress was slow, and cynicism was never very far away when they battled the forces of evil or enjoyed times of peace. Her armor was a weapon that kept the people she loved safe, so bringing down the walls was too much of a risk to take.

The only person who seemed to understand this was Killian and it was that understanding coupled with his patience that scared her so much. He recognized in her something that was hurting, and he waited out her lashes of frightened anger and her prickliness every time, all in the name of helping her. Knowing that though didn't stop Emma from treating him terribly in this moment.

"Are you gonna tell me what Zelena was talking about? She said you failed her." Emma could hear the emotion seeping through her voice though she tried to channel it to anger. It warbled through the warehouse in a way she barely recognized.

"Don't listen to her."

"Killian what's going on? Were you working for her?" Even as she said the words Emma knew they weren't true. It was unfair to ask him, but she did it all the same.

"The witch tried to back me into a corner. I did everything I could to resist her plans." Truth shone in his eyes and Emma's internal lie detector screamed at her that he was being honest, but she pushed on.

"So whose idea was it to kidnap Henry and stick him on a boat?" Killian looked away, his eyes casting with shame towards the floor.

"It was mine. I was trying to save him." Her heart clenched at the thought that he cared enough about her kid to do something like that.

"From what? What is she doing?" Ice-cold fear pricked at her heart, as Emma began to realize that the witch may somehow have hurt Killian to get to her.

"She cursed me. My lips, actually." Emma's mind raced, but still she feigned anger over being honest with her concern.

"Your lips. Why?"

"She wants to steal your magic. She thought I was the best way of doing that. She knows what we all know – that you can defeat her." Emma balled her hands into tight fists, trying to grasp onto her last thread of frustration. It was incredibly difficult given the fact that Killian still had such faith in her, and that Zelena _did_ guess correctly. Killian was a point of weakness for Emma.

"It should have been my decision to protect Henry." Killian nodded, reaching out for her. Emma stayed perfectly still, not returning the touch, but not running either.

"Aye, love, I realize that now, but I thought the risk far greater if I told you of her plans. She said as much to me when she cornered me the first time. I only wanted to help, to save your boy and to keep you safe as well." Emma closed her eyes, trying to calm herself, though she felt her control over her emotions snapping. She was softening against him and when her eyes opened again her resistance was all but gone.

"Why?" He looked at her curiously, as if trying to search her face for her meaning.

"Why what, Swan?"

"Why do you care about what happens to us?" Killian gave a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Maybe it's in my best interests to side with the heroes." Emma shook her head.

"That's the first lie you've told me today. I want the truth." Her heart pounded in her chest, because she knew what the truth was, and after weeks of avoiding it, of trying to pretend that this building connection between them wasn't real or didn't matter, she was finally gearing up to face it.

"I care because you're important to me! _You_ , Emma. Not surviving, or revenge, or my bloody ship, just you. I spent a year away from you and the light you bring to everything you do and I was lost. My old life was empty. Everything about who I used to be was just a bad memory I didn't want to relive. But I was certain that you were gone forever, and that Regina had made good on her promise to give you and Henry a life that was happy. Then I got the note, telling me there was hope that I'd see you again, and I had no doubts. Nothing else mattered but helping you." Emma's throat was tight with emotion, and though she wouldn't cry, she could feel tears forming all the same.

"I don't understand. How can you think of me that way with everything that's happened? The way I've treated you, the way I push you away constantly! Why are you still here?!" Her voice cracked with the desperation she felt to know that answer. Why was Killian different? Why did he want to stay with her despite the clearly fractured pieces she was trying to pass off a whole person?

People always left Emma. It was a defining attribute of being an orphan. Her parents had left, even if they didn't want to. Foster parents, and siblings, and kids in her group homes had all gone too. She'd had very few friends, no one she trusted, and love had always been out of her reach. All she had was Henry, and a few relationships built on lies, but Killian made her want more, even if it terrified her to admit that. Killian's hand came up to cup her cheek and brought her eyes to his once more.

"Because you're worth it, Emma. I don't expect anything from you, for you to feel as I do, or want me as anything more than an ally. If all I ever have is protecting you, and fighting with you, it will be enough." Emma counted her breaths. One – two – three. Her heart pounded, her body hummed with some crackling force that was either magic or the rawest of emotions, but her usual walls didn't want to fall into place. Her feet wouldn't move her away from him to run as she so often did. Instead she remained where she was.

"She cursed you because you love me." Killian winced, as if in actual pain from her statement and it cut her to the core. He looked embarrassed to be found out, probably because he believed Emma could never feel the same. She'd made him think he was nothing to her, and apparently, despite his once claiming that she was so easy to read, she'd done a damn good job of deceiving him.

"Yes." Flashes of memories and images, some real and some imagined, as if from a dream or from the future, certainly beyond Emma's understanding, crossed her mind and as she looked at Killian, it was like seeing him for the first time. In an instant she knew what she had to do and she moved to kiss him only for him to pull back, with worry and anxiety clinging to his usually calm and steady voice. "Emma, love, what are you doing?"

"Trust me." Two words were enough to keep him in place as Emma kissed him. For a moment there was nothing but her lips on his, but then a burst of energy shot out around them. Pulling back Emma could see the lingering glint she knew meant true love. They'd all seen it before just now after all with Regina and Henry.

"Your magic?" Emma brought her hands up and formed a subtle light from it, a puff of white magic she'd never made before appearing and then vanishing when she willed it. "So that means…" Killian's voice trailed off, thick with emotion and wonder.

"That I love you too." And she did, heaven help her she really did. Somehow he'd made her love him in spite of all her attempts to fend these feelings off.

That didn't mean Emma wasn't scared shitless. Killian had come out of nowhere, tumbling into a life that might have been broken, but was patched up pretty tight before he found her. While she may not have been particularly happy, she was fine and functioning, surviving and trying her best to keep doing so in order to not let anyone down. Even if the love between them held magic, even if Killian was the one other person she was meant to be with in this world, she didn't think it would magically heal her or change her or -

 _Have a little faith, Emma. What's everyone always saying about hope? It's a powerful thing, and so is love._ The thought resounded loudly in her mind, an internal plea from the part of her that did dream of better under all those layers of cynicism and disbelief. The kiss and the proof that this was love had emboldened it, strengthened the will she had to fight and to try to make something good out of the chaos that surrounded her world.

Killian to this point, still stood rooted in his place, looking for a sign from Emma, and when she saw him, when she really took a good look, she recognized that with him she was safe, and protected and loved. She could do this – they could do this together. Pulling him down by the collar of his jacket once more, she lost herself in trying to say everything she felt, all of the hope that mixed with dread and worry. Maybe if she gave him everything, he could help her make sense of it all.

"Emma, are you okay? We say a flash of light and –," Emma pulled away from Killian and whispered a curse out loud. Of course her parents had decided to crash this moment, cutting short the chance that Emma and Killian might have alone to try and figure this out. After a beat turned to see both Mary Margaret and David staring at her and Killian slack jawed. Emma looked back at Killian and whispered something so only he'd hear.

"Still sure I'm worth it?" Killian nodded, smiling at her joke.

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life." Emma smiled too, taking his hand in hers tightly.

"Good. Because chances are my Dad's about to try and kick your ass." Killian mumbled about her father's actually coming around to like him, and when David didn't cause Killian any bodily harm, Emma began to believe that he was right about that.

The revelation of who Emma and Killian really were to each other of course brought surprise, shock, some _'I told you sos'_ and a lot of _'are you sures?'_ from varying townspeople. It was a strange union in most of their eyes – a pirate and a princess, a hero and a one-time villain now trying to be good once more. Through all of the commentary though, only one person's opinion really mattered and that was Henry. Her son was still grieving his father's loss, but even in the face of his own pain, Henry was happy for his Mom, and somewhat entertained at her having matched with Captain Hook. Henry had only two requests – that Killian teach him more about sailing, and that they all watch the animated version of _Peter Pan_ together so Henry could see Killian's reaction. Both items, Killian readily conceded to.

Finding true love in the middle of a firestorm brought on by a vengeful Wicked Witch may not have been ideal, but it was beneficial. It gave Emma, Killian and the rest of the heroes another edge over darkness. And when at last Zelena was defeated, her plan of rewriting the past thwarted and stopped, Emma and Killian finally had a real moment to see what all of this meant for their future. Luckily for them, they were destined for all good things and the happily ever after Emma had always craved but never truly thought she could have.

….

 _I was fine before I met you  
I was broken but fine  
I was lost and uncertain  
But my heart was still mine  
I was free before I met you  
I was broken but free  
All alone in the clear view, but now you are all I see_

 _Hey, wait a minute  
No, you can't do this to me  
Hey, wait a minute  
No, that's not fair  
Hey, wait a minute  
You're on me like jewelry  
I really like you, but I'm so scared_

 _Why'd you have to go and make me like you?  
Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to  
Why'd you have to go and make me like you?  
I'm so mad at you cause now you got me missing you  
Cause now you got me missing you_

 _Something I could get used to  
I could get used to this  
It's getting harder to leave it  
Your lips on my lips  
Oh, I can't believe it  
How good it could be  
Didn't wanna believe it, but now you are all I see_

 _Hey, wait a minute  
No, you can't do this to me  
Hey, wait a minute  
No, that's not fair  
Hey, wait a minute  
You're on me like jewelry  
I really like you, but I'm so scared_

 _Why'd you have to go and make me like you?  
Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to  
Why'd you have to go and make me like you?  
I'm so mad at you cause now you got me missing you_

 _Oh God, thank God that I found you  
Oh God, cause now you got me missing you  
Oh God, thank God that I found you  
I'm so mad at you cause now you got me missing you  
Thank God  
Thank God that I found you, oh  
Now you got me missing you  
Now you got me missing you_

 _Why'd you have to go and make me like you?  
Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to  
Why'd you have to go and make me like you?  
I'm so mad at you cause now you got me missing you  
Cause now you got me missing you_

 _Oh God, thank God that I found you  
Oh God, cause now you got me missing you  
Oh God, thank God that I found you  
I'm so mad at you cause now you got me missing you_

 _ **Post-Note: I think rewriting season three scenes are some of my favorite, because watching it every week, I was so frustrated with how long the game was for Emma and Killian. They kissed in Neverland and then it was one set back upon another and so on and so forth. So this is cathartic in a way, because I can pretend this is what happened, and essentially erase another two seasons of waiting and wanting them to be confirmed true love. However, the season 3 finale was epic, so even in this rewrite, that Captain Swan adventure must have happened. Hope you guys enjoyed, and as always, thanks for reading!**_


	81. Champagne Kisses

_**A/N: This chapter is an AU where Emma and Killian are in the wedding party for David and Mary Margaret's marriage (our world of course). Through the course of this wedding's festivities (showers, rehearsals and so on), Emma and Killian have been falling in love, but it's not until the wedding itself that either of them confesses, and in the aftermath they share some, you guessed it, champagne kisses. Inspired by the song 'Champagne Kisses' by Jessie Ware (which should be so much more popular than it is, by the way!).**_

"So to the bride and groom, I just want to say, congratulations. You are at the start of a wonderful journey, and we all know that down this road lies all the happiness you both deserve." A round of applause broke out through the crowd of guests gathered in the expensive hall rented tonight for Mary Margaret and David's wedding, and though Emma brought her hands together to clap, she couldn't deny the butterflies riddling her whole system right now.

Emma currently stood at the bar, trying to grab another glass of champagne in the hopes that it would cool her nerves a bit, but only a few speakers remained before her turn to give a toast as maid of honor would arrive, and the thought of speaking up in front of everyone made Emma twitchy. In any other circumstance that called for public speaking, she'd run for the door, but Mary Margaret deserved a perfect wedding. Her friend had been there at every step of Emma's life as a pillar of support, and now it was Emma's turn to do the same. Best friends didn't bail in big moments like this. Still Emma's foot tapped on the ground impatiently and she felt her hands shake with her excess nervous energy.

"Are you alright, love?" That deep voice with the lilt of a slightly fading accent made Emma close her eyes. It wafted towards her simultaneously dripping with sex appeal, while also being genuinely kind. The combination made Emma begin to feel better, but she couldn't understand how even in the face of something that terrified her so much, Killian could have this kind of effect on her.

Emma first met the charming best man six months back, when Mary Margaret and David held their first wedding party celebration (of which there had been many since, thanks to Mary Margaret's grand love of weddings) and right from the start Emma felt a spark of attraction. With his dark hair and piercing eyes, Killian called to Emma in a way no other man ever had, and that call had never lessoned, that pull towards him never easing up.

She remembered the moment when they'd first locked eyes so vividly even all these months later, as if no time had passed at all. Emma stood frozen in the bar where the four of them had met, truly caught in his stare, and for a moment completely lost her senses. All she could do was gape, trying to process the man before her, and she'd completely lost track of the conversation around her. Her head and her heart rang out at once that he was different, and he'd only proved that to be the case over the past few months.

As the Maid of Honor and the Best Man, Emma and Killian were thrown together dozens of times in the last half-year. They worked together on planning some parts of the festivities, and fell into place beside one another during others like today, and while Emma feared a lackluster partner, she'd been pleasantly surprised with Killian. He was kind and attentive, funny but not overly cocky about his charm, and he agreed with her about marriage as a whole. He was happy for the newly engaged couple while remaining unimpressed with such over the top affairs. Killian was also quite possibly – no _definitely_ – the hottest guy Emma had ever laid eyes on.

Returning to this moment in time once more from the haze of her champagne-induced trip down memory lane, Emma turned to look Killian in the eye, and she felt her breath catch. She'd had been sneaking looks at him all day, and through the night. He seemed to call to her no matter what, but here, in that tux, he was drool-worthy, and now her butterflies weren't from fear of stuttering like an idiot in front of the crowd, but from the way he saw her. A glance from Killian meant more than anyone else, because he pushed passed the surface, as if reading her like a book. He always knew where she was and what she was thinking, even when she thought she kept a tight lid on her emotions.

"Yeah, just you know…words need to come out of my mouth in a minute about love and light and all those great things. And they have to mean something, because this is my best friend's wedding. She's been dreaming of this day since we were kids, and I don't want to let her down."

Emma looked down, a bit embarrassed both at her fear and her inability to speak normally now to Killian. If she were to hazard a guess, she suspected a blush crept across her cheeks too. Killian reached out, his fingers tipping her face up towards him as he stepped forward. Like a moth to a flame, Emma met his gaze and moved half a step forward herself.

"There is nothing that you can't do, Swan. All you need to do is say how you feel. You are brilliant and beautiful and no one is going to find you lacking, I promise." Emma searched his features, smiling at him despite the flurry of emotion inside. Killian was also honest, not given to flattery or compliment without it being earned. She knew that he truly believed in her, and it somehow made her braver.

"So you think I'm beautiful, huh?" Now it was his turn to turn towards a bit of bashfulness. She watched him scratch behind his ear and look away before braving up and looking her in her eyes once more.

"That would be an understatement." The air between them was thick, charged with an emotion they'd flirted with over the past few months during all the wedding prep, but had never crossed into. Why did he have to say this when Emma couldn't immediately act on her interest in him? Before she could stew on that though, Killian took her hand in his and raised it up to kiss gently. "We'll talk more later, love. Once you've blown them all away with that dazzling wit of yours."

"Okay," Emma whispered in reply. They returned to their seats, but not unnoticed. Ruby another bridesmaids and Emma's other best friend, who was sitting beside Emma for this reception, glanced at their still connected hands. Her friend's eyebrows wriggled in a suggestive way, and with that bit of humor, any lingering tension faded away. This was just a small window of time when all eyes would be on her, and when it broke, she could return once more to the eyes she wanted watching her. From across the table Killian met her gaze and smiled again, solidifying Emma's drive to do this.

"Now we'll hear from the maid of honor. Emma?" Emma stood up once more and took a breath, steadying herself before speaking from the heart.

"It may surprise some of you to know that this is not the first of Mary Margaret's weddings I've attended. I'd wager there have been about a hundred through the course of our friendship. To be fair they were all the imaginings of little girls with runaway imaginations, but still, for an eight year old, Mary Margaret owned a lot of white dresses." Everyone in the hall laughed and Emma looked to see that Mary Margaret was enjoying the start of the toast too. Emma continued on.

"In all the times we played the wedding game though, I always asked Mary Margaret why she didn't choose a specific boy to be her groom. I knew for a fact that Scott Riley from our second grade class would have happily accepted." More laughing sounded.

"But Mary Margaret was always adamant that marriage, even in her dreams, would wait for the right man to come. That man, as we can all clearly see is David. The two of you apart are remarkable people, but the two of you together, are truly amazing. I see it in the way you care for each other, and light up when the other is around, in the way you fight for this love between you, and always find your way back to your happiness hand in hand." Emma glanced for just a second to Killian once more, steadying her resolution to speak this last part.

"Now I know what you meant all those years, Mary Margaret, when you said that love would wait and that when you love someone, you just know. It becomes the best part of your life, the light when you need it, and the hope when everything else seems to be going wrong. I know that the love between you two is true, and that it will endure the best of times and the worst. So keep saying yes and daring to risk your heart - if you do, I know you'll find that happily ever after you both so rightly deserve. I love you guys."

Emma raised her glass as did everyone else, but as she sipped her drink and sat down, she noticed Killian's eyes fixed on hers with more intensity than she'd ever seen in their cerulean colored depths. The thing to break the eye contact was Ruby's hand coming to hold Emma's wrist and squeezing under the table.

"I think it would be best to go from Maid of Honor to Best Man, right?" The crowd murmured its agreement and suddenly Emma was all anticipation to hear Killian's speech. He gave a quick look to Ruby that Emma couldn't read, before standing with his own glass in hand.

"Unfortunately, none of my anecdotes about my friendship with Dave have as much prophetic cuteness as that, but I'll try to rally." The hall filled with easy laughter again, but Emma couldn't seem to summon it, waiting as she was for the heartfelt statements she knew would come. "I will say though, that there's a reason that Dave is my best mate, and it's that he is really fundamentally good, almost infuriatingly so, if I'm honest. He's the type to go save kittens from trees and give the shirt off his back to a stranger in need, always ready with a smile and a joke and help whenever needed. That inclination only strengthened when he met Mary Margaret, and now I see my friend happier than ever before."

"Through the years, I've seen the two of you together and it always struck me as miraculous how you never give up on what you want, and how you always knew that your love was worth fighting for. As an outsider looking in, it seemed almost too good to be true, but when you truly love someone, as both of you do, something inside you clicks. Suddenly you think and you act and you speak for that other person, because seeing them happy and being together is all you could ever want." Killian looked straight at Emma with that last part for a beat before returning his attention to David and Mary Margaret once more.

"The world is a brighter place for your love having been there, you work to be the best version of yourself you can be, and hope that its enough. Every minute together is a gift, and it's the greatest feeling you've ever known, to share the best moments you've ever been privileged enough to live with the person who matters most. You both now have what we all wish for – a lasting connection that will span the rest of your lives, a partner on whom to lean when times are tough. I know the two of you have found exactly where you need to be. To many more years of such happiness."

Killian raised his glass and everyone followed suit, but Emma felt like the dam had opened and she was slowly drowning in a bevy of emotions. As the speeches went on, Emma felt herself growing warmer and warmer, restless like she needed to get out of there. Finally she stood, excusing herself again and heading out into the hallway. Mere seconds later Killian's hand came to rest on her arm. He'd followed her, with a look of concern on his face.

"Emma, I didn't mean to overwhelm you. I thought that -," Not even listening to the rest of his statement, Emma pulled him down for a kiss. As far as first kisses went, this was one for the storybooks, so composed of love and passion and desire, it stole Emma's breath away while also breathing the most distinct sense of life into her once more. She could taste the bit of champagne on his tongue, but he was the one with the dizzying effect on her senses. Emma felt like a live wire, crackling with pure, unadulterated hope.

"What you were saying in your speech…" Emma tried to find the words to let him know how much he touched her, and how she was in this with him, so much deeper than she should be. They'd never even been on a date, and yet she looked at him, standing here in his arms, wrapped up in the warmth and safety of his embrace and saw forever. She craved it more than she could say, and thank heavens he saw it, and said it for her first.

"It might be crazy Emma, but I feel for you a love so strong I can hardly contain it. I've been trying to get up the nerve to ask you out for months, but something always seemed to get in the way, what with the wedding and everything. And…"

" _And_?" Emma asked, her eyes flicking down to his lips, wanting to kiss him all over again since he'd just told her he loved her. Killian loved her!

"I was afraid that perhaps my love was causing me to see something that wasn't there. I didn't know how you felt. Sometimes I see you so clearly, and other times, it's hard to make you out." Emma smiled, finally feeling like she could say what needed to be said.

"I was scared too. Actually, if you knew anything about my past, you'd know that this," Emma motioned between them, "is just about the scariest thing for me to face. But I love you too, and that love pushes away all that uncertainty. As long as you're with me in this, I know it'll be alright."

"Nothing would make me happier than to stand by your side, love. Nothing." It could have been seconds, or minutes or days that passed with Emma and Killian wrapped up in each other away from the fray of the party, tasting the newness of their admitted to love and reveling in every moment. But eventually, they did need to break apart and return to the madness once more. Killian was never far from her side all through the rest of the evening, and Emma marveled at how wonderful a turn they'd taken. This was the start of everything she hoped that they could be.

Luckily for Emma and Killian, they were given the chance to truly try, exploring the feelings they shared for each other, and watching them grow with each passing day. As expected, the chemistry between them, and the love already blooming only strengthened with time. Soon enough they had their own wedding, and though it was of a smaller scale than the one that brought them together, it was perfect for them in every way. And in the end, the only thing that mattered was that they had each other, and that they always, _always_ would.

…

 _Who's fault is this  
That I'm crazy about you  
You are in every single dream  
And I'm thinking about you_

 _If you wanna do, do, do me right  
Do, do, do, do, do  
If you wanna leave it all tonight  
Do, do, do, do, do_

 _When there's nothing left  
Except you and this  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne_

 _When there's nothing left  
Except you and this  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne_

 _I count every kiss  
Till I'm finally sleeping  
This love supreme  
That's why I'll always give in_

 _If you wanna do, do, do me right  
Do, do, do, do, do  
If you wanna leave it all tonight  
Do, do, do, do, do_

 _When there's nothing left  
Except you and this  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne_

 _When there's nothing left  
Except you and this  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne_

 _All I want is your love  
Don't give in  
All I want is your love  
Don't give in  
All I want is your love  
Don't give in  
All I want is your love  
All I want is your_

 _When there's nothing left  
Except you and this  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne_

 _When there's nothing left  
Except you and this  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne kisses  
Champagne_

 _And I won't be mad  
I won't be mad  
Champagne kisses  
And I won't be mad  
I won't be mad  
Champagne kisses_

 _ **Post-Note: Just the utmost fluffiness for this lovely Saturday afternoon, because I was in need of some. It is also wedding season and I need an outlet for all my personal views on weddings (which is that small and intimate always wins out over royal-wedding-esque crowds). I always wonder what a CS wedding would look like on this show, and in a way I'm happy we haven't gotten one yet, because until then I can come up with a hundred variations of cuteness. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you all have a lovely weekend!**_


	82. Gorgeous

_**A/N: This one-shot is an AU where Emma is a famous actress and Killian is one of her bodyguards. He sees how lonely she is in this life in the spotlight, and one night his need to care for her beats his need to be professional at his job. Includes a whole new dynamic I've never had the pleasure of including in the mixtape which is kind of crazy seeing as I'm edging on 100 songs. As per usual this chapter brings with it a hot bed of fluff and cuteness and it was inspired by a reader prompt for 'Gorgeous' by X Ambassadors (Which is awesome! Go listen right now!).**_

" _Emma, Emma, over here! Emma look over here!"_

 _Another night, another band of vultures trying to get her attention,_ Killian thought to himself as he looked at the woman in question. Emma Swan bore the pitfalls of fame better than many of his clients in the past, but he could see that these scavengers and their crazy antics took a toll. Yet, this was her life, and it was one of constant public vigilance and borderline harassment from greasy looking men in ball caps, willing to do anything to snap a picture of her.

Since her last Oscar win a few months back, Emma's popularity had skyrocketed, which meant that getting her anywhere, even back to her Beverly Hills home, proved nightmarish. More than a dozen paparazzi camped outside her house at all hours, and no matter how under the radar Emma's personal life remained, they didn't care. Just a single image of this woman went for big money. As her bodyguard, the work to keep her safe proved grueling, and her want for a limit in exposure made it even harder. Killian and his partners kept chaos at bay, most of the time just by a hair.

"They always seem to think that's going to work," Emma said, filling the SUV with a sound other than the hustle and bustle of the photogs outside, and Killian savored the pitch of that sweet voice as he did every time she spoke. It wasn't the one she used as her baseline in her movies or interviews. That one held the tones of acting, but here, secluded in a space she deemed safe, she let the glitz and pomp fall away. Killian truly believed she was even more sublime than the rest of the world could fathom when she shed away the persona and let herself just be.

"I've yet to see an intelligent one in the bunch, love." Emma smiled, and Killian could see that the small joke helped to ease the stress that clung to her shoulders. Another piece of the costume falling away, one bit at a time.

Killian had been assigned to Emma's security detail for nearly six months, and in that time, Emma Swan treated him with nothing but the utmost kindness and friendliness. No one compared to her, certainly not in this industry, and where everyone in this town seemed fake and strategizing, Killian saw that Emma was not. She didn't care for the spotlight, and only remained in it for the trade off. If she wanted to act, and wanted access to the best movies and scripts of each season, she needed to be a commodity, and that meant press and buzz and a shell of a real life without a shred of privacy.

"At least they've stopped asking me about August. It didn't matter that I went to one lunch with him months ago. Clearly we were in love." The teasing in her voice as the car moved through the gate and up the drive way, finally clear of the vultures that wanted a piece of her, did nothing to stop the clench to Killian's gut that came at the words. Despite his working for her (well working for his brother, who was in charge of her security consultations) Killian had formed a far from impersonal attachment to Emma.

In truth, he loved her, in the most maddening of ways. Whether she was near or far she was always on his mind, and he compared every woman that he met to her. None of them ever measured up, not just in terms of beauty, but in every respect. Emma was funny, charming, incredibly bright, and filled with unbridled goodness. She gave her time, money, and efforts to all sorts of charities, most of which cared for kids, spending nearly all her free time in pursuit of helping others, but she kept that part of her life as secret as she could. It wasn't for a reputation or a PR boost, and Killian would wager that if Emma hadn't been an actress, she'd have chosen a quiet life composed of helping people over any personal gain.

Part of her work included being seen with other pretty people who were also deemed popular by the masses, and letting the public speculate about who she was seeing, and what their romance must be like. But every night Emma came home alone, at least since he'd started working. Killian knew a day would come though when she would find someone in the circles that she belonged to who she'd want, and he'd have to live through it. He dreaded that day, knowing that just watching her at a fake date with the leading man in the latest action blockbuster a few months back had killed him, and that had all been acting.

"The house and the property are clear, Miss Swan," Will Scarlett, one of the new men hired out by Liam's firm announced when they made it inside. They'd recently updated her detail to two overnight guards along with her three for daytime hours. It was overly cautious in her eyes, but to Killian, it wasn't enough. Emma was the most precious of people, and should be treated as such.

"Thanks Will. And it's Emma." Will nodded, before returning to his perch by the front of the house. Emma meanwhile moved inside and tossed off her jacket on a chair before looking over he shoulder.

"Dinner?" She asked and Killian nodded, happy for the ritual of being with her that they got to share on days when her commitments ended early enough. Technically protocol allowed that he could be elsewhere in the house, but he liked to be near Emma, and when he'd discovered her propensity for cooking for not only herself but her staff as well, Killian hated to leave all the work to her. He'd been her sous chef ever since.

"Any particular cravings tonight, love?" Emma blushed a bit, which Killian didn't understand but then she grinned, and went into the fridge pulling out a number of items that all hinted at her wanting Italian.

"I was thinking chicken parm. I need comfort food." Killian nodded, wanting more than anything to talk with her about it, but after watching Emma for months, he knew she was not a woman prone to sharing her burdens with others. She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders, and it wasn't Killian's place to bear it with her, much as he might want it to be.

Their conversations stayed the path of lighter times while they cooked, covering their mutual interests in music and books, and weaving in and out of Emma and Killian's personal childhood memories in the kitchen. All talk between them was easy, but the domesticity of the situation, and the easy playfulness with which Emma greeted him at every turn set a yearning off in Killian. He ached to hold her when he saw the lingering tautness in her shoulders, to kiss away the worry lines that cropped up when she looked at her calendar or her phone dinged with text after text. Instead he joked with her, distracting her from the world outside and the people who just wanted her for her success and her appearance.

"I still think your choice in aprons leaves a bit to be desired, Swan." Emma looked down at the garment, which showcased the cast of her favorite sci-fi show, revealing her sometimes nerdier tendencies. She rolled her eyes at him.

"I'll have you know this was a gift." Killian smirked.

"From who?" Emma mumbled something he couldn't here. "What was that love?"

"Myself." Suddenly Killian could see his joke had turned a corner. That wasn't laughter in her eyes but sadness, and seeing it there because of him pushed him forward. His hands came to hold both of her arms.

"Emma I didn't mean anything by it." She sniffled a bit, and Killian could see that she was willing away the tears. Not a one shed, but there was no denying her hurt. One of his hands came to cup her cheek. "Emma I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." She shook her head, her eyes finding their way to his once more.

"It's okay. I guess you just reminded me that I don't actually have anyone." His heart clutched painfully in his chest at the thought.

"You have your friends. Mary Margaret and Ruby." Emma nodded, giving a small smile.

"Yeah. I do, but they're not here. They're back home in Maine and they have their own families and their own lives, you know?" Killian understood, but he wracked his brain for more people she might have. The sad reality was that not a one of her ' _friends'_ in LA were people he'd think to count on when the shit hit the fan. They were fair-weather people – there for the good and slipping out the back when things got tough.

"You have me." Emma's eyes grew wider, and he could see something an awful lot like hope in those emerald orbs. His own pulse kicked up at the thought that she even wanted him to be there for her. Then a wave of doubt returned to her beautiful face.

"It's your job to be here, Killian, that's different." A feeling of anger spiked in him, not at her, but at the thought that he was simply here for a paycheck. He was good at his job, fantastic even, and had offers for details all over the country, but he stayed here for her, not for the salary. If he was smart he'd keep that to himself, but all thought for propriety and professionalism flew out the window when Emma was in such a state.

"It's not Emma. Surely you can see there's more here than that. At least on my end." Emma looked shocked, shaking her head again but not stepping out of his hold. If anything she moved a half step closer and Killian took that as a sign that he could continue on, confessing to her just how worthy he saw her to be. "I'm here for _you_ , Swan. There's nothing else keeping me here but what I feel for you."

" _No_." The word sounded desperate, as if she still tried to cling to the notion that she didn't matter to him, but her hands were gripping at the cotton of his shirt, trying to keep him in place.

"Is it so unbelievable that I would care for you, love? As wonderful and glorious as you are, you must realize how you would call to me." Emma looked down again.

"That's just an image, Killian. I'm not that person. The parties, the red carpets, the awards, it's all just an act." Killian tipped her chin up to look at him and waited until her eyes were on his again to continue on.

"I wasn't talking about Emma Swan, the movie star. I was talking about Emma Swan, the amateur cook who dances to rock music at two in the morning when she can't sleep. The Emma who spends all her time worrying about how she can help others in a sea of people who only care about themselves. The Emma who has my heart securely in her hand and who has since she told me about her obsession with Indiana Jones and chocolate chip cookie dough." Emma choked out a laugh that almost sounded strangled by a sob at his bit of light teasing.

"Killian, this could never work." She said, earnestly. "My life isn't conducive to 'normal,' and you deserve better than that." Killian ran his hands over her, tracing her stunning figure as he'd desired to for months, not willing for her to think for a second that he wanted anything more than her to be happy.

"Normal is overrated if you're with the right person." Emma denied that resolutely.

"No, _really_ it isn't. Trust me, all of this is not worth it. I wish things were different, I wish I was a different person, but I gave away my right to the life I want a long time ago. If I could I would run away tomorrow and just fade out of the spotlight, get lost in the crowd, but I can't. And I can't drag someone like you into this with me." Killian saw her lip quivering, as if she was about to break, and he rubbed his thumb over it lightly, trying to smooth away the hurt.

"I believe you could be anything and do anything you want, love, but you could never be normal. You could never be just another person. You are a miracle and there's no tamping such a thing down. It can't be hidden. It's a part of you." Emma closed her eyes at his words, and he could feel her warring with herself, but her push back was fading.

"You shouldn't say things like this to me." The words came out as little more than a whisper.

"Tell me you've no interest in me Emma. Tell me it's all one sided and you've never wondered if we weren't just wasting precious time pretending. If you can tell me that, I'll let it go. But I don't think you can. I think you feel this with me." He brought her one of her hands up to his heart as Emma opened her mouth but nothing came out. She clamped her lips tightly together at that. "You might be an actress, love, but with me you've only ever been Emma, the woman who owns me. I'm yours Emma. All you have to do is say the word."

"I want to," Emma said. "But I'm scared."

"Of me?" She nodded.

"You could _wreck_ me, Killian! I've lost people to this life, but you're different. I can't have you walk away from me. I can't lose you too." Her confession simultaneously elated him and stoked a fear of his own. If he couldn't make her see that he meant this, and that he was already all in, he could lose his chance forever.

"I'm not going anywhere, Emma. But I also can't stay silent any longer. I need you to know that for me, you are the realest thing in my world. You are brilliant and funny and gorgeous, and just standing in your light makes me feel the same. I am at my best with you. I can take on anything with you and for you Emma. I – I love you."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than Emma's resistance caved and she pulled him down to her, their bodies flush against each other as she sought proof of his love and passion and fire. He delivered of course, but not without being consumed by the flames as well. His whole body shook with the boundless energy and raw carnal need for her that the kiss inspired. Too soon though, the gorgeous feeling of her mouth on his and her warm body in his embrace disappeared as she pulled back, pushing against his chest.

"That was…" Killian trailed off in the aftermath of what could only be described as the single best kiss of his life.

"Yeah." Without another word, Emma fled the kitchen, leaving Killian standing there, two fingers pressed to his lips, trying to understand what had just happened. He still stood there minutes later when the timer dinged that their food was done. He felt completely unnerved, as if transformed from mere man to god. Not even the worry of her subsequent reaction could douse the pleasure of that kiss, because she'd given him something beyond heat – she'd given him fairly damning evidence that she felt for him just as strongly, whether or not she was willing to face it yet.

He took care of the abundance of food they'd made, preparing a plate for the others and one for Emma. He knew better than to think that she'd answer the door when he knocked, but he left a tray with her food and a note in the hallway. It simply told her his truth:

' _I won't push, but I'm here. I'll always be here. All you have to do is let me in. x K'_

Killian only hoped that would be enough.

…...

In the light of the next day, Killian found he had no regrets about what he said or what he'd done, but that didn't mean his morning passed without awkwardness. The car ride from Emma's house to the studio was one of silence, as Emma actively looked at her phone instead of him, furiously typing things out all the while. As far as rejections went, this one was relatively straightforward, not that he expected anything different.

"She alright, man?" Will asked from his spot in the front seat and Killian gave a jerked nod. Will remained skeptical but kept quiet after that, leaving Killian to stew in his own emotions. Maybe he should have handled all of this differently, but it was out there now. "Oh I forgot to brief you this morning, but Liam's meeting us there. The studio wanted to go over her security detail and he figured a personal check-in would be better than a phone one."

Great, so now Killian wouldn't just have a silent Emma avoiding him, he'd have his nosey and very perceptive brother to deal with too. Killian didn't believe for a second that Liam wouldn't see something was off, and one way or another, his brother would try and get the truth out of him. If Liam knew about this attachment, he might reassign Killian and that wasn't an option. Even if Emma pushed him away, Killian couldn't leave her. That would just prove he was the same as all the unworthy people in her life. For better or worse he wanted to be at her side.

The silence lingered the rest of the way, but Killian could feel Emma's eyes on him whenever he looked away. He tried to catch her glances, to share a moment where he could silently plead with her to see him, and to see that he cared, but she was always just a second faster. By the time they arrived, Killian was nowhere with her, and he remained frozen out as they moved through the studio to the boardroom that waited for her.

"Miss Swan," Killian heard his brother's greeting before seeing the man, which told him that these distractions were putting Emma at risk. He should be aware of everything around them to keep her safe. He resolved to do so, but watched as Emma smiled at Liam easily.

"Hello Liam. I didn't realize you would be here." Emma sounded surprised, but not upset by his brother's presence.

"Just going over some particulars with the studio for the next movie. You know the drill." Killian watched Emma's lips thin into a hard line.

"I do. But it wasn't necessary this time. If you'll excuse me." For the first me all day, Emma looked at Killian and in his eyes he saw an inexplicable intensity. He froze in the face of it, not understanding her meaning in the slightest, but then she moved forward, leaving him and Liam behind as Will opened the door to the conference room for her.

"What in God's name was that?" Liam asked, clearly concerned at the idea that Emma didn't think she needed security.

"I have no idea." Both brothers walked into the conference room, taking their usual place seated against the back wall. The room was filled nearly to the brink with people from both the studio and Emma's representation. She walked passed them all to take a seat at the head of the table. Killian couldn't help but notice how she practically glowed in her soft white dress with her hair falling loose. She was a vision, his Swan, and yet she wasn't really his. His jaw clenched at the thought.

"Hi everyone. I know we're here to finalize the talks about the next Marvel franchise, but there's been a change in plans." Emma looked through the glass of the room and waved in someone Killian recognized – Belle French, an associate at the entertainment law offices Emma kept on retainer that she had taken a liking too. Belle made her way into the room, distributing a packet of paper to the other twelve people sitting at the table. As she did so, all the assistants and interns moved to look over the shoulders of their bosses, curious at the change in schedule.

"Emma I don't understand. This paper says you're rescinding all offers on the table to you right now." Emma nodded at her agent Lily's words.

"That's right." The entire boardroom of people sat there gaping at her, while Killian felt hope like he never had before. "And before you get any ideas in your head about changing my mind, know that I already sent a variation of that top letter to the three outside projects I was signed on for next year."

"You _what_?!" Lily yelled, filling the room with a shrill tone. If Killian could have made room for any emotion other than shock, he'd have felt for the woman. Emma was her biggest client. This must be a nightmare for her. Instead his eyes stayed glued to Emma, taking in everything about her. She remained firm, but her voice warbled and he could hear his girl in there instead of the world famous movie star when she spoke again.

"I'm done. I can't do this anymore." Kathryn Parker, the VP of studio affairs looked livid at Emma's emotional confession. She sat unimpressed by the vulnerability in Emma's voice.

"You can't just back out of these things! You're under contract!" Emma shook her head.

"I _was_ under contract, but as of a month ago, we entered renegotiations. I haven't signed anything, and I won't be re-upping with you or anyone else. As for the films in postproduction, I know for a fact that I promised one week of national and one week of international promo. I will stick to that in a few months when it's time, ensuring that you get enough fans excited to make your buckets of money, but I won't give any more of my life to this. I've sacrificed too much already."

Emma looked at Killian then only for a moment, but that was all it took to know that she was doing this in part because of him. Whatever her motives though, Killian couldn't be prouder of her. The emotion flooded through him, his heart pumping it through his veins and he watched with rapt attention as Emma stood up for what she truly wanted, without backing down from chasing her own dream.

"So you're just going to, what? Move to the country and raise chickens? Find a little house in the burbs and settle down? This is so incredibly stupid!" Emma stood up to go at the words while Killian bristled at the VP's behavior and took a step towards Emma to get her out of there, but the President of the studio, Regina Mills, interrupted.

"That's enough, Kathryn. Emma, it will be a sad thing to lose you, but it seems you've made your mind up and there will be no changing it." Emma relaxed a bit at the words.

"I have." Regina nodded, sizing Emma up in the process.

"Well then. I hope that you will consider us if you ever make a comeback. You've got real talent Miss Swan, and despite what you may think, we'll be missing more than the 'buckets of money' you make us when you go. I'll have someone reach out when we need you back for promo. Until then, good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for."

Regina stood up and walked over to Emma shaking her hand before leaving the room. The rest of the studio execs, still flabbergasted, stood to leave as well, and as soon as they did, Emma's agency went more than a little nuts. Emma though, walked passed all of them and moved straight for him.

"Did you mean what you said last night?" She asked him quietly.

"Aye, love. Every word." She smiled and reached for his hand, which he gladly gave her, interlacing their fingers together.

"I was thinking about going back to Maine, seeing if I can have that life I dreamed of after all. But I only want it if it can be with the man I love. Come with me, Killian." Killian couldn't imagine a moment when he'd ever felt such bliss before. She wanted him too, and it didn't matter if she was going to the moon. Wherever she went, he would follow, as long as she'd let him.

"It would be my honor and my greatest joy." Tears formed in those gorgeous eyes of her once more, but these ones were happy, and they spilled down her cheeks when she brought him down to kiss her again. Suddenly the room held only them, as everything and everyone else faded away, at least until Killian got a tap on the shoulder and looked to see it was Liam.

"I would advise you still take some protection with you, Emma. At least at first. And I don't just mean this oaf you're putting out of his lovesick misery either." Emma laughed, and the sound melted away Killian's resentment at having been called an oaf. Clearly Liam knew all along about his love for Emma, and it would make his impending resignation from her detail easier.

"I think you're right. I was thinking of driving there though, how much do you think that'll cost me?" Killian could hardly make out the details exchanged between his love and his brother, lost as he was in the fact that she loved him in return and that now he had the right to hold her like this. She was his, and that was the greatest blessing in his life. He pressed a kiss to her temple, unable to contain himself.

"Killian?" Emma said softly, pulling him from the trance he was in.

"Yes, love?" She smiled at the endearment, running her fingertips across his cheek.

"Let's go home."

They departed that very afternoon for Maine, arriving there a few weeks later after an abundance of stops, but when they reached her hometown of Storybrooke, something magical happened. They found the life they'd both been wishing for, and the happily ever after that came with it too.

Emma used her lingering name recognition and the wealth she'd accrued to start a foundation aimed at supporting and caring for kids in the foster system that Killian helped her with every step of the way. Between her work there and her solidified life with Killian, Emma had never been happier, which meant Killian had never been either. They shared their burdens and their joys together forever after, and when they looked back, both Emma and Killian would admit that they shared a most gorgeous of loves together.

…

 _I might be better off without you  
There's too many people all around you  
All these vultures that surround you  
They don't know a thing about you_

 _You're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
Oh, so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous_

 _Nobody understands you  
You ain't nothing they can handle  
Every man you put your hands on  
You make him feel so god damn handsome_

 _I feel, ooh, so pretty whenever you're around  
I feel, ooh, so pretty  
Feel ten feet off the ground_

 _You're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
Oh, so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous_

 _We are young, we are free  
Like renegades, like James Dean  
Beat the drum, sing off-key  
You set me free, you set me free_

 _Cause you're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
Oh, so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
You're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
So gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
You're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
Oh, so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous_

 _Cause you're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
Oh, so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
You're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
So gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
You're so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous  
Oh, so gorgeous  
Cause you make me feel gorgeous_

 _ **Post-Note: So I cannot stress enough how happy I am and thankful for this and all of your lovely prompts! It not only introduced me to a great new song but brought this new addition to the mixtape. There were easily a half a dozen ideas I came up with thanks to this song, and I plan to write them all in some capacity, whether under a different song title or in larger fics. This is the magic of prompts – you guys see things that I miss or would never get the chance to find without your help. Whether it's for this playlist or other stories, your feedback is not only valued but cherished! Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!**_


	83. Back In My Arms Again

_**A/N: 1960s set AU where Emma and Killian are each other's first loves but he's from the wrong side of town and Emma's a good girl who's actually going off to college in the fall. Emma convinces herself that they can't work, but Killian shows her that they can. Includes cuteness, a little tiny bit of angst, and lots of love. Inspired by an all time classic 'Back In My Arms Again' by the Supremes.**_

While the rest of the world moved with endless energy around her, Emma Swan felt trapped. Here in her normal after school spot in a far booth at Granny's diner, Emma peered out the window at the cheerful kids, relaxed locals, and the couple of tourists who'd stumbled across their small beachfront town and envied their excitement. Emma knew she should be just as elated as they all did, but summer was nearly here, and with it came a mountain of change. She stood at the start of a new chapter of her life, but Emma didn't feel glad for it. Instead, her heart sank in her chest at the realization that she was nearly out of time. How would she ever make things right? How would she ever know for sure if she'd made the right decision?

"Emma? Emma are you listening to me?" Mary Margaret's voice pulled Emma from her daydream and she blinked at her friend.

"Sorry, there's just a lot going on right now." Mary Margaret searched Emma's face before nodding and continuing what she was saying. Emma let go a sigh of relief. If her friend had only known what Emma was thinking about, she would have started in on the lecture of a lifetime.

"Well with graduation tomorrow, you must be a nervous wreck. I still can't believe you're going to college in the fall, Emma. It's just so…"

"Admirable?" Ruby supplied from her spot beside Mary Margaret.

"Exciting?" Belle, the last member of their group of four offered.

"Unexpected," Mary Margaret clarified as Emma bit the inside of her cheek. Mary Margaret was one of Emma's dearest friends, but she was also very old fashioned. It didn't matter that the world was changing, for Mary Margaret, who had only babies and marriage and dinner parties on the brain, a female friend going to Boston College in the fall didn't rank as particularly desirable.

"It wasn't _unexpected_ that David would be going to school – why is it so shocking that Emma would?" Belle asked, her kind politeness offsetting any offense Mary Margaret might feel.

"David is going to be a doctor, just like his father and his father before him." Emma understood that Mary Margaret probably meant nothing by the words other than to say that David was destined for more schooling, but by bringing up David's lineage, she'd pointed out Emma's as well. Emma was an orphan, having lost her parents before any of her memories of them could solidify. Since their passing, she'd lived with Ruby and her Gran, and had never known a life other than that. To say that the Lucas ladies were a bit more liberated than Mary Margaret would be an understatement. They were thrilled at the prospect of Emma spreading her wings and chasing her dreams.

"Incoming," Ruby stage whispered loud enough for them all to hear, and the next thing Emma knew, the diner door flung open and the rowdy noise that followed signaled a bit of trouble. The three boys, or rather men, who walked through the doors all had reputations for being fast, loud, and rebellious. Will Scarlet, Robin Locksley, and Killian Jones. The appearance of Killian especially made for a startling prospect. Emma could practically feel her heart beating out of her chest.

The deluge of memories that flooded through her mind were unavoidable with Killian so close, and though she'd managed over the last month to try and push them back in order to protect herself, nothing worked. Instead she relived a lifetime of interactions with him in a matter of seconds. Visions of them playing at recess together in elementary school after he'd moved here from abroad, and of him coming to the diner with her most days after school sent a pang of longing through her.

Killian was one of Emma's first friends aside from Ruby, a quiet boy who'd been nothing but loyal and protective when it came to her, and Emma had always seen him as someone she could trust. Killian also never looked at her with pity for being an orphan, seeing as he was one too. He'd been left to the care of his older brother Liam, a sailor from the British Navy who now served the US in a consulting capacity. Liam was away often, traveling from base to base, and when he was gone, Killian was left here in town with his great aunt, who'd moved to Storybrooke years ago.

As Emma and Killian grew older, it became clear that their friendship was something out of the common way. They belonged to different circles, with more than conflicting worldviews, but Emma always held onto her closeness to him. It didn't matter to her that her friends preferred dances to drive-ins or popular music to rock, she'd always seen herself and Killian as more than the company they kept. Even when they didn't see much of each other, Emma knew Killian to be truly good and that under all the rebel tendencies, he was still the boy she'd known from childhood.

When he'd reached out and asked for her to tutor him last fall, Emma was surprised but delighted, secretly joyous at the prospect of spending more time with him. That was when things had taken a turn from their being friends from opposite sides of the tracks to being star-crossed lovers. Well perhaps that was dramatic, but Emma could still feel the way his strong arms held her and his kiss on her lips. She wanted more embraces like that more she could bear to say aloud, and yet Killian remained just out of her reach, and the pain of their separation was profound, at least for her.

"I don't know why your grandmother even lets those hooligans in here, Ruby. They're completely lacking in any sort of manners. I'm shocked any of them are even eligible to graduate."

Emma scarcely heard Mary Margaret's comment, consumed as she was with trying _not_ to look at Killian. She often failed at this task, since he fascinated her like no other person she'd ever met, and when at last her will gave out and her eyes looked up to him, his piercing blue ones gazed back at her. He smiled in that way that he only ever did for her. Not the roguish grin he used when troublemaking at school as a sign of his cocky charm, but a softer look that made her feel special and seen.

Taking him all in, Emma could see Killian wore his signature leather jacket, and his hair was just a bit too long to be deemed respectable. It looked a little windswept, likely from his motorcycle that he'd bought and restored himself, and Emma remembered what it was like to run her fingers through those dark locks. Her hands balled into fists instinctively trying to calm down, but it didn't work, the need to touch him remained all the same. In short, Killian was the single best looking man Emma had ever seen, and she doubted anyone else would ever compare.

"Killian's actually really smart. You know he's read all of Shakespeare, and we were only assigned _Romeo and Juliet_ in Mrs. Hubbard's class. He can quote it and everything."

Emma could readily believe Belle's words. Any time she'd ever studied with or talked to Killian he'd been witty and bright, and so funny and thoughtful. He didn't need a tutor, but she'd continued to meet him every week because she liked his company more than almost anyone else's. He made her feel good and she couldn't think of another person who'd ever made her laugh so much, but then she'd pushed him away upon receiving her acceptance to school, scared that she was getting too attached. He probably thought she'd been convinced that it was his reputation, or her friend's advice that pushed Emma away, but it was fear, and now all she had instead was regret.

"Smart boys don't ride motorcycles and cause a ruckus all over town." Emma hated listening to Mary Margaret talk poorly about Killian or his friends, and usually she would redirect the conversation, but she felt too tongue tied right now to say much of anything. Between the judgment of her friend, and her attraction to the boy she couldn't have because she hadn't been brave enough to try, Emma felt sick to her stomach. Tears formed in her eyes, an unusual occurrence for Emma who rarely cried, and she tried to blink them away to no avail. She felt her whole body overflowing with so many emotions that all felt ready to boil over. Quickly she grabbed her school bag, and put the books she'd had on the counter inside.

"Emma what's wrong?" Ruby asked, clearly concerned. Emma was never one for lying, but right now, she needed to move quickly, and any mention of the truth would cause an even larger scene than she felt herself creating.

"I think I forgot something back at the school that I need for the ceremony tomorrow. I'm going to run back there and hope they haven't locked the doors yet." Emma stood, inching out past Belle, hoping to make a quick enough getaway that no one truly saw the pain she felt.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Belle asked and Emma shook her head.

"No, I'm okay. I'll see you all later." With that Emma rushed out of the diner, moving passed Killian without so much as a glance, though she felt his eyes on her as she walked out.

Once she reached fresh air, Emma felt the tiniest bit better, but still her restlessness would not give way. She immediately headed towards the school, not for any purpose other than to keep moving, but she felt a hand on her arm pulling her into the small park beside the diner. She didn't need to look up to know who the hand belonged to.

"Are you alright, love?" Killian asked and Emma swallowed back the lump in her throat, finally gearing up to look at him. The caring and concern in his eyes cut her to the core. She couldn't lie to him, she'd never been able to so and so she just shook her head. His hands came to pull her closer, without a care for who could see them or that they hadn't spoken in nearly a month. "Talk to me, Swan. What can I do to help?"

"Forgive me," Emma whispered, watching as his concern shifted from confusion to a level of understanding.

"There's nothing to forgive, love. I took liberties when I kissed you that night, I shouldn't have done it -,"

"No, you should have – I mean I liked it – I liked you." Killian's brow rose at her use of past tense.

" _Liked_?" Emma felt her cheeks warm out of embarrassment.

"I got scared of what was happening between us. It all felt so big, and I have plans, a life I'm supposed to get to." Killian pulled a hand away from her hip to grab a slip of paper from his jeans pocket. He handed it to her and Emma unfolded it with shaky fingers. It was the article in the town paper about Emma's admission to BC as one of their first female honors scholars.

"I know you're destined for great things, love. I've always seen that and I would never dream of coming between you and your hopes for the future." Emma felt the tears welling in her eyes all over again at this clear as day bit of proof that he hadn't forgotten her.

"Knowing you has changed me, Emma. I didn't realize what I wanted until everything that happened with you. I want to be a better person – make a difference instead of making a mess of things. I've enlisted and when I get back, I was thinking of going to college too." Emma's hands gripped his shirt.

"You did _what_?!" A hundred thoughts ran through her brain, not the least of which was whether or not he was ever going to tell her. If she hadn't just left diner in this state, would she have found out when she woke up one morning and he was gone? She shivered at the thought.

"I report to boot camp next week, love." Emma pictured Killian in a uniform, fighting for this country a world away from her, and she closed her eyes ducking her head down in defeat. Of course he'd done something honorable like this in the name of a future that was good and happy. That was the boy she knew him to be, and this was an understandable path given his brothers affiliations with the military, but Killian would be putting himself in danger, and she couldn't handle that. Still Emma tried to be strong, not wanting to break down in front of him.

"So you can see why it would never work, between us," Emma whispered. Killian's fingers came to tip her chin back up so he could look into her eyes once more.

"But what if it can, love? I've enrolled for just the year. My brother has the connections to see my tour doesn't extend longer than that. I could come back to you." Emma felt hope flutter in her chest for the first time in a long time.

"But I'll be in Boston," Killian grinned.

"Aye, love and you'll blow them all away with that mind of yours."

"You'd come all the way there?" Killian took Emma's hand in his, bringing it up to press a gentle kiss against her skin.

"I would follow you anywhere, Emma. As long as you'll let me." Nothing could make her happier than that.

"Why?" Emma had to ask, even though in her heart she knew the answer.

"Because I love you. I always have, and I always will." Emma couldn't hold back the hiccup that bubbled out of her chest on the sob that wanted to break free. He loved her! Killian loved her!

"I love you, too." Killian held Emma close as she confessed her feelings, and she could feel the sigh of relief that escaped him.

"Then let's try this, love. It's one year. We can write and before you know it, you'll be back in my arms again." Emma pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before resting her forehead against his.

"Okay." And though her fear didn't fall away completely, Emma finally accepted that she was willing to fight for them, as long as she had Killian in this with her.

…..

 _One Year Later_

"Emma you look positively ready to explode. Sit down, just for a minute. He won't get here any sooner with you pacing like that." Emma heard Ruby's advice from where her friend sat beside Granny and tried to follow it, but her foot kept tapping in anticipation. Today was the day – she was finally going to see Killian after a year apart. They currently waited for him in the arrivals portion of the Boston airport, but Emma's emotions were frayed to say the least.

After confessing that they loved each other, Killian and Emma spent practically every moment before he shipped out together, and she'd told her friends the truth, starting with Ruby and Granny. Emma would never forget the reply she'd gotten from the two women who she considered to be her family.

" _Well of course you love him, Emma. You've been in love with him since you were a little girl."_ Emma simply never realized how obvious she'd been with her affections, and even Mary Margaret had suspected something might exist between the two of them. Her friend went so far as to apologize for her words, saying if Emma was certain that Killian was the one, than she would trust her instincts.

Since his departure, Emma and Killian had been writing to each other as much as they could. Emma worried for his safety all the time, and lay awake some nights until the wee hours of the morning praying that she'd hear from him and that he'd be home soon. Each cream colored envelope stamped with that military insignia was a beacon of hope, a promise that at least recently he'd been safe.

Killian filled the pages with everything from recaps of life in war, to memories he had of the two of them. Some letters held great quotes of love and promises of fidelity, others held his own words moving her to tears with the sincerity and thought he put into each one. All of them were currently treasured in a box she'd bought in Storybrooke before leaving for school, and it was nearly full with pieces of him Emma wouldn't give up for anything.

She'd had her studies to distract her on some level over the past twelve months, but Killian was never far from Emma's mind, and today he'd be home again. Emma could hardly believe it – after wishing for his return so long, it seemed more a dream than actual life, but then she heard his voice, and she knew this was real.

"Swan!" Emma turned around to see Killian getting off the plane, dressed in his uniform, looking handsome as ever. He'd grown up so much in a year, but then again, so had she. It took all of one second for Emma to break out into a run towards him. He moved to her as well and they came together in the tightest embrace. Holding him, feeling him with her in the flesh, was like nothing she'd ever known before. The only thing that rivaled it was the moment he'd said he loved her so many months ago.

"You came back to me," Emma said hearing the awe in her voice and the clog of emotions that gripped at it.

"I promised you I would, and I have no intentions of ever letting you down." Emma wiped at the tears rolling down her face as she pressed kisses to his lips and then his cheeks. He was home, and now it felt like once again she could be complete. Too much of her had gone with him overseas, now finally she was whole again.

"No more leaving," Emma said finally pulling back and he laughed, a sound that washed over her, soothing away months of worry as it came.

"No more leaving." Killian reached into his pocket, and Emma smiled at the letter he pulled from there. She took it when he handed it to her, but shook her head.

"I don't need anymore letters when I have you right here." Killian kissed her forehead.

"This is the last one, love." She opened it, feeling something at the bottom that she decided to save for after the note. She recognized his beautiful cursive, but the words she read truly stole her breath away.

 _My Dearest Emma,_

 _You are the greatest treasure the world over, and as I have now been to the far side of this globe and back, I feel particularly qualified to tell you that._

Emma laughed, looking up at Killian, but he appeared a bit on edge. She reached a hand up to cup his cheek, wondering what was wrong. He softly responded to her silent inquiry.

"Keep reading, love." He said, his hands holding her in place against him.

 _More than a year has come and gone since the day I told you that you had my heart. What I should have said then, and what I've tried to say all this time away, is that you, Emma, are everything to me. You are the light at the end of the tunnel that got me through the worst of times, and the dream I have for a life worth living. You are every good thing come together into one impossibly beautiful person. I can think of nothing more perfect than you, and the way the light reaches your eyes and your lips curve up when you smile. I've thought of your smile more times than I can count this last year._

 _Every night I spent away from you a part of me fell away, and the only thing that held anything together was the thought that one day we may have everything together. So here I am, love, asking you to grant me the greatest gift after you've already given me more than any man deserves. Be mine forever, let me walk through life at your side, and take me as I am, a man who loves you and who will always love you, from this day, until my last day._

 _Your Love,_

 _Killian_

Emma then watched as Killian took back the envelope and picked out the object inside. Emma had all but forgotten it, but then he opened it up to show her a diamond ring, beautifully set on a gold band.

"Killian?" He bent down on one knee, there in front of everyone at the gate of the airport and Emma covered her mouth. More tears spilling.

"I had all sorts of plans, love, about how I'd make this perfect, and I swear I'll ask you again in the most romantic way I can, but I need to know right now. Do you love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me? To make me the happiest man on earth, and give this soldier's heart some peace in the process." Emma nodded.

"Yes, Killian. Yes I will marry you!" He came back up, slipping the ring on her finger and kissing her with a passion she'd never known. The whole world fell away and all that remained was love and light and Killian.

"Much as I might like to keep kissing you like this, Swan, we've got an audience here." Emma beamed up at him, taking the arm he extended to her and leaning into him as they walked back towards the others.

"How did you even find a ring over there?" Emma asked, only now realizing how miraculous that must have been.

"We flew in through Paris and I got to spend a day in the city. All the while I thought of you, and how you wrote in one of your letters that it must be a remarkable place. And maybe it was, love, but all I could think was that it didn't matter since you weren't there. I want you forever, Emma, by my side as my wife and my partner. I'll take you anywhere you want to go, be anything you want to be, but I can't let you go. That's the only point I won't bargain on."

"She just said yes, son, I think you're probably okay on that point." The words from Granny pulled both Emma and Killian out of a daze and a giggle escaped Emma's lips as Killian grinned.

"I thought you were waiting for tonight, after dinner," Ruby said and Emma gaped at her.

"You two knew?!"

"Of course we knew! Why else would we have trekked into the city on such a sweltering day?" Killian leaned down to whisper in Emma's ear, adding to Ruby's teasing response.

"They're your family love, and I thought we might like their blessing. Liam's given his hearty approval as well." Emma smiled, squeezing his arm tighter where her hand held him.

Killian did eventually give Emma his intended proposal moment, and as promised, it was moving and magical and all the things Emma could have ever dreamed for, though she had to admit she preferred the first one right there at the gate. It proved to her sometimes still doubtful heart that Killian felt all the same emotions that she did, that they were in this together.

A wedding came as well, far sooner than most expected, and by the start of the next school term, Emma was Mrs. Jones, a doted upon wife and an honors student at the same time. With Killian by her side, Emma found success in all things. She eventually found satisfaction in her career and the chance to be a mother, bringing together her two great dreams all while standing next to the man she loved most in the world. But through it all the best parts of Emma's life were the moments when she and Killian were there together, for nothing in any place or any time could compare to the safety and love that came when she was back in his arms again.

…

 _All day long, I hear my telephone ring  
Friends calling giving their advice  
From the boy I love, I should break away  
'Cause heartaches, he'll bring one day_

 _I lost him once through friends' advice  
But it's not gonna happen twice  
'Cause all advice ever gotten me  
Was really long and sleepless nights  
(Oooooh!)_

 _But now, he's back in my arms again  
Right by my side  
I got him back in my arms again  
So satisfied  
(Oooooh!)_

 _It's easy for friends to say let him go  
But I'm the one who needs him so  
It's his love that makes me strong  
Without him, I can't go on_

 _This time, I'll live my life at ease  
Being happy loving whom I please  
And each time we make romance,  
I'll be thankful for a second chance  
(Oooooh!)_

 _'Cause he's back in my arms again  
Right by my side  
I got him back in my arms again  
So satisfied  
(Oooooh!)_

 _How can Mary tell me what to do  
When she lost her love so true?  
And Flo, she don't know  
'Cause the boy she loves is a Romeo_

 _I listened once to my friends' advice  
But it's not gonna happen twice  
'Cause all advice ever gotten me  
Was really long and sleepless nights  
(Oooooh!)_

 _I got him back in my arms again  
Right by my side  
I got him back in my arms again  
So satisfied  
(Oooooh!)_

 _I'm satisfied  
So satisfied, I'm satisfied  
I'm satisfied, so satisfied_

 _ **Post-Note: I am so excited that I finally found the muse to include this fic in the mixtape. I've had it in my unwritten playlist for a while now, but today I was just ready to write this for whatever reason, call it a hump day miracle. It's very different than the other AUs in this one-shot collection, and at one time I'd considered making it a multi-chapter but I realized I don't actually know enough about the 60s to do a whole multi-chapter justice. Nevertheless, I hope you all like it, and at the very least, it's an excuse for us all to listen to this awesome song. Thanks for reading and have a great rest of your day!**_


	84. Break Up In A Small Town

_**A/N: So by popular demand (and I do mean popular, since five separate people have requested this song) I am bringing you all a chapter inspired by 'Break Up In A Small Town' by Sam Hunt. It's an AU set in Storybrooke where Emma and Killian didn't break up per se, but they ended before they could really begin. It gives us some jealous Killian (for all of you lovely people who are constantly asking me to write more of that) as well as a tiny bit of angst, the eventual fluffy and over the top love confession, and a dash of smut just for good measure. In a nutshell, it's all the parts of this mixtape I love brought together in one installment. Hope you enjoy!**_

 _I am such a fucking idiot,_ Killian said to himself for the hundredth time in the past sixty minutes. Because here he was, sitting in a corner booth at the bar in this small town of Storybrooke Maine, clutching at the glass in his hand so tight it might just break.

She'd come to him asking for a fling. Emma Swan, the woman he'd been in love with for more than a year, had propositioned him for casual sex and what had he done? He'd turned her down, not because there was anything in this world he would rather do than make love to her, but because he couldn't have only a part of her. Emma was the best woman in the entire world, the one who had his heart firmly in the palm of her hand, but he wanted forever. Having just a taste of her would destroy him.

The fact of the matter though, was that saying no, and now living through the fall out, hurt just as badly. Everywhere he went in town he was still looking for her, hoping for a flash of blonde hair and that red leather jacket she always wore. He'd passed the gas station, the grocery store, hell he'd even driven past her house just to see if her car was in the driveway and to make sure she was okay. She'd left him so upset earlier, anger and hurt and regret painted all over her face, he just wanted her to be alright. More than that he wanted Emma to be happy and safe and content in her life. She deserved it, more than any other person Killian knew.

The saddest part of all of this though, was that even if she hated him forever, Killian still wanted to see her. Anger and all, she was the best part of his day every day, the breath of fresh air he needed always, and the dream of what a perfect partner looked like. He also knew that the moment he did see her again would be like a shot to the heart. Her rejection of them being more than a casual hookup was worse than any former breakups he'd ever gone through, and it was because he loved Emma. There it was – he loved her, and she just didn't feel the same.

Gods why couldn't she just want him back? Why didn't she feel this same all-consuming pull that he did? At least then they'd be wading through this mire of emotions together, instead of Killian trying to navigate alone and flailing about like an idiot.

"Well you look miserable," Killian's best mate David sat across from him in the booth, but Killian didn't give him more than a brief glance. Strung out as he was on emotion, he knew one look was enough for David to see a problem. "So… what? She reacted badly when you told her you love her?"

"I didn't tell her," Killian grumbled.

"What was that?" David asked, truly having not heard him. Killian straightened up in the seat, looking back to David.

"I said I didn't tell her." David's brow furrowed in confusion.

"But I just heard from Mary Margaret… Jesus Killian, what happened?" Killian's jaw ticked at the line of questioning, but if anyone could give him insight it was David's fiancé Mary Margaret, one of Emma's best friends.

"She told me she wanted a fling, Dave. I need more than that, she's already everything to me. The thought of us being together and then it ending?! Bloody Hell it would destroy me!" Killian's voice raised and a couple of people scattered throughout the bar looked his way. From the way they all then diverted their eyes quickly, Killian would suppose he looked as badly as he felt.

"Did you tell her that?" Killian shook his head.

"No, I told her-," and then it hit him: in his headstrong denial of a fling being possible, he'd protected himself instead of telling her the whole truth. It occurred to Killian that maybe, just maybe, he'd massively fucked up by doing that. Before he could make sense of that though, the woman in question walked in and stole his breath away.

Emma had left him an hour before and in that time, she'd gone from looking lovely in jeans and a shirt to…well there was no way to put it but to say she was a siren, calling to him as no other woman possibly could. Wearing a red dress and heels intended to kill, her long hair curled just the slightest bit as it hung around her shoulders, Killian had never seen Emma done up quite like this. She was always effortlessly beautiful, but this was a deliberate statement that she was sexy as hell and not to be ignored. It took everything in Killian to keep his jaw from hitting the floor, and as she scanned the room, he knew she saw him, only to dismiss him like he wasn't even there and head for the bar.

"Oh man she is pissed at you," David said, in what might have been the most irritating tone Killian had ever heard. The statement was obvious and completely unhelpful, but Dave almost sounded giddy over it.

"Fuck off," David stood up and grinned, throwing his jacket back on.

"This is a good thing man. Her being pissed means she cares, and here you were thinking she didn't like you back." Well that was a thought indeed, one that made Killian feel a little less tense, until of course he flicked his glance back to Emma and saw her saddled up to Walsh, one of the most ridiculous men in town and he felt a shudder run through him.

 _Over my dead body_! Killian thought, stalking up to them. He approached from behind Emma, and when Walsh made eye contact, Killian saw the man visibly flinch.

"Ahem, can I help you?" The man asked, doing a terrible job of hiding his fear. At least he wasn't a complete moron, because Killian right now was not someone to mess with. He was seeing red, and it wasn't all thanks to Emma's choice in dress.

"Yeah, you can get lost." Walsh looked at Emma, which only had Killian growling. "Eyes on me, mate. Now put the money on the table and move along." Walsh did as he was told and Killian noticed a shiver run through Emma, and watched her lick her lips, though when she saw him take notice, she pressed her lips together in a straight line, trying to hide her reactions from him.

"Well that wasn't very neighborly of you." Part of him wanted to laugh at her assessment. His Swan was a witty one, with an ever-present penchant for sarcasm.

"I'm not feeling exceptionally neighborly today." Emma rolled her eyes.

"Yeah I noticed." She looked away from him but Killian turned her towards him, tipping her chin up to look into his eyes.

"I messed up." Emma's beautiful green eyes widened at his blunt declaration.

"Is that right? I was thinking maybe you saved me from making a huge mistake." Killian ran a hand through his hair as his other extended to her, in the hopes she'd give him hers.

"Give me the chance to explain love. Five minutes in private, and if you still feel the same, I'll leave you alone. I promise." Emma seemed about to say something, but bit her tongue and nodded, rising up to stand. He led her from the bar, outside into the early evening and went for full honesty right from the get-go.

"I can't have a fling with you, Emma." Emma shifted uncomfortably, but fired back at him in a self-assured tone.

"I got that part, Killian. No need to keep telling me." Killian stepped towards her, both of his hands on her arms. His brain took a second to react to how soft she felt, and how his hands felt on fire just from simply touching her. It was like his whole body came alive after years of hibernation.

"I can't have a fling with you because I need more. You mean more to me than one night, love. I look at you… I look at you and I think about forever." Emma let out a small gasp at that.

"So it's not that you don't want me?" Killian grimaced at the thought that she'd ever even think that. He often believed his liking for her so obvious it was undeniable, but apparently he'd been wrong.

"It's that I want you too much. I love you, Emma. I think I always have, and when you came to me today, looking just as gorgeous as you always are asking me for casual, I panicked. I didn't think I could survive having you just once and walking away." Emma looked down, breaking their eye contact and causing a pang of longing to see those eyes again to form in Killian's chest.

"But you still walked away. You left." Killian took another step closer, nearly all the space between them evaporating as he did. Her tiny whisper gutted him, and he had to make it right somehow.

"Aye, love, and it was a mistake. Seeing you in there with another man, I realized that what I want doesn't matter. I would give anything to be yours, Emma, but you're in control here. You own me, and if it's one night and that's all we have, so be it." A beat passed between them, but it felt like a year, and then finally she smiled.

"Actually I kind of liked that forever idea of yours." That was it, all she needed to say for full hope to be restored and light to return to his world again. It was only made better when Emma pulled him in by the collar of his jacket and kissed him, cementing the connection between them and the chemistry that had been building since their first meeting. It was effortless in its beauty, and Killian felt healed and also completely engulfed by the passion and desire the kiss evoked. When Emma pulled away though, he never could have anticipated what she said next.

"I love you too. I thought that maybe if I pitched it as a fling, you'd see what I've been feeling for months and it would grow from there – I didn't realize you already felt the same." Killian felt his heart beat wildly at the claim and his arms wrapped around her tight, never wanting to let Emma go.

"So we both had our hearts broken for nothing at all," Emma laughed, but Killian saw tears welling in her eyes. He could see they were happy, a product of all the pent up emotion now needing to be set free, but he wiped away the one that fell onto her cheek gently.

"I think we can recover," she whispered, her hands coming to clutch at his shirt. "But only if we don't make that mistake again. Leaving apparently only makes us more miserable."

"I've no intentions of ever leaving you again, Swan." Emma smiled, kissing him again and then pulling back, licking her own lips and causing Killian to growl at the action.

"So now that we both understand it's not a one time thing… are you going to make me wait, or…" Killian grinned, more than amiable to the idea of getting Emma home and in his bed once and for all.

"I think our wait is over, love."

…

 _How did I go from heartbreak to nearly hyperventilating from pleasure this quickly?_ Emma wondered to herself once Killian closed his front door behind them. He pressed her against the hard wood, kissing her with a dizzying mixture of rough and gentle motions while his hands traced all over her body.

She'd truly thought he didn't want her, and to say that she felt crushed at that possibility was an understatement. So long Emma had been waiting, hoping, praying for him to make a move, and when month after month went by, she realized that maybe, despite her feelings, Killian didn't feel the same way. She'd seen his appreciative glances before, she knew on some level he must find her attractive if the way his eyes lingered on her was any indication, and so she'd hatched a plan – tempt him with no strings and pray that things stuck from there.

Emma couldn't even bare to think back at the interaction. She'd been absolutely mortified when he said no, not just because of his rejection, but the look in his eyes when he'd done it, as if the whole idea was abhorrent to him. Now she understood it wasn't her that made him react that way, but his overwhelming need for her. She'd put this dress on almost out of revenge, knowing she looked fantastic in it, and wanting him to see what he would be missing. Her pride was hurt, but that first moment in the bar when he'd seen her she knew she'd succeeded. She only allowed herself a brief glance at him, but she could practically feel his tension across the room, and then when he'd come over to chase Walsh away, she couldn't help but feel victorious.

But jealousy and truly caring for her were two different things, and Emma never dreamed when she stepped into that bar tonight that he'd be confessing his feelings for her ran deeper than that of a friend. Knowing he loved her too and that he wanted more added gasoline to the fire his touch ignited, and soon all comprehensible thought flew from her mind. All she could see and feel and think was Killian.

"I've been dreaming of this for far too long, love." Emma arched closer to him, feeling the scratch of his beard as he moved to kiss her neck. It was completely erotic and she felt caught under his spell while part of her also needed some control. Her fingers held him close, her hips grinding against him until he growled and she smiled. God did she love that sound, and she loved that she affected him this way. She could feel his arousal, and knew where this was going, but impatience clawed at her.

"Were you planning to take me right here?" She asked, completely fine with the idea, as long as it led to him inside her, actualizing month's worth of fantasies, but he shook his head.

"Not tonight love. Tonight I need you in my bed." Before Emma could even respond, Killian swept her up in his arms, making record time across his apartment and into his bedroom. Emma stood transfixed as he brought her back to her feet and traced the curves of her dress. Without a word she turned around, exposing the zipper as she moved her hair to the side. Killian kissed her shoulder and inched the zipper down slow enough to drive her crazy before the garment fell away and pooled at her feet. Killian's fingers gripped at her skin, and she heard a hiss of approval at what she'd decided to wear underneath tonight.

"Tell me this was for me, love." Emma grinned turning around in his embrace, loving his response to the black lace she'd been wearing underneath.

"Actually it was for _me_. But I did want you to see all that you were missing." Emma didn't expect the soft caress of his hand against her cheek, or the way his blue eyes seemed to see so far past the walls she'd had up all these years.

"I've always seen you love. This dress is a means of torture on my power of will surely, but you're always beautiful to me." Emma blushed at the compliment, not used to such sincerity. Usually she found guys had ulterior motives when they said things like this, but Killian was so honest, she wondered how she could have overlooked his feelings all this time. Now they felt so clearly spelled out across his face, she couldn't miss it.

Greedily, her hands moved to get him undressed too, and her mouth watered as each bit of him was exposed. He let her have her way with him, and watched his own shivers of need as she ran her fingers across his bare chest and abs, down to unbutton his jeans. So many scenarios played in her mind, and she felt famished for him, as if she'd perish without addressing the lust and love coursing between them. Soon enough though, when he was completely naked Killian's hands took control again, moving her towards the bed.

"This will be over far sooner than either of us would like if you keep touching me like that, love." Emma moaned a bit as his hands came to unclasp her bra, setting her breasts free to the chill in the air around them. His eyes darkened, and he looked like he might devour her, but there was something else there too, an air of reverence, like he wanted nothing more than to worship her.

Emma had never known a connection like this before, it felt so right, and yet slightly terrifying at the same time, but his mouth and his attentions to every part of her had those thoughts flying away. Soon all she could do was moan and plead for more, which he was only too happy to give her.

" _Killian_!" She hardly recognized her voice right now, it was so taught with need, but Killian hummed in approval as he kissed down her body, coming to stare at the last bit of material between them.

"Yes, love?" He asked, tearing the bit of fabric from her. Emma's eyes widened. That was… _really_ hot actually. Emma's train of thought was completely compromised by the feel of his hands on her thighs, pushing her legs wider apart for him to see. He kissed the inside of her thigh and she jumped, but then he pulled back. "You were saying something."

Emma groaned, simultaneously loving this cocky edge he had and frustrated that he wasn't just taking her already. Certainly they'd waited long enough at this point, she couldn't understand why he was hesitating, but at the same time the anticipation was the sweetest form of torment.

"I need you." That was it, those three words were all it took to take Killian from slow and languid to hungry and demanding, and Emma was the one to benefit from it. He was better than every dirty thought, every wild imagining, bringing her the most fulfilling pleasure and to the most earth-shattering release she'd ever felt with is mouth, just to kiss his way back up her, whispering words of affection and love. Every promise and statement put her back together from the mind-numbing climax she'd just had thanks to him.

"I love you, Emma." He said, kissing her as one of his hands ran through her hair. Emma could taste herself on him, and feel his whole hard body pressed against her.

"I love you, too." With that he plunged inside her, filling her so completely and dazzling her senses with how right this felt. Every fairytale she'd mocked, every sarcastic cast off she'd shot to ideas of perfect matches and soul mates was gone now, because this was more than love. This felt like a union in the most profound sense. She couldn't tell where she ended and Killian began, and she didn't care. They were in this together, and that was so incredibly blissful, she couldn't help but tumble over into ecstasy again. This time Killian followed her, holding her in his arms as they both came down from their incredible high, his fingertips still tracing random patterns on her skin.

"I don't think any man has a right to feel this happy, Emma. You've given me that." Melting at his words, Emma kissed his chest lightly, before snuggling closer to him, feeling nothing but safe, and warm, and totally and completely loved.

"You make me happy too," and the truth was he always would.

From there on out, both Emma and Killian enjoyed that overwhelming comfort that comes with finding the right person to walk through life with. No longer saddled with wondering where the other stood, or fighting what they truly felt, Emma and Killian found peace in each other and in accepting what they meant to one another. It was beautiful and breathtaking, and glorious, and in the end the best thing that either of them ever knew.

….

 _I knew I'd see her around  
I'd be at some party, she'd show up and I'd be walking out  
Or across some parking lot hiding behind her sister  
I'd look up, she'd be at the red light beside me  
In that white Maxima with the sticker on the back  
I'd act like I didn't see her  
We'd pay at the same pumps  
Flip through the same stations  
And slow down for the same curves  
Run around with the same crowds  
We just needed some time  
She could get on with her life and I'd get on with mine  
Thought I would be fine, heh, but maybe not  
I knew she'd find a way to get over me  
But I'd never thought that_

 _She would get down with somebody I know  
I guess that's just how it goes  
When you break up in a small town  
I see our friends and they put on a show  
Like they don't want me to know  
So they give me the go-around_

 _But there's only so many streets, so many lights  
I swear it's like I can't even leave my house  
I should've known all along  
You gotta move or move on  
When you break up in a small town_

 _For a while I guess they were keeping it low-key  
But now it's like these county lines closing in on me  
I see 'em everywhere together  
And it's hitting a little too close to home  
She's so far gone, but she didn't go far  
She was over me before the grass grew back where she used to park her car  
She's leaving those same marks in someone else's yard  
In someone else's arms right down the road  
And I never thought that_

 _She would get down with somebody I know  
I guess that's just how it goes  
When you break up in a small town  
I see our friends and they put on a show  
Like they don't want me to know  
So they give me the go-around_

 _But there's only so many streets, so many lights  
I swear it's like I can't even leave my house  
I should've known all along  
You gotta move or move on  
When you break up in a small town_

 _Your mailbox is seven minutes from mine  
And I drive into town sometimes and I see you sittin' there with him  
And I wanna jump out  
I wanna fight  
I wanna say, "Fuck that guy!" but I can't  
'Cause it's my fault, I let her go  
I never thought that_

 _She would get down with somebody I know  
I guess that's just how it goes  
When you break up in a small town  
I see our friends and they put on a show  
Like they don't want me to know  
So they give me the go-around_

 _But there's only so many streets, so many lights  
I swear it's like I can't even leave my house  
I should've known all along  
You gotta move or move on  
When you break up in a small town_

 _ **Post-Note: So like I said, this is my most requested song for the mixtape ever. It's a great song for sure, and this had been a joy to write, it's just kind of funny because the song doesn't end up happily, so for people to want it in the mixtape so badly came as a shock. That being said, I hope you all like my interpretation, and remember I am always taking prompts for this series and other stories! I hope you have a great Friday and a lovely weekend!**_


	85. Halo

_**A/N: Short little post 5-B fic where Emma has heard her family call her the savior once too many times this week, and is angry that everyone always expects so much from her. Expect an angry outburst but a quick reconciliation and ever present fluff. Inspired by Haley James Scott's 'Halo' so yes, I am fulfilling a personal dream and crossing the worlds of One Tree Hill and Once Upon a Time in a little way. In case any of you were looking for a snap shot into my middle school psyche, this song was heavily present. Hope you enjoy!**_

Crazy – that's what they were, really, truly, certifiably nuts. Emma was staring at the proof of her parents' insanity, and it came in their unwavering faith that things would all work out. It made Emma want to pull her hair out. True love or not, she would never be the person blindly believing that good always won. ' _Good'_ needed a damn clue as to how to go about winning before it did, and right now they were in the dark.

"Emma, now don't get upset." That was it. Her Mom's qualifying statement, as if Emma was the one with the problem. It was too much.

"Don't get upset?! You realize that's like one step removed from saying 'calm down' right?!" Snow blanched at the outburst, but Emma didn't really care. Someone needed to get it through her parents' heads that they needed to be serious. "We are currently under attack from a coalition of bad guys we neither know, nor understand. So why do you look like everything is completely fine?"

"Because we have you, Emma." Her father's words caused a sinking feeling in her gut. Of course that was their thinking – they had Emma, the savior, to defend and protect them.

"Oh right, your _savior_. The leader of heroes. Well what if I don't win? Did you ever think of that? Or about the fact that every time I start to taste normalcy, it gets ripped away before I can fully understand it?!" Her parents exchanged a look before giving her something she couldn't stomach – pity.

"We know it's a lot, Emma. It's too much to ask, but this is our life. We need to have -,"

"I swear if the word hope comes out of your mouth." Emma felt Killian's hand on her arm and she stilled, letting his presence reassure her.

"I think we need some time." Killian's words gave her parents relief, and they turned around, walking out of the station, leaving Emma and Killian alone. When Emma looked up at him, her heart nearly broke at the kind softness of his features. All that shone in his blue eyes was love and patience, and while she craved it, her emotions ran too high to just let go of them. Fear, anger, hope, and doubt: it all boiled together, needing an outlet. She started moving about the room, her hands on her hips.

"They're being ridiculous, thinking it'll all just blow over." Emma ground out angrily.

"Aye, love." Emma kept pacing around.

"And somehow it's all going to fall to me like it always does, which means you'll be saddled with this headache alongside me." Killian took a step forward, but didn't crowd her.

"That will likely be the case, yes." Emma felt her anger fading in the face of his responses. At least she had some validation on the matter. He took another step forward.

"We were happy like two hours ago. Everything was going great and now here we are again, fighting away evil, just for another handful of moments." That reality of her life hurt the most. Finally she had true love, a man she knew she could trust and be with forever, and she just wanted the happy ending now. She wanted more than living together. Emma wanted a wedding and maybe some more kids, and definitely lazy Sundays, and long stretches with absolutely no bad guys. Times like these though, made all of that seem like some farfetched dream instead of the certainty everyone else seemed to think it was.

"It's a vexing cycle to be sure, Swan." She looked back over at Killian, trying to understand how he could be so disarming and sweet even when she was bumbling around like this. He never resented these outbursts, never pressured her to put on a brave face or fake it for the sake of everyone else. Killian just stood there, by her side, unwavering in his desire to see her safe and happy.

"Are you just gong to agree with me on everything forever?" Emma could feel the tension leaving her body as she said the words. A bit of teasing even managed to cut through the worry and anger of before.

"No love, we have disagreements enough between us. Think of that ghastly film you made us watch on the Netflix last night. You said it was brilliant, when it was nothing of the sort." Emma couldn't help but laugh at that, and she welcomed his closing of the remaining space between them. His arms came to hug her, pulling all her scattered thoughts and feelings back together and making her whole in the process.

"They look at me like I'm the savior." Killian kissed her forehead, which prompted Emma to close her eyes.

"And all you want is for them to see you as Emma." She could think of very few things she wanted more. Life with titles and labels felt so confining, and being the savior meant she couldn't just be herself. 

"Yes." The words were a whisper, but she knew he heard her, and could feel his hand rubbing her back lightly through the cotton of her shirt, the action soothing and calming all at once. "How do you do it?" Emma asked pulling back to look at him.

"Do what, love?" She ran her hand along his jaw, and felt him lean into her touch slightly.

"Look at me like that and still see me." Killian smiled, one side of his mouth curling up slightly higher than the other.

"And how do I look at you, my love?" Emma felt a happy shiver move through her at the endearment that he'd been using since Zeus brought him back. Every time he said it was a reminder that they found each other and were together once more.

"Like I wear a halo or something." Killian's hand came up to brush a strand of her hair back behind her ear. She felt the faintest touch of his fingertips, but it sparked need and love both equally in her.

"Because to me you do, love. Your goodness just has very little to do with being the savior to me. It's in how you feel everything so fully but you fight tooth and nail to be strong. It's how you wear your armor, but still you've let me through to see the woman underneath. It's in the love you have for your son, and your parents." Emma savored his words, because they made her seem so capable even when she currently felt so out of control. She did notice though that he'd failed to include himself in that last part, and he deserved to be listed with the people who she would give anything to save and protect.

"And you." Killian kissed her lips lightly before pulling back.

"Aye love, and me. You are a miracle to me, Emma, because you showed me life is about more than surviving. It's about living." Emma closed her eyes at that. He took the words right out of her head before she'd even muddled through them herself. That was the whole point of contention for her in all of this – fighting to stay alive all the time took away the precious moments they had to live a life together for real. It terrified her to think that life might pass her by without enough moments especially with Killian.

"Exactly." This understanding between them, the one between a pirate turned hero and a lost girl turned savior, might seem strange from the outside, but to Emma it made more sense than anything in the world. They'd lived such different lives, in completely different realms, but at the end of the day, they'd known pain and solitude and understood that sometimes the world wasn't a fairytale. It made the happiness between them all the more valuable.

"Surviving is a lonely road, Swan. I know that better than most. Couple that with the pedestal everyone puts you on, and it's enough to drive anyone to anger."

"I don't feel angry anymore." Emma said, opening her eyes back up to look at him, her hands placed gently on his chest, feeling the continuous beating of his heart.

"You don't?" She shook her head, pulling him closer.

"No. I've got you and your magical ability to make it all better." Killian smiled at that, looking so genuinely happy to have helped her that Emma couldn't resist pulling him down by his collar and kissing him deeply. The world was spinning on around them in continued chaos, but Emma didn't care in the slightest. If her life was all a collection of moments, she was taking this one now, and ridding herself of all the remaining toxicity of being the savior. It worked of course, just as all of her moments with Killian healed her in some way or another.

" _Ahem_." Emma pulled back, knowing the sound came from her father before even looking towards him. Her eyes never strayed from Killian's though and his hand ran over her cheek.

"Better, love?" Emma nodded.

"Much better." And she was, for she knew that even if stress and strain was coming, even tough darkness knocked at their door once more, she had Killian. Together they would conquer this and anything else that came their way, just so they too could have that all too desirable chance at a happy ending.

…..

 _I never promised you a ray of light  
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday  
I give you everything I have, the good, the bad_

 _Why do you put me on a pedestal  
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below  
So help me down you've got it wrong  
I don't belong there_

 _One thing is clear, I wear a halo  
I wear a halo when you look at me  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you  
Oh, oh I, I just wanna love you_

 _I always said that I would make mistakes  
I'm only human and that's my saving grace  
I fall as hard as I try, so don't be blinded_

 _See me as I really am, I have flaws  
And sometimes I even sin  
So pull me from that pedestal  
I don't belong there_

 _One thing is clear, I wear a halo  
I wear a halo when you look at me  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you  
Oh, oh I, I just wanna love you_

 _Why you think that you know me  
But in your eyes I am something above you  
It's only in your mind, only in your mind  
I wear a, I wear a, I wear a halo_

 _One thing is clear, I wear a halo  
I wear a halo when you look at me  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you  
Oh, oh I, I just wanna love you_

 _Haa ha ha, halo  
Haa ha ha, halo  
Haa ha ha, halo_

 _Haa ha ha, halo  
Haa ha ha, halo  
Haa ha ha, halo_

 _Haa ha ha, halo  
Haa ha ha, halo  
Haa ha ha, halo_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a short little moment where Emma gets to go through some savior-related angst, and Killian helps her through it. I love writing little fics like this because I just hope we get more scenes like this in season 6. I will also be posting another chapter of one of my multi-chapters tonight, but this little bit of cuteness just needed writing today. Thanks for reading!**_


	86. Slow Me Down

_**A/N: Future CS (aka married with more kids) moment where things in Storybrooke have been off for a while. Emma's been searching for a potential threat to the town, but in the end the cause is of a very different nature. Follows the Jones/Swan family for one morning of cuteness and fluff. Inspired by 'Slow Me Down' by Emmy Rossum.**_

Waking up to the stream of sunlight through her curtains one Monday morning, Emma couldn't help but let out a groan at the earliness of the hour. She'd barely gotten any sleep thanks to her late night researching at the library with Belle. Something was clearly going on in this town, something out of the common way, but Emma couldn't find an explanation for it. She had been searching for answers for weeks but strange things continued to happen day in and day out.

Most recently Storybrooke had suffered from some unexplained blackouts and bizarrely variant weather patterns. In the span of one week they'd had a heat wave that then shifted to a cold front so substantial it brought more than an inch of hail, just to end the week with a day so blustery most people stayed inside for fear of the wind. According to the national weather service, no other areas were affected by the strange outbursts, but there was no physical sign of a new source of evil or malice threatening the town.

Emma wasn't taking any chances though. She needed to keep her family and all of Storybrooke safe, and she could only do that with information. For the past few weeks she'd followed a number of leads, working with Regina to assess the town's magical barriers, and her parents to scout through the woods and check for more problems, but nothing seemed to be wrong. Everyone doubted that it was anything other than some pulsating magic courtesy of Storybrooke's other worldly connections, but Emma remained unconvinced, so she continued on, stressing out more and more in the hope that eventually her searching would bring her answers.

She'd come home with very few solutions last night, and a whole new list of questions which made her restless, but as soon as Emma climbed into bed beside Killian, his warm embrace had been exactly what she needed to lull her into glorious, dreamless sleep. He always seemed to be the calm she needed, and if Emma had to guess, it was his absence now that stirred her from her slumber. He was scheduled for the early rounds at the station this morning, but Emma was sorry to miss him. She hated mornings that started without Killian beside her.

Glancing over at the bedside clock, Emma did a double take. It was nearly seven thirty, which meant the kids all needed to be moving and getting ready to greet the day. Hope had a science presentation in front of her class, Leia had a play date with her friend Sarah right after school, and Liam had his first day of swimming lessons this afternoon. There were lunches to be made, and bags to be packed, and Emma was extremely behind on all of it.

Jumping up from bed, she threw on some clothes quickly, hastily brushed her teeth and put her hair up in a ponytail, before racing over the kids' bedrooms, only to find them empty, with the beds already made and the little bit of mess from yesterday tidied up. This might just have been the strangest twist of everything going on in town right now.

Moving down the stairwell, Emma didn't know what she expected, but it wasn't the near silence she found. Creeping through the downstairs, she made her way to the kitchen to see all three of their kids who still lived primarily at home (Henry was now away at college) sitting at the island patiently waiting.

"I'm sorry guys, I can't believe I overslept." The kids all looked up at Emma curiously. "What do you guys want for breakfast? I don't think I have time for pancakes, but we've got cereal, bagels -,"

"Mom we already ate." Emma looked back over at the kids, confused.

"You ate already? But the kitchen doesn't look like a bomb went off." All three kids rolled their eyes at her, and Emma bit her lip to hide a smile. Yeah these were definitely her children.

"We aren't animals, Mom," Hope said sounding very matter of fact, in that way eight year olds tended to.

"Right of course. Animals don't have science reports on earthworms due today." Emma searched through the 'homework corner' where they kept all the kids' work so as not to lose it, but couldn't find the poster in question. Her anxiety spiked at the thought that she had misplaced the assignment and her daughter would suffer for it. Then Emma realized that none of the things they needed today were here, not Liam's swimming permission slip, or Leia's note to be picked up by Sarah's mom. Emma began to panic.

"Mommy what are you looking for?" Emma turned to Liam.

"Did you guys move things around over here?" Her kids looked at her blankly before all three pointed towards the other end of the kitchen. There, lined up perfectly, were their three backpacks all packed and ready for school. "But how did you…?"

"How did they what, love?" Emma looked at Killian standing in the doorway and lost her train of thought. He wasn't supposed to be here, was he? Monday meant he was at the station, and yet here he was, keeping their kids in order when she'd clearly dropped the ball. In seconds he was beside her, pulling her in his arms and dropping a kiss to her forehead. "Kids, why don't you all come say good bye to your mother. The bus will be here any minute."

Hope, Leia, and Liam came over to give Emma a hug and a kiss before running to grab their backpacks and heading out the door. They had perfect timing, for Emma could see the bus pull up and then depart outside through the window, whisking their kids off to their own adventures for the day. Emma, meanwhile, still stood there in shock. How had all of this happened? What was she missing here? Killian chuckled and she could feel the reverberations of it since he was holding her.

"I don't get it," Emma said bluntly and Killian grinned.

"I manned the ship for a morning, love. Shocking I know." Emma shook her head, because that definitely was not the surprising factor. Their children adored Killian and always responded well to him.

"No it's not that, I just thought… you weren't supposed to be here." Killian hugged her a little tighter at that.

"There is nowhere else I'm meant to be other than at your side, love." Emma marveled at the fact that after ten years her husband could still be this thoughtful and considerate. Killian was the best father and an incredible man, her rock always, and she should have guessed that he would be there when she needed him. Emma just never wanted to take him for granted, even after everything they'd been through.

"So if we both have the day off…" A million thoughts ran through Emma's mind, and in an instant all of the fatigue she'd been suffering from was gone. Now she just wanted to relish the time she and Killian had alone. Her fingertips moved across his chest, feeling him through the thin cotton of his t-shirt and she could feel the mutual desire between them blooming. This was another part of their relationship that definitely hadn't dulled since they said _'I do.'_

"I rather like the way you think, Swan." Killian's head bent down, their lips crashing together. Emma's hands went to his hair tugging slightly as Killian pulled her flush against him. They spiraled into passion so quickly it took Emma's breath away but then Killian moved away from her before she was ready. "Emma love, I think you'll want to take a look around."

Emma did as he asked, only to find that everything not bolted down in the kitchen was now hovering around as if no longer bound by gravity. The whole room was dripping in magic, and there was no denying the abnormality of it all, and then Emma and Killian realized what it meant at the same time.

"This hasn't happened since -," Emma filled in the rest of Killian's thought.

"Since I was pregnant with Liam, I know." A rush of understanding coursed through her. All of the changes and outbursts of magical influx occurred with her in the general vicinity, and even the strange weather had all hit when Emma had been outside at first. This had happened before three other times, but never this severely.

Instinctively, Emma's hand came over her stomach and just the gentle touch had the light in the room growing brighter. She'd been so consumed with the peculiar changes in town she hadn't stopped to think of the other signs that came to signal she might be pregnant, instead attributing them all to stress. Now she thought back on all of them and how silly she was to have missed this for as long as she had. Thinking about it now, Emma was probably already three or four months along.

"So all of the unexplainable occurrences around town now have their reason." Emma nodded as Killian's hand came to cover hers. She could hear the gentle love in his voice, and the bit of awe that came every time she found out they were expecting. If Killian had his way, they'd probably have a dozen kids running around, but Emma always thought they'd be done at four. Still now that she knew she was pregnant, she couldn't help the bubbling of joy that came at the thought of another baby.

"You know this kid's going to be hell on wheels right? I mean this kind of magic this early?" Killian grinned, kissing Emma again. He loved that their three youngest children took after Emma with their magical affinities. It was a great source of pride for him and for their oldest brother Henry too.

"It's nothing we can't handle together, love." Emma felt tears well in her eyes, the happiness of the moment really truly hitting her as Killian's hand came to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears that slipped down. "Though I will warn you Emma, with magic like this I'll be even more hell bent on keeping you relaxed and safe. You're in serious need of a slower pace, love."

"I think you're probably right about that." For everyone's well being, and for Emma's own sanity, they'd need to address the next few months with a very different mindset than the past few weeks. That meant fewer hours at the station for both her and Killian, and a conversation with the kids about everything to come. Henry, Hope, and Leia were old pros by now, but Liam would have a little bit to learn, the youngest one always did.

Of course they managed, thanks mostly to Killian's tireless work and uncanny ability to sense rising stress even of a marginal kind in his wife. Any time Emma took on too much Killian was there to shoulder the burdens and responsibilities with her. They were a team, and Emma was happy for it. She trusted him enough to take the lead and keep the family going. It worked well in the end, and though the bursts of unexpected magic still came, they were far more pleasant and far less dangerous than before.

At the end of the road the magic manifested into a beautiful baby boy with the goodness and bravery of his mother and the charm and determination of his father. He was the final member of the Jones clan, a happy band of heroes, and a blessing his parents were more than grateful for. And though stress and danger would come calling more than once again, Killian continued his quest to slow Emma down when her mind raced or her head worried. For he was the protector of her heart, just as she was the protector of his.

…

 _Just slow me, slow me down  
Slow me down, slow me down_

 _Rushing and racing, and running in circles  
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose  
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning, getting nowhere_

 _My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic  
Pace of the world, I just wish I could stop it  
Try to appear like I've got it together, I'm falling apart_

 _Save me, somebody take my hand and lead me  
Slow me down, don't let love pass me by  
Just show me how 'cause I'm ready to fall_

 _Slow me down, don't let me live a lie  
Before my life flies by  
I need you to slow me down_

 _Sometimes I fear that I might disappear  
In the blur of fast forward I falter again  
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep, I'm getting nowhere_

 _All that I've missed I see in the reflection  
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention  
Tired of rushing, racing and running, I'm falling apart_

 _Tell me, oh, won't you take my hand and lead me?  
Slow me down, don't let love pass me by  
Just show me how 'cause I'm ready to fall_

 _Slow me down, don't let me live a lie  
Before my life flies by  
I need you to slow me down_

 _Just show me, I need you to slow me down  
Slow me down, slow me down_

 _The noise of the world is getting me caught up  
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it  
Just need to breathe, somebody please slow me down!_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it. Just another little installment of married CS fluff including kids and a new pregnancy and all those good things. It felt much needed as we reach the midpoint of this week. I don't know about all of you, but I am pretty much dying from the summer heat. Don't get me wrong, I love the excuse to have ice cream every day and sit inside with the air conditioning writing during my free time, but still it's a lot. For those of you living in milder climates, I truly envy you. Anyway, hope you all have a lovely week, and thanks for reading!**_


	87. Kiss From A Rose

_**A/N: This chapter is a scene rewrite from the part in episode 5x15 where Emma and Killian kiss and Killian thanks Emma for saving him. I have made this scene longer, and insinuated there may be a different way out of the Underworld than the one they all used. Prompted by a reader who wanted the song 'Kiss From a Rose' by Seal. Just a musical side note – one of the contestants on The Voice last season named Bryan Bautista also does a fantastic cover of this song. Anyway, hope you all enjoy and have a lovely Thursday!**_

With each step Killian took towards finding Emma, the heavy burden and pangs of loss that came with saying goodbye to his brother lessened. He would always miss Liam, of that there could be no doubt, but what he'd said in the cavern was true – Killian had unfinished business and it lay with the woman he'd lived and breathed for, the woman who still owned all of his heart. He must see Emma and her family safe, but more than that, he wanted to believe that there was a chance he might get to be a part of her future too.

Even now, despite his hesitations and his doubt only hours before, Emma was the light, just as she had been from their first meeting. Killian had been a completely different man then who was too blinded by revenge to see the possibilities life still held for him. He'd been little more than a shell lacking basic humanity after years of looking at the world as a thing to endure and survive, not for the chance of happiness, but to serve a kind of penance. Slowly Emma drew him from that shadowy place, casting light on the darker parts of his person while endearing him to her so resolutely it bordered on addiction. Loving her, even before his love was requited, had been his anchor making it possible for Killian to be the hero Liam praised him as only moments ago.

Despite their confinement in the Underworld, a place consumed with nothing but decay and stagnation, Emma still felt like the sun, warming him through with her hope and her goodness. She made the impossible real, and for a moment Killian swore he felt his heart beat in anticipation as he moved through the house looking for her. He finally located her just a second before she saw him but in that moment he admitted to himself the truth – worthy or not Killian wanted forever with Emma, and he would fight for it from this point forward. He would strive to make her happy and together they would find a way to make this work and to have the future he'd only recently dared to dream was possible.

"Hook, where the hell have you been? First you and Liam left, then Henry ran off somewhere." Emma's voice held traces of the emotions Killian knew must be plaguing her, and his leaving earlier despite her lack of mentioning it, had only injured her further. Emma's use of his more colorful moniker told him some of the guards around her heart had been lifted into place once more, and it hurt him to think she doubted because of things he'd done and said. ' _Hook'_ made him feel like the villain again, when he wanted to be the man Emma had grown to love. He sought a way to get back there now and to ease the burdens he'd created. Moving forward a step, Killian looked at her with earnestness.

"I'm sorry Emma. You were right about Liam. He destroyed those pages because of a deal he made with Hades years ago – a deal that almost got us thrown into that boiling sea."

"Are you okay?! Where is he?" Her concern, even after everything, from Liam's mistreatment of her to Killian's own reluctance, touched him. It also made this all harder to say. She'd been so remarkable through everything and here he was trying to work his way back to her side after pushing her away since their reunion.

"He uh, sacrificed himself, but his sacrifice helped a crew we once sailed with. They finally moved on thanks to him."

"Did he move on too?" Emma asked, genuinely curious.

"He did…" Emma seemed glad for it, not in a malicious way, but because even if they hadn't gotten along very well, Liam mattered to Killian, and Killian mattered to her. "But he helped me see the truth before he went. I'm glad you came down here Emma. Perhaps I do deserve saving after all." 

Pure, unadulterated hope lit up her beautiful green eyes, and the tired lines that had marred her face since coming down here eased away. She looked happy at the revelation, and Killian felt empowered for having given her that. Emma deserved every good thing in all the realms, through all time and space, but this was what he could give her now, and he hoped it was enough. She stepped forward, her tone completely changed when she spoke again, sounding lighter and yet somehow more rounded at the same time.

"So does that mean when this is all over that you're planning to come home?" Killian's lips turned up in a half smile of his own, because the thought sounded so damn desirable, and yet home to him was anywhere Emma was, even this blasted place.

"Yes. Everything Liam did was to ensure that I had a future, and I damn well intend to have one." With that he pulled her into his arms, kissing her the way he'd been wanting to since he'd open his eyes and found her, his angel in the midst of hell itself. Emma met him with equal fervor and love and passion. They used each other and this kiss to make sense of everything burning all around them and to remind themselves that what they had was worth fighting for, but for Killian, the kiss was more than even that. It was a burst of color in the graying scales of his life down here, the spark to light the true belief that they could have each other and the happy ending every hero fought for.

"You had me worried for a minute there," Emma said, pulling her lips away from Killian's but staying close, never straying from his embrace in the slightest. "I thought I was gonna have to get creative in showing you that the only real happiness for me would come with you at my side."

"Any particular fantasies on how such convincing might have happened, Swan?" Killian purposely teased her with a grin and a tenor dripping with innuendo, but instead of rolling her eyes or playing it off, Emma bit her lip, drawing all his thoughts and attention to the real and tangible tension between them.

"Maybe a couple, but none that would be good to pursue in this dusty old house." Killian barked out a laugh, kissing her lightly.

"You make an excellent point as per usual, love." Emma smiled, her fingertips coming up to stroke along his jaw, caressing where his bare cheek met the scruff of his beard. Her eyes traced over all his features, before returning to his again.

"In case I didn't make it clear before, I came back for you because I love you. I know rationally that I lived a whole life before you, and the last few weeks have shown me that _technically_ I can survive without you by my side, but it's less than the life I want. I can't be the me that everyone expects, or the me that I even like, without you. If that's selfish then so be it, but you'll never convince me that there isn't a way. There has to be one. Love always finds a way right?"

Killian's throat closed at her confession. Even if she'd shown him through her actions time and time again that she loved him, Emma's words were a powerful magic in themselves. She was a woman prone to holding back, to putting up walls, but those barriers were down, really and truly gone between them and Killian could feel her heart beating in her chest now coursing through him, as if it was working to keep him steady and alive too.

"There is only so much I can say about the love I feel for you, Emma. I've often tried to put it into words, but there is such an undeniable abundance of it I can hardly wrap my mind around what I feel." Killian took her hand in his and brought it up to press a gentle kiss against her wrist, reveling in her warmth, and the little jump in her pulse that came when his lips brushed her skin.

"All I know is I am yours, Swan. My reluctance to return didn't stem from any lack of desire to be with you, only my own misconceptions on how far I've come and what I am worth. I dared not dream that I could deserve you, but I will let your love be my guide into this new belief." Killian watched tears well in his love's eyes and though it made his chest clench up a bit, he knew they weren't tears of pain, but of relief.

"You're my dream too, Killian." With that promise, and her use of his name, Killian knew they'd turned the corner, and now all they had left to do was overthrow a devious God and escape the clutches of death itself. Still, crazy as it may seem, Killian believed it possible, all because he had Emma by his side.

…..

For the first time in what felt like a lifetime, Emma could breathe easy. She was holding him again, Killian, the man she loved, after what felt like a lifetime apart. His hand clutching hers now was a link that brought the pulsating energy of life back into her once more. No longer saddled with the weight of grief and despair, Emma hoped the worst was behind them, at least emotionally.

Yes, they had so much left to do to get back to Storybrooke, and none of it would be easy, but for the first time since she'd had to end Killian's life with that dagger, Emma knew in her heart that she and Killian were going to be okay. The rift between them was gone, the pain ebbed away, and now they had each other again. It felt like the most powerful form of magic Emma could imagine, and she only wished she could luxuriate in it instead of returning her focus to getting out of this hell hole.

Emma laughed at her internal characterization of the Underworld, and it had been so long since she'd had the chance to laugh that the sound felt foreign yet still desirable. It continued to bubble over as she chronicled all the idioms and turns of phrase that included hell that she knew, and though she must look absolutely insane, it felt good to get it out, to take a moment of happiness in a place so harshly opposed to the sentiment.

Without hesitation, or letting go of her hand, Killian stopped right there in front of the mansion to try and make sense of her outburst. He looked to her, his brow rising in that sexy, questioning way of his and Emma covered her mouth trying to muffle the continuing giggle.

"Care to share what you find so humorous, love?" Emma smiled, and saw the way the light in his eyes had returned once more. Her laughing seemed to have a positive effect on more than just herself.

"You mean you don't find our situation at large to be hilarious?" Killian grinned at her bit of banter, stepping closer.

"My thought was that _someday_ we could laugh at this love, when we are well and clear on the other side of it." Emma shrugged.

"I guess someday came a little early, for me." Killian's smile softened, and Emma could feel the gentle touch of his gaze on her, as if he was giving himself the chance to study and memorize everything about her.

This was the kind of thing Emma's heart broke over when they were apart. Only Killian saw her this way and was able to make her feel so loved and cherished without so much as a word. His silent adoration, his constant desire to protect her and see her happy, made her feel so lucky despite their current location. There was no way another love like this existed for her, no way another man alive (or dead) could give all that Killian gave to her, and so when he returned, it was like every other good thing came with him. Now Emma felt whole again, and she could already feel it revitalizing her aching, fatigued body and spirit. She couldn't help but pull him close again to kiss him.

Stealing moments of love and light in the Underworld was a nearly impossible feat, but here they stood, testament to the fact that hope prevailed even in darkness, even in the solemn gloom and loneliness of purgatory itself.

The best way Emma could describe it was that this kiss created a shield of sorts, protecting against the pull of sadness and defeat that came in this world of gray under a hazy red sky. It felt like sunlight, and the crisp ocean breeze that Emma missed from back home. She thought of spending a day with Killian when they got back, out there by the ocean, surrounded by nothing even resembling cares or worry. That would be a beautiful thing indeed after all of this.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that feeling, love." Killian's whispered words were said in the inches of space they made when finally pulling back and Emma beamed up at him, opening her eyes only to see a splash of color popping out from somewhere beside them.

"Killian, look!" Emma clutched at his jacket, and soon he turned to follow her gaze. There, in the hedgerow just beside the house, lay a smattering of roses, blooming despite the laws that governed the Underworld. They looked just as picture perfect, and just as impossibly beautiful as the ones in Camelot, crafted from color so pristine and so pure, they took Emma's breath away.

"Did we – I mean was that -?" Killian's inability to formulate words in the face of this new turn of events pulled another happy laugh from Emma.

" _Us_ , yeah." Emma looked back to Killian only for his lips to come crashing down on hers again and his arms came to hold her tighter against his chest. She felt devoured by the action, lost in his feel and taste until he pulled back once more.

"I say we fill this whole bloody place with roses, Swan. We'll see how the Lord of the dead likes that turn of events." Emma tilted her head slightly while still smiling.

"I like the way you think."

Roses alone didn't get them all back to Storybrooke of course, much as their creation might have pleased both Emma and Killian. In truth, the heroes faced a bigger battle still with Hades, and though it was touch and go, they ended victorious with of all things a kiss, one of love so true not even death could defy it. Emma and Killian managed to break the curse that kept their family trapped in that unbearable limbo and to return home once more. With this new chance at life in hand, Emma and Killian were truly happy, and they never took it for granted, not in all the many _many_ years they shared together there after.

…..

 _There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea  
You became the light on the dark side of me  
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill  
But did you know that when it snows  
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen?_

 _Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey  
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah  
Now that your rose is in bloom  
A light hits the gloom on the grey_

 _There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say  
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain  
Baby, to me, you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny  
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?  
But did you know that when it snows  
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen?_

 _Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey  
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah  
Now that your rose is in bloom  
A light hits the gloom on the grey_

 _I've been kissed by a rose on the grey  
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey  
And if I should fall, will it all go away?  
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey_

 _There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say  
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain  
To me, you're like a growing, addiction that I can't deny  
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?  
But did you know that when it snows  
My eyes become large, and the light that you shine can be seen?_

 _Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey  
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah  
Now that your rose is in bloom  
A light hits the gloom on the grey_

 _Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey  
Ooh, the more I get of you stranger it feels, yeah  
And now that your rose is in bloom  
A light hits the gloom on the grey_

 _Now that your rose is in bloom  
A light hits the gloom on the grey_

 _ **Post-Note: So it's safe to say I listened to this song ten times while writing this and plotting what the chapter would look like. Such a classic, heart wrenching, beautiful song, it's a real treat to include it in the mixtape. I hope that you all enjoyed the chapter, and want to remind all of you that I am always taking more song suggestions (or trope requests) for this playlist. Thanks again for reading, and have a lovely rest of your week!**_


	88. Open Your Eyes

_**A/N: I was recently prompted to write a chapter where Emma is jealous of Hook and Tinkerbelle, which immediately made me think of 3x10 and the scenes where Emma talks to David about Neal and Hook and where Hook tries to make Emma jealous with Tink. So yes – we are writing a different scene for that interlude without the town crisis. Instead I am giving us all the fluff we deserved. I also snuck some jealous Killian into this little scene as well for good measure. Since I wasn't prompted with a song I've chosen 'Open Your Eyes' by Snow Patrol, which is a classic. Anyway hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

Life was about the good moments, at least that was what David had just told Emma when they sat out by the ocean and talked about her lingering worries over Henry. He'd shifted the conversation to Neal and to the idea that reconnecting with him over grilled cheese would somehow fall into the good moment category but Emma wasn't convinced. In fact, she thought it would likely be the opposite of what she wanted and she'd nearly given the truth away by bringing up Hook in that moment. Her father played it off with a joke, but Emma's instinct to think of Hook when faced with Neal was one she couldn't just cast aside. Why was it that when she heard ' _good'_ she thought of Hook, or rather Killian?

Emma was still thinking about the peculiarity of it all when her father dropped her off outside the diner, but as she passed the side entrance of Granny's, Emma couldn't help but overhear the faint sound of voices. Usually she'd just keep walking, especially after the past couple of days she'd had, but one of the voices in particular stuck out to her. Killian was in there, and he was talking to a woman, someone's voice who was familiar but not registering at the moment because Emma was so fixated on him.

In truth, she'd been thinking of Killian way more than she should be. They were only just back from Neverland, she'd barely managed to save her son, and was running on basically no sleep, but in the time Henry was lost and now that they were back, Killian had taken up a permanent residence in her mind.

Emma was always aware of him, his voice, his person, his eyes tracking her every move. He missed nothing, and she'd never felt so exposed. That on top of the life-altering kiss they'd shared was more than enough to send her mind reeling at all hours of the day. It scared the living daylights out of her, but Emma found since coming back that she missed his closeness and intensity. Honestly, she just missed _him_.

Emma moved closer to the doorway, trying to be as quiet as she could, but as she made her way inside, she accidentally kicked a pebble into the hallway and immediately Killian's eyes looked up to her. For a few seconds, Emma felt caught in his gaze, soaking in that look he only ever seemed to send her way, but then she noticed his companion.

Tinkerbelle was just in front of him and she followed Killian's gaze to see Emma there. Tink's face turned beet red and it took Emma a moment to realize what she had just stumbled upon, but when she did a sinking feeling came. They were close together, way too close in Emma's opinion to be purely friendly, and then understanding dawned on her. They were a thing and they were clearly about to return to whatever they'd once been. She knew it! She totally freaking knew it as soon as she'd seen them together in Neverland. God how had she been so stupid?!

"Emma?" His voice sounded concerned but Emma didn't stay to hash it out, hating to risk living through that embarrassing moment. And to think she'd been starting to… well it didn't matter what she'd been feeling. Clearly she was an idiot. This right here was why she'd sworn to not let people in.

The cool wind whipped against Emma's face when she moved back outside and she could feel tears stinging her eyes. Emma silently tried to convince herself it was just the harshness of the breeze, but she knew it wasn't. She was simultaneously enraged and hurting and now energy crackled beneath the armor she always wore against the world. Emma felt out of control but she had to keep moving. The instinct to run was too strong.

"Swan, wait!"

 _Ha! That's not happening,_ Emma's internal voice said in a mocking tone as she picked up the pace. She managed to make it a few more steps, but Killian's hand grabbed her wrist just as she made it to the sidewalk. Emma felt her chest clutch tighter and tighter, making it hard to breathe. She was so full of emotions that she didn't want to face. She had to play it cool, had to push him back or she was going to give too much away.

"Look, Hook, it wasn't a big deal. Clearly you're busy." She avoided his eyes trying to pull her hand back but he held tight, not tight enough to hurt, but with enough force to let her know the last thing he wanted was to let her go.

Emma thought outwaiting him might be an option, but Killian was nothing if not patient and eventually she had to face this stand off head on. Emma stared back up at him, hardening her heart against him. Only when she looked into his piercing blue eyes, he didn't have a single barrier against her. Killian looked at her with an openness Emma craved and yet was scared to death of.

"Swan I know you well enough to know that something's wrong. Please, let me help." Emma's heart swelled at the way he sounded, so eager to make things better, as if he didn't realize he was the one destroying the little sliver of happy possibility she'd found on Pan's terrible island.

Emma forced her hand back, but breaking away from his touch physically hurt. How was she this addicted to the feel of him holding her? They barely knew each other. And yet, had anyone ever known her like he did? They were kindred spirits in a way. They understood each other; at least she'd thought they had.

"That line may work on Tinkerbelle, but it's not going to work on me." Emma turned around to start walking down the street, completely lacking any idea of where she was actually going but he followed her. She could hear his footsteps and even as part of her wanted to break into a run, another part felt joyous at the thought that he was coming after her. Maybe it meant he cared.

"So that's what this is about? You're jealous?!" Emma turned around, now fully furious, pointing her finger at him in accusation.

"I am _not_ jealous!" He grinned and stepped towards her. Emma's system flooded with adrenaline and a desire so strong she'd never felt anything like it. Why the hell did he affect her like this? She needed space, and this was _not_ space. Emma took a step back and faltered a bit, but he moved with lightening quick reflexes to catch her. Her heart thumped loudly as he bent down closer to her to whisper in her ear.

"I think you _are_ jealous, Emma." She shook her head, but couldn't help the way her heart fluttered at his calling her by her first name again.

"Why would I be jealous, _Killian_? That kiss clearly didn't mean anything." Emma could feel a vibration in his chest spark at her harsh words. Was that a growl? Was he actually growling at her?

"Of course not! How could it possibly mean something? How silly of me to think you might care for me at all when you have someone already!" Emma didn't understand his meaning as he stepped away.

"What are you even talking about right now?" He motioned with his hook wildly.

"You thought he was dead, Swan! You love Neal and it turns out he's alive. He's the father of your son, your first love, of course you're choosing him."

Emma looked at Killian and saw the defeat in his eyes, and suddenly she realized that she hadn't been clear. Keeping her distance had made things murky. It had deflated Killian and given Neal hope when there wasn't any for the two of them. She lied when she said the kiss didn't mean anything to her. It did, it meant more than she could ever say aloud.

"Now you sound jealous." Killian looked at her dead on as he replied.

"That's because I am Emma. I'm wild with it. The only reason I was talking to Tinkerbelle in the first place was to try and find some comfort in your dismissal. It wouldn't ever work of course, but a man has to try and claw his way out of misery when it's set upon him like this."

Emma couldn't believe what she was hearing, and she couldn't help the instinct to take a step closer. He watched her, confusion crossing his face and then she realized that terrifying as this was, she didn't want to hurt him. Not Killian. Not after everything he'd done to help her.

Somehow during their stint in Neverland, everything changed. Emma didn't see him as Hook the villain, but as a man who was good and honest and who she wanted by her side. Denying it was fruitless, tiring and strange and lonely, and so she decided to do something she rarely did – she decided to try. Not since Henry asked her to stay in Storybrooke had she taken such a risk.

"So you're not with her?" Emma asked, the anger long gone from her voice and Killian glanced back up at her and shook his head.

"No I am most certainly not _with_ her." Emma let out a relieved exhale. Those words meant so much more to her than they should and she had to admit what that meant. He was right, she'd been jealous.

"I lied." Killian's brow rose in silent question prompting her to keep going. "About the kiss. It might not have been my darkest secret, but it meant something. It meant more than any other ever has."

Emma's voice sounded shaky as she made her confession but she realized in a matter of seconds that she didn't have a reason to be worried about his reaction. In the face of her words he smiled, a smile so real and genuine, and dare she say it, _hopeful,_ that it seemed to light him up completely. Killian was looking at her like she was some sort of miracle and her whole body warmed from the attention.

"So I'm not alone in this then, love?" Emma shook her head but she still felt like there was more to say, more to make him see before she could even consider giving this a try.

"No but I don't do this, Killian: the emotions, the feelings. The only person I can even stomach saying I love you to is Henry." Killian smirked at that.

"I'm not asking for you to pledge your unwavering affection for me just yet, Swan." Emma looked at him critically, trying to understand him.

"Well then what are you asking for?" His hand cupped her cheek.

"A chance to try. We neither of us has much to go on, but I can't help but feel it'll be the most worthwhile quest of my life." Emma smiled. She couldn't help it when he put it that way.

"Okay," she whispered and in a second Killian's lips were on hers. He might have started the kiss out there on the street, but Emma was right there with him, surrendering to the desire that had bubbled between them for a while now. Turned out her Dad was right, all of the bad was worth it for moments as good as this one.

This kiss was more than just a need to feel connected, it was a moment of truth, where Emma opened her eyes to what she wanted and Killian did the same. Maybe it was crazy, actually Emma would wager that it was, but she felt safe here with him even given everything still going on. Killian made her feel like things were going to be okay, and when he pulled back from the kiss and intertwined his fingers with hers she felt more alive and more secure than she had in the longest time.

"So we're doing this? We're trying?" Emma asked a little breathless. He raised her hand up to press a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

"Aye, love." Emma smiled, happy at the answer.

"Good." And with that, they set forth together doing exactly what they promised – trying to make this incredible thing between them work.

…..

 _All this feels strange and untrue  
And I won't waste a minute without you  
My bones ache, my skin feels cold  
And I'm getting so tired and so old_

 _The anger swells in my guts  
And I won't feel these slices and cuts  
I want so much to open your eyes  
'Cause I need you to look into mine_

 _Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

 _Get up, get out, get away from these liars  
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire  
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine  
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time_

 _Every minute from this minute now  
We can do what we like anywhere  
I want so much to open your eyes  
'Cause I need you to look into mine_

 _Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

 _Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

 _All this feels strange and untrue  
And I won't waste a minute without you_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it. Jealous Emma strikes, well for the first time I guess, since this would have been back in season 3. I love the idea of Emma having her realization moment through jealousy and then demanding Killian to admit that he likes her too. Plus how often do I get to write jealous Emma? Also, this fic ended up being a bit harder than expected for a very strange reason. I couldn't decide if I wanted Emma to think of him as 'Killian' or 'Hook' because she wasn't calling him Killian in the show at that point. But I went with Killian because it's what feels more natural with the rest of my writing. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed and thanks for reading!**_


	89. Coming Home

_**A/N: I had a recent request for another chapter where Emma and Killian get one day of peace (and sex) when Killian gets back from the Underworld (5x21). They specified that it should be very smutty. So here it is – one day of smut, some more smut, and oh yeah, a proposal for good measure. Basically it's everything our CS babies deserved in my opinion. Also since I wasn't prompted with a song I have chosen 'Coming Home' by Jessie James. Chapter rated M.**_

 _I am never letting him go again._ Emma had been repeating the words in her brain like a positive mantra since seeing Killian in that graveyard alive and whole and well. One second she was miserable and alone, feeling his loss so badly it was like someone ripped her heart out just to smash it to pieces, and the next he was there. Killian, _her Killian_ , was there.

Emma couldn't manage to make sense of most anything out of his mouth in that moment of reunion. There was something about Zeus, the head of Olympus, and white lights, and whatever it was it could wait, like, three weeks as far as she was concerned. Actually, Emma had no idea when she'd be able to hear it. She still felt so shaken up from his leaving at all, that she could barely handle it. Her whole body pulsed with raw emotions, and while the most obvious of the moment was love, there was so much else in there too: relief, lingering stress, thankfulness, worry. Everything meshed together and she was quivering a bit from the force of it.

Sensing her continuing distress, Killian was perfect, just as he so often was. He never stopped touching her, a subtle reminder that he was here in the flesh, and with each step they took towards home, Emma had started to feel better and better. With Killian back at her side, Emma felt awake again, alive again even, and for the first time since coming back, she truly took in her surroundings.

The life and the realness of this world settled on her as they walked through Storybrooke. No more red sky of death, or stale air that felt slightly suffocating. They were back where they were meant to be, together in this strange little town in Maine. But when they got home, to the house he'd picked for them, Emma felt a true weight lift. They were finally here, at the beginning of their future having come through so much darkness, and Emma had hope again because of it, something she'd thought she might have seen the last of.

"If I'd known all it took to get a day alone with you was dying -," Emma covered Killian's mouth before he could finish that thought as they stepped up to the porch.

"Nope. There will be absolutely no more dying. Are we clear?" Killian smiled and nodded.

"Aye, love. Clear as day." Emma let out the breath she'd been holding, recollecting herself a little bit. She was still half in shock. She'd started the day utterly defeated, putting one foot in front of the other even though she could barely breathe, and now he was back and the world was as it should be again.

Well not fully. They'd suffered a lot, lost people, lost parts of the belief that good always wins that they all had before, but they were alive. Her heart hammered in her chest reminding her of that now, whereas she'd felt dulled and numb when Killian was gone.

Before coming back to their home, Emma had made sure to see her parents and Henry and she went so far as to beg for one day, just one to have Killian back before the rest of the world came caving in. Henry was planning to stay with Regina anyway, given his other mother's understandable grief, but they all agreed that Emma and Killian deserved one day at least to rejoice in their reunion. They promised only to call if it was really truly urgent. Anything worthy of less than the savior herself could wait another day.

As soon as Emma and Killian were inside the house and the door closed behind them, sufficiently shutting them from the rest of the world, Emma flung herself into Killian's arms. Her lips crashed against his in a fervent kiss, and she could hardly control herself. She couldn't rationally explain it, but she needed physical proof that he was here, and her mind and spirit were telling her this was the only way to get that. Killian though, was concerned at her outburst, and as always presented her with a choice.

"Emma, we don't need to rush into this. We have time. For once we have time." Emma closed her eyes as his hand came to cup her cheek, luxuriating in that truth and in his touch. No a day wasn't enough time, but it was something, something more than they'd ever known before.

"Killian, I need to feel you. You were gone - you were gone and -," Killian silenced her with a kiss, knowing that she needed all of him in this moment, or she'd spiral back into the mess of things she was still feeling. What Emma needed, and what Killian needed too, was release and connection and love, and there were few better ways to feel that than coming together like this.

His hand and hook roamed over her body, pressing her to him so every hard line of him molded against her. Emma felt ravenous, completely starved for him and for this, and he was just the same, taking her mouth with a fury of kisses unlike any they'd ever shared. It was hot and heavy and unguarded.

Emma didn't dare risk pulling back from this embrace, flicking her wrist to get them up to their bedroom as soon as possible. When Killian pulled back to see what she'd done, Emma almost thought he pouted and then his mouth turned to a firm line.

"I had ideas of taking you all over this house, love. You've thwarted me and my plan." Emma felt a shiver of desire spiral up her spine. She shoved his jacket off of him and with deft fingers unbuttoned his vest, working solely towards getting both of them naked.

" _Later_. You can have whatever you want later." Killian seemed to agree with her demands, and swiftly they stripped themselves of everything still standing between them. Emma lost herself a bit as she always did when she got to see him this way, but the ache inside was too strong for her to linger long on admiration. Her hands moved down trying to get him as riled as she was, but he pushed her back, denying her.

"I won't last that way, Swan. Get on the bed. On your back." Emma did exactly as he said, heating even more from the authority of his tone. She didn't have words to make sense of how good it felt to have this back.

"Good form, love. Now, hands to the headboard." Emma was somewhat surprised by the continued authority, thinking that he would opt for a more gentle love making, but feeling herself practically on fire from his tone, she obliged him.

Once she'd done so, Killian came on top of her her. Starting with her mouth then moving along her jawline down her throat and into the valley of her breasts he kissed and sucked and Emma nearly forgot to breath. Rationally she knew what he was doing – trying to divert the nonstop emotion that was plaguing her by taking over control– but all she could feel was him and the perfection he was bringing her. Forgetting his instructions, Emma brought her hands to tangle in his hair and Killian pulled back, making her groan in frustration.

"Not yet, love." He looked at her with that cocky grin, and though Emma was tempted to just claw at him and beg him to take her already she followed his order.

"You won't be smiling like that when I get my turn at this, _Captain_." Emma watched his blue eyes darken at the title. Yeah she'd stumbled on that little piece of enjoyment before everything had happened, and she was damn well going to use all the tidbits she'd picked up on when it was her turn to drive him crazy.

"I imagine I'll be losing my bloody, mind, love. But it'll be worth it." Killian's eyes dropped back to her breasts, which made her already hard nipples tighten just a bit more. Killian took their attention as a sign to lavish the pleasure points. Taking one into his mouth and sucking made Emma practically purr but she didn't give a damn.

He attended to both breasts with reverence with his mouth and with is hand, and when he was quite satisfied that she was teetering on the edge, he abandoned his pillaging and returned to kissing her mouth as his hand moved down the flat plains of her stomach, to her hip, and slowly, torturously slowly, he opened up her legs and his fingers made contact with her waiting heat.

"You're so ready for me, love." Emma couldn't even fathom a reply. The dirty talk and the hint of dominance was the surest form of making her crazy, but she knew if she tried to turn the tables, he'd go slower to rile her up even more. Instead she mumbled something slightly sarcastic under her breath that he still heard. She could feel the rumble of his laughter as she said it, but then he was driving her crazy and bringing her to climax just with his magical hand leaving her to cry out his name.

"I love you, Emma. Gods how I love you" That was it, something in her snapped and Emma suddenly didn't give a damn what his plan was. She was taking what she wanted right freaking now. Hooking her leg around his waist, she surprised him and flipped their positions so she was on top. She just smiled as his shock turned to a look that said he should have known better.

Emma traced the defined muscles on his abdomen and watched the harsh rise and fall of his chest as Killian felt her perusal of his body. Slowly she moved down on him, relishing the feeling of being so incredibly full as she took him in inch by glorious inch. She threw her head back to enjoy it, but Killian was cursing like the sailor he was.

"Emma, love, you win. I surrender." Emma grinned and with his white flag offered she took pity on both of them, twisting and lifting and moving back down the two of them found their rhythm and chased a finish they'd both been starving for for what felt like forever. There was no slow and steady, just hard and fast, panting and moaning and the sleek sheen of sweat on their skin as they both seemed ready to catch fire from the inside out.

"Come, Emma." His unexpected command set her off and moments later he followed.

In the now soft quiet of their bedroom, Emma caught her breath again, wrapped up in Killian's arms as he held her close. She pressed a gentle kiss over his heart.

"No more leaving."

"Aye, never again, Swan." Emma closed her eyes, the words serving as a final balm to heal her broken heart.

…

The Underworld had been hell itself – and yes Killian knew that technically that wasn't true, but that blasted place had taken from him and from Emma. It had taken hope, and though that hope had sense returned, Killian would always be angry at their stint in purgatory. Emma should never have had to make those decisions or live through those heart-breaking moments for him, and still she had. In the end it was what got him back here to her, but he swore over and over since returning that he would never give her reason to worry or fear like that again. Instead he would fight tooth and nail to see her safe and happy and protected.

The task might sound easy in theory, but Killian knew his love was a complex woman, capable of great feeling and thus great stress. This day away would end and Killian knew darkness and trouble would find them again, but at least they'd have each other. They'd turned the corner, confirming their love to each other and the world and now all that they could do was move forward. Killian couldn't wait for that to happen.

"Killian, you're the one who said we should be sleeping." Emma hadn't even opened her eyes, and Killian had been so lost in his own thoughts he missed the shift from her being asleep to being awake, but now there was no missing it, as Emma's roaming hands traced lines of pure pleasure across his body. His Swan remained ever the bloody siren.

"I said _you_ should be sleeping, Emma. There is no chance that I could with you in my arms again." Emma gave a happy sigh at his words and Killian felt glad to know he could give her that. That being said, he was still surprised when Emma's hand moved lower down his abdomen until her fingers came to wrap around his cock, pulling a groan from his lips. They'd gone from sweet and tender to a demanding Emma in seconds. Gods, she was something else.

"The sweet, sexy, true love, pirate boy friend thing really works for me you know." Emma said continuing to tease him with her attentions as her mouth came to nip at his collarbone.

"It's becoming clear that everything about me ' _works'_ for you, love. You can't get enough of me." Killian gave her a cocky grin and Emma nipped at his lower lip playfully. He felt his whole body tense when faced with the beautiful temptation that was his love. Emma at any given moment was perfection, but like this, open and willing and hungry for him, she was something else entirely. She held his hopes and dreams so squarely in her hand that Killian could think of little but her. She consumed his every thought and every action.

"I love you, Killian." Killian couldn't tell if the sound emanating from him was a groan or a growl but it mattered not. All that mattered was giving Emma what she wanted, and that was clear as day in her shining green eyes. What she wanted was him and he was bloody well going to give all of himself to her.

"There has never been a love like this, Swan. You are everything to me." Killian said the words as he kissed his way down her body. He spoke between brushes of his lips on her skin, reveling in her responsiveness when he came to her breasts and used his hand in addition to his mouth. Emma hadn't a care for quiet, telling him very clearly what she liked and what she wanted.

He'd known from their first meeting it would be like this with her, that underneath those layers of armor and protection lay a heart made of fire and passion and warmth. That he was the lucky man earning the right to enjoy it filled him with more pride than anything ever had.

"Killian, please -," The plea on her lips, the sound of breathy neediness that only ever came when they were in bed together fueled Killian on, but he needed more from her. He needed everything.

"Please, what love?" Emma groaned, no doubt understanding his intention to make her say it aloud. Still she surprised him though, taking her words a very different way than he expected.

"Remind me that we belong together." Killian felt the tightening in his chest at the vulnerability in her tone and immediately set forth to do just that.

Killian moved farther down their bed and hoisted her up so her sex was at his face. Emma closed her eyes in bliss, letting out a strangled sigh. She knew release was coming, but Killian had taken her like this enough times for her to likely know it would be slow and all consuming. Killian did nothing in half measures, not when it came to Emma.

With slow, languid, strokes of his tongue, Killian began his assault, purposely taking his time and paying close attention to everything she loved most. She pleaded with him for faster, but her body betrayed her words as he saw her shivering and tensing up with desire when subjected to his pace. Finally he brought her to her peak and relished the intensity of her shattering climax. Watching her fall apart like this riled him further and as she came back to herself, he returned to his spot above her, ready to finally take his own release.

Emma looked about to ask him for more, but Killian shook his head, whispering to her that she was his forever before taking her mouth in another passionate kiss. Killian thrust himself inside her still aching sex as she groaned at his words and they came together in a more forceful way than he might have liked. This was no tender lovemaking, but the same wild, unbridled pursuit they'd shared when coming home last night and every few hours after that. He moved into her with hard fast strokes only for his Swan to match him at every turn. Only when he felt her ready to tumble into bliss once more did he allow himself the same pleasure, marveling again at how right things were between them.

Killian peppered her skin with kisses seeing how she practically glowed from what was between them in the late morning light. He ran his fingers through her golden hair, spilling across her pillow and then pulled her close, unwilling to be apart from her. This was where they belonged, right here, for all eternity.

….

As the last of their twenty four hours came to a close, with the sun setting on Storybrooke once more, Emma knew it was time to get back, to rejoin the fray of their lives here and return to their roles as heroes. She was ready in almost every way, having felt the healing power that time with Killian could grant her, but there was one thing left on her mind, one big piece to the puzzle of her life that she wanted to have with her when they rejoined the world.

They currently stood on the decks of the Jolly Roger and Killian was checking to make sure things were as they should be. He was all quiet capability as he assured himself that things were well, but more than once, Emma caught him looking back at her, checking that she was okay. She smiled, unable to contain the happiness that came with having his gaze on her again. She'd gone from always having it to losing it twice, but they were back together and stronger than they ever had been.

"You're awfully thoughtful this evening, love." Killian said with a cheeky grin from the steering wheel of the ship and Emma's heart thumped loudly in her chest. She wanted to see that playful cockiness from him every day for the rest of her days, and so she set out to do what she knew needed to be done.

"Close your eyes." His brow rose at her request.

"Come again, Swan?" She smiled.

"Close your eyes." He hesitated only for a moment before doing so and Emma looked about the decks and waved her wrist to magically create what she wanted for this moment. When she was certain it was ready, just as she imagined it, she spoke again. "Okay, you can open."

The look in Killian's eyes when he saw the display was more than Emma could have ever dared to dream of. He was overcome with emotion, and the love and trust and unbridled joy in his blue eyes brought tears to hers. As he looked at her, standing amidst a collection of pure pink roses, Emma could feel his intensity. Just in front of her were small tea light candles spelling out a message.

' _Will You Marry Me?'_

"You seem to have a knack for stumbling upon my moments love." Emma blinked at him, unsure of his meaning as he walked towards her with even, fluid steps.

Killian was just before her when he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring with a gorgeous sapphire in the center, wreathed with white diamonds. Emma was shocked that he had this ring at all, and then she realized that Killian had always known, even long before she did that this was a forever kind of love. His loyalty and patience had manifested time and time again, for he was unafraid of dreaming of a life where they'd be happy together side by side.

Emma felt the happy tears streaming down her face as she choked out a laugh. She wiped them away quickly, smiling down at him, desperate for the moment they both said yes, while also wanting just a little more banter between them.

"It's probably because I get tired of waiting for you." Killian looked slightly offended and Emma laughed outright.

"Waiting for _me_?! Well rest assured the wait is over. I love you Emma, and nothing would ever make me happier than being your husband. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?" Emma nodded.

"Yes." One word was all it took to walk into the future with the man she loved, and Emma could hardly believe how good that word felt to say.

Killian stood up, pulling her into his arms with haste. The ring slipped onto her finger, and then everything spiraled from a soul-searing kiss to one last rendezvous in Killian's cabin. _Technically_ they overstayed their day away, but it was all okay in the end. The Universe had granted them their moment, their one perfect day after a slew of bad ones, and for that Emma was grateful.

Returning to her family once more, Emma was revitalized and ready for whatever came next, because she knew no matter what she'd have Killian to come home to when the worst of the storms were over.

…..

 _Mm, yeah  
Hey_

 _I know it's only been a little while  
Baby, I really need to see your smile  
It seem like forever when I'm away from you  
Let me tell you what I'm gonna do_

 _Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh_

 _I'm coming home, gonna give you what you want  
'Cause I need your love, I don't wanna be alone  
I'm gonna fly to you, just like I always do  
I'm lost without you, you know  
I'm coming home  
I'm coming home, yeah_

 _Baby, you can keep me up all night  
A pillow tucked in by the candlelight  
No need to tell you, you already know  
What to do and where to go_

 _Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh_

 _I'm coming home, gonna give you what you want  
Cause I need your love, I don't wanna be alone  
I'm gonna fly to you, just like I always do  
I'm lost without you, you know  
I'm coming home_

 _Just need to see your face  
Can't waste another day  
There's nothing left to say  
Just take my breath away, oh_

 _I'm coming home, gonna give you what you want  
Cause I need your love, I don't wanna be alone  
I'm gonna fly to you, just like I always do  
I'm lost without you, you know  
I'm coming home  
Mm, yeah  
I'm coming home  
I'm coming home, yeah_

 _ **Post-Note: You know, it doesn't matter how many chapters like this I write, I still get a happy bubbly feeling every time. I'm putting all my positive energy out there that season six stays light for the most part, or at least less tense, but until that day when we get the happiness over the drama, I'll be here writing fics like this. Actually, who am I kidding, it's never going to be enough. Even if they give me a ton of cuteness, there is always more room for fluff. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed and thank you so much for reading!**_


	90. Let It Show

_**A/N: Short little AU oneshot where Emma is – surprise! – usually super guarded, but one night on a friend's vacation weekend hosted by Mary Margaret and David, Killian hears Emma say his name while she sleeps. Emma has no idea that happened and she's trying to keep her cool in the kitchen the next morning, but she can't. Devolves into cute confessions of loving the other with just the slightest bit of smut. Inspired by a reader prompt for 'Let It Show' by Skylar Stecker.**_

Being an early riser was all well and good until you were on a group vacation. Emma Swan was discovering that the hard way as she entered the first morning here on holiday with her friends. Emma had been up for over an hour already and the rest of the house was quiet. She'd had time to get ready and greet the day, even taking a run on the beach and still nothing. Everyone was out cold leaving Emma to her own devices as she snuck around the house quietly.

Despite the bit of inconvenience though, Emma knew how to handle solitude. She'd done the flying solo thing for a long time, and aside from her few close friends, she didn't really have people around a lot. Emma had grown used to quiet, and was comfortable enough in it to survive a while longer. She just needed something to distract her until everyone was back amongst the living again.

Emma considered her next steps and opted to make breakfast for everyone not only to be helpful but also to save them all time. Hopefully if everyone was fed right away they'd have the chance to go exploring or something sooner. They were wasting enough precious daylight as it was, and Emma, as someone who rarely ever took off work, hated the idea of sleeping idle hours away. So she gathered the ingredients in the well-stocked cabinets to make a decent meal.

A small creak of the floorboards behind her a few minutes later told her she was no longer alone, and that someone was waiting at the kitchen doorway. When she turned to see who it was, Emma's heart skipped a beat and she momentarily froze in place. Killian Jones tended to have that affect on her wherever they were. She was always responding like this to him, always feeling a little more off-kilter for having been in his presence. Emma quickly collected herself only to realize he was still just watching her, no _'hello'_ or _'good morning'_ or anything.

 _Why is he staring at me like that?_ Emma asked herself. She was dressed in regular clothes and had even managed to dry her hair after her shower, but now she worried something was wrong. Why else would he look at her with this kind of intensity?

"Hi," Emma finally said, breaking the silence. Killian shook a thought away and ran a hand through his hair before mumbling his own good morning. Emma took a deep breath as he moved over to stand and lean against the counter.

He was maybe ten feet away, so still too close for comfort, but not directly on top of her. He continued to watch her though and Emma felt a shiver of anticipation, like maybe it all meant something. Then again, maybe he was just tired. Lord knew she'd spaced out enough in her life, though truth be told, most of the time it was thanks to him.

Emma felt her hands begin to shake, and she wondered not for the first time why she'd come on this trip at all. Then she remembered – she'd been invited by Mary Margaret and David for a friend's week away here at David's family's cape house, and that was all well and good, except for one thing – one of the other 'friends' was Killian and Emma had feelings for the man that went far beyond the parameters of friendship.

In truth, Emma was borderline obsessed with this man, or at least her sex-starved brain was. She felt like she constantly thought of Killian even when she was working to avoid him and her own glaringly one-sided interest. It wasn't easy to do seeing as her best friend and his best friend were crazy in love, and given how much Killian endeared himself to everyone. He was kind and charming, witty and fun, but he was also only ever a gentleman to Emma.

Sometimes on occasion she thought he might be flirting with her, but she was so bad at it herself she couldn't actually tell. Whenever it happened she got so inside her own head in the middle of the exchange that her walls came back up. And now six months of interactions between them had left her loving him mostly from afar and him…well staring at her in a random kitchen.

"I'm making pancakes. Do you want some?" Killian nodded, and Emma let out a subtle sigh of relief. She had something to do now, something to ignore the way his presence in the same room set a tingle through her spine.

There was no ignoring Killian, though, at least not fully, and for Emma this morning particularly it was hard to act natural. The reason for that was slightly shameful but an impossible to deny reality of her life – she'd woken up this morning after a pretty vivid sex dream about Killian all hot and bothered and completely on edge. Being near him now only threw her back in the thick of those sensations.

Not to say that this was a one-time occurrence. As the months progressed, Emma found herself battling off a rapidly growing series of dirty dreams about this hot, intriguing, British man, but at least at home she could handle her personal mortification in private. Here she was half terrified he could read her mind or somehow he would stumble upon the truth.

"Blueberry or plain?" Emma asked, hearing the hoarseness in her voice as she said it. When he didn't respond right away, she looked over at him staring some more. Okay that was it. She had to say something, right? "Are you okay?"

"You talk in your sleep. Has anyone told you that?"

 _Oh shit!_ Emma could feel herself going beet red, because he knew! Killian Jones had to know that she had been dreaming of him, and dear god if she said something from the dream it could be bad. Really bad. Like _'just fuck me already'_ bad.

It wasn't even like it was Emma's fault considering how near to each other they were on this trip. Hell she'd been doing everything she could to avoid being too close to him for months, but then Emma was given this room and Killian was relegated to the couch here on the same floor. They were sharing a bathroom and last night Emma's thoughts had lingered on the fact that only a wall separated them. They were close, clearly too freaking close if he could overhear her talking in her sleep.

"Do I?" Killian pushed off from the island counter and moved towards her. Emma turned back to the stove, but she sensed him when he came to a stop only inches away from her. She could feel the warmth rolling off of him, could smell that heady scent that surrounded her any time he got close. She couldn't look at him, because she knew that bit of bed head and those piercing blue eyes would completely overwhelm her. Emma needed to act cool, only she had no cool to spare.

"You can imagine my shock when I heard my name on your lips." Emma let out a mortified squeak, which then only added to the problem. "It made me think that while I was dreaming of you, you were dreaming of me too, love."

Now Emma whipped her head over to look at him. The cocky smile she expected wasn't there, only a serious sort of curiosity. She could feel his intensity but it didn't come from arrogance. He really wanted to know, and he was being honest about dreaming of her. It wasn't a joke, she could tell.

"What?" Killian hesitated just a moment before taking her hand in his.

"Bloody hell, I might be about to ruin everything and make this horribly awkward but I think I'm in love with you Emma." Emma blinked at him for a moment, trying to understand this. It was so ridiculously out of left field she couldn't wrap her mind around it.

"You _think_?" Killian shook his head.

"No I'm damn well certain that I'm in love with you. It just seemed less demanding with that small emotional preface." Emma heard a bit of laughter bubble from her chest and the next thing she knew she was pulling him down to her and kissing him. And holy hell did Killian Jones know how to kiss her back.

This was easily the best kiss of her entire life, so good it made her wonder if she'd ever even known how to kiss before this. Nothing had ever felt so perfect and suddenly months of dirty fantasies and wondering what –if was being kicked into high gear. He _loved_ her! Killian Jones just told her he loved her and okay wow, this was happening!

Killian's hands roamed all over her body, pulling her so close she could feel every part of him against her. It wasn't enough though and Emma arched closer, rubbing up against his prevalent arousal. She heard Killian's hum of approval of the movement and she wanted more of those sounds. Emma wanted to push him over the edge and to see if he was as amazing as she'd imagined. Consumed as she was Emma completely forgot that they were in the middle of the kitchen and that anyone could stumble upon them until it was too late. 

" _Seriously?!"_ Emma and Killian instantly broke away at the expletive from Ruby. When Emma tried to take a step back, Killian held her firmly in his arms still. She couldn't help the thrill that went through her at that. It was almost protective, a little bit possessive, and still incredibly sweet. When Emma looked back at Ruby though, she was surprised. There was no shock on her friend's face and instead the brunette rolled her eyes huffing out an angry breath.

"Ugh, Mary Margaret wins the pool now! Come on guys, you couldn't hold off one more night? I was so sure you two slow pokes were a day three kind of thing." Emma felt Killian's hands tighten on her body as he muttered a few choice curse words of his own. Emma couldn't help but smile at his frustration and his very clear desire to not be interrupted.

"Maybe we should finish this outside?" Emma whispered, offering him a smile, and she watched as her words broke his tension. He gave her a smile of his own and without so much as a backwards glance at Ruby, led Emma from the house to the backstretch of private beach the house had to offer.

With each step they moved away from everyone else, Emma felt her heart hammering louder in her chest. Okay now was the moment, she was going to tell Killian she loved him. This was it.

"Killian -," Before she could even get the words out his lips were on hers again, his arms pulling her closer and Emma was lost to him and this demanding embrace. The kitchen seemed tame compared to this, and Emma felt her whole body pulsing with need and want because of it. This must be what happened when people collided after months of build up. It was nuclear, volcanic, so much bigger than anything else ever had been.

"Gods, Emma, you taste better than I ever imagined." The desperation in his voice only made her want him more. Suddenly it was clear as day that he'd been struggling with this attraction too. Why hadn't she seen it? Her hands ran over his chest lightly, trying to get her bearings after two pretty astounding kisses.

"Have you been imagining a lot?" Killian grinned at her implication.

"Since the moment I saw you, Swan." Emma couldn't keep the smile from her face as he said the words and his hand came to cup her cheek. This reality was better than her dreams too.

"And now you love me." Killian nodded.

"Aye, love. I think I started falling that first night, but you seem to have a bit of an effect on me, one where I completely lose my head and any shred of calm I might otherwise have." Emma bit her lip.

"I kind of know the feeling." Killian's thumb ran across the corner of her mouth, and Emma longed to feel his lips on hers again, but waited to hear what he would say. She could see a lingering question waiting in those deep blue eyes and for the first time in her life, she wanted her walls down. She wanted to let Killian in and to let her love for him show.

"Is that the only sentiment you know, Swan?"

"I might potentially reciprocate your feelings…" Emma enjoyed the gruff sound that came from Killian at her bit of teasing.

"So you fancy me then?" Emma shook her head.

"No I don't _fancy_ you. I love you too, Killian." The look of pure joy on Killian's face at her words was one Emma swore she'd remember as long as she lived. And she'd remember that next kiss too, the third of many _many_ more to come.

"Nothing, and I truly mean nothing, has ever made me happier than hearing you say that, love." Emma panted slightly, trying to catch her breath when his lips finally pulled away from hers.

"Why do I sense that there's a but coming?" Killian groaned.

"Because there is in a sense. I had all sorts of ideas of what might happen next love, and this house is not conducive to those hopes."

Emma nodded, understanding completely. Despite what both Emma and Killian might have wished for, their discovery of reciprocated love couldn't be immediately rejoiced in. They were, after all, currently on vacation with six of the nosiest people ever. Still, despite everything, Emma found herself grinning.

"What's that look for, love?"

"I think we can look at this week like a challenge. It might not be what either of us imagined, but we could get creative, find some time to be alone…" Emma nipped at his lower lip playfully, pulling a growl from him as he kissed her again. In a perfect world he would never stop kissing her.

"Well I love a challenge, Swan." Needless to say they both rose to the occasion, finding the start of a beautiful forever together in spite of their surroundings.

….

 _I got a thing for ya  
I'm thinking you should know  
Wishing I could be with ya  
But I keep it to myself uh, oh_

 _See I play the wall but you're on my mind  
I think about you all the time  
I got a thing for ya  
But I don't let it show no,no  
Cuz lately I've been dreaming about you  
And I'm thinking bout you, boy I'm thinking bout you  
So tell me boy what do I have to do?  
Noooooo_

 _Cuz I think we could be something_ _  
_ _We got this good think baby I know_ _  
_ _I wish that I could love ya_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_ _  
_ _Cuz I think we could be something_ _  
_ _We got this good thing baby I know_ _  
_ _I wish that I could love ya_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_ _  
_ _Show, show, show, show, show ,show_ _  
_ _Show, show, show, show, show ,show_ __

 _Wanna be with ya_ _  
_ _Don't wanna let you go_ _  
_ _Thinking we should be honest_ _  
_ _And be a little more uh, oh_ _  
_ _See I play the wall but you're on my mind_ __

 _I wish that I could make you mine_ _  
_ _I wanna be with ya_ _  
_ _But I don't let it show no,no_ _  
_ _Cuz lately I've been dreaming about you_ _  
_ _And I'm thinking bout you, boy I'm thinking bout you_ _  
_ _So tell me boy what do I have to do?_ _  
_ _Noooooo_ __

 _Cuz I think we could be something_ _  
_ _We got this good thing baby I know_ _  
_ _I wish that I could love ya_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_ _  
_ _Cuz I think we could be something_ _  
_ _We got this good thing baby I know_ _  
_ _I wish that I could love ya_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_ _  
_ _Show, show, show, show, show ,show_ _  
_ _I don't ever let it show_ _  
_ _Show, show, show, show, show ,show_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_ __

 _Never let it show_ _  
_ _Never let it show_ _  
_ _Noooooo_ _  
_ _Cuz I think we could be something_ _  
_ _We got this good thing baby I know_ _  
_ _I wish that I could love ya_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_ _  
_ _Cuz I think we could be something_ _  
_ _We got this good thing baby I know_ _  
_ _I wish that I could love ya_ _  
_ _I don't ever let, I don't ever let it show_

 _ **Post-Note: In case you guys missed it in the past 89 chapters of this series, I always love AU oneshots where Emma and Killian have been crushing on each other just to have an eventual confrontation. I love love confessions and first kisses and them being honest and open after months of skirting around each other, and the fact that this prompt gave me the chance to write that makes me so happy. Something about that story type just gives me life and feelings of fluffy goodness, and it's done its job again on this fine Saturday. I hope you all enjoyed and thank you all for reading!**_


	91. Love Is Worth Fighting For

_**A/N: This chapter of the Mixtape brings a short post-Underworld fic where a married Emma and Killian get into a huge fight about a near miss against a new big bad. Emma is furious that Killian put himself at risk and Killian is just as angry that she did the same. No worries, the tension breaks and brings smut and subsequent fluff and feels. Inspired by 'Love is Worth Fighting For' by Haley Reinhart.**_

Inches. That's how far away she'd been from losing Killian again and the rage in Emma's gut now that the conflict was behind them was insurmountable. Underneath there was fear, panic, terror, you name it, but right now at the surface she felt nothing but anger, and Killian knew it. He'd put himself at risk and Emma was furious.

Standing in the sheriff's station with her family, where they'd all regrouped, Emma was positively shaking with the force of her emotions and trying her hardest to get through this debrief so she could go fight with her stupid, stubborn, selfless, pirate husband. Yeah, talk about a hell of a wedding present, watching the man she loved almost get killed _again_ just weeks after they said _'I do.'_ It was too much for her to even begin addressing right now.

"Swan -," Emma raised her hand at him, silently demanding that he hold whatever half assed apology he had until they were alone. She could not be held accountable for her actions right now, not after this. Emma was seconds away from a complete meltdown. Her magic was brimming just under her fingertips, burning white hot and only adding to the fury.

"Emma I think you might be over reacting." Emma closed her eyes at her father's words. She was not doing this here, and she was definitely not getting her family's opinion on how she should feel right now.

"Yeah Mom, Killian just saved your life." Henry seemed genuinely confused as to why Emma was acting this way, and if she wasn't so completely strung out with the force of these feelings, maybe she could put on a better show of not being upset.

 _I will not take this out on Henry. I will not take this out on my son._ Emma chanted the words in her head even as she knew Henry had a point. Yes, Killian saved her. She hadn't even seen the attack before it was nearly too late, but it didn't matter. Her emotions were so frayed from him yet again risking everything. She just needed him safe. She needed him to stop throwing himself in the thick of danger to save her, because she kept losing him when he did.

"Not now, lad." Killian's words to Henry and the understanding look they shared lessened Emma's anger for just a moment, but she couldn't go there. It was safer to be furious than scared, and she was damn well going to hold onto that at least for a little while.

"Henry, honey, I think you should stay with me tonight." Regina's words prompted Henry to glance back at Emma and Emma gave a small nod. Henry looked like he wanted to say more, but in the end didn't and Emma was grateful. The worst feeling was having her kid see her hurting. She wanted to be strong for Henry, and right now she didn't feel strong at all.

When Regina and Henry had left the room, it was just Emma, Killian and her parents, both of whom looked concerned. Bristling at their worry involuntarily, Emma asked if there was anything else they needed from her today. As soon as they said there wasn't, she flicked her wrist, bringing both Killian and her back home with a _poof_ of magic. They'd landed in the living room and Emma was glad they'd made it home at all. With the way she was feeling, they could have ended up anywhere.

"Emma I know you're angry." The beat of silence between them, now broken, Emma allowed herself to fully lash out against her husband, tired of him making her feel this out of control.

"Oh good! I'm so glad you picked up on that. I wonder why I could possibly be mad right now. Maybe it's the fact that you nearly died again even though you promised me no more sacrificing yourself!" Killian stood his ground, and where Emma expected some sort of remorse, she saw nothing but a fire in his eyes too.

"I promised no such thing, Emma, for it would be an impossible oath to keep." Emma threw her hands up in the air at that.

"So you admit you threw yourself into danger then?"

"Of course I bloody did, Emma! That man was after you. What did you expect?"

"I expected you to stick to the plan! I could have handled it!" Okay, that was a stretch. There was a very real possibility she wouldn't be here right now without Killian. At the very least she'd be in pretty terrible shape.

"We handled it _together_ , as we're going to do everything from here on out. You fight and I fight with you. That's how this works, Emma." She shook her head, not willing to hear that.

"Well then I guess we're at an impasse, because I can't accept that! I need you to protect yourself. I need you to put yourself first for once!" Emma was heaving with emotion, her chest rising and falling harshly as she strained for breath. Her voice was horse from yelling at this point.

"I will not stand aside when my wife is in the line of fire! You're scared of losing me, Emma, I understand that, but losing _you_ is not an option. I would risk myself a thousand times for you!"

And that, right there, was Emma's problem, because he meant it. He meant every single word of it, and he would spend the next fifty years driving her this crazy with worry.

"I can take care of myself, Killian!" Killian growled at that.

"No, Swan, that's where you're wrong. We are a team, and today there was too much for you to fight alone!" Emma scoffed, but she knew he was right. She just couldn't show it. Killian let out a frustrated groan and ran his hand through his hair.

"You think you're angry that I was almost hurt? Well Henry was right. You were in danger Emma, so close to getting hit and I saw any chance at the happy future you deserve slipping away! I saw Henry losing his mother, your parents losing their daughter, and I saw me missing out on our life together! Bloody hell, last night we talked of having more children, and I'll be damned if we lose the chance because I don't protect you! So no, I didn't back away. I fought for you, for us! And I am always going to fight for this love, Emma, so you best understand that now."

Emma could feel her heart hammering in her chest and adrenaline coursing through her. She was standing right at the brink of completely losing it, falling apart in front of Killian, the anger giving way, and in an instant she saw the understanding in his eyes. Before she even knew what was happening he was pulling her into his arms, claiming her mouth in a searing kiss and giving her what she needed most in that moment: clear, definitive proof that he was alive and safe.

Emma wrapped herself up in Killian as surely as she could, feeling the raw energy still pouring between them. It shifted from the fury of the fight to the need to be together. He was right, he was completely right, she had needed him but the problem was she always would. He'd made her love him so fiercely, made her depend on him like she did her next breath and she just kept losing him. Emma didn't want to lose him ever again as long as she lived. She tried to tell him all of that without words, but with action, holding him close and never letting go.

Killian and Emma surrendered completely to the pull between them, ripping away the layers of clothing separating them with haste. They didn't even bother taking this upstairs, finding that both of them were so far gone they just needed hard and fast and certain. They rarely came together like this, only in times of the highest stress, but every touch from Killian seared Emma's skin and burned away the worry and the grief and the sadness in her heart at the thought that someday he'd be gone.

Emma felt herself letting go piece by piece, as his hand and hook roamed her body, pressing her back against the wall, driving her insane. His lips moved from her mouth down her jaw to her neck, ravishing her with attention and Emma wanted more. She ground her body against him, until he urged her up to wrap her legs around him.

"I love you, Emma. And I'm here. I'm still here." Emma nearly cried at his whispered promise but then he was kissing her again and filling her just like she needed, just like she craved. She couldn't feel anything but him and this dizzying rhythm he set. It was the best remedy to the tensions that were racking her body still. He was here and he was hers, all hers forever and ever. She'd make sure of it.

Release was swift, for both of them, but as Emma came down from the pleasure Killian so readily bestowed on her, she knew she had to make amends. He might not expect the words, but he deserved them. She didn't want to fight Killian. She just wanted him to be okay.

"I'm sorry. I know you did the right thing. I know you saved me." Emma heard how soft her voice sounded, clouded thick with emotion, and Killian's eyes closed as he continued to hold her to him, their foreheads pressed together.

"I didn't mean to scare you, Emma. I saw the chance to see you safe and I took it." Emma ran her hand against his cheek and he leaned into it. God she loved him. That was the only reason she'd gotten as upset as she had.

"I know. I love you." It was such a basic statement, but undoubtedly true all the same.

"I love you too. More than anything, and I've no intentions of leaving you again." Emma smiled, despite everything they'd been through because he was the one who sounded hopeful now. He was the one bringing her belief.

"Keep fighting for me. Even if I fight you back. Even if I get scared."

"Aye love, I plan to." Emma laughed a bit, and then looked back in his blue eyes. He'd mentioned her future, the one they could have together, and in that moment, Emma knew she was ready to start it now.

"About those future kids…" The look in Killian's eyes made their already piercing nature all the more intense. They shone so blue there was no likeness for them anywhere else.

"Yes?"

"I don't think we should wait. If today showed me anything it's that we can't afford to. I don't want to miss out on our life together." Killian grinned, and Emma's heart clenched at how happy he looked.

"You're sure, Emma?"

"Yes. As long as you're the one by my side through everything." Killian wrapped her back up in his arms, pulling a surprised squeal from Emma. Without any further discussion he brought her upstairs to their bedroom, clearly determined to get started on her wish right away.

The future, in the end, was happy, and despite all the obstacles and all the roadblocks in their path, Emma and Killian found their way through hand in hand. Every day they held one truth steady in their hearts and it was simply that love is worth fighting for.

That fight granted them a chance to have the happily ever after they both worked so hard towards with the house and the kids and the countless years together. And whenever things got crazy, whenever Emma doubted or feared or worried, Killian was always there to remind her that they were destined for greatness, the two of them, side by side.

…..

 _Hold tight… mama always said_

 _It's alright… no need to be afraid_

 _Confusion is the damndest thing_

 _One day you're flying_

 _The next you've lost your wings_

 _But I'm getting tired of all the fronting_

 _It feels like I'm running on empty for nothing_

 _Now I'm telling you I cant take no more_

 _Cause I feel the weight of the world on me_

 _And tell me the truth that it's not in vain_

 _Broken promises they cant be saved_

 _To this day I believe there's no shame_

 _Because love is worth fighting for_

 _When it takes you_

 _It's the grandest thing_

 _It will make you_

 _It will break you just the same_

 _But I'm getting tired of all the fronting_

 _It feels like I'm running on empty for nothing_

 _Now I'm telling you I cant take no more_

 _Cause I feel the weight of the world on me_

 _And tell me the truth that it's not in vain_

 _Broken promises they cant be saved_

 _To this day I believe there's no shame_

 _Because love is worth fighting for_

 _Love is worth, love is worth, love is worth fighting for_

 _Tell me now_

 _Wont you tell me now?_

 _Wont you tell me now?_

 _Can you tell me now?_

 _Can you tell me now?_

 _Is it worth the fighting for?_

 _Now I'm telling you I cant take no more_

 _Cause I feel the weight of the world on me_

 _And tell me the truth that it's not in vain_

 _Broken promises they cant be saved_

 _To this day I believe there's no shame_

 _Love is worth, love is worth, love is worth fighting for_

 _Love is worth, love is worth, love is worth fighting for_

 _Yes I said it, love is worth, love is worth, love is worth fighting for_

 _I said love is worth, love is worth, love is worth fighting for_

 _ **Post-Note: Needed me some angst turned smut turned fluff today guys. I can't really explain it, but it had to happen. I hope that you all enjoyed, even if this is a post-underworld style I've explored before. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed and that all is well with you! Thanks for reading!**_


	92. Say You Love Me

_**A/N: Modern AU oneshot where Emma and Killian have been dating for a while but they haven't said I love you yet. A bit of anxiety to getting there, but of course there's a confession and then some smut for good measure. Inspired by a reader request for 'Say You Love Me' by Jessie Ware which is such a good song and has also sparked a potential multichapter idea for a later date. Hope you all enjoy!**_

Walking hand in hand with Killian back to her apartment, Emma couldn't help but think they'd had the perfect night. A romantic dinner, and a walk along the beach, it was as close to magical as she could fathom and Killian made it all the more wonderful with his usual thoughtfulness. In truth Emma had been filled with excitement all night. Six months into this thing between them and she still had butterflies.

Who was she kidding? This had surpassed butterflies eons ago. Emma felt like a live wire when they touched, like a kid on Christmas anytime he asked her out on another date, and like she was in the safest place in the world anywhere he held her in his arms. Now she was going to invite him in and she knew what was in store for her, more of the best sex of her life with the hottest guy she'd ever seen. It was all nearly too good to be true.

 _You're going to mess it up somehow._ The little voice inside Emma's head, the one that didn't believe that love worked thanks to all her baggage and a less than stellar history popped into her mind and Emma forced it back. She wasn't going to let her doubts ruin the evening with Killian, but then he stopped short just before her door.

"I can't come in tonight, love." Emma's eyes flicked up to his. She hadn't expected that, not even in the slightest. Hell, he'd been giving her even stronger vibes than usual tonight and she was certain that all the tension between them was going to lead to some amazing fireworks tonight. The thought that he wouldn't be here… well it hurt.

"Oh. Well, I had a really good time tonight," Emma said now unsure of what to do or what to say, and Emma saw Killian's confliction in his eyes. He was holding back from her right now, and Killian never held back. He never lied, he never misled her, and it was why she trusted him so fully. It was the reason she'd let her passed her walls in the first place.

When he'd asked her out months ago Emma wondered for only a moment if he was like everyone else who came into the bar where she worked looking to pick up the pretty blonde bartender, but he'd proven her wrong time and time again. He was a gentleman but powerful, in control of himself so fully that he never had to control her. She felt free with Killian. She'd never felt free before, at least not like this.

"Is everything okay?" Emma asked, now worrying that she'd done something to upset him, but Killian's only response was to pull her in, flush against him for a demanding, sensual kiss. It was the kind of kiss she felt all the way down to her toes, pulsing through her with lust and something more.

Love. The other thing embedded in this kiss was love, but when they pulled apart, both a little breathless, the words didn't come from either of them. Instead Killian took her hand in his, running his thumb across her knuckles lightly before placing a kiss to the top of her hand. It was so sweet, it made her heart ache slightly, almost like it was a goodbye, instead of a 'see you soon' like every other kiss they shared was.

"Goodnight, Emma." Emma searched his blue eyes once more, but in the end she chickened out on asking him anymore. Instead she bid him goodnight, heading into her apartment and closing the door behind her. She leaned against the cool wood feeling like a part of her had just been severed. Why hadn't he stayed? Why hadn't she asked him to stay?

In the span of ten seconds, Emma felt waves of emotion crashing over her. Her fear and trepidation were there, singing up a storm about how she could get hurt by telling him, but the worst of her worry came from the thought that she might be too late. Maybe she'd waited too long. Maybe despite the fact that she'd never been in love with anyone like this before, she hadn't been open enough. How could Killian know how she felt unless she told him? Unless she showed him.

With that thought in mind, Emma turned around quickly, grabbing the doorknob with every intention of chasing after him but when the door whipped open he was there, hands on either side of the door frame. He looked defeated for a moment but then he saw her eyes, and the hope she was used to was back.

"Stay with me." Okay so that was close. It was three words, but still not the three words he needed.

"Emma -," She could feel the panic rising in her chest. Damnit he was going to say no, she couldn't let him say no when she was ready to say yes. For the first time in her life she felt ready.

"I love you." His whole demeanor changed at the words.

"You do?" Emma nodded, biting her lip, now a little worried that he hadn't said it back.

"Yes. I didn't mean for this happen. But you… you chipped away the pieces of me that couldn't do this. Now I can't stop. I love you. I love you, Killian and it's a scary, big, hopefully this is forever kind of love." Then Killian's arms were wrapped around her and the smile on his face was lighting up her entire world.

"I have loved you since that first night, Emma, and I will love you forever, that I promise you. The only reason I tried to leave was because I thought I couldn't hold back on saying how I feel. I didn't want to chase you away if you weren't ready, but I'm weak and I was seconds away from knocking on your door anyway." Emma heard a happy laugh emit from her chest, one caused by such profound relief and gratitude that it couldn't be contained.

"So you'll stay?" Killian moved them inside the apartment and shut the door, bolting it shut behind him.

"Just try getting rid of me, love." With that, Killian pinned her against the door. The shift from soft to lusting and heated made Emma dizzy in the best possible way. Then he was kissing her again, and Emma was powerless to do anything but succumb to this man who she loved and who loved her back.

The kiss devolved into passion and desire, but Emma needed more, wanting all of him right here, right now. When his mouth broke away from hers and kissed down her jaw and onto her neck, she tried to catch her breath, but it was so much harder than it should have been. She was too consumed with him to even think straight.

"We haven't had sex against the door yet." Emma noted when she finally found her voice, wanting to see his eyes again. The responding growl from him left her flushed with wanting and he pulled back to look into her eyes, his a piercing blue that electrified her.

"Much as I'd love to fuck you senseless right here, Emma, you just told me you love me, and I'll be damned if I don't make love to you. I want you falling apart, screaming you love me all night long." Emma gulped at his words and felt as every word he said shot straight to her sex, her anticipation growing.

With deft fingers, Killian quickly undid the zipper on her dress, urging her to step out of it which Emma readily did. Then, without further ado, he was carrying her to her bedroom, setting her down on the big, plush bed and coming over her, his gaze leaving tingles of awareness wherever they moved.

Impatient for this to go faster, Emma quickly unclasped her bra and threw it across the room. The flash of desire in his eyes filled her with pride and confidence. She'd very specifically chosen her red lace lingerie for the evening and to see him so affected was well worth it. He looked just about ready to devour her.

"You're skipping steps, love. I won't be rushed even as you tempt me with your gorgeous body."

"Fine, but you need to lose the clothes. Now."

"As you wish, love." Killian grinned, stepping back to strip away his clothing, far slower than Emma wanted, but damn if it didn't have exactly the effect he intended. She was on the edge already and he'd barely touched her, barely kissed her. Killian had all sorts of ideas about what he wanted from her tonight, but Emma had some thoughts for him as well, and the fantasies flying around in her mind right now made her lick her lips absentmindedly.

" _Fuck_ , Emma! Stop looking at me like that." Now it was Emma's turn to grin wickedly.

"Like what?" She was toying with him, watching Killian's body tense at her tone. He was just as strung out with the feelings as she was, and if she really wanted, she could make him crack, push him further and get exactly what she wanted.

"You know exactly like what. You're a bloody siren as you very well know." Then his hands were on her, moving to touch her breasts first and setting her skin on fire.

Emma moved back to spread out on the bed and luxuriated in the feel of him, kissing her neck and working her nipple with his hand. Soon enough his mouth moved down to join in the endeavor and eventually Emma thought she'd expire from how good it felt. As if knowing this, Killian moved his hands down lower across the expanse of her stomach to the seam of her panties and pulled back from her breasts.

"Tell me you're mine, Emma. And before you ask, I'm talking forever here." She nodded wordlessly but he laughed. "I want to hear you say it, love."

"God yes, I'm yours!" Her words were rewarded when his fingers slipped past the damp material and honed in on her clit. Her hips moved of their own volition up to his hand as she sought out the glorious friction that his lazy circles created. She was so close to her peak she could practically taste it.

"Now tell me you love me." Emma sighed from the pleasure, her eyes closing at the gruff demand in his voice.

"I love you." The next thing she knew Emma was tumbling into her orgasm immediately as Killian gave her just what she'd needed, and exactly what she'd craved.

As Emma came down from the high, Killian's hands made quick work of stripping the last scrap of lace from her body as he kissed down her stomach to where she wanted his mouth the most. The scruff of his beard against her bare flesh drove the wanting in her higher and hotter. Everything about Killian drove her absolutely crazy, and no one ever made her want as much as he did. Emma was certain no one ever would, nothing would ever feel this right with anyone else. When he placed a kiss to her thigh, right beside where she so wanted him Emma cried out.

"Killian!" The desperation in her voice wasn't lost on Emma, but she didn't care. He knew exactly what he was doing, and if he went any slower she was going to scream.

"What is it, Swan?" She felt his smile against her thigh and groaned.

"Don't tease me, I need you." She felt him exhale a warm breath on her aching flesh and lost her train of thought.

"Tell me what you want, Emma." Had he always been this demanding and this talkative in bed? He must have been right? But Emma didn't have words right now, she just had so much pent up feeling she felt about to burst.

"I want your mouth on me." No sooner had she uttered the words than he was doing just that, sending her into a heated frenzy the likes of which Emma had never experienced.

Her whole body was flooded with sensations and her hands moved to tangle in his hair bringing him closer. With the suction of his mouth on her clit and the finesse of his tongue against her she crashed into a climax that left her breathless. As he'd wanted, the words rushing passed her lips were ones of love and affirmation, yet he didn't stop, slowly working her up to another one and only finally breaking away when he'd sent her careening into ecstasy once again.

When Killian finally came back up and pressed a kiss on her lips, Emma tasted herself on his tongue and somehow she was riled again. It would never be enough, and if Emma was honest with herself, she'd always known that, from the first moment their eyes locked in the bar. Sometimes things just clicked, and even if it had scared her to death, she'd been his since the moment he said his name in introduction, reaching across the bar to shake her hand.

"You are perfect, Emma. Sometimes I wonder if you're even real." She hadn't expected the sweet sincerity in that moment, but Emma should have. For months Killian had been showing her how he felt. He looked at her like she was everything, treated her like a princess while also believing she could handle herself. He saw her flaws and didn't try to change her. But still he wanted her. The thought made her heart sing.

"I'm real. We're real. I promise." That was all it took for him to close the space between them and shift them so his hard cock was at her entrance. Slowly he inched inside, filling her with this sense of perfect she didn't ever want to end, and at first she thought it never would. Killian was taking his damn time, keeping to his word of enjoying this as long as he could, but eventually slow and languid made way for hard and fast until they both came and lay together spent on the bed.

"Say it again, Emma." Killian said as he held her in his arms a few moments later. Emma was facing him, staring into his contented gaze, and now it felt like the last barrier had fallen away. They were all in this, together.

"Say what?" Emma teased, loving the growl of feigned frustration that came from him.

"Say you love me." Emma's fingertips came to trace along his jaw lightly.

"I love you. More than I can ever put into words." Killian's eyes closed as he pulled her closer, the relief evident as he heard the words out loud again.

"You're moving in with me." He murmured the words into her hair.

"What?" Emma asked, laughing at the statement. Killian pulled back to look her in the eyes and she saw the seriousness there.

"And you're going to marry me." Emma raised a brow at that, but inside her heart was pounding like crazy. As his lips came to brush her temple.

"I am?" Killian nodded as he kissed her cheek.

"We're going to have those four kids you want." Emma nearly groaned, remembering that he'd gotten that out of her when they'd been playing a drinking game two months back, but still it sounded perfect.

"We are?" Killian smiled, cradling her face in his hand before kissing her lightly on the lips once more.

"And we're going to live happily ever after." Emma felt tears welling in her eyes.

"You seem to have it all planned out. Do I get a say in any of this?" Killian studied her, and Emma swore she saw the whole fairytale he was promising in those deep blue eyes of his. His honesty, his love, it was all there right at the surface, clear as day.

"Aye, love. You have all the power, but I've already won your heart and I intend to win forever too." Emma ran her hand across his chest, letting it rest above his heart.

"Good."

Killian did of course win forever, and it took very little time to do so because both Emma and Killian now understood that time was precious, just as precious as the love between them. From that day on they never left their truth unspoken, and the walls between them were gone for good. Life was filled with love and light, and the dreams they charted were better than they ever dared to hope, all because they found those three little words that meant the world when said by the right person: _I love you._

….

 _Say you love me to my face  
I need it more than your embrace  
Just say you want me, that's all it takes  
Heart's getting torn from your mistakes_

 _'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
If you don't wanna try,  
But all that I've been thinking of  
Is maybe that you're mine  
Baby it looks as though we're running out of words to say  
And love's floating away_

 _Just say you love me, just for today  
And don't give me time 'cause that's not the same  
Want to feel burning flames when you say my name  
Want to feel passion flow into my bones  
Like blood through my veins_

 _'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
If you don't wanna try,  
But all that I've been thinking of  
Is maybe that you're mine  
Baby it looks as though we're running out of words to say  
And love's floating away_

 _Won't you stay?!  
Won't you stay?!  
Slowly, slowly you run for me,  
But do you know me at all  
Some one told me love controls everything  
But only if you know!_

 _'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
(No no no no)  
If you don't wanna try,  
'Cause all that I've been thinking of  
Is maybe that you're mine  
(You're mine)  
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
If you don't wanna try,  
But all that I've been thinking of  
Is maybe that you're mine  
Baby it looks as though we're running out of words to say  
And love's floating away  
Won't you stay  
Won't you stay_

 _ **Post-Note: Just some excessively fluffy feels for good measure on this lovely Saturday. I am also missing the mixtape pretty badly with these four stories I have going on at once, so I am making sure that in future I don't have so many multichapters going at one time. Thank you to my lovely reader for the song prompt, and to all my readers who send them to me. I love getting your input on what songs are good for CS, and it's always that much more fun to write a fic when the song has already been chosen. Anyway, have a lovely weekend and thanks for reading!**_


	93. Scared of Happy

_**A/N: This chapter of the mixtape is a rewrite of Emma and Killian's reuniting in the middle of 4x23. This time, Emma doesn't just thank him for sacrificing himself, she says she loves him with no drama and no big bad. There is of course conversation about Killian's sacrificial tendencies (which I feel like I cover a lot in these rewrites) but the best part is that Emma is braver in this version, and I get to pretend I got the moment I really wanted from the show. Inspired by an awesome acoustic version of Fifth Harmony's song 'Scared of Happy' that I found on youtube recently.**_

Running from the town square back to the loft, Emma couldn't think of anything but finding Hook. He'd sacrificed himself for her and for everyone, and he hadn't even realized what they meant to each other when he did. His altered counterpart didn't know the looks they shared, or the touches. He didn't remember their moments, or the ways they always seemed to find each other even in the darkest of times, but Emma did and one of the most upsetting parts about it was that she loved him. She'd been in love with him for a while and she never said anything. If she was to late to say those words, she didn't think she'd ever forgive herself.

Emma's whole body shook from the fear coursing through her even as she made her way through the streets of Storybrooke. How could she not when Killian had put her through the ringer by dying in front of her? Now she was covered in the thick haze of anxiety and pain. Yes, Emma had lost people before, she'd even lost love before, but it never felt like this. Her heart had been ripped from its chest when she watched Killian die and she knew the wound would never heal, not unless he was still alive. She needed him, and he needed to be okay.

 _Please let him be all right. Please dear God, let Killian be all right,_ Emma prayed as she took the stairs up to the loft two at a time.

"Where is he?!" Emma asked, flinging the door open to the apartment, not able to greet her parents in any other way when Killian was on the line. "Where's Hook?"

"Uh, he was there – right before we got dragged away." Her father pointed towards the spot where he'd been before and Emma felt sick to her stomach, because no one was there. There was a storybook and papers on the floor but no Killian.

Emma swore she felt her heart cracking in half but she couldn't accept this, couldn't believe this was the end. It was beyond comprehension. They had so much left in their story, didn't they? Killian was supposed to be her happily ever after. She'd started to believe – no he'd _made_ her believe – that a life filled with that pure happiness everyone was always going on about was possible. But without him, there was no chance it would ever come to be.

"Everyone reappeared where they were before this whole mess started." Saying the words aloud was uttering a truth Emma couldn't bear.

Reality came crashing down. What were the chances he'd be okay if he wasn't right where he'd been when they left? Slowly Emma's body filled with dread and despair, and she felt herself ready to completely break apart in a way she'd never done before. No one had ever been so close to her heart except for Henry, and certainly no one had ever made her feel like she was enough, like loving her was a gift instead of a curse. Only Killian had been able to break through her walls and let in some light into the loneliness. Now he was gone.

"No." The whispered desperation of her tone filled the room and Emma felt herself ready to fall apart, and then she heard him. She heard that gloriously teasing tone of Killian's and she felt all her hope come rushing back to the forefront.

"Yeah sorry about the mess. I really needed to find that book. I'm usually a bit tidier." Emma would kill him right here and right now for putting her through that if he wasn't the love of her life. She swore she would because for a minute there she'd been paralyzed, feeling so helpless, but there he was, leaning with that cocky sort of attractiveness against a pillar, and she just… needed him.

Running up the steps Emma felt her panic subsiding as she came to hold him, feeling his warmth and his life and thanking whatever higher power was at play for him and for this chance. This was way too close a call, and as long as she lived Emma never wanted to feel this way again, because to lose Killian was to lose a part of herself, one of the best parts.

"Killian!" He laughed and so did she, because if she didn't she'd cry, tears of earlier sadness and tears of relief and joy and wonder. He was alive, and he was here!

When they fell onto the bed and he made a surprised sound, Emma couldn't help but giggle. She, Emma Swan, _actually_ giggled because she was so overcome with happiness. Killian had helped her become this person who wanted things, and wanted love. It was amazing, and right now they had a moment to enjoy it, to appreciate it. Emma had her chance to say the things she'd left unsaid. She pulled back up to look at him, unable to contain her smile, holding his hand in hers, never wanting to ever let go again.

"How many times, do I have to tell you love? I'm a survivor. Look, I didn't mean to cause any panic. I woke moments before your parents and came up here looking for your boy." Of course he did, because that was Killian, looking out for the people who mattered to Emma, protecting this family and protecting her in the process.

"He's fine. Henry's fine. I'm just… glad you are too."

 _Now's the moment. I have to tell him. I have to tell Killian I love him._ Still as the words silently moved through her brain, Emma hesitated, she felt a little afraid still and she couldn't explain it.

Despite what she'd said to Regina back in the Enchanted Forest, part of Emma was too petrified to confess her feelings. No romance in her life had ever meant this much to her, and this love, this tie she had for Killian so far surpassed anyone else she'd ever known. She was out of her depths here, and though she wanted to say it, though she wanted to give him her truth, she held back.

"What is it?" Emma sighed, pulling Killian up with her. Okay here it was, the moment.

"When I… watched you die… I was afraid I was never going to get a chance to tell you something."

"Tell me what?" The patience in his eyes, the quiet show of supporting her even as she struggled to say these words were what pushed her over the edge.

"I love you."

There they were, three little words but you would have thought Emma had given Killian a kingdom. The way his face lit up at her confession, the way all that hope he'd been carrying was made worth it because Emma was honest, well it prompted her to say more, to say everything.

"And I'm terrified because you're passed my walls, you're in my heart Killian and I can't let you go. Part of me is screaming at me to run, to protect myself before I get hurt, but I don't want to. You make me want to stay when no one else has."

Killian pulled her in for a kiss, demanding and passionate, the kind of kiss they'd shared before but magnified. Truth, it turned out, had a funny way of heightening everything, and Emma felt freer and less weighted down because she'd said she loved him.

"I love you too, Emma. More than I can ever properly put into words. You are everything to me, and I promise never to let you regret letting me in." Emma ran her hand along his cheek, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. The honesty there soothed away any lingering tension, and now all that remained was happiness.

"Just promise me one more thing." Killian responded immediately.

"Anything, Swan."

"No more sacrificing yourself. You saved us all Killian, and I can never say how thankful I am. Henry, my parents, everyone is here today because of what you did, but I can't take the risk that someday we won't get so lucky. You're back, you're alive but I don't ever want to know this feeling again. So promise me." Killian smiled, taking her hand in his and kissing her palm lightly. The sweet gesture set little zings of pleasure through her.

"I promise to use every trick at surviving I know so that I may never have to leave your side." Emma heard the way he walked around the sacrifice element, but that was a conversation that could be saved for later. Right now she just wanted to luxuriate in the happiness between them.

"Good." Emma brought him in for another kiss, this time pushing him down on the bed again. She reveled in the little growl that came from him and suddenly she was swarmed with all sorts of ideas of how they could properly express their love until she heard someone clear their throat.

 _Damn it!_ Emma remembered too late that her parents were still here, and she bit back a groan. This was definitely not the time to have a Charming family conversation, not when the one thing on her mind was immersing herself in Killian.

"We _really_ need to get our own place," Emma said off handedly, and when she saw the surprise on Killian's face her brow furrowed. "What?"

"You said we, love."

Emma blinked at him, knowing full well what she'd said. Then she realized, aside from saying she loved him, Emma wasn't exactly winning any awards for outwardly planning happily ever afters. But that was going to change. Coming this close to losing him was the wake up that she needed. They loved each other and at the end of the day her parents were right: Life was about finding the good moments, and she wanted to spend as many of hers as she possibly could with Killian. Emma laughed lightly at the unrestrained hope and desire on his face.

"What, don't think you can handle it?" Killian's eyes warmed.

"I can think of very few things that would bring me more joy, love." Emma felt herself sigh happily as she moved off of the bed, taking his hand in hers again and heading back down stairs to face the music. To say she was not surprised when she found her father with his arms crossed and her mother wiping away tears was an understatement. It was exactly what she'd expected.

"Let me guess, you guys eavesdropped on that entire conversation." They nodded and Emma smiled. "Great, then we don't need to talk about it."

"But Emma -," Her mother's words were cut off when Emma flicked her wrist using a puff of white magic and transporting her and Killian to his room at Granny's.

"Now, where were we?" Emma asked only for Killian to remind her and to show her not just what they could have for now, but forever.

…..

 _It's been a while since I was lost for words  
Need I wasn't static and stutters...  
I never knew a love that doesn't hurt  
Feeling the heat and the burn..._

 _Just give me one good reason  
Drop everything and leave it  
Seconds away from turning this car back around  
Something about your feeling, pushing and pulling me in  
And now my walls fall down!_

 _Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
I'm afraid of nothing, I'm afraid of no one  
Used to be fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Scared of happy..._

 _There is something good in sticking to your guns  
No one to blame but yourself  
I take a step back and I breathe for once  
This is what I want_

 _You give me one good reason  
Drop everything and leave it  
Seconds away from pulling up outside your door  
Something about your feeling, pushing and pulling me in  
That's why I come back for more_

 _Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
I'm afraid of nothing, I'm afraid of no one  
Used to be fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Scared of happy_

 _When it all goes down, when it all goes down  
Will you still be around?  
I'm coming back, no more running away_

 _Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
I'm afraid of nothing, I'm afraid of no one...  
Used to be fearless, why am I scared of happy?_

 _Why am I scared of happy? Scared of happy  
Why am I scared of happy? Scared of happy  
Why am I scared of happy? Scared of happy  
Why am I?  
Used to be fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
I'm afraid of nothing, I'm afraid of no one  
Used to be fearless, why am I..._

 _(Why am I scared of happy...?)_

 _ **Post-Note: Okay there we have it! Today's little rewrite that gives me fluff sooner than I actually got it. Rewatching this scene actually made my heart hurt, especially the part where you see Killian's eyes dim a little at her saying thank you, but now I have this version and I am pretending that this is what happened. I hope that you guys enjoyed and thanks so much as always for reading.**_


	94. Thunder In The Rain

_**A/N: This is a quick CS as high school seniors AU where Killian and Emma are dating and Killian snuck over to her house to steal a kiss. Only problem is he comes in the middle of a thunderstorm. Queue cuteness and fluff, and some great Snowing parent feels as they deal with the visit. Inspired by 'Thunder In the Rain' by Kane Brown.**_

There was a time when summer storms were one of Emma Swan's favorite things. As a child, she'd never feared them, learning from her parents that with the thunder and lightening and rain came healing for them all. With each storm came relief from the heat, and water in a long summer to keep life going. At one point her mother even called it natures form of music, insisting that the rolls of thunder was the beat, and the lightening was a light show to match.

Emma used to stare outside for hours and watch the way the world lit up even on the darkest nights. It was a fierceness so striking she could never do anything but wonder at its beauty and strength. But that was before, and now, the storm waging war outside was a sign that she wouldn't get her nightly visit from Killian.

Six months. That's how long they'd been together and each and every day Emma fell more and more in love with him. Yes they were young, she heard that over and over again from people all through her life, but she also knew that this was different. Their story wasn't one of youthful ignorance and infatuation, it was forever, Emma could feel it in her gut. Just like her parents before her, Emma had found love young and she would be damned if she ever let it get away from her.

That wasn't to say she and Killian weren't a little reckless. They were eighteen after all, just on the cusp of leaving for college and trying to make the most of every moment. They spent nearly all their time together, but still they wanted more, and Killian had found a way for them to have it. Every night, whether they'd been together or not, Killian climbed up the big maple tree in her front yard and came to her window for a kiss. They never did anything more than that, for Killian was adamantly against them betraying her parent's trust (which he'd worked so hard to earn), but it was enough to make Emma feel special and loved and completely content.

Emma lay back in her bed, staring at the ceiling, cursing this storm for keeping her from her new favorite tradition, when a sudden tapping at her window shook Emma out of her daydream and she looked to see, Killian staring back at her. What was he doing here? How had he even braved the storm?

"Killian?!" Emma said, opening her window and letting him inside just as a crack of lightening brightened the sky and the telltale sound of raindrops began pounding on the glass pane. He'd just made it inside before the downpour, but Emma could see he hadn't been fully spared from rain. But Emma was so happy to see him that she threw herself into his arms, not caring what he looked like.

"Surprised to see me, Swan?" Emma pulled back nodding.

"Of course I am. Are you crazy?!" Killian grinned, his hand cupping her cheek and warming her through in the process.

"Crazy about you." Emma shook her head at that. She would call him out for the sheer corniness of those words, but how could she when he'd braved this just to come and see her? She melted at the gesture, pulling him down for a kiss.

Because they were inside the house instead of kissing through the window tonight, Emma let herself go further with the kiss than they usually did during these visits. Her fingers ran through Killian's dark hair, which was getting just a little longer from the unruliness of summer. Emma arched closer, reveling in the feel of his arms around her and wanting to be as close as she possibly could be. Her whole body felt on fire as if Killian was the lightening strike lighting the night up outside.

Nothing compared to this feeling. Even months after their first kiss, Emma still felt so wrapped up in him, floating on air just from the feel of his lips on hers. It was crazy, electric, a storm in itself, and she always fell so easily into this bliss with him. She was lost to the sensation, pulling him closer until reality set in and she pushed him back, whispering.

"How are you going to get home? It looks bad out there." Emma's eyes flicked to the window, and even though she knew Killian lived only a block or so away, she worried. He was risking so much to come here, to see her.

"Same way I got here in the first place. I've faced worse, love. Besides, nothing could keep me away." Emma blushed at the praise held firmly in his tone, as his thumb ran across the corner of her mouth. Even in the dark she could see the way he looked at her, and the love with which he saw her. If ever there was any doubt that he loved her, it would crumble to that look.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Killian kissed her lightly once more, calming Emma only the tiniest bit.

"I'll be alright, Emma. I promise." But just as Killian was about to head back towards the window, Emma's bedroom door flew open.

"Absolutely not! You are not going out in that storm, Killian Jones!"

Emma gaped at her mother who now stood there, holding her little sister Eva in her arms. Behind her mother was an eager looking Neal, Emma's seven-year-old brother, and her father who appeared the opposite of his son. David Nolan looked _mad_ , and Emma felt herself shrinking a bit under his gaze. She could only imagine how Killian felt.

"Come downstairs. I'm making cocoa." The command was given with authority sure, but far less disappointment or anger than she expected, and though her father was still staring daggers at Killian, Emma felt like her mother was weirdly okay with this.

Coming back to herself from the internal considerations, Emma stepped in front of Killian and looked at her father dead on, trying to decide which route to take. Sure she could be Daddy's little girl right now, or she could be like her mother. She decided for the latter.

"No killing my boyfriend, please." Her father looked a little shocked at the words, and Emma saw the trace of a smile before he sobered up again.

"Who said anything about killing? That would be too easy." Emma groaned, pulling Killian behind her. She heard Killian mumble about her only upsetting her father more, but Emma didn't care. They were found out as it was and if they were going to get a lecture, she at least wanted some cocoa to go with it.

At first the kitchen was quiet, aside from the motions of Mary Margaret getting the cocoa together and the babbling of Eva. The room would fill with the crash of the thunder outside, but Emma waited for her parents to make the first move. As they sat at the kitchen counter, Emma held Killian's hand in hers, half afraid he would move away, but he didn't, intertwining his fingers instead and urging her to let go of the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Finally her mother turned around giving Emma a confused look. Mary Margaret set down the cocoa in front of Emma and Killian and then moved her hand to her hip.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Emma answered honestly.

"I'm waiting for you to yell or… _something_." Her mother waved her hand sipping at her own cocoa.

"Emma, your father and I know about the late night visits. Killian is hardly quiet scaling the tree and he goes right by Neal's room to get to yours." Emma's jaw dropped.

"Wait what?!" Neal smiled from his spot beside Mary Margaret.

"I wave every time but Killian doesn't see me." Now Emma looked over to see Killian who was blushing and running a hand through his hair.

"So you knew all this time?" Emma asked. Mary Margaret nodded as she took her husband's hand.

"Yup."

"And you just didn't think to say anything?" Emma didn't understand what was happening. They should be angry at her, right? This was against the rules, wasn't it?

"Well we had to tonight. We couldn't let Killian go back out in the storm."

"So I'm not in trouble?" Her father laughed at Emma's blunt question.

"You're not, but Killian -," Mary Margaret shushed her husband.

"Is not in trouble either." David grumbled. "Even if he almost got himself killed in this storm. No more of that."

"Yes, ma'am." Mary Margaret nodded.

"Is there a punch line coming, or something?" Emma asked.

"Emma, you're leaving for college in a few weeks. Hard as it is for you to believe, your father and I were young once, and a few stolen kisses is hardly the infraction of the century."

Emma knew that, but she was surprised her parents saw it that way. Emma shot another look at her father and her mother supplemented.

"Your father is all bark and no bite. Killian's given him no reason not to trust him, right David?" Emma's father grumbled back something that sounded slightly like agreement.

"Grandma Ruth told me one time Dad crashed Grandpa's truck in the pond because he was daydreaming about Mom." Emma's father bristled a bit before messing up Neal's hair.

"Hey that's not how it happened!" Neal just shrugged and Emma laughed.

"Looks like you worried all those nights for nothing, love." Killian offered quietly and Emma stared him down.

" _I_ worried? You were right there with me." Killian smiled.

"Aye I was. And I always will be." With that, they waited out the storm, and in the end Killian was right. The two of them always did manage to find each other and through their long, long life together, thunderstorms always seemed to hold a certain kind of charm.

…

 _Your lips, your eyes, don't wanna let go_ _  
_ _Your skin on mine, I'm losing control_ _  
_ _Hear the rumble in your chest,_ _  
_ _Fell the wind coming off your breathe_ _  
_ _Your curves ain't slow me down_ _  
_ _Ain't nothing gonna stop us now_ __

 _You're fire, I'm lightning_ _  
_ _We're burning at the core_ _  
_ _Falling and crashing,_ _  
_ _Girl we're the perfect storm_ _  
_ _Every time our hearts collide,_ _  
_ _I can feel I've come to live_ _  
_ _It's the same, baby_ _  
_ _We're like thunder in the rain_ __

 _Twisted, tangled like a hurricane_ _  
_ _We shake these walls like an earthquake_ _  
_ _Hear the rumble in your chest,_ _  
_ _Fell the wind coming off your breathe_ _  
_ _Awake, calling out my name_ _  
_ _Makes me hard to contain_ __

 _You're fire, I'm lightning_ _  
_ _We're burning at the core_ _  
_ _Falling and crashing,_ _  
_ _Girl we're the perfect storm_ _  
_ _Every time our hearts collide,_ _  
_ _I can feel I've come to live_ _  
_ _It's the same, baby_ _  
_ _We're like thunder in the rain_ _  
_ _We're like thunder in the rain_ __

 _You're fire, I'm lightning_ _  
_ _We're burning at the core_ _  
_ _Ah ahh ahh ah ah ah ah ah_ _  
_ _Falling and crashing,_ _  
_ _Girl we're the perfect storm_ _  
_ _Ah ahh ahh ah ah ah ah ah_ __

 _You're fire, I'm lightning_ _  
_ _We're burning at the core_ _  
_ _Falling and crashing,_ _  
_ _Girl we're the perfect storm_ _  
_ _Every time our hearts collide,_ _  
_ _I can feel I've come to live_ _  
_ _It's the same, baby_ _  
_ _We're like thunder in the rain_

 _ **Post-Note: It has become so abundantly clear to me that I should not be doing 4 multichapter stories at one time, mostly because it cuts down on my Mixtape one-shots. Trust me when I say that I have learned my lesson, and though it will take a while to be done with any of my stories, I won't be making the same decision again. Anyway, for those of my followers who prefer the mixtape, I thank you for your patience and hope you all enjoyed this little bit of AU fluff!**_


	95. Each Other

_**A/N: Short post 5-B oneshot for Emma and Killian and Henry sharing a cozy moment on a Friday night. There haven't been any big bads for a little while and there's some domestic cuteness in the form of a movie night with pizza. Not everything goes according to plan, but it's pretty much just a fluff fest with a dash of smut for good measure. Inspired by 'Each Other' by Katharine McPhee.**_

If you had asked Emma Swan what the strangest thing she'd faced in her time as savior was she wouldn't say slaying a dragon, or wielding magic, or traveling to places from storybooks. Instead, the strangest thing to Emma now was normalcy. For so long Emma had been fighting her way to some semblance of peace, and now they had it, a prolonged period of time where there were no meddling villains in sight. Adjusting to life like that after fighting for so long took some getting used to, but a few weeks in, Emma thought they might finally be there.

Emma grabbed the last of the paper plates and napkins they needed for pizza night and brought them to the coffee table in the living room as Henry moved through the movie collection for inspiration. He'd taken it upon himself to provide Killian with a cinematic education, and so far it was going pretty much as she expected.

Some movies Killian loved, usually for strange unanticipated reasons, and others were so distasteful he would argue through them whether with the characters, or the creators, or even the general populous that cared for the movie. But every time they watched something Emma found herself enjoying the time spent. Henry was excited to teach Killian about what he deemed the best parts of this world, and Killian was just excited to be with Emma and Henry. Meanwhile Emma got to see her kid happy all while Killian held her close on the couch. As far as peaceful moments went, this was pretty high up there on the relaxation scale.

Settling with her own slice of pizza and handing one to Killian, Emma watched her son carefully, knowing that if she wasn't observant he'd take advantage. True to form, Henry flirted with danger when his hand came to pause over the section where most of his favorite movies were congregated.

"Don't even think about it." Henry smiled, skipping the Star Wars DVDs that they'd all watched roughly a hundred times over the passed few weeks. She still heard Killian grumbling about how it was a good thought on Henry's part though.

"How about a superhero movie? It might be nice to watch someone else save the day for once." Henry asked and Emma nodded. Henry looked to Killian who gave the all clear too. Only then did a text sound from Henry's phone. Emma knew it meant Violet was sending a message, and she bit her lip, sensing what might be coming their way.

Henry quickly moved to check the message, and Emma's heart warmed in her chest when she saw the bright smile that came over her son's face. When it fell as he looked up to her and Killian, she knew he was worried about asking to go out when they were planning movie night. Emma was just about to say that he should go have fun and be a kid when Killian stepped in.

"You're not seriously thinking of missing the chance at seeing your girl to watch me curse that giant green monster, are you lad?" Henry grinned and shook his head.

"No. Even if it'll be hilarious. So can I go?" Killian looked to Emma who nodded to Henry and everything went pretty hastily from there. He was saying his goodbyes and heading out knowing he had to be back in a few hours for his curfew.

The front door shut behind Henry and Emma heard the silence that remained now that he'd gone. Well there went their plan for the evening, but as she looked over at Killian Emma had about a dozen ideas of what they could do instead. From the seductive grin he threw her way, she imagined his mind was just as actively advocating for some more mature activities.

"Seems we have the house all to ourselves," Emma said causally as Killian pulled her closer.

"So it does, love. Did you ever think this day would come?" Emma laughed at that. This day had come, a lot actually, in the past few weeks, and every time they had the chance to be alone it was like magic. Being with each other always made Emma and Killian happier, but after having little more than stolen moments for, well forever, it was fantastic to get the chance at more.

"I did. I think about it a lot, if you know what I mean." Killian moved in to kiss her, but Emma decided to do something she'd discovered really riled him up recently. With a flick of her wrist she used her magic to _poof_ upstairs, hearing him groan out loud and waited with bated breath for him to come find her.

"Emma, love, you know what it does to me when you run." Emma offered a wicked grin in return.

"But I'm running to this, to _you_." Killian shook his head even if he knew that she was right. What he was most frustrated about was how she'd taken the chance at moving through tonight at his pace away. Peacetime had brought slow, seductive, mind-numbingly good sex Killian to the forefront, but Emma didn't think she could wait through that tonight, thus the magical display.

Killian moved to kiss her and Emma felt the raw passion pulsing between them. None of this had faded over time. They didn't need a scarcity of moments to feel this pull between them. If anything, things were heightened, they knew each other better and had finally learned to hope that not every single interlude would be interrupted.

"This is far superior to watching those damn superheroes, love." Emma laughed, loving that he was still thinking of the movie. She knew in her heart that if Henry was still home, Killian would be happy to watch it, but as soon as her son left, so often did Killian's inclination for that pop culture education. Emma traced the collar of his shirt with her fingers lightly, enjoying the sort of hum that came from him at the motion.

"This is usually the part where you say something slightly cheesy and I roll my eyes." Killian grinned happily at that.

"But where's the fun in predictability, love?" With a quick movement that took Emma by surprise he had swept her up in his arms and carried her across the room to their bed. As he brought Emma back down, he made quick work of stripping his clothes and then hers, trailing kisses on the flesh he exposed and causing a flush to creep across her skin.

Emma wanted to answer, to keep the banter going, but hell if she could even form words when he looked at her this way, when he loved her this way. All thoughts of the back and forth fully flew away when he'd moved down her body and his mouth was on her where she wanted him most. She never had to say anything. He read her so fully, every breath, every sound every movement, and gave her everything she wanted.

"Killian!"

Killian smiled, taking a lot of pride in how much control he had over her pleasure. Emma could see that cocky look return that was nearly always here when they were together this way, and it only made her want him more. He should be confident because he was it for her forever. When she said as much though, she watched his look flash from confident to full blown lust.

Emma was rushing towards an orgasm that she knew would be swift, as worked up as she was by both him and the thoughts of this maybe being their new life. When she finally shattered, Killian moved back up her body, this time reverently whispering words of love along her skin. They melted her heart, while filling her up with so much more hope and happiness all the while in a way only Killian ever could. When she came back from her personal high, he was there, smiling down at her, and running his fingers through her hair.

"I love you," Emma said, watching the little bit of surprise that still came when she said that out loud. It quickly morphed into warmth and desire all over again.

"And I love you, Emma. More than anything."

The way his eyes shone with all of his feelings set Emma's pulse racing even more than it already was and she pulled him down for a demanding kiss. She felt so lucky to have this but she wanted more, she wanted everything in this moment. So she took it, relishing the look of somewhat surprise that came when Emma switched their positions and took some of the control back. And this time when she found her dazzling release, Killian was with her.

"You were right." Killian's brow raised from beside her and Emma smiled, nestling in closer to him. "This was way better than a superhero movie."

"Aye love." Killian pressed a kiss to her lips again lightly.

They allowed themselves a while more to just enjoy the time with each other and this life they had together, but ultimately remembered their task from Henry. By the time her son got home, they'd _just_ finished the movie, and Emma got to spend the rest of her evening in exactly the way she wanted – with two of the people who had her whole heart enjoying this new happily ever after.

…

 _Oh, oh.  
Yeah, yeah._

 _No more lonely nights to hurt me.  
No more tears left to spare.  
No more reasons to be unhappy.  
You threw them all up in the air._

 _And I don't know how you did it,  
But you made me a believer.  
I never thought that love  
Could turn someone into a dreamer.  
For the first time in my life  
I don't feel like a need a breather.  
Cause everywhere I go  
I wanna know you're gonna be there._

 _I'd give it all up for you...  
I'd give it all up for you.  
Do anything you asked me to...  
Anything you asked me to.  
And like a pillow we can hold on to.  
Cause we got each other.  
We got each other._

 _My loneliness has gone away.  
It left me here without a trace.  
And now I'm in a brand new place.  
Cause we got each other.  
Baby, we got each other._

 _Yeah, yeah._

 _And some times in the past almost pulled us under  
But we got through all that and it made us stronger  
Through the good, through the bad  
You just aint another  
youre the best thing i have and we got each other._

 _When the hard times confront me  
you always show me that you care  
and i believe you are my rescue  
when i see you right there_

 _And I don't know how you did it,  
But you made me a believer.  
I never thought that love  
Could turn someone into a dreamer.  
For the first time in my life  
I don't feel like a need a breather.  
Cause everywhere I'm gonna go  
I wanna know you're gonna be there._

 _I'd give it all up for you...  
I'd give it all up for you.  
Do anything you asked me to...  
Anything you asked me to.  
And like a pillow we can hold on to.  
Cause we got each other.  
We got each other._

 _My loneliness has gone away.  
It left me here without a trace.  
And now I'm in a brand new place.  
Cause we got each other.  
Baby, we got each other_

 _You are the hand that I reach for  
when I don't want to be alone  
you are the voice i hear at night  
lets me know ill be alright  
When i need a real good friend  
dont have to look far  
youre the best  
Im safe here in your arms  
and i know this is where i belong_

 _ **Post-Note: Hey all! Just the shortest little chapter today since I'm on vacation still, but domestic CS is so cute, I hope you'll forgive me for the length. I should be back to my normal schedule tomorrow or Sunday. Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely Friday and thanks as always for reading!**_


	96. Body Say

_**A/N: AU where Emma and Killian are neighbors in Boston. Emma gets home from a girls night only to stumble upon Killian who she has been crushing on since he moved in. Sparks fly and it is basically just a mini smut fest if I'm honest, but we then get a flash forward to see what happens with Emma and Killian in the future. I'm sure I have done a oneshot or two like this before, but hey, we can always use more fluff right? Inspired by 'Body Say' by Demi Lovato.**_

Walking back to her apartment door after an impromptu girl's night out, Emma expected some sort of contentment. She'd had a great time with her friends, dancing well into the evening at their favorite club all in the hopes of getting herself back together from the sort of daze she'd been in for weeks, but now she was back, feeling the same sinking feeling like something was missing.

 _Killian_. Her new neighbor's name rang out in her head and she closed her eyes, pressing her hand against her front door to lean on for just a moment. The incredibly sexy and surprisingly sweet tenant next door who'd moved in a few months back was rarely ever out of her mind these days, and tonight was no different. Yet now that she was back, away from the lights and pounding music, her want for him was only getting worse. Emma found herself thinking about what he was doing tonight, if he had someone with him in his apartment.

The thought ripped through her almost painfully. They'd never had anything more than friendly interactions up until now, but Emma found herself wondering more and more what it might be like to push things further. Her body was extremely vocal on the subject and the attraction she felt distracted her day in and day out, but her brain pushed back. She had walls for a reason, and even if he was charming and nice and hot as hell she shouldn't make exceptions. She was doing well enough alone and she should be thankful for that.

But rational thinking didn't really work when feelings ran this strong, which was crazy of course, because how much did Emma really know about him? Well, aside from the fact that he loved dogs and stopped to see each one living in the building when he passed them by. Or how he was as addicted to coffee as she was. Emma knew he liked classic rock if the singing through the walls that came every so often was anything to go off of. She knew he was slightly addicted to pizza but that he didn't have one set pizza place, getting his almost constant source of sustenance from places all across the city.

Oh, and she knew that those blue eyes of his watched her in a way no one else ever had. Sometimes she was convinced there was heat underneath the genuine kindness, but she couldn't really be sure, and Emma was petrified to make a move only for him to not actually be interested. She'd tried to say something forever, hating the feeling of powerlessness that came from biting her tongue, but the words never came and so Killian remained a big what-if in her life that she just so happened to live next door to.

Emma pulled back from the door to put her key in the lock only for his door to swing open. Killian stepped out into the hallway, his hair looking slightly disheveled as if he'd just run a hand through it quickly and Emma's fingers itched to do the same. In just jeans and a basic black t-shirt, he shouldn't have looked so ridiculously handsome but he did, and Emma felt spell bound for a moment, caught in place.

"Emma." Just her name, that was all that came from his lips but it felt like so much more, and Emma noticed him taking in her outfit. There was definitely appreciation there and that fact filled her with a happy rush of excitement. She knew she looked good in this little black dress, but somehow Killian's gaze felt more enticing than every guy she'd seen tonight.

"Hi." He stuttered a bit, in reply.

"Did you – I mean um, did you have a nice night?" Emma stared at him for a beat before nodding.

"Yeah, it was nice. How about you?" She asked and Killian waved his hand about in that way he did when he was trying to fill the space.

"Pretty low key really, but I tried that pizza place you mentioned on Huntington and I think you were right. It's perfect. Perhaps the search can end now." He was talking about pizza and Emma knew that, but in that moment his words struck her to the core. Maybe all these feelings she had boiling under the surface were telling her Killian was perfect for her and that the search could end with him too. The thought made her hope like nothing else ever had.

Deciding to just go with it before she could overthink everything, Emma moved forward, pulling him down for a kiss and instantly feeling the kind of sparks people only read about in books or watched in movies. In a second he was with her, meeting her at every point in the kiss and pulling her closer to and Emma couldn't remember ever feeling this good or this alive. It was like magic and it was real.

"Fuck, Emma. This is – I mean you are – well amazing. Really bloody amazing." Emma grinned at his stuttering. Watching this usually self assured guy fall apart from their kiss made her feel all the more wonderful.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time." He looked a little shocked.

"You have?! I mean, aye love I have to." Emma pulled him back down for another kiss, this time pulling him back towards her door and feeling him box her in against the hard wooden surface. He was so hard against her, his body firm and yet protective somehow. He kissed like a dream, but it wasn't enough. They'd been dancing around this for months and now Emma had to know if it could all really be as incredible as she'd been imagining.

"You want to come inside?" Emma finally asked and Killian nodded but then hesitated for a moment.

"I've never wanted anything more in my life, love, but I can't go in, not unless you understand that this won't be a one time thing. One taste of you won't ever be enough." Emma felt a shiver of anticipation coursing through her and something that felt an awful lot like love. He wanted her so fiercely, she could see it in his eyes and hear it in the thickness of his voice, and she wanted him to. For the first time in her life she was certain that this was exactly what she wanted.

"How serious are we talking here?" Emma asked teasingly but it seemed to go over Killian's head.

"As serious as we can get. I've been meaning to ask you out since the day I moved in, love, and though this is not exactly as I'd pictured it, I'd still want everything." Everything. Emma really liked the sound of that.

"It's not a one time thing. It's more." _So much more,_ Emma thought that last part to herself as Killian's lips came crashing down to hers again. In seconds they were inside her apartment, moving through the space to get to her bedroom. Neither of them could stand the wait when they'd been waiting all this time already.

"Tell me this is real, Emma, and not another dream." She came forward and helped him rip off his shirt. When it was gone, she traced a hand over the contour of his muscles, lingering on the hard lines of his body that were even better up close and in person than they were in her fantasies. Her hands moved down to the button his jeans. He was achingly hard for her and barely holding it together.

"If it's a dream I don't want to wake up." The breathiness in her words was a sound she'd never heard before but then again she should expect it. Things with Killian were different. All of this was so different than anything she'd ever known. Emma felt like her heart might pound out of her chest as she continued on. "But this feels real to me. It always has."

"What I feel for you is the realest thing I've ever known." Emma placed a gentle kiss to his lips but then he was spinning her around pressing kisses to her neck and then her shoulders as he unzipped her dress. Emma felt the teeth of the zipper moving down and giving to his efforts. She heard the subtle intake of his breath when he saw what she was wearing underneath and as she let the dress slip to the ground she turned around to watch the fire in his eyes in person.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Swan. Meeting you that first day I thought you must be the work of my own imagination, but here you stand, even more gorgeous than I could ever have known." Killian's hands moving along her body sent spirals of want through Emma, and when he traced the red lace she was wearing, Emma wished he would just rip it off of her. Instead he laid her back out on her bed and came above her, driving her crazy as he did.

Killian kissed her mouth then tore away, kissing her jaw, moving to her neck and down the valley of her breasts leaving Emma breathless as he went. When he unclasped the front opening of her bra, Emma readily tossed off the garment. The nips and sucks against her sensitive nipples he bestowed drove her nearly mindless until she was writhing beneath him.

"Killian!" He growled against her.

"I've always loved it when you say my name, Swan. But right now, needing me this much, it's all the sweeter." Emma tried to catch her breath as his fingers moved to the seam of her panties. She knew she was wet and ready with him, her desire so strong she'd never felt anything like it. Killian grinned as he pulled away from her breasts before kissing her mouth again. "You're so ready for me Emma."

"Always," her admission only stoked him further until Killian worked her clit with his thumb. He inserted a finger and then another, pleasuring her to a release she was all too primed for. But where Emma was seeing those bursts of light behind her eyes, only just coming off of her high, Killian was still insistent, kissing down her body to the place his hand had just been. Emma was transfixed and when he sucked her clit into his mouth she cursed out loud.

" _Fuck_ , Killian. Oh god I-," The words died on her lips as Killian hummed against her and the vibration caused her to shatter again. When her shaking stopped, Killian didn't pull away, slowly teasing her again and making her whole body flare back into heat once more.

"Killian it's too much!" Emma's pleas were half hearted though because she never wanted any of this to end. She'd happily spend forever in this bed with him. 

"It'll never be enough, love." Killian took his time perusing her body and what she liked this time. His meticulous attentions left her panting as he solely built her up until his fingers joined the fray and she was catapulted again. This time, he kissed his way back up her body.

"Why haven't we been doing this all along?" Emma asked as Killian chuckled against her.

"That I couldn't say, love. It's a damn shame. We have a lot of missed time to see to though, don't we?" Emma felt herself blushing, unable to handle how ridiculously hot he was talking this way. He was so open with what he wanted and so bluntly craving her.

When they came together, Emma had a moment of realization, one that clicked with everything else that had happened tonight. They fit too well together for this to be coincidence. Nothing should ever feel this good if it wasn't destiny and Killian made her believe in all those fantasies about finding the perfect someone for you. As he thrust inside her over and over, setting a tempo that was designed for her pleasure, Emma couldn't help but think that maybe they could have this always. The thought nearly did her in completely, and when his thumb brushed her clit she was gone, lost to the feeling and pulling him with her into another all consuming climax.

They lay there, wrapped up in each other for a while and though Emma in her past was the kind of person to hate the cuddling and the closeness, she couldn't seem to find that repulsion with Killian. His hands still traced over her body and then through her hair, leaving little zings of warmth in their wake. This felt right, the two of them together, and she couldn't help the smile fixed on her lips even if she tried.

"To think I almost didn't kiss you tonight," Emma said out loud and Killian's hold on her tightened.

"We were always going to happen love. Some day I was going to get my shit together enough to ask you." Emma laughed at that as he kissed her forehead. "But now I'm more grateful than I can ever say that you did. I don't want to waste another moment."

He took the words right out of her mouth, and luckily for both of them, they never wasted any more, taking care to see this thing between them through.

….

"Finally I have you right where I want you," Killian said as his hands came to wrap around Emma in the kitchen of the new house they'd just bought together. They'd just finished unpacking earlier that morning and were settling into this place that already felt like home.

"I always wondered if kitchen sex would be good. Our apartments were too small to really see." Emma could feel the effect her teasing had on Killian and enjoyed every second of it. She'd been doing this for a year now, and every time he rose to her challenges bringing them both a whole lot of happy in the process. It had been the best year of her life hands down.

"Not exactly what I meant love." Emma turned in his arms, running her hand over his chest.

"Oh I know. You were talking about the house in general, but if you think about it, we've really been living together forever. Something about you not being able to sleep without me." Killian kissed her at that, distracting Emma from her little bit of fun. When he pulled back he replied to her continued jokes.

"More like not being able to _live_ without you, Swan. And in two more weeks you'll be tied to me forever." Emma smiled, looking at her engagement ring as he said it and then back up into his eyes.

"I'm already tied to you, Killian. You're it for me." His lips came crashing back down to hers and his hands ran over her hips, moving under her shirt. They were seconds away from spiraling into an interlude they probably shouldn't risk seeing as they had friends coming for dinner in just a little while, but Emma was so tempted to just give in anyway.

"Now you brought up a good point about the kitchen, love. We should test your earlier theories I think." Emma arched towards him.

"Killian we can't. Everyone will be here soon." He smirked at that, his hands moving to the button of her jeans.

"That's your mind talking love. What does your body say?" Fuck, her body was screaming at her to let him do whatever the hell he wanted. With Killian leading the way she never found anything but the headiest sense of completion.

"Yes." Truth was every part of Emma always said yes to Killian because she loved him and she always, _always_ would.

….

 _If I had it my way  
I would take you down  
If I had it my way  
I would turn you out  
And if my body had a say, I would come again  
Scared of what I might say 'cause I am at the edge_

 _And our eyes are crossing paths across the room...  
There's only one thing left for us to do_

 _You can touch me with slow hands  
Speed it up, baby, make me sweat  
Dreamland, take me there 'cause I want your sex  
If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away  
Touch, make love, taste you  
If my body told the truth, baby I would do just what I want to_

 _If I had it my way, I would take the lead  
And if I had it my way, I would take you deep  
If my body had a say, I'd get it off my chest  
Show you all the red lace underneath this dress_

 _And our eyes are crossing paths across the room...  
There's only one thing left for us to do_

 _You can touch me with slow hands  
Speed it up, baby, make me sweat  
Dreamland, take me there 'cause I want your sex  
If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away  
Touch, make love, taste you  
If my body told the truth, baby I would do just what I want to_

 _My mind is getting in the way  
I can't feel what my body say  
I'mma tell you anyway  
I'mma tell you anyway  
My mind is getting in the way  
I can't feel what my body say  
I'mma show you anyway_

 _I'mma show you anyway_

 _There's only one thing left for us to do  
Oh, you can_

 _You can touch me with slow hands  
Speed it up, baby, make me sweat  
Dreamland, take me there 'cause I want your sex  
If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away  
Touch, make love, taste you  
If my body told the truth, baby I would do just what I want to_

 _You can touch me with slow hands  
Dreamland  
If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away  
Touch, make love, taste you_

 _If my body told the truth, baby I would do just what I want to_

 _ **Post-Note: So this song has been in my queue for a while to write but today seemed like the right time to write a fic for it. I mean we all just need some gratuitous smut every so often right? Anyway, hope you all are having a great weekend and thank you all for reading!**_


	97. Riot

_**A/N: This chapter is a AU oneshot from Killian's POV where Emma and Killian have been dating for a while and he's nervous that she's going to break up with him. This was all prompted by a lovely reader wanting Killian to beg Emma to stay with him. Of course it's all a misunderstanding, and this chapter will go from angst to cuteness. Inspired by the song 'Riot' by Rascal Flatts. Rated M because when in doubt always**_ **always** _ **smut.**_

Pacing back and forth in the front hall of his apartment, Killian felt himself falling apart at the seams. Something was off between him and Emma and the thought that whatever it was could lead to this thing between them ending hurt worse than anything he'd ever known.

They'd been together three months, three spectacularly incredible months and yet over the passed few days there was distance. Killian could feel it accumulating between them and he had to figure out how to fix this. He loved Emma too much to just let them break away like this. He just didn't know how to make her see that this was right.

Since their first meeting, Killian knew two things about Emma Swan. The first was that she was far and away the most remarkable person he'd ever met, and the second was that she had walls, strong, high, impenetrable walls thanks to the pains of her past. While she used them to keep people at bay, Killian knew in his heart there'd be no walking away from her. So he'd waited her out, earning her trust and her affection first with a date and then a dozen more.

Through some incredible stroke of luck, the walls had lowered, the space between them disappearing though not as fast as Killian might like. Hell, he'd known after that first dinner together that he was going to marry Emma if given the chance, but still things were good. No they were fantastic, but now… now the luck was running out and Killian couldn't let it.

Grabbing his jacket from the hook by his door, Killian sent a text to Emma asking to see her. She replied that she was home and as soon as he hit the cement outside he hailed a cab, needing to get to her now. The ride took an eternity in itself, and Killian must have checked his phone a thousand times, making sure she didn't say the words he feared the most – the ones that would push him away even further.

All the while Killian debated with himself about whether it was selfish to want to hold onto her so tightly. If she was hell bent on breaking away maybe he should respect her wishes, but then he had flashes of the way she looked at him in the moments when she was no longer guarded, and the flush of her cheeks when he showed her that he loved her. She felt this to, or at least she had, and they could make their way back to that love again. Killian hadn't said the words aloud yet, but he wanted to more than he could ever begin to articulate.

In one thing he was certain: no one could ever love Emma more than he did, for he felt her presence at every moment, making him a better man, bringing this sense of light and right to his life. Killian was walking through the world trying to do the same for her and to make her feel like she was his everything because she was, but either he was failing miserably in that endeavor, or she didn't want this. Both possibilities cut him to the core.

With sure steps and shaky hands, Killian finally reached Emma's apartment, holding back as he knocked on the door. He wanted to kick the bloody thing down, but he forced those instincts back, his hands placed at each side of the frame as he waited for her to answer. When she did, Emma looked beautiful as always, and though it was small and less than the ones he was used to, she smiled, making his heart stutter in his chest.

"Hey." One word, one bloody word and he was lost to her. It took Killian a few seconds to collect himself.

"Thanks for seeing me, love." Emma nodded and waved him inside.

Killian could feel her eyes on him as she was trying to make out his intentions but he held back still, trying to keep himself from an embarrassing outburst that would make things worse. Instead he focused on taking her in, marveling yet again at the beauty before him who was whip smart and funny as hell. He bit back professions of how glorious she was, but it felt like a losing battle to say the least.

"Can I get you something to drink or anything?" Emma asked, and Killian could hear that slight bit of awkwardness in her tone that had been here for days. It was the final straw and the fine line he'd been walking between calm and panic snapped.

"You can't leave me, Emma." Emma blinked up at him confused.

"What?" Killian moved forward, taking her hands in his, trying to take comfort in the feeling of her smooth skin against his own.

"I can't lose you Emma. I don't care what it takes, I'm willing to fight to make you see that we're right for each other, to be the man you choose to spend forever with, because there is nothing in the world that I want more than you. You, Emma, are everything to me and I can't let you go." The desperation in his voice was undeniable but Killian didn't give a damn. She should know how much he was feeling this.

"Killian I-,"

"Emma, love, just let me finish. I love you. I love you so much I hardly even know what to say, but I know that I need you. You make everything better every second you're by my side. I don't even think that I was living before you, and if you go I – well I'll crumble Emma. You have me, all of me, and I know I'm probably scaring you to death but -,"

Before he could finish the statement, about how the world would never shine as brightly, or feel as hopeful without her, Emma pulled him down for a soul-searing kiss. The message behind it was clear – she was with him in this, and the sticky sense of dread he'd been carrying with him for days washed away as her lips moved against his. Emma outshone all the darkness clouding in his mind and when she pulled back she smiled.

"I'm not leaving you, Killian." The huskiness in her voice that came from their kiss set him at ease, but still he needed more, wanting to know that she felt the same way he did.

"You're not?" Emma shook her head.

"No. Because I love you to, and yes sometimes that scares me, but mostly it makes me feel strong and safe and like everything is going to be okay."

Emma's hand had come to cup his cheek, her thumb running across the corner of his mouth, and Killian felt a grin spread across his face. Her beautiful green eyes tracked the motion and he heard a happy little hum that she let out.

"There's the man I missed, looking at me like _I'm_ the catch in this relationship." Killian scoffed at her inference that she somehow wasn't the best part of them.

"Oh love, don't you see that you are?" Killian brought his forehead to rest against hers.

"I do when I have you. You make me see the world differently, Killian. You make me want more and I love you for it." Killian breathed her in, surrounding himself in this happy turn of events but eventually he had to ask.

"Then why were you pulling away, love?" Killian inquired watching Emma blush and tuck a strand of hand behind her ear.

"A couple nights ago you said 'I love you' in your sleep. I hoped you meant me, but I didn't want to presume." Killian growled, kissing her again before replying.

"Presume away Emma, because as long as I live you'll be it for me." Her eyes widened at the words, but her features stayed soft and Killian knew the barriers were down once and for all. He had his Swan and neither of them were going anywhere.

"That sounds awful serious," Emma said, teasing him out right as her hand moved across his chest.

"That's because it is love. Move in with me." Emma smirked.

"Killian, we both know my place is better than yours. You move in with me." Killian grinned, just as thrilled with that prospect.

"Well if you insist, love." Emma rolled her eyes but pulled him back to her, this time not stopping with kisses. She pulled him back with her towards her bedroom.

"I love you, Emma. Just in case that wasn't clear."

"Good." There in front of him, Emma started stripping off her clothes and Killian barely bit back a moan at the sight of her. He reached out but she stepped back before he could. Puzzled he looked at her face and found her shaking her head.

"Now you. Love is a back and forth, or so I've been told."

 _Damn right it is,_ Killian thought as he made quick work of his own clothes. He took things slower, watching Emma grow more and more frustrated at his pace until she stepped forward and put her hands on him.

"Killian. I mean it." His Swan was barely touching him, and he felt near ready to die from pleasure. How would he survive making love to her when he felt as ecstatic as he did at knowing she was really his?

Swiftly he discarded the remnants of his clothing and then it was Emma's turn to lose her head for a minute. He watched the flush of arousal that came as she stared at him and the same satisfaction that came every time reared its head. She liked what she saw as she should. All of this was hers after all. When she put her hands on him though, taking his length in her grasp Killian groaned, shaking his head.

"I won't last that way, Swan." Emma smirked, unperturbed by the claim.

"You're the one who's citing forever here. You can make up for it later." Pushed to action, Killian brought her to the bed, laying her out on her back and distracting her with perusals of his own.

"That's a good girl. Now, hands to the headboard." Emma didn't even hesitate, and watching her give so easily set his heart pounding louder. Words were one thing, but glorious as they were though, actions always spoke louder, and this was a sign that Emma trusted him really and truly. He'd never take advantage of that as long as he lived.

For now though he'd use his own actions to remind her how right they really were for each other. He kissed her mouth then moved along her jaw down her throat and into the valley of her breasts he kissed and sucked and internalized every sigh and gasp and moan that tumbled passed her lips. Her hands came to tangle in his hair and though he loved the tug that came when she was this gone to sensation he still pulled back.

"Not yet, love." She bit her lip and Killian thought he might lose his mind but he needed this a certain way right now, and in Emma's eyes he saw understanding and she nodded.

"Okay. But when it's my turn again you might night like this whole bossy with rules thing," she teased before letting him return to his slow, meticulous work.

Killian was fixated first on her breasts, kissing and nipping all the while. His attentions varied between careful and aggressive, bringing the soft hum she gave off at first to full-blown cries for more. He attended to both nipples with reverence with his mouth and hands, and when he was quite satisfied that Emma was walking the edge just from this, he trailed kisses lower, down the flat plains of her stomach.

"Tell me, Emma." He watched a bit of confusion cross her face as he kissed the inside of her thigh. "Tell me this is real." She let out a relieved breath.

"It's real. We're real." Positioned like this, spread out and waiting for him to take her, Emma looked like an angel. It was impossible not to pause a moment and wonder at how anything and anyone this good could be real, but Emma was and so was her love for him. Killian could feel it, could see it, could taste it clear as day.

Killian watched her soft promise meld into raw heat as soon as his tongued swiped her sex slow and steady. Her hands flew from the headboard to angle him closer to what she desperately craved. The action made something in Killian click, because this was what he wanted, Emma so wrapped up in his and the pleasure he gave her that she never went away, never left him. He hoped never to feel the way he had the passed few days again, and to erase the memory of what it had felt like once and for all.

Steadily his attentions went from one of slow exploration to heated licks and forceful sucking. When he felt her starting to tighten underneath her, Killian pressed a finger into her as his mouth focused on her bundle of nerves and she catapulted over the edge.

Making his way back up over her, Killian sprinkled compliments and kisses over her skin, finding when he was face to face with her that Emma's eyes were filled with tears. He knew they were the happy kind, but still seeing them clawed at something in him. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe from any sort of pain.

"Emma?" She ran her hand across his cheek and tried to blink back the mistiness in her eyes. The warmth of her fingertips against his skin felt impossibly right.

"You came in here telling me that I can't leave, but you can't leave either. I need you too much. You made me need you even when I tried to fight it. I don't want to be lonely again."

"You never will be, Emma. You'll always have me." She smiled at that, pulling him in for more kisses as he thrust into her. They'd done this many times before but still the power of this moment wasn't lost on Killian. They'd said what they needed to say and the rioting of emotions that had him once worried and doubting were long gone, healed by Emma. They were both so immersed in all of this and this moment, but too soon it was gone, with both of them crashing into release together.

But this time, after everything, when Killian held Emma in his arms he didn't wonder what might be, but knew what was coming. They were going to be happy and whole and more than that they were going to be together. And he could hardly fathom anything so perfect as that.

…..

 _I'd be ridin' in a cab goin' downtown  
Findin' faces I know in a big crowd  
Tryin' to drink the pain away, mhmm  
And I'd be stayin' out all night, never goin' home  
Girl you know I'd lose all control  
If I lost you_

 _There would be a riot  
Breakin' up my heart, I'd try to fight it  
I could go out every night but I'd be lyin'  
If I said I could live and breathe  
Without you  
There'd be a lot of lonely  
Wishin' and prayin' that you would hold me  
I would do most anything baby  
If only you would come back to me  
Come back to me  
There would be a riot  
Oh yeah, oooh_

 _I'd be checkin' on my phone every minute  
Waitin' 'round for it to start ringin'  
And prayin' it would be you  
I don't know what I'd do_

 _There would be a riot  
Breakin' up my heart, I'd try to fight it  
I could go out every night but I'd be lyin'  
If I said I could live and breathe  
Without you  
There'd be a lot of lonely  
Wishin' and prayin' that you would hold me  
I would do most anything baby if only  
You would come back to me  
Come back to me  
There would be a riot  
If I ever lost you  
If I ever lost you_

 _There would be a riot  
Breakin' up my heart, I'd try to fight it  
I could go out every night but I'd be lyin'  
If I said I could live and breathe  
There'd be a lot of lonely  
Wishin' and prayin' that you would hold me  
I would do most anything baby if only  
You would come back to me  
Come back to me  
There would be a riot  
If I ever lost you_

 _There would be, there would be a riot  
Breakin' up my heart, I'd try to fight it  
There would be a riot  
If I ever lost you_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you so much to the awesome reader who prompted this song and this fic idea! Seriously it is so appreciated, as are all the lovely prompts I get from readers. I am always thrilled to hear what songs you guys think would make good CS themes and what kind of things you guys prefer in a oneshot. This series is so close to hitting the 100 milestone but I see it continuing for a very long time still since there's just so much amazing music out there to find inspiration in. That being said, I hope that you all have a lovely rest of your day and thanks so much for reading!**_


	98. I Do

_**A/N: This installment of the mixtape satisfies an element of my OUAT watching that I'm sure has been a big question for many of us. I'm talking of course about the wedding dress in the window of the shop on Main Street. Well this is just a short one shot exploring one way Emma could interact with said garment if the Evil Queen and Hyde (and all the other angst) wasn't coming to Storybrooke. Basically it's just proposal fluff for this fine Friday. Inspired by the song 'I do' by Colbie Caillat.**_

Picking back up on rounds after what felt like eons of battling away the darkness, rescuing Killian, and making it back home to Storybrooke, Emma felt herself wondering if she'd ever get used to just being sheriff again. Without the forces of evil breathing down their necks, her calls to duty as savior had toned down some, and Emma was once again the warden of neighborly craziness instead of fending off actual danger and peril. It was nice in some ways, and bizarre in others.

But as much as everything seemed to be back to Storybrooke's version of normal (this morning alone she'd settled a dwarf dispute at Granny's and stopped some kids from messing with the sprinklers in the park), Emma felt different. Truth was, all of these things that they'd faced recently had changed her, and yet her life was going back to what it was. It had taken most of the day to realize it, but with each passing step Emma was beginning to understand that she didn't want things to go back to what they always had been – she wanted better than her past and to walk into a future that meant something.

As she grappled with this newfound truth, Emma made her way down Main Street and back to the precinct. She was looking for answers but none would appear, until she noticed out of the corner of her eye one of the storefronts. There, in the window of Modern Fashions was a white dress, dreamed up for a wedding and then it dawned on Emma. _That_ was what she wanted, that was the step she'd been wishing for deep down for a while.

Yet in all honesty, Emma had never been the kind of person to fantasize about her wedding. She hadn't planned any details, or given much thought to the dress or the venue of an event she'd always seen as far off or never coming at all. With Killian though Emma did see a day like this, and she wanted it sooner rather than later. So she took the dress in the window as a kind of template, making adjustments in her head about what she might like better for herself. Emma didn't know how long she stared at the garment before being called back by a familiar voice.

"Emma? Is everything alright?" Emma turned to see her mother looking at her, trying but failing miserably to hide a huge smile at having caught her daughter staring at a wedding dress. Emma could practically hear the gears turning in her mother's head of ideas for what Emma's marriage to her true love would look like, but even if she knew her mother would want so much more than Emma did, it didn't scare her. Instead it brought a smile to Emma's face.

"How did I get here? How did I become this person thinking about what comes next?" Snow came to take Emma's hand and held it in hers firmly.

"Love, Emma. Love is always what moves us." Emma nodded, knowing her mother was right and suddenly, the idea of waiting for the right time didn't sit well with her. The time was now, today, in this momentary bit of peace and Emma was going to take her moment.

"I have to go." Her mother's eyes filled with happy tears as Emma flicked her wrist, transporting herself with magic to wherever Killian was only to find she'd ended up at the station.

There, across the room was Killian, was pouring over a map with her father, the two of them laughing about something in an easy, friendly way. It only took a second though for Killian to sense her presence.

"Emma? Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I just needed to see you." Emma made eye contact with her Dad who must have understood his presence might be a little awkward for the impending conversation.

"I think I left something in the store room. I'll be right back." As David headed out, Killian moved towards Emma, concern etched on his handsome face making Emma's heart beat a little faster.

"Whatever it is Emma, you can tell me. We'll face it together, love." Emma smiled, looking at Killian and knowing that he meant it.

"I love you." Killian returned the words with a smile of his own, and Emma watched some of the tension from his worry dissipate at the claim.

"And I love you, Emma. More than anything." Emma was about to ask him right here and right now to marry her when a little voice inside her head said maybe this wasn't the perfect place. She had to think to herself for a moment about what might be a better one, and when she did she looked back to Killian.

"Do you trust me?"

"Aye, love." He said the words without an ounce of hesitation and Emma flicked her wrist, using her magic once more and bringing them back to their home, or just outside it to be precise.

"Fancied a change in scenery, love?" Emma laughed at his words.

"I wanted to be in the place where our future is when I ask you to marry me." When she watched Killian's response to the words Emma laughed again. "But on second thought, this should probably look a little different."

With magic that came from her heart and not the forethought of her mind, the yard where they stood was filled with roses just like in Camelot and some new additions, like a tree house and a porch swing. But where Emma was looking around at all she'd made, Killian was just looking at her.

"Isn't it I who should be asking you?" Emma's heart warmed at the similar words he'd used when she asked him out on their first date.

"I think it's safe to say who asks the big questions in this relationship." Killian laughed at that, pulling her closer to him.

"Perhaps I'd be the one to ask if given the chance." Emma felt her breath catch.

"Well then here's your chance."

"And miss whatever precious words you were about to give me? I think not Swan." Emma ran her hand across his chest feeling the steady beat of his heart underneath her.

"How about I give you my words and then you give me yours." Killian nodded.

"Sounds an even trade, love." Emma took this as leave to start with everything she was feeling, holding nothing back.

"I want forever with you, Killian, and it's not just because you're my true love. I knew even before we had our proof that you are the only man I've ever known who can make me hope like this. For years, I lived wondering when the other shoe would drop, when the bad would find me again. But even though the storms keep coming, you've settled me, you've given me strength and it's the best thing anyone could give me.

"Now we're back, living through our second chance together and all I can think is that I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband. I want more kids and growing old together in this house. I want the good and the bad, because the only thing that will ever be enough is everything. So Killian, will you -,"

Emma nearly had the question out of her mouth when Killian stopped her inquiry with a kiss. If his intention was distraction, he certainly got his wish, because Emma could hardly think past how good this felt and how she wanted a million more moments like this over the next sixty or so years. When he moved back, Emma opened her eyes to see Killian smiling before he kneeled down in front of her and pulled out a ring he must have already had for this moment.

"You promised me my chance, love. So here it is. You, Emma, are the single best thing in all the realms, in every world we've seen and may never see. I was a different man before I met you, a man I never wish to be again and through your love, through having you at my side I know those days are behind me. The future you see, the dreams you have in that beautiful heart of yours, I want just the same, but mostly I want you. I want to be your everything, so that you can be mine as well.

"But when we marry Emma you should know that I won't take saying 'I do' lightly. I will live every day as I do now, working to see you happy and safe and cherished. I will always be there when you need me and even when you don't. I'll stand beside you and protect our family with everything I have and I will love you with everything in me as long as I live." Emma felt her own happy tears welling in her eyes.

"So were you going to ask, or should I?" She teased and Killian grinned.

"Will you marry me?" Emma nodded and within seconds he was on his feet again, the ring placed on her finger and Emma was in his arms, totally succumbing to the magic between them and the love they both had for each other.

It could have been a second or an hour that they stayed like that, reveling in the promise of forever, but the spell was broken with the whooshing sound of magic and the arrival of her parents, Henry, and Regina. Emma should have known they'd all show up, and if she was to guess, she'd say it was her mother's doing.

When Emma broke away from Killian to look at the members of her family, each of them appeared happy in their own way. Her mother of course was beside herself as she held Neal in her arms, Henry was grinning and giving a thumbs up, her father gave Killian a subtle nod, and even Regina had a smile for the occasion.

"Did he say yes?" Snow asked with eager excitement.

"Actually she did." Killian said, still holding Emma in his arms. Emma turned back to Killian and smiled.

"We both did." Despite their audience, Emma and Killian shared another kiss before admitting that their moment had ended. It was all right though, because they were certain there were many more to come.

Neither Killian nor Emma had the patience to wait very long to marry and in just a few days time they had their chance to say _'I do'_ and to start the journey to forever. In the end the promises they made, the words they'd chosen to say when both asking for the chance to be together all rang true. They faced the good and the bad side by side, enjoyed all the moments a happily ever after had to bring, and knew through it all that they'd be happy because they'd found each other and said yes to love.

…

 _It's always been about me, myself and I  
I thought relationships were nothing but a waste of time  
I never wanted to be anybody's other half  
I was happy stayin' out of love wouldn't last  
That was the only way I knew til I met you_

 _You make we wanna say  
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo  
Yeah, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo  
'Cause every time before it's been like  
Maybe yes and maybe no  
I can live without it, I can let it go  
Ooh, what did I get myself into  
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,_

 _Tell me is it only me  
Do you feel the same?  
You know me well enough to know that I'm not playing games  
I promise I won't turn around and I won't let you down  
You can trust I never felt it like I feel it now  
Baby there's nothing, there's nothing we can't get through_

 _So can we say  
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo  
Oh baby, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo_

 _'Cause every time before it's been like  
Maybe yes and maybe no  
I won't live without it, I won't let it go  
Wooh can I get myself into  
You make we wanna say_

 _Me a family, a house a family  
Ooh, can we be a family?  
And when I'm eighty years old and sittin' next to you._

 _And when we remember when we said  
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo  
Oh baby, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo  
'Cause every time before it's been like  
Maybe yes and maybe no  
I won't live without it, I won't let us go  
Just look at what we got ourselves into  
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,  
Love you_

 _ **Post-Note: So just a short little installment today with enough fluff to start the weekend off right. The closer we get to season 6, the closer I get to frustration about CS still not being engaged. At least I have my writing to pretend that I'm getting their HEA sooner than the reality of the show. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoyed and thanks so much for reading!**_


	99. SOS

_**A/N: Scene rewrite from 3x18 where Emma is practicing her magic at Granny's. I am pretending that Belle does not come in to interrupt and Emma and Killian have a conversation about Zelena cursing his lips before Emma has the chance to get mad like it played out in the show. Of course there's cuteness and confessions about caring for each other. Inspired by the song 'SOS' by Joseph, which you should all check out because it's playing on a loop in my head this week.**_

Once the initial shock of having magic and needing to learn to use it had worn off, Emma allowed herself a few moments to acknowledge that having powers was actually pretty cool. Right now was such an instance. While sitting in Granny's waiting for whatever was coming their way, Emma focused intently on the cocoa before her, willing it to move across the diner.

She watched the steam that wafted despite the generous helping of whipped cream, and noticed each sprinkling of cinnamon residing on the top of her favorite treat. Then Emma closed her eyes, hoping this would work until she felt the magic click and she knew that she'd tapped in. Her eyes popped open to see if she'd really done it.

When it happened, and the burst of white light carried the cup of steaming hot heaven over to the booth where Hook sat, Emma slapped her hand on the table, elated at her success. It felt good to get something right, to feel like she was improving when the situation around them remained pretty freaking dire.

" _Boom_! Granny's to go. I should open a franchise."

Emma could feel the smile playing at her lips, enjoying a second of confident swagger here in the dimly lit diner. This was unusual for her, especially in times of Storybrooke crises, but it felt okay, safe even. The only person here was Killian and he'd never been the kind to judge or make her feel like she was lacking.

If anything Killian always seemed to root for her, even when everyone else was on a different page. He never doubted her, trusting her instincts every step of the way, and somehow his presence had become really important to Emma, crucial even. Emma never felt like she was drowning in the chaos around them when he was there lending his support and Killian surprised her all the time by standing beside her even when she didn't ask. As if she was giving off a silent SOS signal, he'd appear, ready to aid in whatever he could.

Honestly it kind of shocked her that Killian was even still around. Emma wasn't exactly the most welcoming person, choosing to keep her eyes shut from the possibility of anything really happening between them. She kept fending off the thoughts that were coming more and more about what it would be like if she did pursue something with Killian. But despite her walls and hesitations Killian saw her, understood her even, and more than that he was trying to move forward and to do better for her.

Watching him abandon his past to help her, to help her family, it was overwhelming most of the time. Couple that with the looks and the words and the slight touches he was so prone to sending her way and Emma was in trouble. Yet she didn't want to think about that right now. Right now, she just wanted to linger in the calm before the storm and take her mind off of the crazy witch running rampant around town.

The only problem was the usual glint of humor in Killian's eyes was nowhere to be found. He sat there at the booth, drink in hand, looking a little forlorn and certainly worse for wear and for some reason seeing him like this hurt her. Emma didn't want him to be in any kind of pain, and yet she couldn't help but face the truth that was staring her in the face – Killian was likely only suffering in the first place because of her, and because she was keeping distance between them.

"It's impressive." Even as Killian replied with an evenness of tone, Emma knew he meant it. He might not be wild eyed with excitement, but there was a little bit of pride in those blue eyes, and nothing but patient kindness in his words. But Emma wanted Hook back, the pirate who flirted with her to take away the tension, who put himself out there so she'd feel less on display. Actually she more than wanted him - she needed him.

"You want to see something _really_ impressive?" Killian sighed at that, the heavy exhale of breath an overly dramatized attempt at seeming putout, but Emma knew he was still curious, and her smile grew as she flicked her wrist, willing a bit of mischief into this little interlude.

Killian looked down, noticing his hook was the victim of this display of fun, and Emma didn't need to turn around to know that it was hanging from a lamp across the room. Somehow like this, feeling light and happy, the magic came easily. There was very little thinking needed at all, just feeling.

Emma laughed at the face Killian made when he realized he'd been had, and it felt good. She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed but as the giggle moved through her, Emma only wanted more of the happy sensation.

"That's bad form, Swan, tampering with a man's hook."

 _Why isn't he laughing?_ Emma wondered, starting to really not understand. Had she done something wrong that she didn't realize? Or maybe, despite her thoughts to the contrary, Killian's attachment to her wasn't as strong as it seemed. The thought alone made her stomach sink but she kept on a brave face.

"Okay seriously, what is up with you?" Killian clicked his hook back into place and shot a look her way. In it, Emma saw more than she thought he actually wanted to give away, but the brief seconds where their eyes met told her she was wrong to worry about him not caring. If anything he cared too much, and whatever he was about to say would hark to that, she could feel it.

"I apologize for my rudeness. It's a long story – too long for now."

The defeat in Killian's tone and the way he took a sip of his rum told Emma that talking wasn't exactly the thing he wanted most right now. She should respect that, even if it was driving her a little crazy. Hell, she knew she was just about as closed off as they came but somehow with Killian she didn't want the barriers. She wanted to know and to talk even if she'd never really done this before.

"Okay. But obviously something's bothering you. Whatever it is, you can tell me." Killian looked away and Emma instinctively reached across the counter, her hand coming to rest just above his hook. Killian's eyes flashed up to hers and sent that spark of longing that was coming more and more often moving through her.

"I made mistakes, Emma. I let you believe that I'd solved all of Ariel's problems when the reality doesn't make me a hero at all."

Emma sat there, listening in the diner to everything he said about encountering Ariel in the Enchanted Forest, and missing Emma so much that all he could think of was securing his ship. She heard about his attempts to remedy the wrongdoing and though she felt confusion and a little distress Emma also felt relief. Her instincts had been telling her she was missing something, and now she knew the truth, the whole truth.

"There's something else, though love. The Wicked Witch knew of my want to make things right for Ariel. She played on that desire to do the right thing, and in the process she cursed me." Emma's blood ran cold at the words.

"Cursed? How?" Emma scanned Killian up and down, as if there would be some physical sign of his affliction that she'd missed. She couldn't explain why she was so terrified, but the thought that Killian was in danger by Zelena's hand made Emma panic.

"She used my feelings for you to her advantage." His words trailed off as Emma felt her heart pounding wildly in her chest. His feelings for her. They were going to talk about his feelings for her. Was she ready for that? _Yes. No. Maybe?_

"You have feelings for me?" Emma asked, quietly.

"Surely you know that by now, Emma. I've never been particularly predisposed to the crusade of goodness before. Something's changed me. You've changed me." Emma felt the butterflies in her stomach fluttering around madly at the words.

Truth was, Killian was slowly changing her too. She was coming out of her shell just a little bit more every day, learning to trust and to lean on him. Even now, when he'd been holding something back from her, she wasn't angry. He'd come to her with the truth, she hadn't had to catch him in any sort of lie and that was worth something. It was worth a lot actually.

"So Zelena took how you feel about me and did what with it?"

"Well there's no way to say this without sounding bloody ridiculous, but she cursed my lips, Emma. If I kiss you it'll take away your magic, leaving the whole town vulnerable."

Emma blinked at Killian, trying to wrap her head around what he'd just said and a bubble of laughter came up. It wasn't a funny situation by any means, but this laugh was the product of stress and worry and the last bit of denial about how she felt about Killian flaring up again.

"As I said ridiculous." Killian moved to stand up and Emma did the same, reaching for his hand when they were both out of the booth.

"Hook, I'm not laughing at you or at the thought of kissing you." Killian raised a brow.

"You're not?" Emma shook her head.

"I'm laughing at the fact that as per usual my life, the life I have when I'm here in Storybrooke, is a mess. Wicked Witches cursing guys I like so I can't kiss them. This is not a run of the mill problem. I didn't face things like this in New York." Emma watched as Killian started grinning, and it took her a moment to realize what she'd let slip. She'd admitted she liked him and though at first she felt a trickle of regret, it mellowed away when she saw the actual hope in his eyes.

"You fancy me, Emma?" Killian asked, a bit of the cockiness she'd grown rather fond of returning.

"Hook." Her censure and slight eye roll only made him smile more but then his face fell again. "What?"

"Well it's just typically when the woman you've been pining over confesses her affections you get to kiss her." Emma smiled at that, a real honest to goodness smile and somehow the usual words of worry, the nagging voice in her head that said to keep guarded and to hold him at an arm's length wasn't talking.

"She just cursed your lips right?" Emma asked, surprised even herself with the question as Killian's eyes widened but he nodded.

Emma moved closer, pressing a kiss to his cheek gently. She felt the warmth of his skin as she did it, and realized that aside from Henry, she'd never just given someone an affectionate kiss like this. It was nice, and it was only made better when she pulled back and saw the little blush that had crept up on Killian's face. It made her want to laugh all over again, seeing this fearsome pirate captain blushing like this over a simple peck on the cheek.

"Your magic, love?" Killian asked, and Emma flicked her wrist, bringing her cocoa back into her hands and taking a sip as she met Killian's gaze all the while.

"Still here, safe and sound." Killian breathed a sigh of relief and then took her other hand in his.

"Good. And I'd wager that the Witch's plan will backfire." Emma tilted her head to look at him. "Because I've never been so motivated to see her defeated as I am now."

Emma smiled, thinking he had a point there. The idea that they'd get another kiss like the one they'd shared in Neverland when all of this was over was certainly an enticing prospect, even if part of her was still scared half to death of everything Killian made her feel. The ghosts of her past were still here, the ocean of fear waging war inside of her, but if Emma was honest with herself she knew that this thing between them was real, or that it could be, if just given the chance to try.

Before Emma could say any of that though, or get too wrapped up in envisioning what a future passed fighting of Zelena looked like, Belle came running into the diner, completely ignoring the moment she'd just wandered into. With Belle's presence and her intel Emma and Hook were thrown back in the thick of things again, but Emma knew they'd have another moment eventually. And who knew, maybe that one would grow to many and they'd reach a point where she wasn't so afraid of what might just be a very good thing.

…

 _You don't see me, my eyes are closing  
I swear you can't see me, I want you close  
But my arms are holding me back  
I wait for you, but hold my eyes shut  
You don't see me but come here close  
Tear my hands down, pull off the blinds  
Look me in the eyes_

 _I know you're somethin', ooh  
I know you're somehin' real  
Lately I'm haunted, ooh  
These shadows hold me here_ _  
_ _Screaming under water, SOS_ _  
_ _Can you hear me calling, SOS_ _  
_ _Did it to myself now I need your help_ _  
_ _Alone and overboard yelling SOS_ __

 _My hands are shaking, nobody's been here before_ _  
_ _Oh will you see me, is it enough?_ _  
_ _Will you wake up,? Pull back the blinds_ _  
_ _Look me in my eyes_ __

 _I know you're somethin', ooh_ _  
_ _I know you're somehin' real_ _  
_ _Lately I'm haunted, ooh_ _  
_ _These shadows hold me here_ __

 _Screaming under water, SOS_ _  
_ _Can you hear me calling, SOS_ _  
_ _Did it to myself now I need your help_ _  
_ _Alone and overboard yelling SOS_ __

 _I know I want you but I'm drowning in fear_ _  
_ _I know I want you but I'm drowning in fear_ _  
_ _I know I want you but I'm drowning in fear_ _  
_ _I'm finally ready, help me up out of here_ __

 _Screaming under water, SOS_ _  
_ _Can you hear me calling, SOS_ _  
_ _Did it to myself now I need your help_ _  
_ _Alone and overboard yelling SOS_ _  
_ _Screaming under water, SOS_ _  
_ _Can you hear me calling, SOS_ _  
_ _Did it to myself now I need your help_ _  
_ _Alone and overboard yelling SOS_

 _ **Post-Note: Every time I do a rewrite, I obviously have to watch the scene in question and I haven't had the pleasure of seeing this scene in quite a while. Happy, excited, 'magic is kind of cool' Emma was a real cutie pie, and while I know she wasn't ready to admit any feelings for Killian in the show's cannon, she seemed hopeful. Getting to write her as hopeful in a season that was really just angst on angst was a delight, and I hope that you guys enjoyed the chance to imagine an actual level of resolution to that scene. Next chapter of the mixtape is the 100**_ _ **th**_ _ **(yikes how is that possible?!) and as such I will have to come up with something extra special. I'm still brainstorming what that might be, but no worries, it's coming. Anyway have a great rest of your day and thanks for reading!**_


	100. This Love

_**A/N: I debated back and forth what I wanted to do for my 100**_ _ **th**_ _ **milestone of this collection. Did I want an AU or a rewrite or a bit of future fluff? In the end I decided to go with a post-5B, you guessed it, proposal. Includes thoughtful Emma and flashbacks and every good thing. Inspired by a lovely reader prompt for 'This Love' by Taylor Swift, which is so CS it hurts. Also the links to past chapters will now be at the bottom. Funny how it took me ONE HUNDRED chapters to think of that brilliant idea.**_

The certainty that she should still be sleeping clung to Emma as she stirred awake one morning a few weeks after coming home from the Underworld. The dawn was barely breaking outside, the hour so early the birds had yet to start singing, and Emma knew she needed at least two, maybe three, more hours of sleep. Yet strong as that feeling might be, she couldn't seem to shake the sense of unease that also lingered. Something was wrong and it was agitating her more and more by the second.

Emma opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Killian. Some of the doubt and worry immediately fell away seeing he was here. The steady rise and fall of his chest with each deep breath and the feeling of his heart beating underneath where her hand pressed against his chest grounded Emma. He was here, he was safe, and they were out of the hell they'd walked through to be together.

In sleep her pirate looked so peaceful, lacking any scars from the past or from their stint in the Underworld. She found herself just marveling at him for a minute, taking him in and knowing how lucky she was to have him, but still the restlessness would not cease. Emma felt like she had to move, had to think, but about what she couldn't tell. Whatever it was, though, it was only a matter of time before it woke Killian. He had this uncanny ability to sense when she was struggling, even in sleep, and she didn't want to disturb him. Their days had been filled with stressors recently, and he could use all the rest he could get, even if it wouldn't come for Emma.

Quietly, and with very precise, gentle movements, Emma disentangled herself from Killian's arms and got out of bed. She changed quickly, and found herself going to Henry's room to check on him only to remember he had spent the night with Regina. That was probably for the best, because Emma felt herself needing just a little space, a little room to work out what was plaguing her. This wasn't running though, whatever she was doing now it wasn't running. She'd be back, because she had every reason to be.

Walking through the streets of Storybrooke with no real destination in mind, Emma was lost in thoughts, about everything that had happened since Henry had found her years ago. Meeting him that first night, she never would have guessed this was the journey her son would take her to. He'd brought her here, to her home, the one place in the world where she truly belonged.

Emma's life had taken more twists and turns than she could even begin to count. She was a mother now, and she'd been given the chance to ameliorate her one biggest regret – giving Henry up. Now she knew what it was to love unconditionally and be loved in return. Her son was the brightest blessing, and every day he was growing more and more into his own person. Henry's heart, his belief, and his love were going to take him places Emma couldn't even imagine.

She'd also met her parents, and let herself form a friendship with her Mom even before they'd known who they were to each other. It had taken time and a heck of a lot of angst, but she'd reached a point where they felt like her home, and they all felt like family. She loved them and her brother, and they'd proved time and time again that they loved her too. They'd given up everything, risked their lives more than once for the chance to help Emma save Henry and Killian and to give her her best shot at being happy.

Emma had also changed her ways since coming here. Being the savior might sometimes feel like the world's greatest burden, but it was also a gift. She got to see people safe, and help people through their own hurdles. She was a hero, and though that life often took a toll, she went to sleep every night knowing she'd tried her best. Emma had battled through darkness and come out on the other side happy and more whole than she'd ever felt before.

It wasn't until she'd reached the coast that Emma took a second to take in her surroundings. She shouldn't have been surprised that in the end she'd end up here, by the docks looking out into the ocean. More and more she found herself seeking out the sea and she wasn't foolish enough to believe that wasn't thanks to Killian. She felt close to him here, and even if she felt like she needed the distance this morning, she wanted him with her in some way.

Emma stood at the edge of the wooden planks, looking out into the early morning light, watching the waves move and the now waking sea birds fly. The deep blue of the sea was deceiving, for though it seemed calm, the waters could be treacherous. She'd seen what storms looked like out here, and they rivaled the chaos life had thrown her way. But for now, all was quiet. The skies were clear, the tide high but not harmful. Emma breathed in the salty fresh air and let herself really delve into what was holding onto her heart like a vice this morning.

No man had ever made her feel like Killian did and to just say it was true love wasn't enough. They were more than what they'd been fated to be. Killian was like a lifeline, a constant presence that bolstered her up and would do anything to protect her. But arguably what made them and their love so precious was looking at where it all started.

He'd been so infuriating when they first met. Working with Cora, cocky as all hell after lying to them about who he was, but even then, even with all those walls and hurts between them, Killian still caught her attention. There was something under all that bluster and Emma had caught glimpses even from the start.

" _I was hoping it'd be you."_

Emma smiled at the memory. That whole stint in the Enchanted Forest had been terrible. She didn't trust anyone but her Mom and herself. All she'd wanted was to get home to Henry, but still Hook (because he hadn't really been Killian then) made her smile. He was exhausting, and too attractive for her to be anything but openly hostile to him. The last thing Emma needed then was to think of the chemistry between them, so she'd pretended there was none and ignored the signs, chalking him up to a villain and nothing more.

Emma remembered the look in his eyes when she'd left him up there with the giant, and the way Hook had been so angry at her, returning to help Cora because she'd betrayed him. She knew he'd been honest, when he said he wouldn't go back on his promises, but her instincts had insisted that she not let him close. Trusting him was the most dangerous challenge she'd ever faced. Not slaying a dragon, not fighting Cora, or Pan, or Zelena, or any of the others set on destroying her happiness – no her biggest, scariest moments had come down to Killian.

Then he'd come back. She'd told him he could be a part of something and she was all but certain it was too late. He was too angry, too jaded from his past and his revenge, but seeing his ship sail back into port when they'd needed to get to Henry, it was one of the most profoundly comforting moments of her life.

" _I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself."_

" _Maybe I just needed reminding that I could."_

The next thing she knew they were in Neverland, and if they hadn't had him, she didn't know what would have happened. He didn't just get them there, he kept all of them alive, and he helped her find Henry.

Hook filled the endless nights on that hellish island with humor and jokes about rum and a kiss that was anything but a one-time thing. He'd pierced a hole in Emma's armor then, and even when she pushed him away, even when she tried to make him feel small, he didn't walk away. He waited patiently, with no expectations, just a desire to see her safe and happy.

" _I kissed Emma."_

" _I already told Mary Margaret, so technically it's not a secret. But it was just a kiss how is that your darkest secret."_

" _It's what the kiss exposed. My secret is, I never thought I would be capable of letting go of my first love, my Milah. To believe that I could find someone else. That is until I met you."_

Hearing that he found hope through her, that he wanted her like that, it had stolen Emma's breath away, but she needed to find Henry and she needed to face Neal. Killian understood. He wasn't hostile or nagging. He just fought with her, for her and when they'd said goodbye at the town line, when she'd been standing at the precipice of leaving this home she'd found with people she cared about, she'd had so much more to say. The curse was coming but still she was afraid, holding back. Emma was always holding back.

" _There's not a day will go by I won't think of you."_

" _Good."_

A year went by, but still it might as well have been a lifetime. She was living in memories that were a lie, and when Hook found her again, when he'd tried to make her remember, Emma was terrified.

Who the hell was this crazy guy dressed like that who called to her? Why did he seem so familiar but so out of this world? How was it that she had more connection to him than to the guy who was asking her to marry him?

Then she knew, her memories restored, and though she trusted Hook with her life, Emma couldn't trust him with her heart. Despite that fact and all her hesitations, he still gave her the truth. Hook made her see what was behind all her denial each and every time.

" _I think it's because you can see a future here – a happy one."_

Slowly but surely his apt analysis of her fears and her baggage showed Emma that Hook was more than just a pirate who cared for her and who she was attracted to. He was a man who understood her because he'd lived life in a similar darkness. Cynical people, people hurt by that realest sentiment of lost, never usually found their way back into the light, but somehow Killian showed her, step by agonizing step.

Killian chased her through time and space and realms. He helped her fix the past so there would still be a future for her and her kid. He traded his ship, his home, his life for her and that was the start, the real moment where she had to look into her heart and admit that Killian was different. He was different than anyone she'd ever known and he was worth taking the risk with.

Emma was still cautious, still hesitating at every turn but they got there. Slowly but surely they made their way. She remembered asking him out on that first date, him flinging the dart completely across the diner thanks to his surprise. She remembered knowing that this might very well be the last first date she ever went on.

" _You look stunning, Swan."_

" _You…look…"_

" _I know."_

It was exciting and anxiety-inducing all at once, but then there was a Snow Queen, and a rogue Dark One, and nearly losing him again. She'd held his heart in her hand, knowing they'd been so close to losing this, but they hadn't. They were okay, at least for a while, because there was always more trouble on the horizon in her life.

If it wasn't for Henry and for Killian, Emma would have caved to that darkness day one. It had been the most all consuming evil one could ever face, but the love of Henry and Killian was enough to keep her going, even when she was losing her mind.

Killian never stopped fighting for her, arguing and battling with anyone who stood in the way of fixing this for Emma. He never lost sight of who she was, even when everyone else did. Her family, Regina, Merlin, they were all governed by fear about Emma's status, but Killian knew, he was so damn certain she would prevail. Emma was strong enough to make herself a new start, but he didn't realize he was the one to give her that strength.

When he gave her that ring, Emma thought he was going to propose right there. She protested, knowing Camelot was not the place to take that step, but he surprised her, granting it as a safeguard for her. It had protected him, it mattered to him, and he wanted her to have it. Everything he had was hers to take, because she already had his heart.

" _The dark one is immortal. Emma isn't. Bring her home to me. At the very least, it's a reminder that you've got a piercing eyed, soldering pirate here who loves you."_

Killian brought her happiness, even when she was burdened with darkness. Emma laughed, she smiled, she felt warm and loved in the midst of the darkest times of her life. He was the best medicine, the only remedy to all of it, so when she watched all of her hope for the future he'd imagined start to crumble, it was impossible to accept. There had to be a way. Love had to find a way, but sometimes it didn't.

Her heartbreak, in the moment where Killian was dying in her arms, where she had to choose between saving him and letting him die a hero in Camelot was the single worst moment of her life. It was only matched by watching him sacrifice himself back in Storybrooke. He fought off the darkness too and he laid down his life so that she and her family could live.

" _I don't want to lose you."_

" _And I don't want to lose you. But you have to let me go. Let me die a hero. That's the man I want you to remember. Please!"_

People might think she'd made the wrong choice, cursing Killian and her to the darkness together, but Emma would never regret it. Not as long as she lived, because it had saved him. In the long run it saved him, even if it hurt like hell to get there.

Everything that came after that, mourning him, and finding him again, fighting with him to see that he was worth it only for the chance to be ripped away from them, it was all so much and not enough. Emma and Killian had lived a thousand life times of pain and misery in the span of a few weeks, and yet she'd never known a love as strong or good. So they found a way, the Universe found a way for them. The story wasn't over. It would never be over.

" _Swan?"_

" _Killian?!"_

Getting to hold him again, to kiss him again, to say she loved him again, it was the purest pleasure she had ever known. Her whole life had been cast in gray, her heart had stopped beating, her pain was unparalleled, but in an instant it was gone because Killian was back and he was hers. One second she was standing over his grave, the next he was alive and so was she.

That was the moment where the last of her fear died. Emma trusted Killian, loved him enough to say it without the world falling to rubble around them, and she was never going back on that again. She'd prayed for just one last moment, and now she had many. She was choosing Killian, and she was choosing to be happy from here on out.

Killian's love had left a permanent mark, not just on her heart but on her. Emma was forever changed because she loved him and because he loved her. Emma was stronger, surer. She never felt like the little lost girl who no one ever wanted anymore, and she doubted she ever would. Whatever happened, Killian's love for her could not be doubted. Even in death he'd loved her, and now in life he cherished her just the same.

So why was Emma feeling this way? She had everything. Her family was safe, her town protected at least for now. The man she loved in a once in a lifetime, fairytale magic, forever kind of way was alive and with her. What could possibly be left to fix?

 _But we_ don't _have everything,_ Emma realized.

There were still steps, steps Emma was finally ready for now. Emma wanted to marry Killian and to really get their happily ever after. She wanted more kids, maybe a dog, and a life where she walked by Killian's side through thick and thin. That was really all she needed.

Wiping away the last of the tears that had come during her remembrances, Emma turned around, determined get home to the man she loved when she found Killian was already here, watching her just a few paces away. His stance was open, heart on his sleeve, that hopeful little smile etched on his lips. The winds whipping around ruffled his hair a bit, but he looked… well he looked like home.

"Hey." With her one word, he moved forward, and immediately his hand reached out for hers, intertwining their fingers. The subtle action warmed her whole body that was cold from the coastal wind. Emma had been so wrapped up in her own head she hadn't realized until their skin touched.

"I thought I might find you here, Swan." The uptick of his smile to one side brought out a smile for Emma too. God he was perfect, or rather perfect for her.

"And how did you possibly know that?" Emma asked.

"Because this is where I come when something's troubling me." Emma moved forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "Anything I can help with, love?"

"Actually, yeah. You could marry me." The look on his face when she said it made Emma's heart ache. He looked so surprised, and then with another second so happy.

"I could, could I?" His tone held traces of his humor, but was thickened with emotion.

Emma nodded, planning to pull him in for another kiss only for Killian to move back and get down on one knee before her. She watched as he pulled a ring from his pocket, but the beautiful collection of stones didn't compare to the look in Killian's eyes right now. That bright blue gaze had met hers a thousand times but every time the spark remained. Every time he saw her for her. Not the savior, just Emma.

"It's bad form to deny a man as in love as I am a proposal, Swan." Emma laughed as he sobered up some and continued on.

"Emma, I knew ever since our first moment that you were different. There is no one word to describe you, for you are everything. You heal me, teach me, love me every day, and only with you have I managed to become the man I want to be. You have given me every good thing in my life: a family, a home, and hope that the future might be brighter than the past. I would give you the whole damn world if I could, but in the end all I have is myself, and a promise that I will love you for now and always. In this life and in every one, I am yours, Emma. Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

In a second Killian was back on his feet and sliding the ring on her finger and they were coming together, but still a whisper away from a kiss. Emma ran her hand across his cheek, looking into his blue eyes and sensing that this was exactly what she'd been searching for.

"I love you just as much, Killian, and nothing and no one is ever going to change that. You have me forever." With that, they sealed this new chapter with a kiss, one that outshone all the others in their very long, very beautiful history.

Emma didn't know exactly how long the moment lasted, it could have been a lifetime or a second, but she knew every part of it was right. She felt free and fearless knowing that they were on their way to happily ever after. When she pulled back from the kiss, resting her forehead against Killian's she felt totally at peace. She took the chance to breathe him in, taking in everything between them and it was perfect. Running her hand along the lapel of his jacket she whispered up to him.

"Let's go home," Emma said, watching as understanding crossed Killian's features. They had some celebrating to do, and it wasn't exactly appropriate for their public setting.

" _Emma, we've got a bit of a situation at Granny's. Can I get your help with this?"_

Emma groaned at her father's voice crackling through the radio. She could have sworn she hadn't even brought it with her, only for Killian to grab it from his own hip and hand it to her. She smiled despite the interruption. Even if it was frustrating that their moment was being hijacked by some local town craziness, Emma still felt like she was floating on air.

"You don't think he knows, do you?" Killian grinned and was about to respond when her mother's voice came through the radio.

" _And bring Killian - over."_

" _Snow, we don't have to say over."_

" _That's what they do in the movies. Don't they Neal?"_

Emma and Killian both laughed at the back and forth between her parents and Emma reached up for one last kiss before taking his hand again and flicking her wrist bringing them to Granny's.

The 'situation' ended up being an impromptu family breakfast, and the second Emma and Killian announced their engagement her family and the town went wild. A royal wedding! What was anyone to do?

Emma didn't care. Her parents could plan what they wanted. The town could say what they needed to say. All that mattered was the man holding her hand beside her, who was going to be hers from now until forever. This love had already seen her through so much, and it was going to see her through everything still to come, and _that_ was the only kind of happily ever after Emma would ever wish for.

…..

 _Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in  
And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will  
Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again  
And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone_

 _In silent screams,  
In wildest dreams  
I never dreamed of this_

 _This love is good, this love is bad  
This love is alive back from the dead  
These hands had to let it go free  
And this love came back to me_

 _Tossing, turning, struggled through the night with someone new  
And I could go on and on, on and on  
Lantern burning, flickered in my mind for only you  
But you're still gone, gone, gone_

 _Been losing grip,  
On sinking ships  
You showed up just in time_

 _This love is good, this love is bad  
This love is alive back from the dead  
These hands had to let it go free  
And this love came back to me_

 _This love left a permanent mark  
This love is glowing in the dark  
These hands had to let it go free  
And this love came back to me_

 _This love, this love, this love, this love... [4x]_

 _Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave  
Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees  
When you're young you just run  
But you come back to what you need_

 _This love is good, this love is bad  
This love is alive back from the dead  
These hands had to let it go free  
And this love came back to me_

 _This love left a permanent mark  
This love is glowing in the dark  
These hands had to let it go free  
And this love came back to me_

 _This love, this love, this love, this love... [4x]_

 _ **Post-Note: For the 100**_ _ **th**_ _ **installment of the mixtape, I really wanted a fic that embodied a lot of my favorite parts of this show. Hopefully this has managed to do that. There's a reason so many people really love this couple, and why this CS fandom is so passionate and invested and it's because at the end of the day there have been some incredible moments. Plus, anyone who thought I was going to end my first 100 chapters without a proposal or a wedding is crazy. Anyway, to all of you who have either been on this journey with me from the beginning, or just found this or fall somewhere in between, thank you so much for your support and kindness. Now hopefully you'll join me for another 100.**_


	101. Paper Thin

_**A/N: Rewrite of Killian confronting Emma about avoiding him in 4x01 but Emma and Killian have a little more time before Leroy starts freaking out. I've been rewatching so many scenes recently, and there are roughly one thousand of them where if they just didn't get interrupted we'd have a lovely CS moment. This is my take on one of them. Inspired by the lyrics from 'Paper Thin' by Astrid S.**_

Life had been pretty non-stop for a while now. Ever since Killian had found her in New York and brought her back to this world where she was the savior, Emma felt like she was constantly in motion. In Storybrooke there was always something brewing, something coming down the pike and half the time Emma couldn't even see what it was. But today there were a few areas of concern. 

There was Regina for one thing. The ex-Evil Queen had gone into hiding, cutting herself off from the rest of the town in response to Emma bringing Robin's dead wife back. To say that this was awkward was an understatement, because on the one hand, Emma had ruined Regina's shot at a happy ending, but on the other, she'd saved an innocent woman's life and kept Regina from killing Robin's wife herself. Somehow that fact didn't seem to matter though, and Regina was angrier at Emma than she was at who she'd once been.

But saving Marion had to trump hurting Regina. Emma couldn't regret what she'd done because in the long run it was what was right. That didn't mean Emma didn't still feel guilty, and that she didn't feel for her son who was facing the same shunning as everyone else. On the contrary, she wished she could fix this too. If she had any sort of clue on how to make this better she would, but Henry was right. Regina wasn't ever going to listen to Emma, especially not when Emma was starting to get a little taste of happiness herself.

Which brought Emma to her second problem – Killian was starting to really matter to her. He was getting her to trust him, proving over and over that he was here for her and to make her life easier, and it was working. Slowly but surely her walls had been falling and it was like suddenly she looked up and he was there, taking up a spot in her heart she didn't know could ever be filled.

Then there was last night, and there weren't really words for what it felt like to hear the truth of all that he'd really done for her and to know what she'd seen and felt first hand. He followed her into the past so she could have a future, comforted her when she'd thought she lost her mother, pushed her to see who she really was and what she really wanted so that they could get back to Storybrooke. Killian sacrificed his home so she could return to hers and in the process he'd done the impossible – he'd made her want to believe that love could actually happen, and maybe it could happen for her.

Kissing him had been the most natural thing in the world and for a while all the fear and the doubt ebbed away. All that remained was the two of them and the honesty they had. It felt right and real and good, but it left her in the aftermath feeling paper thin, as if he could read every single thought and want and hope. She was too on display, was giving too much away and she started to retreat a little. Wariness was a tough habit to break, as was her need for independence. Relying on people only led to hurt, but Emma had still felt so safe leaning on him and letting him in, at least for a little while.

Emma spent a sleepless night debating what it all meant and how something between them could ever work. She was self-aware enough to know that she was carrying some major baggage. Emma doubted that anything could ever truly work between her and anyone, but all night she'd felt the niggling presence of hope and it had kept her tossing and turning. In the light of day Emma couldn't let the same debate eat away at her. She had to focus on anything else.

"I hope for his sake she doesn't give in to what she sometimes gives into."

Her mother's words pulled Emma back to the problem she could manage to think about again. She looked back at Henry, seeing him working the phone to try and reach Regina and she just hoped that the woman would let him in. Regina might think she had no one, but that wasn't right. Henry loved her and he was willing to fight to see her stay good if she'd just let him.

"He seems to be handling it well. I mean between losing and regaining his memories, seeing both of his moms with new men..." Oh God, they were going to have this talk now. It was best to correct Mary Margaret before this became a problem.

"Uh, speaking of that…"

How could Emma say this delicately? _'I actually haven't told him I might be making a habit of kissing a centuries old pirate.'_ Or perhaps _'Henry doesn't know that I'm starting to like one of Disney's most ridiculous villains, who's actually hot and charming and kind.'_ Her mom saved her from having to say either.

"He doesn't know about you and Hook?"

"There is no me and Hook." Mary Margaret's immediate hum of doubt told Emma her lie was not believed. It had sounded half assed even to her ears. "Okay, well I don't know what there is, but I certainly can't talk to Henry if I don't know what I'm talking about."

"Swan," Oh Jeez. Of course Killian would show up right now. He always seemed to have some kind of otherworldly awareness of when she was thinking or talking about him.

"Speaking of," she threw an awkward smile her Mom's way, watching as Mary Margaret took Hook in with a bit of intrigue.

"Mausoleum's all clear. Regina's not hiding there."

Emma looked back to him as her mother and her kept walking. She could feel this stupid smile on her face, knew everyone must be wondering what the hell was wrong with her but she kept moving forward.

"Thanks." She could have cringed at how weird she sounded in that moment, but if there was any justice in the world, he'd take the hint and find her later when she wasn't with her mother trying to hash out her feelings on their whole… _thing_.

"Swan, are you avoiding me?" Emma looked to her Mom.

"Will you give us a minute?" Mary Margaret's knowing look and slight nod gave Emma permission to keep walking with the hope that Killian would follow. He did of course, because that's what he always did, but still Emma felt too riled, too out of control to be having this conversation. She needed distance, and he wasn't giving it to her.

They moved around the corner, giving themselves at least a little room from the eyes of her family walking only a few paces behind and at least at first she tried to avoid his eyes. Emma knew the power one look from Killian tended to have over her, and she had to be strong, to put her foot down on needing time to think.

"I'm not avoiding you. I'm just…" _Totally avoiding you._ "Dealing with stuff. We have a crisis right now."

Killian held nothing back, treating her excuse as exactly what it was. He closed his eyes and replied with a tone that spoke volumes about how brittle her claim was.

"There is _always_ a crisis. Perhaps you should consider living your life during them, otherwise, you might miss it." His snippier tone made something low in Emma's stomach flutter to life. Killian was losing a little patience, pushing her as he sometimes did, and it always got to her when he did that. Why was he always getting to her?

" _My_ life? My life is being the savior, being a mother. I don't get to just go around kissing people because I want to. I have responsibilities, to my family, to this town." Killian was grinning at her and Emma snapped. "What?"

"You said you wanted to." Emma thought back and groaned, her hands going up in an exasperated motion.

"See that right there is why I'm keeping my distance." Emma walked passed him, further down the street and Killian called after her.

"So you are avoiding me!" She turned back around so fast her hair whipped a little over her shoulder.

"Why can't you just let it go?" Emma asked.

"Why can't you just admit the truth?" His words were so loaded, their weight more than they appeared and she understood his meaning. Why couldn't she just say that there was something happening between them? She was denying something so obvious.

"Okay yes, I'm avoiding you! Happy?"

Killian shook his head, closing the distance between them and reaching for her hand and Emma felt it's warmth and the little zing of pleasure that came at his touch automatically. All of the charge left his voice. He no longer sounded angry, but instead Emma heard the slightest hint of desperation.

"No, Emma. I'm not happy, and I don't think you are either. But last night, that kiss meant something. _We_ mean something."

Emma felt her heart giving out at that. She was half convinced it was going to sputter to a complete stop any second thanks to over work but she looked up to him and tried to resist just a little more. Before she could he continued on.

"We don't have to talk about the kiss and what it meant, love. You need your space and I understand that. If you're not ready I'll wait, but I want to be here Emma, even if it's just to help you in whatever crisis you're facing. I need to be here. Don't push me away, at least not fully."

She could hear the sincerity in his tone, saw it matched in those striking blue eyes of his and Emma knew that he meant every word. Her heart was aching to tell him that she could be that strong, strong enough to let him in, but it just felt so big. Could she really do that? Could she try to have faith in someone other than herself?

 _Yes_. One simple word, one simple feeling that came from her heart prompted Emma to close the last of the space between them and kiss Killian. She completely forgot about where they were, right there in the street for anyone to see, but Killian didn't seem to care either and he was meeting her beat for beat until someone loudly cleared their throat nearby.

Emma ripped back from Killian quickly, but she was still in his arms as she looked over to where her parents and Henry were now watching. _Oh shit!_

"Mom's got a boyfriend." Henry said teasingly and Emma thought she was going to die of embarrassment when her Dad grumbled somewhat angrily, arms crossing over his chest.

Emma knew she was likely beet red but she felt Killian chuckling as he stepped away from her. She shot a glance up to him warning him to be cool, before looking back to Henry. She opened her mouth to explain, but couldn't get the words out before they were interrupted.

"We're under attack!" Emma thought she might pass out from the sheer relief of Leroy's usually grating cries. Whatever this new foe was, it would likely be better than this impending conversation.

"Saved by the bell," Emma whispered as she asked her parents to keep Henry safe and then moved with Hook to find the monster in question.

For a while at least Emma had distraction, an ice monster set on destroying the town, but eventually she did have to face the truth and be honest with herself and with her family. But scary as it was, Emma didn't despair as much as she'd thought she would, because beside her, through it all, was Killian, eager and willing to see her through whatever crises life threw her way.

…..

 _My heart feels like the sharpest razor blade_ _  
_ _I really hope this won't give me away_ _  
_ _Cause I've been drowning here for days_ _  
_ _Like a watercolor about to fade_ _  
_ _Every inch of me is there to trace_ _  
_ _No secrets left here on my page_ _  
_ _Underneath my skin, I see a change_ _  
_ _Blood races right up to my face_ __

 _Bursting out, no, I can't take it_ _  
_ _You really wore me down_ _  
_ _Read my mind just like I'm naked_ _  
_ _There's no hiding now_ _  
_ _I'm paper thin, paper thin_ _  
_ _Paper thin, paper thin_ __

 _You make me feel like a piece of art_ _  
_ _Hanging on your wall, just like my heart_ _  
_ _Making shadows even in the dark_ _  
_ _I'm see-through but I won't fall apart_ __

 _Bursting out, no, I can't take it_ _  
_ _You really wore me down_ _  
_ _Read my mind just like I'm naked_ _  
_ _There's no hiding now_ _  
_ _I'm paper thin, paper thin_ _  
_ _Paper thin, paper thin_ _  
_ _Paper thin, paper thin_ _  
_ _Paper thin_ __

 _Slowly you've been wearing me down_ _  
_ _Pulling up my roots from the ground_ _  
_ _The way I feel's so obvious now_ _  
_ _Cause I'm paper thin in love with you now_ __

 _I'm bursting out, no, I can't take it_ _  
_ _You really wore me down_ _  
_ _Read my mind just like I'm naked_ _  
_ _There's no hiding now_ _  
_ _I'm paper thin, paper thin_ _  
_ _Paper thin, paper thin_ _  
_ _Paper thin, paper thin_ _  
_ _Paper thin_

 _ **Post-Note: I feel like I need more Killian and Emma almost fights. Those moments where Killian starts to lose his patience and then Emma gets mad are some of the show's bests in my opinion, and I've always felt like they could have had more in this moment. But hey, what is Leroy even on the show for if not to sabotage great moments, right? Anyway, hope you guys liked the chapter and thanks so much for reading!**_


	102. I Love You Always Forever

_**A/N: Short post 5-B fic taking place the night before Emma and Killian's wedding. They've both been convinced to have the night apart from each other as tradition dictates, but neither of them is all too keen at the prospect. Cute moment when they finally stop waiting. Inspired by the cover of the song 'I Love You Always Forever' by Betty Who.**_

Whoever came up with the genius idea that a couple should spend the night before their wedding apart had just become the top annoyance in Emma Swan's life. That was no easy feat given everything she'd faced and conquered as the Savior, and yet they'd done it. She was more put out by this tradition than anything else in her life by far. The only close second was her mother, who had been the biggest advocate for this little bit of attempted normalcy.

At the time, Emma didn't really consider the implications. It was one night away, and they'd faced harder trials than that before. Emma and Killian had been through hell and back, battled dozens of demons, and overcome the worst moments any one person could ever bear to see, surely they could make it through this.

But it wasn't that Emma couldn't survive without Killian being here, it was that she didn't want to put herself through this. When they'd said goodbye a few hours ago after dropping Henry off with Regina, Emma realized that this night away would lead to discomfort. She'd never sleep as well, never feel as safe, never have that same carefree belief that everything was going to be okay when he wasn't with her. So why were they doing this?

Shouldn't she feel good before getting married? Or maybe the point was to remind her that life without this man was less than the life she wanted. It was the only rationale that made even a little sense as Emma paced back and forth in their living room. Yeah, maybe the whole thing was a means to convince her how much she needed Killian, but there was only one problem – she didn't need convincing. Emma was already certain of her love for him and her want to be with him through everything life might throw her way.

"This is so ridiculous," Emma said aloud into the emptiness of the house, and she wished that Killian were here right now to make some sort of witty retort or comfort her a little. He was always making her feel better when she faced things she had no interest in, and she'd grown so used to that, needing it just as she needed him.

Another hour passed and in that span of that time, Emma tried to distract herself half a dozen ways. Netflix didn't hold the same allures without her curious and question-prone pirate beside her, and the bit of sheriff paperwork she had at home was too boring to hold her attention for longer than a few seconds. There was barely anything left to clean since she'd been unintentionally doing so since Killian said goodbye earlier, and even cocoa, her most trusted source of culinary comfort fell short. Emma just couldn't seem to find the happy or the peace she needed.

When Emma realized that distraction wasn't going to work, she changed tactics, deciding that instead of pushing away thoughts of Killian she was going to embrace them. Emma let her mind wander to all the times they'd shared. There were so many moments between them, some happy and some not, but in the end the good always outweighed the bad.

In truth it was the quiet moments, those ones Killian was always so keen on chasing and making the most of that proved the most entrancing. Emma thought of the past few weeks specifically, and what life post-underworld had looked like, smiling at all the joy and bliss that being back together had brought.

There was the afternoon that Storybrooke had gotten some unexpected sun showers for one. Emma and Killian were out on rounds, checking out a call about something near the edge of town. It ended up being nothing, but they'd been caught in the warm rain with light still flitting through the trees.

Killian's instinct had been to get to shelter and keep Emma comfortable, but she'd had a slightly different idea. She'd never actually kissed someone in the rain before, and for a moment she let herself see if it lived up to the hype, surprising Killian by pulling him down for a kiss. It was perfect in the end, but that was likely more to do with him than with the weather.

Another time Killian woke her up at the crack of dawn claiming there was something she should see. Emma was not at all thrilled by the prospect of such an early morning, until she saw what he had up his sleeve. Sunrise on the beach it turned out was actually worth the ungodliness of the hour, and since he'd also made her coffee and brought breakfast, it was as close to a perfect picnic as could be had.

The world was calm and the worries and vexations of her life were all gone in that moment. Emma had Killian's hand to hold and a new outlook on what would have otherwise been a burdensome day. But just that fresh beginning was enough to see her through until she could be back in Killian's arms again.

More and more memories played through Emma's mind, including many that included her parents and Henry, but the uniting theme for all of them was that life was simply better when she was with Killian. She'd lost him countless times, but through the grace of whatever powers were at play, she'd found him again. So why was she denying herself any time to be with him? Life was too precious, and the love between them too important to turn aside, especially for some outdated tradition.

With that realization, Emma flicked her wrist, willing her magic to bring her to Killian. In a second she was transported from their house to the Jolly Roger, and Emma let herself take the ship in fully.

For a very long time this had been Killian's home, his refuge in a life consumed by loss and darkness, but he'd shown Emma time and time again that home was now wherever they were together. Now when she looked at him across the way, Emma couldn't help but think that Killian looked slightly out of place here, or perhaps it was just the frown on his face. Emma had gotten so used to Killian's smile, especially recently, that the look made her heart ache slightly.

Emma continued to watch him for a moment as he paced back and forth on the decks without revealing herself. It struck her as so telling that he'd fallen prey to the same habit she had in the face of this night away. Whatever loss she felt without him, was mirrored in Killian too, and it made the last bit of anxiety that she'd been holding close fall away. God she loved this man, and she was so lucky to have him.

"It's just one night. You can handle one night."

Emma bit her lip to keep from smiling outright as she heard him muttering to himself. It filled her with the most profound sense of joy, watching her cocky, self-assured, soon to be husband falling apart a little bit without her. Then again, she'd been feeling just the same. Maybe it was time to put them both out of their misery.

"Maybe you can, but I can't." Immediately Killian turned to find her and the relief that crossed his features couldn't be denied.

"Swan." Emma grinned at the way Killian said her name, just as wonderstruck and wanting as he always seemed to be when faced with her.

Emma made her way to stand with him, her fingers coming to intertwine with his as she stepped close. As soon as they touched again, Emma felt that perfect sense of warmth flowing through her that had been missing for the past few hours. This was the only place she ever wanted to be, next to Killian, holding his hand. It was her home.

"Gods I missed you." Emma laughed at the freely expressed sentiment, bringing her other hand up to run along his cheek.

"I missed you too."

"This was a terrible idea. I know it's what your mother wants, love, but-,"

Emma pulled Killian down for a kiss, abandoning his hand so she could bring him closer. In a second he was with her, completely forgetting whatever he was about to say and letting himself feel this moment with her. The kiss deepened, and Emma's fingers came to tangle in his hair as he pulled her flush against him, but finally they broke apart, and Emma continued to reassure him.

"She'll understand, and even if she doesn't it won't matter. I love you, and I'm choosing you, and she'll just have to deal with it." Killian's smile at Emma's particular choice in words made for a beautiful sight, but before she could get too caught up in those blue eyes of his, Emma turned to look out to the water.

The stars were out in full force, and the full moon cast the palest light down on everything. It was beautiful, and if she was honest, very romantic. Emma thought, not for the first time how amazing the world looked from the deck of this ship. She'd never really had the chance to enjoy it, for her past experiences had usually been fraught with some sort of peril, but they had this moment right here for another memory.

"It's beautiful out here," Emma finally said, turning to find that Killian had been only watching her instead of taking in their surroundings.

"There's not a star in that sky that shines half as bright as you do love." Emma rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. Her cheesy, charming pirate was just slightly too much sometimes, but still she loved it.

"Promise me that you'll always say things like that." Killian smiled.

"Aye, Swan, I will." His voice felt like the softest touch against her skin, and it prompted her to ask for more.

"And that you'll always call me Swan even though it'll technically be Emma _Jones_ now."

"There will never be a day when you aren't my Swan." Emma pulled him in closer, so their lips were just a whisper apart.

"And promise that no matter what you'll always love me."

"I will love you always and forever, Emma."

"Good."

With that, Emma pulled Killian down for another kiss that lingered longer, turning into so much more, and the Savior and her pirate had their night aboard his ship before sailing into the rest of their forever.

….

 _Feels like I'm standing in a timeless dream of light mists  
Of pale amber rose  
Feels like I'm lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent touching  
Discovering you._

 _Those days of warm rains come rushing back to me  
Miles of windless summer night air  
Secret moments shared in the heat of the afternoon  
Out of the stillness  
Soft spoken words_

 _Say it, say it again_

 _I love you always forever  
Near and far closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you  
I love you always forever  
Near and far closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you_

 _You've got the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen  
You've got me almost melting away  
As we lay there under blue sky with pure white stars  
Exotic sweetness a magical time_

 _Say it, say it again_

 _I love you always forever  
Near and far closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you  
I love you always forever  
Near and far closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you_

 _Say you'll love love me forever  
Never stop, never whatever  
Near and far and always  
And everywhere and everything  
And everywhere and everything  
And everywhere and everything_

 _I love you always forever  
Near and far closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you  
I love you always forever  
Near and far closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it. Just a tiny little update for the mixtape today, since my life has been throwing some unexpected curveballs and my time is very limited this weekend (case in point the last line of this is so incredibly cutesy, but heck, it's what popped into my head in the little time I had). Whatever else is happening though, I always like to find at least a small window of time to soak in the cuteness that is CS. It makes each day just a little brighter. Hope you guys enjoyed, and thanks for reading!**_


	103. Thinking About You

_**A/N: This chapter was prompted by a reader who wanted an AU where Emma and Killian have a fight. Emma's instinct was that they're over and Killian is done with her. She goes out with her friends looking for distraction, and then Killian shows up. There will be some angst (see perceived break up) but a cute reunion to follow. Accompanying song is 'Thinking About' by Lauren Aquilina.**_

 _Gotta keep going. Gotta keep moving._

That had been Emma Swan's mantra for the last five hours. Ever since she stormed out of her boyfriend Killian's apartment earlier tonight (actually he was probably her ex by now), Emma had been running. She'd wandered around the city trying to keep the feelings at bay until she ended up at her best friend Ruby's apartment.

With very little divulgence, Emma made it clear that she needed to go out. It was her only hope of not falling into a black hole after all the regrettable things she'd said and done tonight. Ruby was accommodating, knowing Emma well enough to realize that this was an emergency. The troops (AKA Emma's three other best friends) had been rounded up and now here they were, in a part of town she never ever came to trying to think about anything but Killian.

It was brutal work, and a losing prospect, but Emma did her best. She purposely skipped reading the drink menu and ordered a shot of anything but rum, but when the bartender smiled at her like he was interested in more than getting her the drink, Emma immediately compared him to Killian. He was lacking because his hair wasn't dark enough, his eyes weren't that same piercing shade of blue, and most importantly he didn't love her and she didn't love him.

And that was what all of this came back to. Emma had been about to say that she loved Killian, after months of feeling like she couldn't summon the courage and then at the last second she'd choked. Killian knew too. He watched her shut down right before him and he tried to reason with her. It would all be alright. He could wait. He knew the truth. But Emma was still panicked and when she panicked she acted out.

One second they'd been enjoying the end of a lovely dinner together, and the next thing she knew Emma was yelling at Killian, saying that he was insane to even think that this could work. She claimed he was trying to change her into something she wasn't even when she knew that was a lie. Emma just couldn't seem to stop fighting because the fear had taken over.

" _Just say it, Killian!" Emma watched him jump a bit at her raised voice. She hadn't expected it either, but there it was. She was feeling cornered, panicking in the face of the beautiful dinner he'd made them and the movie night he'd set up._

" _Say what?"_

" _Say that this was a mistake. You're clearly angry right now, and it's my fault, so just end this so we can both move on!"_

" _Bloody hell, Emma – I am angry, but it's because all I want is to love you and you won't let me. You're freaking out because you think I need the words, but I don't. I know the truth. I know underneath it all that you feel as I do. If the words are too much, then I don't need them. But you're still pushing me away. I'm trying so hard to hold on. I just need a chance."_

" _You don't want me, Killian."_

" _You're wrong, Emma. You're dead fucking wrong." And she knew he wasn't lying. Her superpower was fool-proof at this point, not that Killian ever tried to lie to her. But it was too late. Her autopilot had kicked in._

" _I have to go."_

" _Emma, don't leave! Emma!"_

Then she'd slammed the door and sprinted as quickly as she could down the stairs and out into the street. She was good at that part. Running came easy. Or at least it usually did. Right now though, she'd never missed anyone more in her life or felt more terrified than she did knowing she'd left Killian.

As soon as the door closed behind her Emma knew it was a mistake, and when more and more time passed without him finding her, she knew it was really over. She'd ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her and all because she let her fear get the better of her. Killian made her happy, more than that he made her feel safe and wanted, but old habits had made a mess of things again and Emma was near tears thinking about it.

Emma downed the shot that was placed in front of her in a hurry and asked for another that she tossed back just as quickly. She was about to ask for a third when her friend Mary Margaret came to stand beside her.

"Ems, are you sure you don't want -,"

"If the next words out of your mouth have anything to do with talking then no. I want a drink, a dance, and a distraction. That's it. No feelings. Definitely no talking."

"Emma I really don't think that's the right way to handle this."

"That's the problem, Mary Margaret. You're thinking. Tonight is about not thinking."

"Wrong. Tonight is about figuring out what the hell you're doing." Emma turned to see Ruby on her other side and groaned. Her friend ignored Emma's displeasure and pulled her back to their table forcing her to sit.

"Not you too."

"We're all in agreement Emma. Something's gotta give, and yes it might take quite a bit of tequila, but you're going to admit the truth one way or another and then you're going to find a way to fix this." Emma's heart leapt into her throat.

"And what is the truth?" Emma asked, knowing full well that she was hardly the master of secrets she pretended to be. She never had been very good at hiding her feelings for Killian.

"That you love Killian, Emma." Belle's words were soft but determined.

"I know I do." Her friends all stared at her for a moment, clearly not having expected that confirmation.

"So what's the problem?" Elsa asked from her spot beside Belle.

"The problem is love doesn't work! At least not for me."

"Bull shit." Ruby's words carried through the bar as she sat there unimpressed.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. That's an excuse, and it might have worked with every other man, but Killian is different."

The statement was true, and yet Killian was so much more than that. There had never been another guy, another person even, who Emma felt truly understood her as well as him. Somehow she'd lucked into finding a man who was kind and charming and smart and sexy all in one, and more than that he wanted her. He knew all of her flaws, saw the walls around her heart, but he was patient, and that patience and affection had thawed her resistance months ago. Tonight they'd all snapped back into place just for a moment, but it had been enough to wreak complete havoc on everything.

"It's too late. He told me not to go and I did."

"It's never too late, Emma. That man didn't just stop loving you because you're scared. Newsflash, you've always been scared. He weirdly loves you fear and all." Emma felt a small, strangled sound escape her throat. It might have been a laugh, but it also sounded like it might be a sob.

"He is pretty weird."

"But he's you're brand of weird. Trust us, Emma. There's no reason to be afraid. You can go back, you can find him and he won't turn you away." Mary Margaret patted Emma's hand as she spoke her encouragement.

"But how do you know?" Emma needed some kind of proof. It was the only way to handle her mind when it got irrational like this. She needed to see things to believe them.

"Because he's been begging us all to tell him where you are so he can try and fix this."

"He has?" Emma asked, completely amazed that Killian would even be trying to make this better after what she'd done.

"Yes."

"Did you tell him?"

"Girl code says we can't." Emma grabbed her jacket, hopping out of her seat as her friends looked on.

"Good. Don't tell him. I'm going to find him. I have to make this right."

"Atta girl!"

But when Emma turned around to head towards the door, she saw an unexpected face looking back at her. It was the same face that had looked at her every day for months with nothing but smiles and warmth and love. Killian was here, and his eyes were locked on hers with an intensity that she couldn't pull away from.

"Killian?"

Emma couldn't tell if this was actually him or just some more wishful thinking on her part. But when he moved forward and planted a kiss on her in the middle of the bar that was all too real to deny, she knew this was happening. All it took was a second for her to kiss him back, clinging to him in the hopes that she could say she was sorrier than she could ever begin to describe without leaving his embrace.

"You are not leaving me, Emma." The determination in his voice was commanding, and yet Emma knew that if she truly wanted out he'd let her go. The thing was that wasn't what she wanted. Not even in the slightest.

"I'm not?" The breathiness in her voice somewhat outshone the humor she'd been going for.

"No. We're happy together, and I am going to see to it that you're happy every day for the rest of our lives."

Emma opened her mouth to say that he was right and to apologize but Killian kept going.

"And because you _do_ love me, Emma. I know that you do. This thing between us is real and we're in it together. I feel it here, every time I so much as think of you, which is every damn second of the day." Killian brought her hand up to his chest and she could feel the spastic pace that his heart was currently moving at.

"Okay." Killian clearly hadn't expected her to acquiesce so quickly, and the furrow of his brow in that moment made Emma's heart lurch as she smiled.

"Okay?" The warble in his voice made Emma so happy, but she had more to say.

"I was wrong."

"You were?" Emma felt her strength rising at the hope in his tone.

"I love you. I love you so much and more than that I trust you. I didn't mean what I said. I want you to love me. I need you to even. You made me need you. I was just running, but I don't want to anymore." Killian's hand traced a gentle pattern along her back as he held her close.

"You love me." He said as a definitive statement. There was no question, just awe and happiness and a smile playing at his lips that made Emma's heart flutter.

"I do." She pulled Killian down for another kiss that was quickly growing steamier by the second until they heard a throat clear beside them.

"Maybe you two love birds should fly on home now, before the whole bar gets more of a show than we bargained for." Ruby's words made Emma laugh.

"Sounds a good idea, love." Killian said in a whisper to Emma and she agreed, taking his hand in his and heading back there with no intention of ever running again.

…

 _Found myself in a house we've never been before_

 _I'm wasted and I'm dancing dizzily_

 _I know you would think I'm so far out of character_

 _Cos you know me_

 _I guess I came here looking for distraction_

 _In a part of town we never used to go_

 _Keep my body busy so my head might just forget_

 _What my heart knows_

 _And all I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _All I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _If only I could lose my mind_

 _Then maybe I would find a way out_

 _But all I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _I'm thinking about you and you seem so unaffected_

 _And I'm fighting not to feel, but nothing works_

 _Been chasing temporary highs and strangers_

 _And I'm tired_

 _I don't know how emptiness can be this heavy_

 _And your absence be so unavoidable_

 _Funny how the hurt is never equal_

 _When it all falls_

 _Now all I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _All I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _If only I could lose my mind_

 _Then maybe I would find a way out_

 _But all I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _I'm thinking about you_

 _And all I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _All I'm thinking about, is not thinking abut you_

 _Id only I could lose my mind_

 _Then maybe I would find a way out_

 _But all I'm thinking about, is not thinking about you_

 _I'm thinking about you_

 _Not thinking abut you_

 _Not thinking about you_

 _I'm thinking about you_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you to my lovely reader for this prompt. It felt like getting to write 'Riot' again but this time kind of from Emma's POV. As most of you know, I do not usually write fighting CS, but I'm always interested if it's moments like this – fighting because they love each other too much tends to be okay in my book, as long as it ends well in the end. Anyway, hope that you all enjoyed, and thank you so much for reading!**_


	104. Feelings Show

_**A/N: AU where Emma works at the library with Belle, and Killian Jones is a charming sheriff's deputy who comes in every day for a new book. At first Emma was convinced it was all a ruse to get her to go out with him, but she's been pretty wicked with her book recommendations, and he comes in with honest proof that he's read them every day. Somewhere along the way he got past her walls and made Emma fall in love with him, but still he hasn't asked her out… Inspired by 'Feelings Show' by Colbie Caillat.**_

Living in a small town, Emma knew a thing or two about the quiet moments in life. Storybrooke, her home for as long as she could remember, was a quaint little town in Maine, were nothing out of the common way ever seemed to happen. Compound that with the fact that Emma worked in a library, and it began to feel like quiet didn't even cover it. This was a sleepy life, kind of hazy in its sameness, or it had been for a really long time.

Until the morning Emma met him – Killian Jones. He was the newest (and only) deputy at the sheriff's station, and Emma had known from the moment they met that he was different. Killian was anything but quiet, bringing so much more vibrancy to her life in an instant than she'd had in forever. Two months ago he'd strode into town and into her life and everything was different now because of it.

It was a day just like any other, and Emma was at Granny's grabbing her morning coffee before heading to the library. She nodded and waved to her neighbors that she saw in the diner each morning and assumed life would be exactly as it always was. Granny took her order and set out to grab her coffee and Danish, but then a voice she didn't recognize sounded out, calling her attention.

" _I don't think we've met yet, love."_

Emma turned to see who the owner of that accented and electrifying voice was and found the single most attractive man she'd ever met. He had dark hair, a present but not unruly beard over a strong jaw, and eyes so blue they seemed too unique a color to look away from. Emma hardly knew if she looked at him a second or an hour. It could have been either or anything in between.

" _Um, hi."_ That was it, Emma's only attempt at conversation and it would have been regrettable if his smile didn't grow and his eyes didn't light up at her words. He continued on with his introduction _._

" _Killian Jones, new town deputy."_

He made to shake her hand but Emma just looked at it, still too caught up in him to remember her manners for a minute. It took another second for her to get it together and then she offered hers in return. When their fingers touched that first time the spark already there between them ignited, burning brighter than anything Emma was prepared for.

" _You've yet to give me your name, love."_

" _Emma. Emma Swan."_

Killian's smile when he had her name made Emma's head spin and they were still holding hands until Granny came with Emma's order. Emma moved back immediately and then did the only thing she could think to do when faced with such attraction. She ran right back over the library and got herself lost amongst the stacks for a while.

It took Killian all of two days to find her again, this time on her home turf, and when he came he was just as charming and delightful as before, which wreaked havoc on her heart rate. Emma remembered actual fear coursing through her that she might pass out or something, but she'd managed eventually pointing him in the direction of a book to read.

Killian was all smiles and a gracious thank you, but Emma knew it was still flirting, and even if she liked the feeling of his eyes on her and his apparent interest, she tried not to flirt back. She'd had just about enough heartbreak in this life, and men like Killian, with those handsome faces and protective instincts were one thing and one thing alone – trouble, with a capital t.

Only Killian never actually pushed her for more than friendly banter, and he also never gave up. Every single day he showed up in her library, looking so ridiculously hot with his badge and his gun that it made Emma blush like she was a thirteen-year-old girl and not a twenty-eight year old woman. He'd ask for a new book and Emma would do her absolute best not to let any of the dirty thoughts she had in her mind about him slip. It would be wrong to lead him on when she knew she wasn't ready to trust anyone and that she might not ever be ready.

So for a while Emma tested him. She would give Killian the hardest, most difficult reads, but in the spirit of fairness, she made them consumable in the short window of time Killian always allowed himself. Okay maybe it wasn't fairness, but a real desire to see him every day. If Emma gave him _War and Peace_ , he wouldn't be back for a whole month, and then she wouldn't get to see those piercing eyes or that grin for a whole day.

Day in and day out, Killian returned not just with the book but with some sort of proof he'd read it. If Emma gave him a book on astronomy, he was talking about Cygnus and then making a comment on how she shone brighter than any star. Or if she gave him one on the old spice trade, he'd manage to bring up her use of cinnamon in her cocoa. Killian always managed to tie it back to her somehow, and every morning Emma smiled or laughed because of him.

When he left, Emma also got one little keepsake. A bookmark of sorts that Emma knew was entirely for her benefit. Sometimes it was newspaper clippings about things she might like to do in town, or a note on what he thought on a particular part of the book, but on the best days with the books Killian enjoyed the most, Emma found a flower pressed into the pages. It was embarrassing, but she kept absolutely everything he put in those books and took them home. She had a pretty substantial collection at this point too that always reminded her of him.

Of course none of this had gone unnoticed. In fact, Emma's coworker and best friend Belle brought Killian up all the time. Belle was hyper vigilant all through their workday, looking for a glimpse of Killian, or filling Emma in on a lunch break or when running an errand if she'd seen him.

And forget the moments where Killian _actually_ came in. Belle always excused herself to the back, but she was a grade-a eavesdropper and had a better memory than anyone Emma knew, which meant all of their other friends heard word for word what each day's interaction was like. This set off a seemingly never ending cycle of her friends telling Emma that she needed to go out with that man. They'd said as much last night during a girls' night only for Emma to admit that she wanted to go out with Killian but he wouldn't ask.

Which was what had gotten them here, to a moment where all of Emma's friends were inside the library trying to hash out some sort of plan for Emma. They largely disregarded her own wishes, but Emma knew it was out of love. Her friends wanted to see her happy and Killian seemed a potential way for Emma to find such joy.

"Just tell him, Ems. Right when he walks in the door ask him out. If you think too much you'll chicken out."

"Thanks, Belle. That's such a vote of confidence." Belle shrugged and Emma smiled despite herself. Her friend wasn't wrong after all. Emma had a track record of backing out because she was scared.

"You are not doing that. Asking him out is one thing, but everyone's seen this dance the two of you do. There's a back and forth. Don't mess with the hot verbal foreplay." Emma groaned at Ruby's addition but before she could respond, Mary Margaret put her two cents in.

"What if we made it a double date? I could call David and we could get him to help-," Emma put her hands up quickly.

"Absolutely not! No double date." All of Emma's friends smiled at Emma, and she realized she'd been had. She rolled her eyes and kept going. "I actually have my own idea on how to handle it guys. I'm not completely helpless."

"You do?" Ruby asked just as Mary Margaret said "Of course you aren't," and Belle said "Let's hear it."

"I figured since all of this started with books – I could give him one that kind of gets the point across." Ruby and Mary Margaret looked doubtful but understanding made its way to Belle's face and Emma's friend clapped excitedly.

"Emma, that's genius! Funny but clear. It'll be fantastic!"

"What will be?" Mary Margaret and Ruby seemed put out at not knowing the plan but at that moment Belle started freaking out.

"Oh my God he's early. Come on we have to get to the back."

Emma would have groaned aloud if she wasn't so caught in the fact that Killian was indeed coming here right now. His crossing the street seemed to take forever, but then he was there, opening the front door and throwing that same smile her way again.

"Good morning, Emma." Emma tried to steady herself a little bit as she stood behind the desk. His voice still sent that same spiral of longing that it had that first day.

"Good morning, Captain."

Killian grinned at the nickname. He was by no means a Captain on the force, but after coming in one morning that Emma gave him a sailing book with so much more information than any one person should know, she'd said it in jest. It turned out he loved sailing, and one of her trickier subjects had actually been one he really delighted in. On that day Emma found a rose inside the cover still fresh enough that the scent lingered.

"So, what do you have in store for me today?" Emma felt her hand shake slightly as she reached under the counter for what was either going to be a crazy good idea, or a crazy bad one. Either way she was doing this. Emma would not chicken out.

A beat passed where Killian and Emma both stared at the book she'd placed before him. It was titled _Asking People out for Dummies_ and was from the 1980s, completely outdated, and had never been checked out in the entire time Emma worked there. But it was also as big a gesture as she could make aside from throwing herself in his arms for a kiss. When he laughed, Emma smiled, knowing things were going to be okay.

"Not particularly fond of my methods, Swan?"

"What methods? You've yet to ever ask me out." Killian's smile faltered for a minute, and Emma got the distinct pleasure of watching a bit of a blush cross over his cheeks. When his hand came to scratch behind his ear she knew she had him. That was his tell. He was feeling a little embarrassed.

Good – it served him right. She'd been waiting for him to get himself together for a while now. Sure, she'd started off hesitant but that was months ago. No one had forever to wait around for cute cops to ask them out, not even the slightly guarded librarian.

"I guess I haven't. You see in my mind I feel like I've done it a thousand times." This was something new for Emma. She had never witnessed Killian this flustered before and for some reason it only made her want him more.

Emma moved from around the counter to stand before him as he watched her curiously. More words were coming out of his mouth, and they were all just as sweetly enlightening.

"I didn't want to push you, love. I could see your hesitation at first, and then I don't know the hesitation became my own. The last thing I want is to risk losing you at all, Emma. This – well really _you_ – are the best part of my day. I don't think I can bear to ruin what we do have."

Emma could have tried to find some words that would ease this little loop of worry Killian had stumbled into, or she could take a different approach, one far more illuminating and way more satisfying. She moved closer to him, stepping against him and then pulling him down by the collar of his jacket for a kiss. Emma had wanted to kiss Killian for what felt like forever and now she had, and in only a second he was kissing her back, giving her everything as she did the same to him.

Her imagination couldn't hold a candle to reality. This kiss was something else, something completely out of her realm of experience just like meeting him had been, but this time Emma wasn't running. Hell, she wanted to do the opposite of run. She wanted Killian's kisses all the time, every day.

When they finally pulled back, Emma opened her eyes first, still trying to catch her breath as she watched Killian's reaction. The butterflies low in her stomach fluttered with even more intensity when she looked at him. He seemed so happy and so in awe of that kiss and it showed Emma that she wasn't alone in this. Maybe she wouldn't ever have to be alone again if she played her cards right.

"Did I ruin things?" Killian looked at her like she was crazy, clearly not remembering the words he'd said before. "When I kissed you, did I ruin anything?"

He finally seemed to understand her meaning and he smiled, shaking hid head as his hands roamed a bit more, continuing to hold her to him.

"No love. Quite the opposite."

"But you still haven't asked me out… What does a girl have to do to -," Emma's teasing was quickly silenced by another kiss, just as hot and passionate and hopeful as the one before but this time Killian was fully in control and Emma was just along for the ride, the insanely fantastic, life-altering ride.

"Would you go out with me, love?" Killian asked the question just a whisper away from her as he pulled back again and Emma nodded slightly.

"Yes." Killian was about to kiss her again when a banging sound from the back of the library pulled them from the moment.

" _Fuck!"_

" _Ruby, shhh!"_ The dramatic stage whispering from Belle made Emma laugh.

" _Why don't we have Mary Margaret drop the encyclopedia on_ your _foot and then you can tell me to shush."_

" _I didn't mean to!"_

Emma turned back to Killian with an apologetic smile and she felt the vibration of his laughter between them. Technically her friends had just ruined the moment, but Emma was too happy with the state of things to be angry.

"Pick you up at seven?" Emma tilted her head slightly.

"Pretty fast for a guy who needed a how-to book to ask me out."

"We haven't any more time to waste, Swan. There's a lot to make up for." Killian dropped one last quick kiss to her lips before stepping away. Emma watched him grab the book and drop off the one he had before and then head out the door back into the day.

It took only a matter of seconds for her friends to swarm around her, but Emma was still caught up in Killian's words and the promise of what their date tonight might bring. And in that moment, she made a promise to just let her feelings show. She could trust Killian, and he was right – there wasn't any more time left to waste when they could just be together.

…

 _You told me you'd wait here patiently, but  
I wonder if he's kidding  
Well, maybe he could be serious now  
Maybe not  
Maybe not  
Because_

 _Love is crazy, pretty baby; take it real slow  
My feelings show  
All you have to do is never ever let go  
My feelings show  
And I want you to know my feelings show_

 _I'm sorry it's taking me so long  
To find out what I'm feeling  
I wonder if it will come to me  
Maybe not  
Maybe not  
Because_

 _Love is crazy, pretty baby; take it real slow  
My feelings show  
All you have to do is never ever let go  
My feelings show  
And I want you to know my feelings show how I want you to know_

 _What I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling a change  
And I'll let it take all over  
If you need time away, I won't ask you to stay  
But I don't want to lose you_

 _Love is crazy, pretty baby; take it real slow  
My feelings show  
All you have to do is never ever let go  
My feelings show  
Love is crazy, pretty baby; take it real slow  
My feelings show  
All you have to do is never ever let go  
My feelings show  
And I want you to know my feelings show_

 _Never ever let go  
My feelings show  
Never ever let go  
My feelings show  
Never ever let go  
My feelings show_

 _Feelings show, feelings show, feelings show_

 _ **Post-Note: This morning I woke up and felt like I wanted to rewrite 'Steady' all over again. I wanted hesitant but still open Emma, deputy Killian, and meddling friends and I wanted it so badly that I had to create a miniature AU where I could get some of that back. Sadly it didn't come with any baking, but it did come with fluff, which always makes everything better. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed and that you have a wonderful weekend!**_


	105. Do Nothing With Me

_**A/N: Just a short post 5-B fic where there's no big bads, and Killian has been going out of his way to make all of these incredible moments for him and Emma. Emma loves him for it, but she's decided to show him that sometimes doing nothing together can be just as wonderful as a night under the stars or a walk along the beach. Inspired by the song 'Do You Wanna Do Nothing With Me' by Lawrence.**_

If someone told Emma Swan as recently as a few years ago that true love existed, she'd have laughed in their face. One way to describe her old outlook was jaded, but another was realistic, and for a long time the stories and fairytales that claimed such a magic was real made her roll her eyes. The only bits of evidence Emma needed to cite were her past mistakes with men to show that nothing like true love existed.

Obviously time had changed that inclination. She'd come to Storybrooke and broken the curse with her love for her son. It was pure and real and Henry made her so happy. Emma was terrified of messing things up for him in the beginning, but that love gave her strength and eventually certainty and confidence came with it.

From there, she'd watched her parents, noticing how even in their cursed lives they'd felt the need to be together. Once they knew the truth, nothing could keep them apart for long. It still felt like a fairytale, something that was the product of their world and not the real one Emma lived in, but their status and their continued faith in each other paved the way for Emma to believe. By the time she met Killian and the feelings between them bloomed, she had that long missing ingredient that one needed to have for true love – hope.

Now Emma was a party to true love herself feeling those same connections and ties to Killian that her parents did to each other. It had only been a few weeks since they'd gotten confirmation, but Emma had known for a while that Killian was different and that she'd do whatever it took to be with him. She'd fought the darkness and waded through the Underworld to get to him and in all that time Emma learned that true love was about more than what the stories claimed. It was raw and real and electrifying in a way Emma couldn't really explain.

In the stories, true love was supposed to be all about passion that never ended, feelings that consumed you, and hope when all other hope was gone. Emma felt all of that, and she knew Killian did as well, but those grand moments and that driving need to make every bit of time they had to themselves more memorable really only worked in times of crisis. When there wasn't a lot of downtime that image of bigger being better could remain, but in times of quiet true love had to evolve, for despite its magic nothing could stay so animated all the time.

Recently life had been more relaxed in Storybrooke. No one was banging down her doors in the early morning hours needing help or calling in the middle of the night. Things were slow, some might even say normal, and it was amazing because it meant that all those stolen moments weren't so hard to come by anymore. Emma and Killian had time to spend together, and to ground themselves in what they'd been fighting for so long.

But there was one thing Emma had begun to really notice since returning from the Underworld. She suspected it before but hadn't had incredible amounts of proof until coming home. It turned out that Killian her centuries-old, cocky, charming pirate was a romantic through and through. Time and time again he surprised Emma with thoughtful dates and gifts and memories that she would cherish forever, as if he didn't realize that typical couples didn't live every day like that.

Candlelight dinners, walks under the stars, sunset on the beach, Emma had experienced all of those lovely outings within just the last week and it was starting to draw a little attention. Her mother, queen of the 'get Emma married' brigade, had even noticed, and now as the two of them sat in a booth at Granny's with Neal, Snow said something.

"Did I hear correctly that Killian is building a tree house in your backyard?" Emma felt herself blush a little bit.

"Um… yeah?" Emma bit back a grimace at the way she sounded so unsure.

"Something you want to tell me, Emma? You're not…. Are you?" Emma shook her head, knowing immediately where her mother's mind had gone.

Tree houses were for children, and since Henry was a little too old for such an addition to her and Killian's house, the logical thought was that they were planning for more right now. Emma and Killian had both discussed kids, and they were hoping to have more but only once they'd gotten married and Emma was sure that this peace was stable enough for them to add to their family.

"No I'm not pregnant. I just – I happened to mention to Killian that I always wanted a tree house when I was a kid and he got it into his head that we should have one. I told him I could use my magic, but he's a little stubborn." Emma watched her mother's features soften and she swore she heard a dreamy sigh. It took all of Emma's will power not to groan in that moment.

"I never would have guessed Killian would be so… romantically inclined." Now Emma had to smile.

"That makes two of us. I've told him a thousand times I don't need all of this, but-,"

"But men are men and they hear what they want. Trust me, I know. Your father is the same way. Want a little advice?"

Emma nodded even if she was slightly hesitant. Knowing her mother, this advice could really fall anywhere on the spectrum between great and absolutely terrible.

"Sometimes showing is better than telling. Killian just needs to _see_ that romance isn't all in the grand gestures." Emma considered that as she sipped her cocoa, and realized her mother was completely right. Emma's mind began formulating a plan to give Killian a little education in how couples in this world worked. A study in – well, doing nothing really.

She had to be careful, because she never wanted to hurt Killian or make him think that she didn't love every thoughtful thing he did for her. Emma was doing this for them, to give him a much needed chance to relax. Instead of planning all these amazing things in the hopes of making her happy, he could just be himself and he would get the same result. All Emma needed was Killian and the rest of it was just extra.

"That's actually kind of genius." Snow smirked at Emma's words and looked back down to Neal who she was holding.

"Hear that, Neal? Mommy actually got something right for once."

"I didn't mean it like that-," Her mother waved the words away. Snow was only teasing her and Emma smiled, liking that this was the state of her life. This felt easy and ordinary and they had all been deprived of that for too long.

They finished their meal and all the while Emma tallied up possibilities for the evening and ways to convince Killian to give her idea a try. She had to make him believe that this normalcy was enough, and as Emma finished her shift at the station, and made her way home, she further hashed out the plan until she had everything she needed. Emma made sure to leave work slightly early to hopefully get back before he would and waited for the moment when Killian was there.

She barely beat him, for not two minutes after she'd _poofed_ into the house he was walking through the door humming an unfamiliar tune under his breath. Emma couldn't help but smile at the clear happiness he carried with him. It made her feel good to see Killian this way after all the bad they'd faced. When his eyes met hers though, he looked surprised right before delight appeared.

"Emma, I didn't realize you'd be home already."

Emma looked at the bundle of groceries in Killian's arms and shook her head as she grinned. She was entirely sure that in those bags were the ingredients for some fully planned meal that would take her breath away as it took up so much of his time to make. Tonight, though, that wasn't what they were going to do. Instead Emma grabbed the bags from him and set them on the counter before turning around and walking into his arms.

"Do you trust me?" Killian's brow rose but he nodded.

"Aye, love." Emma smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"Good, because I kind of have a plan for the evening. It's called doing nothing."

"Nothing?" Killian asked doubtfully and Emma considered.

"Okay not nothing. We'll be doing things but… normal things. Every day, ordinary, no thinking required things."

"I take it that my making dinner does not fall into this nothingness."

"Nope. The theme of do nothing days is simple – follow the path that includes the least amount of work." Killian chuckled, his hand intertwining with Emma's as he smiled down at her.

"Alright then, love. I'll defer to your instincts."

Emma felt so relieved at his openness to this idea, and they went through the ritual. They started by ordering an insane amount of take out, which was then easily retrieved thanks to Emma's magic. Once that was squared away Emma moved them to the living room and set everything up before them on the table as she grabbed the remote.

"Ah, was this all an excuse to get me in front of the Netflix again, Swan?" Emma shook her head. They'd found themselves watching movies a lot when Henry was here, but even those nights got busy and it was never just Emma pitching in. Killian was always right beside her shouldering as much of the responsibility as he could too.

"It was a way to get you alone for the whole night and for you to see that we can be just as happy without all the effort." Killian glanced up from his food, looking incredibly sincere in the midst of their teasing.

"I'm always happy when I'm with you, Emma."

"Same here. But you got me a little hooked on the quiet moments and we haven't had _real_ quiet in a while." Killian laughed and Emma joined in, realizing the unintentional pun she'd used in the midst of her honest assessment.

"Alright then. Remind me what it is we've been working towards, Swan." His words wafted to her and then he pressed a kiss to her temple. Emma enjoyed the sensation for a moment and then picked a show for them to watch while they ate.

Emma would be lying if she said she paid much attention to the entertainment before them. As was usually the case whenever they ended up on the couch in front of the television, Emma got distracted by Killian's being so close and holding her like this. By the half way mark, Emma stopped pretending that she was even interested in the screen and looked over at Killian, who'd been driving her crazy with gentle touches since they sat down.

"You know what else you get to do on do nothing days?" Emma asked, her voice huskier than anticipated from her wanting him.

"I haven't a clue, love."

Emma pulled him to her for a kiss that hinted at all that they could do tonight with this big house to themselves and no plans. In mere seconds Killian was with her, and she could feel all the desire between them simmering to the surface like it always did when they came together.

"Now your name for these nights is rather deceiving, Emma, because _that_ was definitely something." Emma grinned at Killian's words.

"Does that mean you're not interested?" Her only response was a growl and Killian pulling her behind him up the stairs with her laughing all the way.

Needless to say, Emma's means of convincing were well received, and from that day on Killian agreed that there could be balance between great big gestures and quiet nights in. Luckily for both of them, all their evenings ended just the same – with the two of them together still just as in love and certain that they were walking towards happily ever after.

….

 _We're all looking for someone, that perfect girl_ _  
_ _Who can take our hand and help us see the world_ _  
_ _But I'm a little unusual, because you see_ _  
_ _I seek a different type of thrill for my romantic fantasy_ _  
_ _And I must say_ _  
_ _I'm looking your way_ _  
_ _And you seem to like me baby_ _  
_ _And you give me all the signs_ _  
_ _There's just one activity on my mind..._ __

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_ __

 _Do you wanna do something with me tonight?_ _  
_ _I'll put on my finest sweatpants and I'll order you pad thai_ _  
_ _We'd be livin' our dreams, as our love grows_ _  
_ _What an intimate occasion - you and me and HBO_ _  
_ _'til morning light, so wrong yet so right_ _  
_ _So say you want it darling_ _  
_ _'cause you know I want it too_ _  
_ _And there's just one thing that I wanna do..._ __

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_ __

 _So let's talk it through_ _  
_ _In case you're confused_ _  
_ _'Cause I know I can seem lazy_ _  
_ _From these things I like to do_ _  
_ _But they're only worth it when I'm with you (yeah it's true, so do you...)_ __

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _Do you wanna do nothing with me?_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a small addition to the mixtape today with some domestic CS fluffiness. I cannot believe how close we are getting to the show coming back and the dream is that I get some sort of scene where things are just relaxed. That will never happen (I mean truly the chances are slim to none), but I can pretend and return to this fic to imagine what calm nights for this couple would look like. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you all have a great rest of your day!**_


	106. I Was Made For Loving You

_**A/N: AU where Emma and Killian are coworkers who are forced by their law firm to attend a masquerade ball. Both have been too shy to make the first move, but with a little champagne, and masks, maybe this could work. Queue some dancing, some flirting, and just a lot of fluff. Inspired by 'I Was Made for Loving You' by Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran.**_

Walking into the hall that Mills & Hood had rented out for the firm's annual gala event for clients, Emma had to admit the event planners had done a spectacular job. These parties every year were held in order to lure potential clients while making existing ones happy and there was always some level of spectacle. It never came at the cost of elegance but each year there was a signature draw that made it more than an ordinary affair.

Emma's first year at the firm there'd been aerial artists who did flips and tricks as people mingled below. It made Emma's heart race and more than once that evening she'd feared one of the acrobats would plummet into terrible injury. She'd had just slightly too much to drink to cope, and she remembered feeling so embarrassed the next morning even though no one seemed to notice.

Then last year the event was themed with the 1920s in mind in a flashy display of pomp. There was a jazz band and a secret password to get in like an old speak easy. The clients had eaten that up and Emma ended up spending more time than she cared to admit just looking at the gratuitous wealth they flaunted. Women were wearing crystal encrusted dresses and dripping with diamonds. It was madness and again slightly terrifying. No one should ever willingly be carrying that much money with them but none of the high end clients batted an eye. Mills & Hood served the richest people in New York who would make more in one week than Emma would in ten years, easy.

Tonight Emma was thrilled to see everyone dressed in more normal fineries, and when she'd found out the theme this time she felt a bit of relief. A masquerade ball was a little more her speed, especially since it would give her a chance to blend in. The only place she didn't actively try to get lost in the crowd was in court.

Within the four walls of a judge's sentencing suite Emma let herself fight and fight hard. It was that tenacity and spirit coupled with her preparedness and calm manner outside the courtroom that pushed Emma as far in her career as she was. She was so close to making partner she could taste it and she did it with pretty limited ass kissing, which was something to be admired. Emma never groveled for attention or tried to charm clients to an insufferable degree. She preferred honesty and bluntness while still remaining civil, and people seemed to appreciate that.

"Damn, Emma, you should wear red every day!"

Speaking of blunt honesty - Emma turned to see her fellow associate and one of her only real friends from the firm, Ruby Lucas. Her friend was dressed in a flowing silver gown with a matching intricately detailed mask, but there was no hiding who she was. Ruby's personality was too vibrant to hide with a simple disguise.

Emma thought she'd done a better job of hiding herself in this ensemble. Ruby was right, it looked nothing like her usual work clothes, and with the delicate red gown she'd worn red pumps and a red lace mask. Her hair was pulled back but not in her usual bun, and yet still Ruby knew it was her. That was just Ruby though, hyper observant and always sensing things before anyone else did.

"You might be able to get away with your bold colors at work, but the last time I tried I got scolded by a judge."

Emma grimaced even thinking of that morning. Justice Gold was a big deal in the New York district but he never let anyone forget it. More than once the man had decided to give comment on things that had no bearings to her case presumably just to piss Emma off. Unfortunately she just had to let it slide. He had so much of the power, and the last thing Emma ever wanted was for her clients to suffer from her hurt pride.

"He is a buzz kill of the highest caliber. Probably why I lose so many of my cases in front of him." Emma laughed. 'So many' meant maybe four or five in the past few years they'd been working together, but for Ruby and for Emma that number was too high. They were both motivated to do well and stake out their worth at the firm.

"He's not here is he?" Ruby shot Emma a look that said she found her ridiculous.

"And risk rubbing shoulders with us? Mister High and Mighty would never." Emma laughed easily at Ruby's added dramatic flair but she was truly glad to hear Gold wouldn't be there. It meant a far more enjoyable evening for all.

With that happy thought in hand, Emma took a look around the room. She found herself recognizing a good number of people here despite the masks, but one person amongst the crowd stood out amongst the rest. In mere seconds the evening's tone had completely changed. One moment Emma was calm and relaxed and the next she was sprung so tight with anticipation that the room seemed to spin.

The man who caused this flurry of emotion was one Killian Jones, the newest associate at Mills & Hood and an export from London who'd relocated here at the request of one of the name partners. He was talented and brilliant sure, but Killian was also the most attractive man Emma had ever seen. With dark hair and eyes so blue Emma felt like she could fall right into them, Killian was temptation itself. Emma always prided herself on having great will power but Killian constantly tested that strength.

Since the first day she'd met him, Emma knew that Killian was trouble, at least for her. Her body practically hummed in approval any time he was around and the thoughts he provoked were anything but professional. Emma was never one for daydreaming but since Killian showed up that changed. She found herself falling into fantasy just from looking at him and she saw him a lot thanks to the proximity of their offices.

As an attempted defense Emma often found herself avoiding him, ducking into hallways or slipping into the copy room before he saw her so she could evade a conversation. Seeing him was one thing, but as soon as he started talking Emma found it incredibly hard to walk away. Killian had a way about him that made Emma want to stay when few people ever did but she couldn't afford the distraction.

Now though, on a night when she didn't have to work and she was shielded by this mask, she let herself take him in. Whatever she thought of him in those business suits of his, she was even more taken in by this tuxedo. The problem was she couldn't look at him in it without wondering how good he would look out of it.

"Damn that new guy is fine, and he's standing by Graham Huntsman. You know how I feel about that man. This is like ovary overload."

Emma's eyes flashed for only a second to Graham who was standing next to Killian. They were in the middle of some sort of conversation, maybe about Graham's business with the firm. Graham was a real estate whiz, making money off of rich people buying more places they didn't need, but underneath the charm Emma knew that Graham was a good guy. There was nothing seedy about him like so many of the other people the firm sometimes rubbed elbows with.

"So… are you going to make your move tonight?" Ruby's words pulled Emma's eyes back to her friend who was grinning wickedly.

"I am definitely _not_ making a move. We work together." Ruby scoffed.

"So? There are no rules about fraternizing, and for good reason. The name partners are married and their 'lunch meetings' are the worst kept secret in Manhattan."

"Ruby, shhh!" Emma looked around to make sure no one had overheard her friend. She might be right, but there was no reason to call out their bosses' love life so openly when surrounded by people who might hear.

"Oh come on, Ems. You want yourself a piece of that man. Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at him." Emma grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and downed a good amount of it at Ruby's words.

This was just perfect. Killian had been here two months and Emma thought she was doing a good job of hiding how much he affected her. She never openly gawked or started drooling and that in itself felt like a feat of brilliant covertness. Clearly that wasn't the case.

"There's nothing there, Ruby." Ruby pounced on Emma's false claim.

"Liar!" When Emma started shushing her again, Ruby brought her voice down once more. "The only reason all that chemistry hasn't combusted is because you sprint away anytime you can. Deny it all you want, but I know you Emma."

"Okay so there's something, but I'm pretty sure it's one sided." That was the most mortifying part of this. Killian was so easy to be around and he made Emma feel safe to really be herself in the moments they had shared together, but he was also really personable. Emma struggled to see if he really liked her or if he was just being kind.

"You don't actually believe that." Emma shrugged.

"Kind of. He treats me exactly the way he treats everyone else. Nice, but with that bit of cocky charm. He's flirty with everyone."

"Actually he's not. Killian is _friendly_ to everyone. The lingering glances and the gravely tone are all you babe." Emma felt a zing of something a lot like hope moving through her at Ruby's words.

"It could be a really bad idea." Even as she said the words, Emma doubted they were true.

"Or the best damn idea anyone's ever had."

Emma looked back over to Killian as Ruby said the words and found that he was looking her way, his blue eyes set firmly on her and in that moment her whole body came alive. There was no denying that look's intensity and she felt it like a sear against her skin that she never wanted to end. He didn't look at her that way in the office. Did he?

"Girl he wants you! Go over there and ask him to dance." Ruby's enthusiasm cut into the moment and Emma shook her head finishing the rest of her champagne.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I have two left feet and absolutely no idea how to do that." Emma nodded towards the dance floor where a few couples were congregated. The music wasn't anything Emma was used to and the last thing she wanted to do was put herself out there just to be terrible at this.

"So then ask him _not_ to dance. That coat closet at the entrance looked cozy." Emma was about to reply that Ruby was a little too fixated on Emma hooking up with Killian when Ruby grabbed Emma's wrist firmly in her hand.

"Looks like you won't have to ask him after all." Emma didn't know what that meant. Was Killian asking someone else to dance? Or maybe he was leaving.

Emma turned around only to find that he was walking her way, his eyes still trained on her and as he moved through the throngs of people, Emma felt frozen in place. She simultaneously wanted to walk towards him and run away, so she compromised by not moving a single inch.

When Killian was in front of her Emma felt the air between them crackling in the same way it always did when they stood this close. It was dizzying, with more potency than the champagne she'd just had. That Killian-induced haze only thickened when he spoke to her with his lilting accent clutching to every word.

"Perhaps it's a bit forward of me, love, but I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't ask for a dance." Emma's mind worked to try and understand what he meant and was saying as Ruby chuckled next to her.

"And you're going right for it. No greeting no nothing – my kind of man. I'm gonna go do the same thing with _him_ and see if I get the same result." Emma worked out that _him_ was probably Graham Huntsman, but her eyes stayed on Killian instead of following Ruby.

"I don't know." Killian smirked at her words and the way his lips hiked up slightly more to one side made him infuriatingly more attractive. "What I meant is that I don't know how to dance."

"Ah, well there's only one rule, pick a partner who knows what he's doing."

Emma had no doubt that Killian knew _exactly_ what he was doing. He moved with a fluidity that she thought about all day long, and the intimacy of the dancing out there on the floor was something she knew he'd excel at. Emma just didn't know if she could ever match it.

"Trust me." That was all Killian had to say. Two words that spoke so much louder and asked so much more than so many others in Emma's life, but she placed her hand in his all the same. At the end of the day she did trust him or at least wanted him enough to try and do so.

When they were finally on the floor and the current between them stretched more than just their hands touching, Emma felt the room fade away. Standing here with the music swelling around them as Killian took her in his arms Emma felt the most startling sense of rightness. She didn't have a chance to be worried about the dancing when she was so wrapped up in Killian. Closeness like this was surprisingly comfortable even as she craved so much more. Months of wondering what it would be like for him to hold her had been so far off. Nothing could compare to this reality.

The only thing Emma regretted was the little form of secrecy between them. Her fingers itched to take the mask off of his face so she could really see him and then for a moment she had a blip of uncertainty. What if he didn't know it was her? What if Ruby was wrong and he'd be disappointed to find out that it was Emma Swan he was sharing a dance with?

"Something on your mind, Emma?" The tickle of his words against her cheek sparked more longing in Emma even as he answered her question.

"I was wondering if you knew it was me or not." Killian grinned, his hand moving slightly over the curve of her hip and Emma tried very hard not to arch closer to him.

"Aye love, I knew it was you from the moment I saw you cutting quite the figure in this dress." Emma blushed at the compliment even as she tried for a witty reply herself.

"You don't clean up so badly yourself, Killian."

"So you know who I am and I know who you are. Any regrets?" His question might have held traces of a playful tone, but Emma could sense that he really wanted to know. She shook her head.

"Not a one."

"I wish I could say the same. Since you stepped into my arms I've been thinking what a bloody fool I am for not asking you out sooner."

"You wanted to ask me out?" Emma didn't bother to hide her surprise as she asked her question and Killian nodded.

"Aye, love. More times than I can count."

"Why didn't you?" Emma heard the breathiness in her voice. She was overwhelmed by this man and his confession and she was so desperate to hear his answer.

"I've not had the best go with affairs of the heart in the past." Emma could empathize with that completely.

"Me either." She gave him a small smile and he did the same.

"But it's more than that, love. You're rather intimidating you know. All that beauty and a brain to match, leaves a man wondering if he can ever be worthy."

Emma ran her hand over Killian's chest, reveling in the harsh pounding of his heartbeat. The evidence was starting to come together that she'd been mistaken. Perhaps Killian was just as interested as she was.

"So what changed your mind?" 

"I can't seem to stay away. I know you're entirely too good for me and that you might never feel the same, but I have no power to resist you. You make everything new, Emma." Emma felt the weight of his praise and the genuineness of his meaning.

"So let's stop resisting." Emma said the words with every intention of pulling him down so she could kiss him when she realized where they were. Instead she stepped out of his arms and took his hand.

The two of them moved through the crowd together, neither of them caring if anyone was looking their way until they were back at the entrance and Emma decided that Ruby made a good point earlier. That coat closet did look pretty damn enticing.

"Emma, love, where are we going?" Emma smiled over her shoulder and repeated his earlier words back to him.

"Trust me."

Emma pulled him into the coat check with him and when their lips crashed together in a long overdue first kiss there was instant fireworks and a sharp crackle of the tension that had been between them for so long. There was nothing gentle or slow about this kiss. It was thorough and wanting and ridiculously hot.

As Emma arched for closeness, Killian pulled her firmer against him so she could feel every bit of hard muscle against her. The material of her dress was relatively thin and everywhere his hand moved she felt him. He was warm and strong and kissing her in this all-consuming way. It was so damn perfect and then Killian pulled back when it was the last thing Emma wanted.

"Something wrong?" Killian's only reply was to reach for her mask and remove it quickly. Emma smiled as she did the same with his, glad to have all of Killian with her right now.

"No. Everything's perfect."

One kiss turned to another and more after that until Emma had no idea how long they'd been in the coatroom at all. In between the kisses Killian had all these incredible words about wanting her and Emma found herself admitting how badly she needed him too. Everything seemed possible now, like somehow she'd walked into the light with Killian from a pretty gray life she had before.

All of that happy feeling and pure joy clouded Emma's judgment slightly. She should have been thinking about someone happening upon them, but that didn't occur to her until she heard a loud exclamation.

"Aha! I knew it! You owe me ten bucks." Emma pulled back from Killian to see that the source of all the noise was Ruby who was currently sticking her hand out to a surprised but smitten Graham.

"Would you take an IOU?" Ruby stood there considering Graham's proposal as Emma gawked at her.

"Ruby seriously?" Ruby looked back to Emma with a shit-eating grin on her face.

"People are starting to notice your absence. I was just trying to help."

"Or trying to get this corner to yourself."

Killian's words made Emma smile and Ruby shrug in a silent display of 'innocent until proven guilty.' Graham meanwhile looked delighted at that having been Ruby's idea but Killian took Emma's hand and it kissed it lightly. The subtle gesture brought her full attention back to him.

"Dance with me again, Swan?" The question was straight forward, but Emma knew that saying yes was agreeing to more than just a dance. It was saying she was in this, whatever this might be.

"I'd love to."

Emma followed Killian's lead back to the party and onto the dance floor once more and in the end they danced the night away. After that there was dating of course, and stolen moments in the office, but more than that there was love, the kind of love that only came about once in a lifetime. And all it took was a little courage and a bit of mystery to get there to a beautiful life that they both truly deserved.

….

 _A dangerous plan, just this time  
A stranger's hand clutched in mine  
I'll take this chance, so call me blind  
I've been waiting all my life  
Please don't scar this young heart  
Just take my hand_

 _I was made for loving you  
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through  
Every bone screaming (I don't know what we should do)  
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you_

 _Hold me close through the night  
Don't let me go, we'll be alright  
Touch my soul and hold it tight  
I've been waiting all my life  
I won't scar your young heart  
Just take my hand_

 _'Cause I was made for loving you  
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through  
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do  
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you_

 _Please don't go, I've been waiting so long  
Oh, you don't even know me at all  
But I was made for loving you_

 _I was made for loving you  
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through  
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do  
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you_

 _ **Post-Note: I couldn't tell you all exactly why this song makes me think of masquerade balls, but it has since the first moment I considered it for the mixtape. This has been in the queue for so long, but today I had a little bit of inspiration and this is the result. I hope you all enjoyed and thanks so much for reading!  
**_


	107. Who Do You Think Of?

_**A/N: Short AU prompted by a reader who wanted Emma and Killian as friends who reach the moment that they both admit they like each other. Inspired by the acoustic version of 'Who Do You Think Of' by M.O. and my own ridiculous love for sappy romance movies.**_

Few things in life could ever bring the same sort of comfort as an evening with best friends. After a long week or a trying time in life, even in the midst of her best moments, Emma always loved coming back to these core people. She liked that she never had to go it alone and that at the end of the day she always had someone to fall back on or call when she just needed a breather away from the world.

Tonight was one of those times that Emma needed an escape. She'd known from the moment she woke up this morning that today was going to be one of those days, and after sending out a text promising wine, food, and entertainment she got three eager invitation acceptances. Knowing that she had this coming got her through her work at the station and now she was home again hoping that her friends could help bolster her mood.

Truth was Emma was currently in a funk. It felt like she was stuck but she couldn't figure how. Her job at the precinct was going great and she was on the fast track to promotion, her friends were all doing well and things were by all accounts stable which she needed after her rocky childhood. So it struck Emma as odd that she felt like something was just…missing.

She attempted to distract herself from that feeling of slight emptiness by helping Ruby get the last of everything ready for the night in front of them. They were binging movies as well as carbs and booze and Emma was all too anxious for it. Essentially this was a cleansing sort of cure-all for whatever was bothering Emma. She just had to get her ass parked in front of the television with a glass of wine in hand and she'd get back to normal again.

"Three bottles, you think that's enough?"

Emma looked at the kitchen counter in her apartment and shrugged. It was a good amount of wine, especially considering the fact that there were only four of them coming to girls night tonight, but given the evening's activities one never knew.

"How much more do you think we'd need?" Ruby looked into the living room seeing their friends Mary Margaret and Elsa sitting expectantly on the couch.

"Normally, I'd say this is good. But we both know how they get with sappy movies like this." Emma nodded and decided to grab one more bottle just to be safe. She and Ruby made their way into the living room then and took their spots as Mary Margaret waved two movies in the air.

"Okay, do we want 'Return to Me' or 'Thinking of You'? 'Return to Me' is a certifiable classic, but 'Thinking of You' looks great and has that hot British guy in it."

 _Not as hot as Killian._ The thought popped into Emma's mind and she had to shake it away even as a sinking feeling came into her gut.

This was her problem. She had feelings for a man who she was firmly entrenched in friendship with. They'd met two years ago when he moved to town, and though they'd bonded right away, her walls were so far up in the beginning that she'd pushed this to just friendship. Then by the time she was ready to admit that she cared about him as more than a friend, it was too late.

It was a serious issue and something Emma had been trying to get over for too long now, but nothing seemed to work. Not going on dates with other people, or reminding herself that he'd never expressed any interest. Instead she was that pathetic girl pining over someone who didn't want her that way.

"Emma?" Emma's eyes flew back up to her friends who were all looking at her expectantly.

"Um, yeah." The other's grinned and Emma exhaled a sigh of relief that it had been a yes or no question she'd missed.

"Hot British guy it is." Emma nearly groaned aloud, but sat there as calmly as she could when Mary Margaret put the DVD in.

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Emma began to realize what an excruciating mistake this was about to be. The man in the movie might not hold a candle to Killian, but his voice washed over words in almost the same way. Their accents were so similar and the way he looked at the movie's heroine made Emma's chest ache. That's what she wanted with Killian. She finished off the rest of her glass of wine and wondered how the hell she was going to get through the remaining hour plus of this film.

In the midst of trying to figure out what she was going to do, whether it was drinking a little more wine than she originally planned, diving into the chocolate in front of Mary Margaret, or letting herself cave to the extraordinary sappiness of the flick before them, Emma felt her phone ding from where she had it in her pocket. Thank God, a distraction! Emma could use that right about now.

 _K: You've brought your magic here for good, love._

Emma looked at the text from Killian and opened the attached photo finding it was the new menu from Granny's. It was zoomed in on the part that included the drinks, one of which read 'Swan's Cinnamon Cocoa.'

Truth was she'd been having her cocoa like that for years; made with whole milk, topped with whipped cream, and generously sprinkled with cinnamon. The only reason it had made the menu was because Killian mentioned it to Granny any chance he got. He always said something so brilliant deserved to be acknowledged, and every time he said that Emma smiled. It made her feel important, like her slightly strange way of taking cocoa was so positive.

"Tell me, who do you think of, Emma?"

Emma's eyes flashed back up to the movie screen and she watched as the heroine of the movie, whose name was most definitely not Emma, was asked this by her grandmother. The heroine looked confused and Emma was too. Her brain was tripping out badly enough that she thought he movie was talking to her.

"When you picture the life you want, who is holding your hand? Who walks beside you, fighting the battles, celebrating the victories? Is it him?" The old woman was so imploring, seeking complete honesty even if it wasn't from Emma, and Emma felt her heart thump loudly as she admitted the truth to herself.

"Yes." Emma whispered the word aloud as the heroine said it and Ruby looked over at Emma as if she'd heard.

Suddenly her apartment felt too small, claustrophobic and too tiny to breathe in and Emma hopped out of the chair in a rush. She needed to get out of here and grab some fresh air even if just for a minute.

"Emma?" She gave the first bad excuse she could think of.

"I'll be right back. I think I left something in my car." The lie was terrible and she knew it as she said it, but then her feet were moving and Emma was out of the room and heading down the stairs out into a mild Maine night.

Without a clear sense of direction, Emma headed off down the street hoping she would find some inspiration on something that would make this better. So far the air wasn't working and neither was the space away from the movie, but the moving was helping. It felt like she could run away from the issue if she just kept in motion and Emma made it all the way through the center of town before she met any sort of resistance in her retreat.

"Swan?"

Emma would know that voice anywhere, Killian was the one calling to her from across the way, but she didn't stop. Emma couldn't trust herself not to do something ridiculous like cry (which she never ever did) and in front of Killian of all people it would be even more mortifying. She kept moving down the street, unsure of what she was even heading towards until she felt his hand come to grab her wrist.

"Emma, love, what's happened? Are you alright?" Every single time he said that word it threw her for a loop. The simple endearment was so casually used with him, but it was always a reminder of how she felt about Killian. In this moment it was just too much.

"Killian, please just let me go." Her voice cracked with the emotion, and Emma hated that it did. She felt too exposed and she'd barely said anything.

Immediately he dropped her wrist and Emma missed the subtle warmth it had provided. More than that though it made her want him more. He always respected her limits and her boundaries. He never pushed, just waited patiently as if he had all the time in the world for her to be comfortable with him.

"Whatever's wrong we can fix it, Emma."

Emma closed her eyes when he said _we_ but shook her head. He didn't know what he was walking into.

Killian couldn't know that every time he was this close she was enveloped by his presence. Her hands were shaking, her pulse hammering away, as her heart sang out that she wanted him. It was a tug of attraction like none she'd ever known and loving all the little things she knew about him. It made everything feel like so much more, but she had to control this reaction. If she didn't she could ruin the good that they did have.

When she felt his hand came to cup her cheek though, Emma's eyes flew back open, looking at him curiously and the gaze she saw then took her breath away. Killian was looking at her like the man in that movie tonight, and something an awful lot like hope stirred in her heart.

"I'm in love with you."

Oh God she'd said it! Out loud! She'd just admitted to Killian that she was in love with him. But as soon as the panic came, it deteriorated when he smiled at her. This smile was so joyous and just as hopeful as she felt at the thought that he might love her too.

"You love me?" Emma nodded. "Thank God."

The next thing Emma knew Killian stepped towards her pulling her into his arms and kissed her. All of the space between them was gone and finally, after years of wondering what his lips on hers would feel like Emma knew. This was so much better than all that late night wondering though, because it was real and warm and completely consuming. Killian kissed her like this was their movie, or fairytale, or something equally magical and enticing. It was the single best kiss she'd ever gotten, and when he pulled back Emma knew she'd never have enough of them.

"I have loved you since the moment we met, Emma. I just never dreamed you might feel the same." Emma laughed quietly at that, feeling lighter than air at his words.

"You've been telling me for years that I'm an open book and you didn't have _any_ suspicions?"

Killian scratched behind his ear a bit, in a move that she knew meant he was a little embarrassed. It made Emma want to pull him down by the collar of his jacket but she wanted to hear his response more. Kissing could wait, because he loved her, just like she loved him. God that was a fantastic feeling, to know she wasn't in this alone. She had him. They had each other.

"At times I wondered, but what if I'd been wrong and I ruined everything? I can't lose you, love. You mean too much to me." Emma ran her hand across his chest, feeling that pounding beats of his heart that told of his struggle.

"I feel the same way."

"I don't know exactly what you want Emma, but I think you should know that if it were up to me, this – I mean we – would be everything. I'm in this for the long haul, love. At least I want to be, if you'll have me." Emma grinned at how flustered he sounded.

"I will."

Now Emma allowed herself to do what she wanted, pulling him back to her again so she could get another taste of Killian. It was just as heady as the first, raw, and real, and tantalizing, and she never wanted it to end. She wanted to take her time with this and she had all night to do so… oh wait. No she definitely didn't.

Much as it pained her to do it, Emma moved back just when things were starting to get really good, and Killian's brow furrowed. He searched her face with those piercing blue eyes of his as if he could see down into her soul.

"Are we moving too fast, Swan?" Emma shook her head.

"No, definitely not. It's just that I kind of left Ruby, Mary Margaret, and Elsa back at the house. They're probably wondering where I am right now." Killian chuckled at that, his hand running over her back in a soothing motion as she remained in his arms.

"Ah, so _now_ you remember!"

Emma and Killian both turned to see that Emma's three friends were looking on across the way. Ruby was the one who'd spoken and she feigned offense until breaking into a grin at the sight of them together.

"Sorry?" Except Emma wasn't sorry at all. She was so far from sorry for coming out here and stumbling upon her chance to be honest with Killian.

"Don't be," Mary Margaret said tearfully. "That was so much better than the movie."

"Hear that, Swan? Better than a movie."

Emma rolled her eyes but kissed him on the cheek one more time. She was secretly glad he was going to be as cheesy and ridiculous as he was before. It comforted her that this new step between them wouldn't be so different after all. But the little bit of a blush that came when she kissed him made the butterflies in her stomach fly about faster than before.

"Come over later?" His eyes softened at her request.

"As you wish, love." With that, Killian brought her hand up to his lips to kiss before nodding at her friends and heading off with the four of them looking after him.

"Damn he's pretty close to perfect," Elsa said as he walked away.

"So is his ass." Emma swatted at Ruby's arm. "What? Am I lying?" Both Mary Margaret and Elsa replied that she wasn't.

"Can we at least get back to my apartment before you start all this?"

Her friends agreed, and the group of them headed back, but as promised Emma was swarmed again with all their musings and their theories the second they walked back through her door. It was worth it though, because at the end of the night when they all went home and Killian returned, Emma found that spark and that hope hadn't waivered, and it never ever did.

….

 _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ _  
_ _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ __

 _Every time you want it, you calling off my phone_ _  
_ _But I don't even answer, need some time alone_ _  
_ _No matter what happens, I never go too far_ _  
_ _I always come right back, always come to where you are_ __

 _Cause every time I leave_ _  
_ _Every time, every time I leave yeah_ _  
_ _It's like you know I'll be_ _  
_ _It's like you know, it's like you know I'll be there_ _  
_ _Cause every time I leave_ _  
_ _Every time, every time I leave yeah_ _  
_ _It's like you know I'll be_ _  
_ _It's like you know, it's like you know I'll be there_ __

 _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ _  
_ _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ _  
_ _Lonely, lonely, lonely_ _  
_ _Lonely, lonely, lonely_ _  
_ _So tell me, who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _When you're lonely_ _  
_ _So tell me, who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _When you're lonely_ __

 _Only we know about the games that we both play_ _  
_ _And the things that you do to make me stay_ _  
_ _Maybe we only fight cause we like to make it right yeah_ _  
_ _So next time we're arguing, I'm coming right back tonight_ __

 _Cause every time I leave_ _  
_ _Every time, every time I leave yeah_ _  
_ _It's like you know I'll be_ _  
_ _It's like you know, it's like you know I'll be there_ _  
_ _Cause every time I leave_ _  
_ _Every time, every time I leave yeah_ _  
_ _It's like you know I'll be_ _  
_ _It's like you know, it's like you know I'll be there_ __

 _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ _  
_ _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ _  
_ _Lonely, lonely, lonely_ _  
_ _Lonely, lonely, lonely_ _  
_ _So tell me, who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _When you're lonely_ _  
_ _So tell me, who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _When you're lonely_ __

 _Cause when you call I'm there_ _  
_ _You know I'll always be on my way_ _  
_ _On time, yeah_ _  
_ _I always know when you're lonely_ _  
_ _Cause when you call I'm there_ _  
_ _You know I'll always be on my way_ _  
_ _On time, yeah_ __

 _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ _  
_ _Who do you think of when you're lonely?_ _  
_ _Lonely, lonely, lonely_ _  
_ _Lonely, lonely, lonely_ _  
_ _So tell me, who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _When you're lonely_ _  
_ _So tell me, who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _Who do you, who do you think of?_ _  
_ _When you're lonely_ _  
_

 _ **Post-Note: There's just something about writing Emma and Killian admitting their feelings for each other that is always so fun. I would guess it was the tortuously slow build of this couple in cannon, but whatever the reason, it's always a joy to figure out new ways I can have that intense moment between CS. Thanks to my lovely reader for the prompt (and for all of you who have sent them in). Keep them coming, and thank you all for reading!**_


	108. How We Got Here

_**A/N: Future CS fic where Emma and Killian's eldest daughter is getting married. The night before their daughter (Hope) begins to panic. In the face of fear she knows one person she can always count on for guidance, her mother. Hope asks Emma to tell her how she and Killian have made love work. Emma gives her an honest answer and that answer gave me feels. Inspired by 'Blood and Tears' by Joseph. By the way this song and this band is out of this world. Highly recommend.**_

"I simply can't believe she's getting married."

Emma hid her smile by taking a sip of her cocoa as she took in Killian's words. It was hardly the first time she'd heard the thought uttered aloud, hell it wasn't even the first time she'd heard it tonight. Her husband was a little fixated on tomorrow's festivities and he had been for a while now. Emma swore she could hear him stressing away about it all through the movie they'd just watched here on the couch but she hadn't said anything, knowing it would work itself out eventually.

The 'she' Killian was fretting over was their daughter, Hope, and it didn't matter to him that Hope was twenty-three, in love with a good man, or capable of making her own choices. To Killian, she was always going to be his little girl, with big, brown, ringlet curls and laughing green eyes. Hope was still his little lieutenant, his constant helper, his pride and joy and no one could tell him differently

"Two down, two to go." Killian looked affronted at Emma's joke, as if she was rooting to get all the kids married off and truly out on their own. "Jeez, tough crowd."

"You think I'm being ridiculous?" Emma shook her head, leaning against him more and feeling his fingers interlace with hers as easily as they always did.

"I think you're acting like any father does. Besides, you were like this with Henry too."

Killian nodded and now Emma's smile came to full brightness. He likely didn't realize how funny he'd been a few years back when Henry got married, but it was more than amusing. He was simultaneously so proud of Henry and scared to death he'd lost his eldest son. As if Henry hadn't moved in one street over, and wasn't here and available every single day with his own family in tow. It would be the same with Hope. She wasn't going anywhere, simply starting a new chapter of her own story.

"I just don't know where all the time went, love. It's like I blinked and we were here."

Emma knew what he meant. They truly had a good thing going, a happy life, safer than either of them ever expected, that made for well-adjusted kids and a semblance of normalcy. Sure their three youngest children had magic as most true-love babies did, technically Emma was still a savior, and oh right, her husband was an actual pirate, but it was their own version of a happy ending in every way.

For Emma that feeling of it all going by too quickly often hit her even harder than it did Killian. It took years for Emma to start setting long-term goals because for so long she'd been all about survival. That was a hard habit to break, to go from taking it one day at a time to letting herself dream of what life might look like if she had any luck at all. But slowly her hesitation faded.

Her belief that things could happen and that dreams could come true strengthened because of Killian, her parents, Henry, and the three other kids Emma and Killian had. Hope, Leia, and Liam were their crowning achievements, the last parts of the puzzle that told Emma she could dare to dream because she and her family deserved it.

It was those dreams that made it so Emma wasn't worried tonight. She knew enough about Hope and her soon-to-be husband Flynn to know that this was right. Hope and Flynn shared the kind of love Emma dreamed of for her daughter, and she couldn't wait to be there for every part of the big day. Emma simply had to wait for Killian to see it that way and he would. Where Emma led he always followed after all.

"But here is pretty good, isn't it?" Killian chuckled, pressing a kiss to Emma's temple.

"Aye, love it is."

Before Emma could respond, a knock sounded at the door prompting both Emma and Killian to look up from their spot on the couch. Ten o'clock was late for someone to be visiting, especially since everyone knew that tomorrow was the wedding.

"You expecting someone, love?" Emma shook her head as Killian got up and moved to the door. When he opened it Emma saw Hope waiting on the porch steps. Her arms were wrapped around her body in a defensive position Emma knew all too well.

"Hope?" Their daughter's eyes flicked to Killian and she gave a small smile.

"Hi Dad." She didn't move to come inside and so Emma stood and moved towards the door.

"I think I've got it from here." Killian nodded, squeezing Emma's hand quickly as he headed back inside and Emma closed the door behind her.

"Tree house?" Hope nodded and Emma moved down the steps in time with her daughter. It didn't matter that Emma was in PJs or that Hope was twenty-three. All Emma could think was that she wanted to be there for her and to help Hope work whatever worries she had out.

The tree house had always been a special place for her kids, a place they played, where they laughed, and where they'd cried. It was a retreat that Emma knew they all came back to, and where she'd come more than once in her time as a Mom to make sure they were okay or call them in for dinner. Right now though it was a safe space where Hope could explain to Emma what was going on, but when they got inside, her daughter remained quiet an unusual setting for any of their kids.

"So… you wanna talk about it, or is this more a quiet contemplation thing?" Hope let out a shaky laugh.

"I love Flynn." Emma bit back a smile, realizing from Hope's words exactly where this was headed.

"Yeah honey I kind of picked up on that."

"No Mom. I _love_ him. Crazy big, scare you shitless, true love love." Emma appreciated the description and still she knew exactly what her daughter meant.

"Right." Hope looked so defeated in that moment and Emma's heart went out to her, but this was something Hope needed to work through. Emma couldn't coach her to accepting her feelings. That had to come naturally.

"What if I mess this up? What if I push him away? What if love isn't enough?" Emma pulled Hope into her arms and silently thanked the universe that her daughter came willingly. She might not be so little anymore, but Hope would always be her kid and Emma's shoulder would always be one for her to lean on.

"There are certain things I really wish you'd gotten from your father, and the willingness to believe is one of them. But I'm afraid you got this panic and shut down mentality from me." Hope barked out another anxious laugh.

"Great. So how do I make it stop?"

Emma thought about how that instinct to run had faded for her. It took a lot of patience and perseverance, especially on Killian's part. They went slow even though her feelings developed quicker than she could imagine. She loved him so fast and held on to denial so long until he just wouldn't let her anymore. He helped her save Henry. He gave up his ship for her. He traveled through time and space to help her, protected her, fought for her, loved her even when she wasn't ready, and he never, ever let go. Killian waited out the storms and made it look easy all the while.

"You trust yourself and the man you love. You really look into your heart and see what you want. You admit what the future you desire looks like and then you kick the fear to the curb and you go for it."

"You make it sound so easy." Now it was Emma's turn to laugh.

"It's the single hardest thing I've ever done in my life, Hope. I'd have taken a dragon any day over letting myself be vulnerable and giving love a chance."

"So why did you?" Emma smiled.

"Because your father was the one. He was the only person who showed me I could be me, that I could be exactly the person who I was and still be enough. He didn't try to change me. All he wanted was to stand with me, and finally I got tired of pretending that I didn't want that too." Hope was quiet for another moment, letting all that sink in and probably realizing that Flynn did all of that for her.

"Grandpa says Dad was like a lovesick puppy." Emma chuckled again.

"Grandpa might be as in love with your father as I am." Hope laughed and this time it felt sincere and genuine. That was good, because nothing healed more than feeling happy.

"Flynn is the one." Hope said the words with such conviction. It was an inescapable truth, but Emma heard a 'but' coming.

"But your feet are still cold." Hope nodded.

"I just want proof that it will all be okay. I want a guarantee like you and Dad had." Emma shook her head. Clearly her daughter hadn't been as studious with the storybook as her older brother Henry was.

"What part of our story struck you as particularly cushy?" Emma was genuinely curious how Hope could think that it hadn't been blood and tears and sheer force of will that got Emma and Killian to their happily ever after.

"You were the lost girl turned savior. He was a swashbuckling pirate. Love found a way anyway. Through death and darkness and all sorts of other stuff, love always won." Emma chuckled at Hope's characterization.

"That's a simplistic way of putting it." Hope rolled her eyes and Emma knew it was coming from a place of nerves.

Her daughter was just like Emma in so many ways, headstrong, wary of anything that could be a threat, and a little guarded despite Emma and Killian's best efforts. But Flynn had helped to mostly ease that. When Hope met him Emma got the chance to watch her daughter blossom into the last part of who she was supposed to be. Without the fear and the holding back, Hope was even more miraculous than Emma knew before.

Even Killian (who took protective Dad tendencies to a whole new level), had to admit that this was different. Hope hadn't stumbled on a young couple's infatuation, but something more powerful and more worth protecting. Love always came with risks, risks of losing people and not having enough time, but Emma hated to think Hope would second-guess at every turn and not give herself the chance to just be happy.

"Look honey, there's no secret. No magical solution to handling bad times. The best way I can explain it is to say that when it's right, when love is true, it builds you up even if you've been broken down. And you're going to mess up, so is Flynn, but at the end of the day you'll know that you have the love to fall back on. If you choose love, if you fight for what you want and the person you want it with, you can't lose."

"And you say Dad's the believer." Emma laughed.

"That's kind of the thing about love, honey. It makes us all believers."

When Hope pulled back to look at Emma, there was no denying that her daughter had found some sort of comfort and peace. She looked much better, and Emma could tell the bravery her daughter had was rising. Emma was so proud of her for choosing strength over fear. She'd learned the power of that choice far earlier than Emma did.

"Can you just tell Dad that Flynn didn't do anything? I don't want him getting crazy protective again…"

Emma smiled and assured Hope that she would and the two of them stood back up climbing down from the tree house. Emma kept her arm around Hope as they walked across the lawn, happy to have even these last few moments of connection before they made their way back to the porch. As Emma expected, Killian was waiting right there, the lookout on the steps who wouldn't rest until he knew they were both okay.

"Goodnight, Dad." Hope hugged Killian and Emma could see her husband's surprise at her changed demeanor.

"Goodnight, darling." Hope gave one more hug to Emma before waving goodbye and heading out. As she left, Emma instinctively moved into Killian's arms both to comfort him and herself.

"Everything alright then, Swan?" Emma nodded, leaning her head against her husband's shoulder as they watched their daughter head down the lane and back to her own future.

"We did a good job shielding her. She thinks we had it easy finding our way to each other." Killian's sound of disbelief made Emma laugh and she turned up to kiss him lightly. "I didn't have the heart to set her straight."

"So what _did_ you say?"

"I said that I love you now and always and that love has always been enough." Killian smiled, the light in his blue eyes sparkling as he did.

"It's been more than enough, Swan. It's been everything." Emma sighed at the charming words, knowing Killian meant them and that he was right. They were very lucky to have this love and this life together.

The two of them stayed there just a moment longer, taking in the moment before it disappeared. Emma and Killian stood under the stars on a clear, mild night, both grateful for what they had and what they future still had in store for them and their family, until finally they headed back inside hand in hand just like they were meant to.

…

Could we ever leave each other?  
Maybe the valley's wider  
Maybe it's longer than we thought  
Even though we just got started  
I know there's a hundred mountains  
It'll take more than we've got

I will stay, I will stay  
I will stay until the end of the line  
Will you carry, will you carry  
Would you carry these troubles of mine?

Don't cover our tracks  
(cover, don't cover)  
We'll say it wasn't easy  
No, it was never easy  
And when we look back  
(look back, we look back)  
We'll wonder how we got here,  
Tell 'em how we got here

It was blood and tears  
Blood and tears (x2)  
It's how we got here

I know that we got odds against us  
We're probably gonna get real tired  
Oh, we may have to choose  
We're gonna have to learn what hard is  
If it'll be a fight regardless  
I only want the fight to be with you

I will stay, I will stay  
I will stay until the end of the line  
Will you carry, will you carry  
Would you carry these troubles of mine?

Don't cover our tracks  
(cover, don't cover)  
We'll say it wasn't easy  
No, it was never easy  
And when we look back  
(look back, we look back)  
We'll wonder how we got here,  
Tell 'em how we got here

It was blood and tears  
Blood and tears (x2)  
We forged every river of  
Blood and tears (x3)  
It's how we got here

Wanna get some bruises  
Wanna fall a few times  
Wanna put a couple mountains behind us  
Wanna throw a fist up  
Wanna yell a war cry  
Wanna say that we fought and we won

Don't cover our tracks  
We'll say it's never easy  
It was never easy  
And when we look back  
(look back, we look back)  
We'll wonder how we got here  
Tell 'em how we got here

It was blood and tears  
Blood and tears (x2)  
We forged every river of  
Blood and tears (x3)  
Oh, it's how we got here

Blood and tears (x3)  
We forged every river of  
Blood and tears (x3)  
It's how we got here

 _ **Post-Note: I absolutely needed one last fluffy, happy, future CS fic added to the mixtape before leaving on hiatus and this is one I've been saving up for a little while. This is stuff the show would never show us (even if I would pay good money to just watch a series where everyone in Storybrooke gets older and lives actual happily ever afters), but it's so cathartic to write. I hope you guys enjoyed and as always thanks for reading!**_


	109. Before There's Trouble

_**A/N: This is a reader prompted AU that asked for Emma to go through a bad break up only for her and her long-term best friend Killian to realize they have feelings for each other. I've kind of changed that a bit as you will all see, but I have stuck to the major points requested and included a bit of smut as my reader wanted. Inspired by the songs 'Before He Cheats' by Carrie Underwood and 'Trouble' by Gloriana.**_

Not many things truly bothered Killian Jones. At least that was what he liked to think to himself. He was a man not easily rattled, who stayed composed in darker moments, but he had to admit that right now he was thrown, hurting in a way that was far stronger than it should be and resenting the way things were right now.

The problem was simple and yet incredibly complicated. The woman he loved was currently on a date with another man, a man who Killian neither believed was deserving and who he envied more than he could say. Emma Swan might be his best friend, and arguably someone he should never desire that way but it couldn't be helped. Killian loved her and he was entirely sure that love started the moment they met years back on their first day of University. Back then they'd both been shy and unsure and looking for comfort in a place neither could call home. Now all this time later Killian had found his home in Emma, wherever she might be.

"Squeeze much tighter and you're going to shatter the mug."

The words of his partner pulled Killian from his thoughts and he realized David was right. Killian loosened his grip on the cup of coffee in front of him. He also tried to release the tick in his jaw that had formed but that was a bit harder to do.

"Wanna talk about it?" Killian shook his head.

"Nothing to talk about."

"Emma's on a date with someone else, and you want to tell me there's nothing to talk about?" Killian glanced at Dave again but stayed silent. This would be far easier if the man wasn't so damned observant. Then again that was a necessary skill set given their line of work on the sheriff's force.

"She's made her choice." David laughed harshly at that and Killian ground his teeth again.

"Only because she doesn't know you're in the running."

"She wouldn't want me there. We're friends, mate. Nothing more."

It killed Killian to admit that, but that was the reality. They had never encroached passed friendship, and every time he thought it might be the moment to tell her how he really felt, Killian chickened out. He might be a coward in the face of his love for her, but Killian wasn't willing to risk losing her. The only thing worse than watching her pick a man who wasn't him was not having Emma in his life at all.

"You are so full of shit." 

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Look, I've humored you for a while because Mary Margaret told me you'd both figure it out eventually, but it's not like you're pining away by yourself here, man. Emma's interested but you're missing your shot. She might fall in love with this guy because you can't just be honest."

The words gave Killian a simultaneous feeling of hope and a gut twisting sense of dread. What if Dave was right? What if he didn't need to lose Emma but was doing it because he was a fool?

Before he could work those answers out some chatter came over the radio informing them of an incident in the parking lot of a certain restaurant. All that was mentioned was a 'disturbance,' but Killian froze instantly because that was where Emma was tonight. The thought that she could be in trouble motivated him like nothing else could and after his second of surprise, he was up and out the door.

Dave threw the money for their coffees on the counter and they headed to the cruiser, the lights going as they made record time across town, but Killian wasn't ready for what he found. The disturbance wasn't something putting Emma at risk – the disturbance was Emma armed with a baseball bat taking swings at a tricked out muscle car.

"Bloody hell."

"What you said," Dave replied as they stepped out of the car. Killian immediately made his way over to Emma, who though clearly angry still appeared collected. She'd done a good amount of damage, but it wasn't truly terrible, at least not from what he could see here in the dark.

"Swan?"

Her face immediately turned to see him and he watched as she turned red in an instant. Doubt crept over her features where there had once been only anger. He immediately moved closer, wanting so badly to take her in his arms but he held back.

"Emma, what's happened?" She let out a huff of air before her reply, telling him that though she said the words calmly, she was emotional.

"I got here early for my date."

Killian didn't take her meaning. Instead he was stuck on why she was meeting the man here at all. Any person with a brain would know to treat Emma like the treasure she was. That meant flowers, affection, and most certainly picking her up for a date like this.

"Emma." Emma looked back over to see David and nodded at him before looking back at the bat in her hand and throwing it back in the backseat of her yellow bug. "Care to explain what I'm sure is a well reasoned… uh…episode?"

"Temporary insanity." She was protecting herself with deflection, a move Killian was familiar with from her, but it wasn't enough. He had to know everything and luckily Dave was there to get it out of her.

"I'm told that defense doesn't usually hold up in court." Emma sighed, her shoulders slouching slightly in defeat.

"My date is here with another woman. And if that wasn't bad enough, he didn't even have the originality or motivation to take us different places. Thus why getting here early was a little problematic."

Killian immediately saw red. She had to be joking. There was no way anyone could be that infuriatingly stupid. In seconds Killian was moving towards the door of the restaurant, determined to give this man a piece of his mind but Emma jumped in his way, her hands resting on his chest and he stopped.

"Oh no you don't. I just got my payback. Actually, I just went off the rails so to speak in a really bad way. There's no need for you to go risking your badge and causing more trouble."

Killian searched her features and he could see that underneath the carefully crafted mask she wore there was something more. His hand came to hold Emma's as he tried to ask if she was really sure. He didn't give a damn about his badge, but her honor was worth everything. Emma deserved respect and happiness, not some schmuck who thought he could string along women to suit his own fancy. Emma nodded that she was fine as yelling came from behind them.

"What the fuck?! Emma what are you – my car! God my car!"

Killian felt close to snapping in that moment, but when he saw the piece of shit that had hurt Emma a menacing grin came to his lips. The man looked completely horrified, as if the best thing in his world had been stolen from him. Good, served him right.

"We were just taking Miss Swan's statement here. Unfortunately she didn't happen to see anything." The man gawked at David's words and Killian's grin grew. Dave was just as interested in protecting Emma as he was and that was good, because there was no chance Killian would let anything blow back on her for this.

"Are you kidding me? Clearly she did this!" Killian growled low.

"And why would the lady be motivated to do such a thing?" The man flinched in the site of Killian's anger as Killian looked back to Emma. "That's all we need, love. Go home."

Emma looked at him critically but nodded and eventually turned around. Killian meanwhile didn't tear his gaze away until she'd gotten in her yellow bug and left the parking lot. Finally he let go of that strained breath that was holding on so tight to him and then focused back on the man who he felt deserving of far worse than a shattered windshield.

"Look man – Emma might be your friend but she did this to my car. You guys are police, you can't just not press charges." Before Killian could get himself into real trouble with this sniveling shit, David stepped in.

"Like we said, sir. There are no cameras out here, and other than taking these crime scene photos and your statement – not much else we can do. Unless you want us to converse with the young woman you were just dining with." The man went white and Killian felt a bit of smug satisfaction from the mortification on the bloke's face.

"The statement gonna be enough for insurance?"

Killian mumbled under his breath that car insurance might not be the kind this cretin needed at the moment, but David assured him it would, took the statement quickly as the man called a tow truck. In under an hour they were gone, and David was dropping Killian off at Emma's, which was the only place he could think to go. He had to be sure she was alright and to try to make things better if she wasn't.

"I think you should tell her," Dave called out through the window when Killian had exited the cruiser.

"What?" It took a moment to realize what his friend was getting at.

"That you love her. I think she should know."

"Now?!" Killian couldn't believe that was a good plan at all.

"All we have is now, and if I'm right, that guy tonight didn't matter. Just trust me." With that, Dave drove off, not allowing for Killian to respond and leaving him with a decision to make – should he be brave or cower again?

Killian marched up the steps to her apartment, hands shaky because he knew what he was about to do. He was about to tell Emma that she hadn't any reason to be heart broken. There was nothing she had done to deserve such treatment and there never could be. His Swan was heaven itself and he was going to tell her finally that was what he truly believed.

But when she opened the door, changed from the dress she'd been in into comfortable clothes, her hair pulled back, and the slightest bit of red surrounding her eyes Killian couldn't do it. All he saw was her pain and he realized that telling her he loved her was a selfish quest to be on. She was hurting, and for him to think that his desire for her would fix that… well it was ridiculous. Clearly she'd cared for the man, perhaps she'd even loved him.

"Emma, I -," She interrupted him with a small attempt at a smile.

"Tell me you brought rum."

Killian stuttered a bit before shaking his head. He'd been on duty, and he only ever carried that damned flask he had around when he was with her. Emma had thought it incredibly funny and endearing back at school, that's why the token ever saw the light of day.

"That's okay, I have some in here. You won't make me drink alone, will you?" Emma's smile warmed a touch at that and he could see hope in her eyes healing part of his own fractured heart as it came.

"You never have to be alone, love. I'm not going anywhere." She stepped aside letting him in, and made good on his promise, being there for his Swan even if it pained him to do it only as a friend.

….

 _Two months later_

"I'll never understand how you do it, love." Emma looked over to Killian who was walking beside her back from Granny's diner where they'd just had breakfast with Mary Margaret and David.

She wondered for a split second if by 'it' he meant hiding her feelings for him, but realized that couldn't be what he meant. Even if the whole meal to her had felt like this symbol of what could be, them as a couple enjoying time with their matched up best friends, it wasn't real. It was just a dream, a really vivid one she was now trying to walk out of.

"Do what?" Killian's brow rose.

"Calm Mary Margaret as you did. She was so worked up over those flowers for their wedding. Dave's been on about it all week and how he couldn't figure out how to help, and in a moment you turned it all around." Emma nodded.

"She just needed to cut through the what-ifs. In the end does it really matter if they're lilies or roses? No, what matters is that she's walking down the aisle to David, the man she loves." Emma's voice cracked a bit on the end of the statement, and she cast her eyes away from Killian, hoping to recover without his notice. Of course he saw through her though and he reached for her hand to stop her, turning her towards him.

"Is everything alright, Swan?" Before Emma could make up some excuse she heard a voice she was hoping she wouldn't ever stumble on again, one that she'd been lucky enough to avoid for nearly two months.

"Emma?" Neal. Of course he would turn up right now. Emma shifted to look back around and saw that her ex of a sort (did he count as an ex if they'd only gone on three dates?) was standing there with the same woman Emma had seen him with two months back on that night. Great, this just went from bad to worse.

"Hi." Emma could feel Killian tensing up beside her, and she took his hand feeling both a zing of awareness and some of the stiffness leaving him. She didn't look to his eyes, afraid of what she'd see there.

"So are you two..." Emma didn't make to respond but Killian did.

"That's none of your concern." The threat in Killian's voice was so thinly veiled that it made Neal jump, but for Emma it was a reaffirming thing. Killian was so willing to protect her and that felt good even if this was just pretend.

"I didn't mean anything. I just figured with the way your department handled my car -,"

Killian took a step forward, and Emma moved in front of him, only now looking into his blue eyes, imploring him to just let her handle this. Immediately he backed down and Emma let out a silent thanks to the universe. Then she looked back to Neal and the woman beside him and she tried to find a way to get rid of them without being a complete doormat or destroying whatever relationship they still had.

"Look, Neal - I'd say it was nice to see you but we both know it wasn't. So instead I'll go with have a nice life."

Emma neglected to look at either him or the woman's reactions before she pulled Killian's hand with her past them and further down the main road. Soon enough they were turning onto her street and only then did Killian stop her, pulling Emma back to him and waiting until she looked up to meet his gaze

"That man's a bloody fool for ruining things with you. I can't think of anything more ridiculous. More stupid – it's unimaginable."

Emma smiled at that compliment, taking a little delight in seeing Killian this riled up, only for her to remember this was coming not from a place of loving her, but one of loyalty. Emma had to keep reminding herself that they were friends and that on that night he'd made that even more painfully clear. When he'd come inside to offer his shoulder to cry on and shared that rum with her he'd been merely a friend. There was no charge or heat, none of those moments that sometimes came that made Emma wonder if there wasn't more between them on both sides.

Killian tried to help her, offering to talk it out, but the whole thing had been such an embarrassing situation she didn't bother. And it wasn't because she'd loved Neal or anything like that but because he was an attempt to move on from her problematic infatuation with her best friend. For Killian to then witness the fall out, and to actually roll up on her losing her cool with that bat was something else entirely. Mortifying was putting it lightly.

But he never ever made her feel like she hadn't been completely in the right. All night long he told her that she deserved better and that Neal deserved far worse and his honest belief in that only made Emma want so much more. More than once she'd been on the verge of telling Killian that you couldn't love two men at once, and that Killian would always be the one who had her heart. But every time the words were about to bubble up, he'd acknowledge that she should be grieving. Emma knew that meant he wasn't interested. Killian didn't see her that way as much as it hurt to admit it.

"Don't let him ruin the day. Really he'd not worth it."

"Perhaps you're right." Emma could feel a 'but' coming and cut Killian off before he could continue on the rampage.

"We weren't officially dating."

"But I heard you telling Mary Margaret that you were." Emma knew she was probably beet read at this point.

"I said that so she'd lay off a little bit. She knew I was trying to move on but I just couldn't." Killian looked confused still but pressed further.

"Even if it wasn't exclusive, Emma, you still cared for him. You wouldn't have gotten so angry had you not made room in your heart for him." God Killian was so infuriatingly convinced she was in love with Neal. He was just someone to help cure the lonely – granted a bad attempt but still.

"There's no room."

"I'm sorry?" Emma felt the worlds tumbling passed her lips before she could think better of them.

"I totaled his car because he was a jack ass and because I felt helpless. He made a fool of me, yes, but he didn't hurt me because… because you can't be in love with two people at once." Killian looked shell shocked.

"There's someone else?" And in that moment Emma saw something underneath the curiosity: there was raw hope and fear all in once, fear maybe that that person wouldn't be him.

"Yeah there's someone else. My heart has been yours since we met Killian, and I've been trying to deal with it but -,"

Emma didn't get the chance to finish saying everything because he was on her then, arms wrapped around her, lips crashing down to hers and stealing away every thought and her breath in the single best kiss she'd ever been given. It was perfect, a manifestation of every fantasy she'd had about being with Killian, and Emma could hardly believe it was real. If this was a dream, she hoped she never woke up.

"I have loved you since the first moment, Emma. No one has ever compared, and no one ever will. I love you." Emma felt like this was all too incredible to believe. He loved her? Then why had they been waiting? Why had they danced around each other all these years?

"You love me?"

"Aye, Swan. More than anything." His blue eyes were filled with light and honesty. She could feel the truth of his words and how much he meant them and it set something off in her that couldn't be cast aside. She needed him right now, more proof that this was real and that they were truly on the same page.

"Good." She took his hand in hers, dragging him down the rest of the block that led to her apartment and up the stairs through the door. Once there, she was in constant motion, needing to feel all of him now because she didn't want to risk waiting another moment.

Killian must have felt the same, for though Emma worried he might hesitate and play the gentleman that she knew he so often was, he was just as frantic and desperate as she was. His kiss seared into her, his hands tracing sublimely pleasurable tracks along her skin as bit by bit their clothing fell away. Their jackets were strewn on the floor, then shirts and jeans and piece by piece both Emma and Killian studied the other even as they never let go. This was like magic, the creation of vivid imagination. How could this truly be her life?

"Tell me this is real, Emma." She nodded, knowing instinctively why he needed the affirmation. This was such an incredible step for both of them, something that had been coming for so long but looked like it would never get here, but here they were.

"It's real." Then his lips were back on hers and Emma was yielding readily, letting him lead her back into the depths of a pleasure no one else had ever given her.

It was impossible to identify everything that Emma was feeling, from the scratch of his beard as he moved to kiss her neck, to the way his hands moved across her body. It was dizzying and perfect and Emma felt caught under his spell while part of her also fought for some control. Her fingers pulled him close, her hips ground against him until he let out a moan of his own and she smiled. She loved that sound and the way it told her that as desperate as she'd been for this, Killian was just the same. Emma could feel the hard ridge of his arousal, and knew where this was going, but impatience won out.

"Were you planning to take me right here?" She asked, completely fine with the idea of him having his way with her on the couch, as long as they kept going. She needed to feel all of him because finally she knew he loved her.

"Not a chance, Swan. I've every intention of making love to you in a bed, all night long." Emma shivered at the words, holding onto him tighter but before she could verbally respond, Killian swept her up in his arms, making record time across the apartment and into her bedroom.

"Gods you are the most stunning creature I have ever beheld."

Emma blushed, knowing that his words didn't just stem from the matching black lingerie she'd been wearing underneath her clothes today. No, Killian was looking at her like he so often had. That intensity she'd always seen was more than loyalty and caring – it was love.

"You're not so bad yourself."

It was an understatement in the extreme, because Emma was mesmerized by all of him in this moment, but his low chuckle cut through her the most, making the need she had swell even higher. Her mind was racing with where this could go, what they could do, and by the time she was spread out on the bed the thoughts were coming so quickly she couldn't make heads or tails of them.

"I've wanted your hands on me a long time, Emma, but if you keep that up this will all be over so much faster than we deserve."

She hadn't even realized what she was doing, but Emma liked the idea of this being fast and hard until it dawned on her that he'd called them a 'we.' She closed her eyes, sighing at how good that felt, only to feel his hand cup her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open again.

"Tell me that you know this is forever, Emma. I need to hear you say it."

"Forever."

Her one word promise sparked something in him, and he set off to giving her everything even if it was slower than she wanted. Emma moaned as his hands came to unclasp her bra, exposing more of her to him. His blue eyes went dark and whether he knew it or not Killian licked his lips, making Emma's thighs clench. God that was hot. _He_ was hot, and he was hers.

He reminded her of that over and over again, whispering it reverently as his mouth and hands traced every inch of her – every spot that made her almost purr with satisfaction. She was so turned on, gasping for breath and pleading for more, which he never failed to give her.

" _Killian_!"

Emma could hardly recognized her voice when she said his name aloud. It was sprung tight with need, taught with tension of the most gratifying variety that only ramped up further when Killian hummed in approval. As his hands stripped the last bit of cotton left between them off of her, Emma felt the room begin to spin. The anticipation was killing her.

The feel of his hands on her thighs, pushing her legs wider apart so that he could see her so intimately, it further ignited an already lit inferno inside of her. She was shaking before he even kissed the inside of her thigh, and she jumped when the first contact came, melting and combusting all at once.

"Tell me one more time, love."

Emma groaned aloud. She couldn't tell if she loved this suddenly cocky edge his voice had or hated it. On the one hand the words were so easy to say because they were totally true, but on the other he was stalling, keeping the release she knew was coming just out of her grasp

"I love you."

Her three-word vow was the catalyst that took Killian from languid to ravenous and the sensation was blinding. His mouth was divine, working and pleasing her sex in this masterful way that he made seem effortless even as he redefined everything she'd ever known before. Nothing else in the world felt this good and Emma knew he was the only man who could give this to her because she loved him. It was no shock then that he had her tumbling over into ecstasy so much faster than she'd ever thought possible.

"I love you, Emma. I can't stress that enough. You are everything to me." He said the words as one of his hands ran through her hair. Her eyes filled with tears, because she'd never been happier or more excited than she was right now.

"Show me."

Killian's blue eyes held understanding in their depths and he heeded her request, filling her so completely in one thrust that he completely frayed her senses with how right this felt. This was proof that she hadn't been wrong to love him, to let him in, and to show he who she truly was. He'd broken down all her walls the past few years and it was that rawness, that grounding in trust and realness that made this so damn powerful.

This uniting was slower, and Emma knew that Killian needed that, the sweet show of love instead of chasing carnal bliss, but she loved the moment where his control snapped and his breathing staggered. She was so close, and suddenly she was there, spiraling into bliss again as she pulled him with her changing them both forever.

A few moments after, when Emma was finally starting to return to herself she heard the sound of laughter only to realize it was her own. Killian's smile and his hands running along her back only added to it.

"Your laugh has long been my favorite sound, love. Though I have to ask why it's made an appearance now."

"I'm just happy. So insanely happy."

"So I don't have to bother with hiding the baseball bat then?" Emma rolled her eyes and swatted at his chest before laughing more as she ducked her head into his chest.

"I can't believe I really did that."

"I can't believe you wouldn't let me do more."

"Well the good news is there will never be the need to defend me like that again. Unless you're planning on hurting me." Emma said it in a teasing way, knowing that with Killian her heart would always be safe. He was a good man, honestly the best she'd ever known. His face took on a serious quality though as he responded.

"Never, Emma. As long as I live, you'll never know that pain again." What else could she say to that, other than that she would always keep his heart safe too for now and always.

The two of them remained there together, tangled up and completely content in the after glow of this newly discovered love. And yes, both Emma and Killian knew that they had missed countless chances to say what they felt and to be this happy together before, but the beauty of the moment was that it was a true beginning. All they had to do was follow it to the future they were meant for filled with love, light, and happiness the likes of which neither had ever seen before.

…

 _Right now, he's probably slow dancing  
With a bleached-blond tramp  
And she's probably getting frisky  
Right now, he's probably buying  
Her some fruity little drink  
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey_

 _Right now, he's probably up behind her  
With a pool-stick  
Showing her how to shoot a combo  
And he don't know_

 _I dug my key into the side  
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive  
Carved my name into his leather seats  
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights  
I slashed a hole in all four tires  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

 _Right now, she's probably up singing some  
White-trash version of Shania karaoke  
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"  
And he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky_

 _Right now, he's probably  
Dabbing on three dollars  
Worth of that bathroom Polo  
Oh, and he don't know_

 _That I dug my key into the side  
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive  
Carved my name into his leather seats  
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights  
I slashed a hole in all four tires  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

 _I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl  
'Cause the next time that he cheats  
Oh, you know it won't be on me!  
No, not on me_

 _'Cause I dug my key into the side  
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive  
Carved my name into his leather seats  
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights  
I slashed a hole in all four tires  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

 _Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats  
Oh, before he cheats  
Oh_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you to my lovely reader for this prompt and I am sorry it took quite a while to get to it. I try not to write AUs involving Neal as a sort of villain. Even if I didn't like him, I find it is much easier to write Walsh as the bad guy. But I definitely wanted to respect my reader's request, and I hope I didn't cast anyone too badly. Besides I ended with CS love confessions and smut so it has to be okay, right? I'll just choose to believe that. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	110. Little Hands

_**A/N: This is a future CS fic prompted by a lovely reader who wanted to see nervous Killian before he becomes a father. Emma will console him of course and love will win out in the end. I have written a few other chapters similar to this, but this baby-induced anxiety turned fluff is a favorite storyline of mine. In all honesty, it's been a joy to write. Inspired by 'Little Hands' by Charlie Simpson.**_

Killian Jones' life had been ever changing since the first moment he laid eyes on Emma Swan. That was a simple and yet consuming fact. Back then in the enchanted forest she'd been intriguing, a person who cut through the darkness even when he was in the thickest haze of wanting revenge. He might not have realized in those first moments, but that power spoke volumes to what Emma would come to mean to him. In truth she was damn near everything.

Every day since that first meeting, more and more of his darkness had fallen away. Love instead had taken its place, and thanks to Emma's belief in him and his growing belief in himself, Killian largely accepted that he was a more worthy man than he'd ever been before. He would never truly believe himself Emma's equal, for his Swan was so remarkable in every way, but he did know that they deserved to be together and to be happy, and that happiness continued to pour in despite the opposition of evil forces here and there.

The road to the promised happily ever after was daunting, fraught with trials and battles and hardships, but at every turn Emma and Killian fought for the chance to keep going. Even in the direst of moments, they always chose love and now they continued to prioritize it by living every day as the precious gift it was.

The house he'd found became a home for both of them as well as Henry, and soon thereafter they were married. Killian believed that would forever be the best day of his life, but only a few months later another huge change presented itself: he and Emma were expecting another child, a little brother or sister for Henry and Killian was in a word… discombobulated.

At the base of all his feelings was joy, pure and unadulterated. It coursed through him when he heard the news and even now weeks and weeks later, he found himself bubbling with a happiness so profound it mirrored only the moments when Emma told him she loved him and promised him forever. But with that joy and excitement there also came doubt, fear that he might not be ready and that their child would suffer because of it.

What began as a trickle of anxiety, bloomed into an ugly and dark cloud that Killian couldn't seem to escape. He was living in a world of what-ifs and uncertainty, and it was something so far outside of his sense of normal that it shook him all the more. He had complete and utter faith in Emma but what did he (a one handed pirate with centuries of swashbuckling under his belt and a few years as a hero), know about raising children and raising them well?

Yes, he'd had more interaction with little ones since finding himself immersed in Emma's family. He'd even been praised for being liked by most of the infants and toddlers he met, but there was a difference. Little Neal's infatuation with him and the admiration of Belle's son and Ella's daughter couldn't be considered indicative of his potential successes as a parent. To think that they could be was fool hearty, and Killian knew that above all he should be realistic. Only through knowing his limitations could he hope to improve.

As a father his role would be so much larger than the one he played for any of these already existing children in their circle of family and friends, and though he had come to think of Henry as his son, Killian was wise enough to realize the differences there too. Henry was older and already growing into a young man by the time Killian was given the chance to be a part of his life. The child on the way now, however, would know him from the start and there would be so many more ways to mess things up because of it.

To compensate Killian was avidly working to fill all of his perceived gaps in ability. What he didn't know about child rearing he would learn, and what he and Emma didn't have he would procure. Killian had been on a mission for months now and it was always on his mind. He never wanted to burden Emma with this fixation though. He already knew she would be the greatest of mothers; it was he who needed improvement to earn this opportunity.

All of this logic and reasoning set the stage for where he found himself one particular morning. Killian was meticulously working his way around the house trying to ready it for a young child. 'Baby proofing' was what the books called it, and with every item on the list Killian found his worry rising and the stream of constant questions growing louder in his mind: What if he missed something? What if his more limited understanding of this world hindered his ability to keep the baby safe? What if he hadn't the physical skill required to handle certain tasks given his hook? Hell was the hook itself the greatest liability of all?

"Killian?"

Emma's call from the doorway of the kitchen where he currently was made Killian jump, and he hit his head on the bottom of the sink where he'd been trying to assess the 'toxins' that were used for cleaning in this world. It had been giving him a headache to read the names of these things called 'chemicals' and trying to match them with the listed dangers in his book, but banging his head hurt worse. He eventually stood though, rubbing the back of his skull to ease the throb before turning to his wife.

The instant he looked at Emma there was an immediate sense of comfort. Emma's presence to this day was the most powerful thing in the world and when she appeared like this, with her hair cascading around her shoulders and her green eyes still a little hazy from sleep but smiling at him all the same, she was truly a vision. All this time later, the sight of her had no less impact on Killian. He felt his heart hammering in his chest and his breath hitch just from her eyes on his seeing, him and accepting him as he was.

When his gaze eventually took more in and he could see the bit of her baby bump through the fabric of his shirt that she'd donned from their bedroom, his body was immediately engulfed in wanting her. Where he'd already been aware, he was now downright desirous and silently he cursed himself for leaving their bed this morning. Surely the best relief to his worry was making love to his wife instead of tinkering around the house as he'd done. They only had a handful of days a week when Henry was at Regina's after all – they should be making the most of every one of them.

"Good morning, love." Emma grinned as she walked towards him. When she was just a few inches away her hand came to rest on his chest as she kissed him lightly, leaving that tingle of awareness moving from his lips through the rest of him as she did.

"It would have been better if I'd woken up to my husband instead of empty sheets." Bloody hell, she was a siren and she knew it. The light in her jade colored eyes gave her away and made Emma all more the more beautiful. "What were you doing anyway?"

Her question pulled Killian back into his worries and he looked back down at the slight mess he'd been making and scratched behind his ear.

"Getting a jump start for the baby. This house is a death trap." Emma laughed and Killian turned back to look at her.

"Don't you think that's a little extreme?"

"Not according to the literature, Swan. We need to secure the cabinets, block those damned outlet things with the electricity in them, re-secure all the locks -," Emma shook her head.

"Killian, stop." He immediately complied with Emma's request even though there were a thousand other things he had left to do. "I know you're scared, but there's no need to be. You can do this. _We_ can do this together."

"I've no doubts of your ability, my love."

"But you doubt yourself."

Killian gave a slight nod, not risking going against her superpower. But where he expected that Emma would be surprised, she looked a little relieved, as if she'd been waiting to talk about this. Emma exhaled a breath, amazing him further with a smile and words that blew him away.

"Well _I_ don't doubt you because I know that this is going to be the best thing we've ever fought for. I know that we were meant to get here to this moment. This is what we both want, it's that dream we both share, and it's ours. I don't want you to be afraid of that Killian, not when I know that it's going to be so good."

His hand came to rest above hers where it still remained over his heart. He held it there both because he needed to feel her and the healing that her words brought forth, and because he was a brave enough man to admit his trepidations. He wouldn't hide from Emma any longer, not when they were partners in this and everything else.

"You're right, Emma. This is a dream we share, and more than that it's the life I want for both of us. The problem isn't whether I want this, it's whether I am man enough to do this and do it right. My father -,"

"Is not you. You're nothing like him, Killian." Killian brought her hand up to kiss lightly for he could feel it starting to tremble slightly. Then he returned it to its spot.

"Aye, love. I merely meant that I've had no guides. I am at a loss and the unknown is what tears me apart." Emma nodded.

"I get it, trust me. Not knowing how things will turn out is just about the scariest thing you can face, but you seem to be missing a key element of what makes us who we are." She paused for a moment before filling him in. "Hope. We didn't start out as particularly hopeful people, but it got us this far, and it's what's always going to keep us afloat. Not guarantees, not easy sailing, but faith that we've faced the worst life has to offer and we still made it through."

"When you put it so eloquently, how can I find fault in your point, my love?"

Emma smiled at that, and Killian could tell that she understood that this was working. Her assurances were not falling on deaf ears, he trusted Emma enough to let her be his strength in this. Her hope would inspire him to find it too.

"Will we make mistakes? Yes. Will the fear follow us? Yeah, probably. But the most important thing is that I love you, and that I know you love me and this family."

"I do, Swan. More than anything." Emma's smile warmed as her hand came up to cup his cheek.

"And don't think I don't hear you every night, talking to the baby, telling her you love her. I hear you every time with all the promises and sweet things that you say about being the calm in the storm and never letting her down and it's proof that you are going to be a great father. I couldn't imagine a better man to do this with, to live my life with than you."

Killian stood there a little in shock not because of Emma's faith in him but because of what she'd unknowingly revealed.

" _Her_?" Emma smiled again, a tinge of pink setting upon her cheeks as she did.

"The dreams I've been having are getting more detailed. I don't have definitive proof…"

"But you know." Emma nodded as Killian's eyes filled with happy tears as his hand moved to her abdomen, to the swell of the space where their daughter was growing even now. "We're going to have a daughter."

"We are and you're going to show her how to sail and how to sword fight. You'll teach her what makes someone honorable and what it means to protect the people you love no matter what. And she'll never wonder if she's loved just like I never wonder if you love me." Killian hummed in approval at the idea.

"Of course all of that can only be done after you show her what it means to be good, to be kind, to never doubt herself or her worth, and to put cinnamon on cocoa in correct proportions." Emma laughed at his teasing, but nodded all the same.

"Just think, you and my Dad can now trade notes on the whole protective father thing."

Killian laughed and replied with a kiss instead of words. He hoped that it would convey to his wife how grateful he was and how much he loved her and their family. When he finally pulled away, his arms were fully wrapped around his love as his forehead rested against hers.

"Thank you, Emma." In an instant her smile turned just a little wicked and her voice grew slightly huskier.

"If you _really_ want to thank me, you'll come back to bed so we can start this morning the way we were supposed to."

"As you wish." Then Killian kissed her again before leading Emma back up the stairs to their bedroom and making good on his promise. With the show of love, Emma's word was made true - the fear did recede, and the hope won out, staying strong and firm from that point forward.

A few months later Emma and Killian finally made it to one of the new best days of both their lives – the day they met their daughter who they aptly named Hope. And just as Emma predicted, Killian took to fatherhood immediately, loving his little girl and all her other future siblings as surely as he did his wife and their family over all.

…

 _Oh, little hands_

 _There's fire in the night burning out of sight when you're in a strange land_

 _I hope that I can help you walk alone_

 _Cause we all fall down_

 _Yeah we all fall down_

 _We all fall down_

 _Trying to find a way_

 _I forget where we were going_

 _Maybe I'm lost and I don't know it_

 _What if it don't come that easy to me?_

 _What if every good intention is a curse and not a blessing?_

 _Cause it don't come that easy to me_

 _But as everything is raging on_

 _I will be your sea of calm_

 _Even if it don't come easy to me_

 _Oh, little eyes_

 _Quiet as the night following the light you'll find a warm place_

 _Where I will try to keep from the edge_

 _Cause we all fall down_

 _Yeah we all fall down_

 _We all fall down_

 _Trying to find a way_

 _I forget where we were going_

 _Maybe I'm lost and I don't know it_

 _What if it don't come that easy to me?_

 _What if every good intention is a curse and not a blessing?_

 _Cause it don't come that easy to me_

 _But as everything is raging on_

 _I will be your sea of calm_

 _Even if it don't come easy to me_

 _I forget where we were going_

 _Maybe I'm lost and I don't know it_

 _What if it don't come that easy to me?_

 _What if every good intention is a curse and not a blessing?_

 _Cause it don't come that easy to me_

 _But as everything is raging on_

 _I will be your sea of calm_

 _Even if it don't come easy to me_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you again to the lovely reader who asked for this song and prompted this story. It was such a nice bit of fluff to write today and has made my Thursday far better. I only hope you all enjoy it too and that someday we get to have this dynamic on the show. Call it a pipe dream, but I'm holding out for total happily ever afters somewhere down the line. Until then I'll just keep writing them myself. Anyway, hope you all have a great rest of your day and thanks for reading!**_


	111. I Still Love You

_**A/N: AU fic prompted by a reader who wanted the song 'Austin' by Blake Shelton. Begins with a broken up Emma and Killian and ends with a reunion and a fluffy flash forward because all angst should get immediate resolution in my book. I've written similar situations before (some of them very recently), but this is a Killian POV chapter and at the end of the day, I will never run out of love for oneshots that give us these big moments of reconciliation. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoy!**_

Walking home from the bar one Saturday night, two weeks after his world had largely shattered, Killian Jones wondered at his acting skills. He was curious if his mates truly believed him to be all right in this moment. They seemed convinced, but if they were, if he had delivered a winning performance that made them think he was okay, than he deserved every accolade.

The reality underneath his well crafted façade was that Killian was just as miserable as he had been since that night two weeks ago, the night he told the only woman who he'd ever truly loved that she had all of him. It was supposed to be a moment to be celebrated, a time when love won out, but instead it had undermined the happiness he had with Emma so profoundly that the dust still hadn't settled.

Killian had played that moment back over and over again in his head. He remembered every detail from the easy smile that followed Emma's laugh when they'd finished their movie, to the spike of fear that came when he uttered his affirmation of love for her. He'd caught her off guard, and though Killian largely believed that he'd torn down her walls Emma's defenses rose in an instant. This beautiful woman who was strong and sure and brighter than any other person he knew panicked and it hadn't been to hurt him, but to spare herself the pain her instincts told her was on the way.

" _Loving me is the surest way to getting us both hurt."_

Killian could hardly comprehend the sentiment for it made no sense to him. Loving Emma was everything, the light in a life he'd had that was for so long dull and gray. She invigorated him, making him hopeful like nothing else ever could just by placing her hand in his, but to Emma love was a threat, a weapon that could be wielded against her, and something to be feared.

Under that fear though and behind the lines of worry that had marred her beautiful face, Killian knew that there was so much more to Emma's feelings than that. Her heart was far from cold, if anything his Swan felt so much more acutely than everyone else, but instead of talking it through with him or running towards him, Emma left his apartment in a rush.

" _I have to go. Please just let me go."_

He'd thought to give her space, to let her have a bit of time to come to terms with it, but the next morning when she didn't pick up her phone he went to the apartment that she shared with her friend Ruby. Only Emma was gone – with barely a word to Ruby about why and without so much as a note or an indication of where she was going for Killian. Perhaps that should have angered him or tore at his heart, but all it did at first was make him worry. Emma was out in the world without anyone to lean on and she was hurting. He didn't want her going through that. Instead he wanted to spare her that loneliness.

Emma's hasty retreat also meant that he had no closure and truly no idea on how he could move forward, not that he ever believed that a possibility. Killian had long joked to Emma that she was a bit of an open book, but it was largely true. He understood her and prided himself on anticipating many of her reactions, but that night he'd been totally surprised. Killian could see that she felt this love between them too, he experienced it every time they were together, and for a second she'd appeared close to saying it back to him only for her to withdraw, denying them both the happiness they deserved as she did.

"I think I'm gonna call her."

Killian's ears perked up at the comment from his friend Will. He'd been largely ignoring the conversation going on around him between his friends as they walked the two blocks from the bar but now he was immersed once more, his weary mind given reprieve from replaying everything with Emma if only for a second.

Will was talking about the brunette he'd met just moments ago, but as soon as he realized that was Will's subject, Killian couldn't help thinking about his own attempts to call Emma. Her phone had been off since the night she left but he'd been checking still, hoping that a day would come when that phone would ring and she'd pick up instead of flashing straight to voicemail.

"Will, it's been twenty minutes. You don't think that's a little fast?" Will looked at Dave quizzically, as if their friend was a right idiot for proposing that Will stall a bit in his affections.

"I think when it's right fast doesn't matter. The heart has no timeline."

Killian barked out a gruff laugh, and from Dave's glance, Killian could tell that he hadn't gotten by unnoticed. He couldn't help the response though, not when Will was animated in a way that only ever came from drinking and the potential of new love, and he was strutting around with a goofy, hopeful smile. It was an uncharacteristically positive response from his old friend, and for it to come at a time when Killian himself was struggling, well he just had to laugh or else he'd fall apart.

Unknowingly Will had provided Killian with an apt analysis of his own problem: Killian's heart had jumped in without questioning timing, and the blowback was substantial. He'd been ready to move into a future with Emma, putting his old heartaches far behind him as he did, but Emma's demons still had a hold and her old habits had been an unexpected snag in the reaction that Killian wanted. All this heartache was coming because he hadn't been patient enough. Killian hadn't given Emma the chance to get to where he was, to feel the same safety and that undeniable level of rightness that he himself had found.

"Your laughter won't deter me, Jones. I'm calling Belle and she's going to be glad I did."

Thankfully the friends were just reaching the intersection where Will would leave them to head back to his own flat. This provided Killian with a way out of giving his two cents about Will's new found infatuation, but Dave was another story. As soon as Will had waved goodbye, holding his phone firmly in his grasp as he still debated that call, David was on Killian with opinions he didn't want to face.

"Your situation with Emma isn't the same, man."

Killian kept quiet hoping that if he ignored the words Dave would take the hint, but alas he wasn't so fortunate. More than that, the question that Dave then posed took Killian aback, striking to a more central chord than he expected.

"Why did you fall in love with her?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just answer the question. Why did you fall in love with Emma?"

The query sounded simple enough, but Killian knew it was anything but. The answer was complicated, detailed, and intricate in a way Killian couldn't describe out here on the street to his friend. Honestly, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to form the full answer ever since there were so many small facets of his bond to Emma.

He'd fallen in love with her not because of one particular thing, but because of everything she was. Emma was a siren with teasing green eyes and hair like sunshine, a kick ass bail bonds person who didn't take shit from anyone, a girl who'd for so long been lost in the world, an orphan just like him who was trying to do better and find a better story than the one she'd been born into. He'd fallen because of her infatuation with cocoa and her ability to match him when it came time for rum. Because she cried at all those commercials with homeless animals, and because she didn't believe that she was worth loving even though she truly was.

"So?" Killian groaned aloud, practically yelling his reply.

"Because she's Emma! Because she's exactly who she is and there was never any hope that I could resist her. Happy?" When Dave smiled Killian didn't know what to say. This was not the time for grins, but no one seemed to have told Dave that.

"That right there is why it's different, and it's why eventually all of this is going to work itself out."

"Are you serious? 'It'll all work out?' You've been pushing me to move on since the second I told you she was gone."

"No, I've been reminding you to live your life. I've been telling you to keep the ship afloat, not sail it out to sea."

Killian scoffed at the seafaring metaphor but then he realized that David's faith might signal some sort of news. David's wife was one of Emma's friends after all. Perhaps they were privy to something Killian had missed. Before he could ask what that might be though, David shook his head, reminding Killian once more to keep the ship afloat.

"And whatever happens, remember why you love her."

With that, Dave was gone, in a highly unusual departure that left Killian curious and flabbergasted all at once. Then again, he had to say he felt a little better. At least he now had validation in the helpless pining he'd been indulging in for these two long weeks.

The emptiness of his apartment was enough to pull him back into the gray once more though, and the same feeling of missing Emma that was always here came rearing its head as soon as he was in the door.

He hung up his jacket and thought of how Emma always seemed to fancy him in black leather. He moved into the kitchen and recalled how Emma constantly chastised him for keeping leftovers he never intended to eat. By the time he reached his bedroom it was all Emma all the time for all he could think about was how empty the world felt when he didn't fall asleep beside her and wake up to that subtle peace that clung to her only when she was asleep.

"If this is keeping the ship afloat… well I'd make a terrible Captain." Great, now he was talking to himself, because he so needed that added to the list of things wrong in his life.

The sudden ringing of his cellphone interrupted the stream of self-criticism pounding through Killian's head, and when he saw that the number was unlisted, and that it was coming at this time of night – he knew that this was unusual. Telemarketers didn't call at two in the morning.

"Hello?" His greeting was met not with a dial tone but silence, and though it took a moment for him to wrap his mind around that, there came a second of understanding, or maybe it was hopeful thinking. "Swan?"

Killian swore he heard a slight intake of breath, but then there was only more silence and Killian felt his heart breaking a little more even as his body came alive for the first time in weeks. He was nearly shaking with it and all of the questions racing through his mind cut through the slight fogginess prompted by the substantial amount of rum he'd had tonight.

"If it is you, Emma, I – I want you to know that nothing's changed. I meant what I said that night. When I told you that I love you it wasn't conditional, but a forever sort of thing. I don't care that you ran, maybe I pushed you too hard and too fast, but I couldn't run from the truth anymore and I won't start now. I still love you, more than anything. Just come back, please."

He hadn't expected a reply if he was being honest. In fact, Killian was now slightly more aware of the fact that this might not even be Emma but just one of those damned robotic telemarketers gone rogue but whatever or whoever was calling, Killian had now admitted a fundamental truth to himself – his love wasn't going anywhere and even if it killed him he would hold onto the hope that this could work if only Emma was willing to try.

Killian hung up the phone then, feeling his stomach drop as he did, but there wasn't anything else he could do tonight. Tomorrow though was a different story. Tomorrow he'd go about rising above his misery to fight for them and to show Emma that he did love her. This wasn't just a turn of phrase to him, and those three little words that terrified her didn't actually compare to what he felt. They were meant to be together and now it was Killian's firmest desire to make her see that.

But before he could so much as move Killian heard a sound that stole his breath away. Three light raps at the front door – soft but sounding through the apartment all the same. For a moment he wondered if he'd dreamed them up, if they might not be a fantasy brought about by missing Emma, but his feet would not allow him to remain where he was and soon enough he was opening the door without so much as a look to who it was.

Hopes were made real when Killian saw that Emma was there on the other side, and again he wondered if perhaps this was just a figment of his imagination, but if it was it was the realest one he'd had in weeks. He could see every detail in her face, the lingering doubt, the bit of anxiety, but at the forefront now there was something else. Something that colored those green eyes of her just a shade darker than normal and stole across her cheeks in a flush of pink.

"I love you too."

That was it – her love for him had been shining through the darkness, and her eyes were filled with unshed tears from the force of it. The sight of them immediately compelled Killian to comfort her, but before he could reply to those incredible words Emma went on.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Killian. I didn't run because I doubted that I love you or because I didn't believe that you loved me either. I ran because I didn't think I knew how to do this, how to let someone in, how to let them see me. Which was so stupid because you've always seen me, and you've always stayed even when I couldn't."

Killian couldn't help but pull her into his arms at that point, and though he felt the shaky sob that threatened to escape her chest, Emma kept on talking, trying to make him see the parts of this story that remained obscured to him. He took them in of course, but the most important thing to him was that she was here, holding him back just as tightly as he was holding onto her. His face was buried in her golden hair, his eyes closed as he took in the scent of her, grounding himself in the warmth only Emma ever brought into his life.

"The first week I was mindlessly driving, trying to find anywhere that felt like it might be a good place to start over, even if I knew it wasn't really going to work. I was in denial but it didn't keep me from missing you or wanting at every crossroads to turn back and say I was wrong."

Killian heard the earnestness in her voice, distorting the normally even tone so there was no denying her emotion. Killian pulled back, his hand coming to cup her cheek so he could look into her eyes and see all that she was feeling. She wasn't holding anything back this time and seeing that vulnerability that Emma allowed herself healed his own worry more than anything else could. All he ever wanted was for her to let him in and she was doing that now even if it terrified her.

"So what changed?" Emma gave a small smile that coupled hope with lingering regret.

"I found this little town in Maine and it seemed so perfect. It was the kind of place you see on a postcard and suddenly I wasn't canvassing for easy exits and places I could fly under the radar. I was thinking about putting down roots and what a simple life out there could look like, a life where I'm not the girl who runs, but the one who stays even when it's hard.

"But it wasn't possible for me to think that way without thinking about you. I kept picturing mornings sipping our coffee as we looked out into the water, and coming home to a big white house with the white picket fence to you. I saw our kids playing in the park there and building a tree house in the backyard. There were date nights and town events and holidays I never got to celebrate with anyone who loved me and all of it seemed possible there."

Killian didn't actually know what this place looked like of course. Aside from its location near the sea and its contrast to the bustling metropolis where they lived, he was left only with his imagination, but the way Emma talked about it it sounded like magic. As if she'd stolen the blueprint for this town from some sort of story where the heroes end up with happily ever afters and dark times and stress stayed far away.

"But you came back. You came back to me." Emma's hand clutched at his shirt as she nodded.

"Yes. I was fighting a losing battle. I was so close to finding a perfect place but it would never be home, not when the only home I could ever want was still here with you."

Her words consumed him, tugging at Killian's heart so forcefully that it took a moment to utter his reply. Emma had pictured a life like that for them even when running and she told him that he was her home just as she was his. If given the chance he would move everything he had to this little slice of heaven she'd found and build that exact life to her every specification. There was nothing Killian would ever want more than to see that dream achieved for him and Emma.

"You're my home too, Emma and I will follow you to the ends of the earth. Or to Maine as it would be."

Now Emma laughed, the tears she'd held back spilling as she did and Killian pressed gentle kisses to her face, promising her that it was all right. She seemed to believe him and as the droplets slowly decreased and he brought her back into his bedroom, holding her close to him, Killian felt the shift in both of them that told him pain like this would never come again. They'd learned their lesson and now were sure that life without the other was one they never wanted to face again.

"I love you, Killian." Emma whispered sometime later.

"And I love you, Emma. For everything you are."

….

 _Three Months Later_

"I think that's finally the last of it," Killian said after setting the final box labeled ' _kitchen'_ on the island countertop in his new home in Storybrooke. It had taken a five-hour drive and another few hours of moving their things from the truck to the house to get here, but finally the task was finished. Everything he and Emma had was here in the home they were creating together.

"Good. Now maybe I can get the relaxing trip I was promised instead of being subjected to manual labor."

Killian chuckled at Dave's joke because the man had been promised no such thing. When Killian and Emma asked David and Mary Margaret to help them, they had been pretty matter of fact in the description of this weekend and that plan always included a lot of hard work.

He took a look around the open space, seeing that the last of the day's light was peeking through the windows with a slightly golden tint. It made the house feel even warmer than it did on first inspection and he was excited to feel this way in this place every day from here on out. Killian was looking forward to a lot of happy moments here with his Swan and somehow he knew he wouldn't be disappointed.

Killian moved to the fridge, pulling from it's nearly empty inside two beers for him and Dave. One of them had a sticky note on it from Emma.

 _Sorry it isn't rum._

 _Your Emma_

He grinned at Emma's written jest and with steady hands he folded the note in half before tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans. Emma had taken to leaving notes like this all the time mostly to fill him in things, but often also just because she wanted to make him smile. She succeeded every time of course, and with every word she wrote him the lingering scar of her leaving without a word months back was healed. Killian smiled at the thought that he didn't even feel the pain of that time anymore as he handed the second beer to David.

The two friends moved out to the front porch, each taking in the view that this big white house afforded. The street before them was quiet with few people moving around, but the trees lining the property were big and tall, untouched for centuries, and Killian could hear the distant sound of waves from the ocean that they could see if they moved around the back of the house.

Yeah, this was perfect. Or at least it would be, as soon as Emma was back with him again. Until she returned though, Killian settled on retracing the steps they'd taken to get here starting with that night she'd changed both their lives forever by coming back to him.

After a few weeks spent mostly reconciling in the most pleasurable of ways imaginable, Killian convinced Emma to make the drive with him from New York to Storybrooke. This was the place that sparked her imaginings of what their life might be together and what he found upon arrival was a shared sense of rightness.

Emma had seen the potential here first, but Killian felt it just as strongly as if he'd held her hand in his when she happened upon this place in that time apart. The feeling of knowing that came struck immediately, and the only thing he'd been certain of at a faster rate was that Emma Swan would change his life in the moment that they first met.

Logistics called them both to stay in New York for a while more, but with enough well placed effort they found the means to change the direction of their lives from the hectic to and fro of the city to this land of quiet contentment further north. Now they were moved in to the house they'd chosen together and Emma was also wearing the engagement ring he'd given her a few weeks ago. Soon enough she'd be his wife, and all the other dreams she had would come to pass too. Killian was sure of it.

"When you first said you were moving to Maine I thought you were out of your damn mind, but I have to admit, this place has a certain appeal." Killian smirked at Dave's words.

"You think you and Mary Margaret will visit then." It wasn't a question so much as a rhetorical statement but Dave laughed.

"Visit? I think there's about a ninety nine percent chance that she'll hand me a real estate as soon as we get in the car to head home tomorrow. That is if I don't get it tonight when we go to bed."

"There are worse fates, mate." David nodded his head, surveying the same view as Killian and no doubt finding it to be as picturesque as he did.

"The question is are there any that could be better?"

At that moment Emma and Mary Margaret passed the hedgerow, coming into view with a meal from Emma's new favorite establishment, Granny's Diner. The laughter on her face and the sincere look of love she cast his way when her head tilted up set the same flutter of excitement through him that always came with Emma.

"Not a damn one." Killian moved from his spot on the porch to grab the bag from Emma despite her insistence that she could handle it, she handed it over to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek as she did.

They spent the rest of the evening enjoying the spoils of Emma and Mary Margaret's journey into the center of town even as the house around them remained in disarray. There was a lot to be done to build the life here that they wanted, but it didn't seem so daunting when Emma sat beside him, her hand in his and her head resting on his shoulder.

Later, after Mary Margaret and David excused themselves for the evening up into the guest room, Emma and Killian snuck away to one of their favorite parts about the house, the porch swing out back that set them up to look up at a sky filled with stars on a calm, mild night.

"Are you happy?" Emma asked softly from her spot beside him and Killian turned to face her, finding that she already knew the answer to the question she'd asked him more than once over the past few months.

"I am, love." She kissed him lightly before asking one last thing.

"And you still love me?"

"I still love you, Emma. For now and forever." 

"Good."

With that, Emma pulled him in for another kiss under the stars. That kiss and that promise signaled the start of the life they both so badly wanted and the happily ever after that could only ever come to two people meant to find each other. And in the end Emma and Killian's choice to side with hope instead of fear, and love instead of loneliness paved the way to a beautiful life that outshone any dream that came before or would ever be again.

…

 _She left without leavin' a number  
Said she needed to clear her mind  
He figured she'd gone back to Austin  
'Cause she talked about it all the time  
It was almost a year before she called him up  
Three rings and an answering machine is what she got_

 _If your callin' 'bout the car I sold it  
If this is Tuesday night I'm bowlin'  
If you've got somethin' to sell your wastin' your time, I'm not buyin'  
If it's anybody else wait for the tone you know what to do  
And P.S. if this is Austin I still love you_

 _The telephone fell to the counter  
She heard but she couldn't believe  
What kind of man would hang on that long  
What kind of love that must be  
She waited three days and then she tried again  
She didn't know what she'd say  
But she heard three rings and then_

 _If it's Friday night I'm at the ball game  
And first thing Saturday if it don't rain  
I'm headed out to the lake and I'll be gone all weekend long  
But I'll call you back when I get home on Sunday afternoon  
And P.S. if this is Austin I still love you_

 _Well this time she left her number  
But not another word  
When she waited by the phone on Sunday evening  
And this is what he heard_

 _If your callin' 'bout my heart it's still yours  
I should have listened to it a little more  
Then it wouldn't have taken me so long  
To know where I belong  
And by the way boy this is no machine your talkin' to  
Can't you tell this is Austin and I still love you_

 _I still love you_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you so much to my lovely reader who was patient in waiting for this update! This was a song I had never heard before, but the spirit of it lends itself so well to one of these mixtape chapters. This is a dynamic I think we've all gotten pretty used to where Emma is scared and Killian is patient/forgiving. It also gave me a means of working through some of my frustration at the continued dramatic nature of the show. I mean I love it, don't get me wrong, but fluff is just always so much sweeter in my opinion. Anyway thanks so much for reading and I hope you all have a good rest of your Monday!**_


	112. Better Man

_**A/N: Short, future one shot that takes place on Emma and Killian's ten-year wedding anniversary. Killian has the whole night planned but as per usual, things don't go the way that he expects them too. It's all cuteness and fluff though and in the end there are romantic words and implied smuff to match. Inspired by the song 'Better Man' by Marc Scibilia.**_

"Daddy, are we there yet?" Killian smiled widely at his daughter Hope's question as he shot a glance into the rearview mirror.

As he expected, Hope's face was largely obscured by a mess of chestnut curls, but when she pushed them back he saw her bright eyes, the same shade as Emma's and just as captivating to him. He hated to look back to the road, but he couldn't afford more than a second of observation. The biggest priority was keeping his family safe and even if he'd been driving for years, he didn't like to take chances.

"Nearly there, love. Just a minute more."

Hope sighed as if the wait was a torment but then she focused her attention on little Liam, her four-year-old brother. Killian heard them investing themselves in some imaginary game that their big brother Henry had showed Hope long ago, but it wasn't the words that took hold of Killian's heart. It was the affection in their tone and the carefree babbling of Emma and Killian's youngest, Charlotte, who was too young to engage in the same sort of storytelling.

How he and Emma had ever been so blessed as to have this family, Killian would never know but he was more than glad for it. Their love had brought three new heroes into the world who loved their parents and looked upon Henry with nothing short of adulation. They were spirited, brilliant, adorable and little monsters all rolled into one. In short he and Emma's children were a handful, but they were happy, well cared for, and currently en route to a night with their grandparents.

When the band of them finally pulled into the Charming family driveway, his children were sent into a tizzy. They were excited to see their cousins (or technically aunt and uncles) and their grandparents, and none of the Jones children were particularly taken with the concept of waiting, but wait they did until Killian came around to let them all out. Hope sprinted from the car onto the front lawn with Liam close on her heels as Charlotte let Killian carry her but motioned towards the others.

"Aye, little love, you'll get your chance too." Charlotte giggled and patted Killian's hair as she was prone to doing and he dropped a kiss to her cheek setting her off into the laughter again. Gods he was a lucky man, and he knew it every damn day.

"Daddy look at what Neal gave me!" Liam raced back over to Killian to show him a toy car. It looked exactly like all the other ones that Liam already had, but Killian didn't say that to his son. Instead Killian inspected it carefully before replying with sincerity of tone.

"Very impressive, son. Did you tell Neal thank you?"

Liam nodded and then was off making car noises and using his little bursts of magic to make the ordinary toy move about the yard itself. Killian looked on proudly, glad that his son was already showing such a control over his affinities. He was following in his older sisters footsteps without any worry at all that his magic was something to be feared. Killian and Emma had agreed from the start that acceptance would always triumph in this family, not doubt or regret.

Killian made his way up to Snow and Charming who were just in front of the house and he gave his in-laws a nod. However, before he could check in with them or thank them for watching the kids, Hope was interrupting with a query of her own.

"Is it here yet?" Killian raised a brow in question to Snow and watched as Emma's mother blushed slightly. That wasn't a particularly good sign and it reminded him of Emma's tendency to flush when she'd done something questionable.

"Is _what_ here?" Hope turned back to Killian with an excited smile.

"My bow and arrows, Daddy. I'm going to be a bandit just like Grandma!"

"Is that right." Killian looked back to Snow expectantly.

"Well not exactly, honey. You're going to be an _archer_. There's a difference." Hope looked critical for a second but then shrugged. Snow then turned back to Killian. "Regina enchanted the set. She can't hurt herself or the others with it."

"Alright then. As long as you're certain."

"I am, and I'm also sure that you are going to be late if you don't get a move on. Kids, say goodbye to your father."

"Love you Daddy!" Hope gave Killian a big hug and he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

"As I love you, lass." Liam immediately followed suit and then Killian dropped a similar kiss on Charlotte's blonde waves before handing her to Dave.

"You'll call if they need us." David smiled and made a jest at Killian's expense.

"No we'll keep you completely in the dark about anything that happens."

When Killian let out a low growl at the joke Dave laughed and promised everything would be fine. Killian took one last look at his children and nodded before heading back out. He had one final stop before picking up Emma and he had to be quick.

Strolling into Game of Thorns with purpose, Killian knew exactly what he needed from the flower shop. He'd been here many times before picking up flowers for Emma but still he was taken aback upon arrival this time. There standing behind the counter was Belle with a bright smile on her face as if this was a normal occurrence.

"I was wondering when you'd be showing up. Cutting it kind of close aren't you?" Belle knew most of Killian's plan this evening for Emma but his friend had left out her own appearance at this shop. Nevertheless she was right, and still he chose to question her rather than admit it.

"Considering a change to the family business?" Belle shook her head.

"No, no, no. My Dad just needed a little help is all, which is good for you because we just got a shipment I think would be perfect for Emma." Killian waited as Belle brought the flowers in question out and he immediately agreed. They were roses of course, but through some sort of magic they were nearly gold in color instead of the typical pink or red.

"An enchantment?" Belle shook her head.

"Science." Killian would have to take her word for it and he settled up the bill, taking the full dozen that Belle had as his friend laughed lightly at him.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"I was just going to ask you the same thing. You're shaking like it's your first date when you and Emma have been married for years."

"I am not." Belle merely bit back a smile at his retort and he sighed. "Perhaps I am a little nervous. I just want to make sure Emma has the night that she deserves. Things have been rather hectic as of late."

That was an understatement. Between things at the station and some hiccups in magical energies, it had been a few months of near chaos. Throw in the duties to their family and Emma's constant desire to help everyone and 'hectic' stopped doing the situation justice. Killian wouldn't trade this happy ending for anything but he did envision one night away from all the ruckus to spoil his wife and remind her why she'd chosen to love him at all.

"Things are always hectic and they always work out in the end. No matter what Emma loves you and she'll love tonight. That I can promise you."

Killian felt a little better with Belle's assurances but then he noticed the time and he cursed under his breath. He should already be on the way to pick up Emma, but as usual life had gotten in the way. He made his goodbyes and headed back out only for his blasted phone to start ringing.

"Yes?" It was hardly the way to greet whoever was calling, but Killian hadn't a care. He was already behind and this was just another pitfall on the road back to Emma.

" _Killian, this is Hugo. There's been a situation and the restaurant is closing for the night. I'm so sorry for the short notice, but it's a bit of an emergency."_

"What?!" Killian hadn't meant to yell, but it was hard not to. The whole theme of this evening was to recreate their first date and if the venue was not available where did that leave him?

The restaurant owner continued to apologize profusely but Killian hadn't the time. He knew it wasn't Hugo's fault but now he was working on the fly. He had to find something that meant more than going to Granny's for a cup of cocoa and a grilled cheese. In a town like Storybrooke that wasn't an easy feat and it certainly wouldn't come to pass without a little luck or at the very least some magic.

Unfortunately he had neither at his fingertips. He tried to reach Regina to see if she could help, but the Queen cited mayoral duties she couldn't get out of. Then Killian rushed over to the marina to see if he could set something up on the Jolly only to find that the damn harbor watchman had closed down the whole of the docks. Even if he and Emma used her magic to get on the ship, he'd have nothing ready for her.

"Bloody hell, this is a disaster!" Killian said the words aloud as his hand ran through his hair in frustration and just at that moment the _ping_ of a text sounded from his phone.

 _E: Are you coming home soon, or do I have to come and find you?_

Killian groaned, feeling defeated before he replied that he was on his way. He set out to the house outlining everything that he would say to his wife in apology. Somehow he would make this up to her, but for now things were stacked against them and all he could do was remind her that he loved her more than anything, and that to him Emma's happiness was the most important thing.

By the time he was moving up the steps of the house he had the whole speech thought out in his head. He'd begin with a little groveling and then make them a quiet dinner here. He was certain they had everything he would need, and then tonight he'd see to it that he satisfied every wish and want his love might have.

Unfortunately the second the door opened that speech flew out of his mind. All that he could see was Emma, and all he could think was that he was the single luckiest man alive to call this woman his wife. Emma's sparkling jade colored eyes were looking at him with adoration as her lips curled up in a smile. Her golden waves of hair cascaded around her shoulders and that dress – damn that dress was something out of his wildest fantasy. Red and fitted to perfection, Emma stole his breath away even as she left him hard and desperate for her.

"There you are. I was starting to worry." Killian struggled for a moment to find his words but eventually they came.

"You look stunning, my love."

Emma grinned at the endearment and the compliment before taking the flowers he held in front of him awkwardly. She closed her eyes briefly as she inhaled the scent of the fresh blossoms and then flicked her wrist so that they were presumably sent inside the house in a vase. The ease with which she controlled these powers now never ceased to amaze him, but they didn't hold a candle to Emma herself. Suddenly he remembered everything he wanted to say and the words were tumbling out into the space between them.

"Look, Swan, I want you to know that tonight I had all sorts of imaginings on how things would be. We were supposed to have our chance at our first date all over again. I was to be dashingly handsome and charming as ever, and you were going to be the same witty and beautiful woman who I get the honor of having as my wife every day."

"Sounds like a pretty nice night," Emma replied casually and Killian swallowed back the tightness in his throat.

"Aye. Well in typical Storybrooke fashion things sort of fell apart. One second we were destined for smooth sailing and the next the plan had been torn to shreds. But I swear to you Emma, I will fix it, maybe not tonight but very soon. I'll see to it that you get every good moment you deserve. I promise." Emma stepped closer, her hand resting on his chest lightly.

"Killian, it's really okay. I don't need all of that. I just need you." Killian shook his head. Even if he knew she believed that, he had to make her see that he saw things differently.

"That's the thing, love. You might not need it but I want you to have everything. I wanted you to have this romantic moment because then maybe you would see that I love you with everything I am. With the gesture you might start to understand that your power is more than your magic and your goodness – you have made me a better man at every turn. And today more than ever I wanted to be the man who gets things right and treats you well."

Emma's hand came to caress his cheek and without hesitation he leaned into the feeling. Her soft hands sparked more of that calm that seemed so far away only seconds ago and then he listened as she replied.

"There is never a day when you aren't that man, Killian. At any given moment I am always positive that you love me and our family more than anything and that is all I could ever want. You have always been and you will always be more than enough for me. You're my happy ending, remember?"

Killian was about to contradict her and she shook her head, cutting him off before he could.

"Look, Killian, our most romantic moments aren't dinners and dates. They're the mornings when you wake me up with that roguish smile and a kiss, and the dinners where you get the kids to talk about their day. It's the nights that you pull me out on this porch to look up at the stars, and the countless ways you say that you love me. It's falling asleep in your arms every night, and knowing that no matter what you'll be right here beside me for all of my tomorrows.

"And yes, you might be a better man because of what we have, but I'm a better woman too. We work because we lift each other up and give each other hope. So have a little faith and believe that tonight is still going to be perfect, even if it didn't all go to plan. We're together and that's the most important thing."

"You're right, my love, as always."

Emma smiled again, pulling him into a kiss, and he felt the subtle breeze that tended to come when she used her magic to transport them. When she pulled back from the embrace his eyes remained on her but then she looked away and he followed soon after. Only then did Killian realize that she'd set things up in the backyard that definitely were not there when he left with the kids earlier. Suddenly it dawned on him that all of his roadblocks might not be of a strictly organic nature.

"Couldn't help but have a little fun with this, could you love?" Emma smiled shaking her head as she took his hand and led him to the table.

"It seemed like a funny idea at the time. I didn't realize you'd get so worked up. Forgive me?" Killian kissed her surely.

"There's nothing to forgive, Emma."

"So I shouldn't promise to make it up to you all night long?" Killian's whole body warmed at the sultry innuendo and it was hard not to be aware of the fact that they'd be without the children tonight. It would just be him and Emma and this great big house. He rather liked the idea and all the possibility it hinted to.

"Well I didn't say that, love."

Emma laughed and it filled him with so much joy when she did. That sound would never not mean the world to him, and the smile on her face and the lack of tension in her features was the greatest gift of all. They were happy in this moment and they would continue to be happy together for a very long time if he had anything to say about it.

Emma looked like she was about to flick her wrist to set their table, but Killian surprised her by grasping at her hand. She stilled immediately and he brought it up to kiss gently. Her responding look was one of warmth and true felicity.

"I love you, Emma. Every day I fall in love with you a little more and I know that will never change."

"It's the same for me." Killian smiled and watched as Emma's resolve shattered in an instant. "Screw it, dinner can wait."

With that Emma _poofed_ them back into their bedroom and the night unfolded off the track of both their plans. They ended up with an evening they didn't anticipate but both preferred – one spent totally wrapped up in each other and in the love they shared. And even when the morning came and reality set back in, neither Killian nor Emma had any resentments. This was, after all, the future they'd been fighting for made real and it was everything they ever could have hoped for.

…

 _I'm a small man, next to a tall man_ _  
_ _But baby I'm old man, when I am with you_ _  
_ _And i'm a fool man, compare to a school man_ _  
_ _But I feel so enlighten, just studying your smile_ _  
_ _And I dont care how small I stand_ _  
_ _I dont plan on measure it_ _  
_ _Cuz when you love me as I am_ _  
_ _Baby I am a better man_ _  
_ _And I am a frail man, ain't no fairy tale man_ _  
_ _But because you accept than_ _  
_ _I almost forget that I am bruised and i am broken_ _  
_ _And I'm an exposed man, though i do some composing_ _  
_ _I ain't got 5-10 years plan_ _  
_ _And I ain't got no, no back pocket, baby_ _  
_ _And it dont matter where I've been, where I wasn't going_ _  
_ _Cuz when you love me where I am_ _  
_ _Baby I'm a better man_ _  
_ _You love me the way I am_ _  
_ _For reasons I do not understand_ _  
_ _And your love is so much better than_ _  
_ _The kind of things I've learned_ _  
_ _Now I don't care how small I stand_ _  
_ _Don't plan on compare it_ _  
_ _Cuz you have love me just as I am_ _  
_ _And that makes me a... better man_ _  
_ _And I'm a small man, next to a tall man_ _  
_ _But baby I'm old man_ _  
_ _When I'm with you..._

 _ **Post-Note: Hit myself smack dab in the feels with this one, not gonna lie. I have been feeling the future domestic CS oneshots recently and this seemed like a natural progression of that. This song is also so fantastic and as soon as I heard it I knew a chapter like this was coming soon. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you liked the fluff!**_


	113. Carry Me

_**A/N: Future CS fic where Emma wakes up from a dream she can't fully remember but she knows was good. In that moment she realizes it's been ages since she's had any of her usual nightmares that flashback to her childhood. In fact, she can't remember a single one any night that she's been in Killian's arms. Devolves into smut because I am shameless (so rated M). Inspired by 'Carry Me' by Kygo ft. Julia Michaels.**_

Stirring awake from a dream she couldn't quite remember, surrounded by the darkness that clung to the world in the wee hours of the morning, Emma felt a sense of peace and warmth. Whatever images or stories had transpired in her mind tonight had been happy ones. She might not recall every detail, but the hope was still clinging to her and the light of whatever dream had been there remained.

Actually, now that Emma looked around she wondered if her magic hadn't manifested slightly in her sleep. The light of the moon seemed more illuminating than ever with its soft pale tone and she could see far better than she expected given the earliness of the hour. There was an aura in here that was tangible but good, and it felt like home but heightened.

The defining factor of her current state of being though came from the man beside her. Killian was still asleep, but even so he held onto her without any sign of letting her go, trying even when unaware to keep her safe and protected. His love for her was evident, the hint of a smile at his lips told Emma he was truly feeling peace right now and she liked the proof that they were in this together.

For the first time in her life, Emma felt like she had enough of the answers. She knew what mattered most in this world and she had abandoned the once persistent fear of saying yes to love. In doing so she saw that strength and happiness spilling over into every section of her world, and through her ability to have hope and to choose happiness she saw the people who mattered the most able to do the same.

Henry for one was excited for life and adjusting well to their new normal despite all the tensions and stressors kids his age faced and the irregularities of his upbringing. Her kid was brilliant, and loyal, and strong, but he still bore the same heart underneath it all. After everything they'd seen and been through Henry continued to care for people, still believed that good could win any fight, and he let Emma love him and loved her back in a way that was more powerful than any magic.

Meanwhile her parents were finally getting the chance to breathe, claiming a moment to just be after years of constant struggle and turmoil. They were making memories with Neal and Emma both, ones that had been torn away by curses and quests for revenge and they were finally given a taste of what happily ever after might look like. Yes, they still had responsibilities, heroes always would, but they managed and Emma watched as years of stress and tension slowly left them and her friends like Belle and Regina as well.

That left Killian, who through some power only he could ever wield was finding new ways every day to make Emma believe that she deserved all of this and that by being together they could stake out the future they both so badly wanted. At every turn he was there with her, stable, dependable, and determined to see her happy. He fought for her and for them but he did it in a way that spoke to how much he loved her.

Killian understood Emma and all that she was. He saw every crack in the foundations, every flaw hidden behind her walls and loved them all anyway. He embraced the lost girl, the savior, and the woman that she was underneath all that. He _knew_ her, he saw her, and he lived for her. Only that kind of devotion and certainty could ever begin to heal the most ugly scars of her past. Killian left no room for doubt that he needed Emma, and to no longer feel unwanted after a majority of life knowing nothing else was in every way a miracle.

If Archie had taught her anything since she'd started seeing him months ago it was that traumas from the past didn't just disappear, not even when you were facing new ones every day. For a long time after first coming to Storybrooke and finding her family Emma still woke up in cold sweats or with a pounding pulse. Most mornings brought a throbbing headache, not from lack of sleep, but from the emotional turmoil that sleep often brought. Flashbacks of being little, helpless, and alone always lurked even in the brightest moments, but it had been a really long time since she'd had such a morning.

Thinking back now Emma realized that those dreams of abandonment had all but disappeared. Not every night was peaceful, and sometimes she still woke up in the clutch of a bad feeling or crying something out, but that came from the times and problems that they lived in. Savior issues caused Savior dreams, and when they came Killian was there right beside her with gentle words and a soft touch that steadied the lingering unease.

And some nights Emma needed more than soft assurances. She required a reminder that she and Killian were together and alive, and on those nights he knew instinctively what she wanted. He always delivered the exact kind of love that she wished for and then he gave her a simple look, the one that read her like a book to see if she still needed to talk. Sometimes she did, other times she found the worries fading fast enough to just let go.

But none of Emma's bad dreams in the many months since they'd moved in together pulled her back to that state of being completely alone in the world. Emma smiled at the realization, looking at Killian now wanting to figure out a way to thank him for that. He'd mended a part of her that for years had been raw and exposed and fragile and he didn't even know it. All he'd had to do was love her and a long-time burden had been carried away.

"There is nothing in this world I love more than your smile, Swan, but the sun's not due for hours yet. You should be asleep."

Emma should have known he was awake since he rarely slept through moments when she was up, but she'd been caught up in her own thoughts and missed the tell tale signs. When his eyes opened though, blinking away his own sleepy haze her smile only grew. She didn't bother asking knowing how he could tell she'd been smiling. Call it a uniquely Killian gift.

"I love you." Killian returned her smile then, pulling her closer to him as he did.

"And I love you, Emma. More than anything."

Killian closed his eyes again, failing in his attempt to fend off sleep after seeing she was happy and safe and that there were no troubles to face in this moment. Emma meanwhile felt her heart soaring at his attentiveness, she'd felt his thorough examination checking that she was truly all right, and only when he found everything was okay did he himself find comfort.

"You should ask me soon." Killian yawned, eyes still closed as he pulled her further against him.

"Ask you what, love?"

"To marry you." His eyes popped open at that and Emma bit her lip to keep from laughing. That had certainly done the trick of waking him up.

"Is that right?" Emma nodded, raw excitement pulsing through her as she did.

"It's about time, don't you think?"

Killian looked at her for a beat, the blue of his eyes piercing into her, as if he was trying to really see if she meant it. Her walls were down with Killian as they always were now, and Emma hoped that he saw she had never been more serious about anything. It might be a strange time to have the conversation but the truth was this was what she wanted, and she'd wanted this next step for a while now.

"I should have known." Emma tilted her head to the side, curious at the answer.

"Should have known what?"

"That this realization would strike you in a moment that leaves a few things to be desired."

Emma laughed at his response because he was right. She really could not have chosen a more bizarre time and that was saying something. But Emma could tell he wasn't angry or disappointed. If anything Killian found it humorous, and she could see actual excitement underneath the surface and a significant amount of hope as well.

"Okay so maybe it's not the best timing."

"Aye. Four in the morning isn't the most conducive hour to ask the woman you love for forever." Emma smiled, running her hand across his chest.

"So don't ask me. I just meant you _should_ at some point… when you're ready." Killian's hand came to cup her face, his blue eyes bright with emotion as he did.

"I've been ready for you forever, Swan." Emma felt her chest tighten.

"But as per usual you've been waiting on me."

The guilt of that began to eat at her and the trickling of doubt that sometimes came when she had to face her continuing hesitations reared its head. Yet Killian wouldn't let her slip into that way of thinking. Instead he tilted her chin towards him so she met his gaze once more.

"It is no hardship to be patient when it comes to you, Emma. You love me and I know that. Everything else will happen when it should."

She was about to tease him by reiterating her first point of it happening _soon_ but then he distracted her in a far better way with his lips brushing over hers. The kiss that started light and moved to so much more all too quickly. Suddenly Emma's only thoughts were that he was right; everything would happen when it happened and for now they had this, roaming hands, heated kisses and a slew of whispered pleas for more when he came above her bringing his mouth down her jaw and to her neck.

"And to think you were going to go back to sleep." Killian growled against her pulse point and the vibration at that sensitive spot made Emma squirm beneath him. She was reaching for more, clawing for any kind of friction she could get, but Killian had his own ideas, taking the lead and leaving Emma breathless in the process.

This wasn't a hard and fast initiative, but a languid mapping of every part of her body. Killian knew every spot that made her heart flutter and her sex tighten, but as he traced with slow, even, frenzy-inducing grazes with his hand and mouth he gave himself away. Emma knew from experience that Killian got this way when he was feeling exceptionally strongly. She also knew that he was about to dazzle her completely.

By the time his mouth came down to take a nipple in a long hard suck, Emma was moaning aloud thankful that they were alone tonight in the house to pursue this. Her responses only fueled him further and Emma could see in his eyes when he pulled back that he was driven by a need to see her satisfied and to watch her fall apart. When he pressed his thumb against her clit in a tantalizing twirl, she fell over the edge calling out his name.

As Emma came down from the high, she heard him murmur words of love and appreciation against her stomach. She could feel the scruff along his jaw and the slight scratch against her bare flesh that set her burning hotter. Then he was gazing between her legs, forcing them apart so wide that she was completely exposed to him. He pulled her hips up for better access and teased her with one long swipe that ended with a swirl at her clit giving just the right amount of pleasure.

" _Fuck,_ Killian!"

Emma felt him grin against her (delighting by the sound of that curse on her no doubt), before he picked up the pace and made her already sensitive flesh crave more. Her hands came to run through his hair trying to get him right where she needed him but she needn't have bothered. Killian read her body better than anyone ever had, sending her back to bliss again in the best possible way with a few well-placed sucks and flicks of his tongue.

"The only thing that compares to your smile, Swan, is that look right there."

Emma hummed out a reply, liking the way he was so clearly towing the line of control. His hand moved through the mussed up tendrils of her blonde hair as his eyes burned with their own need. She could only imagine what he was seeing right now. She was nearly spent, hovering in an orgasm-induced state of sedation and probably flush with all those incredible sparks he set off in her.

"What's it telling you?" Killian grinned.

"That you love me and all the pleasure I can bring you." Emma pretended to consider and watched his brow rise in skepticism, but she took his distraction in stride, pushing him back so she could straddle above him taking him by surprise for once.

"You forgot the most important part." Her hand trailed down his chest onto the hard planes of his abs and Emma could see Killian's muscles tighten with anticipation.

"Did I?" The thickness in his voice mingled with his accent made her close her eyes for a second. God he was hot. How was he somehow hers?

"Mhmm." Emma took his length in hand pulling a groan from him.

"And what exactly was that, Swan?"

"That this is forever. I'm always going to feel the way I do now. I'm always going to want you just like this. I'll always love you, Killian."

Killian's eyes shone with so much warmth, and the swirling shades of blue blended together so beautifully that Emma felt she could fall right into them. Instead she chose to give them both the satisfaction of caving to what they wanted. Emma lowered herself onto his hard shaft and reveled in his curses and quickly unraveling control. She was right there with him, reaching for that same climax too hard and fast and with a fervor that couldn't be denied before they both found completion together.

Such a state of love gave way of course to sleep, for Killian had been right at the start – it was way too early to be starting a day. But hours later, when Emma woke finally at a more reasonable time, when the sun was out and birds were chirping, she noticed that Killian was gone. In his place, amidst the ruffled but cool sheets, was a note.

 _Find me in the garden._

Emma smiled, taking a second to trace over the gentle cursive script before jumping out of bed and hurrying through her morning routine. Her excitement was barely contained and she practically ran down the porch steps and around the house, but when Emma made it to the back yard she was struck speechless. The normal, ordinary space she knew was completely transformed, and from the plainness there was a magical scene with hundreds of flowers each one more impossibly beautiful than the last.

"There you are, love."

Emma looked from the scene before her to Killian who looked as handsome as ever and sported a smile that made her heart rate kick into overdrive. He stepped towards her, closing the distance until barely any remained. Then Killian took her hand in his, their fingers intertwining and finally Emma found command of her words again.

"All of this can't possibly be thanks to your green hook," Killian chuckled at her joke.

"No not exactly, Swan. But it is an attempt to recreate a good moment, and to show you what you mean to me. What you'll always mean."

"It's beautiful, I love it." Killian smiled sincerely at that, his thumb brushing over her knuckles in a soft, soothing way that spoke to their special sort of intimacy.

"You know, a miraculous woman who I love with everything I am recently informed me that the time for a certain question has come. She was right of course as she so often is, but I'll be damned if I deny us both this moment."

Emma laughed lightly and looked back around at all the roses, remembering that field in Camelot and all the good and bad it brought her. They were past those burdens now, through that pain already, and all that remained was the picture perfect quality that these flowers held the first time around.

She only looked away a second, maybe two, but it was enough time for Killian to drop down to one knee and to make Emma happier with one gesture than she could even begin to say. The rational part of her knew it was coming but still the wave of emotions washed over her. This was their chance, and it was just as magical as she'd known he would make it. It was magnificent, big, completely one of a kind, and utterly and totally them.

"Yes."

The word was out of Emma's mouth before Killian had so much as opened his and he looked shocked for a moment before he rose back up to full height and pulled her to him for a kiss. It took a minute before either of them pulled away, but when they did their foreheads rested together and Killian smiled in that way he saved only for her in their happiest moments.

"Emma Swan, will you marry me?" She giggled – she Emma Swan actually giggled.

"Yes, Killian Jones, I most definitely will."

Her pirate then slipped the diamond ring that he'd procured onto her finger, but Emma barely had a chance to look at it. Instead she threw herself into making this memory with the man she truly loved, and the two of them walked together into their future where they both would live happily ever after.

….

 _Like a kid and her teddy bear  
Like a leaf blowing in the air  
Could you carry me?  
Could you carry me?_

 _Like a flag after a war  
When you're gone or when you're first born  
Could you carry me?  
Could you carry me?_

 _'Cause I don't know how we  
How we got so far, you and me  
Almost like there's oceans between us, us  
So I need to know_

 _Could you carry me?  
Back into your heart again  
Could you carry me?  
Right into your distant hands  
Could you carry me?  
Right back where we started from  
Could you carry me?_

 _On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on, could you carry me?  
Back to where we started from_

 _'Member when we would dance all night  
Parking lots and velvet skies  
I was there for you  
And you were there for me_

 _Every time we would start a fight  
We'd make love 'til the morning light  
I was there for you  
And you were there for me_

 _So I don't know how we  
How we got so far, you and me  
Almost like there's oceans between us, us  
So I need to know_

 _Could you carry me?  
Back into your heart again  
Could you carry me?  
Right into your distant hands  
Could you carry me?  
Right back to where we started from  
Could you carry me?_

 _On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on, could you carry me?  
Back to where we started from_

 _On, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on, could you carry me?  
Back to where we started from_

 _On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on and on, on, on, on  
On and on, could you carry me  
Back to where we started from_

 _ **Post-Note: Some days (okay every day) I just need to write some CS cuteness. Even though I had like zero time and the day has up and run away with me, I had to get some fluff down to counter act the fact the it's rainy and getting colder. What better way to do that than with proposal smuff, right? Anyway hope you guys enjoyed and thanks for reading.  
**_


	114. Coffee

_**A/N: Shameless short domestic CS moment where Emma wakes up from a dream about Killian and finds him downstairs already greeting the day by making them both breakfast. Yes, it's as basic and smuffy as it sounds and no I do not regret my choices despite the fact that I just wrote a similar chapter last installment. Inspired by the song 'Coffee' by Grace and rated M for 'this Monday needed some freaking smut.'**_

" _I love you, Emma."_

 _The words were whispered against her neck and set Emma's whole body humming with even more desire for Killian. She closed her eyes, trying to take in the way this felt, having Killian with her in this bed – in_ their _home – dedicating his time and attentions to driving her crazy with wanting him._

" _I love you too, but -," Killian nipped at her pulse point and Emma's breath caught, distracting her from what she was about to say._

" _But_ what _, Swan?" Emma groaned at the cockiness in his voice and she felt him smile against the spot he'd just laved with his tongue. His hand trailed lower down her body, leaving zings of pleasure in its wake._

" _But you're teasing me and I thought we agreed we weren't doing that tonight."_

 _Killian chuckled and the sound reverberated through her setting the coils of lust low in her gut spiraling tighter together. His mouth moved lower, hovering just above her breast and Emma was anxiously awaiting something, anything to dull the ache that was holding onto her like a vice. Still he held back almost toying with her._

" _Perhaps I've changed my mind."_

" _Killian!" He chuckled again before coming back up to kiss her and then pulling back._

" _Fine, Swan. Hard and fast now and then I get the rest of the night to have my way with you." Emma smiled herself, knowing she'd won. Killian never could seem to deny her anything that she wanted and Emma loved that. She also loved that getting her way right now pretty much ensured a perfect night._

" _Deal." Emma knew she was seconds away from that feeling of completion that only came with Killian and she could hardly wait. It was all she wanted, all she needed and -_

The shrillness of an alarm cut through the fantastically satisfying dream Emma had just been having. Well maybe it wasn't a dream so much as an unconscious replaying of last night with Killian, but still the warmth and peace she'd had only seconds ago was jolted back by the offending beeps until Emma shut the alarm off and then let out a groan. Her hand came to cover her eyes as she tried to will that gorgeous memory back, but it was too late. Sleep was done for, at least this morning.

Now that she was awake, Emma turned over in bed finding that it was empty. She wasn't exactly surprised so to speak, but she was a little remiss at the fact that she couldn't entice her pirate into making a new memory this morning. Then again they didn't really have the time. She had to get to the station and Killian was working on something with Belle today at the library that he'd been roped into. Still, Emma thought herself totally capable of convincing him to rescind his offer if given the right inducement.

Instead Emma rushed through her morning routine before heading down the stairs to find Killian at the stove making breakfast for the two of them. He made for a pretty picture to be sure and Emma smiled, loving the domesticity of these little moments. They'd had plenty since moving in together, but every one was meaningful. This was what they'd been fighting for forever, and to finally have a chance at it was amazing.

"Like what you see, Swan?"

Killian shot the question over to her without so much as a glance her way and Emma blushed, knowing she was caught. He could always sense her presence, which she sometimes found annoying, but it was hard to stay frustrated when he looked up at her from the breakfast he was making for the two of them. His blue eyes shone with all the love in his heart and his smile told Emma he was just as happy and as peace as she was. Seeing that joy in the man she loved left Emma feeling lighter than ever.

"Depends. Are those pancakes?"

"They are, but you and I both know that was not the object of my query." Emma laughed, coming forward to press a soft kiss to his lips and leaning into him as she did.

"Yes I _love_ what I see. Happy?" He grinned again.

"Blissfully so." Emma rolled her eyes but she felt the same way even if she wasn't as overt with it as Killian.

Emma stepped over to the coffee maker where a pot had already been brewed courtesy of Killian and she diverted herself for a moment with fixing a cup before turning back to face him. Emma took a long pull of the necessary drink and moaned aloud, feeling the impact of that first taste on her morning. If she was going to get through the day of station paperwork and small problems that kept cropping up in this down time between bad guys, she'd need the caffeine.

"Careful there, love." Emma's eyes flashed back to him curiously and she tilted her head.

"I put cream in here. It's not that hot." Killian looked at her and Emma saw the hunger in his gaze. All at once it clicked that he wasn't worried about her beverage temperature.

"That's not what I meant."

Emma's heart fluttered at the insinuation and the way his tone dipped low. Killian made any one else's attempts at a bedroom voice seem tame. He had the power to ignite all the need in Emma just with those words of his and right now she couldn't help but think of all the things they could do with their morning instead of what was expected. And really, it wouldn't be _so_ bad if they were late, right?

"What _did_ you mean?"

Killian turned off the burner and came towards her, closing all the space between them until his arms were wrapped around her. Emma's eyes widened but she couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips. It was nice to see Killian so enraptured with her. For so long she'd shied away from love like this but now it was one of the best things she knew in this world.

"I meant that you, my love, are playing with fire and there's only so much temptation a man can take." Emma licked her lips and watched as his blue eyes tracked the motion. The low growl that emanated from his chest was the final straw. Without so much as a look to where she was putting her mug, Emma placed it on the counter and pulled Killian closer.

"Maybe you should stop fighting it and just go for what you want then."

Killian didn't need to be told twice and his lips crashed down to hers until they were totally intertwined. All thoughts of leaving for other commitments were completely gone and instead there was a frenzied flash of movements designed to get them both to satisfaction as soon as possible. Emma probably could have used her magic to get them upstairs and naked in the blink of an eye, but why deny herself the chance to see Killian this way, riled up and honed in on her.

"Are all our safeguards in place, Swan?" he asked as he pulled her closer from where she'd sat upon the wooden tabletop. Emma flicked her wrist and ensured that the magic around the house was put in place. There would be no unanticipated run-ins on interruptions.

"They are now."

Killian grinned setting forth to make a morning so much better than she dared to picture when she'd woken up this morning. All the same flutters of desire and need came rearing up again as Killian paid special attention to every trigger point on her body. His hand and hook were driving her mad while his mouth skimmed from her lips, down her jaw and to her neck again. The shirt she'd chosen for the day was gone soon enough and her jeans shed to the ground soon after, but when Emma complained that he was lagging behind, she got the best show possible, with Killian exposing more and more of himself with each article of clothing he sent to the ground.

"Better, Swan?" She nodded, running her hands along Killian's skin and delighting in the clear arousal on his part too. He was all hard lean muscle and the tightness in his stance told Emma he was fighting for control. They were in the thick of this lust together, partners in their attraction as much as they were in everything else.

Despite the time crunch they should have been feeling, Killian took his time, bringing Emma closer and closer to the edge of the bliss that she wanted first with his hand and then his mouth trailing lower. By the time his tongue traced against her sex, Emma was panting and unable to hold back any of her reactions. He was a master at this and the openness and freedom of this moment was dizzying. They never could have this before when they were fighting bad guys at all hours of the day, but now things were different. Life was on its way to – dare she say it? – normalcy.

The thought along with her pirate's continued demonstration of his significant amount of skill had Emma tumbling over into a climax far sooner than expected, but Killian was hardly done, trailing out from her sex with bites and nips against her inner thigh before heading back in and working her up again. When Emma thought to call out and tell him that she couldn't take any more he moved up and in one single motion thrust inside her.

Curse after curse fell from his lips at the impact and if Emma wasn't so gone herself and letting a few choice words of her own fly she'd laugh. Killian on the edge like this was a sight, but the feeling between them was too all consuming to let go of. Instead she pulled him down to her for another kiss, tasting herself on his tongue and bucking closer so they could both find another release together. When Emma felt him getting close she pulled back and granted him the words she knew he needed.

"I love you, Killian. Always." That was all it took for him to get them both to that state of gone that came with such intense pleasure and in the aftermath they were spent together in the kitchen, grinning at each other like a couple of love sick idiots. Not that Emma cared; it was fast becoming an accurate description of the dynamic between them.

"We are so definitely behind schedule now, Swan."

"But was it worth it?" Killian laughed aloud before kissing her and helping her off the table, still holding her in his arms.

"There are few tortures on this earth that would not be worth the chance at such a moment with you, Emma." She blushed, liking the compliment and knowing it was ridiculous that they could just have this kind of interlude on the kitchen table of all places but this was what made her flush.

"Good thing that the moments come free of charge then." Killian smiled, running his hand along her cheek.

"So it is, love. So it is."

With that the two of them hurried through getting ready (again) to greet their days, and fifteen minutes later when Emma came back to the kitchen and made sure everything was just as it was before their Monday morning moment, she noticed her abandoned coffee on the counter. Now it didn't seem as necessary as it had before, for she'd have these memories and the promise of tonight to get her through the day, but still she zapped the cup with a little magic to warm it up and brought it with her as a sort of reminder of the happy life she had now with the man who truly loved her.

…

 _Kinda hot in the kitchen, yeah_

 _My cup is already half full_

 _It's the taste that I'm feeling_

 _No milk and two sugar if that's cool_

 _Can't sleep when it's late_

 _But that ain't a complaint_

 _And nobody can keep it like you (Oh, oh)_

 _So good, I can taste it_

 _But you're gone, I crave it_

 _Nobody can make it like you (Oh, oh)_

 _By the time you're leaving (yeah)_

 _I'm begging you to stay (yeah yeah)_

 _And if you leave, I'd only get it in your way_

 _You can keep me needing_

 _Even when I am awake_

 _But the coffee never tastes the same, yeah_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _I drink so much, I guess they call it love_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _You keep me up, I just can't get enough_

 _It's 3 AM in the morning_

 _And never been so lonely_

 _I just wanna wake up to you (you)_

 _And you could be that, you could be the one that I'm needing_

 _Honey, just let them be your_

 _Can't sleep when it's late_

 _But that ain't a complain_

 _And nobody can keep it like you (Oh, oh)_

 _So good, I can taste it_

 _But you're gone, I crave it_

 _Nobody can make it like you (Oh, oh)_

 _By the time you're leaving (yeah)_

 _I'm begging you to stay (yeah yeah)_

 _And if you leave, I'd only get it in your way_

 _You can keep me needing_

 _Even when I am awake_

 _But the coffee never tastes the same, yeah_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _I drink so much, I guess they call it love_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _You keep me up, I just can't get enough_

 _Oh my suger-sweet, I wanted to say_

 _I really really need you to stay_

 _You're my sugar-sweet, I wanted to say_

 _You're the only way to start my day_

 _(Oh oh oh)_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _I drink so much, I guess they call it love_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _You keep me up, I just can't get enough_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _I drink so much, I guess they call it love_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _My babe, my baby_

 _You keep me up, I just can't get enough_

 _ **Post-Note: So I have been meaning to add this song to the mixtape for a really long time, but today just seemed like the day. It's cold where I live and it was a long, boring Monday. What better way to fix that then with some cuteness and smut? Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the CS coffee and thanks as always for reading!**_


	115. In Common

_**A/N: In honor of the Dark Hollow anniversary this week I ended up doing a rewrite (with scenes from 3x06 and 3x07). It includes my typical self-indulgent kind of fluff where Emma is more honest with her feelings before it was cannon in the show and then there's a kiss of course because I'm hopeless. Inspired loosely on 'In Common' by Alicia Keys because the beat and the sentiment both remind me of early CS.**_

Emma had tasted little but despair and heartbreak since setting foot on this island, it was truly that simple. Meandering through this jungle of doom and gloom was a study in self-doubt and old baggage. She needed to find Henry, more than anything she needed to find her son, but the getting there was so incredibly hard. Pan was a monster, a demon in every meaning of the word, and he was winning.

But sometimes he wasn't. There were moments, very rare instances when the darkness of this place and the sinister nature of Neverland didn't eat away at Emma and the person behind those moments was as unexpected as he was unpredictable.

 _Why did I kiss him? That was so stupid, feeding into his hand like that._ Emma's inner voice had been chastising her actions for hours now. Pretty much since the moment she'd pulled away from Hook's embrace, because that kiss it was…something. On an island where hope was nothing but a dying ember, that kiss had felt like a fire, like light in its truest form.

It had also been hot, problematically so. Emma should never have been in a situation where she was that wound up when her son was missing, but her infuriating body wasn't getting it together. She would think of that kiss and her lips would tingle. She could still taste the rum, and a flavor that had been entirely Hook. It was driving her crazy, because Emma was not the kind of person to feel this much. A lifetime alone had taught her how to push emotions away. Denial came easy, but not right now. Not in the face of that kiss.

Now they were trekking through the jungle on the way to find Neal because that was exactly what her life was filled with now: emotional turmoil and past pain coming to haunt her. First Pan made her admit she was an orphan, now her first love, the only guy she'd ever actually let past her walls was back. It made Emma's head hurt while her heart clenched in her chest painfully.

Neal was stress in human form for her, a constant reminder of betrayal and undone trust. He was the physical manifestation of the wound she'd suffered at his hand. Yes, she was more than grateful now that he'd given her Henry, but their past was fraught with emotional land mines. And somehow the only moments Emma wasn't consumed with that pain, the only time the sting of Neal's years ago abandonment wasn't slicing through her like a knife along with all the other crap on this island, was when she thought of that damn kiss.

More out of desperation than anything else Emma found herself looking to vent and to share even a little bit of what was going on in her head. Maybe if she said the words she'd find some peace, and the only person who she could even begin to consider saying this to was Mary Margaret. She only hoped her mother would be cool, maybe drop the 'I'm your Mom' thing for just a second and be a friend, a sounding box and not a source of judgment.

Emma looked back over her shoulder to check that Hook was far enough behind not to overhear. He was thankfully looking elsewhere, and Emma quickly moved up to Mary Margaret to try and say this.

"I kissed him." Emma's whispered words hung there for a minute.

"What? Who?" Mary Margaret was completely oblivious. Well that was good, at least Emma didn't have a giant sign on her forehead reading _'I kissed Captain Hook and liked it.'_

"Hook. I kissed Hook." Emma felt the trace of what may or may not be butterflies in her stomach. Oh God this was not good.

"Oh! Well… why?" Wasn't that the question of the hour? If Emma had an actual answer to that, she would never have opened her mouth in the first place.

"I-I don't know. I-I was… It's been a while. I was feeling good. I don't know."

What Emma left unsaid was that she was feeling good not only because she'd got in touch with Henry but because of Hook himself. Hook was proving his loyalty and that he was actually on her side. He had saved David because he was Emma's father, but it was more than that.

Hook was just always right there, with a smile and a joke even in the midst of all of this. He read her needs better than anyone else in this troop of heroes and whether he offered rum or some sort of council with that maddening and distracting accent, he helped her. He was a positive in her life right now and Emma wasn't sure how she'd let that happen.

"Did it mean anything?" _Yes_.

"It was just a kiss." Emma must have seemed convincing from Mary Margaret's reply.

"I'm sure Neal will understand." Emma rolled her eyes, guards coming back up again.

"This wasn't about Neal."

"Emma, I get what you're doing you know. You don't want to open yourself up to the hope that he's alive, but you should."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve a happy ending and happy endings always start with hope."

"Neal isn't that."

Mary Margaret looked confused at Emma's adamant denial and Emma herself was surprised at her urge to talk about that part of the story. Up to this point she hadn't been very forthcoming with her past with Neal. Because of that, her parents looked at him as a big romantic figure in Emma's life who represented a bright future. If they knew everything, she doubted they'd be so accepting.

"But you love him."

"Sometimes love isn't enough. My history with Neal, it's not happy… and it's not the kind of thing you come back from. It's not the kind of love that makes you feel good." Understanding crossed Mary Margaret's eyes.

"But that kiss did." Emma was silent, and her mother pulled them off the path for a minute.

"I don't love Hook." Emma said, feeling a wave of anxiety just at the thought that this was love, that she would ever even get close to that kind of emotion with anyone.

"No of course not, and maybe it was just a kiss, Emma, and that would be okay. The only thing that matters is that you find what's right for you. Right now that's Henry." Emma nodded.

"Henry always comes first."

"Our children always do. So we stick with the plan. Find Neal, find a way off this island, and then when you have a second to catch your breath, you follow the happy. Follow the things that bring you hope. Whatever and whoever that may be."

"Thanks. That was actually… helpful."

Mary Margaret gave Emma a hopeful look. She appeared so joyous to have given Emma any sort of comfort, but before she could say anymore, the others were upon them and the mission was back at the forefront. Little did Emma know though that the so much more would soon come to light, influencing her already unruly emotions all the more.

….

A day after her discussion with her Mom, Emma felt even more confusion and emotional angst than she'd thought possible. Between having to admit her darkest secret and listening to everyone else's, she was spent and exhausted, but they didn't have time to stop. The only way to go was forward and with Henry's life at stake Emma was determined to keep moving.

That didn't mean her mind was spared from wandering towards the new revelations though. It turned out that she wasn't the only one thinking it was just a kiss. In fact, Killian's darkest secret after a lifetime of piracy and villainous ways was that she made him feel something too. After hundreds of years of mourning his first love, she, Emma Swan, mattered to him and it was overwhelming and invigorating all at once.

He'd said her name, Milah, when he made his confession and the look in Hook's eyes when he spoke his truth cut at Emma so profoundly. But then the ground was shaking and truths just kept coming out including her one with Neal. She still loved him and she always would, but the cave had been kind because there was one last part she'd left out:

Emma knew now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was no hope for her and Neal romantically. Despite what it could mean for Henry to have his parents together, and despite what she might have wished years and years ago, there was too much damage to repair. Maybe they could be friends, for now they could definitely be partners trying to find their son, but it wouldn't be more.

Yet because she hadn't said that outright, because she'd bitten back that bit of truth trying to spare a man who meant a lot to her, Neal was all wired up. He was all hope all the time and his cocky self-assuredness was sparking something in Hook that only added to the flurry of Emma's emotions. As it was she was barely holding all the pieces together right now. Emma tried to bear it as best she could because she had Henry to fight for but it felt like the weight of the whole world fell squarely on her shoulders as they were walking into a place so fittingly called Dark Hollow.

"We're gonna have to cut our way through," Neal said as they came upon a grove of larger reeds and eager as she was to get through it Emma handed him his cutlass. That of course prompted conversation about how she got it that eventually unfolded into Neal huffing along into the woods. Needing to see that this stopped, Emma put her hand up to Hook and demanded some answers.

"What was that about?" Hook gave a dramatic sigh and Emma nearly rolled her eyes. His flare for exaggeration was not winning him any points in this moment.

"I assumed he'd heard my secret. And I also assumed that you'd told him of our shared moment." Oh Jeez, was he serious? He'd just made everything so much harder when they couldn't afford to do that.

"Why would you assume that?" Killian shrugged.

"Because I was hoping it meant something." Emma softened slightly.

"What meant something was that you told us Neal was still alive. Thank you. I realize you could have kept Pan's information to yourself."

"Why would I have done that?" Because it would be in his best interests, and because Emma so rarely met people who would put their own wants on hold to help her.

"I don't know. Maybe Pan offered you a deal? Why else would he tell you?" Killian looked at her dead on, unflinching at her assessment, but still quick to show her where her assumption was incorrect.

"It was a test. He wanted to see if I'd let an old friend die – even if the old friend happens to be vying for the same woman that I am." Emma let herself soften in the face of that answer. Honesty was the most important thing to her, and there was no denying that Killian meant what he was saying.

"And you chose your friend."

"Does that surprise you?" It actually didn't given what she was beginning to see of the man beneath his past, but still a cutting reply passed her lips.

"You _are_ a pirate." Killian looked down at her words and though she could tell she'd managed to inflict a bit of pain with her write-off of who he was he smiled all the same.

"Yeah, that I am."

Emma thought about saying that she could see more to him than that, that he'd proven he was more than just a villain with a ship, but he forged ahead before she could meeting her gaze once more as he took a step closer to her. It filled the space between them with the same charge that proximity always brought with Hook, and increased the tension that had been following them around since the beanstalk.

"But I also believe in good form. So when I win your heart, Emma – and I will win it – it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me."

For a moment words escaped her simply because of the heaviness of his promise. Hook didn't deliver the sentiment with undue pomp or flair but the earnestness of someone who meant everything they said. Those eyes of his were expressive and steadfast. There was sadness there or perhaps remorse over the timing of all of this, but underneath that there was hope, a hope that was so much more founded than the one Neal was carrying with him. The look was dazzling and for a few seconds Emma let her mind run wild with the possibility of the words he'd said.

This pirate – this _man_ \- was promising so much more than stolen kisses in the heart of some magical jungle. Winning her heart hinted at the love she'd been so vehemently against when talking to her mother the day before but when Hook implied the possibility of it now Emma couldn't immediately deny as she tried to do with Mary Margaret. Instead Emma thought that despite all outward appearances she and Hook had a lot in common. They'd both lost loves though in different ways, they both knew pain in a way her family never could seem to understand, and they were both different but trying to be better for whatever reason.

It was because of this realization and this sense of recognition that Emma surprised both herself and him by pulling him in for another kiss. It lacked the same raw heat and passion of the first they'd shared but it was made a statement so much more powerful than she'd believed herself capable of. This was more than chasing a good feeling, it was an expression that she cared and that he mattered to her.

With a gentle brush of her lips on Hook's, Emma's whole body flared to life and left her feeling so much more than she had only seconds ago. Part of her didn't want to pull back because this kissed eased away so many of her worries, and the other part was absolutely petrified that she'd already given too much away. When she did retreat though, Emma took advantage of the flustered state Killian remained in to speak the rest of her peace.

"This is not a contest, Hook." He smiled, probably gathering that the words and her action hinted at Neal's not having the claim both men seemed to believe he did.

"Isn't it?" Emma shook her head.

"No. But right now the only thing that matters is finding the best way to get my son back." Immediately Killian sobered, providing her with the encouragement she needed.

"And you will."

"You think so?" For some reason his belief made all the difference to Emma.

"I have yet to see you fail. And when you do succeed… well that's when the fun begins."

Emma couldn't suppress the eye roll that came but still she smiled at the insinuation. Even if she couldn't give it much credence now, his words did give her something more to look forward to. For now when they got back to Storybrooke she'd have more to revel in than just Henry's being safe and sound, but the possibility that Hook was right and that maybe she might find more good moments with laughter instead of heartbreak and fun instead of fighting.

…

 _Said I'd be gone by five_ _  
_ _But it's sun rise and I'm still in your bed_ _  
_ _Goodnight usually means goodbye_ _  
_ _Me re-playing memories in my head_ _  
_ _Look at you, look at you_ _  
_ _Look what you made me do_ _  
_ _How do you, how do you think know my every move_ _  
_ _Who are you? Who are you? You look so familiar_ _  
_ _I know you, I know you, baby, I know the truth_ __

 _We got way too much in common_ _  
_ _If I'm being honest with you_ _  
_ _We got way too much in common_ _  
_ _Since I'm being honest with you_ __

 _Who wants to love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _You wanna love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _If you could love somebody like me_ _  
_ _You must be messed up too_ _  
_ _Who wants to love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _You wanna love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _If you could love somebody like me_ _  
_ _You must be messed up too_ __

 _We used to talk 'til midnight  
All those days that you stayed at my house  
We were just passing the time_ _  
_ _When we were young and we ain't had no vows_ _  
_ _Now, now, now maybe later on, I'll text you and maybe you'll reply_ _  
_ _We both know we had no patience together day and night_ _  
_ _Getting high on our supply, yeah, we ain't satisfied_ _  
_ _I could love you all occasions_ __

 _We got way too much in common_ _  
_ _If I'm being honest with you_ _  
_ _We got way too much in common_ _  
_ _Since I'm being honest with you_ __

 _Who wants to love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _You wanna love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _If you could love somebody like me_ _  
_ _You must be mystical too_ _  
_ _Who wants to love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _You wanna love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _If you could love somebody like me_ _  
_ _You must be messed up too_ __

 _Messed up too, messed up too_ _  
_ _Just like you, just like you_ _  
_ _Messed up too, messed up too_ _  
_ _Just like you, just like you_ __

 _We got way too much in common_ _  
_ _If I'm being honest with you_ _  
_ _We got way too much in common_ _  
_ _Since I'm being honest with you_ __

 _Who wants to love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _You wanna love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _If you could love somebody like me_ _  
_ _You must be messed up too_ _  
_ _Who wants to love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _You wanna love somebody like me?_ _  
_ _If you could love somebody like me_ _  
_ _You must be messed up too_

 _ **Post-Note: I had a great need this week for some season 3 rewrites and of all the stories or AUs I could have worked with, these scenes were the ones that called to me the most. I kind of have to admit to missing the slow burn (I know, how dare I?) but also wanted the chance to give a subtle sort of relief to the scenes. I did not like the whole 'who will Emma choose' story line and the making a love triangle just for the sake of tension thing is never my cup of tea, so I reimagined this so Emma always knew there wasn't a choice to make. Anyway, hope you guys liked it and thanks so much for reading!**_


	116. Hold My Heart

_**A/N: Modern AU where Killian defends Emma in a heated moment but Emma is adamant that she doesn't need anyone fighting her battles for her. Killian knows that but hey, love does crazy things to people. Includes a CS love confession and fighting turned smuff (AKA exactly what I need to get through this Wednesday). Inspired by a reader suggestion for 'Hold My Heart' by Lindsey Stirling and ZZ Ward.**_

"You can just drop me off here."

Emma hated the sound of her own voice right now. It was hard and aggressive and reminiscent of a past she hated. Being this guarded was her status quo but recently it hadn't been that way. She'd been different and that had everything to do with the man beside her who shook his head as he parked the car and followed her to the door of her apartment building.

"Not a chance, Swan."

"Look Killian, I think it would be best if we just took a little -,"

"If the words 'time' or 'space' are about to come out of your mouth you can save it, Emma. That's the last thing we need. I'm not letting us slip away because of one night. There's not a chance in hell of that happening."

Emma noticed that Killian didn't refer to the events of this evening as a mistake, and though she was still angry Emma found herself glad for his insistence on staying. He wasn't letting her pull away and that was good because if there was anything Emma Swan was certifiably fantastic at, it was running from a problem.

And tonight definitely had been a problem. It hadn't started that way of course, on the contrary. She and Killian had gone to dinner and then for drinks at a place nearby that Emma was coming to think as there place. Going there on Saturday nights was becoming a habit and she delighted in that sense of routine, but in a split second that had all changed. One minute they'd been flirting and getting ready to call it an early night and the next Killian had punched out some jackass in front of the whole bar.

Emma couldn't tell thinking back on that moment if she was strictly enraged at his outburst or secretly thrilled at the display. She knew it was stupid for Killian to be getting into fights with stupid guys at bars, especially over her, but he'd done it and watching that instinct to protect her had been… something. It elicited all sorts of emotions and those feelings were now swirling around with the butterflies that always ended up showing up when she was with him. Her head was swimming and she needed a way to clear this fog up. The problem was Emma didn't know what to do.

See her history and own personal baggage demanded that she call him out for this. Whatever white knight fantasies he was holding close to or illusions of saving her he had, she didn't want to buy into that. Emma Swan didn't need saving. She never had and she never would.

But then again she also never thought she needed love, and after years of assuring herself and her friends that she was happy enough alone, Killian was the proof that that wasn't true. She might not have said the words aloud but he'd somehow cracked through the armor and broken down those walls that she always clung to. He didn't push her to do it either, and it was his patience and that almost brutal honesty shining in his blue eyes at all times that kept her in this with him despite her trust issues.

Somewhere along the way she'd given him her heart and as she marched up the stairwell and meandered to the front of her apartment with Killian on her heels, Emma tried to figure out when it had happened. At what exact point had she fallen in love with Killian Jones?

Maybe it was that time he showed up at the precinct with cocoa and grilled cheese after she'd sworn up and down she was fine on the phone three weeks ago. She'd been anything but fine thanks to a terrible case of child neglect she and her partner David had been forced to deal with, but to the rest of the world it was another normal day for Emma. Only Killian could sense the hurting, and only he could ease that tightness in her chest and that darkness in her mind that pulled her back to her own unfortunate story of childhood trauma.

Or perhaps it was the time he'd surprised her with a carriage ride through central park. Emma had told anyone who would listen for years that she thought they were corny and terrible, but with Killian it had been a kind of magical moment. And sure, they'd both sat there poking fun at the tourists that pointed their way, and they'd drawn up a sordid tale for the man driving the coach (he was on the run from a Chicago mobster and no self-respecting mafia man would ever take that job, thus the ideal cover), but Killian still held her close the whole time and Emma got that storybook moment at the end of the night where the leading man kisses the girl as the first snow of the year makes its way to the city.

Hell who was Emma kidding? The fall had started day one, when she walked into the courthouse and found out the new ADA on one of her cases was a smooth-talking charmer with a British accent and a face that made her heart race. Never in her life had Emma lacked a sense of cool, but from the first 'hello there, love' she'd been drawn in. She played it off of course, and she denied his first five attempts to take her out for coffee, but by the time they finally got there she was already making room for him in her heart and in her life. It was totally uncharted territory and she was terrified but trying.

"Emma, I know you're angry…"

The way he said the words made Emma close her eyes for a moment. That unexpectedly soft tone, and the way he sounded so hopeless made her want to move towards him and comfort him. But doing that would go against everything she knew. Instead she held her ground, holding close to the anger.

"Caught that, did you?" Emma asked, crossing her arms and turning back towards him. That was a mistake seeing as there was nothing on his face but an earnest plea for her to hear him and let him in.

"Aye love, you're a bit of an open book." Her stomach clenched at the personal joke. He'd been saying that about her since they first met and she loved that he understood her even if it frightened the living daylights out of her. Still she would not cave. She couldn't just let this stand.

"Right. Well did you get to the page where jokes aren't going to help anything?" Killian sobered some but she saw a flash of something in his eyes. He was frustrated too. But how could that be? She was the one entitled to being angry right now, not him.

"What will help, Emma?" Emma wracked her brain, not finding an easy answer.

"You can start by explaining what the hell just happened."

Killian's jaw ticked at that and at the moment one of her neighbors popped their head out of their door presumably to grab their mail or something. They immediately moved back into their room though when both Emma and Killian glared their way. It would have been funny if Emma weren't so strung out on this frenzy of feeling.

"What's to explain, love? That man laid a hand on you along with disrespecting you in a way I couldn't tolerate. He was subsequently put in his place."

"Yeah by my renegade ADA boyfriend! Did it ever occur to you that you could get fired for a stunt like that? He could have pressed charges. You could have been arrested!"

"So I should have been more selfish? I shouldn't have cared because it wasn't in my best interest? That would be impossible, Emma. What he did-," She groaned aloud at the words, trying to make him see.

"What _he_ did didn't matter! _You_ put everything at risk and for what? Some dumb drunk who got handsy with me. Did it ever occur to you that I can handle myself? That I don't need you to protect me? That I've been plenty able to defend my own honor for – I don't know – forever?! God Killian I can't even – I don't even know what you were thinking."

Emma looked away from him, not wanting him to see how broken up about this she was. She couldn't pinpoint exactly why she was acting this way, but it felt like this unjustified show of caring. Emma needed to know why he did this even though she was too chicken to ask.

"I was thinking that the woman I love deserves better than that ill treatment! I was thinking you, Emma, deserved better." _Wait, did he just say love?_

"You… _what_?" Emma heard the last word squeaked out. She was in shock and yet there was a surge of hope in her chest. He said he loved her. Killian loved her!

"It's not exactly how I pictured telling you Emma, but I do. I love you, and I'm not going to just stand by without fighting for you. There's a time to hold back and a time when holding back is not an option. I don't regret what I did tonight. The only part I regret is your doubt that you were worth the risk. Fuck my job. Fuck my blasted reputation. I don't want to be the man who stands aside when the chips are down. I can't be that with you."

Emma tried to gather herself enough to respond. There were so many things to say and she didn't know where to begin. She just stared at him, hoping that he could see what it was she was going through. When understanding crossed his features and he stepped forward, coming to hold her against the door as his hand moved to cup her cheek she knew he did.

"I know you're strong Emma, I know you can be your own savior and fight off all foes who stand in your way, but not everything has to be you alone against the world. And I don't expect you to say you love me back. Maybe it's too soon, or you'll never get there, or -,"

Emma couldn't bear to hear him second-guessing that element of all of this and before he could continue on she pulled him in by the collar of his jacket for a kiss. It was made of pure unbridled passion, pouring in every ounce of sentiment she had that she couldn't yet articulate, and when he met her beat for beat, pace for pace, it healed something in her. All of that raging emotion, all that tumult and worry dissipated leaving only Killian and the light be brought to her life.

"I love you too." Killian's eyes widened as his hand tightened its hold on her hip.

"You love me?" She smiled at his surprise.

"Yes. But that doesn't mean you can go off punching every guy who looks my way or says something you don't want to hear. You want to protect me? Fine, but I'm protecting you too. No more putting everything on the line for sleeze-ball bar flies. Got it?"

Killian's grin was so wide at this point, and his eyes searched Emma's face seemingly finding only perfection itself. It made Emma incredibly happy in a way she'd never known to see that look of adoration. Yet this was a look she'd witnessed from him before, and suddenly Emma knew that as long as she'd been in this with Killian he'd been right there with her, falling in love as well.

"I reserve the right to broach the topic at a later time, Swan." Emma rolled her eyes at the lawyer speak but then she pulled him inside the apartment with one goal in mind – take all of this electrifying need surging between them and make good on the bliss it could bring.

In a rush of hurried motion the two of them stripped off their clothing layer by layer until nothing was left between them. They left a trail behind them through her apartment and when there was nothing left to shed, Emma found herself falling back onto her bed with Killian above her, boxing her in with that hard, lean muscle of his. Emma ran her hand through the patch of hair on his chest as he kissed her and she moaned into it, wanting more than the slow and steady pace he was putting forth.

If there was anything Emma knew about Killian though it was that his patience knew almost no limits and when that particular skill found its way to the bedroom Emma always found mind-numbing pleasure. She went half crazy on the way to it, but he never failed to deliver, and now that she knew there was more than lust and simple infatuation between them she expected even more. Love had already changed her life; surely it would change this too.

When Killian's lips moved from her mouth down to her neck she arched against him, delighting in the light scrape of his teeth against her sensitive flesh. Just above her pulse point was a spot that only he had ever found, and he knew the flood of arousal it set off in her. The motion left Emma begging for friction of any kind, but Killian held back and she decided to change tactics.

"If you really loved me you wouldn't tease me."

Emma felt the vibration of Killian's laughter against the hollow of her throat and it set that already intense buzz to a near roar. One on his hands trailed down her body, skimming with a lightness that made her crave more. She was well under his spell now and they both knew that he held the keys to exactly what she wanted.

"It's exactly because I truly love you that I will spend all night showing you." Emma gulped at the promise. All night spent like this, teetering on the edge of insanity in the best possible way. Could she stand that? When his thumb brushed against her clit Emma nodded in response to a question he never asked.

"Right, we'll go with your plan then."

Killian grinned before kissing lower and proceeding to make good on his promise. He gave her just enough attention at her breasts with his mouth and at her sex with his hand for Emma to plead for more and finally, after what felt like forever he let her fall apart, pulling back to watch her as she did. When she came back to herself Emma saw the emotion in his eyes, the pride mixed with love that brightened his blue stare.

"Have you guessed by now the reasons _why_ I love you, Swan?" Emma shook her head as his mouth moved down her body. He was stalling but she luxuriated in it, wanting more than anything to have his lovely words along with his intoxicating touch.

"I would think the list would be never ending." Her attempt at a joke was breathy and too light to be her normal tone but Killian laughed all the same.

"Well there's that to be sure. That wit of yours never ceases to amaze me. You're already impossibly beautiful, too good for any man never mind me, but then you speak and there's laughter in my world when there was none before."

Emma felt her eyes close as he moved another inch lower. She loved the thought that she was making things better for him too because God knew he had improved her once mundane and lonely status quo.

"Eyes on me love, for they are another part of you I need. They're what tell me everything I need to know about where you are and what your heart desires. They told me even before you could that this love might not be all one sided."

"It's not. One sided I mean." Killian smiled again at the slightly flustered air surrounding her words before dropping another kiss right above her hip.

"Aye, love. So let me be honest with you as I always have been. The truth is that I'm a fan of every part of you. There is not a thing that hasn't pulled me closer. I was yours from the start and I'll be yours, always." Emma's breath caught at the promise but by then he wound his kisses down low enough to raise her sex to his lips, heightening her arousal with action as well as sweet proclamations.

" _Killian!"_

He growled against her as he continued to give her more and more and it made her shiver as her hands gripped the sheets tighter. Through some blessed mercy he didn't draw this out, giving way to his own hunger for more until she was shattering underneath him and by the time she'd found her breath again he was back with her, his eyes taking in her face as he hesitated for a moment. Emma didn't want him to feel any doubt at all and she found her own profession spilling past her lips.

"I'm yours too, Killian, and I might need a hero, but I do need you. You made me need you."

Killian mumbled about her being the cause of all this need boiling between them but then he was thrusting inside of her, filling the lingering space between them. Her toes-curled from the pleasure of it all and Emma clawed for better purchase against him until she felt his control slipping and he practically begged her to let go. She did of course and he did to, finding a sense of right unique only to them in the process.

"Did you mean what you said, about this being an always kind of thing?" Emma asked a while later as they lay together still wrapped up in their sated state. Killian brought her hand to his lips to kiss lightly.

"Yes, Emma. I'm in this for the long haul. As long as you want me I will be here, loving you with everything I have." Emma smiled and then moved closer to him, snuggling into his chest and the warmth of this glorious bubble.

"So if I said I was thinking of always too that would mean…"

"That would mean forever is ours, love." Emma closed her eyes and sighed happily.

"Forever. I like the sound of that."

Emma ended up liking the reality even better, and in an expected but still spectacular turn of events, this show of bravery and confession of love bloomed to something much more: a life spent together that was one truly worth living and filled with the kind of happiness Emma never dared to dream of but always hoped might come to be.

…

 _Don't need a hero to save me  
I'm not a girl to set free  
It's nothing you did to me  
I've always been this way_

 _I might be strong, I might be weak  
There might be a part of me that I won't let you keep  
Been on this road, and come this far  
Don't need a man to hold my hand  
I just want one to hold my heart_

 _Don't be afraid to hold this  
Even the thorns are roses  
I don't have to stand alone  
But I can live on my own_

 _I might be strong, I might be weak  
There might be a part of me that I won't let you keep  
And on this road, I've come this far  
Don't need a man to hold my hand  
I just want one to hold my heart_

 _Want you to, want you to hold my heart  
Want you to, want you to hold my heart  
Want you to, want you to hold my heart  
Want you to, want you to_

 _Want you to, want you to hold my heart  
Want you to, want you to hold my heart_

 _Want you to  
Want you to  
Want you to  
Want you to  
Want you to  
Want you to hold my heart_

 _I might be strong, I might be weak  
There might be a part of me that I won't let you keep  
And on this road, I've come this far  
Don't need a man to hold my hand  
I just want one to hold my heart_

 _I just want one hold my heart_

 _ **Post-Note: Just want to say thanks so much to the reader who asked for this song. It's such a great one that you guys should definitely check out and it enabled me to write a short smuffy chapter which I love doing. As always I am accepting song suggestions for the mixtape (though thanks to so many enthusiastic awesome people the queue is pretty long right now), and I hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	117. All For You

_**A/N: Just the shortest little drabble for the mixtape today that's a Killian POV (because I have a lot of readers who didn't have specific song requests but just wanted more chapters with his insights). It includes your average run of the mill domestic CS cuteness in some downtime between big bads and is inspired by one of my favorite songs 'All For You' by Sister Hazel.**_

Killian learned early on in his relationship with Emma that being a hero meant routine often fell to the wayside.

When the forces of evil or some new villain were wreaking havoc throughout the town simple things like laundry and watering the garden fell to the wayside. Chores piled up and the days got all scrambled together to the point where life felt like it was all fighting, sleeping, and the occasional stolen moment. Those fleeting interludes then held them off until the next chance they had to just breathe and they had to be enough to keep them going, for their was no other choice in the matter.

But it had been a few weeks now since the last Storybrooke disaster, and Killian found with every passing day that he needed more structure. Emma largely had it with her continuing duties at the station, and Henry had his own guiding lines with school, but Killian felt slightly aimless. A pirate had little occupation in this world and the things he'd used to do as an outlaw on the sea weren't often entirely up to hero standards.

Killian helped Emma some days at work and in particular sheriff situations that required two or more people, but there was only so much back up his Swan needed when dealing with a dwarf scuffle or a stolen garden gnome courtesy of some more rambunctious teenagers. So in the down time away from Emma Killian often found himself wondering what he could do the help.

He spent his time in a variety of ways. Sometimes he was left to help with baby Neal when both Snow and David didn't have the ability to be there. At first Emma's parents were doubtful of his ability, but again all it took was Emma's confidence in him for them to find some too. Now they were more than comfortable with Killian's presence for an hour or two even if he himself still felt at a loss with the tiny Prince. Clearly the little lad liked him well enough, but there had been a few times when he'd used the phone to call for Emma's assistance. She always knew the answers and she never made him feel foolish for asking for them, which he appreciated.

Other days, Killian helped Belle out at the library. The arrival of her son made for a bigger strain on her time and her abilities, but Belle continued to juggle it all in the hopes of providing the best example and the best life she could for her boy. Killian admired that and if stacking books a few hours a week took a load off of Belle's plate and made more time for her to bond with her child he would continue to do so as long as she needed it.

Even Regina solicited the occasional favor. As the reinstated mayor of a peaceful (but still in many ways the same) small town, the occasional item fell on her desk that she thought more in his wheelhouse. He'd helped her with concerns at the docks for instance and given her some suggestions on how to make that part of town run smoother. Regina proved as grateful as her disposition allowed, but Killian didn't mind the continued coolness, for Emma was anything but unappreciative.

On the contrary, every time Killian did something nice for others Emma practically fell all over herself. She smiled at him in that way she saved only for him and Henry that spoke to real joy and then they'd find a moment alone and she'd show him in other ways how much she favored his good deeds. Because of that Killian found himself reaping a reward he didn't need but loved all the same.

The truth was that Emma made him a better man who wanted to do good and he would choose to do right even without those extra incentives she provided. He wasn't in it for the rewards but because his doing right by others was good for Emma, and as long as he lived Killian would live with the purpose of seeing Emma's life made easier. Gone were the days of scouring the realms for treasure or seeking only to help himself. Everything he did was for her and this family and Killian had never been happier or more fulfilled.

That motivation to ease Emma's worries and burdens was what led to now with him in their kitchen making dinner for the evening. At the request of Henry, he'd learned a few recipes that didn't have anything to do with boiled fish, and tonight he was trying a new one Snow had given him the last time he babysat Neal.

Back when the curse was still here she and Emma used to have dinner together quite a lot, and despite Emma's penchant for grilled cheese and onion rings there were other meals she favored. Since Killian himself could use a break from Granny's he decided to go for it and to try making something called chicken catch… catcha… catch a-something.

"Wow, something smells really good in here."

Killian didn't jump at the words behind him that came from Emma. She had taken to _poofing_ home at a moments notice and at first it startled him but now he almost expected it. He smiled looking over to her, finding her beautiful as always even after a long shift.

"Is that surprise I hear, Swan?" She shook her before pressing a kiss to his lips lightly and pulling away all too soon.

"Nope. I know better than to be surprised when it comes to you. You're good at everything."

Killian chuckled at the compliment. It was hyperbolic to say the least for he was no genius in many areas, especially ones pertaining to this world. Just the other day he'd managed to shrink half of his clothes in that blasted washing machine and he was still complete rubbish when it came to that video box of Henry's despite Emma's prowess with the contraption.

"How was your day, love?" Emma shrugged off her jacket and hung it on a nearby chair sighing as she did.

"Long. Dad and I finished that backlog of paper work and then spent a half an hour shooting paper baskets to kill time before someone finally came in with a complaint about excessive noise."

Killian had no idea what 'paper baskets' were or why one would shoot them but he smiled despite himself. Emma was good at many things but being bored was not one of them. Sure, she was excellent at stakeouts and waiting in pursuit of some sort of perpetrator of misconduct, but when there was nothing to work towards and Emma still had to work she hated it. He would never say she missed being the savior in the downtime they were now enjoying, but she didn't strictly love the lull in action.

"And Henry is still studying with Violet tonight?" Emma nodded.

"Yup. Belle said she'd text me updates."

Killian flashed his eyes up at that. She wouldn't do that. Surely Emma wouldn't continue to be that hovering mother who stalled the efforts of a young lad in love. Emma's eyes were filled with amusement though and she could read his thoughts so easily.

"I'm kidding. They're at Violet's tonight not the library and Henry's staying with Regina tonight." That sounded about right. In their new normal Thursday was an evening Henry spent with Regina leaving Emma and Killian to their own devices.

"Well then I guess we'll save his portion for later." Emma's eyes shone at his words and Killian could sense he'd said something that meant a lot to her. He promptly shut off the stove and turned towards her cupping her cheek in his hand. "What's that look for, love?"

"You love us." Emma didn't say the words with surprise. It was a simple statement of fact that Killian loved Emma and Henry both.

"I do Emma. More than I can say." Though Emma knew that already she still got a little misty-eyed at the confirmation.

"We're your family," she continued. Killian nodded.

"Aye, that you are, and you are the best family a man could ever ask for."

Her hand ran over his chest and she hummed out a happy sound. Killian felt the same zing of awareness at the touch that always came and his heart rate picked up it's pace, pumping more life into him from her touch alone. He could also see the ring he'd given her a few weeks ago when he asked for her hand in marriage and the sight of it filled him with pride as it always did. Soon Emma would be his wife, and that was a bloody miracle in every way.

"Just know that you're not the only one feeling grateful. I don't know how we got here. God knows there's been a thousand times we nearly lost our chance, but this right here makes everything we've been through worth it."

She was so right. There was nothing in their past that Killian wouldn't willingly stand against a million more times for a shot at one more day like this one. Still he teased her, hoping for the return of that humorous light in her eyes once more.

"Even being a dark one?" Killian asked and Emma smiled, giving him exactly what he wanted.

"Worth it."

"Traipsing through the Underworld?"

"Worth it."

"Therapy?" Emma laughed at that one before moving closer, her body flush against his.

"Worth it, but barely."

Killian returned the laugh at her continuation of his joke but he watched as Emma sobered some. The good humor remained at the corner of her lips but her voice dipped lower sounding through the air with more seriousness than before.

"Anything we'll ever face will be worth these moments, Killian. I was too scared to even dream of them before but now I know, the happy ending at the end of the tunnel is everything everyone said it would be."

"So you're happy then, love?" He knew the answer but still he asked, longing for the words.

"Mhmm. But you know what might make me just a little bit more so?" Killian desired that more than anything. "If we saved dinner for later and I reminded you just how _happy_ we can make each other."

He heard a growl emanate from his chest before Emma grinned again, whisking them with her magic upstairs to their bedroom. Though she hadn't needed to remind him (for Killian could never forget the feelings that came from being with Emma) Killian appreciated her efforts and when all was said and done they both found more than enough happy to go around.

And luckily for Killian and Emma, that happiness always remained. No matter what crises came their way all the rest of their days were ready for it, for they had each other and the love of their family and those were the sole ingredients needed for a true happily every after.

…

 _Finally I figured out  
But it took a long, long time  
But now there's a turnabout  
Maybe 'cause I'm trying_

 _There's been times, I'm so confused  
All my roads, They lead to you  
I just can't turn and walk away_

 _It's hard to say what it is I see in you  
Wonder if I'll always be with you  
But words can't say, And I can't do  
Enough to prove,  
It's all for you_

 _I thought I'd seen it all  
'Cause it's been a long, long time  
But then we'll trip and fall  
Wondering if I'm blind_

 _There's been times, I'm so confused  
All my roads, They lead to you  
I just can't turn and walk away_

 _It's hard to say what it is I see in you  
Wonder if I'll always be with you  
But words can't say, And I can't do  
Enough to prove,  
It's all for you_

 _Rain comes pouring down  
Falling from blue skies  
Words without a sound  
Coming from your eyes_

 _Finally I figured out  
But it took a long, long time  
But now there's a turnabout  
Maybe cause I'm trying_

 _There's been times, I'm so confused  
All my roads, They lead to you  
I just can't turn and walk away_

 _It's hard to say what it is I see in you  
Wonder if I'll always be with you  
But words can't say, And I can't do  
Enough to prove,  
It's all for you_

 _It's hard to say what it is I see in you  
Wonder if I'll always be with you  
But words can't say, And I can't do  
Enough to prove,  
It's all for you_

 _It's hard to say  
It's hard to say  
It's all for you_

 _ **Post-Note: So like I said just a bit of future fluff because I needed it today and didn't have much time. I read a really great post today on tumblr (that I subsequently lost track of) about how lucky we are to have this ship even in the weeks where they don't get a lot of screen time and I think that's so true. I love this fandom and this couple and it's a pretty good shipper life when my fics can be this fluffy and not be SO out of the realm of possibility Anyway thank you guys for reading and hope you all have a great weekend!**_


	118. Beside You

_**A/N: So full disclosure I have not yet watched this week's episode, but I still was craving another future CS moment where Killian and Emma have finally defeated the Evil Queen and eradicated the darkness that came from the land of untold stories. When a quiet moment comes and Emma and Killian get home, their typical cuteness escalates to a proposal (because don't all my oneshots turn out that way?). Inspired by a reader prompt for the song 'Beside You' by Mariana's Trench.**_

The quiet on their walk home from the center of Stroybrooke wasn't one of discomfort or turmoil. It was heavy with relief because finally, through the grace of every good thing in this world, they were coming home. They'd defeated Emma's visions and the curse of saviors. The Evil Queen was gone, the darkness of the lingering untold stories eradicated, and all that was left was them and their home and a truly good moment that Killian hadn't even dared to hope for.

All this time the stress of what could happen had been bearing down on Emma and on her family, Killian included. To lose Emma would be the cruelest turn of events in the world, and though his heart never believed it would happen, choosing instead to side with the fact that Emma was too remarkable to ever truly be gone, the worry was tangible for weeks and weeks.

Now though that worry was gone and in its stead was a need for sleep, solace, and many a morning sans interruptions and crises and any more villains or obstacles. Killian wasn't sure how likely such a reprieve was, for surely something else would come calling soon enough, but for now he wasn't going to waste a moment.

"I keep feeling like I'm going to wake up and realize we didn't actually win."

Emma said the words as they walked through the front of their house, closing the door behind her and looking back at Killian. She wasn't hiding in the slightest, allowing him to see that while she was happy to be past the burdens, she was also still frightened of the fall out. All these heartaches and upsets had affected his Swan and Killian needed to find a way to show her that it was real. This was their life, and Emma was the victor in the battle for her own happy ending.

"That's a natural inclination, love, but I promise you that as per usual you found a way."

Emma smiled at his confidence in her and the sight of some of her tensions slipping away did wonders for his own wellbeing. Killian had spent too many weeks watching Emma struggle. They'd been going at a never ceasing pace for so long now, and though she was strong, stronger than any other person he'd ever met, Emma needed actual peace and she needed it now. To be denied it any longer would be a detriment and Killian couldn't have her suffering when they could have healing instead.

" _We_ found a way. _Together_."

Emma's fingers intertwined with his as she took his hand in a loving gesture, but instinctively Killian knew they needed more. In the aftermath of everything Henry was staying the night with Regina and though rest should be their top priority, there was still too much anxiety and tension and energy coiled tight in Emma and in him. They needed to vent it out somehow before succumbing to that all too elusive sleep.

A spark of recognition ignited in Emma's jade colored eyes and in a second they were reaching for each other. Killian couldn't tell exactly who moved first, but the result was the same, a scorching kiss and tight embrace that was designed to give them both that feeling of truly being alive. Killian needed this exact set of sensations when coming back from the Underworld, and they both required it now, knowing that it had been touch and go there for a minute. They almost hadn't won against the darkness but now they were thankfully past the worst of the storm.

With less than steady hands Emma moved to get Killian's jacket off of him as Killian worked to do the same for her. Every movement was charged with passion and hunger and though they lacked some coordination, it was the best kind of dance. They'd been here before, and they'd be here again, but nothing compared to these stolen moments with Emma. Someday he hoped they could be more than an occasional interlude, but for now it was enough. At least until Emma pulled back and pressed her hand on his chest. Her breath came in pants even as her lips turned upwards in a smile. Gods there was nothing in the world that held a candle to Emma Swan looking this happy.

"We made it to the other side. I didn't know if we really could, but we did." Killian responded with a smile of his own and he stepped forward, running his hand against her cheek. She was starting to believe in their good fortune, and he wanted her to see it fully.

"Aye, love. We're survivors after all. It's what we do."

Emma hummed a happy sound at that as her hands traced down the contours of his almost fully unbuttoned vest. Time had made her an expert at extracting that usually pesky garment from his person, and he grinned thinking of her finesse in moments like these. Emma was remarkable and capable and brilliant in every way.

"We also seem to keep finding our way back to each other." 

"Always, love. I'll be finding you forever." Emma's eyes softened at his affirmation and then he saw something a little like trepidation return to her features, though she pushed through, articulating her thought aloud in something just above a whisper.

"Forever is a really long time." Killian shook his head as his thumb brushed lightly against her cheek.

"It's not nearly long enough, Emma. No amount of time with you ever could be." He felt the exhalation of a shaky breath pass through her lips and Killian knew it signaled her coming around to his way of thinking.

"You know what forever entails, right?" Killian swallowed harshly at the thought. Yes he knew what forever meant, or at least what he wanted it to represent.

There would be a wedding if he had his way, with Emma dressed in white like she had been in Camelot only without the cloud of darkness swirling around them. Maybe she'd wear flowers in her hair again, or go without. Either way she'd be the sun in his life as she was in every moment already. Then perhaps they could see about having more children if Emma was amiable to the idea. Henry could have some younger siblings, and he and Emma would have the chance to share a new adventure. There'd be growing old together (something Killian had been putting off for a while), but more than anything there would be Emma. That was all Killian actually needed, despite what any of his other dreams might be. If Emma was there he'd be more than satisfied; he'd be the luckiest man alive.

"Being beside you in every moment that I can?" Emma smiled.

"Well that, and asking me to marry you."

Killian knew the face he made at her bold statement must be one of profound surprise if Emma's widening smile was any indication. He had been thinking of marriage only seconds ago but still, for Emma to mention it in this cavalier way was a significant change of pace from their usual dance. Here he was waiting and waiting and waiting for a sign that she was ready, and she just said it like it was her most obvious wish.

"I suppose you'd be right in that." Emma tilted her head slightly, her smirk almost teasing and her eyes lit with an excitement he hadn't seen in them nearly enough.

"Oh you suppose, do you? What? True love not enough inducement to get you down the aisle, _Captain_?" Killian appreciated the joke and he couldn't help himself in teasing his love a little in return.

"You seem very keen on me asking you, Swan."

Emma's brow furrowed at the remark, and Killian hated to think she'd second-guess herself. It was just so substantial a change from where they'd started. To know Emma was ready even if none of this was going according to any of the hundreds of plans he'd put forth in his own mind… well it made all the difference in the world. Just thinking of those plans and the grandness of the gesture he'd been hoping for kept him standing still even though every part of him was screaming out for him just to ask her and secure her love in this way as hastily as he could.

"Don't you want to ask me?" Killian smiled and nodded, his hook coming to run over her hip lightly in an attempt to physically assuage her fears.

"Aye, more than anything." Emma's features softened and the light came back into her eyes once more, a subtle smile playing at the corner of her lips. Her voice sounded out with a breathier tone than it had only seconds before, and Killian had to heed her command.

"So ask me."

Without further ado, Killian moved a step back and dropped to one knee right there in the entryway of their house, watching as Emma's small hopeful smile bloomed to something much more. Even just the gesture was enough to fill Emma up with happiness but when he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring he'd been carrying around for what felt like forever she gasped.

Killian knew the sound wasn't thanks to the extravagant ring that he'd procured for this occasion some time ago, but from her surprise. Despite everything, despite how obvious he was in his affections for her or his steadfast need to protect her at every turn and to see her happy, Emma still didn't understand just how invested he was in their future.

"You came prepared," her attempt at a joke was clogged with emotion.

"Aye. One never knows when an opportunity like this might present itself." Emma covered her mouth to stifle a laugh – nay a giggle – and he wished she wouldn't for the sound was too sweet to be subdued. He wanted to hear it all the time, and if she'd only say yes to the question he was about to ask he'd set out to pulling such sounds from her all the time.

"And still you're stalling," Emma quipped, trying to get herself collected again and putting her hands on her hips in that knowing way of hers.

"Well this isn't exactly how I saw this going, love."

Emma smiled even as fresh tears collected in her eyes. Once upon a time she'd told him that she wasn't tear prone, in her goodbyes or at any other time, but that theory had been quickly undercut. He knew that these were of a happy variety though, and so Killian stayed where he was instead of immediately righting himself to comfort her.

"You thought about this a lot, huh?" Killian nodded, hoping that she felt the truth of what he was about to say.

"Pretty much any spare minute where all my attention wasn't being used to fight off some demon or other I was hoping for the chance at a moment like this."

"So what are we missing?" Killian chuckled and waved his hook around to signal their surroundings and its lack of decoration and adornment.

"Oh you know, the usual. Flowers, candles, a view of the sea…"

No sooner had he said the words than Emma flicked her wrist in a display of magic that transported them to the quietest part of the Storybrooke beach. Around them now were hundreds of flowers, roses just like the ones that had been in Camelot, and the candles in question. But Emma never so much as looked at any of it even when Killian did. He was so proud of how far she'd come when it came to her magic and her acceptance of herself, but all Emma was focused on was him and her intensity settled something in Killian. This was the moment at long last when he'd make sure every hope for them was on the table.

"You were saying?" Emma's words pulled a laugh from his chest and he shook his head.

"I was saying that I love you, Emma Swan. I've loved you almost from the start, even when at first all I could see was an infuriatingly beautiful, incredibly stubborn woman I knew that you were different. We've been through a lot already, more than any two people should likely have to endure, but I would face every trial again and again since it led us to this."

"I would too." Killian smiled at her interrupting. Even now his Emma was impatient and he could tell she wanted him to just hop to it, but on this he would not waiver. She deserved to know the whole truth and he wouldn't keep it from her.

"I've made you a lot of promises, Emma, ones about protecting you and fighting with you no matter what, but more than anything I promise to see you and to stand with you from this day until my last day. You will never know as long as I live and breathe what it means to be alone again. You'll never have to worry about whether you are loved, for my love will be no secret. Everything I have will be yours and in every moment, the good ones and the bad I will still be here, beside you, for whatever you need. Forever might not be enough, love, but it's a start and hopefully this start is one of the happily ever after variety. So will you-,"

"Yes!"

Emma's response completely interrupted the last part of his monologue but Killian hadn't a care. Instead he stood up and helped Emma slip on her ring before pulling her to him for another kiss, one even more heart-wrenchingly raw and real than their one back in their home. Finally, after what felt like a life time of waiting, he'd gotten to this point where Emma and him were truly on the same page wanting the exact same future. Or they almost were, he just had to be sure.

"So you'll marry me?" Killian asked when he pulled back watching Emma's eyes hot with lust and love and a need to pull him back to her.

"Yes, Killian. Nothing would make me happier."

"Nothing?" Emma shook her head and then considered.

"Well maybe actually getting married. And kids – do you want kids? I mean I think you want kids, you're surprisingly great with them and -," Now it was Killian's turn to cut his love off with a kiss. She was starting to second-guess again and he wouldn't have it.

"Aye, love. I want everything as long as everything is with you." Emma beamed up at him resting her forehead against his as she closed her eyes and whispered a promise of her own.

"It will be. Because we're in this together."

Without any more delay Emma used that same magic that she had before to get them back home so as to have a proper celebration. Such a happy chapter in their story deserved to be sealed in that perfect way that only ever happened when the two of them came together. They'd tell everyone else in the morning (or perhaps the afternoon if he could convince Emma to sleep in for once), but Killian knew that none of them would be surprised. He'd already spoken to Emma's parents and to Henry and they knew that this was coming; they welcomed it even since Killian was, according to them, already a part of this family.

And in the end Emma was right; all those good dreams about white weddings and children and getting their happy ending did come true even if the fight was hardly over. There was always more to be done in the life of any hero, but Killian and Emma braved each battle and weathered every storm because they always had each other and they both knew that they always would.

…..

 _When your tears are spentt on your last pretense_

 _And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense._

 _When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles_

 _And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while_

 _If your heart wears thin I will hold you up_

 _And I will hide you when it gets too much_

 _I'll be right beside you_

 _I'll be right beside you_

 _When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath_

 _When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless._

 _When you try to speak but you make no sound_

 _And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud_

 _If your heart wears thin I will hold you up_

 _And I will hide you when it gets too much_

 _I'll be right beside you_

 _I'll be right beside you_

 _I will stay._

 _Nobody will break you,_

 _Yeah._

 _Trust in me, trust in me._

 _Don't pull away_

 _Trust in me, trust in me._

 _I'm just trying to keep this together,_

 _Because I could do worse and you could do better_

 _Tears are spent on your last pretense_

 _And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense._

 _If your heart wears thin I will hold you up_

 _And I will hide you when it gets too much_

 _I'll be right beside you_

 _Nobody will break you_

 _If your heart wears thin I will hold you up_

 _And I will hide you when it gets too much_

 _I'll be right beside you_

 _Nobody will break you._

 _ **Post-Note: So first of all thank you to my lovely reader for suggesting this song and another proposal fic. I don't think you can ever have too many of those, at least not in my world. I am also slowly but surely getting through all of the prompts you guys have sent my way for this series, and I can't say how happy I am to get them! It won't be too long at this rate until I hit 200 chapters, and I thank you all for that. Anyway hope you all have a great rest of your day and thanks again for reading!**_


	119. Like I Can

_**A/N: Rewrite of episode 3x12 where Emma and Killian are having their conversation about going home again and Killian takes the 'I came back to help you' further. He ends up getting frustrated because Emma's clinging to the idea that she's loved Walsh even though it was false memories – now before she even talks to Walsh she admits it's not love. Inspired by a reader suggestion for 'Like I Can' by Sam Smith and my own constant need to embed more would-be fluff into cannon.**_

Only Hook could ever convince her to drink a vial of some undisclosed substance on the off-chance she had a whole life she forgot about. Emma was still wondering about how he'd managed to do that all these hours later, knowing full well that there was no logic behind it. It all came down to instinct and the feeling she could trust him even when she had no clue who he was.

This crazy guy dressed like some rock star attempt at a pirate and looking sorely out of place should have frightened Emma and at first he did, but not because she thought he was actually dangerous. If anything she was terrified of the shock to her system he presented and that kiss that had come from out of the blue. He startled her, shaking her to the core when nothing had managed to do that for so long.

The worst thing for Emma though, the element that set her stomach tying into knots over and over, were those eyes of his. Couple the intensity that shone there clear as day for her to see and then the fully intentional display of wit and charm that was disarming and annoyingly endearing and she was lost. He made quips about bologna after she had him thrown in jail and she rolled her eyes, but part of her was laughing. In another situation it would have been a good line.

Emma had been playing that interaction in the street in her mind over and over again since getting her memories back. She'd think of her parents and the town and the real life she had, mourning all of the heartache and pain she'd really faced instead of the good life she and Henry had now, but in the midst of that Hook's quiet attempt to convince her would flitter through her mind again.

" _Perhaps there's a man that you love in the life that you've lost."_

Now they were hanging around silently in her apartment, and Hook believed the quiet was because Emma was overwhelmed about her new reality and saving the town again, but that was only partially true. Emma might be a lot of things, and she may very well cling to denial about emotions and feelings with the best of them, but she couldn't push aside the insinuations of Hook's words. That man she might love… well he was hoping it was him. She could see that, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest as a response.

Love was a concept Emma did not totally understand. The only person in the world she knew she truly loved, without a single shred of doubt was Henry. Her son in both of her realities was the most important thing. But romantically, Emma was stunted. This past year she'd met Walsh and they'd dated. It was casual and easy but Emma knew that there was no real chemistry. He was a nice guy and Henry liked him, but since seeing Hook the first time, even before the memories she'd known there was something missing.

Emma never felt butterflies with Walsh, hell she never felt butterflies with anyone, but with Hook there was always this feeling of being slightly off balance. For the longest time she'd written it off as him being a villain. Up there on that beanstalk he was a shady guy with shadier motives and she was using him to get back to Henry. Yet still he pulled her to him. Emma felt a sense of being alive that didn't come with other people when she was around him, even if she'd never show it.

Then everything happened and Hook proved himself in Neverland. He put Henry and Emma above himself more than once and he'd been a kind of lifeline. Even in the aftermath of the kiss, when things got awkward with Neal being there and the weird pissing contest began to unfold, Hook still acted like she was his priority.

"Everything all right, Swan?"

Emma looked back at Hook who was standing in her apartment and changing her view on every part of their surroundings as he did. She'd brought him here after discovering the truth, but she'd slipped into her own thoughts for a moment. This never happened with anyone. Emma was always on the alert, life had taught her that to not be was inviting trouble, but with Hook she wasn't worried for her safety even as she internally battled with herself over the mess of emotions plaguing her.

"You want a drink?"

He looked at her curiously for a moment, still trying to assess if she was okay and Emma did her best to remain stone faced. This infuriating man had a way of reading her and right now she did not want him anywhere near her internal musings. That would be incredibly dangerous. Instead of pushing though, Hook nodded.

"Aye, love." Emma felt the same flare of something she couldn't quite place at the endearment that she always did and then she brought him to the table.

"You sit, and tell me the rest of what you know happened with my parents back in the Enchanted Forest."

Hook submitted to her request and immediately began filling in the last pieces of the puzzle. Emma was missing half of it however. She was trying her best not to shake as she reached for the glasses and the alcohol and she was taking her time so as to try and give herself enough space to compose herself before coming back to face him. By the time she did return, dropping her spoils on the table, Hook was pretty much done.

"Frankly I was bored. I had a life to get back to. A pirate's life." There – that right there! She could use that to her advantage in pushing him (and hopefully these feelings) away.

"Glad to see you haven't changed." The look in his eyes when she imparted that jab was a cross between hurt and defiance. He moved forward, filling the space between them with his presence and the scent of rum and leather. Emma held her ground but her nerves were frayed by the movement and the timbre in his voice when he replied gruffly.

"There wasn't anything for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay?"

That was a loaded question, and Emma tried to find a response of any kind that didn't have anything to do with her or this energy flowing between them. He put her out of her misery in a way though, offering his glass to clink with hers in a subtle toast. Then she raised her glass to her lips, hoping that maybe the burn of the drink would spark some ability to communicate with him again. As she did he continued, explaining himself further.

"All was well… until I got a message, a message saying that there was a new curse and that everyone had been returned to Storybrooke."

Emma looked at Hook through the statement and she knew from the way he avoided her eyes and tried to play it cool that the first part of his claim was a lie. Things weren't well and she wondered why that was. Why would Captain Hook not find adequate comfort in that pirate's life he'd went back after?

"The message told me that the only hope was you." That part was definitely true, but it still didn't answer the biggest question in all of this: why would he come back at all? He didn't owe her anything, yet he was here, in New York no doubt inconveniencing himself greatly to get to her and help her family.

"You came all the way back here to save my family?" Emma could hear the skepticism in her voice but Hook remained honest to the last with his reply.

"I came back to save you." He took a pull of his drink as Emma felt a swirl of anxiety and delight all in one low in her gut. He did this for _her_ and he told her that to her face. He wasn't hiding from it, he just admitted his truth for her to acknowledge or walk away from.

In their past encounters Emma had been predisposed to leaving his claims and actions unanswered. Aside from the kiss and telling him that she approved of his thinking of her every day before she left Storybrooke with Henry a year ago, Emma barely gave him an inch. Still he was here. Hook had no proof that any of his efforts would ever come to mean anything but he stayed, without expectation. It was that unassuming aid and caring for her that prompted Emma to step further than a smarter person would.

"Why?" Hook blinked at the quandary as if it made no sense.

"Why did I come to save you?" Emma nodded. "Because it was the right thing to do."

"No, that's not it." Something flashed in his eyes at that, something Emma recognized, but she couldn't put her finger on it. He tried to cover with a lopsided grin that didn't fully match the brightness of a real smile.

"Your superpower doesn't believe I could try and do good, love?" Emma shook her head.

"No I know you can – I know you _do_ – but that's not why you came here."

"No it's not."

They sat there quietly for a moment and Emma waited, knowing that even if he said what she wanted right now it was still likely to terrify her. She was pushing for words she was hardly ready for, but it didn't matter. Right now all she wanted was for him to acknowledge what had been building between them up until her memories were taken in the curse.

"I came back because it wasn't enough." Emma's heart thumped loudly in her chest at the start of his words but Hook pressed on, clearly committing to this now that he'd started.

"The life I had before didn't mean anything anymore. I'd given up revenge because I saw that there was more to life than darkness. You showed me that and then you were gone. And it didn't matter where I took the Jolly or how far I sailed, hell even the rum didn't work as it used to." Emma attempted a smile at that but it wouldn't come. It was too heart wrenching to laugh at his bit of a joke.

"I kept my promise, Emma. I thought of you every day, but I knew you were here. I realized even if it hurt to lose you that the life you'd have here would be good. Regina may be a lot of things, but she would never deny Henry the chance at a happy ending and you got to be a part of that. My life might have been darker for your being gone, but at least you had your chance."

Emma's throat was tight at all of his words. He wanted her to be happy, even if it meant that he lived a life remembering her and the spark that had lived between them and she went on her own never knowing him at all. Suddenly the fact that she'd forgotten Hook hurt like an actual wound. She'd been sitting here almost lamenting the fact that she needed to wake up from this nice, dreamy life, but that was all it was – a dream and an incomplete one at that.

"I knew when I got that message, love, what it would mean for you. I had never felt as happy in that year apart as when I realized there was a way and a reason to find you again. Then it hit me – coming here would mean breaking the spell for you. I allowed myself to hope that somehow you knew. Maybe there were lingering memories or signs in your life…"

"So you kissed me." Emma watched as Hook blushed and scratched behind his ear.

"I only had one vial of the memory potion so I chanced it." Emma didn't take his meaning for a second and then she did. He'd kissed her in the hopes that it would break her curse – he'd obviously felt enough about her to think it could be true love.

"True love's kiss doesn't work when someone doesn't have their memories. My parents tried that in the Enchanted Forest."

Emma didn't expect the look of hope that crossed his features. It invigorated her in a way she couldn't explain. It was way too soon to be thinking that way (even if she hadn't forgotten about him for a whole year), but seeing that he believed in that possibility stoked something in Emma. She wanted to say more but then the buzzer rang and her glance flicked to the doorway, the dread compiling as she did.

"Who's that?" Hook asked.

"Walsh. Henry invited him." Immediately Hook sprung into action, starting to get up from the table.

"I'll get rid of him."

"No. My memories might not be real, but his are. We were…"

"It's not love, Emma! Not the kind of love you should have." Emma blinked at the forceful declaration from Hook.

"Excuse me?" She was slightly affronted by the words but her pulse had kicked up into hyper speed. She simultaneously needed to hear what he was going to say and was dreading it.

"The love you need is more than whatever the two of you shared. You were looking for safety and for comfort, a good role model for your boy, I understand that, but love isn't so stoic and controlled. There's passion and daring and a little risk. None of that is there with him."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

Except clearly he did because Emma knew there was nothing like passion between her and Walsh. Even when she was cursed there hadn't been anything resembling a real fire and Hook had a perfect read on her. Still Emma hated that and she would fight against that as best she could.

"I do though, love. I saw you together when you were on your – on your date – and he never would have been enough for you. A woman like you, Swan… you're so far above everything else and to see you settle would be the worst of fates."

Emma could hear the way he rushed through calling it a date and there was no doubt that the whole idea of Emma being on such an outing was deplorable to him. He was jealous. Captain Hook was jealous about her, and somehow it wasn't the first time. He'd been getting into with Neal all through Neverland until she told him that she needed him to be her partner and not her burden and he gave that to her.

"You can't know that. Maybe it would have worked out." Her voice broke at the claim because it was fruitless. She was grasping at non-existent straws at this point.

Memories of moments where Hook had yielded to her wishes just because it would make her life easier were flooding to the forefront of her mind, and that kindness and putting her first wasn't the only thing about him that spoke to her. The chemistry between them had been palpable from the start, even when he was nothing but a cocky pirate potentially threatening her return back to Storybrooke.

"But I can, Emma, because I know you. It feels like I always have."

Hook stepped towards her until they were only inches apart and she could see the intensity of his gaze. It lit her up like an actual touch, carrying the same heady current that all their previous grazes had given before this, but before Emma could run or cave to this pull the buzzer sounded in the apartment again.

"I have to get that."

"You don't have to do anything, Emma. Not if you don't want to." Emma closed her eyes, unable to take the surging crackle of emotion coursing between them. She just needed to breathe and to think and to stop getting swept up in this man who gave her choices and respected her wishes even while pushing her limits.

"But I _do_ want to. I can't just up and disappear on him, not when-,"

"Please love, just spare me the same argument about your history with him."

The defeat in his tone had Emma's eyes popping back open and she saw he looked almost wounded from her response and she took half a step forward, deciding that for once in their relationship (or whatever this was) she was going to put him first instead of letting him sacrifice. She would give him part of her truth even if it scared her, because Hook deserved that.

"You're right, okay? It's not love. It wasn't ever, not really." The relief in his features set off a similar feature in her too and Emma found herself continuing on even when she didn't mean to. "I did leave something with someone behind in my old life and we can talk about that later. But that doesn't mean I can just walk away. Walsh deserves some kind of closure before I go back home with you."

Emma purposely hadn't let it slip that he was the person in question, but Hook knew. The understanding was written clear as day in those eyes of his and he nodded, giving way as he always did to what she needed. He could stand down now because he was bringing her home and staying in her life, where Walsh would not.

"I'm sorry, Emma." That was surprising.

"For what?"

"Everything you're giving up. We'll find a way to make it right. I promise."

Somehow his faith in that eventuality emboldened Emma and she stepped forward. She thought about kissing him, but that would have just added another layer of mess to this situation, so instead she took his hand and squeezed lightly. Her thumb traced over some of the rings he had and the gesture caused his hand to tremble even as her body flooded with sensation. This felt intimate, maybe even more so than that kiss they shared because now there was the undeniable truth that this was more than a one-time thing.

"Thank you, Killian." Her use of his first name brought back that up-ticked smile as the buzzer sounded and again and she groaned.

"To be continued, love." She nodded and then headed straight into a breakup turned rude awakening the likes of which she'd never expected. But it was all right in the end because even if they were facing flying monkeys and another curse, Emma knew it would work out. Killian was a man of his word after all, and he'd never break a promise to her, of that Emma was certain.

…..

 _He could be a sinner, or a gentleman  
He could be your preacher, when your soul is down  
He could be your lawyer on a witness stand but  
He'll never love you like I can, can_

 _He could be a stranger, he gave a certain glance  
He could be a trophy, of a one night stand  
He could have your humor, but I don't understand cause  
He'll never love you like I can, can, can_

 _Why are you looking down all the wrong roads  
When mine is the heart and the soul of the song  
There may be lovers who hold out their hands but  
He'll never love you like I can, can, can_

 _A chance encounter of circumstance  
Baby he's a mantra, keeps your mind entranced  
He could be the silence in this mayhem, but then again  
He'll never love you like I can, can, can_

 _Why are you looking down all the wrong roads  
When mine is the heart and the soul of the song  
There may be lovers who hold out their hands but  
He'll never love you like I can, can, can_

 _We both have demons, that we can't stand  
I love your demons, like devils can  
If you're still seeking an honest man  
And stop deceiving Lord please_

 _Why are you looking down all the wrong roads  
When mine is the heart and the soul of the song  
There may be lovers who hold out their hands but  
He'll never love you like I can, can, can_

 _ **Post-Note: So this is a slightly more recent song request that I received but I've been rewatching season 3 (again, I know, I need help) and it seemed to work for a scene that I've long wanted to rewrite. Don't get me wrong, looking back I love that slow burn they had going, but in typical me fashion I needed a rewrite that propelled us forward at more than a snails pace. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed and thanks so much for reading!**_


	120. Shed a Light

_**A/N: Full disclosure I have not watched the winter finale (but I know what happens and I have thoughts and feelings). This however is a spoiler free modern AU prompted by a reader who asked for a fic where Emma's raising Henry and is in love with her neighbor Killian. There's a misunderstanding and an eventual love confession and it's told from Killian's POV to accommodate some requests for me to write more of those. Inspired by 'Shed a Light' by Robin Schulz and David Guetta.**_

Killian Jones had made many a mistake in his life. He was not the kind of man who believed himself somehow infallible, but he did try and hold close to a sense of honor. His older brother Liam always taught him that to make the wrong choice was forgivable, but only if a man worked to make the right ones in the future.

For the past few years that need to be better and to grow beyond the man he once was had impressed itself more fully in Killian's heart. He could say it was a realization that came organically, that he'd just evolved from the slightly more foolhardy mentality he once had as a younger man, but that would be a lie. The truth was his inspiration for being more came from outside himself in the form of the most entrancing woman he'd ever met and her young son.

One spring day two years ago Killian had been going about his normal routine, not having a clue that his arrival back at his apartment would forever change his world. Meeting Emma Swan catapulted his story in a totally different direction but it all began in a single instant. Killian recalled every last detail of the moment when he first saw Emma and even all this time later he could so easily play back their meeting in all its vivid, remarkable detail.

 _The sign on the elevator door reading that the old contraption was out of order was hardly a shock to Killian. It felt like that warning made an appearance on the monthly, but he still had to force himself to bite back a groan. There were many a thing to like about his apartment, but its spot on an upper floor was not one of them when the lift was out of sorts. Nevertheless he was out of options and as such Killian moved into the stairwell anticipating the climb._

 _What he didn't expect to find was a woman he didn't recognize at the top of the second flight. He couldn't get a good look at her face, not right away, but he could see her golden hair tied back and her lithe frame supporting two boxes both labeled 'miscellaneous.' It was twice as much as any sane person would try to carry at once, but the woman kept moving one foot in front of the other. Her pace might be slow, but there was no doubt in Killian's mind that she could manage. Still he tried to be the gentleman, calling out to her._

" _Can I help you with those, love?" He asked and her green eyes shifted to his as he moved beside her. The pang that struck his gut when their gazes clashed was undeniable and Killian thought for a second that she felt it too but then she shook her head._

" _I'm okay, really." That was code for 'back off' if he'd ever heard it but still he couldn't seem to step away._

" _You're sure? It's no trouble."_

" _I think I've got it." Before this intriguing could get a more thorough refusal out, a young boy of about eight sprang into the stairwell from below interrupting her._

" _Mom, mom, guess what! There's a guy named Archie with a Dalmatian on the first floor and his name is Pongo just like the movie! Can you believe it?"_

 _Learning that this woman was a mother should have effected Killian's attraction to her but he found it didn't. If anything it made him want to know more – namely was there a father in the picture? She wasn't wearing a ring but sometimes people went without them. A thought about how he'd wish a woman like this to always wear his ring if he gave her one crossed his mind and Killian tried to shake the crazy musing away as she responded to her son._

" _Sounds great, kid." The boy bounced around with excitement and then his attention turned to Killian._

" _Who are you?" The question was blunt enough to pull a laugh from Killian's chest._

" _Killian Jones at your service, lad."_

" _You're not from here." The observation was no doubt thanks to Killian's accent. He tended to think it was slipping away given all his years spent in the States but clearly it was not enough to go by unnoticed._

" _Not originally, no. Are you?" The boy shook his head._

" _Nope. We're coming from New York. Which apartment do you live in?" The rapid-fire questions were endearing even if Killian wasn't particularly used to children._

" _3B."_

" _Cool, you're gonna be our neighbor! We're in 3A. Mom says it's because I got 3 A's on my report card last term. I'm Henry by the way." The lad stuck his hand out in introduction taking Killian by surprise. How many kids these days utilized the gesture without parental insistence?_

" _Nice to meet you Henry. I was just offering your Mum some aid but now I see she's got you on her side. A substantial help indeed." Henry's chest puffed out at the compliment._

" _Well we have_ loads _of stuff and it's too much for the two of us to carry especially up all these stairs. Killian can help can't he, Mom?"_

" _Henry, Mr. Jones -," Killian corrected her._

" _Please, call me Killian."_

 _She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes slightly as if trying to study him. The thrill that shot through him when she looked at him was striking but he didn't want the feeling to leave. Killian only hoped she'd like what she saw and that this clearly guarded women might learn to trust him._

"Killian _probably has other things to do."_

" _Actually you're in luck. I'm off today for the holiday. I've nothing but time and a singular expertise at box lugging." Henry laughed at the joke and Killian smiled his way before looking back to his mother. "So what do you say, love?"_

 _Killian noticed the touch of pink that appeared on her cheeks at the endearment, and though he said the word all the time, he thought for the first time about the origins of it and the larger meaning of the term. He'd never given much credence to the concept of love but these nerves he was currently battling with coupled with the excitement pounding through him of being in her presence might be reason to reevaluate._

" _Well thanks. That would actually be really nice of you." Killian took her acceptance of his help as a victory, but he had one last thing he still needed more than anything else._

" _Now, does the fully capable lady who is by no means a damsel in distress have a name?" She bit back a smile as Henry replied for her._

" _Her name's Emma. Emma Swan."_

" _Well it's a pleasure, Swan. Now, let's get the two of you moved in."_

Since that day Killian had been consumed with Emma and his life had quickly made room for both her and Henry. For the first time in a long time Killian felt something inside of him click. He didn't know the full extent of what would come then, but he did know that there was something about Emma that he just couldn't shy away from.

Obviously she was gorgeous, there was no debating that, but Emma's good qualities outweighed any outward beauty she might possess. She was fierce, passionate, and headstrong in a way that most people didn't dare to be. That brain of hers was truly a marvel and for every word out of his mouth she had some kind of quip or retort. Still even at her most sarcastic moments he saw through the walls and the veneer of aloofness. Emma Swan was all heart and inside the guards against the rest of the world was a person who felt and understood more than anyone else he knew.

Emma was also arguably the best mother in the world. There were no other examples Killian could look to of a parent who fought harder for her child. Raising Henry alone had not been easy, and Killian came to discover that Emma's personal trials were even harder. She'd had Henry at only eighteen after a life in the foster system and had been incarcerated at the time of his birth. Yet Emma struggled through her burdens and still made it to the other side to do right by her boy. Now they had far more stability, but Killian knew the most impactful gift Emma could ever give Henry was that undying love and drive to protect her son.

What started then as infatuation on Killian's part grew to more, and much of that was thanks to his own bond with Henry. The lad was nearly as sharp as his mother, and though he was a bit more predisposed to dreaming (not having the same jaded edge of Emma), Henry had his mother's knack for seeing through bullshit. To have Henry's trust then and to earn it rather quickly in the first few months of their living in the apartment just across the hall was a helpful stamp of approval when it came to Emma.

A full year passed before anything more than friendship was touched upon between Emma and Killian but finally he got up the courage to ask her to dinner. He was petrified that she would turn him down but in that typical way of hers she only smirked and asked him what had taken him so long. He hadn't a rational answer for her but Killian knew that now that he had his chance he wouldn't waste it.

Things had gone fantastically well from that point forward and despite some initial hesitation from Emma, they found a rhythm that worked not only for them but for Henry too. Killian considered himself the luckiest man alive to have stumbled upon a chance like this with Emma and her son, and he considered them his family in every way already. He just needed to find a way to ask Emma for the chance to make that status official.

The only question then was when he should ask Emma. He'd been certain of his love for her well before they ever started dating, and all it took was one date to know that their chemistry before would be so much more than that. A week into their finally being together Killian pulled out his late mother's ring from the back storage closet in his apartment, but still he'd given it time. He never wanted to push Emma too far and up to this point he'd been good about that, sensing when she was ready and when action on his part would only put up a defense.

So it shocked him last night when suddenly the walls were erected again. He'd waited and waited for what felt like a bloody eternity to tell Emma that he loved her and last night he did only for her to completely shut down on him. He knew in his heart that she felt the same way, most of the time Emma was an open book when it came to her feelings and her wants, but he'd clearly been off base last night and when he left for the evening to come back here to his own apartment he felt bewildered and uncertain.

It was the single worst sensation Killian had ever experienced. It felt like he was losing Emma and the prospect of that possibility was ripping him apart. He didn't want a life without her and her son in it, and all night he'd tossed and turned trying to figure out a way to make it better. Killian didn't want to take his words back because he'd promised Emma he would never lie to her, but damn it they could return to slow if that was what she wanted. He had forever to give as long as she would have him.

"This is madness. I have to get myself together."

Killian spoke the words into empty space hours after the sun had come up. No one was in his apartment with him and that only added to his discomfort. He was losing it but he also didn't have any answers on how to approach Emma yet, so instead of trying he got himself dressed and headed out into the chill of the December weather outside.

The bitter cold didn't resonate with him as he moved about outside unsure of where he was actually going. All Killian knew was that he couldn't bear to stop until he'd gotten a better idea of what to do next. He meandered through the streets of this city that he'd lived in for a while now but never truly loved until the past few years.

With Emma and Henry in his life, Killian discovered all sorts of wonders in this concrete jungle like which book store was the best and bearing Emma's seal of approval, or which movie theater gave the right ratio of butter to popcorn to satisfy the Swans. He knew where Henry's doctor's office was and the best route to get the lad to and from school in any kind of weather or traffic. Killian knew Emma hated pizza from Bareli's and loved it from Giovanni's and that she and Henry never let a month pass by where they didn't get lo mein and dumplings from General Cho's up the block.

Knowing all that he did and having all of these memories was something Killian would never trade away but this morning all that knowledge was painful. Every corner of their neighborhood and the streets beyond reminded him of Emma in some way or other. Killian couldn't escape the feeling of missing her or wondering if everything they had was ruined now. If it was then the best part of his life - the best days he'd ever had - would be behind him too and that left a hollow pit in his stomach that couldn't be erased.

Eventually Killian gave up on trying to avoid and he embraced the reality that there would be no reprieve from this sense of hurt. He moved from the frigid temps outside to the inside of the diner that he frequented every day (usually with Emma and Henry in tow) and when he did he felt a sharp stab of pain as he realized his usual order today might not be necessary. Instead of two coffees and some accompanying pastries, he only needed one, but he couldn't bear to say that and instead paid for everything all the same.

The short walk back to his apartment brought no more clarity until the very last moment when he came face to face with the elevator that was broken yet again.

"Well isn't that bloody fantastic?" Killian muttered to himself, heading through the door to the stairwell only to run into Henry.

"Killian, there you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

"Everything all right, lad?"

"It's Mom. I think something's wrong."

Killian's heart clutched in his chest at the thought that something bad might have happened to Emma. Henry didn't looked panicked so Killian gathered that it probably wasn't life threatening, but whatever it was Killian wanted to fix it. Before he could ask for more information, however, Henry noticed the cup in his hand of coffee and smiled.

"Oh good is that for Mom?"

"Um… aye, and these are for you." Henry handed the bag of donut holes to Henry and the lad grinned at his haul before looking thoughtfully back at the coffee cup.

"Mom didn't have any coffee this morning and when I tried to make her some cocoa she barely touched it. You know Mom, she never turns down cocoa."

Killian did know Emma and that was a sign of something being off. She had a real sweet tooth and a love of hot chocolate that outdid most infatuations in this world. Killian only wondered if she was struggling this morning for the same reasons he was. Perhaps she was hurting over last night too. There was only one way to find out: he had to confront her and he had to do it as soon as he could procure a moment alone with her.

"Can you make sure she's okay for me? I'm going to the movies with Grace and her Dad but I don't want to go if Mom needs me."

Killian immediately moved to reassure Henry that it would all be okay in the end and that he should have fun. Henry gave him a final look before departing that made Killian wonder at his own transparency but eventually Henry said goodbye and good luck. Killian clung tightly to the wish for he was in need of some luck right now.

Killian ascended the staircase not feeling the fatigue of the action because he was too hyped up on adrenaline and the lingering anxiety to feel much of anything else. He moved down the hall and then paused, wondering how to handle this. Should he move with caution and be guarded as Emma was or should he side with the truth and stick to it no matter what?

He was deciding between the two when her door suddenly opened revealing Emma looking a little dazed and then very surprised. Given Henry's testimonial from before he half expected her to appear a mess, but she was the opposite, looking stunning as always. Her hand came up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear in that nervous way of hers and then she spoke.

"Killian, hi."

His name on her lips sounded out like the best of music to his ears, and Killian couldn't tell if it was real or wishful thinking that she sounded happy to see him. Her expression was filled with emotion, but he himself was too discombobulated to get a good read.

"Is one of those for me?"

Her voice was softer as she looked at the coffees in his hand and wordlessly he nodded. Emma gave him a small smile and it stole his breath away with its sweetness and she moved to the side of the doorway to give him room to enter. Killian walked in immediately and put the drinks he'd procured for them on the counter. He was still trying to get a grip when she started talking again.

"Listen, about last night -," He blurted out his own thoughts before she could say more.

"What are we doing, Swan?" Emma was clearly thrown off by the direct question.

"What?"

"I mean this dance we've been partaking in. It's been going on for some time and I don't… I can't stand not knowing. It's like I'm wandering in the bloody dark unsure of which ways up! I told you that I love you and you shut me out-,"

"You never said that!" Killian's brow rose at her determined assertion.

"Of course I did. Last night."

"No you said that this was 'hopefully a forever kind of arrangement' and that Henry and I mean more to you than anything but you never said you love me."

Her usually sad attempt at an accent was even worse in a moment like this and if Killian weren't so wrung out with emotion he'd laugh at the impression. Instead he retraced everything he'd said last night in his mind and he realized that as intent as he'd been to tell her he loved her he never actually found that word. This confused him because where he thought Emma was running away before, she now appeared upset that he _hadn't_ said it.

"Aye but then you froze up."

"Of course I did, because I'm in love with you! One second things were going great and then you were saying you wanted us to be your family without so much as acknowledging love. For all I knew you were in this for the convenience or because of the way you care about Henry."

Killian's heart skipped almost painfully at the mention of her loving him. He'd been dreaming for what felt like an eternity for a day when she would say those words to him but he'd never imagined they would come like this. Still he soldiered on, wanting to understand fully before he moved back to that blessed, newfound truth.

"Convenience? Weren't you the one who said dating a single Mum was a task too daunting for me to ever face?" Emma looked remorseful at those words from the early days of their knowing each other but she pressed on.

"That was stupid and you know it. I was pushing you away back then and spewing any kind of excuses I could so I wouldn't get hurt."

"Are you saying that my confession last night hurt you because you were under the assumption that this _isn't_ love for me?"

Emma's mouth opened to say something but no words came out. She was panicking and he could see it. Instead of waiting for her answer Killian stepped forward and took her into his arms, molding their bodies together in that same delicious way that he always wanted to when she was near. They fit together perfectly as if designed to be together and when he held Emma like this Killian felt his whole world right itself. The dizzying effect of his earlier worry was eradicated when she was here where she belonged.

"Emma Swan there has never and will never be another woman I love the way I love you. Love doesn't even feel like a strong enough word, but it's all I have to give along with my heart, which has been yours since the start."

"You love me?" Emma asked and Killian nodded about to go off more about how much but in a second she'd pulled him down to her, their lips crashing together in a heated interplay.

All of the discontent and sadness of before bubbled over into something all together more consuming and intoxicating. His whole body flooded with warmth and love and hope. Emma _loved_ him, and there was nothing more spectacular to be had in this life than her love. This kiss brought all of that gratefulness and joy to the surface. It was heated and filled with yearning but there was something deeper too. Killian knew they'd turned the corner and suddenly all those dreams he had about the future could be real again in a way they couldn't be only minutes ago.

"I didn't mean to make you doubt my feelings when I included Henry, love. I just wanted you to know that he means the world to me too. You and him are a team and my hope is that someday that team could grow to include me too."

Killian said the words when he pulled back as he cupped Emma's cheek affectionately. He could see the unshed tears in his Swan's eyes and though they were ones of relief and happiness they still tugged at a place deep inside of him, the part that wanted to protect her no matter what and to belong to her and this family always.

"You're already on it. You have been for a long time."

Killian closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Emma's trying to ground himself in that life-affirming truth. Somehow the thing he wanted most was in his grasp, this thing between him and Emma was real, and he hardly knew how to handle it. He felt Emma's fingers move lightly up and down his cheek and finally he spoke again opening his eyes to look at her.

"In the interest of full disclosure from this point on I feel it my duty to tell you that someday soon I'd like to make that official. I'll be asking you for now and always but in a way befitting a woman like you, Swan." Emma hummed a contented sound at the mention of a proposal coming and it made him impossibly happier in turn.

"Maybe you could do that a little faster than you got to 'I love you.'" Killian laughed.

"Oh that's a given, love."

"Good."

Emma pulled him down for another kiss but she pulled back before he expected her to, cutting him off from that zinging pleasure all too soon. When she spoke again her voice was all sultry gravel and heated innuendo and it left him completely ensnared in all things Emma.

"You know Henry's gone for the day, and since you _love_ me, I'm thinking it might be time we reevaluate that rule of ours…"

The rule in question was one both of them agreed to from the start of this romantic relationship in which all non child-appropriate interaction would take place in his apartment. He'd never had Emma here before in her bed, and the idea that he could have that now was a temptation like no other.

"Your heart's desire, Emma. I promise that's all I want you to have." Emma beamed at his words. She'd told him a few times now that she liked the way he put things, but this was his simplest truth.

"I love you." With those three words repeated again Killian was lost and he spent the morning and into the afternoon breaking that cardinal rule with Emma in the best of ways.

They eventually had to return to the way things usually were when Henry came home, but their once ordinary state didn't last long. It took only a week for Killian to ask Emma to marry him and he had Henry's blessing and his help to do so. His Swan of course said yes and they were married shortly there after.

On that day, Killian, Emma, and Henry became a real family and it wasn't only Emma who took Killian's last name but Henry too. They found a house and a dog to go along with this new chapter in their lives and as the years went on a few new additions came to the Jones clan. And through it all, through every winding turn in that happily ever after, Killian knew that all of his happiness was thanks to Emma. She had shed a light on his once dark world and left beauty in its wake and for that reason he would always consider her his savior.

….

 _Why are you keeping me at a distance?_

 _All that I'm asking for is forgiveness_

 _Are you even listening? Am I talking to myself again?_

 _I keep on staring up at the ceiling_

 _Waiting for you to give me some kind of reason_

 _Are you even listening? Am I talking to myself again?_

 _And I know you don't owe me your love_

 _And I know that you don't owe me nothing at all_

 _Ain't no way I'm giving up on you_

 _Don't leave me here in the dark when it's hard to see_

 _Show me your heart, shed a light on me_

 _If you love me, say so, If you love me, say so_

 _You know I can't live without you, I'm on my knees_

 _Where are you now? Shed a light on me_

 _If you love me, say so, If you love me, say so_

 _Why when I call, you never answer?_

 _I'll try to talk, you keep on dancing_

 _I can feel you on my skin, but am I only dancing with the wind?_

 _And I know you don't owe me your love_

 _And I know that you don't owe me nothing at all_

 _Ain't no way I'm giving up on you_

 _Don't leave me here in the dark when it's hard to see_

 _Show me your heart, shed a light on me_

 _If you love me, say so, If you love me, say so_

 _If you love me, say something_

 _You know I can't live without you, I'm on my knees_

 _Where are you now? Shed a light on me_

 _If you love me, say so, If you love me, say so_

 _Shed a light, shed a light on me_

 _Shed a light, shed a light on me_

 _Don't leave me here in the dark when it's hard to see_

 _Show me your heart, shed a light on me_

 _If you love me, say so, If you love me, say so_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it. I love this song so much and I was so happy when I found it because it sparked an idea that allowed me to finally get this prompt written out. Thank you so much to those two lovely readers and to all of you for reading this. Hope you all have a great rest of your Monday!**_


	121. Sleep Without You

_**A/N: Future based fic where Emma's gone out for a night and Killian is at home waiting for her. It's smuff and sweet enough to get me through this dragging Wednesday. A reader recently asked me for, and I'm quoting here, 'every love song in country music.' Clearly that's an impossible task… but I can certainly add a few more and today's addition is Brett Young's 'Sleep Without You.'**_

" _You're sure you don't have a problem with this?"_

Killian grinned at the question Emma asked from within the bathroom. She had posed the same exact query ten times in the past hour or so but he didn't make mention of that. She seemed uncertain enough about going out tonight as it was, and after everything Emma deserved an evening away with no villains or bad guys or forces of evil banging down their door.

"A night of pizza, the video box, and pranking your father with Henry. I think I can manage." Emma popped her head out of the bathroom at that.

"I'm sorry what was that last part?" Killian shrugged, knowing that if his poker face caved even a little she'd be onto him.

"Time hasn't done much in terms of familiarizing me with that gaming contraption, Swan. Perhaps my language is a little off." Emma smirked before removing herself again.

"Sure it is. Look I'm not worried about you and Henry, you two can hold down the fort while I'm gone. Its just…"

Killian could hear the lingering resistance to leaving in Emma's voice and he wanted to soothe it away. He'd never prefer a night spent away from Emma but he could tell that this was needed. Besides, her mother had it in her head that the lack of 'girl's night' in this town was 'criminal.' Killian asked David about any actual laws regarding the phenomena and Emma's father just laughed, but he assumed then that Snow's hyperbole was just a testament to the need for such an evening.

"Just what, Swan?"

Killian asked the question but then Emma walked out looking every bit the part of a tempting siren. It was work to keep his jaw form dropping at the sight of his Swan like this, but he did his best. Emma must have read him though for she looked back down at herself in the black dress and then glanced back at him a little uncertain.

"Is it too much?"

Killian moved forward instinctively, his hook tracing the curve of her hip as his hand moved around to her back to pull her further against him. He allowed himself to feel her perfect frame fitted so well against him and to take in the wideness of her sparkling jade colored green eyes and the way her golden hair was down and flowing around her shoulders. Nothing had ever affected him like Emma, not in all his years of living, and Killian was entirely certain that there would never be another person to compare.

"Aye it's too much. Seeing you like this makes me want to keep you here, in this room, all night." Emma blushed at the compliment but shook her head and pressed her hand against his chest.

"My Mom will kill you if you try. It's not bad right?"

Emma stepped away and turned around and Killian heard himself gulp audibly. His eyes tracked the motion and scanned every inch of her and though this was a modest dress in this realm it didn't matter to him. He was always going to be attracted to Emma no matter what she wore. In a garment like this though there was just a little less left up to the imagination leaving him with visions of stripping it off of her. Those, however, would have to wait.

"You look stunning, Swan." Emma smiled at him and returned once more to press a kiss to his lips lightly. "I can see you're still doubting. What's wrong, love?"

"It's nothing really. Everyone else just keeps saying that we need this, as if girl's night is some magic cure-all to life's problems. But I don't _need_ anything. I love where we are. I love what we have already."

Killian's heart filled with pride at the words. To know that Emma was happy in this life she shared with him was a true gift and not something to ever be taken for granted. They'd climbed many a mountain and weathered a good number of storms to get to this kind of peace and much as he might like to enable her want to stay home and enjoy their own moments and the ones she shared with Henry, he knew it was for the best for Emma to go. She'd been dreaming of normal for eons and this was her shot at something more resembling that.

He took her hand in his gently and raised it to his mouth for a kiss, noting the ring he'd given Emma when he asked her to marry him only a few weeks ago. The glimmering stone set on the golden band now resting on her finger erased Killian's slight worries about her leaving tonight. They could handle the separation. They'd faced far worse ones before after all and in the end she'd always find him and he'd find her too.

"I promise you, love, that all of this will still be here when you return." Emma smiled at him, her hand coming to cup his cheek lovingly.

"I know."

Two simple words, but the trust and faith in them said more than a more verbose proclamation ever could have. It told him that Emma not only believed he would be here when she returned but that he would protect her son and their home and ensure their safety too. They stayed there a moment, suspended in a world with only the two of them and that promise, but the moment did eventually have to break and when it did Killian was a little sad to see it go. He firmed up his resolve, however, and schooled his features so Emma wouldn't have any reason not to go and enjoy herself.

"Will it be a full evening then, love?" Emma groaned and nodded as she grabbed her things.

"If Mom's plan holds we'll be out late. I'll try not to wake you when I get in."

Killian's brow furrowed at the comment. Did Emma actually think he was going to go to sleep without her tonight? Apparently so. Just as he was about to correct that incorrect assumption, however, Emma got a text telling her it was time. Things moved quickly from there with her saying goodbye to Henry downstairs and giving Killian one last kiss goodbye. Then Emma was gone and Killian and Henry were left with a night of their own devices.

"So what do you think we should do first: order pizza or prank Grandpa?"

Killian grinned at the options. He and Henry had found a good footing for their relationship and one of the touchstones was giving David just a wee bit of grief in the form of slightly less than real complaint calls to the sheriff's office or relocating the Prince's truck from time to time. In moments when Killian wondered if he should feel guilty about it he reminded himself that it was David who kept leaving his keys at the floor of that contraption despite the previous attempts to move it. Besides, it always ended well with David getting more chances to bond with his grandson.

"You're still in, lad? I assumed you might try and see Violet tonight now that your mother's gone." Henry shook his head.

"Violet's got her own girls night going." Killian's brow rose at the statement.

"This is a common activity in this realm then?" Henry shrugged.

"Apparently. Not like I would know though. I just go with what Violet tells me."

Killian nodded and then left it up to Henry what he wanted to do first. In the end Henry decided to show his grandfather a bit of mercy and went with the pizza and showing Killian more of the movies he was in desperate need of viewing. Since Killian knew David was likely home with little Neal alone with nothing to do he invited his soon to be father-in-law as well. Might as well share the wealth of Killian's ignorant questions about these films that everyone seemed so fond of.

"So no one took your offer up to stage a fake fight at Granny's this time?" David asked when he got to the house with Neal in one arm and pizza in the other. Killian scoffed as if David was completely out of bounds to assume any sort of mischief was considered at the same time that Neal reached for him. Killian accepted the little lad in his arms, far more assured that he could manage holding him than he had been even a few weeks before.

"Have I ever come across as the kind of man who gives up easily, mate?" David laughed and shook his head.

"Not really, no." Killian chuckled to himself thinking about how different things were from whence they'd began. Once upon a time Emma's father had tried to scare Killian away from her. Now they were soon to be family. It was quite the transformation.

"Grandpa what do you think. Do we finally make Killian face a wookie or the mob?" Killian glanced at the two covers one reading _Star Wars_ , a tale he was a bit more familiar with, and the other boasting _The Godfather_. Henry had mentioned that one a time or two as well but David only laughed.

"Let's go with wookies. Neal might be a little too young for _The Godfather_."

Killian looked down to the little prince who was completely oblivious to any movie considerations, instead focusing on the chain around Killian's neck. Killian almost envied him because even if these movies were enjoyable, Killian would no doubt be confused and without Emma to explain it to him he'd miss most of the context behind it. No matter, he'd manage and it would be a good way to spend the time until his Swan's return.

One film blended into another until finally it was an hour late enough for David to take Neal back home and for Henry to retire to his room. Henry headed upstairs but Killian didn't let the pull of his own fatigue win out. He was going to wait for Emma no matter what the hour of her arrival back home.

He attempted to fill the time with a number of things. Cleaning the bit of mess in the kitchen and living room went faster than expected, then he tried getting through a few of the books Belle had recommended to him recently. They were fine but not enthralling enough to really draw him in. With every one of them he'd get a few pages in and his thoughts would wander back to Emma and where she was tonight.

Killian genuinely hoped that whatever they'd decided to do Emma was having fun. His Swan liked to claim that she had plenty of amusement in her life already but he knew she didn't get enough opportunity to truly relax and that try as he might Killian couldn't fulfill every need she might have in cutting loose.

That being said Emma was also hesitant about this evening with her mother and some of the other ladies in town. According to Emma there had been a girl's night previously held during the first curse where no one knew the full extent of who they were and what their ties to each other might be. Emma also had not attended said adventure. Something about a crisis at the station though Killian would wager that his Swan at that time, guarded as she still was, wouldn't have been particularly entranced with the idea regardless.

Now things were different. Far more of the story had been revealed and whole tales of adventure and loss had been shared between then and now but still Emma had hesitations. Killian could readily understand why. Before Storybrooke Emma hadn't had any friends. She'd been alone in almost every way and her one real taste of female friendship ended up being with her mother. The situation then was understandably complex.

Eventually Killian stopped pretending to read, moving from the couch to the calm, balmy night outside. The swing that had been put in on the front porch was a quiet enough place giving him the chance not only to see Emma approaching, but to take in the night around him. Killian had spent centuries staring up at stars in the night when on the Jolly and though it wasn't quite the same when land bound comfort still came from the action.

Tonight as he looked up there his mind wandered in the way it usually did, towards Emma and the future. He was anxious to be married to her but at the same time he didn't like time passing too quickly. There was no telling how long this lull in action would last and wishing for the next step to be here already put this fantastic window of peace that they did have at risk. Besides, it was easy to be patient about getting Emma down the aisle and seeing about expanding their family when things were as good as they were right now. There weren't secrets or worries keeping distance between Killian and his love and for that he was more grateful than he could ever say.

" _Killian?"_

The whisper of Emma's voice came from inside the house some time later and he swore he was hearing things, but then there came the telltale sound of footsteps on the hardwood. He got up from his spot on the porch and went back inside to see Emma there staring back at him confused. Killian locked the door and went up to her as quietly as he could and took her hand in his, leading her back to their room, knowing the conversation should be had privately so as not to disturb Henry.

"You're home, love." Emma nodded and he realized that she must have _poofed_ herself back in instead of taking a more conventional drive home.

"Yeah. What were you doing outside? Is everything all right?"

Despite the worry lines on her face Emma was just as radiant as she'd been when leaving. Maybe even more so with the flush of pink on her cheeks from a night of exertion and her curls slightly looser than they were before she left.

"Everything's fine, Emma."

Emma looked at the clock on the bedside table as Killian stripped off his clothes from the day. When she turned back she stood there silent for a moment taking him in. Her appreciation was apparent and it grew with every scrap he took off of himself. Killian grinned at her reaction loving that this chemistry between them never seemed to fade away, not even when they'd been living together some time and had spent many a night like this before.

"It's after one. Why are you awake?"

Killian moved to help Emma out of her dress as she stuttered out her question and he hummed happily when his fingers across her skin made her shiver in anticipation. Gods she was perfect, and now she was home with him right where he wanted her most.

"I wasn't about to sleep without you, love."

Emma stared at him curiously but to him it was the most rational of statements. This whole place was filled with traces of Emma. The scent of her hair on the pillow case, the exact yellow sheets she'd picked because it reminded her of sunshine, the bizarre little dancing flower that was on the windowsill that made her smile every morning: all of it was shroud in Emma, even the things that had once only belonged to him. To have her then so close and to not hold her in his arms… it simply wasn't an option. He'd toss and turn all night anyway, so why waste the energy when he could find his peace when she came home?

"Killian that's crazy. It's late and you have a shift with Dad in the morning. We've had nights before where…"

It seemed to dawn on Emma then that they hadn't actually had a night where he went to sleep without her. As she was piecing it together, however, Killian reached up to brush a piece of her hair back behind her ear, ensuring that her green eyes weren't obstructed from his blue ones as he said this next part.

"Sleep never comes as easily without you, Swan, so when we moved in together I simply stopped trying to find it when you aren't beside me." Emma smiled at that warmly, her hand resting against his chest tracing a mindless pattern against his skin.

"You should have told me. I would have -," Killian kissed Emma, thus distracting her from that line of thinking and maneuvering her back to the bed. When she was underneath him, spread out in all her glory and completely bared to him he finally responded.

"Did you have a good time?" Emma nodded and he smiled. "That's why I didn't tell you. There's no need for you to be rushing home when we've still more than enough time."

Dismissing the conversation with a kiss, Killian was glad to find Emma just as eager as he was. She arched closer, her hands running over him in a tantalizingly distracting way that he sought to even out. The trace of his hand lower to her opened legs was purposely slow and teasing and Emma gasped when he finally made contact with her waiting sex. His senses were flooded with Emma when she made the sound and his eyes tried to take in every inch of her as he pulled back. Gods she was perfection and he was a lucky man indeed.

"I do believe precautions are in order, Swan."

Emma blinked up at him through the haze of her pleasure and then she flicked her wrist, a burst of white emitting towards the doorway and sealing around the perimeter of the room. It filled him with satisfaction to see Emma's easy command over her powers despite all the drama surrounding them recently. She had her control again and her magic was her own just as it always should have been.

"Well done, love. Now an evening away made me miss you. Was I the only one suffering?"

Emma wasn't readily able to get a reply out and Killian purposely made it harder, trailing kisses from her neck down to her breasts and then lower and lower so his mouth could eventually join his hand in giving her pleasure. He wouldn't give her what she wanted until she found her words though and when she realized that she spoke in a breathy, lust-filled tone.

"You weren't alone. I missed you too. I even ordered rum thinking it would help."

He'd tasted the rum on her tongue only moments ago but the thought that Emma had ordered his favorite libation simply to keep a part of him close sent a profound sense of need through him. Need to have and claim her, need to love her, and need to watch her fall apart with passion and pleasure. He set about getting that with meticulously chosen nips and sucks and licks against her clit and the seam of her sex and finally Emma fell over into bliss, leaving him even hungrier than he'd been before.

When Emma realized Killian wasn't going to pull away and that he intended to have more of her responses and her desire her hands moved from where they'd once fisted the sheets to thread through his hair. Her hold bordered on painful but it just barely stayed at pressure and Killian fed off of that too, knowing Emma trusted him and needed him so desperately and dearly. With a deliberate suck of her clit she was lost again and he was left to bask in the feeling of completion that came from giving Emma everything he could.

"I don't know how to feel about all of this," Emma said when Killian had risen over her again and he paused, wanting to understand her confusion. When she smiled, however, Killian's worries were eased. Whatever she was about to say it would be all right.

"I came home tonight thinking that despite the fun I had I would be good with not having girl's night for a while. Now I'm seeing what I get to come back to and I'm torn."

Killian grunted at the claim as he thrust inside her, prompting a moan from Emma that she didn't bother holding back on. He closed his eyes thanking the Gods for that spell of hers and the fact that neither of them had to downplay a single part of what they felt. Then he looked back at Emma and told her point blank what his thoughts were on her conflicted feeling.

"There's no need to go away to have this, Emma. Or have you forgotten all of the other night we've shared this bed together." Emma grinned, giving away the mischief of her earlier statement. He'd been had, but it was all for a purpose. She was hoping to rile him up and see where his worked up state would take them.

"I haven't forgotten per se… but it wouldn't hurt if you'd remind me, _Captain_."

That was the exact right button to push and she knew it. If his Emma wanted roughish tonight she'd get it. Not that she minded, if anything Emma seemed just as close to heaven as he was with her in his arms clenching underneath him. It was all so maddeningly perfect, the sensations all sublime, and when Emma gave way to that pleasure he had to follow just as he always did when it came to her.

A while later as they lay there together spent and happy, Emma's eyes found his and her smile grew. It was in these moments, when Emma was without care or worry and when the light shone in her eyes and her smile was strong and sure that she was the most beautiful. And somehow Killian was a lucky enough bastard to get to see this almost every night.

"I love you, Killian." Killian hummed out a sound of affirmation at her words, the same four words she told him every night before they went to bed.

"And I love you, Emma. Always."

With that they both gave way to sleep, and though Emma was right and Killian did have an early morning the next day, he didn't feel anything less than wonderful when the sun rose. For he had Emma beside him and in his life for the long haul, and that at the end of the day, was the best of happy endings he could ever wish for.

…

 _Oh babe  
Never thought I would be like this  
Wide awake waitin' on a goodnight kiss  
Sippin' ninety proof  
Talkin' to the moon_

 _Coutin' down the hours till its two AM  
Never thought I would be like this  
But as long as the night ends with you in a yellow cab shootin' me a text sayin'  
Comin' home soon_

 _As long as I can bet on ya crawlin' into bed after slippin' out ya high heel shoes  
I ain't lyin' sayin' havin' a good time  
Out with your girls  
Girl do what you do  
No matter how late  
Baby I'll be stayin' up  
I can't sleep without you_

 _I'd be tossin' and turnin' all night babe  
From the smell of your hair on the pillow case  
Even if I tried without you by my side I'd be dreamin with my eyes open  
I'd be tossin' and turnin' all night babe  
But as long as the night ends with you in a yellow cab shootin' me a text sayin'  
Comin' home soon_

 _As long as I can bet on ya crawlin' into bed after slippin' out ya high heel shoes  
I ain't lyin sayin havin a good time  
Out with your girls, girl do what you do  
No matter how late  
Baby I'll be stayin' up  
I can't sleep without you, no  
I can't sleep without you, no, no_

 _I bet that DJ'S playin' your song  
And your carryin' on  
Baby I love the thought of that long as I know I'm the one you're comin home to  
But as long as the night ends with you in a yellow cab shootin' me a text sayin'  
Comin' home soon_

 _As long as I can bet on ya crawlin' into bed after slippin' out ya high heel shoes  
I ain't lyin sayin havin a good time  
Out with your girls, girl do what you do  
No matter how late  
Baby I'll be stayin' up  
I can't sleep without you_

 _Ya no matter how late I'll be stayin up I can't sleep without you no  
Can't sleep without you  
I can't sleep without you  
Never thought I would be like this  
Just wide awake waitin' on a goodnight kiss_

 _ **Post-Note: So first of all thank you to my reader for asking for more country music. It enabled me to write this piece of smuff, which is so necessary today. What is it about December (other than the obvious holiday considerations) that is just so crazy? Anyway thank you all for reading and I hope that wherever you are in your Wednesday that this made it better in some small way!**_


	122. It Goes Like This

_**A/N: A reader asked me back in October for a modern AU from Killian's POV where Killian is a songwriter struggling to find the music right now. Meeting Emma changes things of course, but my reader was very specific: this fic is love at first sight in all ways, fluff and smut to the highest caliber. Hopefully this fits the bill. Inspired by the song 'It Goes Like This' by Thomas Rhett. Rated M.**_

 _Will: Any updates on the new songs?_

Killian stared at the text for an indiscernible amount of time. It could have been two seconds or two hours. All he knew was that he didn't have a favorable answer for Will, Robin, or Graham, who were all expecting something – nay, _anything_ – from him in terms of this next album.

Whatever people said about success in music, about the pressures and the pitfalls, it was true. A first hit was a taste of real success but finding the words and the music for a next outing was daunting. Killian had been struggling with even deciding on a thought to develop for weeks now. The truth was he was too discombobulated and too unsure on whether or not he even wanted to continue this.

The music of course was a given. Killian had known since he was nothing but a boy that he wanted to play, but being the front man of a band… well that was another thing entirely, especially when it involved fans and press and 'will they/won't they' speculation on whether they could reproduce the best parts of the first album. The pressure was real and the spotlight was on them, or rather on Killian, who was supposed to be the lead songwriter but couldn't find a single arrangement that felt like anything more than complete rubbish.

Killian was about to call it a day and send a text saying he had a title for the next album (aptly titled 'Total Fucking Joke') when the locks to his apartment door unlatched and the voice of his best mate filled the room.

"So are you alive, or is this the part where I call the EMTs to revive our resident vegetable?" Killian felt the pull of a smile come at David's jest and it was a strange sensation. _Shit_ how long had it been since he'd smiled or laughed? Thinking back he was probably going on a month and that was bloody embarrassing.

"I see you're as charming as ever, mate."

David moved into the living room where he found Killian and though there wasn't a substantial amount of surprise in his friend's face, there was definitely pity and a fair amount of worry. Still David tossed Killian a bag that he guessed had food in it given the logo from his favorite diner. Not that Killian was especially hungry. He never could seem to find an appetite when the music wasn't on his side. He still thanked Dave all the same and attempted to eat a bit if only to put his friend at ease. He had about a minute of quiet though before David laid it all out there.

"Listen, Killian, this isn't working. You sitting in this apartment avoiding sunlight, crowds, and the real world is not going to get you where you want to go. You know how people write music? They _live_. That's where inspiration comes from and this…" David looked around at the sorry state of the loft around them and then back at Killian, "This is not living. It's some weird bastardization of semi-survival."

Killian blinked at his friend in that moment. David Nolan was a lot of things, but overly critical was not one of them. Usually his best mate (and manager) was laid back and carefree, trusting Killian's process in full, but the look on David's face now was anything but confident. There was a fair bit of concern, a discernable level of frustration, and something that looked a lot like pity.

That especially was the final straw. The last thing he needed was anyone to feel sorry for him. If it got to that then he really would be the has-been who couldn't deliver on a sophomore album that the critics claimed he was. David's words served as a force to make Killian really take stock of himself and his actions these past few weeks, and the evidence of his own spiral was fairly damning. The place might not be a _total_ mess (thanks to the maid service that had been in here only yesterday) but he couldn't say the same for himself. He was in desperate need of a shower, a decent meal, and as David said the presence of other human beings.

"If anyone asks this never happened." David chuckled, and Killian could see the tension in his friend's shoulders subside. He probably expected a fight from Killian, but Killian was man enough to know when he was wrong, and when he might need a little help from people who were more clear-minded.

"Deal. I never witnessed this train wreck made real. But we'll need a cover story. What do you think, yoga retreat or rehab?"

"Fuck off."

Killian grumbled the words out but he had to admit it was funny, or that it would be eventually. If and when he ever got out of this undeniable funk, he'd appreciate Dave's wit again. Until then though he'd remain angry and disgruntled. It was his prerogative as a struggling artist after all.

By the time he was done greeting the day (or rather night) with a shower and some actually clean clothes, David had a plan in place. They were off to somewhere completely foreign to both of them on the other side of the city. The hope on David's part was that the newness would zap some creative juices into working.

"And you really think that will help?" David shrugged at Killian's question.

"I think nothing could possibly be worse than whatever you were doing before." Killian conceded that was a fair point and they headed out, instructing the driver on the given location.

When David said it was on the other side of the city, he was right, and Killian couldn't actually recall if he'd ever been anywhere even remotely in this area. He liked it though, even if it boasted a slightly harder edge than the cushy place he'd picked to live after the money from going platinum cleared the bank. There was something about it that felt realer, and though he wouldn't say he felt particularly inspired, he did feel _something_ , which was already an improvement.

Despite the unassuming façade of the place Dave had scouted, it was packed inside. The music was solid, the atmosphere lively, but it was mostly the transformation from outside those doors to inside that was so noticeable. What looked like a regular bar front outside gave way to a speakeasy-like arrangement inside that was intriguing but still not pompous enough to leave the place crawling with tourists or the affluently wealthy.

With a little work they made it to the bar and though Killian hadn't felt the weight of strangers' stares, he knew a time would come when questioning eyes found him. For now at least no one recognized him, and he kind of hoped that would keep up for the rest of the evening. His dream of that began to crack however when the bartender's eyes lit up in his presence.

"Hey are you -,"

"Very in need of some rum, mate? Aye. Thanks for inquiring." The guy nodded, but Killian could see the glimmer of recognition. He greatly valued the man's calm though and if he could manage to keep this tidbit to himself, Killian and David would be leaving a rather large tip for the assistance.

"I still don't get how you drink it straight like that. Never any change up. Would it kill you to have a beer?"

"I've never been very into settling." David laughed almost manically and Killian looked at his friend, truly curious.

"Sorry, it's just you said that with such a straight face. You just spent all that time slowly withering away, alone and honestly kind of pathetic, but you can't settle for beer?" Killian scratched behind his ear.

"I guess when you put it like that…"

Whatever words were going to come next died in an instant when he spotted someone across the room who stole every ounce of attention from him. The woman wore a red dress, which highlighted every curve and every delicate line of her body. She had blonde hair hanging with noticeable curls, but the most entrancing part of everything was her eyes. Killian couldn't make out the exact color from here, but the way they complimented her knowing smile that she shot the bartender stole his breath away. Suddenly the room was falling out of focus and all that remained was this woman, who had yet to see him. Gods how he wanted her to see him. Killian was actually sure he'd do anything it took to get her there.

"You all right there, Jones?" Killian's eyes never left the woman's face as David asked the question. Killian didn't get the chance to respond though, not when that divine creature chose that moment to look his way.

Their glances met and it was like suddenly everything in his world made sense again. The fatigue of worry and the stress of not being enough was all forgotten. He felt revitalized, alive in a way that he hadn't achieved in the entirety of his life, and his heart was hammering in his chest at a pace built for sprinters in an Olympic drive. When her lips curved up in a smile for him, one that was inviting and warm despite the coolness of her overall appearance, Killian was lost. In seconds he was on his feet, abandoning David in the process.

"Good luck, man!"

Luck would likely play a factor in this. If Killian could convince this woman to even let him spend an hour in her presence he'd be the luckiest bastard alive, he was sure of it. But it also felt deep in his gut like there was more at play here. Killian had never felt a pull this strong or this sure before and the slight flush that appeared on the woman's cheeks when he approached gave away the fact that he affected her too.

"This is normally the part where the guy drops the cheesy pick up line and the girl weighs whether he's worth it or not." Killian was transfixed by her lips moving as she spoke and he realized too late that he must look like an idiot standing there staring at her without any sort of words of introduction or greeting at all.

"I don't have a single line in my repertoire worthy of you, love. You've got me more than a little thrown if I'm honest." The woman smiled and took another sip of her drink.

"That'll work. I'm Emma."

She extended her hand and Killian immediately moved to take it, feeling an undeniable spark the second their skin touched. It made his reaction to just the sight of her seem tame. Killian had this undeniable urge to pull her to him and then to promptly get out of this surprisingly pleasant bar so he could have some time _really_ alone with her.

"Killian Jones." Emma smiled, but not in a way that said she recognized the name.

"Can't say I know many Killians, and the accent definitely isn't local. So what's the story?"

To have someone ask him who he was after the year he'd just had was a trip, but it was also delightful. He could choose how much he wanted to give. He could tell her the truth about his being a successful musician (rock star just sounded so braggadocios) or he could tell her who he really was at the core, just a simple man who couldn't walk away from his guitar long term.

"The accent is easily accounted for being from England and all," Emma smiled and he decided to go with the latter plan. "I'm a songwriter – well actually currently I am a floundering one to say the least."

"And the surprises keep on coming." Killian felt his brow rise at her joke. "Sorry, it's just that you seem to have yourself a little more together than most of the guys I meet claiming to be in music."

"You should have seen me an hour ago."

Emma let out a throaty chuckle and the sound held more richness of tone than any note he'd ever played. Killian believed in his abilities, one had to in order to stand up night in and night out in front of a crowd and sing their song, but Emma's laugh put him to shame. He wished he could capture that essence or the way his whole body warmed as he watched her finger trace along the rim of her glass.

"What about you, love? What does the enchanting Emma with no last name do with her time when not looking stunning in local bars?"

"Swan. My last name is Swan." Killian grinned. Of course it was. She'd need a name signaling beauty when she was the embodiment of it so precisely. When he said that aloud, however, Emma laughed again. "Anyone ever tell you that you might be just a touch too charming?"

"I've yet to get any complaints." Her jade colored eyes glittered with amusement and Killian felt pride in his chest at having put the smile on her lips. It didn't matter if she was flirting or laughing at him. All that mattered was that Emma seemed happy, and that he himself hadn't felt this good in forever.

"I'm sure you haven't." The huskiness that infiltrated her voice at that stoked a fire inside of him, and when her hand came to cover his he swore the bloody feeling consumed him. "Look, we could stay here all night and finish what I am sure will be a riveting and entertaining tale of who we are and how we got here. Or…"

Emma trailed off as Killian flipped his hand under hers. Now her fingers were wrapped in his as his thumb trailed back and forth ever so slightly against her wrist. He felt her shiver at the contact, and the thought that she could be so responsive to this limited touching made him hunger to know how else she'd react. Would she tremble underneath his kiss? Arch for closeness as those kisses trailed lower? He was desperate to know what it sounded like when Emma Swan pleaded for more and what it would feel like to hear his name on her lips as she came apart in pleasure.

"Or _what_ , Swan?" Emma cleared her throat and continued on.

" _Or_ we could get out of here and skip to the part where I get you out of that leather and you get me out of this dress." The bluntness of the words hit him like a punch to the gut but he reveled in it, loving that she hadn't backed down from this attraction.

"Has anyone ever told you you're brilliant?" Emma laughed at his words and took his hand again, standing up and leading him from the bar. They were nearly free and out in the world, but then the moment came – the dreaded recognition.

"Hey that's Killian Jones from _Band of Outlaws_!"

Killian winced at the yell and the subsequent scrutiny that came. It included, but was not limited to, a roaring outcry that people 'loved that band' and women using some choice words to declare how attractive they found him. Killian was almost terrified to look at Emma's face but when he did she looked only surprised and then she broke into another smile.

"A songwriter, huh?" Emma asked when they'd gotten outside safely. Emma hailed down a cab, causing Killian to fear that she was trying to leave without him.

"I didn't lie to you, Emma. I really do write most of our stuff."

"I know." He must have looked surprised at her certainty so she clarified. "Long story short I've got this super power and I can tell you haven't lied to me yet. So I take it you guys are kind of a big deal?"

"We've had some modest success." Emma smirked.

"Right. Let me guess, country music." Killian barked out a bit of laughter and then shook his head.

"Not quite, Swan."

"That's a shame. I bet they could use another hot foreign guy in that market."

Her joke spoke to her continued good humor but Killian didn't want to misunderstand. He was so ensnarled in all things Emma Swan and the last thing he could bear would be her leaving because of this. He wanted to show her that who he was in the public eye didn't mean anything and that he hadn't been trying to take any kind of advantage by not telling her. He moved forward, watching her eyes grow wide as his hand cupped her cheek.

"The only person I'm interested in being needed by is you, Emma. I'm sorry I didn't come right out and tell you the whole truth of who I am. I'm not hiding from you, love." Emma's gaze softened.

"It's probably for the best that you didn't tell me. I mean what would you have said? 'Hi I'm Killian Jones: famous rock star extraordinaire, at your service.'" Emma's impression of his accent was abysmal but the laughter in her eyes told him that had he gone such a route she would have shot him down in a second.

"An excellent point again, love. Tell me, what kind of employment does a woman of your brains and beauty choose?"

"I'm a detective."

Killian didn't know why but the idea that Emma was police only made him hotter for her. Suddenly the thought of his Swan with handcuffs and an authoritative voice descended on him. Only after a moment did he realize he'd thought of her as _his_. She'd completely consumed him and whether she realized it or not he was hers already. It had taken all of a minute to get to that point, and with every additional second he was falling under her spell just a little more.

"Is that going to be a problem?" Killian shook his head and ran his hands over her hip and the small of her back.

"I can promise you it is quite the opposite." Emma hummed out a sound of understanding as he pressed his problematically prevalent arousal against her. "Tell me you still want this, love."

"I do." Killian grinned at that, praising his lucky stars for that perfect twist of fate. He told her then that he had a car and it could take them any place she wanted. She told him that his place was fine and he immediately gave the driver the order.

"He seemed surprised," Emma whispered and Killian felt himself go red.

"Ah, well that's because I never actually bring anyone home." Emma laughed and Killian waited to hear what she found so funny.

"Sorry, that just seems like typical protocol for a rock star. Of course you wouldn't bring women to your house." Killian grabbed Emma's hand and kissed it lightly, watching her eyes darken as he turned the feeling in the car from humorous to desirous again.

"'Typical protocol' as you've called it has been completely thrown out, Emma. With you everything is new."

Emma murmured about how this felt different to her to and with that bit of affirmation, Killian pulled her in for a kiss, finding an explosion of sensation in every shade of wonderful at the first brush of lips on lips. In no time at all their hands were roaming, tongues dueling, and the feeling like he'd found everything he'd ever dreamed up wrapped in one person came barreling in even stronger than it had since meeting her.

Killian never wanted to pull away, but to memorize every hitched breath and keening sigh for more that came from this magical woman. His mind was racing a million miles a minute, picturing the moment when he got this damned tempting dress off of her perfect form and he had the chance to make love to her. No amount of time would ever be enough, and just the taste of her kiss was enough to tell Killian that he'd stumbled upon the only forever he wanted tonight.

Emma pulled back eventually, her breath panted out as she smiled, her forehead resting against his. He didn't understand why she'd pull away when the chemistry between them was as blindingly fantastic as this, but then her gravely, lust-filled voice made its way to his ears.

"I think we're here."

Killian looked out the window and saw they were so he thanked the driver and got Emma inside as quickly as he could. He greeted his doorman and made a mental note that in a moment where he wasn't trying to find everything with Emma he should tell the man that Emma had complete access to his apartment. Maybe he'd get to that tomorrow – or next week. Who knew, he could get lucky and manage to convince Emma to forget the world and stay with him instead. If only.

The entire elevator ride, Killian held Emma close but they remained a whisper away from each other because Killian didn't think he'd be able to stop once he started again. The ride to the penthouse went on for an eternity, but finally they got there and when his door was locked and bolted behind them he was on her again, reveling in her sound of heated need that came.

They left a trail of clothing behind them from the front door to his bedroom. First he stripped off his jacket and then hers. His t-shirt was tossed soon after and Killian cursed from how good it felt to have Emma's hands on his bare flesh. She knew exactly what kind of pull she had too, and her fingertips danced lower down the trail of hair he had, making his already aching cock even harder.

"So I take it you're not taking me on a grand tour of this place?" Emma teased.

"I think a rather different kind of mapping out is called for now, love. The apartment will keep, but I need you. I need to drive you as crazy as you've made me." 

"I think you already have." Killian vowed to Emma that she'd be certain of her need for him by the end of this, but the reins of power shifted when Emma slipped out of her dress, revealing herself in the most delicious black lingerie he'd ever seen.

"Bloody hell, you're trying to kill me."

Emma laughed and pulled him closer, unbuttoning the dark pants he'd chosen earlier. She was graceful even in this, a seductress to the highest degree, and if he had any chance of surviving this without coming too soon and making a fool of himself, he had to take her hand away and get her back on the bed. A surprised yelp turned into a giggle when he did and then her heavily lidded eyes looked at him, silently daring him to have his way with her.

"How are you real, Emma?"

She blushed and he watched as that gorgeous shade of pink moved down her neck to the valley of her breasts. It pulled him forward so his fingers traced along the sleek lines of her bra. Part of him wanted to tear it off of her, and the other part wanted to picture how she looked like this every day for the rest of his life. He pictured unwrapping Emma a million times, finding similar scraps of lace in a variety of colors and he growled at the idea that she could be his and then they could have that. The sound made Emma tremble beneath him.

"Killian, please." The plea in her tone, brought Killian's eyes back up to hers and there was no denying Emma needed him. He lived for that, and took it as his queue to get going.

"I think I should warn you of something, love." Emma swallowed harshly when he undid her bra and revealed her full breasts to the air around them. "Tonight is a promise."

His mouth dropped a demanding kiss to her lips and then traced along her jaw down her throat and into the valley of her breasts. He kissed and sucked and nipped at her creamy flesh and he felt her staggered breathing. Her enjoyment only fueled him on and when she squeaked out a clarifying question he nearly groaned at the flood of lust it inspired.

"A promise?"

"Of what we could have together." Emma seemed confused as Killian sucked a nipple into his mouth. She moaned and her eyes closed but still she prevailed, trying to find words through what Killian was sure was a hazy cloud of arousal.

"So you're saying you want more than just tonight?" Killian hummed out his like for that thought and one of his hands traced to the last piece of lace keeping them apart. She was wet and waiting for him already, and with deft precision his fingers slid past the seam and filled her prompting Emma to gasp again.

"I'm saying I want everything, Emma. I know it's fast but sometimes things are meant to be. You know that, don't you love? That you and I were always meant to find each other."

Emma nodded and her eyes closed again. It didn't take much to have her spiraling over the edge, but when she was just at the brink he was the one begging for her to open her eyes. She did and the sight of her climax was the single most addictive thing he'd ever experienced. He wanted just this all day every day for the rest of his days. He wanted to give Emma everything, and in flashes he pictured all the ways to tie them together: a ring, a wedding, a family. The thought had him moving lower, kissing down the taught slope of her stomach until he arrived where she wanted his mouth most.

"Eyes on me this time, love."

Emma practically purred when his tongue made contact and he went slow this time, getting his fill of her and further illustrating his point that a forever with him would be exactly the kind of life Emma should want. No one would ever treat her better, no one would ever love her like he could.

And there it was, the truth of the matter, which was as incredible as it was unbelievable: he loved Emma Swan. They'd just met and there were a million more things to learn about her, but there it was. He was certain, trusting his instincts to the fullest and finding a kind of confirmation when she fell apart again this time with his tongue on her sex.

"How is it this good?" Emma asked when he kissed his way back up her body and came above her again. She sounded genuinely dumbfounded and he knew that she was working through the realization he himself had just stumbled upon. It was this good because this was more than simple attraction or infatuation – it was love.

"Because it's us, Emma."

She pulled him back down to her and grew just as needy and aroused from the taste of herself up on his lips as she had from his mouth on her sex. It drove him mad and all the control he'd been clawing to keep demanded to be undone. He found himself caving to that animalistic need, swearing to himself he'd go slow next time, drawing it out for maximum pleasure, but now he had to claim her and mark her.

Emma was of the same mind it seemed, and when he thrust inside her, finding heaven itself she clawed at him, scratching and urging him to take more. Her kisses at his neck and the scratch of teeth there made him crazy and he lost himself in finding Emma. They flew towards the precipice of bliss, and finally, when he thought he might die from how much he needed her he spoke out again.

"Trust me, Emma. Just let go. Let go with me." His hopeful and pleading request set her off and moments later he followed. Finding for the first time in his life what it meant to truly be whole.

Trailing his fingertips against her back lightly sometime later, Killian wondered how it was possible that he'd gone this long without Emma in his life. She made him feel too much and yet he wanted so much more. Being with her was the single most incredible moment of his life. Nothing else in the world compared. Not the fame, not the money, not even the music.

But as if he'd willed that last part and the first love of his life into arriving again, chords began to appear in his mind, sounding out to the point where he couldn't ignore them. He also had to admit that they weren't just good, they were bloody brilliant, and there was no denying that their arrival was solely the product of meeting and getting to intimately know Emma.

"So I guess that writer's block is behind you now, huh?" Killian's brow furrowed and Emma smiled. "You're humming something and I don't recognize the song. Unless it's one of your old ones."

Killian grinned, liking the fact that Emma didn't actually know his music. He'd met enough fans to last a lifetime, and meeting someone real and genuine, who didn't see him as just a bag of money or a means to a famous end was invigorating. He felt this raw connection to her, a need to keep her in his life and to hold her close and he believed Emma might be caving to the same force. Killian only hoped he could convince her not to let go.

"What can I say, Swan? You've revived me as nothing else could." Emma laughed lightly, the sound washing over him and adding another layer of the music in his head.

"Is this the moment where you ask to write it on _me_ because you don't have any paper?"

Killian couldn't pretend the thought hadn't crossed his mind. Any excuse to have his hands on Emma, even after the delicious interlude they'd just had was welcome. He'd noticed her buttercup tattoo on her wrist earlier, but now he wondered how she'd appear with a more temporary stamp of his music on her flawless skin.

"In this day and age it's hard to make that claim. But perhaps I could persuade you to let me just out of the kindness of your heart." Emma smiled and shook her head so at first he thought she was denying him.

"No persuasion needed. I think you've made the perks of helping you abundantly clear." Killian kissed Emma then and vowed that there'd be more of those 'perks' just as soon as he got this out. In the meantime he reached into the bedside drawer beside him and found a red marker.

"You're sure, Emma?"

Emma nodded but made a simple request. She wanted to be the first to hear the song when it was finished. He promised she would be and set off to scribbling it all down. There were chords and lyrics alike, a crescendoing ballad about what it meant to find something that actually mattered in a world filled with other things of little consequence. More ideas popped into his head along the way too thanks to Emma's small laughs from being ticklish and her warm, happy smile that she flashed his way all the while.

"Is that it?" Emma asked five minutes later and Killian nodded. "Wow that was fast."

"Doesn't make it any less real, Swan."

He was speaking now not only of the song, but of his love for Emma and he swore she understood when she came up to press a kiss to his lips. He could feel the spark of something more bounding between them and it made him already want her again despite just having had her. Instead though he adhered her request to play him just a little of the music in his head. He grabbed his guitar and set to work, finding the melody for the words as he went along.

The intensity of that moment, of sharing something so profoundly personal with the person who'd made it possible was overwhelming, and Killian barely had his guitar back on the ground before Emma was on him, physically showing him just how much she loved the song. She wasn't intimidated by the big feelings they revealed or the fact that all he wanted was to have her for the long haul and her attentions easily made for the single best review he'd ever gotten. He vowed right then to write a thousand more songs for her just to have more reactions of the like.

"Did I mention I have a really incredible shower?" Killian asked after another round of life affirming lovemaking and Emma grinned lazily.

"Sounds fantastic. Just one problem, Captain."

Killian felt his heart swell at the title she'd off-handedly given him but he followed her eyes down to where he'd written all of the song. It already had smudged just slightly from where his hands had held onto her, but for now it was clear. With the addition of water, however, all trace of the song would be gone.

"Bloody hell."

Emma laughed again and then jumped out of bed, grabbing the bed sheet to cover herself. Killian wished she hadn't bothered, for he'd never get enough of her, but he had to admit the sight was somehow just as enthralling. When she returned with her phone and told him to take a picture his mouth went dry. They were going to document his words on her so he could always have them.

"What's the matter? Don't think you can handle it?"

"Not even a little, Swan. With you I am so far out of my league."

Killian believed that to be honestly true, but through some miracle he was given the chance to turn that one amazing night into so much more. With Emma's trust and belief in him, they managed to find that love at first sight was more than mere myth and that sometimes you were meant to find one person who could make the world new. They also kept the fast pace of their original union, with him proposing within the month and them marrying soon thereafter. People might have thought they were crazy, but Killian was confident that when you really loved someone, you just knew.

It was of course an adjustment. After all, detectives and rock musicians didn't get together every day, but in the end it was more than worth it. For being with Emma was better then the Grammys he eventually won, and the accolades he and the band earned. In truth, it was the single greatest privilege of his life, and one he would never take for granted, not once in the many, _many_ years of their happily ever after.

….

 _Hey girl, you make me wanna write a song,  
Sit you down, I'll sing it to you all night long,  
I've had a melody in my head  
Since she walked in here and knocked me dead.  
Yeah girl, you make me wanna write a song_

 _And it goes like ooh,  
What I wouldn't do  
To write my name on your heart,  
Get you wrapped in my arms  
Baby all around you.  
And it goes like hey,  
Girl I'm blown away,  
Yeah it starts with a smile and it ends with an all night long slow kiss,  
Yeah it goes like this._

 _Hey girl, you make me wanna drive you home,  
Get you outta here and get you all alone.  
I don't know what it is about you, baby,  
But I'm all messed up and it might sound crazy,  
But you make me wanna write a song._

 _And it goes like ooh,  
What I wouldn't do,  
To write my name on your heart,  
Get you wrapped in my arms  
Baby all around you.  
And it goes like hey,  
Girl I'm blown away,  
Yeah it starts with a smile and it ends with an all night long slow kiss,  
Yeah it goes like this._

 _Lookin' at you, lookin' at me that way,  
Makes me wanna grab my old guitar and play_

 _Something like ooh,  
What I wouldn't do,  
To write my name on your heart,  
Get you wrapped in my arms  
Baby all around you.  
And it goes like hey,  
Girl I'm blown away,  
Yeah it starts with a smile and it ends with an all night long slow kiss,  
Yeah it goes like this_

 _And it goes like ooh,  
And it goes like hey,  
And it ends with a kiss,  
Yeah it goes like this._

 _ **Post-Note: So first and foremost thank you to my lovely reader who asked for this. I haven't gotten to write many musician Killian AUs aside from the New Years one I did last year (which I will be republishing this year) so this was a fun prompt for me to tackle. This one also came with a great song to go with it, so thank you for giving me a way to include this in the mixtape. I hope you all enjoyed this lighthearted, insta-love filled fluff. I think we all need it this hiatus. Anyway thank you all for reading and for all the continued support!**_


	123. Happy Golden Days

_**A/N: Emma's POV as she spends Christmas Day with her family. She's had so many years when this holiday season was miserable, but now she has everything. Takes place in the future when CS has gotten married and have just found out that they have a baby on the way. They haven't told anyone her parents yet, but it gets out anyway. Inspired by 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.'**_

She used to hate Christmas music.

In her old life before Henry found her, Emma never wanted to listen to it. Dean Martin singing about chestnuts on the fire, Bing Crosby warbling about pure white snow, Mariah Carey belting out an anthem about love at Christmas time: it was all the same to Emma. She avoided those holiday tunes at all cost, knowing every song was about having people who loved you and living in a cookie-cutter, postcard inspired utopia where the world was covered in snow and filled with hope and happiness.

For the longest time that hadn't been even remotely relatable to Emma's life. She'd been alone for years and feeling that all too keenly during the holidays. Nothing ever really compared to spending Christmas alone, not even the solitary birthdays she'd gotten used to. Maybe that was because it took the longest time for her hope to die away about this special time of year. First snows always felt a little magical, and seeing little kids on the street or in a store who were so excited and enthusiastic about Santa Claus and presents was undeniably cute even for cynical, walled-off people like Emma. She'd still been susceptible to it even if she didn't think she'd ever feel what it meant to truly know Christmas.

Now, however, things were so strikingly different. A few years turned her whole world around and somehow Emma had gone from having no one to having this big family of people who cared about her. She never doubted anymore that they would all give anything to see her happy, for they'd proven time and time again that they were on her side. It had taken a while for her to accept that and really truly feel it but now there was no denying the love she had here and the fact that she'd found home.

So yeah, maybe Emma didn't mind Christmas music so much anymore. If Ella Fitzgerald wanted to sing about a special someone under the mistletoe then that was all right with Emma. Actually it was welcome for it reminded her of some interludes she and Killian had shared in similar fashion this year. She had also found a new appreciation for the movies and the TV specials and the stories too. Before they were all a symbol of what she was missing, but now they were something about this realm to share with Killian and a way for her and her kid to bond too.

What was possibly the most miraculous part of all of it though was that Emma could watch all of these, could take in all this content about perfect Christmases, and not be the least bit envious. These idealistic worlds didn't actually compare to the one she resided in. The lives they all lived might not be easy, but the fight was always worth it, especially when the pay off was moments like this.

"Again, Killy!"

Emma grinned at her little brother who was looking for another magic trick (because of course her centuries old pirate with a penchant for black leather knew a few illusionary tricks that a child would find enjoyable). Neal had become quite the talker as soon as speech became a possibility. He was very fond of Killian and it did Emma's heart good every time she saw them together. Whatever fears Killian once had of babies and little ones was now gone and thank goodness for that all things considered.

"I think this might be our best Christmas yet, don't you Emma?" Emma nodded at her mother's words. They were impossible to dispute when they had so many great things going for them right now.

"I think you might be right, Mom."

Snow gave a big smile at Emma's validation and then rushed back into the kitchen to check that David hadn't let anything burn. Emma laughed as her mother moved away knowing full well that her Dad could handle himself when it came to cooking. Her mother was just predisposed to anxiety and that was something they'd all had to come to accept even in down time like this.

"Hey Mom, settle something for me and Grandpa: _Elf_ or _It's a Wonderful Life_?" Emma looked between Henry who was setting the table and her father whose eyes had moved from the Christmas turkey to Emma expectantly.

"Can't say kid. It's a toss up."

Henry huffed that _Elf_ won all the way but he eventually let it go and any question on the subject was completely forgotten once the call came that dinner was ready. Like moths drawn to a flame, they all moved to the table, eager to get to the meal before them and everything else the night still held in store.

"Allow me, love."

Emma smiled as Killian pulled her chair out for her. He'd lost none of that gentlemanly charm since their getting married and Emma knew that all those admirable and painfully attractive traits were here to stay. It still filled her with that warm sense of comfort when he treated her with such deference and she kissed his cheek lightly, biting back a laugh when she saw a little pink appear on his face at the gesture. Emma didn't have too much time to linger on her husband's cute reactions, however, not when her Dad decided to give a toast about all the things he was grateful for this year.

"This time of year it's important to take stock of our lives and to be thankful for what we have. We went a long time without having nights like this, a lot of holidays when we didn't have each other, but my greatest gift today and every day is being a part of this family. No matter what we always find each other, and we always know that through the good and the bad we're in this together." Everyone murmured their agreement with that lovely Charming/Jones family truth.

"It's cool that we'll have a new member soon, too."

Emma choked on air at Henry's off-handed comment and if she'd had a free hand to slap over her forehead in a show of exasperation she might have considered it. She and Killian only told Henry yesterday about the baby she was expecting and her son was the first person to know other than Killian and the doctor. She could pretend the delay had come from things being busy at the station before the holiday, but the truth was that Killian and Emma had been busy stealing moments to celebrate, thus distracting her from spreading the news.

"Oh shoot did you not tell Grandma and Grandpa yet?" Henry asked, blanching at the realization that he'd spoiled the surprise.

"Not exactly, kid," Emma replied as her parents were still putting two and two together. When understanding finally crossed her mother's features Emma almost winced at the loudness of her voice.

"You're _pregnant_?!" The glee and hope embedded in that question was palpable and Killian sat beside Emma grinning as she cleared her throat.

"We were going to tell you guys, but we couldn't seem to find the right time..."

Emma looked at the tears collecting in her mother's eyes, knowing they were of the happiest variety and then she looked to her father who was equally overwhelmed but in a different way. He stood there a little speechless, but slowly the smile broke across his face showing his genuine happiness. Emma felt the tense anticipation slip away from her when he did.

"So I get to be a Grandpa again?" Emma nodded as Killian made a joke about David not looking a day over seventy. This of course set off some more teasing at Killian's expense for his own age disparities but finally, after all the congratulations they set down to their Christmas dinner and the rest of their now traditional festivities.

It was so lovely to have these rituals after years of not having any sort of annual routines in her life. Henry had gotten most of his presents that morning, but his ones from his Grandparents and Emma and Killian's for Neal were opened after dinner. There was also coffee and cookies made by Killian (because it turned out that a hook was actually kind of helpful in the pastry-decorating department). Emma couldn't help but smile as she ate hers remembering how they'd stumbled upon that interesting tidbit.

But as wonderful as Christmas with their family was, there did come a time when it had to end. After spending last night with Killian and Emma, Henry was heading off to be with Regina, Robin, and Roland and Killian and Emma took their leave from the loft too, seeing how a need for sleep had so swiftly descended on little Neal.

They could have _poofed_ back their house if Emma was in the mood, but when they saw that little flakes of snow were falling from the now dark sky, she and Killian decided to walk, taking their time as they strolled hand in hand back home. The first part of their walk was quiet, but not uncomfortable, and Emma felt a growing sense of peace in her chest. She was happy to have the whole telling her parents thing behind her, and the best part was that by morning the whole town would know. After all her mother wasn't known for keeping secrets.

"It's a beautiful night, don't you think?" Emma asked as they turned onto their street, seeing the houses around them all lit up with their Christmas lights and the way the snowflakes danced around the decorations their neighbors had put out.

"Aye, love, that it is." Emma looked up to Killian sensing there was something else he wanted to say.

"But…" 

"But it doesn't hold a candle to you." Emma rolled her eyes even as she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled him down so he was only a breath away from her.

"You are so totally cheesy, you realize that right?" Killian smiled as his arms wrapped around her.

"All I know is that my _wife_ loves such professions, all of which are true, 'cheesy' or not."

Emma smiled too, bringing his lips down to hers and feeling the power of what they had made real in a simple kiss. It still felt surreal that she had all of this. Even though they were confirmed true love and married with a baby on the way, Emma still had this feeling like someday she might wake up and realize it was all just a wonderful dream.

By the time they got inside and closed the door behind them, Emma was searching for something else to hold onto – some way to keep Christmas going so the magic of tonight wouldn't end. As if he could read her mind Killian proposed a plan.

"What do you say to a little cocoa by the fire, Swan?"

Emma immediately agreed, disposing of her jacket, hat, and gloves and moving to the fireplace. She could arguably get down and dirty and start the fire herself, but where was the fun in that? Instead she flicked her wrist and lit the flame with magic and Killian returned just a few minutes later with the cocoa in tow. When her mug was in her hand and her drink (which was perfectly made she might add) was at her lips, Killian came to sit beside her, holding her close and helping her feel that same wonderful sensation like everything would be all right.

"Just think, Swan, next year you'll have a whole new person to share every bizarre detail of this holiday with." Emma laughed, knowing Killian had been a good sport. Traditions were very different here than in the Enchanted Forest, but he never gave up on trying to understand them. As per usual, her pirate rolled with the punches and just kept moving ahead.

"I think you mean _we_ will be. After all we're in this together."

The brilliance of Killian's smile left Emma just a little breathless and she could see all the hope and love he never bothered to hide anymore. They had both found all the security and faith that things would be okay in each other, and getting married and finding out about the baby only added to that. Sure there would be trials ahead, and conflicts aplenty, but Emma didn't have any doubts that she was exactly where she wanted to be with the man who had claim to her whole heart.

Without needing any words Emma put her cup of cocoa down and pulled her husband down for another kiss, wanting to feel every last piece of this love between them. He hardly denied her, instead granting Emma every little bit of satisfaction that he could and making her feel like the best was yet to come. Maybe Christmas was almost over, but the magic wouldn't fade away, not when they'd found a love like this.

That thought prompted Emma in a new direction, away from the fireplace and stockings hung with care and back to their beautiful, wonderful kind of normal. She didn't need to linger any longer in Christmas related activities. All she wanted was Killian, in every way she could have him.

With a flick of her wrist Emma transported them back upstairs into their room and nearly laughed when she saw Killian's face responding to her new ensemble. He was face to face with what she'd been wearing underneath her sweater and jeans, and there was no denying that he husband loved what he saw. Emma silently thanked the Universe for her magic because it brought her a moment like this.

"Merry Christmas, Captain." Killian's eyes warmed at the title, cutting through the raw lust that had been there before as his smile grew. His response was almost whispered, but it washed over her like a wave of pure bliss.

"Merry Christmas, my love."

For the rest of the evening Killian showed her just how much he loved her and she did the same, and Emma in the end was right: that Christmas magic managed to find them all year long, granting them a bounty of good memories and great moments that made every fight and every battle along the way all so incredibly worth it.

….

 _Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Let your heart be light  
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight  
Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Make the Yuletide gay  
From now on, our troubles will be miles away  
Here we are as in olden days  
Happy golden days of yore  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Gather near to us once more  
Through the years we all will be together  
If the fates allow  
So hang a shining star upon the highest bough  
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now  
Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Let your heart be light  
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight  
Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Make the Yuletide gay_

 _From now on, our troubles will be miles away  
Here we are as in olden days  
Happy golden days of yore  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Gather near to us once more  
Through the years we all will be together  
If the fates allow  
So hang a shining star upon the highest bough  
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now_

 _ **Post-Note: I could pretend to be ashamed of yet another chapter where I make Emma and Killian have a baby on the way, but there's no point. I'm a firm believer that if you put good thoughts in the universe it will pay off and while the writers of the show aren't as forgiving as the universe sometimes, I'll just keep writing chapters like this until I get something like a real happily ever after. Anyway thank you all so much for reading and I hope those of you like me who are predisposed to loving fluff enjoyed!**_


	124. Million Reasons

_**A/N: Modern AU where Emma and Killian are best friends but she's watching him build a life for himself that she can't seem to fit into. She decides to do what she does best and run. There's only one snag – she tries to leave and Killian admits he loves her, giving her the one reason she needed to stay. Inspired by a reader request for the song 'Million Reasons' by Lady Gaga and the multiple requests I've had for more chapters with best friends to lovers tropes. Hope you all enjoy!**_

Her whole life fit in the confines of a duffle bag, and if Emma Swan had any emotions left to spare she'd probably despair over that sad fact.

As it was, her heart felt like it was going to give any second. She was running, and it wasn't the first time she'd ever done that – hell her time in and out of the system as a kid had been filled with running - but it was the first time since meeting Killian that she'd decided to pack up and leave the life she had behind. Emma was leaving her best friend and the person who had gotten her through more storms than she could even count and she was doing it to give him the out that he deserved.

Because Killian was brilliant and kind and constantly trying to make her happy while dealing with her crazy amount of baggage, but the time had come. She had intruded in his life long enough, and there was no way he was ever going to let her go. He probably felt like he owed her something as her friend, but she couldn't bear to see him compromising anymore. He had a whole world of opportunity in front of him and he was stalling because of her.

 _Maybe he wouldn't have to compromise so much if you would give even an inch. If you just let yourself be happy it wouldn't be such a struggle._

Emma slammed her hands down on either side of the bag and hung her head closing her eyes. She'd been battling herself over this for weeks and the reason for that was clear: she was in love with her best friend in that totally cliché, hopeless way that made her hate herself a little bit. That love made it so much harder to go, even when she was convinced that he would be better off without her.

Emma couldn't say exactly when things had changed. They'd started as friends. Actually that wasn't quite right; they'd started as two people with this kind of charge between them. He was a cocky and charming law student and she was just trying to survive while being guarded up like Fort Knox on a good day. Somehow though Killian had thawed through some of her resistance and he'd done that with kindness and understanding. There was never a feeling of judgment with him, and since Emma wasn't exactly an expert at having friends, she'd felt the impact of having Killian in her corner and in her life that much more keenly.

But letting him past her walls even as a friend was a risk. It meant that she was vulnerable and that hypothetically he could hurt her, though Emma knew Killian would never do that willingly. It was one of the reasons that her heart had allowed the friendship to grow into something more. After enough nights of laughing with him over a drink, watching an infinite number of stupid movie that he insisted they try out, and many a morning spent funneling coffee and finding the perfect diner to get pancakes in the city, she'd realized that this was love, the big, overwhelming, 'I look at you and see forever' kind of love.

When she realized it of course Emma was wracked with all sorts of emotions. There was the obvious thread of fear that came because love was crazy and if Emma's life up to now had taught her anything it was that it never worked out in the end. Love was a weakness and a way to open yourself up to the worst life had to offer, even if hearing Killian's laugh or seeing that smile he only ever seemed to save for her filled her with a rush of warmth that outshone the sun.

There was anger too, mostly because Emma was so annoyed with her heart for giving itself away without her even realizing it. She reasoned that she should have some sort of choice over how she felt and what she wanted. She was rational, a person driven by survival and perseverance over sappiness, but try as she might her heart wouldn't yield, not when she an Killian were as tied up together as they were.

But the worst part of everything was the guilt. Emma knew that she didn't fit in the life that Killian was building. She had seen the signs before, but now they were growing more apparent. Emma could see the way his colleagues wondered why it was that an up and coming lawyer was so close with a bail bonds person, and how Killian had to be different with them than he was with her. Emma realized she wasn't clean cut enough, or well versed enough in constitutional amendments to mesh well with them, and the last thing she ever wanted was for Killian to suffer for that, or worse, for him to limit himself because of his ties to her.

That was why she was leaving at the end of the day: because the evidence that he was beginning to sacrifice too much for her was too prominent to ignore anymore. It had started off small by his opting out of some office parties or out of work activities to be with her, but now the stakes were higher. He had the chance to really gain momentum if only he would let go of her and New York and join his firm's branch out in Boston, but Killian was adamant that he wouldn't go.

Actually, he hadn't even told Emma that it was a possibility. She had to find out by a circumstance of chance and when she did she realized that for once it was Killian who needed saving. He needed someone to defend him from his own impulse to protect _her_ and after everything he'd done for her, Emma knew she had to save him from himself so as to give him the clean start he deserved.

With her resolve bolstered back into place Emma opened her eyes again and got back to throwing the last of the stuff that mattered to her (most of which had something to do with Killian or a moment they'd shared together) into her duffle. She had just finished with the task and was about to figure out what was next (would she say goodbye in person, or would she be a coward and leave a note?) when the buzzer to her apartment building sounded. She knew it was Killian and her heart plummeted knowing that a confrontation had to come.

Emma pressed the button that allowed him to enter, not even bothering to wait for whatever witty remark or funny joke he'd make and in a matter of moments he was knocking at her door. The thought that this would be the last time she saw Killian weighed on Emma like a ton of bricks. Her throat closed from the sadness that consumed her, but she had to toughen up. Just a few more minutes of being strong. She could break down later, but not now, not when there was so much on the line.

When Emma opened the door she was greeted by a sight she was already familiar with. Killian was leaning against the door and grinning at her, and in a very thoughtful move, he'd come bearing dinner. That was just like him, and Emma knew that whatever it was would be fantastic and exactly what she wanted. He had this way of knowing even before she did what she was looking for and she would miss that and every other part of him more than she could say.

"I know, I know, you told me to go out with the others tonight, but if I have to listen to one more person talk about corporate litigation I'm liable to lose it. You're sparing me a great deal of pain, Swan." When Emma didn't smile Killian looked concerned and as he moved inside and set the bags down he noticed her open bedroom door and the duffle still spread out on the white sheets.

"You going somewhere, love?" Emma felt a flutter low in her stomach at the endearment. He'd been calling her that since their first day of meeting but it always did something to her. It made her feel so much more than was safe for someone who wanted to stay above sentimentality.

"Chicago."

"You're kidding. What kind of case is sending you that far?" Emma winced and she was thankful that she wasn't currently facing him. She kept her eyes downcast as she replied.

"I'm not going for one case. I'm going for good." He laughed at that but when she didn't laugh in reply, it seemed to dawn on him that she was serious.

"Like hell you are!" Emma looked up, surprised by the tone but Killian looked actually angry. She could see something else in his eyes too, something intense, and she wondered if it was fear of her going or something more.

"Look, Killian, I know it's last minute, but it's for the best. I need something different and I've got some contacts out there and a lead on a place to stay. It's all good." He stood there staring at her and Emma could see the tick in his jaw that spoke to all kinds of tension. He let go of it though and surprised her with the craziest statement she'd ever heard.

"I need to give the firm two weeks notice. Can you wait until then or should I meet you out there?" Emma's jaw dropped but she tried to collect herself quickly.

"That's the thing, you're not coming. I'm going alone." He barked out a laugh at that which was cold and harsh. It was choked with emotions that were strong and familiar to Emma. She felt like she was about to burst from her own at the moment but she held on as best she could.

"That's not happening, Emma. Over my dead body are you starting over in a new city again alone and without me. I made you a promise. We're in this together. Always." Her heart clenched at that and the voice inside her head begged her to let him come, or better yet, not to run at all.

"You don't owe me anything, Killian. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

Killian moved forward and took her hand, zapping a current into Emma's system that shook her to her core. She couldn't understand how her body could crave his touch so badly but it did. She felt whole for the first time since coming up with this scheme of leaving, and just the simple connection healed away so many of the self-inflicted scars that this plan had bestowed over the past few weeks.

"I'm not trying to insinuate that you're some sort of damsel in distress, Swan. You're more than capable of taking on the world on your own merit. I'm telling you that you don't have to. The time for going it alone is over. You have me now."

Emma felt like she was about to cry, and as someone who never ever cried that only made the already existent fear in her system spike higher. She pulled her hand away, feeling the loss immediately as she did, and shook her head. She was about to put on the show of her life, because acting nonchalant about this was nearly impossible.

"You have a life here Killian."

"So do you, Emma. But if it's not the one you want then Chicago it is."

"You can't be serious."

"I've never been more serious in my life. Where you go I go. End of story."

Emma was forced to grasp at straws now, because his assurances meant the world to her but she couldn't be so selfish. She had to sever ties, because if it didn't happen now, they'd fall apart later. Nothing was ever really permanent in her life anyway. She just had to learn to accept that again. And honestly, she didn't think she could handle one more day as just his friend. It hurt too much to want everything as badly as she did knowing it could never come to be.

"And what about that promotion, Killian?" Emma figured she might as well lay all of her cards out on the table if he was going to be so headstrong.

"What promotion?" He looked actually surprised that she'd brought it up.

"I heard you on the phone the other day. They want to transfer you to Boston and you should do it. You've worked so hard and you deserve it, but you're sticking around because of me. Because you're worried I'll break without you, but I won't. I've got Chicago and we can still keep in touch…"

Emma trailed off, not having the strength to keep up the front anymore. It hurt too much to talk about this. She looked away and heard the warble of disbelief in his tone when he finally responded.

"Is that really what you think? You think I'm staying to _protect_ you?"

"Aren't you?"

"I turned down that job because I'm in love with you Emma. You've got it all bungled up. It's not that you can't survive without me, it's that I can't make it without you."

Emma was stunned by the admission that he'd so freely given. _He loved her?_ Killian loved her? Like love-loved her? Or was this a 'we're best friends and I care about you' love? If that was the case she might just up and die. At that moment he reached for her again and the warmth of his touch sparked something in her. She glanced up at him and saw in his eyes that whatever he was about to say would be the absolute truth.

"Bloody hell, I might be about to ruin everything, but I love you Emma. I'm in love with you and I think I always have been." Emma gawked a little bit but finally found her words.

"You are? But you never said anything."

"Because I can't imagine my life without you in it, Emma. I was willing to accept any life with you in whatever way you'd have me. Nothing and no one else can ever give me what you give me. I'm yours, love, I always have been and no job or anything else is ever going to surpass that need to be with you. It never has and it never will."

In all the imaginings Emma had of this moment she never anticipated this. She'd built up a million reasons in her head of why she should leave but now he'd given her the one reason that could keep her here. It felt miraculous, like the sun was breaking through the clouds her life. Her world had been overcast and gloomy since she decided to leave. Suddenly anything seemed possible and all that fear and guilt she was once grappling with gave way to something so much sweeter – hope.

"You love me?" Her question was whispered and he gave a subtle nod as one of his hands came to cup her cheek and the other moved to her hip.

"With everything I am."

That was it, the final bit she needed to take the risk herself. She pulled him down, bringing their bodies to line up against each other as she tasted the kiss she'd been waiting for forever. It surpassed any fantasies she'd ever considered before, and the moment Killian met her in this embrace she knew they'd turned the corner. This was acceptance and love and goodness in its purest form, and she was happy, so ridiculously happy that she didn't know what to do or say except to hold him close and never let go.

When the kiss eventually broke apart and their eyes met again, Emma knew that she had to try and give him the same comfort he'd given her. Even if it went against everything she'd ever believed, she was ready to trust him with her heart and to be braver than she had been before.

"I love you too."

Saying those words was the single most liberating experience of her life, and the pay off was surreal. Killian looked positively elated and he swung her up in his arms, surprising her but thrilling her all the same. He made his way to the bedroom and she felt her blood humming, her body pulsing with need and joy and every good feeling imaginable.

"You should know, Emma, that I have no intention of letting go. You want to run? Fine, but you run with me. Wherever we go we go together. Deal?"

"Deal."

They sealed that agreement with a kiss and then so much more and in the end they did end up running, not away from each other, but to Boston so Killian could follow his promotion and they could find more happiness together. Their move proved to be an adventure that was so much better taken together than it ever could have been apart, and the life that they built was one Emma could never have dreamed up. The truth was that their happily ever after was so much better than anyone would believe, and that was all for one reason: because their love was true and could conquer just about anything standing in their way.

….

 _You're givin me a million reasons to let you go  
You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show  
You're givin' me a million reasons  
Give me a million reasons  
Givin' me a million reasons  
About a million reasons_

 _If I had a highway, I would run for the hills  
If you could find a dry way, I'd forever be still  
But you're giving me a million reasons  
Give me a million reasons  
Givin' me a million reasons  
About a million reasons_

 _I bow down to pray  
I try to make the worst seem better  
Lord, show me the way  
To cut through all his worn out leather  
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away  
But baby, I just need one good one to stay_

 _Head stuck in a cycle, I look off and I stare  
It's like that I've stopped breathing, but completely aware  
'Cause you're giving me a million reasons  
Give me a million reasons  
Givin' me a million reasons  
About a million reasons_

 _And if you say something that you might even mean  
It's hard to even fathom which parts I should believe  
'Cause you're giving me a million reasons  
Give me a million reasons  
Givin' me a million reasons  
About a million reasons_

 _I bow down to pray  
I try to make the worst seem better  
Lord, show me the way  
To cut through all his worn out leather  
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away  
But baby, I just need one good one to stay_

 _Baby I'm bleedin', bleedin'  
Stay  
Can't you give me what I'm needin', needin'  
Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith  
But baby, I just need one good one  
Good one, good one, good one, good one, good one_

 _When I bow down to pray  
I try to make the worst seem better  
Lord, show me the way  
To cut through all his worn out leather  
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away  
But baby, I just need one good one, good one  
Tell me that you'll be the good one, good one  
Baby, I just need one good one to stay_

 _ **Post-Note: I just want to say thank you to the lovely reader who requested this song, and to all of the other readers who have prompted songs I promise I am getting there. My writing schedule has been all out of whack and I have been following the muse around to a variety of different stories, but slowly and surely I will get there. In the meantime, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a great rest of your day!**_


	125. Top of the World

_**A/N: Reader prompted chapter that asked for future CS and the song 'We're At The Top of The World' by The Juliana Theory. This drabble includes Emma, Killian and the rest of the fam hiking (because wouldn't that just be a treat?). It includes typical shenanigans and fluff. Hope you all enjoy!**_

"You know there's a reason I chose a life on the sea all those years and not one traipsing across the countryside."

Emma bit back her grin as she heard the roundabout complaint from Killian. He would never openly ridicule her idea to go on a hike at the edge of Storybrooke near the highest point in town (especially when it was something that they were getting to all do as a family), but she was well aware of his thoughts on this little adventure. Killian was less than impressed with the extensive amount of brush on all sides and the rigor needed to climb up this hill. Not that Emma was particularly enamored with it. Actually, she was edging on embarrassment at how bad she was at this too. Who knew hiking was actually work?

"Oh come on, Killian. You've got a couple hundred years of piracy under your belt but you can't handle one measly hill?"

The words came from her father, who was farther up the trail than they were, carrying not only a backpack but Emma's babbling baby brother in one of those kangaroo pouches. Her Dad looked in his element out here, and he was also vastly enjoying the chance to tease his son-in-law. Meanwhile her Mom was just beside him, grinning and basking in the sunshine and fresh air. Emma half expected a flock of those fabled bluebirds to come and sing just for her.

"I think this might just be the most fun I've had all summer. Don't you, David?"

"Easily."

The two of them kept on going and Emma shook her head as they did, not understanding how they were managing. A ways behind them but still ahead of Emma and Killian were Henry and Violet who though clearly enjoying themselves, weren't quite as gung-ho about the hike as the Charmings. This was fun for them, but mostly because they were together, not because they believed themselves to be the world's greatest outdoor enthusiasts.

Emma looked back at her pirate then and saw him muttering under his breath in response to her parents' words. Nevertheless they had an impact. He'd picked up the pace and was now just beside Emma whispering low so only she could hear.

"I realize they're your parents, Swan, but the constant enthusiasm…"

"Is a little much, I know. Think of it this way: next time we'll just have to do something that we're better at than them." Killian grinned at the thought, and Emma could see him formulating ideas already.

"Have I ever told you that you're bloody brilliant, love?" Emma smiled and hummed out an affirming sound.

"Maybe once or twice."

She extended her hand to him in that moment and he gladly took it. It made the continued trek a little easier to bear, and Emma had to admit she found it adorable when Killian insisted on clearing paths for her with his hook. At one point she made a comment about their previous stints in forests, thinking specifically of that time he'd gotten his hook caught in the berry bush when they were searching for Zelena and then proceeded to tell her he was glad she'd gotten her heart broken, and he smiled thoughtfully.

"I vastly prefer where we are today than where we were then, but every last moment was worth it to get to this, my love."

Killian was the picture of warmth and easy charm as he pulled her hand up to kiss and Emma felt her heartbeat quicken, not from the exercise needed to march up this hill, but from wanting him and knowing that this love between them wasn't just true, but was earned. They'd gone through so much and he was right. It was all worth it in the end because now they had each other and a life neither of them could ever believe would really come to be but was so impossibly good.

"What if I told you I had an idea about how to avoid more hiking _and_ to beat my parents to the summit?" Killian's brow rose in surprise, but she could see the barely concealed delight in his blue eyes.

"You know I'll always follow wherever you lead, love." Emma grinned and noticed another path that was diverging up ahead. She pulled Killian with her so they caught up more to the group and then made a big show of wanting to go a different way.

"It looks on the trail signs like this way is faster to the top," Emma said, seeing that it also said the terrain was harder to cross thanks to steeper inclines and rocks.

"But that's an expert trail, Emma, and no offense but not all of us are exactly expert level." Emma tried not to laugh at her mother's genuine concern. She didn't want to directly say that Emma and Killian were lackluster hikers, but the sentiment was clear. Lucky for them, though, Emma had no intention of hiking, at least not far.

"Is that right? Well that sounds like the start of a bet. Fastest one to the top wins." Emma could see her parents' surprise, but she knew that they were competitive by nature. She'd gotten that tendency from somewhere after all.

"What are the stakes?" Her mother asked, clearly excited at the idea of some friendly, familial competition.

"Losers pay for ice cream?" Henry asked hopefully and Emma grinned before looking at her parents for their approval.

"Deal," they replied at the exact same time pulling a chuckle from Killian that Emma could feel reverberating through her from his place right beside her. She could practically read his mind from the one subtle glance she shot his way. He thought her parents incredibly foolish to underestimate her, and his constant faith in her only added to Emma's happiness.

"Just to be safe, take this. We wouldn't want any accidents." David tossed one of his radios to Emma and she clipped it onto her belt automatically. "Now… let the best team win."

Emma and Killian watched then as her parents headed off at a ridiculously fast pace, talking amongst themselves and with little Neal. Emma looked to Henry and Violet to see what they wanted to do. Emma wouldn't mind letting them in on her idea and using her magic to get all four of them to the top, but Henry had other ideas.

"I think I'd rather see the look on their faces when they realize their mistake. Grandpa is just a little too cocky."

Emma laughed and nodded, watching as Henry and Violet moved up the trail. Her eyes stayed on them as she watched them take each other's hands and she couldn't help the feeling in her chest of being happy for her son. He was in the throws of first love, and enjoying every moment of it.

"It does a heart good to see love like that." Killian's words pulled Emma back to the present and she smiled.

"Yeah it does. But I think I still like ours better." Killian looked astounded.

"You _think_ , love? Well then, allow me to remind you why ours is infinitely superior." Killian pulled her flush against him further along the expert trail and Emma's breath caught. She instantly felt the need to crash her lips to his and let him show her in that tantalizing way of his how much he loved her but she had one last thing to do.

"Hold that thought, Captain." His eyes glowed at the endearment and they were the thing she focused on as they _poofed_ to the summit.

It took both of them a moment to tear their gazes away, but when they did Emma was amazed at the sight before them. They were at the highest point for miles and miles, and it felt like the whole world was laid out beneath them. From up here it felt like anything was possible, but Emma knew that same feeling could have been the result of being in Killian's arms too. He brought that sense of comfort to her all of the time, incredible vistas or not.

"Maybe there's something to be said for hiking. At least for those of us not blessed with magically inclined wives." Emma chuckled at that and leaned against him, still staring out to see the sea of trees below them and the valleys and meadows down below.

"It's beautiful."

"It doesn't hold a candle to you, my love."

Emma looked back at Killian prepared to chastise him for the excessive sweetness, but the look in his eyes made that impossible. There was nothing but love and gratefulness displayed there and the only thing to do when faced with such an amazing sight was to bring her husband down for a kiss and show him that she felt exactly the same way. They melted into each other instantly, finding that same kind of hopeful bliss that always came whenever they were together.

It was hard to say how long they spent up there making out like teenagers at what felt like the top of the world, but eventually interruption did come in the form of her very noisy and self-assured parents. When Emma heard their voices, she pulled back from Killian and grinned, not able to resist the humor of her parents' voices just below.

" _Now, Neal, when we beat your sister and Killian it's important that we don't rub it in too badly. Real heroes face victory and defeat with grace."_ Killian chuckled at Mary Margaret's words and Emma pressed her finger over his lips to try and keep him quiet.

" _It's best to save celebrations for later. No one likes someone who brags about winning,"_ David added and at that moment her parents and little brother appeared at the tree line.

"That's exactly right, Dave. It's a terrible thing bragging. Best avoided at all costs." The shock on her parents' faces was absolutely priceless and Emma muffled her laughter with her hand as she held Killian's with the other.

"But how did you – I mean how could you possibly – what?" Emma watched as her father tried to make sense of all of this but finally, after Henry and Violet had also reached the summit and enjoyed the moment of complete shock from the Charmings, Snow put two and two together.

"You used your magic didn't you?" Despite her original thought that her mother would be disappointed, there was nothing but good humor on Snow's face and a little pride. She was happy for Emma being confident enough in her powers to do something like that, but her father, meanwhile, still had to come to terms with that truth.

"But the challenge was to see who could _hike_ up here the fastest." Emma would have corrected him, but Killian jumped at the chance to do so first. She was hardly surprised though. He loved giving her Dad just a little grief whenever he could.

"Was it though, mate? Or was it just to reach the top first?" Emma watched her father think back and how he broke out into a grin when he realized they'd been had.

"No I guess not. You bested us fair and square. But next time I won't make the same mistake. No magical loopholes."

Emma laughed, accepting her father's surrender and then she gazed back out at the view again with all of her family. It was a remarkable sight, but the most breathtaking part of all of it was that they were lucky enough now to have chances like this to find peace and happiness all together. Sure they might never be normal, they'd always be a family of royals and pirates, of heroes sworn to help when evil came knocking, but they had love and they had each other. And that would always be more than enough.

…

 _We're at the top of the world, you and I  
We've got a lot of time and it sure feels right  
'Cause you reached in your pocket  
And pulled out a pass that says you can take me anywhere_

 _Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la_

 _We're on the top of the world, here tonight  
We've got a lot of time and it sure feels right  
'Cause I'm up here running behind you  
I'm up here running in repeat_

 _Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la_

 _We're at the top of the world, you and I  
We've got a lot of time and it sure feels right  
'Cause you reached in your pocket and puled out a pass  
You can take me anywhere  
You can take me anywhere  
You can take me anywhere  
You can take me anywhere_

 _Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la  
Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la_

 _Yeah yeah yeah yeah, you can take me anywhere  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, you can take me anywhere  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, you can take me anywhere  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, you can take me anywhere_

 _Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la_

 _ **Post-Note: First of all I want to thank the reader who asked for this song! You asked me a long time ago, but I never forgot and this morning the muse finally figured out how I wanted to use your inspiration. Since my neck of the woods is currently covered in snow, a summer hike sounded like the perfect remedy. Also for those of you who don't know this song, it is so upbeat and happy that it deserved adorable future cuteness as my reader suggested so thank you, reader. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed and thank you so much for reading!**_


	126. So in Love

_**A/N: Hey all! This is a modern AU drabble prompted by a follower who wanted 'Danny's Song' (sung by the Swon Brothers) where Emma and Killian are newly weds who are really young (still in college) but are on the way to starting their family. It's literally all fluff, but I hope you guys enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

Sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office, awaiting the chance to figure out if Emma's hunch that she was expecting was true, Killian could barely wrap his mind around everything going on. He was elated, hopeful in a way that he couldn't easily describe, though he also knew that this was a moment when fear could be understood. A baby, a new life to support and to care for, would be a major change, one neither he nor Emma had been expecting, but even if the timing wasn't perfect, Killian couldn't help but feel so incredibly happy.

Because the truth was that he loved Emma. He had been in love with Emma since the moment they met on the first day of classes freshman year. It was an adjustment, coming to America from a different country and starting anew. But in that time of darkness, in the midst of that uncertainty, there was a girl who was as beautiful as she was guarded. She also happened to be whip smart, far too good for him, and the funniest person he'd ever met. It was easy to outline the reasons why he'd fell for her, but that love only increased as time went on.

Emma's origin story was a sorry one, and as soon as Killian discovered the full extent of what she'd missed out on, he made it his mission in life to make amends for all that Emma had gone through. She'd never had a place to belong? He'd help her find her home. She'd never had a family who wanted her? There was nothing in the world he wanted more than to stand at her side and see her happy.

Now more than three years later, Killian was truly blessed, because somehow Emma was his. She'd chosen him in return and there wasn't a day that went by when Killian didn't thank his lucky stars for that fact. Emma loved him just as much as he loved her, and in break from what most people would expect, they were already married. They hadn't wanted to wait until they were done with school. It felt like a lifetime to them, waiting two more years. Honestly any amount of time was too long when you knew you'd found the one, and so they didn't. Last summer they'd been married in the meadow not too far from school that Emma loved best in front of their friends and Killian's brother. It was the single best day of his life and nothing could hold a candle to it, until the morning Emma told him her feeling under the weather and about the fact that she was late.

"Tell me it will all be okay." Emma said the words from beside him and Killian turned to look at his wife. Her hand was already in his, her body hugging close to his chest as she molded to his side, but he could feel her anxiety, and instinct demanded that he ease it away.

"It's going to be more than that, Emma. I know this wasn't the plan. I know we both wanted a bit more stability before this, but I have to believe everything happens for a reason. Fate brought me you, and so I'll never turn her down. Whatever the doctor says, we're going to have each other, and someday, whether it's months or years from now we'll have that family we both want, and it'll be the best thing in the world."

Emma smiled, and though Killian could see some lingering worry, it was clear that his words were helping. Her hand made its way to his chest, just above his heart, and finally she exhaled, gearing herself up to talk to him.

"It's just…" Killian moved one of his hands to cup her cheek and waited until her green eyes met his before he urged her on.

"Whatever it is you can tell me, Emma."

"I never want to let our kids down. I want to be there – to really be there – and I want to do it right. I want them to know how much we love them and how we'll always choose to be with them. What if it's too soon? What if we screw up? We don't know how to do this."

Each one of her concerns latched onto his heart and it hurt, like a thorny prick against his chest, but it was always better to see inside his Swan's heart. Emma trusted him, and that was one of the greatest gifts she'd ever bestowed on him. It was his job then to make her see that there was hope, even through the fear.

"You are the smartest, kindest, most fiercely determined person I have ever met, Emma. Everything you are, everything you've been through – that we've been through together – it's given you the answers already. We're never going to know exactly what to do. We'll never get it perfect, but there is no doubt in mind that our kids will know love. With a mother like you, they'll have the best. Belonging to you is a miracle, Emma, and any child of ours will know that."

Killian didn't know what he expected from her, but it wasn't the kiss that he received, a searing one meant to show him how much Emma needed him and how much he meant to her. In that moment the waiting room faded away. There was only Emma, and the possibility that soon their life and their love would to bring something all together too beautiful to describe into this world.

"I love you."

Her whispered words were simple in the face of all of his, but they brought a genuine smile to Killian's face. All this time later and there was still nothing like knowing he had Emma's heart. It filled him up with purpose, and this feeling like everything truly would work out in the end. She was his hope and his light, and the funny thing was she seemed to think it was the other way around. She always saw the best in him, and it was her belief that motivated him to be better in every way.

"Emma Jones?" The nurse called from the doorway and Emma jumped as Killian held her in place. He gently brought her hand that he was holding to his lips and pressed a kiss there.

"Whatever happens, love, know nothing in this world makes me happier than you." Emma whispered that it was the same for her as they got up and moved together behind the nurse.

The appointment was pretty typical to start, just getting Emma's vitals and such, but when the doctor came in and the truth came out, that they were expecting a baby in about six months time, Killian couldn't help but let his joy be known. There were tears in his eyes, and he wasn't too proud to let them fall when Emma decided to get an ultrasound and they heard the heart beat of that precious little boy or girl.

"We did this," Emma said, clearly as blown away by their tiny miracle as he was.

"Aye, love."

"I love them so much already."

Killian heard the warm reverberations of Emma's joy in her tone. There were tears in her eyes too, but there was also so much more. She looked lost almost, caught in the same fantasies he was having of little girls with their mother's blonde hair and knowing eyes, and boys that looked like him, causing mischief but always vowing to protect the people they loved most.

He knew Emma was awaiting some sort of reply from him. Killian could see it in her beautiful face as she looked up at him and he tried to find his own that could do this feeling justice, yet he was speechless. It was unexpected, and this little boy or girl would be facing some interesting times with them ahead, but hell if Killian could regret a single part of this. This was the epitome of happiness. This was love made real. It was him and Emma's passion and need for each other that made this possible. They'd started a family a family he would cherish and protect and live for all the days of his life.

"You've given me everything, love. Everything and more." Killian pressed a kiss to her forehead and continued to hold onto Emma, from when the appointment ended until they were back in their little apartment set to make plans.

As expected, Emma was the picture of ability and capacity. She set forth a plan and in the course of one afternoon she'd gotten them on a track to not only graduate early (so that both of them would have their degrees by the time the baby was born) but to find a place to live once they were done here. They had a lot of questions to consider and not the least of them was where to call their home.

But when the sun set on this day, and Killian's ability to wait any longer was tired out, he pulled his lovely wife into his arms and brought her back to bed, wanting and needing to celebrate this news in the way that only the two of them could. And later on, when the two of them were wrapped up in each other in the bed they shared, Killian told Emma the absolute truth: that there were no limits to the love between them, and that he was so in love with her and so devoted to their family that nothing could ever come between them.

…..

 _People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one,  
And we've just begun.  
Think I'm gonna have a son.  
He will be like she and me, free as a dove,  
Conceived in love.  
The sun is gonna shine above._

 _And even though we ain't got money,  
I'm so in love with you honey,  
And everything will bring a chain of love.  
And in the morning, when I rise,  
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes  
And tell me everything is gonna be alright._

 _Seems as though, a month ago, I was Beta-Chi,  
Never got high.  
And oh I was a sorry guy.  
And now I smile and face a girl that shares my name.  
Now I'm through with the game.  
This boy will never be the same._

 _And even though we ain't got money,  
I'm so in love with you honey,  
And everything will bring a chain of love.  
And in the morning, when I rise,  
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes  
And tell me everything, is gonna be alright._

 _Love a girl who holds the world in a paper cup.  
And drink it up.  
Love her and she'll bring you luck.  
And if you find she helps your mind, buddy take her home.  
Oh don't you live alone.  
Try to earn what lovers own._

 _And even though we ain't got money,  
I'm so in love with you honey,  
And everything will bring a chain of love.  
And in the morning, when I rise,  
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes  
And tell me everything is gonna be alright._

 _Even though we ain't got money,  
I'm so in love with you, honey,  
And everything will bring a chain of love.  
And in the morning, when I rise,  
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes  
And tell me everything is gonna be alright._

 _ **Post-Note: So I just want to thank my reader for being so kind and patient as I worked to find the muse for this story. I really liked the idea of a younger Emma and Killian starting a family, and though it took some time to figure out how I wanted to express that, I hope I did your vision justice. Also thank you to everyone else for reading as well and I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	127. She Wanted a Sailor

_**A/N: Hey all! This is an AU drabble set in our world in the past where Emma is an orphan (now grown) sailing the Atlantic for the chance at a better life. While out there she meets Killian, a humble sailor. They fall in love over the course of the voyage, and in the end Killian asks her to marry him and she says yes. Inspired by a reader request for a Killian POV chapter to accompany 'Fille Du Roy' by Heather Dale.**_

When Liam said they were set to convey a different kind of cargo aboard their ship all those months ago, Killian never would have guessed that he meant people.

The Jolly had long been a trade vessel, one that Liam began captaining after he and Killian served their time in the royal navy, but it dabbled in goods bartered all around the Atlantic, not passengers looking for a new life in a new world. Still Liam was in charge at the end of the day, and when he assured the men they'd all be paid handsomely as soon as they docked, no one felt the need to truly complain.

It had further taken Killian aback on that first morning to see twenty young _women_ awaiting a voyage across the seas. This was a hard journey, and an even harder life to adjust to, but it turned out that most of the women aboard this vessel were destined for some sort of comfort. They had husbands awaiting them, men who were in need of wives and settled on one without so much as a look.

This idea of choosing a suitor with little more than a letter of acknowledgement might not have upset Killian had it not been for one ethereal and entrancing woman amongst the group. Her name was Emma, Emma Swan, and from the first moment that his eyes gazed upon her he was spell bound.

The attraction he felt for Emma burned hotter than any rum he'd tasted or flame he'd dallied near. She was sunlight and lightening all in one, with jade colored eyes that were always trained on her surroundings, aware of every threat and happenstance. Even after weeks of sailing, she'd never waivered into terrain that was less than beautiful, with her wind swept golden hair and the freckles that appeared from exposure. She was a dream made real, and it took ever last ounce of honor in him not to take her into his arms and confess his feelings every damn day.

As it was, Emma was the most involved of all the women. They might be passengers, paying for a voyage free from work or fatigue, but Emma wasn't interested in an idle life. She wanted to keep busy, and for some reason – some blessed, wonderful reason – she'd chosen him to be her guide.

" _Why me, love?"_ He'd asked her a few days into their voyage.

" _Because you're good, and because I trust you."_

Her confession completely blew him away, and with each passing moment that they were in each other's company, Killian fell more and more in love with her. It could hardly be helped, Emma was so miraculous and so full of life that he would wager a hundred men had lost their hearts to her at some time or another, but she never paid another man on the ship any mind. Aside from an easy string of conversation with Liam each morning, Emma spent her time either by herself or at Killian's side. Even with the other women she hesitated to connect, remaining kind and courteous, but closed off. She was a mystery to most of the people aboard this ship, but Killian knew her better than he knew himself.

He knew, for example, that Emma preferred rum to tea (which she classified as stale and unappealing), that she favored the color red over all others, and that she fancied herself capable of blending into the background. She'd told him a month into the journey that as an orphan, it was easy for her to go through life unseen, but he didn't believe it. Killian was absolutely certain that Emma would stand out in any situation. She was too perfect to not be the center of the universe, and he wanted to make her see that, even if it technically wasn't his place.

And there was the problem, the one clinging to his heart tonight – Emma was promised to someone else, a man she'd never even met before. It was the cruelest trick of fate, to think that Emma would walk off this boat tomorrow when they made it to port and leave his life forever. If that were to be the case it would mean the best days of Killian's life were behind him, for surely there could be nothing better than loving Emma and being in her presence day in and day out.

"How did I know I would find you here?"

Killian turned to find the siren in question, leaning against the railing just beside him. She was quiet in her approach, but he'd sensed her a few moments before she spoke, because his body was particularly attuned to her and her alone. He tried his best not to let his eyes feast upon her but it was difficult since the moon was full and the lantern light from across the ship cast her face in pale lights that made her look even more angelic.

"Because you are privy to every part of me, Swan."

Emma smiled at his use of just her last name. She'd been begging him to call her Emma forever, dreading the title 'Miss Swan' more than anything, so they compromised. When they were alone he dropped the title, comforting her and granting him the illusion that she was tied up enough with him to make the break in politeness okay.

"How do you do it?" Killian's brow furrowed.

"Do what love?"

"Go back to the real world after all this time at sea. I keep trying to remember life before this and I can't, and yet I know come tomorrow it will all just be some spectacular dream." Killian's heart clenched painfully. On the one had he was happy to know that for Emma these past few months would be considered a bright spot in her life, but on the other he was drowning in his own remorse that they would even have to say goodbye at all.

"I'm not entirely sure, love. I've never managed to stay away from the sea for long, but perhaps some of the magic of the voyage wasn't in the setting but the company."

Killian knew it was too forward, that he was going to hell for even granting himself a chance like this, but he couldn't help reaching for her hand and reveling in the zinging pleasure that followed. The connection when he touched Emma was unparalleled, and he'd never felt more at home in his life, even if the whole world was crumbling down because she was set to leave him.

"Perhaps I should look into returning too. Do you think I'd make a good sailor?"

Killian's breath caught when Emma turned her hand in his, her thumb coming to trace against his wrist lightly. It was intimate, a touch he felt coursing through his very spirit but then the darkness came again when he remembered how this couldn't happen. Yet the pain of removing himself from her in any way was too much.

"The best, love. But I hardly think your husband will look fondly on the change in course." Mentioning the man, whoever he was, aloud was torture itself, but it was made all the worse by the hurt expression that flicked over Emma's eyes.

"My husband?" Emma asked, clearly confused.

"Aye love, or rather the man you're promised to come tomorrow." Something passed over Emma's face that surprised him. There was humor there, and a bit of hope despite the hopelessness of the situation.

"Killian, I'm not sailing towards a husband."

There were no words to express the confounded emotions within him. One moment he'd been a man living with the bleakest of fates before him, the next he was born again, seeing the world for the first time in a long time as one that might work out in his favor. He hardly knew what to think or feel or say, but all that shone through was a need to know everything. Was Emma unclaimed? Was she free from attachment and so able to make her own choice? And if she was, could she ever possibly consider him, a man who loved her more than he'd ever loved anything before?

"But the others…"

"Have a vastly different world view than me, haven't you seen that?"

He had, and it had plagued him for months why Emma would be subjecting herself to the life these other women claimed to want. They weren't dreaming of any romance or passion, just comfort and stability. On some level he understood that, especially if they were running from situations that were unstable or harmful, but with Emma… it simply ripped his soul apart to think that she would settle for anything but the realest, truest love.

"Aye, love. I just assumed - Liam informed that all the maidens aboard were bound for matrimony." Emma smiled kindly before casting her gaze back to the sea and the multitude of stars that surrounded them on this clear, mild night.

"I asked him to keep my intentions a secret. I didn't want to risk undue attention. I…"

The longing in Emma's voice as it wafted over the tiny bit of space that remained between them pierced something in Killian. The slight warble in the melodic tones he'd grown accustomed to from her mirrored his own enormity of feeling. He was desperate to hear more, because maybe – just maybe – she felt as he did underneath it all.

"You what, love?" Her eyes flicked back to him.

"I wasn't expecting you."

This was the sign he'd been looking for. In her words alone there wasn't a complete reveal of attachment, but it was more than Killian had ever hoped for and as such it prompted him to pull the ring that had been burning a hole in his pocket since the first night Emma boarded this ship. Her eyes went wide as he bent down on one knee, her free hand that he wasn't still holding covering her mouth in surprise. But her eyes, Gods her eyes were a swirling sea of happiness and hope that sparked the words he'd been dying to say.

"Emma, I know I'm just a sailor, a humble man when you deserve a king, but you must know that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, without question and without uncertainty. You are the single most precious part of my life, the best part of every day, and I beg you to consider me, to make me the happiest of men by being my wife."

Killian didn't know what he expected. Perhaps a beat of silence where she considered or even a refusal. It was all too unbelievable to think that she could really love as fiercely as he did. Yet her reaction, that radiant smile shining down on him and the fresh tears in her eyes that went with it, coupled with the single most beautiful word that passed her lips was better than anything he'd ever known before.

"Yes."

With her agreement and slightly shaky hands, he slipped the ring upon her finger, knowing that the band and the matching sapphire had once been his mother's. She'd always wished the ring would find a happy ending, a love that was real in a world that cared little for affairs of the heart. Now Killian knew he'd granted his mother's final wish, for there had never been a love as strong as his for Emma, and he wagered there would never be another one again.

Killian rose back up to his feet and pulled Emma close, feeling freer when he had Emma wrapped up in his arms than he ever had before. It was liberating, to know that she wanted him and that she'd agreed to be his just as he was so completely and totally hers. Still a trickle of doubt flooded in, despite Emma's joyous look, and he wanted to assure her that they could have more than this. In truth, Killian would do whatever it took to give Emma whatever she wanted. All she had to do was ask.

"We live modestly on the ship, love, but I swear I'll build us a home, a real home. We can have the roots you always wanted, we can -,"

She interrupted his professions with a kiss, one that felt destined and perfect and right. It was as if Killian waited his whole life for this moment, the moment that Emma and he could be one, and it was better than any bloody dream he could ever have had. For this was real, an embrace mixed with need and passion and something so much purer – love.

"I want _you_ , Killian. I want you just as you are because I love you. I love you so much more than I can say. So wherever we go, however we live, it will be more than enough. It'll be everything."

He ran his hand along her cheek, taking in his bride to-be, and he basked in this feeling, knowing that with Emma by his side it would never go away. As long as she was with him he'd be fated for a happy life, a life that mattered, with purpose and love and every good thing.

"Killian?" Her voice was warm and washed upon his skin, seeping to his soul and blending with the magic of their moment.

"Yes, my love?" She smiled at the endearment, the subtle change that meant the world to him and to her.

"I just have one thing to ask."

"Anything, Emma. I will give you anything." Her hand ran lightly across his chest, a silent show of her appreciation for his devotion.

"Let's not wait. All we need is Liam and the two of us. I want to marry you tonight."

"You're sure?" He begged the question not because he was adverse to such a plan (truth be told it was exactly to his liking), but because he didn't want to deny Emma the chance at a wedding in white, with flowers in her hair, a church full of people looking on and wishing them well.

"Yes Killian I'm sure. This is exactly how I've dreamed it."

Killian grinned at the thought that Emma had imagined this. Lord knew he'd done the same, but he was still in shock that this was his life and that the story was turning out so exceptionally well. It was that shock that kept him immobile, clinging to his Swan as he was instead of rushing to retrieve his brother as a more sensible man would.

"And besides, I think we'd both rather like me to be your wife sooner rather than later. We have a lot of time to make up for." Killian growled out a sound of affirmation that lit up Emma's eyes and he brought both her hands up to kiss gently.

"We have our whole lives ahead of us, my love, and it starts right now."

With that they set off to find Liam (who of course agreed, claiming he'd expected such a call to action far sooner) and they were wed, declared man and wife out there on the sea under a starry night as they both so wished. And in their eyes it was perfect, a series of wonderful moments in a life filled with similar happiness. Adventure, a family, a place to call home: they found it all, and amazingly enough, they found it together.

…..

 _Twenty young women were there on the dock_ _  
_ _From an orphanage East of Paris_ _  
_ _Girls without fathers now King Louis' daughters_ _  
_ _Who'd chosen to cross the wide sea_ _  
_ _Nervous and hopeful, no strangers to toil_ _  
_ _They'll do well in the new lives they'll lead_ _  
_ _As honourable wives in a place called Quebec_ _  
_ _They're not meant for a sailor like me_ __

 _Nineteen young women asleep in their bunks_ _  
_ _But one up on deck here with me_ _  
_ _She's watching the stars with the wind in hair_ _  
_ _And she tells me her name is Marie_ _  
_ _No stranger to laughter, no stranger to joy_ _  
_ _And a spirit as wild as the sea_ _  
_ _She'll make a man happy in distant Quebec_ _  
_ _But he won't be a sailor like me_ __

 _Thirty long days from the broad St. Laurent_ _  
_ _And the other girls scarce have been seen_ _  
_ _But Marie's gone and learned all the terms of the trade_ _  
_ _And her feet found the roll of the sea_ _  
_ _All the boys love her and everyone jokes_ _  
_ _That her smiles carry more than I see_ _  
_ _I don't know what she wants in la ville de Quebec_ _  
_ _But she can't want a sailor like me._ __

 _But I've borrowed a ring from my friend P'tit Robert_ _  
_ _And the boys have all left us alone_ _  
_ _And I've asked what she'd think of a life in the town_ _  
_ _And a husband who's not always home_ _  
_ _Then she's laughed and she's kissed me_ _  
_ _And told me that love is more precious than land on la Rive_ _  
_ _Thank God that she chose to go out to Quebec_ _  
_ _And she wanted a sailor like me_

 _ **Post-Note: So first and foremost shout out to the lovely reader who suggested this song months and months ago. It took me far too long to get to this prompt, but the story finally came to me this weekend, and I am so thankful that it did. I hope that all of you enjoyed, and thank you to all of you guys who have prompted songs or tropes to be included in future chapters. It means a lot and I am happy to say that thanks to you guys the mixtape has a long, bright future still ahead of it!**_


	128. Sail On

_**A/N: Reader requested Captain Duckling AU where Princess Emma falls in love with pirate Captain Killian Jones. There's a misunderstanding though and Emma mistakenly believes Killian has left without so much as a word to say goodbye. She's heartbroken but soon finds out the truth – he isn't going anywhere at all. In fact, quite the opposite. Includes a proposal (obviously) and angst turned to fluff fluff fluff. Inspired by the song 'Sail On' by Ryn Weaver.**_

As the earliest trickles of morning light came in through the window of Emma's bedroom, she found herself wide awake, knowing that there never came a moment last night when she was even remotely close to sleep.

The anticipation of finally sorting out a way to be with the man that she loved had kept Emma up all through the night. She'd left the warmth and safety of Killian's arms too soon for her liking and came back here to the palace so as not to risk being found out by her parents or any attendants in the castle. It wasn't like her to keep secrets, but the risk was too great. The last thing she wanted was to put what she'd found with Killian in harms way by not handling things correctly, even if Emma knew in her heart that she couldn't stand many more days of separation.

She walked for a while upon returning through the gardens and though it was dark, the moon was full and the stars were bright enough to let Emma see the hedges and rows she meandered through. She took comfort in the fact that Killian was under these same stars and moon, and that he too wouldn't sleep a wink. It was clear when she'd kissed him goodbye early that he was just as raddled with energy as she was, and all of it was because custom dictated that they shouldn't be together, and that Emma never should have even had the chance to meet a man like him.

Finally she returned to her room after the exercise proved fruitless in wearing her out. Emma searched for something to divert her but nothing came. Every time she came close to shifting into thoughts of something else, she'd remember what was coming and the promises that one particular sailor had made to her.

" _There is nothing I won't do to see you happy, Emma. You are the light in my world, and I want to bask in that light all the days of my life. I will find a way for us to be together, you have my solemn vow that I will."_

With words like that Killian took Emma's breath away, and it was hard to imagine him as the man she first met on the docks months ago. Back then Killian was a hardened pirate who had lost his brother and left a royal navy to take up the black flag. He was a ruffian and a rogue, and the exact opposite of what Emma's parents wanted for her, but underneath that leather and the cocky type of charm, was a good man, a man who felt so much and who looked at her like she was the answer to questions he'd been grappling with all his life.

A flirtation on the docks when Emma could get away from the palace and Killian happened to be in town was the first step for them, and for a long time he didn't know that she was a princess. Emma managed to keep that little detail a secret, but finally guilt got the best of her. She was scared of how much she was starting to feel for him and of the many emotions that were in his eyes every time they met and so she came clean. At first he was shocked, but then he took it all in stride, saying that made whatever this was between them even more miraculous. A princess and a pirate should never fall in love, yet here they were.

And this was love; that had been clear to Emma since almost the very start. She felt all of those giddy emotions that her parents had spoken of when they told her and her little brother about finding true love, and Emma instinctively knew that Killian was the only man she could ever feel this way about. True love might be rare, but Emma was convinced, with or without a test like her parents once faced that this was it. She would give anything to have Killian in her life, even her right to the throne if that was what her parents or the people of her kingdom would wish.

The only thing Emma couldn't accept was a life without Killian in it. She'd learned enough over the years to know that one should never turn their back on love, and she wasn't going to be stupid enough to try. Instead she was running towards him (and this bond between them) and not running away. Emma had every reason to be terrified, but the surest sense of comfort was always Killian each and every time.

Now all that she wanted to do was to go and find him, but they had a plan in place. He was going to meet her later when he could get his usual signal to her, and until then she would wait. But the waiting was hard, and the hours that separated dawn and a more reasonable point in the day passed sluggishly. Emma's restlessness grew more and more prominent with every passing minute until finally she gave up with waiting all together. She slipped from her room and passed some of her handmaidens, letting them know she would be gone for the rest of the morning.

"But Princess -," Emma shook her head, ignoring the young woman who had concerns.

"I'll be back soon enough. But right now I have to go." The girl wanted to say more but she bit her tongue and Emma breathed a sigh of relief when she was finally out the big front doors of the palace. 

From here she didn't have a plan. Emma could arguably take a horse to the coastline and see Killian that way, but her impatience was too pressing and so she decided to go with her magic instead. With a flick of her wrist she vanished from the palace grounds and reappeared off the road right by the docks. It surprised her to see so few people strolling about. Usually at this time of morning there were more of Killian's men on the docks bartering, walking off last nights stay at the tavern, or doing something of the like, but the streets today were quiet, and Emma found out why when she turned the corner and found that the dock was empty. The Jolly Roger was gone.

"No that can't be," Emma said aloud to the empty space around her and then she caught a sight in the distance that filled her with the deepest sense of pain: the Jolly Roger on the horizon, sailing away from her.

 _But why?_ Her mind cried out.

It was impossible to comprehend. Last night they'd been stealing moments together, promising they were going to find a way to have each other and to be together no matter what, and now here she was, facing a numbness Emma couldn't explain. All of this was too much and her body felt like it was caving in on itself. She hated to think that her happiness depended on any one person, but it did depend on the truth, and Emma was so sure of Killian. Even now her heart screamed that something was wrong. She was missing something but she couldn't tell what it was.

Having never faced the prospect of a broken heart, Emma didn't know exactly how to bear the disorientation of it. There was so much swirling around inside her: heartache, sadness, grief, and sorrow, but also anger. This rage couldn't be tampered down as she came to terms with the idea that Killian would just leave like that. Why would he do that? Was love not enough for him? Was there something wrong? Or – god help her – had her parents found out and sent him away?

No they couldn't have done that, and the Killian she knew - the Killian that she loved - would never just sail away without a fight. But he also wouldn't leave his ship or his men. He was a captain and as such a man with a code, a man of honor, and he felt a great deal of loyalty to his crew, so Emma had to believe that he was out there with them. If there'd been some kind of takeover, or mutiny, surely the people around here would be speaking of it, but every passing stranger went on with their lives as if the world wasn't shattering apart all around her.

Summoning her magic to get back to the palace took more brute strength then Emma thought she could possibly muster, and by the time she'd arrived back in her palace grounds she was heaving for breath. It was impossibly difficult to carry all of this, but she didn't want to succumb to a reality like this one. Emma couldn't stand to let him go or let go the hope that life could have been more than the charmed living of a princess – it could have had light and adventure and most importantly love.

" _Emma?"_

Emma closed her eyes and pleaded with her heart not to be so cruel. Killian's voice must have been an illusion at this point, but she was too weak not to pivot in the direction from whence it came. When she turned and saw Killian there, standing in the garden with her parents, Emma could have sworn he was real. Then he was moving towards her and taking her face in his hands, searching for what the problem was and she realized that he was. He was here! Killian was here! She'd been mistaken – he wasn't gone at all. He was in her home, in her world, and suddenly all the pain of just a moment ago was gone, leaving only relief in its stead.

"Emma, love, what's wrong?" His concern was more than evident in his tone and Emma was so wrapped up in his being real that she didn't even think of what her parents must be thinking.

"You're here," She barely got the words out but her hands came up to clutch his jacket. Feeling that familiar touch of leather was the sweetest form of comfort and another bit of proof that he was actually here with her.

"Of course I am, love, and if you'll let me I plan to be here for the long haul." Emma felt the tears slip down her face then and he looked pained as he wiped the tears away. "Emma, _please_. Tell me what's happened."

"I went to the docks. I saw the Jolly sailing away." Immediately he blanched and then in a swift move he had her in his arms for a real embrace.

"Gods no, Emma. I can't imagine what you must have thought. But surely you know I could never leave you now. It's simply not an option." Emma pulled back and ran her hand against his cheek.

"I didn't know what to think. You weren't there."

"No he wasn't." The words wafted over to them from her mother and Emma remembered that they were not alone. She took a step back from Killian, but never let go of him, holding his hand surely and staring at her parents head on. "He was here with us, informing us of his intentions."

"You did what?!" Emma asked looking at Killian, unsure if she was delighted or angry with the fact that he'd done this. On the one hand there was this thrill of pleasure at the thought that he'd face that kind of task for her, and on the other she wished that she had been with him. There was no reason for him to face this alone. She could have helped. She could have been here.

"It had to be done, Emma. I couldn't live a lie another day, and any moment when I'm not with you feels like one." Emma softened at that and offered a small smile.

"Are you crazy? What if they threw you in the dungeon?" she asked, trying to break the palpable tension.

"We thought about it," her father replied before letting out a harsh exhale when her mother slapped his chest.

"We most certainly did _not_ think about that. Besides, I already knew," Queen Snow said in a matter of fact tone.

"You did?!" Emma and her father asked at the same time.

"Of course I did! It's a mother's job to know these things. It was clear as day something was different – all I had to do was follow the clues to get to the truth."

Emma was speechless for a moment because she always thought she was being so careful. It took so much effort for her to put on a face of everything being the same here at home. To hear that she hadn't been as guarded as she believed and that her mother had been able to find out the truth shocked her, but it also filled her with a rush of warmth. Her mother knew about Killian but she hadn't tried to come between them. She didn't try to halt their union, so in some ways she must approve.

"And you kept the secret all this time?" Emma asked.

"I know. I'm sure you're all amazed, but I wanted you to come and tell me yourself. I know it can't have been easy given the… unusual situation… but if you really love him, Emma, you have to know that your father and I will give our blessing. We trust you to know your own heart and to make the right choices for _you_ , whatever they might be."

Emma looked from her mother and father back to Killian and she saw an openness to his emotions. He wasn't hiding his love for her in the slightest, and Emma couldn't hide hers either. She wanted the whole world to know exactly where she stood, beginning with her parents.

"I do – love Killian I mean. And all I want is for us to be together and to still be a part of this family." Emma noticed the way the tic in her father's jaw lessened and he sincerely looked to Emma to convey his opinion.

"You will _always_ be in this family, Emma. There's nothing you could do to change how much we love you. Even marrying a pirate." Emma felt herself turning red at her father's words. Now that was awfully presumptive, because even if they'd said they loved each other, nothing had ever been decided about marriage.

"We're not – I mean, we haven't decided -," Killian brought Emma's attention back to him with a gentle pull of her hand.

"Actually love, you're father's right. I came to ask you-,"

"Wait!" Emma said pressing her hand over his lips, surprising her parents and Killian. She looked from the man she loved who she knew was about to make her so ridiculously happy back to her parents. "Could we maybe have a little privacy?"

"Oh. Um, well, sure. We'll just be over -," Emma didn't give her mother the chance to finish her reply before she flicked her wrist, taking her and Killian to her favorite spot on the palace grounds where there was no one around.

"Okay, now ask me." Killian's grin was contagious and Emma felt she was about to burst with happiness. That feeling only grew stronger when he pressed a kiss to her hand gently and then bent down on one knee.

"Emma, I have lived a life in and out of shadows, made choices I'm not proud of time and time again, and doubted if I'd ever get a chance at happiness in my life. But the best thing that's ever happened to me was finding you, and the best decision I ever made was letting you in."

"Me too," Emma said, unable to help herself and Killian chuckled, the sound low and healing, washing over her and leaving nothing but pleasure in it's wake.

"You weren't supposed to walk into my life that day on the docks – we weren't supposed to find our forevers in each other – but somehow we made our way to here and now, like it was fated, or written in the stars. I love you, Emma, with everything I am and I promise to always love you and to always walk beside you in good times and bad. Everything I have is yours, anything you want I will aspire to get for you, and every dream you hold close I promise to fight for, because that's nothing less than you deserve. All I ask in return is that you grant this pirate the one wish I hold most dear: will you marry me?"

"Yes, Killian. I will."

The brightness that came to his striking blue eyes when she agreed stole Emma's breath away, and that feeling of total rightness stayed when he slipped the beautiful ring upon her finger and then stood, pulling her close and holding onto her like she was the most precious person in all the realms. It was a perfect moment, a sublime glimpse into a happily ever after that they both so dearly wanted, and they sealed that moment with a kiss ripped from the pages of a storybook.

And from that day on, neither Emma nor Killian ever doubted their love or the fact that they were meant to be together and to find their happiness side by side.

…..

 _I took your hand and  
And held it in my clutch  
But it was never mine to hold  
Your loving's something of a Midas touch  
The ones you need you turn to stone_

 _Well sail on  
Sail on, till you're gone  
And then some  
With all your broken pieces, pieces_

 _Well sail on  
Sail on, till you're gone  
And then some  
With all your broken pieces, pieces_

 _And now you're spewing out those lonely lies  
You say you'd change it all around  
But you'll be gone again when the wind does blow  
Oh sailor, another stake to claim with your  
Flag upon the ground_

 _Oh, oh, sail on  
Sail on, till you're gone  
And then some  
With all your broken pieces, pieces_

 _Well sail on  
Sail on, till you're gone  
And then some  
With all your broken pieces, pieces_

 _Shatter the light, and let it go  
Whatever time it'll take to break it  
Burning out bright  
And sounding the sirens_

 _Sail on, sail on, sail on, sail on, sail on..._

 _ **Post-Note: So thank you first and foremost to the reader who asked for this fic. You were very specific and I appreciate your vision and your trusting me to try and make it real. I don't get to write a ton of these EF AUs, but it is always fun when I get the chance. Also I LOVE this song, but I hadn't been able to find a way to make it work. I think it fits in well with the bit of angst I tried to put Emma through in this chapter though, even if their story ends up much happier than the song's heartbreak does. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!**_


	129. Getaway

_**A/N: Reader prompted AU where Emma works in a bar and though she doesn't need saving, she does need to get the hell out of dodge. Enter Killian Jones, a man on the wrong side of the law, who's been tempting Emma since he fist stepped into town two weeks ago. I've decided to couple this chapter with the song 'Getaway' by Tritonal and Angel Taylor since my reader didn't give a specific song.**_

"Come on, sweetheart. Don't pretend you haven't been making eyes at me all night long."

It took a herculean effort for Emma not to actively hurl at that proposition from the sleazy guy across the bar who'd introduced himself as Walsh before setting down to drink almost a full bottle of their cheapest scotch. He was three sheets to the wind, handsy with every woman in here, and a royal loser as far as Emma was concerned, yet here he sat, insisting he had a chance with her. Leave it to a man to be that freaking delusional.

Thanks to this hole-in-the-wall bar being one of the only places in a fifty-mile radius, and its easy access to a cross-country highway, Emma had barely any regulars and a whole host of characters that came in here night in and night out. She'd discovered over her three months of being on staff at _Gold's_ that daytime shifts were almost always better. Sometimes they got families in the restaurant portion for lunch or at least more people who weren't actively trying to get hammered, but at night the crowds were hit or miss. Tonight was a definite miss… well, aside from one person.

Emma glanced towards the back corner of the bar and felt the same swarming of butterflies low in her gut when she did. The familiar stranger who'd been in town for about two weeks was here, and right now his eyes were on her and the man who was giving her all this grief. Emma could practically feel the anger radiating off of him, but when she looked at him it eased some and the clench in his jaw lessened. She offered him a small smile and mouthed the word 'refill' to him in a silent question, but he shook his head and offered her a smile of his own. The punch it packed was inescapable, and before Emma could do something stupid like blush in the face of it, she tore her gaze away from him.

"That man is downright sinful," Emma's coworker Ruby offered and Emma was definitely in agreement with that assessment. It was one of many words she'd use to describe him, but sinful just seemed to have the right amount of edge to do him justice.

"You said it."

Ruby looked surprised at Emma's engaging with thoughts on the customers at all, but soon after delight lit up the brunette's features. Since Emma first set foot in this bar Ruby had been trying to get through to her somehow, but Emma kept her an arms length away, not because she didn't like Ruby, but because she wasn't going to be here long. Three months was already way past her norm, but things had diverted from Emma's plan, and to make a very long story short she didn't have a mode of transport out of this podunk town save for hitchhiking with one of the less than stellar characters who stopped in here for a spell. She was still a few weeks off from having the money to do so, and part of Emma was glad, because if she had left on her normal timetable, she never would have met _him_.

Emma's eyes looked back up to the stranger across the room and when she did his eyes were still on her. He didn't try to hide his interest, but Emma had to wonder about him. For two long weeks he'd been coming into this bar, at first with other friends of his who had now since left, but other than a few words when he ordered and when he left each night he didn't say much to her. She still didn't even know his name and she found herself wanting to know that and so much more about him.

"Seems like someone's interested," Ruby's words pulled Emma back from her new favorite pastime of trying to guess what a man like that could possibly call himself.

There was no reason to try and deny this guy's brand of sex appeal. Emma had met a lot of people in her life, mostly because she never stayed in one place for long, but none of them were like him. Dark hair, a trimmed but prominent beard, and eyes so blue they put every remembrance she had of the ocean to shame, made him certifiably attractive but then there was the rest of him.

He had the most commanding presence that denied anyone the chance to overlook him, but Emma noticed that he tried to blend in. The only person he ever went out of his way to speak with at all was Emma. He always sat himself in her sections or waited until she could be the one to see him, but then every time they spoke he was a complete gentleman. He didn't pry or get overly flirtatious, and Emma found herself wishing he would. He looked one way and acted another, and Emma was almost desperate to find out who he really was underneath it all.

The man was also seemingly averse to color, opting for black and occasionally dark blues every time she'd seen him (which was every day since he first rode into town on that bike of his), and he had the leather to go with that chopper. He had bad boy written all over him between the tattoos and the slight trace of a scar on his face, but Emma didn't mind. Despite her usual aversion to… well, everyone, Emma kept getting pulled back into this guy's orbit. He hadn't been far from her thoughts in two weeks, and that left her a little dizzy and more than a bit curious.

"Maybe I am," Emma finally countered and Ruby slapped her hand loudly on the bar and put her other hand on her hip.

"Okay well that does it. You are going to talk to him and you're going to ask him two things: first, what is a hunk like that is doing camped out in this craptastic town? And two why hasn't he made a move when he clearly wants to?"

"Ruby I don't think -," Emma was going to counter that she was at work and that more importantly she didn't do things like this, but Ruby interrupted her with a mere wave of her hand.

"Good, don't think," Ruby said as she poured two shots out for Emma and her. She handed one to Emma and continued with her plan. "You're going to take that drink, take your little bit of liquid courage, and change your fate. Because if you don't I will snatch him up for myself."

"Yeah right. And leave your sheriff? I don't think so."

Ruby grinned at the mention of Graham, her reason for staying in this town when she might otherwise like to be somewhere else. Graham was the law around here, and he had been for about a year, but him and Ruby had plans to move on to greener pastures in another year or so. Ruby truly loved him despite her insinuation to the contrary, so Emma knew her threat was empty, but she still did not like the idea of any woman approaching her stranger. _Oh god_ – now she was getting territorial over a guy whose name she didn't even know? This was rich, and probably really bad.

"Come on, Emma. Enough stalling. Go and show that guy you're no damsel in distress. You're acting like you've never asked for a guys number before."

Emma decided not to tell Ruby that she actually hadn't. You didn't really need numbers when your love life up to this point consisted of youthful infatuations and one-night stands that never lived past the next morning. But the idea of just one night with this guy was less than Emma wanted, and that was only mildly petrifying.

"Play all you want, darling, but I know you want me," the same drunk said from down the counter, interrupting Emma and Ruby and pulling an eye roll from both women.

"What I _want_ is a boss who lets us kick out assholes, instead of insisting everyone who pays can stay," Emma offered to Ruby, ignoring the guy some more as she downed her shot and felt the heat scorching the back of her throat. She never drank on the job, but Ruby was right. She needed this.

"From your lips to God's ears," Ruby added as she tossed her own drink back and then she smiled again, offering Emma a tray of refills for a group across the way. "Table eight is right by your stranger if you want to go…"

"He's not _my_ anything," Emma added though she couldn't ignore the stirring in her heart that came when Ruby made the connection. Her eyes flicked back in his direction and he was still watching her, still just as intense as he ever was.

"You could change that. All you have to do is let him in."

Ruby said that like it was easy, but if she knew Emma past the workplace sort-of friendship they'd formed, she'd know it was anything but. Life had taught Emma time and time again that she couldn't just give herself away. Walls might make living lonely, but they also served a purpose. They kept her safe and whole and above the deluge of emotions that would come if she ever really had to face her past or all that was missing from her present.

Yet there was also a tiny voice in the back of Emma's mind that said Ruby was right. It might not be easy, and it definitely wasn't her M.O. but Emma could make a choice to take a risk. She could be braver and put herself out there. Who knew? Maybe the bad boy biker had more in common with a lost girl running from her own demons than she thought. Maybe there were more than a handful of moments in store for them. Maybe there was a future.

The thought inspired Emma to take the tray and to move around the bar, but as she did, she felt the unwanted hands of her not so secret admirer from the bar on her ass. Immediately she twisted, pinning Walsh with an angry stare and a serious tone that would stop any sensible person dead in their tracks.

"Don't touch me."

The bar went quiet except for the sound of someone rising to their feet. Emma didn't even have to look back to know it was her stranger. She just sensed it and felt her own courage rising when she did. He had her back if she needed it, and even if she was more than capable of taking care of herself, that thought eased some of the knots in her chest that came from someone trying to take advantage of her, no matter how smarmy or weak he was underneath the unfounded swagger.

"Now come on darlin', there's no need to play so hard to get."

Walsh moved for her again and Emma tossed the tray to the empty table beside her with a loud clang while she twisted his arm painfully and put him up against the counter. He groaned out a sound of pain as his face planted into the bar top, and though Emma didn't delight in hurting anyone, she did appreciate that it meant he wasn't able to put his hands on her again.

"I'm not playing with you. Touch me again and you will see just how serious I am."

"Miss Swan!" Emma glanced up to the owner of this bar who went by Mr. Gold (though after a few months of working here, Emma was pretty sure that was an alias meant to make him seem grander than he was) who sneered at her. "Let the man go and say you're sorry."

"Say I'm sorry? _Me_?"

Emma was flabbergasted and yet part of her was not at all surprised. Her boss was a dick, and he'd never tried to hide that. But something was different today, something had broken inside of her and she wasn't willing to accept this anymore or write it off as another spot of bad luck in her pretty pathetic life. Instead she let go of the guy and took off her apron in quick, sure movements.

"Screw that. I quit!"

"You can't quit," Gold said, seeming for the first time a little worried that she meant it.

"Ha! Watch me."

Emma slammed down the apron and headed out the door with just a small salute to Ruby that silently wished her good luck and then a final glance at her stranger. He was still standing, watching her go and she didn't know whether to be embarrassed or proud of herself so she just headed out into the warm night outside.

When the cool breeze hit her skin, Emma began to realize everything she'd just done and she moved into autopilot. She had to get out of here, she had to keep moving, but damn it her bug was long gone after that last thousand mile trek across the country to get the need to run out of her system. She was stuck here, and while she could ask Ruby to get her to the bus station a few counties over, she couldn't ask her to leave in the middle of her shift. There weren't many places around here offering employment after all.

Just like there weren't many places offering a room to rent. The sad fact of the matter was that Emma was actually a tenant of Mr. Gold's and she doubted he'd be letting her stay now that she was leaving him high and dry. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place, desperate to leave, but without a way to do so.

"Are you alright, love?"

Emma turned to the now familiar voice and found her stranger looking truly concerned for her. The sight of someone actually caring caused a lump to form in her throat. Emma was an exceptionally good judge of character with a sixth sense for whether or not someone was full of it, but this guy was genuine. He wanted to know if she was okay, and she weirdly wanted to tell him.

"I've been better, but I've also been worse," she admitted and he offered a ghost of a smile as he stepped closer. Emma didn't retreat from him as she might of with other people, and honestly she wished he'd close the gap more.

"How can I help?" he asked candidly.

"Do you have some magical lead on a cheap car so I can get the hell out of here?" Emma joked.

"No, but I have my bike and a want to see you safe. I'm at your service should you need me." Emma laughed, not because she found him funny, but because he was just so out of place. What was a biker doing with words like that and a face filled with sweet sincerity?

"Just like that?" she asked.

"Just like that," he promised.

Emma could feel the truth radiating off of him and it paralyzed her. She was so overwhelmed by his willingness to be of help, but all her old alarms were blaring in her mind saying that there were always strings. Nothing was every free – there was always a price when it came to kindness.

"Why?"

"Because you deserve the help, love, and because you're too damn good for a place like this. I've been trying to find a way to tell you that since I first saw you, but no words I had seemed to do you justice. You're impossible to describe."

Emma let that sink in and felt the waves of pleasure and uncertainty that came in the face of such a confession. That he thought so highly of her was a real compliment, but she honestly didn't know how to handle a guy who said things like that without some kind of angle. He wasn't standing here saying she was gorgeous and thinking she might be an easy, vulnerable lay. He looked at her like she was worth something and then offered his hand to her gently like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Come with me. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. All you have to do is say the word." Emma closed her eyes briefly loving the sound of that, of going away with him of all people, but she had to be smarter than this.

"I don't even know your name," she said frankly.

"Killian Jones, and before you ask, I'm a bad bet, love, and I know that. By all accounts I'm someone you want to avoid not run _with_ , but bloody hell I'm hoping you'll look past that. Let me be of use to you. Let me get you out of here. I want to help. I need to help."

"I'm Emma." She offered her name as she tried to wrap her mind around all of his words and his intensity and he smiled, his hand coming to brush away a strand of her of her hair behind her ear. It felt like she was surrounded by sunlight when he did, even though it was late, and the sun was long gone.

"I know. I've been paying attention, but you already know that." She did know that, but it was still nice to hear.

"Why?" Emma asked the same question again, unable to let go of how surreal it felt. She needed answers. They were the only thing that would assure her in a situation when so up in the air.

"Because I couldn't walk away. Because you're different, and for the first time in a long time something in my life feels right again."

What could she say to a confession like that? Emma still knew practically nothing about him, but she knew deep in her gut that she could trust Killian. It might be crazy, but for once she was willing to take the risk. With Killian she'd jump, and she started by pulling him down to her by the collar of his jacket for a kiss that started simple and sparked into something deeper, lustier, and more magical than anything she'd ever known. It was an incredible kiss, and it felt like finding home when Emma had never actually had one before. She hated to pull back, especially when his hands were on her body like this, pulling her closer and playing every ounce of desire she had to a beautiful tune, but she did eventually to tell him her decision.

"Okay."

Things from there moved quickly, and Emma was glad that she'd never been terribly sentimental, because her one box of belongings was really all that there was room to bring. When she'd retrieved them and left what could be replaced in her room, she wrote a final note to slip into Ruby's mailbox on their way out of town thanking her for everything and telling her she'd be in touch when she could be. Then when that was done Killian sought Emma's command for their next steps.

"Where to, love?" Emma smiled and realized the answer didn't matter.

"Anywhere. Wherever feels right."

Killian grinned and offered her a helmet before getting them out of town and off on a new adventure. And luckily for both of them, that one leap of faith managed to turn into so much more. For they did find a place that felt right, and they both managed to put down roots and find a home in each other that they'd both so truly wanted.

…

 _Doesn't take much to feel the rush  
With nothing but your eyes on me  
How 'bout we do just like we do  
Two crazy fools just breaking free_

 _No, it don't matter what we've been told  
I can see the skies are gold  
Yeah, it's just you and me and open road, let's go_

 __ _I don't see no red lights, just a wild ride_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway_ _  
_ _Tonight, I'm gonna be alright_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway tonight_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway tonight_ _  
_ _You're my getaway tonight_ __

 _You're my getaway_ _  
_ _I don't see no red lights, just a wild ride_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway_ _  
_ _Tonight, I'm gonna be alright_ _  
_ _You're my getaway tonight_ __

 _It's getting dark, let's light a spark_ _  
_ _Ignite our hearts and burn away_ _  
_ _This is our time, it's do or die_ _  
_ _Come on, let's rise for heaven's sake_ __

 _Oh, it don't matter what we've been told_ _  
_ _I can see the skies are gold_ _  
_ _Yeah, it's just you and me and open road, let's go_ __

 _I don't see no red lights, just a wild ride_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway_ _  
_ _Tonight, I'm gonna be alright_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway tonight_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway tonight_ _  
_ _You're my getaway tonight_ __

 _You're my getaway_ _  
_ _I don't see no red lights, just a wild ride_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway_ _  
_ _Tonight, I'm gonna be alright_ _  
_ _You're my getaway, you're my getaway tonight_ _  
_ _You're my getaway tonight_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you to my lovely reader who asked for this. It took a while to figure out how to write this prompt because I hadn't ever considered a story like this, but I finally stumbled on an idea today after your (very) long wait. I hope it did your vision justice. Anyway thank you all so much for reading, and as always, feel free to send prompts or ideas my way. I'd love the mixtape to have a nice long life and the more song suggestions I get, the easier that will be! And to everyone still waiting, don't worry. I am making my way through the queue slowly but surely.**_


	130. Closer

_**A/N: This is a reader requested AU oneshot inspired by 'Closer' by the Chainsmokers. It is from Killian's POV and includes a reunion for CS after years apart, emotional confrontations, and a smuffy ending because why the hell not. Thank you to the many of you who asked for this song over the past few months and I hope you all enjoy! (Rated M, because it's been a while since we've had some smut in the mixtape).**_

"Can I help you with anything else, sir?" an eager bellhop asked as Killian slid off the final work bag he'd brought on this trip and handed it to the younger man.

It still struck Killian as ridiculous how different people treated him now that he had money. Not so long ago he'd been broke, down on his luck, and frankly angry at the world. Now he had made a name for himself, allowed some of those feelings to cool, and gained that long anticipated control his elder brother Liam spoke so highly of. Yet even with all that, Killian would never feel comfortable with the excess wealth could provide.

"No, that'll be all, thanks."

Killian tipped the lad generously as an attempt at making up for the young man's labor and then set his sights on the necessary next step in his plan. After flying all day Killian was in need of a stiff drink and then a good night's sleep. He'd never achieve the latter, but damn if he wasn't going to go find some rum to ease the tension in his shoulders.

Meandering through the hotel and into the bar area, Killian made eye contact with no one. The last thing he wanted was to invite conversation. Tonight all he wanted was to be left to his own devices. It was better this way, since usually people only disappointed him one way or another, if not upfront then somewhere further down the line.

"Rum, please. Best you've got," Killian tossed to the bartender who set to work immediately, thankfully refraining from any sort of small talk as he did. The drink was in Killian's hand in seconds, and only when he'd pulled from the glass a decent amount of his libation did he look around the place, his eyes catching on one particular booth across the way.

"Bloody hell," Killian whispered to himself disbelievingly.

This was it. This was the moment that Killian Jones realized he'd officially lost his mind. There was no other explanation for the sight before him aside from actual insanity, but he let himself linger in the moment.

Four years ago he'd fallen in love with a girl, a young woman with nothing but fire in her veins and a map of places she'd rather be than where she was. Her name was Emma, and if Killian had to pick a word to describe her it would be remarkable. He'd known her all of a week. Seven days was all it took for him to fall under her spell and to feel the world crumble when she was gone, taking a part of him with her.

There were so many things about Emma that put her out of reach of everyone and everything else. Her perseverance was one thing, her wit another, and there was no denying she was unparalleled when it came to her beauty. But there always seemed to be something more with Emma, something hiding behind her bright green eyes. There was wariness for sure, and a number of walls erected to keep anything that might harm her away, but there had also always been hope. Even in that bitter darkness of the moment when they said goodbye, she'd had it there, under layers and layers of less desirable emotions.

In four years Killian had thought of Emma more times than a proud man would ever admit. He'd spent many a sleepless night wondering where she ended up and if she ever found what she was looking for. Killian once hoped she would choose him and that somehow he could make her as happy as he'd made her, but it wasn't meant to be. Which only made the mirage before him so much more painful, for there, sitting in a booth in his hotel bar was a fantasy he'd created that looked an awful lot like one Emma Swan.

He had to hand it to himself, however. He might be crazy, but Killian's mind had created a perfect image of the Emma he remembered made somehow new. Her old torn jeans were long gone, as were the old converses and her glasses. Tonight her hair was down, hanging in loose curls around her shoulders and she was wearing a dress that was striking in its boldness. The red spoke to passion and heat, and on a woman like Emma it was a certifiable weapon as were the pronounced heels on her feet. She could bring any man to his knees in that getup with just the slightest bit of encouragement.

"She's not real. Just get it together, Jones. She can't possibly be real," Killian whispered under his breath, ignoring the stare he could feel coming from the still silent bartender.

Suddenly the woman in the booth, who Killian truly believed was a figment of his imagination, looked his way and her eyes widened, shock stealing over her beautiful features. Her whole body froze in an instant, her once easy manner turning tight, and Killian swore he heard the word that formed at her lips.

"Killian?"

The realization that he was not drunk enough to be dreaming of the woman he'd long considered the one that got away hit like a freight truck right to Killian's chest, but before he could so much as blink, she was up, throwing money on her table and rushing out. It was then that Killian knew this was truly Emma and that all these years later she was still running.

 _Not this time!_ Killian thought to himself and he left without so much as a glance to his drink or the bartender, moving out of the hotel the same way she did before calling out to her.

"Emma! Emma, wait!"

She froze at his words and it felt like the sweetest relief to have the chance to reach her, to take her hand and have this woman who'd haunted him since the day she left all those years ago not run when he did. The tumult of emotions inside of Killian right now was intense, the words he wanted to say were jumbled because of it, but all he knew was that he needed to keep her here. Watching Emma walk away was hell, and he wasn't willing to go through that again.

"It's really you," he finally said and Emma's eyes flicked up to his, the swirl of fear and something a lot like longing in them tugging at his gut when she did.

"Yeah it's me," Emma whispered, staring at him intently before pulling her hand back gently. It pained Killian to let her do it, but he also couldn't force her into anything. It was pushing her too hard and too fast that had caused Emma to flee the first time, and Killian wasn't about to repeat that mistake again.

"What are you doing here, Swan?" he asked, hearing the desperation and blatant need in his voice. Emma, however, seemed to take it as anger, and she immediately tried to retreat again.

"I'm sorry. If I knew you would be here I…"

"Wouldn't have been," Killian finished for her and Emma looked actually pained at his observation.

"No I wouldn't. I think I've done enough damage in your life at this point."

It was on the tip of his tongue to say that she hadn't, to claim that there had been no moment when he wrote her off completely, but he didn't and before he could take things a different way she was moving again, rushing to a car that wasn't the same yellow bug she once drove around. It felt like a loss to see that she'd given up that memorable contraption, but what was worse was that Emma was just leaving him again.

"Come on, Emma. Please, let's just talk about this!"

"Look, Killian. Let's not, okay?" she asked, desperately. Her hands shook as she unlocked the car but before she could open the door, Killian's hand came out and closed it again. He knew if she'd wanted to actually fend him off she could, but instead Emma's eyes closed and she slumped against the car.

"Why did you go, love? At least tell me that," Killian begged and Emma let out a shaky laugh.

"I don't know, maybe because the only thing I'm great at is running. Or because self-sabotage just seemed so much easier than admitting how I feel. Either way I was stupid and yet here I am doing the same freaking thing all over again."

There were many things to process about her words, but Killian's attention caught most keenly on her use of the present tense. He had lived in a world without hope of seeing Emma for so long, and now she was here, and more than that she'd let it slip that maybe he wasn't the only one regretting how things ended. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that if given the opportunity, Emma would try and change their fates just as he would.

"How you _feel_?" Killian urged and Emma blinked at him before blushing that same shade of pink he remembered from years ago. It made her even more beautiful somehow, which frazzled his thoughts all the more.

"How I _felt_. It was years ago, Killian. Can't we just chalk it up to one fantastic week and leave it at that?"

"You thought it was fantastic too?" Killian asked, moving closer to her and watching the way she leaned into the motion. Despite her running, Emma's instincts were doing anything but retreating, and that soothed some of the endless ache in Killian's chest.

"You know I did," Emma admitted quietly and cast her eyes away from his.

Killian could have left it there, but he wasn't willing to. Whether Emma knew it or not, she'd let a crack form in her barriers, and that same bright light that she'd always been carrying was visible to him once again. Killian planned to feel that warmth again no matter what it took. His fingers traced her jaw before tipping her chin back up to look at him and Emma met his gaze again, appearing more the lost girl than he'd ever seen her before.

"Tell me this Emma. Are you happy now?"

Because that was the most important question. If she were happy, if she had found love somewhere else and moved on then Killian would walk away. All he'd ever wanted was Emma to find the sense of belonging and home that she'd been wanting so badly before. Even if it wasn't with him, he'd rejoice in her happiness and then he'd resign himself to the fact that he'd never taste such a joy without Emma at his side.

"I'm…" Emma trailed off, and Killian appreciated that even if she was silent at least she wasn't lying. For better or worse they'd always been honest with each other, and he wanted to maintain that now.

"Surviving?" Killian offered and Emma nodded.

"Yeah. Surviving is a good word for it."

"It's the same for me, love. It has been since the day you left. And you know what that leads me to believe? That we never should have walked away. That what we had isn't over."

 _And hopefully it never will be,_ his heart added, but Killian bit that last part back.

"Killian, you can't mean that!" Emma argued back, her denial strong but not strong enough to hide the little bit of hope in those emerald eyes of hers.

"Have I told you a lie, love? Have I ever told you one?" Killian asked, knowing she'd always had a talent for telling truth from bad intentions. Emma shook her head.

"No. But I just – you can't be serious Killian. It's not… this was over. It _is_ over. I broke it."

And there it was, the defeated tone of remorse and repentance that gutted Killian. No matter what had happened, or how many years they'd had to be apart, Killian couldn't stand to hear his Swan sounding this way. Emma deserved a world without any sorrow, especially after the hand she'd been dealt as a child. He'd always hoped to repair that damage in her heart, or to help her see that she was capable of repairing it herself. Back then he supposed that he could love her enough for the two of them, but now he knew better. Emma had to forgive herself and give herself the chance to do this. It was the only way.

"You didn't, Emma. It just wasn't right then, but things are different. We can make them different, if you'd let us. All we have to do is try."

Killian offered his hand to her with the words, and it felt like he'd ripped his heart out of his chest and given her that too. Though to be fair, she'd had it all these years they were apart. Whether or not he was willing to admit it before tonight, Emma Swan branded him as hers a long time ago. His soul was already spoken for, and so were his hopes for the happy future he could only ever picture with her at his side.

When she didn't reach for his hand, Killian began to worry, but that only lasted a few seconds before Emma bypassed that all together and pulled him down by the lapel of his suit jacket for a kiss that spoke to all the heat and passion they'd been missing these four long years. With this kiss, Emma breathed life back into Killian once more. Feelings so long dormant and sensations he thought were gone forever resurfaced, making him feel limitless. Nothing could tear him down from a kiss like this and whether Emma knew it or not, this sealed his decision once and for all: he wasn't going anywhere without Emma. Not now, not ever.

Killian couldn't say how long they were out there for, but at one point Killian felt Emma shiver, and he worried about her being cold. He sought out a better venue for this, and a place where they could take this past the hungry embraces deserving of two teenagers.

"As I see it we have two options, love. Get in this rover of yours, or go back to my room. I'll let you choose."

Emma licked her lips at his proposal, her eyes still on his mouth. She looked well kissed, flush with a want that he'd missed seeing more than anything, but the best part of it all was her openness. Right here and right now she was totally his. Emma's heart was willing to take a risk, and Killian knew he could convince her to submit to that scary proposition all the way with just a bit more time.

"This is insane. You realize that? I don't even know – I mean what are you even doing with your life at this point? Clearly not riding your bike across the country with your band and planning some sort of sailing trip around the world," Emma said as she fought to catch her breath after that kiss. Killian meanwhile ran his hands across her body, unwilling to step back now that she was back in his arms where she'd always belonged.

"None of that matters. I'd chuck it all away right now if you asked me to, Emma." His profession made Emma's eyes soften, and there was the hope again.

"But why?" she asked, her need to know evident.

"Because I love you. Because my heart has been yours for what feels like forever, and I'd do anything to have it back. To have _you_ back."

There came the briefest of moments when Killian was tempted to curse his own stupidity at having thrown that into the space between them. His love for Emma was undeniable, but _fuck_ , he'd just said he was going to take this slowly and now he was confessing everything. This was the opposite of giving her time, and the Emma he knew before would be sprinting as far away as she could right now. But this Emma, this woman who he knew better than he knew himself yet still wasn't fully acquainted with, surprised him in the best of ways.

"Thank God."

With that simple whispered phrase, and a whole host of implied but not directly stated sentiment, Emma pulled Killian's hand back in through to the hotel and to the elevator. Killian was still in shock to be honest, and the only thing that could break through his haze in this moment of disbelief was Emma's sultry chuckle and bit of teasing.

"Are you going to tell me your room number, or are we just going to stand here all night?" Emma asked, and Killian grunted out an indecipherable response as he pushed the button to the presidential suite and entered his key.

Emma looked surprised at their floor choice, and Killian finally caught up to the moment and used her distraction to his benefit, pulling her back into his arms once more. When he did, he caught sight for the first time of the tattoo she had on her shoulder. It had been hidden behind the curtain of her hair, but now he couldn't help but nip it gently, bringing a slight sound of shock and need from his Emma when he did. He soothed it after with a gentle kiss, humming against her skin lightly.

"I was rather hoping to spend 'all night' in a vastly different manner, love. Or hadn't you guessed that already?"

"Well a girl can dream," Emma said, her voice shaky, but her need to have the final word shining through.

Killian wanted to tell Emma that when he dreamed he always dreamed of her and for her. She was the true north in a world that had seemed thrown out of proper orbit these past few years, and as he pulled her into his suite and bypassed every room that wasn't home to a bed, he felt the stars aligning once more. Gone were the feelings that the best days of his life were behind him, and now the world was new again, filled with hope and possibility and Emma.

"You seem to be thinking awfully hard there, Jones," Emma said when they'd made it to the bedroom and Killian shook his head, not bothering to hide how overwhelmed he was.

"I can't make heads or tails of what's next, love." Emma smiled seductively and then nipped at his bottom lip, prompting him forward, but she shook her head and stepped back, moving to unzip her dress in one slow, tantalizing display.

It felt like years passed in those few seconds and it was the most torturous of seductions, but the moment her dress pooled on the ground leaving Emma in nothing but red lace, Killian swore he'd died. There was no other explanation for being this close to heaven. And if he wasn't dead yet, his heart might just give out from the sight Emma made for right now. She was completely sure of herself and her call to him, and the happiness he could see in her expression made it all the more spectacular.

Emma stepped back up to him now, making quick work of the clothes that separated the two of them, and honestly he needed that. Killian didn't know if he had any semblance of control left, but Emma was composed now, leading him to a state of bliss he hadn't known since she walked out of his life all that time ago.

"I've gotta tell you, whatever you've been doing these past few years… I'm a fan of this suit." Killian growled out a sound of appreciation at Emma's words and he noticed the way her pulse picked up when he did. She might appear cool and calm on the outside, but she was right here with him and that was damn well how it should be.

"Don't be fooled, love. I've a few leather jackets left in my closet still." Emma licked her lips, probably without even realizing it, and looked back to his eyes.

"Good to know."

Unwilling to wait any longer, Killian kissed Emma again, and felt the reverberating need between them. The hum of pleasure was seeping through every nerve in his body, and he swiftly discarded his lingering clothes before tossing Emma on the bed and reveling in her appreciative looks. She was bolder now than she had been years ago, unafraid of looking at him head on, and knowing that she liked what she saw propelled Killian forward so he was hovering above her.

His fingers traced the lingering scraps of fabric that separated him from all of her, and when he did, dropping kisses to her mouth and then her jaw, down to the hollow of her throat, it was like no time had passed at all. Every breath, and moan, and plea for more that came from Emma was a song Killian knew well, a melody that swelled above all others. In very little time he was mastering her needs again, and when he'd riled her up to a point of suitable frustration, he reveled in her uncensored cry for more.

" _Fuck_ , Killian. I can't with the slow anymore. Please, just, do something!" He grinned against her breast, where he'd been teasing her a little more than was fair, but God didn't she realize that he had to? Every reaction was a drug to him, and the more he drew her out, the sweeter her release would be.

"You won't rush me, Emma. I promise to give you what you want, but we've waited too long to fly through this haphazardly."

Emma's fingers ran through his hair, the sensation one of comfort and silent agreement. Her eyes told Killian that she understood the bone-deep need he had to cherish her, to worship every part of her that had been gone for too damn long, and so she nodded, adding one last request.

"Fair enough. But maybe just a little faster?" She asked.

"If the lady insists."

His fingers dipped past the lace covering her sex then, and when he made contact with her clit, he felt Emma buck upwards. She was wound so tight, already teetering on the edge, and Killian knew a gentleman would give her that first taste of liberation from her pent up desire. With deft fingers, and a skilled mouth that traced back up to her neck, he felt her shatter beneath him and he swore he was made whole again by the sound of his name on her lips when she climaxed.

As Emma came back down from that, orienting herself from the haze of her orgasm, Killian kissed lower until he nipped at the flesh just inside her thigh. Emma arched towards him, silently pleading for more and he grinned. She'd always been willing and insatiable, but tonight he would give Emma so much pleasure she never doubted all that lay in store when she chose him. He considered this an audition and the proof Emma needed that no other man could grant her this. What she wanted he would always provide, and any wish she had he'd see granted no matter what.

When Killian felt another tremble of desirous anticipation course through her, Killian set forth to taste all of her desire, losing himself in Emma as he did. The taste of her was sweet on his tongue and it was so easy to please her like this. He started slow and steady, with licks and sucks timed just at the right moment to make her plead for more, but then he picked up the pace, set on watching her fall apart for him again and again.

He didn't stop until she was begging after two releases by his mouth for mercy, and even then Killian doubted his ability to pull away. If he did he ran the risk of waking up from this dream-like state he was in, and finding that this was in fact an illusion would destroy him. When he finally pulled back though, his immediate move was to confirm what he already knew deep in his heart.

"Tell me, Emma." He watched her blink through the mist of pleasure and saw confusion cross her stunning features. He kissed her lips lightly, knowing she'd taste herself on his tongue before speaking again. "Tell me this is real. Tell me you'll stay. Tell me you're mine."

"It's real. _We're_ real, and I'm not going anywhere." Her hand cupped his cheek and the truth was clear as day. This time would be different. This time would be forever and she knew that just as surely as he did.

Killian took one last moment to take in Emma in all her glory, spread out underneath him and waiting for him to claim her. She looked like an angel, a siren calling every part of him to action. He had to love her, it was the most natural thing, determined by instinct and fate and something even more powerful: a magic Emma had inside her that made him completely and irrevocably hers. Killian wondered as he had many times before how anything and anyone this magnificent could be real, but Emma was. She wasn't a dream, but a reality. Killian could feel it, see it, and taste it clear as day.

With both of them hell bent on this final step, Killian thrust home, feeling that connection and completion he'd never been able to recreate without Emma. Fuck it was perfect, and it was only made better when Emma whispered against his neck about how much she'd missed him and missed this. She told him how good he made her feel, how she needed him, and it drove him mad at the same time that it made him whole.

They chased bliss once more, and when they found it, there was nothing that could be said for this moment other than that it was divine. It couldn't be earthly, nothing that good could be of this world, yet it was. This was his life, and Killian couldn't stop smiling over that.

The two of them held on to each other after everything, neither of them willing to move away from each other in the face of such a moment. For a long time words weren't necessary either, and Killian let peace move through him from the light brush of Emma's fingers just above his heart, and the smiles she kept sending his way. They were each of them precious, and Killian vowed to spark many more of them from here on out. Right now though, he just needed to know one final thing:

"Earlier, when I told you that I love you, you thanked a higher power. Why was that?" Killian asked, as he ran his fingers through the bit of her hair that had fallen in front of her beautiful face. Emma didn't hesitate in her reply.

"Because I love you too, and I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to hear you say that to me again." Unable to hold back, Killian kissed her, craving the taste of those words and that wish that she had to get this chance. Only after that could he speak again.

"I will tell you that I am yours every day, Emma. Every minute of every hour even." Emma's gentle smile in response allowed that last piece of rightness to click for Killian, and it clinched this moment as the single best one of his life.

"Well that might be a little much. Let's start small and see how it goes."

"As you wish, Swan."

And in the end, their 'small' start grew to so much more. Both Emma and Killian made the conscious choice to follow their heart's truest desire and be together. From that point on, everything else fell into place, and though the fix wasn't instantaneous and there were still moments of fear on both of their parts, they realized every battle was better faced together, and that every tomorrow would always be made brighter with the other by their side.

…..

 _Hey,, I was doing just fine before I met you  
I drink too much and that's an issue but I'm okay  
Hey, you tell your friends it was nice to meet them  
But I hope I never see them again_

 _I know it breaks your heart  
Moved to the city in a broke down car  
And four years, no calls  
Now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar  
And I can't stop  
No, I can't stop_

 _So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover  
That I know you can't afford  
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder  
Pull the sheets right off the corner  
Of the mattress that you stole  
From your roommate back in Boulder  
We ain't ever getting older_

 _We ain't ever getting older  
We ain't ever getting older_

 _You look as good as the day I met you  
I forget just why I left you, I was insane  
Stay and play that Blink-182 song  
That we beat to death in Tuscon, okay_

 _I know it breaks your heart  
Moved to the city in a broke down car  
And four years, no call  
Now I'm looking pretty in a hotel bar  
And I can't stop  
No, I can't stop_

 _So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover  
That I know you can't afford  
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder  
Pull the sheets right off the corner  
Of the mattress that you stole  
From your roommate back in Boulder  
We ain't ever getting older_

 _We ain't ever getting older  
We ain't ever getting older_

 _So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover  
That I know you can't afford  
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder  
Pull the sheets right off the corner  
Of the mattress that you stole  
From your roommate back in Boulder  
We ain't ever getting older  
We ain't ever getting older (we ain't ever getting older)  
We ain't ever getting older (we ain't ever getting older)  
We ain't ever getting older (we ain't ever getting older)  
We ain't ever getting older_

 _We ain't ever getting older  
No we ain't ever getting older_

 _ **Post-Note: So thank you so much to the lovely readers who asked for this song. I know I veered slightly from some of the lyrics, but I am hoping you all enjoyed nonetheless. To the rest of you thank you all so much for reading, and if you're still waiting for a song, no worries it is on the way. There are many more prompts to get through, but I am enjoying the journey all the same. Hope you guys liked the chapter and that you have a great rest of your day!**_


	131. The Only One

_**A/N: Hey all! This is a reader requested rewrite of the scene in season 4 (episode 16) where Killian tells Emma that she is his happy ending. Because I am completely incapable of holding back, I will be including an 'I love you' way before the show gave it to us, and some more fluff because in my opinion, you can never go wrong with cuteness. Inspired by the song 'Hey Ya' by Goo Goo Dolls.**_

Easily one of the most frustrating parts of being a hero was that Emma found herself strangled by fearful emotions all of the time. Someone was always at risk, someone was always a breath away from really being hurt (or worse), and all Emma could do was fight and claw for a way to save them and then basically pray that the people she loved all got out of these messes eventually.

Thankfully right now though, their seemed to be a tiny bit of reprieve on the horizon, and as Emma watched Ursula and her father reunited thanks to Killian's hard work, the tightness in Emma's chest began to lessen. Standing here in the arms of this man who was always fighting with her and trying to ease her burden, Emma felt the stirrings of hope that were so hard to hold onto in the midst of darkness like this. Yet with Killian at her side, Emma found it easier than it ever had been before to believe that things could be okay. They were making progress, even if it was too slow for her liking.

Of course that moment was eventually broken, and the realization that Cruella had escaped set everyone back in motion. Her parents and August left the cabin behind Poseidon and Ursula, and now the only two people here were Emma and a still troubled Killian. Instinctively Emma wanted to know what was bothering him and to see if she could help in any way.

"Hook, what's wrong? You gave Ursula everything she wanted."

It was amazing to see what he'd done and to watch Killian undo an old wound he'd once inflicted on the sea witch. Emma wasn't under any sort of delusions about the man Killian had been the past few hundred years, but she also knew that _this_ man, the one who was changing for the better and choosing to make good on past harms, was worth being with. No one else ever stood by her like he did. No one else ever gave so much asking for so little in return, and that made Killian one of the most important people in her life, hands down.

"But I almost didn't, love," Killian confessed, still not looking her way. "I was so desperate to figure out what the crocodile was up to, I almost became the man I used to be. You have no idea how easy it is to fall back into the darkness."

By now Killian was looking her way, and the tone with which he said the words tore at Emma. She sympathized with him, knowing that even if she had never been blinded by revenge or treated people cruelly on a path to vengeance, she had her own demons in her past, and many a bad habit that she was trying now to fix. Probably the most prominent of all of those was her old tendency to run and push people away, but with every day those instincts lessened and Emma began to truly feel like she was safe here with her parents, Henry, _and_ Killian to stay and to fight for what she wanted.

"Whatever mistakes you made with Ursula you fixed," Emma promised, moving closer to Killian as she did. Her whispered words and the light touch of her hand on his usually would be enough to ease his anxieties, but Emma watched as his worries lingered, telling Emma that whatever he was battling it was big.

"Aye. But it's a stark reminder of something," Killian said, still clinging to that sadness and distress.

"What?" Emma asked, needing to know so that she could start to try and fix whatever it was that was wrong.

"With all this talk of authors and the book, we've never discussed one fact…" Killian let the air hang heavy with what he was about to say and the words he finally sent Emma's way made her heart ache for him. " _I_ was a villain."

"But you're not anymore," Emma claimed, certain of that fact beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"Neither is Regina, but she still lost her happy ending," Killian countered, his eyes letting Emma in on some of the pain he felt in admitting that the odds seemed stacked against him.

Emma considered his argument, but she acknowledged to herself that the circumstances between Killian and Regina were very different. Regina's supposed happy ending was Robin, yet in the other timeline, Regina – or rather the Evil Queen –killed Robin's wife, and Robin hadn't realized it. Even if Marian hadn't come back, that would have always been between them. As it was Emma couldn't regret saving that woman, saving a little boy's mother and a man's wife, no matter what kind of pain it caused on Regina. She felt for Henry's other Mom, but she also knew that she had been right to save Marian, and Emma believed that if Regina stayed on the path to good she would find whatever happy ending she was meant to have, either with Robin or with someone else.

"If we are to believe the rules of the book," Killian continued, "then it's only a matter of time before I lose mine."

Emma glanced back to Killian instantly, searching his still defeated expression for answers. He dropped the admission so easily, and yet this was huge. Killian had found the happiness he wanted amidst all the mess of Neverland and Zelena, of Ice Queen curses, and the villains they were up against now? How could that be?

"Wait. If you're afraid of losing your happy ending, that means you found it," Emma said, awed at the idea even while a tiny voice in the back of her mind was crying out that

of course he had. Why else would he still be here after everything if he hadn't? "What is it?"

"Don't you know, Emma? It's you."

Everything froze in that moment, time suspended, and Emma was left facing a wave of so many emotions that had been building up inside of her for months. This thing between Killian and her started off from the strangest of places – the two of them bickering (and okay _maybe_ flirting) on the top of beanstalk as Emma struggled to get home to her son and Killian fought to get even with Gold. Yet over time so much had changed and so much had happened. Killian helped her stay alive more times than she could count, he protected her son and her parents, he stood by her side in the good times and in bad.

But most of all, he looked at her like this, not caring that his heart was so visibly on his sleeve. He said that she was his happy ending, but what Killian meant was that he loved her, that he saw a future with her, and that Emma made him happy. The thought that he could feel that way with such certainty shook Emma to her core, but sounding out above the fear was this feeling of complete and utter relief.

Because the truth was Emma had been thinking of what happiness looked like for her while all of this was happening, and she'd settled on the things she needed in the world to secure her own happy ending. There was Henry of course, and her parents and baby brother, and then there was Killian. He was the one person she trusted with her heart, the only person she'd ever been tempted to let in like this before, and as crazy as it was that he was a pirate and she was technically a princess, it was also totally and completely right. The two of them made sense, and in a world that often left Emma struggling to understand, that was a gift best not turned away.

Moving forward without a word Emma tilted her mouth up to kiss him, feeling a tear fall down her cheek when their lips met. It was the physical representation of everything she was feeling – anxiety at the swirling chaos still hovering all around them, joy at being wanted and truly cared for by the guy who she'd grown to feel for in return, and relief that she wasn't actually as broken as she thought. If she was Killian wouldn't want this with her, but he did. Somehow, someway, he did.

"We're not letting anyone take this from us," Emma said when she pulled back, breaking the sweet, silent promise she'd already given him in the kiss. "We'll find a way to stop Gold and the others. We'll get the author on our side. We'll do whatever we have to do, but no one's losing anything. Not anymore."

The smile that played at the edges of Killian's mouth was a welcome sight after going so long without it. It felt like sunlight breaking through the dreary, cloudy skies that the villains had brought with them, and Emma was so glad to see it again. _This_ was the man she wanted beside her. The one who was soft and kind, yet with an intensity and lingering roguishness in those piercing blue eyes that she loved to see. Killian in any state was attractive, but like this he endeared himself to Emma's heart so surely. There was no thinking about ever walking away from him when she was on the receiving end of one of his smiles, and luckily for her she was the recipient of such looks all the time.

"What? You disagree?" Emma teased, knowing he didn't, but she wanted the easier playfulness they often had back. She was assured it would come too when he stepped closer and his arms came around to hold her to him.

"Never, Emma. I simply enjoyed the way you said 'us' as if we're in this fight together."

"We are, Killian. We have been for a while. Can't you tell?" His hand came to cup her cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth lightly, and Emma leaned into the action, feeling as he wiped away the lingering trail of her last tear.

"Sometimes it's a little clearer than others," he joked, his good humor returning more and more by the second. "But overall I know, Emma. I can feel how it is between us, and all I want is to see you happy and to be a part in making you that way. That's all I've ever wanted when it comes to you, love."

Emma smiled at that, memories of all kinds flittering through her mind as she digested Killian's words. In nearly all of those recollections the two of them were facing deadlines or problems or full-blown crises, but cutting through the action and hectic pace that often came into their lives was this bond between them, this connection that Emma had never known before with anyone. It was a kind of recognition, like Emma almost knew Killian better than she knew herself, and like she was supposed to find him, even if they'd been worlds away from each other for so long, and the Universe kept throwing more chaos in their path.

For years and years Emma had been alone and it took an incredibly long time for her to open up to people. First it was Henry to break through the barriers, and then eventually her parents, but in forgiving her Mom and Dad for giving her up, Emma had stumbled upon a man who made it clear that he would _never_ give up on her. And it was that unspoken promise, that fealty and loyalty and genuine caring that Killian carried with him always that made it possible for a guarded, scared, once lonely person like Emma to fall for him.

"I love you."

The words surprised Killian and Emma equally, and a thousand thoughts went scrambling through Emma's mind then about how now probably wasn't the time to say that she loved him and how she was assuming an awful lot. Maybe her being his happy ending didn't mean he was in love with her? Oh crap! This had just gotten so messy and Emma began babbling to counteract it or give him context or something.

"You don't have to say anything. Honestly I don't even really know how to do this whole relationship thing, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, or I was before everything went crazy again. All I know is that you _see_ me for me and not as just the savior, and when everyone else needs saving you're the one saving me. I couldn't do half the things I've done without you there, and -,"

Killian's lips crashed back down to Emma's before she could get sucked into any more worry or regret and she channeled all of her fear and wondering into this kiss, one that went so much further than the last. It was all heat and passion and fire, and Emma felt Killian burning away all of her doubts with every part of his embrace. His hook pressed at the small of her back forcing her closer, and Emma arched into him, never wanting to let go now that she had him and he knew the truth of what she'd been holding back so long.

"I'm very glad to hear that you love me, Swan," Killian said when they eventually broke apart. "For the truth is my heart's been yours for quite a while. I love you in a way I never knew I could, and when we figure all of this out I intend to show you that as long as you let me, so you're never in any doubt about my feelings for you."

Emma leaned her forehead against Killian's breathing in this moment and these precious feelings of love and acceptance. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her tummy fluttering, her hands practically shaking with this excess of emotion, but this right here was the epitome of peace. It was a magical sensation, sealing the answers in her heart to lingering questions that Emma had kept at arms length for too long, and now that she'd said the words aloud she felt freer. Of course she'd probably find some way to muck this up sooner rather than later, but for now things were just really, _really_ good.

" _Emma?"_ Someone called out a second before walking back in. "Oh! Sorry, I just – you two were right behind us and then…"

Emma bit back a groan as her mother popped back into the cabin, crashing this tender interlude between her and Killian, but Emma couldn't help the smile that appeared when she pulled back and took Killian' hand. She glanced over towards her mother and father and Emma didn't try to hide anything when she greeted them again.

"That's alright, Mom. We're ready, right?" Emma asked Killian and he nodded.

"Aye, love. More than ready."

And in the end they were, and through the ups and downs still to come, Emma and Killian were always certain of one thing – that the love between them was worth protecting and preserving, and that they would both do whatever it took to be together and to keep that love alive come hell or high water.

…..

 _If I could give you_

 _All the things you've been denied_

 _Would it change you_

 _Would you feel alive_

 _But all that's left now_

 _Are these words that I've been trying to say to you now_

 _And together we'll get by somehow_

 _And all you ever wanted was someone to find_

 _The truth you hide from everyone deep inside_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _You're the only one I want_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _And I would drown to save you_

 _From the sinking thoughts you feel_

 _And I'll love you just the same_

 _So don't you ever feel ashamed_

 _'Cause we all get tired of fighting_

 _Just to feel like we belong_

 _And I know you feel forgotten_

 _But I've been here all along to say_

 _And all you ever wanted was someone to find_

 _The truth you hide from everyone deep inside_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _You're the only one I want_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _You're the only one I want_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _And you hide yourself so deep inside_

 _Will I ever see_

 _Ever see you_

 _Now I'm the one who's been denied_

 _But I believe in you_

 _Believe in you_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _You're the only one I want_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _You're the only one I want_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _You're the only one I want_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _Hey ya, hey ya_

 _You're the only one I want_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it! Just a small rewrite today, but a fluffy one nonetheless. I want to thank my lovely reader who requested this song (if any of you haven't heard it then you definitely need to!) and this scene. I hadn't attempted to write it yet, and now I am so glad that I got to. It's been a second since I got to do a rewrite and I think it's safe to say I have overloaded myself with feels. For the rest of you waiting on songs – don't worry, I have gotten your requests and I am working on them. Some of you are just so original and have such amazing visions I have to give them awhile to develop. But stay tuned, they are coming! Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a great rest of your day!**_


	132. HOLY

_**A/N: Future CS fic where Emma and Killian are married. They've got a little one already and are expecting another child in the next few months, and as such this is basically just 100% fluff. It's told from Killian's POV and I'm tying it along with another reader request for the song 'H.O.L.Y' by Florida Georgia Line. Rated M because when in doubt always smuff. Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy!**_

Sleep was a precious commodity for any parent, but when those parents also happened to be the protector's of a small, magically inclined town, and self-proclaimed heroes fending off many a dark force, it was all the harder to come by. A sane man would cling to every opportunity he had for some shut-eye, and yet here Killian was, wide-awake in the earliest morning hours smiling like a fool over the sight before him.

With the new morning's rays of sun moving through the curtain, the room was bright enough for Killian to make out every detail of his lovely wife and there was nothing about her Killian wasn't entranced by. Her golden hair was all over the place, tousled and tangled around her on the pillow, begging Killian to fun his fingers through it. The delicate freckles that came out more and more during the sunny summer months were clear as day now, and her lips were curved into a half smile, as if Emma's dreams were lovely enough to keep her happy even in the depths of slumber.

Killian traced every last detail with his gaze, moving down her body and finding the surest sense of joy when he saw her hand, gently placed upon her abdomen that was currently swollen with their child. Even in sleep Emma was protecting that little boy or girl, and Killian's hand moved there too in a silent show of support and love.

The action had Emma shifting in her sleep, stirring awake, her green eyes opening and a smile forming as they did. She made for the most beautiful picture right now, with her calm sense of serenity and a genuine aura of happiness hanging around her. Years ago Killian never could have dreamed of mornings like this one, but now they were the norm. Gods he was a lucky man.

"Why are you awake?" Emma asked, stretching slightly as she did, her movements shifting the sheet that was covering them and drawing his attention to the lithe lines of her body only shielded by a thin nightgown.

"It's morning, love," Killian replied with a soft kiss to her lips.

"It is, but I would think you'd need a little extra rest after the night we had."

And what a night it had been. After getting their daughter Hope to bed, Killian tried to do something romantic for his Swan and had apparently been successful. They'd gone out to the porch swing and there he'd had some candles and a few flowers ready for her along with cocoa and a bit of dessert that he thought she might enjoy. Killian wanted to give Emma something beautiful and thoughtful after a string of busy days, and the next thing he knew she was tearing up and telling him that it was perfect and that he was perfect too.

Of course that was far from the truth, but Killian eventually conceded that perhaps they were perfect for each other. Emma agreed, and after enjoying the coastal breeze and staring up at the stars for a while together, he brought her back inside so that Emma could have her way with him. Their exploration of each other had been thorough and started and stopped more than once during the night thanks to Emma's insatiable wants that came around each time she was pregnant, but Killian had been a very eager and willing participant every step of the way. Just the thought of it now all these hours later had Killian grinning uncontrollably.

"What can I say, love? It's a gift." Emma laughed, the gravel of sleep clinging to the sound and making the melody of it even richer to his ears.

"A gift huh? Who for?" Emma asked, her hand trailing down Killian's chest in a slow, tantalizing fashion.

"Well for my insatiable wife of course," Killian countered before moving above Emma and getting her to admit that she was just as desirous for this as he was right now. She might pretend otherwise, but Emma was always right there with him in this need for more between them and honestly, that was just the way Killian liked it.

It was impossible to tell who started the kiss that came next, but Killian took comfort in the sound of impatience that passed Emma's lips when he moved away, his mouth trailing down her neck and then to her breasts that he exposed by moving the straps of her nightgown off her shoulder and then down her body. They were all the more sensitive from the presence of their baby and begging for his touch, and though it was always easy to rile Emma up with the right amount of attention and purposeful, meticulous care, in this state, emboldened by her hormones and baby-induced cravings, she was a conduit to bliss itself.

Under his ministrations, Emma shared all of her honest responses and pleas for more and it left Killian feeling eternally grateful for the spell she'd managed to conjure when their daughter was born that kept any noise from exiting this room while leaving them privy to outside influences. Killian could listen out for anything that might draw their attention elsewhere in these early morning hours and still have the life-affirming words and moans of his lovely wife too, and that was a precious treasure indeed.

After riling her up to a point of clear frustration, Killian had mercy on Emma and with the use of his hand, and the gentle swirl of his thumb against her clit, he sent her gasping into her climax and releasing that gorgeous flush against her creamy skin. She was a siren here in their bed, a goddess made real, and Killian was in awe of her and everything she'd given him, not the least of which was the baby on the way who Killian murmured loving words to as he kissed Emma's stomach and then headed further down her curvy figure.

"You know with two little kids running around here it's going to be so much harder to find time for this," Killian growled against the delicate flesh between Emma's thighs and felt her jump at the sensation. He grinned at that, loving how everything about the way they were together made Emma more desirous.

"We'll just have to get creative then, Swan. Won't be the first time, and it certainly won't be the last."

Emma looked liable to ask what he meant by that, but before he could make mention of his hopes of having at least one more child after this baby with her, he set about pleasuring Emma with his tongue. He could easily have made quick work of this, but drawing out Emma's anticipations was a luxury Killian didn't dare toss away. It was risky to go so slow, not only because his stubborn wife grew more hot and bothered with every second, but because interruption could come at any moment. But still Killian ran that risk, holding off on letting her shatter again until she begged for release.

"Killian, _please_!"

The simple words were everything to him, and Killian felt revitalized in every way when he realized that he was the only man who could give this to Emma, the only man that his lovely wife wanted or trusted enough to be here. It was a miracle to love someone as much as he loved Emma and have that love returned, and as he moved back up her body after letting her fall apart again, he brushed some hair away from her face and told her exactly how he felt.

"There is nothing in this world that compares to loving you, Emma. You've given me everything, my love. Everything."

Her soft green eyes lit up at his words the way they did every time he attached any possessive turns of phrase that drew them closer together. Sometimes she did the same thing, and more than once he'd heard her describing him as 'her Captain.' That was easily his favorite moniker, aside from when she called him her husband or her true love.

"And you've given _me_ everything too. Everything we have, everything we're going to have, it's all possible because we found it together."

"Aye, love. Together."

With those sweet words of affirmation, Killian thrust home, part of him worried for their child though he knew by now that there was no real danger. He started slow and steady, filling her with his hard length over and over, but soon enough (thanks to the sheer brilliance of his wife and her hastening pleas) his softness deteriorated and gave way to a hard and fast claiming, designed to sate them both on this glorious morning.

When they both gave way to that pleasure, basking in the afterglow of their love, Killian felt more alive than ever and ready to greet the day, but he noted that Emma was still tired and he knew if he gave her the opportunity she would doze some more. He wanted that to be sure, and he knew just the way to make it happen.

"I love you, Emma. With all my heart," Killian said, pulling a lazy, sleepy smile from his wife as he kissed her one last time.

"I know," He chuckled at Emma's reply, his hand tracing a delicate pattern on her back and Emma fell back into sleep once more, appearing as serene and peaceful as he'd ever seen her.

Hard as it was for him to do, Killian eventually eased his way out of bed, leaving the perfect sense of completion he got from holding Emma in his arms as she slept in the hopes of granting her a little more peace and quiet. The Jones family was a clan of early risers, but Emma was more tired than she otherwise would be thanks to the baby on the way. In three more months they'd meet the newest member of this family, and Killian could hardly wait to meet the little lad or lass and prove to them that their father would always love them and this family more than anything in all the realms.

As Killian slipped on clothes for the day and went about his morning routine silently, his mind wandered to the truth of how he'd been blessed a million times over when he found Emma. She was the reason for his redemption, the guiding light that had brought him back from darkness, and everything he had in this life he owed to her. Every ounce of happiness he'd tasted these past few years were a gift from his beloved wife, and that didn't make Emma a savior – it made her an angel, one that Killian truly believed had fallen just to bring home.

Yet Emma wasn't the only divinely sent person in his life, and as Killian heard the fast patter of little footsteps moving around inside his daughter's room just next door he knew his darling girl was awake bright and early, just as he was.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

Killian smiled in spite of the volume and he shushed Hope lovingly, causing her to giggle and shush back. She was the sweetest thing he'd ever seen, with curly brown hair and her mother's eyes. She was a rascal and had all the makings of a pirate, but to Killian she would always be his princess. At nearly four years of age, Hope was growing far too fast for his liking, but there was still time to watch her grow, and Killian planned to make the most of every moment that he had with his little girl.

"Good morning, little lass. Sleep well?"

"Of course. I had Henry."

Killian smiled at the stuffed bear that his daughter carried with her more often than not. It had been a gift from her elder brother for Christmas one year, but none of them could have imagined how attached Hope would be to it. It was her placeholder for her brother when he was away at college, and even when everyone said she could give the bear any name she wanted she maintained that the best name was Henry. After all, there was no one else who protected her like her big brother, aside from her parents who Hope reasoned were always there no matter what.

"I'm glad to hear it, love. Now, what do you say to a new mission? Operation 'make your mother breakfast.'"

"Can the breakfast be pancakes?" Hope asked and Killian pretended to consider. "Please Daddy! Mommy loves pancakes especially when I help make the faces with the blueberries."

"Alright, love, pancakes it is."

With a fast forward motion Killian scooped his daughter up in his arms, pulling another giggle from the little tyke as he peppered kisses to her face. Gods it did his heart good to hear his daughter laugh like this. It was an incredibly powerful thing – knowing that the two most important women in his life were happy and safe.

"Do you think you can keep very quiet as we go down the stairs?" Killian asked and Hope nodded immediately.

"Super _duper_ quiet," she promised and Killian shook his head at the strange phrasing, chalking it up to one of those sayings Hope had learned from her grandparents or some passing townsfolk, and heading down the stairs and into the kitchen where they would set off to work.

Killian knew that he and Emma were incredibly lucky to have a daughter like Hope. Despite her boundless energy and curiosity that was bound to get her into trouble sometimes, she was a dear, always looking to help with anything, and better behaved than any young child Killian had ever met. She was going to make a remarkable older sister, and as if she could read Killian's mind she brought up the new baby while sprinkling in her blueberries into the pancake mix.

"Is the baby coming today, Daddy?" she asked, still not understanding the time parameters of this sort of thing.

"Not today, angel," Killian confessed helping her reach when her lack of height kept her from doing so.

"Tomorrow?" Hope asked, clearly wanting the arrival to be sooner rather than later.

"Afraid not. We've a few more months to go." Killian realized she likely didn't understand that concept and corrected himself. "Many more mornings and many more sleeps."

Hope gave a little sigh, the sound almost sad in its sincerity. It pulled at Killian's heartstrings even though there was really nothing wrong. The pregnancy was going fantastically, the doctors had assured them of that, and though Emma was still working hard at the station, they had a system designed to keep her healthy and happy and to keep the ship afloat despite the changes to their once normal routine. A few more months were actually necessary in order to get everything prepared and baby proofed again, and to thoroughly explain to Hope what exactly would come with the arrival of her new sibling.

"I wish the baby would come today. I love him already," Hope claimed.

"Him?" Killian asked with an amused expression. Emma and Killian had decided not to find out the sex of the baby just yet, planning to do what they'd done with Hope and to be surprised instead.

"My baby brother," Hope stated matter-of-factly.

"You know, Hope, it _could_ be a baby brother. But it also could be a baby sister. You'd love the baby no matter what though, right?" Killian asked, smiling as he brushed away a bit of flour from his daughter's cheek.

"Yes. But he's not a baby sister. He's a brother. Maybe the next baby can be a sister, but not this one."

Killian had to wonder then in the face of his daughter's sureness if this weren't one of those moments when Hope's magical abilities were manifesting again. Her being so young made it hard to tell, but if there was one thing Killian knew it was not to bet against the women in this family. If they were certain they were right, it wasn't Killian's place to question them. Not without definitive proof.

"Well I guess we'll just see then won't we?"

"Yes, sir," Hope gave a mock salute and Killian laughed, fluffing up her curly hair as he did and then letting her lead through the rest of what she felt the morning needed.

For the next half an hour, Killian kept Hope entertained and managed to finish the breakfast spread for the three of them. They still set a forth place though, for Hope always wanted Henry to have a spot, even if he was busy at school for the time being. It was a sweet gesture, as was her desire to give her mother one of the roses from the bushes outside. Killian helped his daughter remove it from the greenery, careful to remove all of the thorns and then watched as Hope touched it with the tips of her fingers and shifted the color of the petals from pink to yellow. It still amazed Killian what his daughter was capable of at so young an age, but he made sure to smile and encourage her gift since it was used sparingly and in the hopes of making Emma happy.

"Now it's like the sun," Hope said excitedly. "And Mommy's hair."

"Aye love. That it is."

"Look at all of this," Emma's voice came from the doorway and instantly Hope was off, bounding towards Emma at a sprint and then barely stopping in time when she remembered the baby. Her little hand came out to pat on Emma's stomach lightly before she wrapped herself in a hug around Emma.

"Good morning Mommy! Good morning brother!" Emma hugged Hope tight and made eye contact with Killian.

"Brother?" She mouthed his way and Killian shrugged, pulling out her seat and placing a light kiss to her cheek.

"Just go with it, Swan," Killian murmured and his wife instantly smiled again, falling into Hope's surmises on the coming day and her dreams the night before.

Their daughter was a definite talker, giving even her grandmother a run for her money, but both Emma and Killian loved that about Hope. Even at this age it was apparent that their little lass was getting something neither of them ever had – a steady stream of love from two parents who were present and nurturing. It felt like undoing a great wrong, and for Killian and Emma it was the most important work they'd ever done. Forget finding passage out of the Underworld or defeating the forces of evil that came and went; this was the hard stuff, and yet still the most rewarding.

Just when breakfast was wrapping up, a knock sounded at the door, and on the other side were Emma's parents and her siblings, hoping for a chance that the whole family could go to the park. Hope was thrilled at the prospect, begging and wishing for the opportunity to go, and since Emma and Killian were wrapped snugly around her finger, they caved instantly, planning out a day away that would no doubt be exhausting and lovely all at once.

"You know a trip to the park means Hope will be out for a while during nap time today," Emma whispered when they were just about to leave and Killian swallowed hard.

"Aye. Any thoughts on how we might make use of all that free time?" Emma's seductive smile shot through him, leaving a dull ache low in his gut.

"I've got a couple ideas, and I think you'll be very impressed," she whispered.

"Sounds like a date then," Killian countered and Emma laughed, taking the blanket he'd grabbed in her arms.

"I'll be the one wearing your ring."

"Damn right you will," Killian growled low before kissing Emma, unable to hold back.

"Daddy! It's time to go. No more kissing," Hope cried from across the room.

"To be continued then," Killian whispered, taking Emma's hand in his.

"I certainly hope so." And luckily for both of them, they got exactly what they wanted, and it was just one tiny moment in the scheme of a very happy, and loving life together.

…..

 _When the sun had left and the winter came_

 _And the sky fall could only bring the rain_

 _I sat in darkness, all broken hearted_

 _I couldn't find a day I didn't feel alone_

 _I never meant to cry, started losing hope_

 _But somehow baby, you broke through and saved me_

 _You're an angel, tell me you're never leaving_

 _'Cause you're the first thing I know I can believe in_

 _You're holy, holy, holy, holy_

 _I'm high on loving you, high on loving you_

 _You're holy, holy, holy, holy_

 _I'm high on loving you, high on loving you_

 _You made the brightest days from the darkest nights_

 _You're the river bank where I was baptized_

 _Cleanse all the demons_

 _That were killing my freedom_

 _Let me lay you down, give me to ya_

 _Get you singing babe, hallelujah_

 _We'll be touching, we'll be touching heaven_

 _You're an angel, tell me you're never leaving_

 _'Cause you're the first thing I know I can believe in_

 _You're holy, holy, holy, holy_

 _I'm high on loving you, high on loving you_

 _You're holy, holy, holy, holy_

 _I'm high on loving you, high on loving you_

 _I don't need the stars 'cause you shine for me_

 _Like fire in my veins, you're my ecstasy_

 _You're my ecstasy_

 _You're holy, holy, holy, holy_

 _I'm high on loving you, high on loving you_

 _You're holy, holy, holy, holy_

 _I'm high on loving you, high on loving you_

 _You're the healing hands where it used to hurt_

 _You're my saving grace, you're my kind of church_

 _You're holy_

 _ **Post-Note: Hey all! So I just want to assure those of you who have requested baby fluff that this is not the only chapter of this kind I will be writing. Some of you had different visions for what a baby chapter would look like, and I plan to get to all of them (because CS baby fluff is essentially what I live for). Just be a little patient with me because I have so many wonderful, thoughtful readers and a list of more than 20 songs/prompts I am still working on for this series. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed and that it brightened your days a little bit. Thanks so much for reading!**_


	133. Phone Down

_**A/N: Hey all! This is a short drabble based on a request I got a while back for Emma being suspicious as Killian plans a surprise party for her. I've had a few chapters like this in the past, but it is always fun to do cutesy future stuff like this. The song I have decided to couple it with is called 'Phone Down' and is by Lost Kings and while it's not a perfect fit for CS the whole phone thing does come into play. Hope you all enjoy!**_

"At the risk of taunting fate into throwing some more bad guys our way, I have to say, I really love this job when time's are slow."

Emma smiled, agreeing with her father's assessment entirely. Once upon a time she might have thought this job dull or tedious, but now she enjoyed the fact that they had all this downtime. Paperwork, it turned out, was actually really great, especially when compared to fighting an Evil Queen or a Black Fairy or the Dark One.

"You know when I first got here, this is the job I signed up for. The dragon slaying and realm hopping was really just an unexpected bonus," Emma quipped, pulling a laugh from David.

"Do you want to take lunch first or…?" Her Dad's question was a good one, but before Emma could respond, her phone rang and she knew from the ringtone that it was Killian.

"I guess we'll see," she tossed her Dad's way before responding. "Hey, so are we thinking lunch now or in an hour? I know it's a crazy big decision, but I trust you with such a life altering choice."

Emma expected her joke to prompt a laugh from Killian, but instead there was a heavy pause that immediately had Emma sitting up in her chair. Her instincts said something was wrong with a silence this lengthy, but finally her husband responded.

" _I'm sorry, love, but I won't be able to make it to Granny's today. Something's come up."_

"Something's come up?" Emma repeated back to him, trying to understand what he was saying. It's not that she wanted to pry or that she didn't trust him, but there was something in Killian's tone that told her he wasn't being fully honest.

Maybe she was acting childish, but Emma was used to a certain level of attention from her pirate. For all the setbacks that sometimes appeared in their lives, there was one thing that Emma always loved about their relationship and that was how they preferred to be together, and that when they were together they were really there. Killian and her had a shared understanding that their quiet moments were precious, even if they were arguing about something stupid, or too tired from fighting bad guys to keep their eyes open.

But over the past week that had changed. It started innocently enough, with Killian slipping out when at the station to run some unknown errand, or arriving a minute or two late for when they planned to meet for something. Yet the days passed and the signs that something was off grew more and more apparent. Now all of this was starting to become a new normal, and Killian was using his phone more than he ever had in the years since arriving in Storybrooke. If that wasn't a sign of something apocalyptic, she didn't know what was.

" _Aye. But we're still on for tonight, right? You'll be home at five?"_

The eagerness in his tone was surprising but it sparked some hope for Emma. There had been a little bit of distance this week, not when they were together but when they were apart. It would sound silly trying to vocalize it, but even when they weren't with each other Emma knew Killian would rather that they were. This week though he'd been taking more time to himself, which was fine, just… different. But from the way Killian sounded, he was desperate for her to get home right at five today.

"Um, yeah. That's the plan," Emma confirmed, noticing her Dad was playing at not being interested even while he listened to everything the two of them said. For a sheriff/deputy, her Dad really needed to work on that discretion skill set.

" _Brilliant. I'll see you then. I love you."_

Those last three words brought a smile to Emma's lips. She might be feeling off, and worrying about what was going on with Killian, but that love was still a constant. She could feel the truth in his vow of affection, and Emma decided to cling to that as a type of shield against her fear. Whatever was going on Killian _did_ love her, and Emma had no cause to doubt that, so she repeated the endearment and then hung up the phone and shrugged to her Dad.

"I guess I'm up for either time. You going home to see Mom and Neal?" Emma asked and her Dad shook his head and got up grabbing his jacket, suddenly seeming shifty himself. Was there something in the air? Or was Emma just being crazy? Maybe the lack of villains running around was making her paranoid.

"No actually I have some errands to run, so I was hoping I could go now if that's alright."

"Sure," Emma said uneasily, her eyes tracking her Dad and trying to figure out what she was missing. One second he'd been laid back and easy going, now he was rushed and acting strangely.

"Great. Be back in an hour. And if something pops up…"

"You'll be the first to know if any lawn gnomes go missing or Leroy tries to file a restraining order against Granny again." Her Dad smiled and kissed the crown of her head before heading out, leaving Emma alone at the station once more.

The afternoon from there was still a little shaky. Emma distracted herself with some mundane activities around the station, grabbed her lunch, and checked in on Henry when he popped by for his afterschool visit, but soon enough her restlessness got the better of her. Emma ended up going on another set of rounds unexpectedly, and as she walked she tried to piece together the puzzle of why she was feeling so strangely disconnected, especially with Killian.

The past few years Emma had gone through a tremendous transformation. She had overcome a lot of personal demons, and some ghosts from her past, allowing her family (including Killian) to sneak past her defenses and see her for who she really was. She'd come to terms with that whole savior mess and come out on the other side, and the happily ever after, though constantly in flux, was good so far. Living with Killian and marrying him were two of the best decisions she'd ever made, and recently they'd even been talking about having more kids.

 _Wait, maybe that was what this was!_ Maybe her mentioning wanting more kids had freaked him out somehow. They hadn't been married very long yet, only a few months, but Emma felt like she could be totally honest with Killian when saying that she was wishing for another child or maybe even two. As a kid she'd been all alone, and though any child of theirs would have a family, it was different to have a sibling. And though Henry had Roland, there was no doubt in Emma's heart that he'd enjoy being the big brother to some new heroes in training.

But when she spoke to Killian he seemed so interested. Actually, he seemed more than interested, and Emma recalled the exact words that he'd said to her when she first broached the subject:

" _The chance to grow our family is a gift I never even thought to dream of, Swan. It's almost too perfect an idea to fathom."_

After those swoon-worthy words Killian proceeded to spend the night 'practicing' for when Emma was ultimately ready to take that next step, and in the days following that enthusiasm remained. Come to think of it things had been so fantastic directly after that conversation that it made the contrast to now seem so daunting. One day they were so together and on the same page, and now Emma was jealous of Killian's stupid phone. Emma shivered at the thought that they'd gotten here given Killian's track record of hating said device.

Still no closer to answers than she had been, Emma looked up and realized she was at the library. Maybe she needed an outsider's opinion, and since Emma didn't want to go to her parents with this, she reasoned that Belle would be a good choice. As a friend to both Killian and Emma, Belle would have to have some kind of insight, and hopefully her friend would be willing to share. Emma checked once more up and down the street, noticing it was quieter that it's usual sleepiness, but ultimately decided to go in and see Belle.

"Emma! I didn't expect to see you today. Everything alright?" Belle asked and Emma nodded before considering and shaking her head.

"Actually no. I was hoping to run something by you. It's about Killian. Something's up with him and I was wondering if you know what it is."

Belle appeared stricken at the blunt question, and Emma instantly knew that she'd touched on something. So it wasn't all in her head then. That was simultaneously a relief that her instincts were still working, and utterly terrifying because now she was scared of her husband keeping secrets from her.

"There is something, Emma. But before you get carried away with worrying you should know it isn't bad."

Emma let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding when she felt the truth in Belle's statement. Secrets weren't great either way, but as long as Killian was safe and he wasn't leaving her, Emma could cope with anything.

"Was I that obvious?" Emma asked, attempting a smile and Belle returned it.

"Oh I don't know. Some people just go simultaneously pale and rigid like that all the time." A beat past before Belle and Emma both started laughing, and Emma felt the tension leaving her shoulders.

"I just want to be there for him, you know? Whatever's bothering him it should be our burden to bear together," Emma said, her voice quiet but still filling the empty library.

"I understand, Emma, and I can promise you that the answer you're looking for is coming. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he mentioned it tonight, and when he does try to see it from his perspective, okay? He means well. You know he's always looking out for your happiness."

Emma smiled, loving that Belle was absolutely right. There was no need at all to question Killian's motives for anything and if Belle was convinced that the secret might be good or at least harmless, then Emma could wait. It would simply be hard because usually Emma never had to wait, not when it came to Killian.

"Thanks, Belle. I think I'm gonna head back to the station and cut out early."

"You think that's the best idea?" Belle asked, surprising Emma with the sharpness of the question.

"Yeah. Some days you just want to be home, and today is one of those days." Belle's features softened and she smiled.

"Feel better Emma. I hope it all works out."

Emma thanked Belle and headed back to the station. She arguably could have used her magic to get from place to place, but Emma enjoyed the brisk chill in the air around her and the fact that though things were feeling slightly tumultuous in her life, the sun was out and shining. By the time she was nearly back at the house, though, Emma was once again wary. She hadn't passed a single person on her walk home and usually she couldn't stop running into people and getting bombarded by their worries or complaints. To have so much quiet was good for her to work through things, but it was weird for this town. Emma made a mental note to figure that out later and then she walked in through the front door, preparing to call out to Killian and Henry.

"Guy's I'm-," Emma looked up and dozens of faces were staring back at her with decorations everywhere, and across the living room was a huge sign that read _'Happy Emma Day!'_

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled then and Emma realized that it must be a surprise party for her birthday that was still a few days from now. Looking at all of this she wondered how she didn't guess that this was what Killian was up to, and then she felt the tears in her eyes as her parents and Henry moved forward.

"We know it's early, but Killian thought it might be best to have two celebrations, one for your birthday on the day of, and one for the anniversary of when you came to Storybrooke," Henry said.

"You mean when _you_ brought me here, kid," Emma responded as she pulled her son in for a big hug and he laughed.

"That too. Don't worry, Killian got my favorite cake from the bakery. He said I'd earned at least that with all I've done for this family."

The tears in Emma's eyes threatened to shed at that, but she shouldn't have been so taken aback by words like that. Killian was constantly giving Henry his due, and there were few people in Henry's life who gave her son that much encouragement and respect as he did. It was a beautiful thing to see, and as a mother it was one of the things she found sexiest about Killian.

"Are you surprised?" Her father asked her and Emma laughed, some of the tears spilling as she did. Before she could say that yes she was shocked to see them all here, her mother answered the question for her.

"Of course she's surprised David, look at her. But you shouldn't be Emma, because all of us love you and for once we thought it would be good to do something for _you_ instead of you doing so much for us."

Emma appreciated those words more than she could say and she hugged both of her parents and gave her brother a kiss too before moving away. The need to see Killian right now was too strong, and she found him, smiling at her from the doorway to the kitchen where he leaned against the wooden frame. He was watching her, just watching to make sure she enjoyed herself, and Emma moved to him, pulling him down for a kiss right there in front of everyone.

It couldn't be too hot and heavy, it couldn't even really hint at where Emma wanted to go with her husband right now, but it was a taste of what they'd have later, when this wonderful party and these festivities were behind them. And Killian knew that too, Emma was sure of it when she pulled back after the kiss and looked into his blue eyes. They were shining brightly, with all the love she felt mirrored in those clear blue pools.

"You did all of this?" Emma asked and Killian looked like he was about to deflect and give credit to the others when Henry called out.

"He did ninety five percent if it. The rest of us just tried to distract you or picked up paper plates." Henry's words made everyone laugh and then Emma turned back to Killian.

"I did a fair amount," Killian replied and Emma grinned widely. Though she knew her answers by now, she still had a few more things to get off her chest.

"This is why you've been on the phone so much? Why you've had weird hours and keep running late to things?" Emma asked, though it was more a rhetorical question.

"Aye, love. A party for you demanded a proper amount of effort, though I should have known you'd be aware of the other calls on my time. And as for that blasted phone, you know I hate the bloody thing, but it was worth using it every damn time to see your face when you walked in."

Emma ran her hand against his cheek, loving the feeling of being here in his arms and in this home they'd made together. Surrounded by the people who loved her most, and the friends she'd made in this crazy town in Maine, Emma felt truly at peace, and happy in a way no one deserved to be.

"I love you, Killian," He responded with one last light kiss.

"And I love you, Emma. But I did promise Henry we'd get right to the cake. I'm sure you approve of his eagerness. That love of dessert is a family trait after all."

Emma nodded and that set everything else in motion. The night went on and a great time was had by all, but when everyone was gone Emma and Killian sealed the beautiful memory of this day with the love that they shared together upstairs in their bedroom, away from the rest of the world.

And the next week, when they all were celebrating Emma's birthday, it was Emma who had the best gift to give Killian: the knowledge that their wish had been granted, and that in eight months time that new baby that they'd dreamed of would be showing up and joining this wonderful family now and forever.

….

 _This room's so quiet_

 _I can hear the sound of silence_

 _Right here in your arms_

 _And I'm falling asleep to your heartbeat_

 _It's just you and I_

 _Shadows in the passing headlights_

 _And I think for a moment_

 _You won't let go of me_

 _But suddenly that bright blue_

 _Is glowing in this dark room_

 _You turn away like I'm not here at all_

 _Why don't you put that fucking phone down?_

 _Darling, so we could be alone now_

 _Can't you just be here when the lights go out_

 _Why don't you ever put that phone down?_

 _What could be so goddamn important_

 _That it can't wait until the morning?_

 _You got me right here with my clothes off now_

 _Why don't you put that fucking phone down?_

 _Yeah, the first thing you do_

 _Is when I reach out my hand to touch you_

 _Are you hiding something from me?_

 _'Cause you moved when I get close_

 _Oh, I hate that bright blue_

 _It's glowing in this dark room_

 _You turn away like I'm not here at all_

 _Why don't you put that fucking phone down?_

 _Darling, so we could be alone now_

 _Can't you just be here when the lights go out_

 _Why don't you ever put that phone down?_

 _What could be so goddamn important_

 _That it can't wait until the morning?_

 _You got me right here with my clothes off now_

 _Why don't you put that fucking phone down?_

 _You're killing the moment_

 _The window is closing_

 _It's only supposed to be two of us_

 _Put that phone down_

 _Please, put that phone down_

 _Now I'm feeling awkward_

 _It's actually torture_

 _You're making a fool of the both of us_

 _Put that phone down_

 _Please, put that phone down_

 _Why don't you put that fucking phone down?_

 _Darling, so we could be alone now_

 _Can't you just be here when the lights go out_

 _And just put that phone down?_

 _What could be so goddamn important_

 _That it can't wait until the morning?_

 _You got me right here with my clothes off now_

 _Why don't you put that fucking phone down?_

 _ **Post-Note: Oh fluff. I just really love writing fluff. Anyway thank you to the lovely reader who asked for more surprise parties. Love love love getting to write worried Emma and then tearfully happy Emma. It's always a joy. And it never hurts to just throw an expectant Emma and Killian in there too, because baby fluff is just fantastic in my book. Also thank you to all of you for reading and I hope you have a great rest of your day and a wonderful weekend!**_


	134. Like I'm Gonna Lose You

_**A/N: Reader requested future CS fic where Emma has a bad dream (about the moment in 5x20 when they say goodbye in the Underworld). Killian coaxes her out of it and reminds Emma that they're together and safe (in a smuffy way). I've done a few chapters like this before, but it never hurts to add another. Also ties in multiple reader suggestions for the song 'Like I'm Gonna Lose You' by Meghan Trainor. Rated M.**_

 _Running through the narrow passageway to the lift that would bring them back to the Underworld's library, Emma felt the strain and stress of the disappointment they'd just faced. Their chance to get Killian out of here was gone, true love test or not, but Emma couldn't accept that. They would find a way. They had to find a way._

" _Come on, we don't have that much time before the portal closes," Emma said, moving into the elevator, but Killian remained outside, the look on his face eradicating any of the remaining hope that Emma had._ Oh God, please don't let him do this.

" _What?" Emma asked, knowing already what Killian was about to say and dreading it more than anything._

" _I'm not going up with you. I never was." And there it was: the final blow to her heart that made Emma's whole body recoil from the pain. "We're never going to find anything up there to save me."_

 _That couldn't be true. Emma couldn't accept that. This was all wrong. He was supposed to come back to her, come back_ with _her, so that they could finally get past this load of bullshit that the Universe kept throwing their way. Didn't any of their fighting matter? Wasn't enough that Killian was a good man, a changed man, and that they loved each other in a way so few people ever could?_

" _But you said -,"_

" _It was the only way I could get you to leave that chamber."_

 _The look in Killian's eyes in this moment would haunt Emma forever. He was so resigned to his fate, accepting in a way that Emma never would be. Killian wasn't okay by any stretch of the imagination. His pain and his regret at not being able to come with her were clear as day, but he was either the strongest person alive, or he loved Emma so much that he could stand here and bluntly claim that he wasn't coming back in the hopes that she would persevere and leave him, when it was the last thing she ever wanted to do._

" _No. Killian, I came to the Underworld to save you. I'm not going back without you."_

 _Emma tried to pull him with her, but he wouldn't budge. He was like a statue, set in stone and unyielding, and his resistance tore her in half. Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he see that without him she couldn't do this? She couldn't be a savior, or the trusting, hopeful person she'd become. Emma needed him. He made her need him._

" _I'm afraid we don't have a choice, love. Look, I just want to say my goodbyes down here without everyone watching." If Emma were able to think rationally or to tear the overflowing emotions that flooded her system currently out of the picture, she would grant him that final bit of peace willingly, but as it was she wouldn't hear it._

" _No," she said forcefully, tears continuing to stream down her face._

" _We've already had more time than we were ever meant to." How could that be? They were supposed to have forever, and this wasn't that? What about happy endings? What about their future? All of that was taken from them, and Killian seemed to believe that they were never meant to have it at all._

" _That's not true," Emma replied._

" _We both know it is. You should have let me go in Camelot. Don't make that mistake again."_

" _I just… I don't know how to say goodbye."_

" _Well then don't. Just promise me one thing. If I helped take off that armor, don't put it back on just because you're gonna lose me."_

 _The wave of despair crashed over her fully in that moment, and Emma felt herself slipping into this horrible reality that she hated, one where Killian would be really gone this time. There were no second chances, no ways out, just a hug that would never fulfill anything and a need for her to promise something she didn't know if she could ever grant._

" _I promise. But then you have to promise me something to. Don't let me be your unfinished business. Move on from here. Don't wait for me to show up."_

 _Saying those words twisted the knife in her heart further, because Emma wanted him to wait, and she wanted to do the same thing. What was the point of a better place if Killian wasn't there? How could anything be considered a happy ending if he was gone? It couldn't be, but she had to try and convince him, because he deserved better than more stagnation and more waiting for her to catch up. He'd been waiting so long, and all of it was her fault. Everything tied back to her and her inability to just believe._

 _Emma wished she'd done things differently. There were so many moments when she should have said more, when she should have been honest and clear. She knew that Killian knew how she felt about him, and she knew that he loved her with everything in him despite all her flaws and her setbacks and her fears. Emma only wished that she could have been braver, and that she could have realized that losing him would be the worst feeling in the world. She should have savored every moment, made the most of every second. Now she was standing here with all this regret, knowing things would never be the same again._

 _Killian made promises of his own before putting her in the elevator, and Emma was wracked with the grief, her whole body shaking and practically numb from the immense amount of pain and torment flowing through her. He put down the barrier, and with one last kiss they said goodbye. Letting go of his hand was the final point of impact that hit her straight in the chest. Emma closed her eyes, her mind roiling with nothing but the most sincere sadness and then she heard him call her name._

" _Emma!"_

When Emma opened her eyes again, she was back in Storybrooke, sleeping in her bed with Killian beside her. He was awake, appearing terrified and then she realized she was crying. Those tears in her dream were real, and so was the feeling of being on the edge of utter desperation. But now, with Killian's arms around her, and his mouth coming down to press kisses to her cheeks and lips ever so lightly, Emma breathed him in and let herself remember that all of that was in the past. They weren't in the Underworld anymore and they hadn't been for a long, long time.

"Which one was it this time?" Killian asked, knowing that every once in a while, when things in her life were stressful as they had been lately, nightmares would come calling that stole away her peaceful slumber just to make matters worse.

"The Underworld." Killian's eyes closed and he pressed his forehead to hers, his hand stroking soothing circles along her back. Emma could feel the one ring that mattered most as she did, and that cool metal band from their wedding added another level of security for Emma.

"One of the worst," he whispered and Emma nodded, knowing that Killian had his fare share of bad dreams as well, and that they all centered around losing her.

"I love you," Emma said quietly, and she watched as Killian's lips curled up to one side, his smile appearing even before his eyes opened again. In the dark of these early morning hours, Emma couldn't see every shade of blue in them, but she did see that light that spoke to his love for her and his devotion to what they were building together.

"I love you, too, Emma. More than anything. And even if the fear still lingers, know that we're here now. We're past the darkness, and whenever it comes calling again, we'll make it past that too."

The sweet sound of Killian's belief was so welcome to Emma's ears. In that memory he'd been resigned and hopeless, but she loved her pirate most when he was fighting for their happiness. Killian rarely gave up, and never when it came to keeping her safe, and that fire in his eyes and that determination in his heart was one of the most attractive things about the man Emma chose to spend her life with.

"Make me forget," Emma pleaded and without needing any other instruction, Killian set out to do just that, taking her lips in a hungry kiss that immediately worked to undermine the doubts and heartache her nightmare had brought forward.

With the proof of his being here and his continued love for her so apparent, Emma had no choice but to accept that they were real. It felt so good to be here in Killian's arms and in their bed, and it soothed a part of her aching soul to know that this was another moment they'd have. Emma had lost count of how many they'd accrued together now, but they all mattered and were everyone of them precious, from the moment Zeus brought Killian back to her, to the time she faced her fate as savior, to the time they'd finally managed a quiet enough moment to get engaged and then married. Every instance when they were together, those big and those seemingly small, made Emma a better person, and they built the foundations of that happily ever after they were both fighting so hard for.

The kiss that started eagerly moved swiftly to something even more. It was a dance between the two of them designed to wash away the unwanted memories with pleasure, and to restore both of them back to that place they'd been when going to sleep, where they were peaceful and content with the time they had to be together here and now.

With roaming grazes, and heated kisses that moved from her lips down her jaw and to her neck, Killian sparked that same desire and lust to come forth again for Emma. The warmth of those feelings had to take priority over everything else except Emma's need to convince him of one thing he already knew.

"I love you, Killian. God I love you so much."

Killian growled his approval against her pulse point and the reverberations applied to that sensitive spot made Emma writhe beneath him. She arched up for more, her hands clawing at him for any kind of purchase she could find, but Killian knew better than she did what Emma needed in that moment. As always, he could read her like a book, and find the answers to things so she desperately wanted without so much as a word spoken on her end.

While Emma's mind was chanting out that she needed something fast and fierce and all consuming, Killian gave her a different kind of satisfaction. This wasn't instant gratification, but a leisurely mapping of every part of her. There was no way to describe what he was doing except to say that Killian was cherishing every facet of Emma, making note of each spot that made Emma's tummy flutter and her arousal spark hotter. He was building to a release that would be blindingly brilliant, but waiting and surviving the onslaught of pleasure would take everything in her.

The rough scratch of Killian's beard on her skin, and the skillful use of his mouth and hand at her breasts and then lower down her body forced Emma to close her eyes and bite back more than a few moans. His name came out over and over again, and she couldn't help the cry that came when his mouth came to her sex and he used his expert knowledge of her body to drive her crazy. It took barely anything but a few flicks to her clit to send her over into bliss, but Killian wasn't satisfied. Not in the slightest.

As Emma came down from her first climax and some of the sensitivity settled, she heard her husband murmur words of love and appreciation against her inner thigh. Emma was torn between watching him and closing her eyes so she could just feel, but in the end she sided with keeping her gaze on Killian. She wanted to remember this, and to burn a new memory so deeply in her psyche that every time those bad dreams came calling back she could find a way to link it with this moment, and veer out of those nightmares before they fully unfurled.

When Killian set about bringing her back to the brink, Emma panted for breath. He was just so freaking good at this, knowing exactly what spots she wanted to feel him most, and when to let his fingers join the fray. She was powerless to deny his quest for her satisfaction, and she didn't want to deny him. In fact, all she could think when she fell apart again was that she wanted to give him the same amount of life-affirming ecstasy.

"I know that look, Swan. This is supposed to be about you," Killian muttered, but Emma wasn't hearing it and when he was back above her she flipped their positions so she was the one on top.

"It's about both of us being _together_ , being happy. You know you do that for me right?" Emma asked, her mouth coming down so it was a breath away from a kiss. "You make me so happy by being here for me and this family, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that."

"There's no thanks needed, my love. All the reward I could ever want is that brilliant smile of yours." Killian said the words as his hand came up to brush away the curtain of hair that had slipped between them and Emma felt her resistance lessening, but she pulled back, having a plan that she didn't want to abandon. He'd get what he wanted soon enough, but now it was Emma's turn for a little teasing of her own.

Her hand trailed down his chest onto the hard planes of his abs and Emma could see Killian's muscles tighten with anticipation. It gave her this immense amount of pride to know that Emma had the same level of control over him that he had over her. They were equal in this, partners in life and in love, and everything was fair play between them. There was no keeping score. There was no fear of not knowing the other by now. They weren't a new love anymore, but Emma didn't mind that one bit. New had been scary for her even if it was beautiful, but this was so much better, because it was permanent and it was simultaneously safe and invigorating.

"Gods you are a bloody siren, Swan," Killian swore a few times when her hand came around to grip his hard cock and she moved down his body to taunt him a little more with her mouth. " _Fuck_ , Emma, I'll never last that way."

"Maybe I don't want you too," Emma teased back but the look in his eyes was sincere in that moment and needy.

"Please, Emma. Why deny ourselves when we can have everything right now?"

He made a good point, and Emma moved back up to line herself up with Killian, and then lowered herself onto his hard shaft and reveled in his curses and quickly unraveling control. They were both so far past the slow, sensual torture and chasing something more fulfilling and more quickly procured. It didn't take long before Emma was breaking apart and Killian was following her into that state, holding her close all the while.

"I'll never have enough of these moments, Emma." Killian confessed a while later when sleep was hanging heavy over Emma. She fought off that need to slip back into dreaming long enough to look at him and run her fingertips against his jaw.

"Maybe not, but we'll have a million of them, and we'll live everyone like they could be the last. No more wasting time for us." Killian smiled and kissed her lightly before pulling her close she felt safe and warm

"Aye love. The wait is at last over."

Emma fell asleep with those words as her boon, a beacon in her subconscious that kept away the darkness and only let light in instead, and it inspired a new kind of dream, one aimed at the future with Killian and all that they could have. There were more kids in that fantasy, and though there were rocky times, there were interludes that made every battle so incredibly worth it, like watching Henry's joy in being an older brother, or seeing Killian really get the chance to be a father. He was going to be so good at it, Emma was certain, and when she woke up hours later, with the sun streaming through her windows she told Killian as much.

"You think we're ready, Swan?" Killian asked, clearly excited and nervous at the prospect.

"I do," Emma said, noticing the way his blue eyes lit up at her confirmation. "I think we can do anything as long as we're together."

And so they did. They made Emma's dreams real, and built that life that not so long ago they both never thought could be possible. But it _was_ possible, and it was just as fulfilling and wonderful as they ever could have hoped because Emma and Killian lived each day knowing that nothing was guaranteed except the love of this family and the fact that in every realm and every story they would find their way back to each other, no matter what it took.

…

 _I found myself dreaming_

 _In silver and gold_

 _Like a scene from a movie_

 _That every broken heart knows we were walking on moonlight_

 _And you pulled me close_

 _Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone_

 _I woke up in tears_

 _With you by my side_

 _A breath of relief_

 _And I realized_

 _No, we're not promised tomorrow_

 _So I'm gonna love you_

 _Like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna hold you_

 _Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing_

 _I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when_

 _When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you_

 _Like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

 _In the blink of an eye_

 _Just a whisper of smoke_

 _You could lose everything_

 _The truth is you never know_

 _So I'll kiss you longer baby_

 _Any chance that I get_

 _I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets_

 _Let's take our time_

 _To say what we want_

 _Use what we got_

 _Before it's all gone_

 _'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow_

 _So I'm gonna love you_

 _Like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna hold you_

 _Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing_

 _I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when_

 _When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you_

 _Like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

 _Hey_

 _Whoa_

 _I'm gonna love you_

 _Like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna hold you_

 _Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing_

 _I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when_

 _When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you_

 _Like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

 _ **Post-Note: This song is so fabulous and it's clearly a great fit for this mixtape, so thank you so much to the multiple readers who requested it, and to the reader who asked for me to incorporate 5x20 somehow. That scene kills me every time, but I think it was a little better writing it because Emma could wake up from the nightmare and have her pirate with her safe and sound. Anyway thank you all for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!**_


	135. Thinking Out Loud

_**A/N: This is a future CS drabble set to the Ed Sheeran's 'Thinking Out Loud.' It centers on Emma and Killian on a Valentine's Day years from now when they have three growing kids and Henry is off on his own adventures. It's from Killian's POV and includes lots of fluff and CS kid moments.**_

"So you have the list of phone numbers in case there's an emergency?" Emma asked their eldest daughter Hope for the third time in roughly five minutes as Killian watched on. He understood Emma's trepidation. Hope was young still, and this would be one of the first times Emma and Killian were leaving her in charge of her younger siblings for a few hours, but Emma seemed to be forgetting a few critical elements that Hope pointed out.

"Mom, I have magic remember? If something happens I'll just poof us all to you and you can fix it. Also Grandma and Grandpa live across the street. We'll be fine."

"Alright. Just, if you get nervous or worried, you have to promise me you'll call us. We won't be disappointed or anything," Emma's words were the final straw in sending Hope into an eye roll.

"Alright, Mom. I promise if I suddenly panic over how to heat up Granny's grilled cheese, you will be the first to know."

Killian bit back a laugh at his daughter's sarcasm and he knew in his heart that the old adage about one's children being a heightened reflection of themselves at that age was true. He'd always had a fiery temper, but Emma was a wordsmith and there was a mighty resemblance between his almost teenage daughter who was crossing her arms and spitting witty retorts, and the Emma Swan Killian had met so many years ago.

"Okay I get it. I'm over doing it," Emma said, moving over to give Hope a kiss an then sparing one for their son Liam who was perched at the table with one of those electronic devices Henry had inspired him to love so much. Killian did the same, bidding Hope and Liam goodbye before moving into the living room where Leia, who was only five, was perched happily with her figurines.

"Is it time for dinner now?" Leia asked Killian as he scooped her up for a hug.

"Afraid not, lass. Your Mum and I are going out for a while remember." Leia nodded and then smiled, speaking in an overly exaggerated sing-songy voice.

"Oh right, because you're _Valentimes_ ," Leia responded with a giggle and a kissy sound that had Emma and Killian both laughing over a shared look. It also made it all the more adorable that she was mispronouncing the word she was using as a weapon.

"That's right, little love," Killian murmured as he kissed her cheek and watched Emma do the same.

"Will I have a Valentimes someday?" Leia asked and Killian swore his heart stopped at even the thought of their baby growing older and finding someone someday, but Emma stepped in to smooth everything over as she always did.

"You already have one, remember?" Emma nodded towards the family's dog who was wagging his tail happily and just waiting for Leia to run over and pet him and play with the special Valentines collar they'd adorned him with today.

"I love Sandy," Leia happily professed, hugging their golden retriever mix tight and Killian only chuckled.

"As you should, love. As you should. Now we'll be back in time to kiss you goodnight. Be good for your sister." The sigh that escaped Leia's mouth in that moment was dramatic and hilarious all in one. If ever Killian or Emma thought they were going to have an easier time when she was grown than they did with Hope, they had another thing coming.

"I'll try my best."

With that promise from their youngest rascal, Killian extended his arm to Emma and led her to the car and on the small voyage they were making from their house to the site of tonight's date.

"So… what did you plan this year?" Emma asked, the teasing in her voice evident as she did.

From that tone alone, Killian could tell that Emma was onto him. His mentality was that each year should be more meaningful than the last. Now that didn't mean it had to be grand and overpowering, but he did want Emma to know in her heart that he'd put thought into these outings, and that he loved her more than anything. On a day this realm dedicated to love, he was determined to see that Emma felt everything he did.

"A little more patience and you'll see, Swan."

Though she muttered to herself about his constant need for surprises Emma did wait, and Killian knew that she enjoyed every second of it. There weren't many things that took Emma off guard in their lives. His wife was competent in all things, and excellent in so many realms of their life.

Emma was a doting mother who was strong and loving and who had the right touch to ensure their children their best chance at being strong and kind themselves one day. She also remained ever vigilant in protecting the town whether it be from the forces of evil or from more mundane happenings that occurred in any small-town setting. But for Killian, her surest gift was her ability to love the way she did. Emma had overcome every fear in her life and she woke every day choosing to hope and to invest herself in people and things she was passionate about. Nothing was more beautiful to him than that, and though they'd both aged a bit since starting their journey, finding a few more wrinkles and tiny showings of the years that had past, Killian swore Emma was the single most radiant entity in all the realms.

Finally they pulled up to the anticipated place, a storefront that had been closed for some time. It had once been the spot of their first date, a night Killian would always remember as wonderful, even with everything that had been going on. To this day he recalled the swell of anxiety and the wracking nerves, and how even though he was terrified of messing up, Emma was able to calm every frayed thought or worry. One smile from his Swan shone a light on each dark part of him, and one laugh procured from the woman who at that time was still so guarded had felt like the most precious of achievements.

"Now I know we've been distracted with the kids, but you had to have known they closed. That was two years ago at this point," Emma said, the humor in her voice still evident. Killian wondered for a moment if she thought him caught off guard, but everything was going exactly to plan.

"Aye, love. But humor me this once, won't you?" Killian asked and Emma accepted his hand as he came to open her door for her, following him into the restaurant.

When he'd come in here two weeks ago to make the arrangements there was nothing like cleanliness in sight. The place was dusty and largely forgotten, but Killian had a plan and a vision. He wasn't going to recreate everything exactly as it was, but he was going to take this space and make it something that Emma would love. When he thought of Emma and things that made her happy there were many touchstones, most importantly him and their family, but she was a woman who appreciated the good things in life so keenly, no doubt thanks to the harshness she'd known once upon a time.

"Killian, this is…" Emma trailed off, looking around at the room that he'd completely reworked.

The warm colors that had once been here were restore again, but instead of a sea of tables there was only one, set with crisp linens and candlelight and everything that he planned with the friends he'd asked for help in doing this. In the empty spaces there were flowers, all of the varieties his Emma loved, and music played in the background that Killian knew Emma was enamored with. And over to the side, under dimmer lights and beside a roaring fire was a cleared space, one that Killian planned to use to his advantage come the meal's end.

"Do you like it?" Killian asked as he took his wife's coat and Emma's response was a look that said a thousand lovely words and a kiss that tasted just as sweet as all the ones that had come before it.

"I love it," Emma admitted.

"Well then, allow me to live up to every expectation."

Killian pulled a rose from one of the bushels of flowers and offered it to her, a moment also reminiscent of their first date. Emma happily accepted as Killian led her to the table and showed her the meal they were enjoying. This was the exact recipe of the food they'd had that night, and it included one glass of the wine that they should have had. They had no Ice Queen to battle this time, but they _did_ have three children living at home who upon their arrival back would demand Emma and Killian have all their wits about them. For them there would be moderation, but a single glass wouldn't hurt a bit.

The meal was delicious, but the best part was Emma's enjoyment and the conversation they were able to have together. There wasn't anything to catch up on, for they lived their lives so closely intertwined (just the way they liked it), but there were stories to reminisce on and thoughts to share, especially about the kids. All three of their little ones were very active in school and activities. They had a good many friends, and they loved their family, but sometimes they were a curious brood and other times Killian was reminded of how fleeting their childhoods really were.

"You know next year Hope will be old enough to go to the Valentine's dance at school," Emma said, knowing she would prompt a growled out response from Killian.

"Not if I have anything to say about it. I'll go to every bloody parent-teacher conference and demand they cancel that blasted event," Killian stated determinedly as Emma laughed, putting her hand on his. Instantly her touch cut through much of Killian's resistance. She was the calm in a storm that had come from out of the blue.

"For all the jokes and the jests you made about my father being too protective back in the day, you've certainly turned it around," Emma smiled as she said the words.

"Of course I have. There's nothing more worth protecting than this family. If I ever doubted a man's duty to protect those he loves… well then I was a fool." Not that he would tell David that. The last thing he needed was his friend and father-in-law getting a big head.

"Really? I think you were just into me and getting slightly frustrated with all the push back."

The glimmer in Emma's green eyes as she countered his thoughts with ones of her own sparked the underlying need that he had to pull his wife in closer. Killian also knew Emma well enough to realize that every turn of phrase she used was chosen carefully and always served a purpose. Her innuendo was not lost on him and so he dished some of his own to her in return.

"Maybe so. But now there's no need for frustration. I can get _into you_ anytime I like." Emma's responding eye roll made him grin. "Well within reason. Essentially when the children are asleep or away you're mine, Swan."

"I'm always yours," Emma said softly and Killian took the hand she offered and brought it up to kiss before asking if she was finished and moving back from the table and taking her with him.

"As I am yours, love. But I do have one final request for the evening."

"Oh yeah?" Emma asked while peering up at him.

"A dance, Swan. You know I live to have you in my arms."

He felt the moment Emma melted into him, and the two of them swayed to the music together in the style that was more befitting of this realm. There was one song, and then another, but finally a different kind of melody wafted through the speakers that Killian had put in, and the sound surprised Emma. He watched her animated eyes move from wonder to recognition in a split second, and then he smiled, loving the expression Emma made when she'd figured something out.

"This song… we danced to this at the ball back in the Enchanted Forest," she said, the awe apparent in her voice.

"Aye love, our first dance," Killian agreed, shifting their positions for a waltz.

It was different this time (for Emma wasn't in the same flowing scarlet gown but one that was lighter and cut shorter than the last), but Killian was glad for it, pulling his wife in closer than he'd had the chance to all those years ago. Now the world was different. He wasn't trying to prove himself to be a better man than his past actions dictated – he was Emma's true love and her husband, the father of her children, and her partner in all things, and Killian wore all of those badges of honor with pride.

Some things had stayed the same though, including the rush that coursed through him when Emma looked at him with that hopeful look and innocent excitement. Her golden hair retained those same curls even now though it was shorter than it had been all those years ago in a totally different realm.

"But how did you find this?" she asked, still not understanding that he would go to the ends of the earth to find any way to see her happy. No matter, he still had a whole life ahead of him to show her.

"I had some help. Your parents happen to be relative experts when it comes to balls, and between the three of us putting our heads together, and some research at the library with Belle, we were able to find something almost exactly the same."

"I can't believe you did all of this," Emma gazed around the room again appreciatively. "It must have taken forever."

One of the things Killian loved about Emma was that she never went into things with expectations. All she asked of him was that he love her, and that he be a devoted father and partner. Though she needn't have worried. Killian would always do that and so much more. Romance, however, was never usually the demand his Emma made yet Killian loved gifting her more and more of it. After all, if he had the means of making Emma even half as happy as she'd made him, he'd be granting her real and eternal bliss.

"No, Swan. Forever is what we have together. This was just a small token of my love for you."

Killian meant that too, about having forever. He fully intended to see old age with the love of his life beside him. To watch all of their kids grow just as Henry had, and to see them start families of their own. It terrified him that things were happening so quickly, but any journey was worth it as long as Emma was by his side. And as for whatever came after this life, Killian wasn't worried. He and Emma were written in the stars and had been blessed by the Gods themselves. They'd find their way to each other forever and always.

"The truth is…" Killian began again, "The truth is that I fall a little more in love with you every day, Emma."

"Even the ones where we wake up panicked because we slept through the alarm and the kids are late for school and the whole day is subsequently out of whack?" Emma asked and Killian laughed knowing they'd faced such a day last week.

"Even then," Killian promised.

"And even when I've had it with everyone in this crazy town and every bad guy who comes calling and I take it out on you?" Emma countered.

"Even then," Killian vowed.

"And someday when we're old and gray and forgetting easy things or taking an hour to get out of bed? You'll still love me then?" All right, now she was just being dramatic.

"First of all, I will never let you forget us, Emma. I can promise you that, just as I can promise you that I will love you more with every second we have together. It's never ending, this love I have for you. It will persevere through every trial and test, without fail."

Emma's eyes sparkled with happy tears at that. He'd never be able to find the right words for Emma, because the way that he felt, and the way that she'd saved him and given him every good thing that he had in the world, made her his miracle. Killian was convinced that no other couple had ever felt this strong a bond, and that likely no one else would ever feel it again.

"Good. Because I feel exactly the same way," Emma whispered.

Disregarding the continuing music, Emma halted her steps and pulled Killian in for another kiss. This one was less restrained than before, a profession from her soul to his about how good this thing was between them and how it was timeless in every way. It shook Killian to his core at the same time that it grounded him, reminding him that even when he thought things were as good as they possibly could be, there was always a way to find more when he was with Emma.

"How did I get so lucky?" Emma murmured when she pulled back as her fingers trailed across his neck lightly, her words sultry and sweet all at once.

"I ask myself the same thing every day." Killian felt his wife sigh contentedly as she leaned in closer.

"Happy Valentine's Day Killian,"

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love."

They stayed caught in each other's embraces like that for quite a while, but when the night was over and their dancing had concluded, Emma and Killian returned to the house they'd made together and the family that would always be their greatest crowning joy. And luckily for them, Emma and Killian had the chance at many more years together like this, with the love they had for each other keeping them strong and happy each and every day.

…

 _When your legs don't work like they used to before_

 _And I can't sweep you off of your feet_

 _Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love_

 _Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks_

 _And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70_

 _And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23_

 _And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_

 _Maybe just the touch of a hand_

 _Oh me I fall in love with you every single day_

 _And I just wanna tell you I am_

 _So honey now_

 _Take me into your loving arms_

 _Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 _Place your head on my beating heart_

 _I'm thinking out loud_

 _Maybe we found love right where we are_

 _When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades_

 _And the crowds don't remember my name_

 _When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm_

 _I know you will still love me the same_

 _'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen_

 _Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory_

 _I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_

 _Maybe it's all part of a plan_

 _I'll just keep on making the same mistakes_

 _Hoping that you'll understand_

 _But baby now_

 _Take me into your loving arms_

 _Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 _Place your head on my beating heart_

 _I'm thinking out loud_

 _That maybe we found love right where we are, oh_

 _So baby now_

 _Take me into your loving arms_

 _Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 _Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart_

 _I'm thinking out loud_

 _That maybe we found love right where we are_

 _Oh maybe we found love right where we are_

 _And we found love right where we are_

 _ **Post-Note: So first and foremost thank you to the few of you who reached out the past week or so asking for a valentine's fic. I at first thought I was just going to republish an old one from last year, but I decided to do that and add a new little one as well. Thank you also to the lovely reader who suggested this song, and I hope that you all have a wonderful day!**_


	136. With Arms Wide Open

_**A/N: This modern AU chapter is a multi-reader requested sequel to 'So In Love' (chapter 126 if you want to go back and refresh your memory) where Emma and Killian have a son and you get a snapshot of their life with the new baby (and subsequent little ones) through the years. None of the scenes are very long, but I promise they are jam packed with cuteness. Accompanied by the song 'With Arms Wide Open' by Creed as requested by one of my readers.**_

 _One Year Later_

While parenting would never be an exact science, Killian had to admit that time was the greatest of teachers.

During the long months of Emma's pregnancy spent by her side, Killian had prepared in so many ways for what a new baby might bring, but all the studying and books he'd read didn't do justice to the journey laid out before him and his wife. Having a child that depended on you and looked to you for guidance was a huge responsibility, but it was also an incredible blessing, and a sure source of happiness that had transformed Killian's already charmed life into something even more amazing.

"Alright son, you've had your nap and your bottle, and now we're off to the big stuff – making your mother happy," Killian said to little Bennett, his pride and joy, who had just hit six months a few days back.

Bennett was growing bigger every day, which both thrilled and terrified Killian and Emma, for it all felt like it was going by so quickly. But they couldn't have asked for a more perfect child. Bennett was mild tempered and patient with his two parents who were still learning as they went. He was exactly the kind of miracle they'd needed to be able to manage the fragile equilibrium they'd created in their lives, and so far things were going better than anyone could have expected. Killian and Emma had both graduated and found work that was flexible enough for them to care for their son, but Killian still dreamed that someday he and Emma would have enough money to let them stay home full time. Leaving their son was hard for both of them, but it did make coming home all the grander.

Since today was Killian's day home with Bennett, it was expected that he'd make dinner for all of them. But tonight Killian desired something out of the ordinary. Killian had it all in his mind just so, and while they couldn't go out for a date (as neither of them had much desire to be away from Bennett), Killian could create an ambiance here that would let Emma know he was thinking of her. He'd organized everything precisely, with new tablecloths and the nicer plates and some candles lit up on the table before him. While running errands with their little lad he'd stopped and gotten Emma's favorite flowers and put them in water in the hopes they'd make her smile. Killian was rather pleased with the showing, and he knew Emma would enjoy it, which made the extra effort worth it.

"Now, the question is do we go with your mother's favorite meal, or do we go with something a bit more involved than grilled cheese?" Killian asked, knowing that Bennett wouldn't do more than yawn or happily babble to him, but hearing the latter sound always sent a happy rush through Killian's chest. He suspected that someday his son would be quite the talker, and he could hardly wait for that day to come. Until then he'd carry on the conversation himself.

"Right you are, lad. Grilled cheese can be had any old day. Let's change things up a bit."

Killian pulled out the ingredients he needed for the more sophisticated meal and set to work, humming along to the old radio that was in the kitchen of the tiny house they'd found after leaving school. It was perfectly sized for them, and located in a small town that Killian and Emma both believed was right for raising their kids. There was a sense of community here in Storybrooke, and a beauty that most places couldn't boast, and both Emma and Killian agreed that they should have liked a childhood spent here had things been different.

But tonight's fuss-free spell could only last so long, and as things were finishing up with the cooking, Bennett began to squirm in his seat and make those breathy whines that hinted at an oncoming cry. With fluid movements and sure steps Killian moved to his boy and picked him up, seeking an answer for what could be wrong. He didn't need changing or feeding, and this wasn't crankiness from lack of sleep. So Killian was left with one option:

"You miss your mother don't you?" Killian asked and Bennett curled closer into his chest, still whimpering a bit. Well, for this there was only one cure – a stroll around the house and a story about the magical woman who'd brought Bennett into the world and provided Killian with a life truly worth living.

"I know I miss her too. I've missed her every moment she's been gone since that very first day," Killian said soothingly and Bennett's wide eyes were trained on Killian. Surely his son couldn't understand, but somehow Killian believed he knew they were speaking of Emma. It had to be why he'd calmed down some.

"She was coming out of class on the first day of uni, and I have to tell you son, I wasn't ready for her. You hear of angels in Sunday school and you think they're all well and good, and then you see one in the flesh and you realize how much better and brighter the world can be. Your Mum was like the sun from that very first moment, and your Dad was a bit of a klutz, banging into her without a single shred of swagger to be seen."

Bennett cooed a soft sound, and Killian grinned, taking it for the purposes of his story as a comment on his lack of cool. No one would be wrong in claiming that either, for Killian had caused quite a scene and had been more than embarrassed, but all it took was one genuine smile from the mysterious girl with the golden hair and all his shame fell away, never to return.

"As per usual though, your mother was gracious, and when I helped her grab her books, she made a joke – not at my expense, but about her being too new to yet have a system for carrying all her things. I knew then that she was kind, and though I was scared six ways to Sunday I got myself together and I asked her if perhaps she'd like to go out with me sometime. You know what she said to that? She said I was awfully forward because I hadn't even asked her her name."

Bennett's murmuring continued and Killian shook his head, feigning disbelief as he did.

"I know, I know – what was I bloody thinking? Truth is I was just consumed with the idea that the worst mistake I could ever make was letting her get away. Sometimes you just know when a thing is good – when it's perfect for you - and I got that feeling right away, the same one I had when they told us you were coming, lad.

"I gave her my name then, and asked for hers, and before I could ask her out once more, your Mum turned the tables and asked _me_ out. That's just the way your mother is – running the show, and doing it just the right way each and every time."

Killian looked on the mantel in the living room where they were standing at a picture of him and Emma from back in those days. It wasn't the first day he'd met her, but very near it, and he could imagine the slight variations from this photo to the way she'd appeared that day. Her sundress was yellow, her hair tied back, and her freckles had just been a touch more prevalent from the recent summer sun. She was a dream made real, but when she'd placed her hand in his, he knew that she was more than fantasy – Emma Swan was his destiny and he'd been determined to convince her of that.

"So you can imagine what happened next – we spent the day together in a coffee shop, learning just the most basic things there were to know about the other and I knew when the waitress asked us what we wanted and your Mum said cocoa with cinnamon that it was love. Don't ask me how I knew, there were a lot of little things, but I think it was mostly her eyes – so green and hopeful and packing a powerful promise I couldn't quite understand. I fell for her then, knowing I'd never know true happiness unless I could make her fall for me in turn."

"Little did you know I was falling for you too right at that moment," Emma said from the doorway. Killian turned to find her there smiling with the sheen of happy tears in her eyes. Immediately Emma moved into the room and Bennett noticed her, reaching for his mother as Killian pressed a kiss to her lips.

"It's good to have you home, love," he professed and Emma smiled genuinely.

"It's good to be home with the two best guys in the whole wide world," Emma said, giving Bennett a sweet kiss on his cheek. Their son laughed in that infantile way and Killian held Emma close, tracing his thumb ever so slightly on Bennett's arm.

"How did we get so lucky?" Killian asked, meaning it with all his heart. There had never been a moment he regretted of Emma getting pregnant so young. Not a single one. After all, how could regret one of the single best things that had ever happened to him?

"We found each other and everything else fell into place from there," Emma said with conviction.

"And I will always find you Emma. Always and forever," Killian promised with one more kiss.

Emma agreed that she would find him too when they pulled apart and she vowed that she loved him just as fiercely as he loved her. And with that, the three of them returned to their planned evening, enjoying the happiness that could only ever come with family, and with a sense of truly belonging in one singularly perfect place in time.

….

 _Five Years Later_

"Mom! Dad! Look what I can do!"

The cry from Bennett across the room had both Emma and Killian looking as their son completed a messy somersault. He'd been tumbling like this for weeks, since they'd brought him to a class at the rec center in town, but it made both Emma and Killian smile to see his pride at the action. Bennett was still wobbly as was customary for toddlers, but he was harnessing his motor abilities a little more each time, and his belief that he could do it if he tried hard enough would see his son through. Of that Killian was completely convinced.

"Well done, lad," Killian said, running his hand through Bennett's dark hair when he came bounding over. Bennett sprinted the whole way but he slowed at the last second to protect his baby sister, who was still exceptionally fragile.

"Did you see me Hope?" Bennett asked excitedly to the little tyke in Killian's other arm.

"She certainly did, son. Watched the whole time," Killian promised as Hope cooed softly.

Emma and Killian's daughter was just about five months, and they'd waited quite a while to have her after having Bennett so young. But finally with a bit more stability and a better system in place, Emma and Killian agreed that what they wanted most of all was to grow their family and to give Bennett the siblings he deserved. Hope babbled happily as Bennett kissed her cheek.

"Someday you'll be big like me and you can try too. But not yet, right Mom?" Bennett asked, seeking Emma's approval from across the way. Bennett had learned early that his mother was always right, and it only proved to Killian what a smart lad they had on their hands.

"No, definitely not today. You'll just have to be the family gymnast for a while, kid."

"Okay, but I want to be a conductor too. Choo choo!" Bennett yelled making Hope laugh as he ran back over to the other side of the room and brought his trains out, forgetting about his former physical feats as soon as the colorful figurines were out and rolling around on the floor. Emma meanwhile came to stand with Killian, her fingers running over his arm affectionately.

"Just think love, soon enough we'll have two talkers on our hands. She can't be too far off now."

"I don't know, Killian. She's still a little too young isn't she?" Emma asked, not just because those were the expected facts, but also because Hope was growing at the same speedy rate that Bennett did. It felt like Emma had just gotten pregnant again yesterday, and already their little princess was sitting up on her own and helping feed herself a little more with each meal. It was all too fast for them to handle.

"Let's see. Come on darling, say Dada. Dada," Killian repeated and Hope giggled, patting his face where the beard he'd grown in recent years resided.

"Mama!" Hope said and Killian and Emma both went slack jawed.

"Did she just…?" Emma asked Killian, the trace of tears glistening in her eyes as she did. Emma rarely ever got overwhelmed with emotions in ordinary situations, but when it came to Killian and their kids, she didn't shut herself off ever. And it was an incredibly powerful feeling, seeing a child say their first words or take their first step.

"Aye love she did. Say it again sweet girl. Say Mama," Killian prompted and Hope surprised them yet again.

"Dada!"

Emma hiccupped a sound of joy before covering their daughter in kisses and making their baby squeal delightedly. Killian meanwhile stood there stunned. Of course his children were both brilliant (how could they not be with a mother as superior as Emma?) but this was a sign of a real gift, Killian was certain.

"She's a genius. A certifiable genius," Killian stated and Hope continued saying the words off and on drawing even the attention of Bennett who came over hoping to hear his name, and while it was far too complex a sound for Hope, her attempt made Bennett grin.

"Wow, she's good," Bennett acknowledged and Killian shook his head, bringing his son up into his arms as Emma held their daughter.

"No, son. You and your sister are both better than good. You're the best things in the whole world to your Mum and me. Isn't that right, love?"

"Exactly right," Emma said smiling at Bennett and though a moment lasted where the four of them were still and happy, it broke a few seconds later when their little boy figured out a way to use this status of his to his advantage.

"You know what good boys get?" Bennett asked and Killian smiled, knowing what was coming even before his son said it. "Good boys get ice cream."

"You know lad, I do believe you're right. Ice cream it is."

And so they all headed out into the warm afternoon sun, set on getting themselves some dessert and enjoying the rest of this glorious day in exactly the way they most loved – together.

…..

 _Ten Years Later_

"Are we there yet, Daddy?" Hope asked from her spot in the center of the car beside her little sister Leia. She'd already asked a number of times on this trip, but Killian couldn't help but smile as he cast a glance her way in the rearview mirror. His eldest daughter had a very inquisitive mind, and a more than active imagination. All his musings from the start about her being brilliant had been proven correct, but she was also impatient in an endearing, childlike way.

"Nearly, love. Just two minutes more," Hope made a happy sound and then turned her attention back out the window down the streets of Storybrooke that were filled with changing leaves and active, friendly neighbors.

"I still say you should have told me where we're going," Emma teased from her spot beside him in the passenger seat. "I could have helped you get everything together this morning."

Killian reached his hand across the console to take Emma's and the gentle intertwining of their fingers felt just as calming and right as it had when they were practically kids. They'd been together almost fifteen years now, but he swore Emma looked just as beautiful and that her presence was even more necessary in his life than it ever had been before. His love for her had never faded; instead it only blossomed into something all the more consuming.

"Ah, but I wanted you to get some more rest, love. With another little one on the way, you need to be getting your sleep," Killian said earnestly, glancing quickly to his wife, whose other hand had gone over the baby bump that made its debut in the last few months. Emma was pregnant again with their fourth (and according to Emma _final_ ) child, and it was that element of expectancy that was prompting this surprise, though Emma didn't know it yet.

"And what about you? Super Dad doesn't need to sleep?" Emma joked and then leaned in to him to whisper low in his ear. "Because we weren't exactly resting last night."

The mention of last night's endeavors made Killian's chest fill with warmth and the muscles low in his gut clench. His Emma was right. They hadn't done much sleeping last night, choosing instead to indulge in the same passions that had never left them in all their years of marriage. He'd made love to his wife with slow precision, taking immense delight in satisfying every one of her desires and giving way to his own in the process. He'd fed off of every moan and plea, collecting them all as he did her smiles and her laughs and not resting easily until he was sure he'd given Emma all that he could give and more.

"I've no need for sleep when I have you, love. You're the key to everything," Killian said, taking her hand and raising it to kiss ever so gently. He caught the trace of a blush on Emma's cheeks and he smiled wider, loving that his wife was just as susceptible to his attentions now as she ever was.

"Look! It's the Miller House!" Bennett said from the back of the car, drawing Emma's attention and the gazes of the other outside of the window. This was a favorite spot in town for the Jones family, for not only did all the children love the big white house with the wrap around porch and the spacious swing out front, but their mother did too. Since their first arriving in town, Emma had maintained that it was the most perfect spot in town, aside from wherever their family was together and happy.

"Well not quite, lad. It's technically the 'Jones House' now," Killian said, parking out front next to a sign that read 'SOLD' and then taking Emma's hand again.

Killian let the announcement hang in the air and as the kids realized what he meant and went into a tizzy, Emma's hand clutched his tighter. Killian looked to his wife and watched the wave of emotions that flashed across her face. Emma was in shock, but she also looked so hopeful and happy that it made Killian's head spin. He got them all outside and watched as the realtor (who just so happened to be their family friend Belle) waved them inside, and took the kids to see the upper levels. When they'd all run ahead, Emma finally spoke, taking in the first floor with awe in her voice.

"You really bought it?" Emma asked. "You bought us my dream house?"

Killian ran his hand across Emma's cheek, bringing her gaze back to him and he smiled, brushing his thumb across the corner of her lips. He wanted to memorize every part of this moment where his Swan was so happy. Because _this_ was his dream – seeing his wife and their little ones blissfully content day in and day out was the best feeling bar none.

"I did, Emma, and I did it because you deserve every dream in your heart to be made real. I intend to give you everything, Emma. It's only fair since you've given me the same."

Emma's response to his words was to pull him down for a hungry kiss right there in the middle of the house that was now theirs. This embrace said a thousand words of love and happiness and pure, unadulterated joy, and Killian never wanted to break away from it. They both of them reveled in this feeling, and when they did finally pull back, the best part was the way Emma let out a sweet sounding giggle. It was the last bit of undeniable proof that he'd made the right choice, for that sound was one she only made in the absolutely best of times.

"I love you, Killian. God I love you so much," she confessed, holding onto him tight and beaming with every last ounce of feeling she had.

"And I love you, Emma. More than words can say."

They shared one last kiss to seal those emotions between them as they had a million times before and then they joined their family in exploring their new home. And as was to be expected, this house was the perfect spot for their family to find their happily ever after and to spend the rest of their lives blissfully content.

….

 _Well I just heard the news today_

 _It seems my life is going to change_

 _I closed my eyes, begin to pray_

 _Then tears of joy stream down my face_

 _With arms wide open_

 _Under the sunlight_

 _Welcome to this place_

 _I'll show you everything_

 _With arms wide open_

 _With arms wide open_

 _Well I don't know if I'm ready_

 _To be the man I have to be_

 _I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side_

 _We stand in awe, we've created life_

 _With arms wide open_

 _Under the sunlight_

 _Welcome to this place_

 _I'll show you everything_

 _With arms wide open_

 _Now everything has changed_

 _I'll show you love_

 _I'll show you everything_

 _With arms wide open_

 _With arms wide open_

 _I'll show you everything, oh yeah_

 _With arms wide open, wide open_

 _If I had just one wish_

 _Only one demand_

 _I hope he's not like me_

 _I hope he understands_

 _That he can take this life_

 _And hold it by the hand_

 _And he can greet the world_

 _With arms wide open_

 _With arms wide open_

 _Under the sunlight_

 _Welcome to this place_

 _I'll show you everything_

 _With arms wide open_

 _Now everything has changed_

 _I'll show you love_

 _I'll show you everything_

 _With arms wide open_

 _With arms wide open_

 _I'll show you everything, oh yeah_

 _With arms wide open, wide open_

 _ **Post-Note: So thank you first and foremost to the many of you who enjoyed the 'So In Love' chapter. Your enthusiasm (and the request of my couple of readers who wanted a second part) really helped motivate my muse to write this little fic. I always, always love CS kid fics, and I've said it before but I will write these until the show gives me a CS baby. I have a mighty need and this is the best way I can deal with that. Anyway thank you again, and to the many patient readers I have waiting for mixtape chapters I am working on it. I have more than 20 song requests and I have only been averaging about two chapters a week, so the going is slow but we will get there!**_


	137. Jealous

_**A/N: Reader requested future CS drabble where Emma and Killian are on their honeymoon (and actually left Storybrooke to go on it, go figure). Killian is enjoying himself tremendously, but there's one thing he didn't realize about this realm – the swimsuits that this world manufactures might just be designed to drive him mad. Also ties in with a reader request for the song 'Jealous' by Nick Jonas. Hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

There were a number of adjustments that Killian needed to personally make for this trip of Emma's design to a place called the Caribbean, but from the moment she'd pitched him the idea of a 'normal' honeymoon he'd been on board. There was nothing Killian wouldn't do to make Emma happy, and if wandering together for a week on some warm, sandy island was what she wanted then that's what they'd do.

Before leaving Storybrooke, Killian asked around to his family and friends about what lay in store for him. None of them had ever been first hand, of course, but they had associations of the place they were all willing to share. Snow was adamant that it would be the perfect destination for a vacation after a wedding and then added that maybe she and Charming could go one year for an anniversary, while David made some comments on hurricane season and a number of other oddly random elements Killian's research didn't show to be a real issue.

Belle on the other hand rattled off lots of facts about the history of the islands in that area of the world and about some of this world's pirate lore that went along with it. When Killian asked for more on that interesting element however, it was Henry who showed him a series of movies regarding the swashbucklers of this world given a slightly magical twist. They were fascinating in a way these Pirates of the Caribbean (and Killian was glad that this Sparrow character had more backbone and swagger than the Hook of this world), but it wasn't true to life, at least not where Killian was concerned.

Yet none of Killian's preparation could have readied him for the reality. From the moment they stepped off the plane and moved through the island Emma had chosen, Killian was shocked at the colors and warmth of this part of the realm. It was a completely different locale than Storybrooke or New York, and though it was lovely, Killian knew that come the end of the week he'd be happy to get back on that plane and go home with his wife. After all, home was what the two of them had both been searching for for so long and they finally had found it in a sleepy, magically inclined hamlet in Maine.

"You've got that look again," Emma said from across the room and Killian smiled at his lovely wife who looked radiant as always in a white dress that she'd informed him was 'beach appropriate.' Killian wasn't sure _appropriate_ was the word he'd use seeing how short it was, but she was surely a vision right now, and though she was a little worried about leaving Henry and the family for a whole week to fend for themselves, it was clear that Emma was also more relaxed than she had been in a very long time.

"And what look is that?" Killian prompted, wanting her to put words to the exultant feeling he'd carried with him the past few days.

"The outrageously happy one you haven't been able to shake since we said 'I do,'" Emma replied, her smile just as apparent as his was.

"Well I hate to break it to you, Swan – actually scratch that, I love to break it to you – but you have a look that gives mine a run for it's money."

"I know I do, because I'm really, _really_ happy."

Killian could do nothing with those miraculous words but steal a kiss. He'd been trying to refrain a bit today, after forty-eight hours of failing to leave this room that they'd gotten at this resort, but it was bloody impossible. Emma was too perfect for him to walk away from, and he was desperate to see that same heat and need in her green eyes that came every time he kissed her senseless.

"If we have much more of that we'll never see the beach," Emma whispered when they broke apart and though it went against all of his instincts, Killian pulled away, offering his hand to Emma and encouraging her to show him the way.

"We should likely visit the sea for at least a few hours, love," he teased, and Emma muttered good-naturedly about how generous he was to allot them 'a few' hours.

Hand in hand the two of them descended from their beach front villa to the white sands below, and the sun was strong here, far stronger than it ever was back in Maine. He made note that they should both be using that sunscreen Emma was always foisting on Henry in the summer months. The last thing he wanted was his lovely wife injuring herself in any way. Before he could insist on that though, Emma started doing the unthinkable. Killian watched in half horror and half sensual fascination as his beautiful wife stripped away the dress that had been wrapped around herself, leaving her in an ensemble that made even this weathered sailor blush.

"Bloody hell, Emma! What do you think you're doing?!" Killian asked, his eyes tearing away from her to take inventory of the beach. If anyone saw her like this… well Killian didn't know what he'd do, but he hardly believed Emma would be pleased with his response.

Didn't his lovely wife know she was already too damn tempting as it was? Killian had had to deal with men looking at her appreciatively all the time since they'd left Storybrooke, which already aggravated him greatly, but now she was barely covered in any way and Killian hadn't a sword or gun to duel with. One handed and hookless he'd be at a disadvantage, but that didn't stop Killian from thinking of all the ways he could take on any person foolhardy enough to make a pass at his wife.

"What?" Emma asked, knowing full well why he was responding this way. He growled out his reply, shielding her further from any potentially passing stares and not daring to look away from her.

"I don't know what you're playing at, but this is… well it's…" Killian's words trailed off as Emma's hand ran over his bare chest, teasing him in a way that she so often did. Usually, however, she waited until they were at home and alone. This was a bold move for his Emma, and it made the already highly riled up emotions coil tighter through his being.

"Are you trying to say you don't like my outfit?" Emma asked, her voice equal parts seduction and mirth. When she wet her lips absentmindedly it made Killian's gut tighten and the already hard lines of his body tense more. Damn it all to hell, she was spectacular even if she was going to be the death of him.

"I'm trying to say that you married a pirate, Swan, and if you think I won't whisk you back to the room right now sea be damned, you're dead wrong." Even as he said the words, Killian's hand curled into a fist and he tried to fight with that instinct. He didn't want to upset Emma, not when she appeared so care free and relaxed for once in her life.

"Killian -," Emma started, clearly about to say something but Killian wasn't having it.

"I know you're a grown woman, love, and I'd never question your choices. It's 'your life' as you like to put it, but damn if it's not going to drive me crazy! I may have tossed aside my darker impulses in the pursuit of deserving you, but I'm not above fighting any man who tries to take what's mine, and any sensible man would try given the sight of you this way."

That was an understatement, and Killian's mind raced through all the things he'd face in this world and every other to keep Emma as his. He'd already walked through hell and faced countless forms of opposition, but there wasn't a one of them he wouldn't fight all over again for her. Truth be told, every part of Killian belonged to Emma, not just his heart, but all of him. She was the one woman in the world who he truly loved, the one person on earth who understood him and who didn't see insurmountable flaws, but the man he was underneath it all. Gods, the thought of her realizing there might be another man out there she preferred tore him up inside, and while it was highly irrational for him to even consider that, Killian was too blinded by hypothetical jealousy to think straight.

"Killian -," Emma tried again, but he was too wrapped up in his own frustrations to let the love of his life continue that thought.

"I love you, Emma, and you know I want to give you everything your heart desires, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to survive this. It's my right as your husband to be green with envy in a situation like this, and there'll be an unavoidable battle with any passing person with you dressed this way. Gods, you said swimming and I thought it would be like last summer at the beach in Storybrooke! But this…"

The other garment she'd worn hadn't hidden that curvy figure of hers or been much better at covering her up, but it had been slightly more modest. These scraps of fabric on the other hand were barely there and white to boot. They reminded him of what she'd had on underneath her dress on their wedding night, and the thought made him groan aloud. Killian was torn between wanting to ravish her here and to throw her over his shoulder and get her the hell away from this beach.

"This is just for you, Killian," Emma said, her words immediately calming some of the crazy in his head.

"For me?" Killian parroted back to her, his hand running over her skin and pulling her forward. "But out here in the open like this -,"

This time it was Emma's turn to interrupt him and she did it by pressing a kiss to his lips and silently demanding that he meet her in this. It was a request he could never turn down, and the feeling of her wrapped around him, so much of her exposed and pressing against him had Killian losing his head. For a minute he forgot about how there was no sort of barricade from them and the rest of the world. Anyone could happen along the two of them and that thought was what eventually pulled him back. No one saw Emma lost in pleasure – no one but him. Emma must have realized that though, for she clarified further.

"The reason I chose this hotel was because this strip of beach is private to our villa. No one's coming here, Killian. I put the do not disturb sign up back in the room. This little piece of paradise is all ours."

The relief that washed over Killian in the moment Emma said this was private was profound, but as soon as it appeared, it was replaced by a need so strong it took the reigns of Killian's control. One second they were standing up together, the next Killian had Emma under him on one of those lounging chairs, luxuriating in the sound of the giggle that slipped past her lips.

"I thought you might like that part," Emma said, knowing full well that she'd played him.

"I rather think you like your husband getting all jealous over you, Emma. There's a very real chance you planned all of this," Killian quipped and Emma's hands ran over his skin, making him damn glad that the beach dress in this world dictated that he not have his shirt on. The feel of her hands on him were stronger than the feel of the sun or any other thing in this world and he never wanted her touch to fade away or for her to pull back from him.

"Maybe," Emma replied with a smirk, "but to be fair you have nothing to be jealous of. You're it for me, Killian. You're my one, for now and always."

Killian closed his eyes at that and rested his forehead against Emma's for just a moment. He wanted to soak in those words and never let them go because they were reminiscent of Emma's vows from a few days before. Images flashed in his mind again of that undeniably perfect day when they'd stood in front of the whole town and promised each other their hearts and their love, and he couldn't help the skip of his heart when he pictured Emma in that white flowing gown with the flowers in her hair. She'd been an angel, _his_ angel, and the whole day was like a dream.

"I love you, Emma _Jones_. I love you in every realm, in every time. In every story, you're mine and I am yours."

Killian didn't know if it was the hint of his vows, or the way he'd emphasized Emma's new last name, but as soon as the words filled the air between them, Emma pulled him down for another kiss, demanding more form him now than being in public would ever have allowed. There were roaming hands and whispered pleas for more, along with the reminded fact that no one was coming anywhere near them right now.

"I'm completely, totally, irrevocably yours, _Captain_. So what are you going to do about it?" Emma asked, her breathing ragged and her green eyes wide with her want. Gods she was perfect, and she was right – she was his in every way, solidified by that solid gold band beside the diamond he'd given her a few months back.

"I'm going to make you happy, Emma. I'm going to give you everything, because you've already given me the world."

Emma's eyes softened for a second, his words affecting her heart just before they ramped her need for him, and that was the way she looked most beautiful – when every wall was down and the love she had for him was right at the surface. This was the way he loved her most, and the way he'd remember his lovely Swan from now until forever.

"You already have, Killian. I promise you already have."

With those final words there was no more fighting off the love that coursed between them. Instead they caved to the delicious feelings of rightness and belonging that they always shared between them. And a week later, when they did finally make their way off that island, Killian's earlier thoughts were proved right: for as wonderful as a week away with his lovely bride had been, it was the coming home that tasted sweetest, and the future they were building together that outshone everything else.

…..

 _I don't like the way he's looking at you_

 _I'm starting to think you want him too_

 _Am I crazy, have I lost ya?_

 _Even though I know you love me, can't help it_

 _I turn my chin music up_

 _And I'm puffing my chest_

 _I'm getting ready to face you_

 _You can call me obsessed_

 _It's not your fault that they hover_

 _I mean no disrespect_

 _It's my right to be hellish_

 _I still get jealous_

 _'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_

 _And everybody wants a taste_

 _That's why (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_

 _And everybody wants a taste_

 _That's why (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _I wish you didn't have to post it all_

 _I wish you'd save a little bit just for me_

 _Protective or possessive, yeah_

 _Call it passive or aggressive_

 _I turn my cheek music up_

 _And I'm puffing my chest_

 _I'm getting ready to face you_

 _You can call me obsessed_

 _It's not your fault that they hover_

 _I mean no disrespect_

 _It's my right to be hellish_

 _I still get jealous_

 _'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_

 _And everybody wants a taste_

 _That's why (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_

 _And everybody wants a taste_

 _That's why (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _You're the only one invited_

 _I said there's no one else for you_

 _'Cause you know I get excited, yeah_

 _When you get jealous too_

 _I turn my cheek music up_

 _And I'm puffing my chest_

 _I'm turning ready to face you_

 _You can call me obsessed_

 _It's not your fault that they hover_

 _I mean no disrespect_

 _It's my right to be hellish_

 _I still get jealous_

 _'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_

 _And everybody wants a taste_

 _That's why (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_

 _And everybody wants a taste_

 _That's why (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _Oh (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _Oh (that's why)_

 _I still get jealous_

 _ **Post-Note: So I just want to say thank you to my lovely reader who asked for this song and for the one who asked for some honeymoon fluff. I know you both asked a long time ago, but the muse finally spoke to me and told me that I could combine two of my reader requests into one chapter. It's just fluffy cuteness and over the top protective Killian which I always love writing, and I hope that's what you were both looking for with your prompts. As for everyone else thank you so much for reading and I hope you guys enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.**_


	138. Isn't it Obvious?

_**A/N: A while back a reader requested some Neverland smut. I've thought long and hard about how to write this chapter and I decided to just write a whole extra scene that would take place between their finding Neal again and rescuing Henry if they had a few more days. They never would have included this in the show (and I'm not letting them go all the way), but you know what, sometimes you just need some gratuitous cannon-divergent smuff. Set to the song 'Obvious' by Hollyn.**_

 _Just a few more minutes. Hold it together just a little bit longer_.

Emma kept the silent chant in the forefront of her brain, clinging it to like a life raft in the midst of this sea of despair. On the outside she was completely controlled, stony, competent, and sure of herself. But internally Emma had been sinking for a while now. There was only so much strength she could conjure, and only so much time she could withstand at this crazed pace before caving to the negativity all around her.

Oh she had hope that she would find Henry. There was nothing in the world that was going to keep Emma from her son, and she would give everything she had to rescue him from Pan, but it was the waiting and the continued 'so close' moments that made her feel frayed and exposed. Her whole life had been a lesson in never dreaming too big or expecting happy resolutions, but for Henry's sake she was trying. God was she trying.

"You took first watch last time, Emma. You should sleep now," her mother said and Emma wiped her hands against her pants as she stood up from the forest floor where they were all making camp.

"I will. I just have to check something. I'll be back."

Pulling away from the encampment they'd set up for the night, Emma heard the low murmurings of everyone getting ready for the evening. They all knew that to be in top shape for saving Henry they did need to rest, but sleep would never come easy here, just like it never came easy in all the other horrible places Emma had suffered through in her life.

When she was far enough away and out of sight from the others, Emma finally allowed herself to give into the bevy of emotions that were plaguing her. She wouldn't truly let go, otherwise Emma was afraid of what might happen, but her hands shook and her breathing grew a bit more rapid. She reached out for a branch beside her and came down on a rock to sit, letting the emotions wash over her. It was a panic attack, plain and simple, and it had been fighting for release since the moment she found out her son had been taken to this terrible island.

As if that weren't bad enough, Emma could feel just beneath the fear this surging rage. She was so angry, so incredibly pissed off that Pan thought he could fuck with her and her family. He wanted Henry for some obviously nefarious plan, and not only was he stringing them all along, he was throwing old ghosts and demons from her past back to the forefront. She had to admit she was an orphan and that sucked, then she had to face Neal and tell him that she wished he was dead, which wasn't exactly a walk in the park. Now she was recreating those moments she'd had as a teen when the reality of just how alone and unwanted she was bore down on her. She might not be alone anymore physically, but it felt like that. No one understood her even if they respected her plans. No one except for…

"Are you alright, Swan?" Hook asked, causing Emma to jump off the boulder and her hand to fly to her chest. Her heart was beating rapidly and she couldn't remember the last time someone had successfully snuck up her like that.

"Hook! Are you crazy? You almost gave me a heart attack," Emma barely kept her voice quiet enough not to alert the others.

"Apologies, love. You just seem… understandably plighted tonight."

His words were at once a comfort and still so strange. He was always walking around with the accent and the flirting and the elevated language, but now he was serious, and as much as it pained Emma to admit it, she was soothed by not only his phrasing, but by his instinct to ask. What was it about this guy that gave him this sort of insight into her personally? And what did it say about Emma that she didn't actively hate it?

"I'm fine," Emma responded, clamming up and letting her walls rise back into place.

"You're _not_ fine, Emma, and there's no reason to pretend otherwise. I know what you're trying to do," he claimed, stepping towards her and filling her with another hum of energy that came every time he got this close.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Emma countered, willing herself not to look away even though his eyes held this power over her that made her say things she'd meant to keep close to the vest.

"You think that if you let yourself feel anything - that if you let yourself be human in this moment - you're somehow letting everyone down. But damn everyone else: what do _you_ need?"

"I need to get Henry back," Emma whispered and Hook nodded sympathetically.

"And you _will_. But to get to your boy, you have to be at your best. You have to give yourself a chance, Emma. You aren't sleeping, you aren't eating, you're second guessing yourself, so say what you need to say and then move on," Hook implored, his hand looking for a moment like it was going to reach for hers before he held himself back.

"What makes you think I'd want to say whatever it is you think I need to say to you?" Emma almost winced when those words came bumbling out. She sounded ridiculous and overly defensive, but Hook weathered her terse words.

"I don't believe that you do, but I have a hunch I might be the best of some bad options in your view." Hook's self-deprecation shouldn't have affected Emma so much but it did. She felt bad for making him think she didn't appreciate the effort. It wasn't his fault she was too messed up to talk about her feelings.

"Moments like this are usually easier with alcohol," Emma joked, not expecting him to reach for his flask so willingly though she probably should have.

"Indeed they are," he said, offering her the metal container of rum. She took a swig, and felt the burn on her tongue, but when it began to fade, and her eyes connected with Hook's again, she remembered the last time she'd shared a drink with him and that kiss that followed.

God that freaking kiss! As if things weren't already messy enough, she'd had a moment where she allowed herself to give into the intrigue that she'd been feeling with this infuriating man far too long. She told Mary Margaret that she'd done it because she was 'feeling good' but honestly, that kiss was the reviving element in her day. Getting a message to Henry was amazing, and it filled her with hope, but the taste of Hook's lips on hers… well that had given her the one fleeting moment she had to this point where she couldn't conjure a single worry to spare.

"So… what's plaguing your thoughts at the moment, love?" Hook asked when he'd taken a drink himself and put the flask away.

"Isn't it obvious? We're on this stupid island running in circles, chasing after a demonic teenager. My son is missing, and every extra day it takes to get to him he's more at risk for something terrible happening. This place is booby trapped like it's nobody's business, and to top it off, I just rescued a man who I thought was _finally_ in my past where he belongs with the help of…"

Emma's voice trailed off at that, holding back the words that her instincts had guided her towards. She was going to say 'with the help of a guy I can't get out of my freaking head even though he's a fictional character and he's infuriatingly cocky and the last thing I need in my life is to be interested in _any_ man' but that that didn't seem appropriate. But before she could fill in the blanks, Hook did some of that himself.

"A pirate," Hook finished, and the sound of defeat in his voice actually inflicted pain in Emma's chest. She hadn't even realized that was possible. She was too amped to feel anything right now, but seeing Hook mistake her meaning managed to cut through the fog of fear and worry that had been clinging to her.

"I was going to say another guy who makes my already messed up world more complicated," Emma finally said, giving herself away in the process. Meanwhile Hook was too obtuse to take her meaning yet again.

"All I'm trying to do is help, Emma."

"I know and that's the problem! You're here helping me and understanding me when everyone else doesn't get it. But I shouldn't be thinking about _hooking up_ with Captain Hook. I have way too much on my plate right now."

The silence that settled between them was heavy and Emma closed her eyes, wondering why the hell she'd just prattled on like that. Clearly she was into self-sabotage because she'd just made an already tricky situation into something even more bungled and ridiculous. What was it about this guy that had her giving more of herself away? She'd worked hard to make herself unreadable to everyone, but with Hook that skill never seemed to hold. He had this crazy way of sneaking past her defenses.

"I don't know that term explicitly, Swan, but I take it from your frustration that you're hinting at that kiss we shared not being a one time thing like you said." Emma wanted to rebuff the sentiment and say he was wrong (even if that was a lie), but he continued on without letting her speak. "But therein might be the answer. You need a distraction, Emma, even if it's just for a moment, and while I won't take advantage of you when you're clearly in distress, I will do my best to give you what you want, whatever that may be."

"And if I told you to leave?" Emma asked, knowing that wasn't what she wanted even if her head told her she should. It wasn't smart to get tangled up in any man, never mind a centuries old pirate with a rum fixation and an accent that made her a little weak in the knees.

"Then I would go as bidden, love. Yet something tells me that isn't what your heart desires…" Hook's words hung in the air between them as he stepped closer and Emma instinctively closed the distance, pulling him down with the same fierceness that she had a few days back.

His kiss was just as intoxicating as she remembered, only this time it wasn't some kind of challenge, it was an attempt to feel something other than the numbing sense of defeat and helplessness this island kept bestowing on her. As soon as their lips met, Emma found what she'd been looking for, a reprieve from that darkness and a resurgence of the hope and good feelings the other kiss had brought. When they deepened the kiss and Emma got a better taste of him, Emma groaned against him. How could something this reckless feel so good? And how could she be seeking this out when the world was in chaos around her?

But Hook didn't let Emma linger in those worries, because his sense of demand and control was on display with so much more prominence than it had been their last time doing this. Where she'd been trying to dazzle him before, he was the one holding the reins now, playing her every desire with a finesse that left her breathless. The feeling of his hand and hook roaming and pulling her against him set the fire in her burning hotter, and when he pushed her up against one of the huge trees out here in the forest shielding them further from the direction of camp, Emma gasped but held tighter to him.

"I need-," Emma's voice broke, her mind a frazzled mess of sensations she couldn't verbalize. There was just too much going on, the world was too noisy, and she needed any kind of release from it. Hook understood though, and instead of making her vocalize that she needed him, he had mercy on her.

"I know what you need, love, and I intend to give it to you, but only if you understand one thing."

Emma blinked through the cloud of lust that had settled over her and saw that the sincerity in Hook's blue eyes had returned. Sometimes he'd looked at her this way before, like she was something special when she felt like anything but. The unspoken faith in her that he seemed to always carry was so prominent, as was something Emma valued more than almost anything – truth.

"Needing this doesn't make you guilty of anything. You've the weight of the world on your shoulders right now and taking the edge off when faced with a burden like that is natural, no matter what that brilliant mind of yours might think." 

Emma didn't know what to say to that. It was like he'd read her worries word for word, and in his saying this, in his assuring her that it was okay for her not to be the fearless leader and the independent, competent savior for a moment, Emma felt the last bit of unease she carried slip away. The only problem she had with his words was that he cut himself short in his assessment. After all, it wasn't just anything or anyone that could take all this pain away – it was him.

When she gave a slight nod, Hook closed the space between them again, grounding his hard body against hers and making Emma's desire rise. Even with all these layers between them the movement felt illicit and forbidden and ridiculously hot and she felt his warm breath move to the hollow of her throat as his kisses trailed there, rough and yet sweet enough not to leave a mark come morning.

Closing her eyes and giving way to these sensations was dangerous. They were still close to camp, still on an island run by a never-aging tyrant, but there wasn't space for that here. All Emma could soak in was the scent of leather and rum, and the rough scratch of Killian's beard against her skin. _Damn_ he was good at this – so breathtakingly good and she was too far gone to do anything but pull him closer and pray for more.

Emma wanted a different situation for both of them. She wanted less open space and less terrible circumstances. Honestly she couldn't recall ever wanting the chance to explore something with someone so damn much, but those thoughts evaporated when with his one hand, Killian unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them lower down her hips. His hand slipped inside and past the fabric underneath to find her waiting sex and the only hope she had of keeping quiet enough for them not to be found was to bring him back to kiss him like her life depended on it.

 _This is so wrong! This is so totally… right, God yes, right there._

It should never have been so easy for anyone to get her this hot and bothered, and after years of having to work so hard for even a taste of satisfaction with others, Emma was floored by how quickly she was teetering at the edge. The mastery Killian displayed was unfair, and it felt like she didn't even have time to think about evening the playing field. His calloused fingers slipping inside of her as his thumb brushed her clit was set to the perfect rhythm to have her falling off the edge and to send all those dark thoughts and feelings of despair into the void.

Despite the kiss, Emma still managed to curse aloud in a sound that was slightly more than a whisper, and though her eyes were closed from that fantastic (and much needed) release, she could feel Hook watching her. When her eyes lazily opened she was proved right, and the look in his fiery gaze was even more than all the others he had sent his way. For the first time she felt like she could see him just as vividly as he saw her and it was simultaneously frightening and freeing. There was no denying that he felt more than a passing fancy for her. These feelings he was grappling with were big, and they spoke to the ones she'd been trying to shove to the side for a while now too.

In the face of this release and the silent promises in Hook's gaze, Emma was breathless, but she did feel that tightness that had clung to her for days ebbing away. Her body had succumbed to something she'd denied wanting vehemently for weeks now, and now she finally had a semblance of peace. It wasn't permanent by any means, and even now Emma knew there was so much yet to do, but that crackle of anxiety that had been plaguing her was quiet for the first time in so long.

"Bloody hell," Hook said and Emma couldn't help but smile widely at that even as she felt a blush creeping across her cheeks. Oh god she was in so much trouble. She did _not_ blush and she definitely didn't care this much about anyone she let get close to her this way, but her usual walls weren't locking into place, not when he looked just as bewildered as she felt.

Wordlessly she kissed him again, this time with less of that unrestrained passion and more with the intent of thanking him and showing him how much she appreciated him. It was soft and patient, but even though she'd just found release, the press of his lips on hers again was enough to spark something more in Emma. She knew this wasn't over between them, yet Killian pulled back from the kiss, having buttoned her jeans up again without her even realizing. Then he stepped back and moved to rejoin the camp.

"Wait, that's it?" Emma asked after him, not believing he could walk away after that little taste, and Hook turned around with a smile on his face. It had that cockiness she'd grown to actually like despite everything, but underneath it there was more than mere victory. He looked… happy actually and Emma knew she was the one who'd given him that, causing her still racing heart to skip a beat.

"Not by a long shot, love. But rest assured that when I have you it won't be in this hellish place. When I have you it will mean something."

Emma was tempted to admit that it _had_ meant something. Sure there was the clear sexual chemistry element between them, but it was more than that. She'd been fending it off for a long time now, but with every passing day Hook was showing her more of himself and the man beneath the leather and swagger, while dangerous to her vows to keep people at arms length, was important to her. Somehow he'd managed to make himself matter, and though Emma wasn't ready to say that, she knew someday she would. Her gut was loud and clear on this – Killian Jones might not have been expected, but he was a part of her life now and from the look in his eyes and the promises he'd made about winning her heart, he had no intentions of leaving her like everyone else always had.

"Killian?" Emma said as he'd turned again and the light in his eyes when she used his first name proved her instinct to move away from his more colorful moniker right.

"Aye love?" he asked, his voice a little more horse than it had just been and sounding out in the space between them with a reverberating hope.

"Thank you. For everything."

Hard as Emma thought it would be to say, those words of gratitude were actually easy to form, and though Killian smirked at the thought of her thanking him for an orgasm, he clearly understood her. Emma was more so thanking him for being there and being on her side, and for helping her believe that he'd continue to be there whenever she needed him. He might not know her whole story, and Emma might not be even close to sharing it with him, but he'd managed to do something no other guy had done before him – he managed to prove to her that he was putting her first ahead of his own self-interests.

"I'll take the first watch Swan, and see to it that the others cover after me. You should try and get some rest."

Emma nodded, and heeded his advice, finding that it was so much easier to give way to her fatigue tonight than it had been in day's past. And in the end Killian was right – in the light of the next morning, the path before them to getting Henry and escaping Pan's kingdom was far clearer, and luckily they managed to do just that and get back to Storybrooke all together and in one piece.

….

 _I just want to talk to ya_

 _But I know you're in a, in a pretty rough place_

 _And I just wanna walk with ya_

 _But I always wanna, wanna give you your space_

 _I know where you're standin'_

 _I can't help you, if you don't let your walls fall down_

 _Let your walls fall down_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Take off your shades, look me in the face_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Don't you know what you're missin?_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Ob-obvious_

 _I can feel it, when you talk to me_

 _Behind the walls you built_

 _I feel your pain, this ain't a game_

 _But this ain't the end of the world_

 _I can't help you, if you don't let your walls fall down_

 _Just let those walls fall down_

 _You're running around in circles_

 _Yeah you're running around in circles_

 _I don't think this is working_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Take off your shades, look me in the face_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Let's make it plain, there ain't no shame here_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Just give me a minute, I wanna listen_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Don't you know what you're missin?_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Ob-obvious_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Ob-obvious_

 _I know that it's hard_

 _What you're doing to yourself_

 _You're locked in these bars_

 _But these prison walls are fallin'_

 _I'm standing arms wide open_

 _I'm standing waiting for ya_

 _Come runnin'_

 _You can be free if you want to_

 _But you keep running around in circles_

 _Yeah, you're running around in circles_

 _I don't think this is working_

 _Isn't it obvious? (ob-obvious)_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Lose the disguise, look me in the eyes_

 _Ob-obvious_

 _Let's make it plain, there ain't no shame_

 _Isn't it obvious?_

 _Just give me a minute, I want to listen (ob-obvious)_

 _Don't you know what you're missin'?_

 _Can you see it in the distance?_

 _If you'd turn around you would see_

 _Don't you know what you're missin'?_

 _Can you see it in the distance?_

 _Don't you know what you're missin'?_

 _If you'd turn around you would see_

 _Don't you know what you're missin'?_

 _Can you see it in the distance?_

 _ **Post-Note: It always feels good to get one of my prompted songs out there and completed not just because my readers have given me the chance to explore more CS fluff in varying ways, but because your ideas then help inspire other fic ideas for me too. So I have to say thank you so my lovely reader who asked for this, because even if it was unrelated to my other fics, you did help me get through some of my writer's block I was facing today. Anyway thank you all so much for reading and if you are still waiting on your prompt/song request no worries – there is definitely more to come for this mixtape!**_


	139. Blue Eyes

_**A/N: Scene rewrite that creates some dialogue when Emma and Killian are dancing in Camelot (episode 5x02) and conveniently ends before Robin gets hurt and everything goes to shit. Inspired by a reader request for 'Blue Eyes' by The Cary Brothers.**_

Since the moment she'd shown up in Camelot, Emma had been struggling. Struggling to control her newfound urges to use black magic. Struggling to keep Rumplestilskin out of her thoughts. Struggling to act the way everyone needed her to so they all didn't worry too much about her being on the edge of darkness.

It was an impossible balancing act, and Emma's mind was being pulled in a million different directions. There was the side of her that was a devoted mother and that would give anything to spare her son and family from feeling any pain on her behalf, and then there was the new, ugly residue that darkness bestowed upon her. Rumplestilskin was only the tip of the iceberg and the voices in her head were loud and angry, taunting and tempting all in one. But for the moment she was treading water and keeping her head above it all. For the moment Emma was holding on in the hopes of finding a way out of this mess and back home where she belonged.

There was one person in this ballroom right now, one person in the world really, who provided her with most of that hope. He was the only person who wasn't constantly looking at her with pity and regret and his understanding and unyielding faith in her was a power greater than the voices in her head. Killian was still here, still seeing her as Emma and not the product of a sacrifice she'd willingly made. Just as he'd always seen her as more than the savior, he saw her now as more than someone that was a liability or tainted goods.

Yes he was worried, yes Emma could see that fear deep in his heart, but it wasn't of her: It was of letting her down. Killian hadn't wanted this ball at all, urging everyone to forget such a scheme and to focus all of their efforts on helping her, but now, as Emma descended the staircase to the sound of some royal crier announcing her name, she saw his hesitations disappear. There was the man she loved, looking at her with his blue eyes the way he always did – with love and trust and so much joy it made her heart skip a beat.

 _Breathe, Emma._ She counseled herself internally. _Just one foot in front of the other._

It was easier said than done since all eyes were on her and her mother and she was never going to be fully comfortable in a fairy tale world donning a gown like this, but Emma powered through, guided by Killian's gentle smile and how handsome he looked. He stood there beside her father, looking every bit the pirate in a sea of noble people and she loved that. He wasn't pretending to be anything he wasn't; he was just Killian Jones, a pirate, a hero, and a man who loved her with everything in him.

The response she had to Killian in this moment was dizzying, and though her body had felt mired down by a slowly descending despair since appearing in this land, Emma couldn't feel anything but lightness now. The sun had set long ago but it felt like it was shining for the first time since everything had happened, and the moment Emma made it down the stairs and took his hand, she felt freed from so many of the troubles she was facing.

"Swan, you look…" Killian began, failing to find words when he so often had the best ones waiting for her.

"I know," she countered, recalling another bright moment from their past. This was a mirroring in a way of their first date, where she had been a little speechless and he had been the cocky charming one. Now Emma clung to this sense of fun and humor and the butterflies fluttering through her. Only moments ago it hadn't felt like there was space for such thoughts in her life, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe she could be strong enough to fend all of this off if she had Killian to hold onto.

They waited for a moment then as Regina was presented as savior to secure their charade here in Camelot, and as Henry's other mother made her way to be honored by the royals of this realm, Killian grumbled out a gruff assessment of the situation before them.

"If you ask me, the Queen is enjoying this just a bit too much."

Emma smiled despite herself, not because she disagreed with Killian. If anything she thought he was right – there was a part of Regina that fed off the attention and was probably enjoying being celebrated in a ballroom like this instead of actively feared and hated. But Emma's smile was more because of him and his continued protectiveness than anything else. Killian always said what was on his mind, especially when he thought Emma might be doubting herself in any way.

"Maybe so. But think of it this way: now you can spin me around the room with less people staring. Who knows? We might even be able to sneak a moment alone."

Emma's words were purposefully chosen to rile him up, and she delighted in the moment where Killian's body tensed. He was so predictable in some ways, falling into her flirtation so quickly, but it made Emma feel powerful and sure of herself. Killian was undeniably attached to her, and it was nice not having to wonder where they stood. Now she knew, and before Emma had been dragged away into the darkness she'd told him too. This was love, and even if there were a lot of problematic elements in their lives right now, for tonight at least they could linger in that and let the rest of the world fade away.

Soon enough the dancing commenced and Killian pulled her into the fray of the other people milling about the space. The music was familiar to the dances they had during their stint in the past, and with the help of her partner, and her own past experience, Emma felt herself easily moving through all the steps and through every twirl and curtsy. But the best part wasn't the fairytale-like setting or the spinning around in her favorite pirate's arms, it was the way Killian continuously engaged her, making her laugh and smile and hope even in the midst of so much going on.

"What do you think it says about us that all our dances come in moments of great trial?" Killian asked at one point and Emma chuckled, letting that serene feeling that laughter could bring wash over her.

"I think it says we live a little more dangerously than most people. But the future has to hold _some_ dances that don't feel quite so life and death. We have to have hit our quota for moments like these."

She expected Killian to laugh at her quip, but instead she watched as an intensity that hadn't just been there came to his expression. He wasn't angry in any way, but he also wasn't laughing which concerned Emma. Had she done something wrong?

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked quietly, feeling the creeping of a blush upon her face.

"Do you see a great many dances together in our future, Emma?" He asked, and now Emma understood his response. Emma wasn't exactly the biggest planner and this hint at more longevity and continued romance for them when all of this was done was still new to their relationship. She wanted to give him comfort and to confirm that they were permanent and not going anywhere, but Emma also wondered if this was the right time for grand declarations. In the end she decided to go with some humor that held an underlying truth.

"If you play your cards right, yes. I can see more than a few for us to come," Emma countered, trying and succeeding this time to lighten the mood.

Killian used her shift in tone to his advantage, however, twirling her around in an unexpected spin that made Emma laugh loud enough to draw attention from her parents and Henry. She only glanced their way for a second (and part of her wondered at the girl by Henry's side), but she could see that Killian's calming her was calming all of them too. Emma appreciated that more than she could say, but then she focused again as her fingers traced his outstretched hook and she tried to keep her footing. The last thing she wanted was to spoil the moment with the reappearance of her two left feet.

"You truly are remarkable, Swan," Killian finally said when that set had ended and another began and Emma beamed at him, loving and accepting the compliment. She'd fought off his advances for so long and in the beginning she'd found herself rejecting his praise and reasoning that he couldn't really mean it, but the truth of his feelings was so clearly on display here for everyone to see that she had no choice but to take it as fact.

"My dancing really impresses you that much, huh?"

"It's more than that, love, as you well know. It's everything. You've always been the strongest person in the room – hell you're the stronger person I've ever known – but you never cease to amaze me in just how much you'll overcome."

Hearing words like that were bittersweet in a way. Honestly Emma didn't feel particularly tough, and more often than not she was terrified that with one wrong move she'd fall off the edge and become that darkness she'd sworn to fight against. But knowing that Killian saw her this way helped, and there was a difference between his acknowledging her perseverance and the pressure everyone else was putting on her. Killian would never fault Emma for stumbling on her way to being rid of this. He'd just continue to stand here beside her with his hand in hers, helping her stay in the light.

"It's easy to be strong when you aren't alone," Emma admitted.

Emma's eyes watched Killian's cerulean ones go slightly darker. They still held all the same warmth and affection, but the hint that they were in this together had added an extra layer of sincerity. Emma noticed in all the times they'd been a couple that Killian wanted nothing more than to be tied to her, to belong to her and in this sphere of people who meant the world to her. He was looking for home and he found it in her, just as she was beginning to find room in her world for a certain charming Captain.

"You'll never have to be alone again, love. I can promise you that."

The sweetness of his words was a balm for the meanness that swirled inside of Emma. It fully silenced the dueling parts of light and dark within her, and left just her and Killian in a room Emma rationally knew was filled with people. She stopped her movements, forgetting the dance and their audience all together, and watched as her intentions dawned on the handsome man before her. Then Emma pulled Killian in for a kiss by the familiar leather collar and felt her world click back into place.

When their lips met the full effect of his power over her (or really their power over each other) was realized and Emma rejoiced in that feeling of rightness that had alluded her since leaving Storybrooke. This was something she'd missed and something she needed. It was a beautiful reminder of what she still had, Dark One or not, and it also cemented the fact that the two of them together made a real magic no darkness could overtake.

But even if this moment was pretty close to perfect, it surely had to end, especially when Emma and Killian were being watched by her parents and her son. Emma honestly didn't know which sound pulled her out of the kiss. It could have been her father's grumblings, her mother's sounds of thrilled appreciation, or Henry's teenage annoyance at seeing his mother make out with someone, but when she pulled back from Killian she found herself laughing again. It was absurd, but here in a ballroom in Camelot, things almost felt – dare she say it? – normal.

"Perhaps we should return to dancing, Swan… just for the time being."

The innuendo in Killian's voice that hinted at their having more together later made Emma shiver, but she knew he was right. For now they'd just have to wait, but at least Emma knew that she had everything to keep fighting for and a surefire weapon against the darkness battling for her heart. And it might not be tomorrow or the next day when she found answers, but Emma knew that she would. They were all going to win in the fight for her heart, and then they were all going to go home and get that happily ever after they'd been promised.

…..

 _Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie_

 _Window broke, torn up screens_

 _Who'd have thought that you'd dream_

 _Of a single tragic scene_

 _I just want to sing a song with you_

 _I just want to take it off of you_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _You are all that I need_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _You're the sweet to my mean_

 _Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand_

 _I can help you to stand_

 _Saved it up for this dance_

 _Tell me all the things you can_

 _I just want to sing a song with you_

 _I just want to be the one that's true_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _You're the secret I keep_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _All the lights on and you are alive_

 _But you can't point the way to your heart_

 _So sublime, when the stars are aligned_

 _But you don't know_

 _You don't know the greatness you are_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _You are destiny's scene_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _I just want to be the one_

 _I just want to sing a song with you_

 _I just want to get it on with you_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _You're the secret I keep_

 _'Cause Blue Eyes_

 _I just want to sing a song with you_

 _I just want to sing a song with you_

 _I just want to sing a song with you_

 _ **Post-Note: It's always so hard for me to decide which story arcs are my favorite, but when it came to 5B I had so much I liked, and yet also so many moments I wish there was just a little more detail for. The ball was one of them, and so this was a shameless attempt on my part to rewrite a scene I thought could have been fluffier. But I should also say thank you the reader who requested this song a long while back, and to all of you who have also sent requests my way I appreciate it! You've all given me the chance to see this mixtape continue on and on and that's an awesome feeling for me as a writer. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed and thank you guys so much for reading!**_


	140. Start of Time

_**A/N: Hey all. So this is a song I've wanted to add for a long time to the mixtape but thanks to a recent request for it, a spark of inspiration struck. It's another future CS chapter where Emma is worrying about the future and Killian comforts her with his usual charms. Might include a baby on the way (totally includes said baby on the way). Inspired by the song 'Start of Time' by Gabrielle Aplin.**_

As a kid, Emma never found any real comfort in staring at the sea. Where some people saw this vast horizon with limitless possibilities, Emma had only seen a reminder of how small and inconsequential she was. It was almost jarring back then, to be so alone in such a big world, but time had shifted her perceptions on these cold, blue waters.

Now Emma found herself out by the docks more and more and while it was partially the salty air and the crisp breeze that kept her coming, there was always the added bonus of this place being meaningful to Killian. He'd inadvertently led her to love the sea and ever since the year away in New York (when she didn't even remember him) Emma would find herself looking out to the horizon and trying to make sense of whatever it was plaguing her.

Sometimes she found answers and sometimes she didn't, but Emma always left a little calmer than when she'd arrived, and since coming back to Storybrooke it was rare for Emma to leave these docks alone. Nine times out of ten Killian would somehow sense that she was here and he'd find her, guiding her wayward heart back home again.

Tonight she sensed Killian's presence before he so much as said a word, and she felt that subtle change in the air around her right before the wind shifted and she caught the scent of leather and just the tiniest bit of rum. He'd been easing off of his favorite drink for a while now, but Emma would bet he still had that flask on him tonight, and that his hope in carrying it would be to bring her comfort. She didn't need it though, not when she had him.

"You're restless tonight, Swan," Killian finally said when he was standing just beside her. Emma cast her gaze from the pale of the moon on the sea to him.

It struck Emma in that moment just how similar Killian's eyes were to the sight before them. That deep blue with just a hint of light, all of it aimed at her with an intensity that was breathtaking, mirrored the depths of the sea on this clear, quiet night. But where the ocean had failed to give Emma everything she was looking for, Killian never let her down. He made a million promises, all of them good and pure and wonderful with those kind, caring eyes of his and it caused Emma's heart to skip a beat almost painfully, but she loved it. Knowing how Killian felt about her, and seeing his clear devotion was a sense of calm for her, more soothing than any waves upon the shore could ever hope to be.

"What gave me away?" Emma joked, accepting his outstretched hand and moving closer to him, appreciating his warmth with the briskness of the coast so prevalent tonight.

"A great many things, none of them more so than the fact that you left half of your grilled cheese untouched."

Killian's words were light and airy, avoiding anything too deep right off the bat for her sake and Emma closed her eyes and leaned her head against his shoulder. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to have this man, this man who knew her fully, who saw all the baggage that she still carried and weathered every storm. Killian was it for her and that was honestly one of the only things that wasn't troubling her mind tonight. Killian was her constant, and it was his assured presence and his unyielding want for her that let Emma feel safe enough to speak the truth.

"I feel like everything's happening so fast. Yesterday Henry was knocking at my door trying to lure me back to Storybrooke and then it's like I blinked and we were here. I found my parents, I broke a curse – or well, a bunch of curses actually – I found you…"

Killian smiled at that part, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss gently before pulling Emma further into his arms, shielding her from the wind that was whipping lightly all around them. This, right here, was her favorite place in the world. The place where she felt safest and like nothing could touch her.

"I have to say I'm rather fond of that last part especially," Killian said and Emma rolled her eyes, feeling better already.

"Yeah I kind of picked up on that when you married me," Emma replied, feeling the happy hum that her husband let out into the night air at the reminder. Emma saw the same pride and joy in his expression now as she had months ago when they said 'I do' and she knew instinctively it as never going away. When love was true like this, the magic stayed, and Emma was so grateful. So why couldn't she just let all of this anxiety go?

"But the passing of time still worries you," Killian acknowledged, bringing her back around to her confession. Emma nodded, but took it further, laying it all out there.

"Exactly! Is it crazy for me to feel like it's not enough? We stood up in front of everyone and promised forever, but do we really get that? Part of me wants to start all over again. I want to yell at my past self for pushing back so much. I think of all the time I wasted being scared, and then I realize that the fear is still winning. We could be home, enjoying our night alone right now but I'm stalking the moors like some sort of banshee dreading a non-issue."

Killian's laugh at that was loud and rich and wonderful, sounding out above everything else and running through Emma as a perfect kind of buzz. It was impossible for her not to smile when he laughed that way, and okay yeah, she could admit she was being dramatic. But even if it was hyperbole, a part of her fears were real and she didn't see a way to combat them or let them go.

"Forgive me, love. I didn't mean to laugh at your worries, you just have this way with words that gets me every time."

Emma mumbled under her breath about how it was all the time with a certain pirate that had made her so colorful. She used to be totally normal and never compared herself to random, dated spirits, but this was her life now, fighting bad guys and living her life with a guy from another time and place who was somehow designed to find her and love her. But then his hand came up to cup her cheek and Emma's whole body stilled, waiting eagerly to hear what he'd say.

"Truth is that I would give anything in the world to ease your burdens, Emma, but I haven't an answer for this one. Take it from someone who fought this for years: Time will pass, things will change, life will go on one way or another. We can't go back – but we _can_ look forward. We can savor every moment that we have and fight long and hard for more of them."

Very few people in her life had the power to calm Emma the way that her husband could, and standing out there on the docks right now she felt the anxieties that were gripping at her falling away. Killian always had the right words, but more than that he made these silent vows over and over again just from the look in his eyes. He loved her, and he cared for her more than anyone or anything else in this world. He would always protect her and do his best to see her happy, so why was she worrying? She was desperate for more time, but she had right now and that was so much more than she'd ever expected.

When her hand absent-mindedly moved to cover her stomach, she was reminded of why these old worries were made new. Emma and Killian were on a new journey now, one Emma had suspected for a few weeks but only had confirmed today. She was so happy when she first got the news. She was pregnant, and that meant she and Killian were going to have a child and grow this family they both loved so much. But then there were a thousand things left to do today and there was never a free moment to tell him.

Emma had a ton of work at the station that still needed doing after her appointment with the doctor, huge news or not. Then they had dinner with Henry and her parents and brother, and just when Emma thought she'd finally get Killian alone, her Dad asked him to help with something at the loft and Emma was left alone and questioning herself. Now, however, she wasn't questioning. Instead she was luxuriating in the undeniable fact of her husband's love for her and trying to find the perfect way to break this news to him.

"How do you always find the right words to say?" Emma asked, breathing him and holding him close as he pulled her in for a warm embrace.

"Practice," Killian joked and Emma laughed, feeling the reverberations of his chuckle as he gave way to his own jesting. "But truly I speak from the heart, love. You make it very easy to promise such things."

Emma doubted that she could ever be described as an easy person to love and to choose. She had a lot of old scars from the life she'd led, had put up a hell of a fight against a happy ending, and was still prone to moments like this when she let her doubts creep back in. But if there was one person in the world who could see the real her and cling to the best parts of what made Emma the person that she was, it was Killian. He'd always had that gift, and Emma knew he'd always give that same beautiful attention to this child when the day to meet him or her finally came.

"Tell me more about the moments. The ones we are fighting for," Emma requested, pulling back to gaze up at him again and seeing even in the dark of the night the slight flush that grazed his cheeks.

"Ah. Well I was thinking we'd linger in these ones we have now a little longer… being newly weds hasn't been half bad," Killian said with a smile and Emma grinned in response.

"I think we've been through worse," she teased and Killian growled at that, pulling her closer as his hand came back up to move some of her hair that was whipped up from the breeze along the shoreline.

"Then there's those potential children you mentioned," Killian offered and Emma bit her lip, thinking he'd see the truth in her eyes right now.

"Of course," Emma replied and though Killian's features caught her change in demeanor he continued on.

"And finally I foresee a good many years of us continuing to fight the forces of evil. A hero's work is never done, and I would spend every moment fending the threats to our family off if it meant doing it with you, Emma. Though I like to think we've got many more bright spots ahead than dark ones, and a long life to live together side by side." Emma hoped he was right, and she did believe underneath it all that he was. Still she sided with a joke in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"That should be fun. Balancing a bigger family and a bunch of bad guys trying to terrorize the town. What could go wrong?" Killian sobered some, not responding with a laugh as she'd expected.

"Nothing, Emma, at least nothing we can't overcome. I promise you that even in the worst of times we won't know true defeat. We'll have each other, and keep this family safe. You have my word on that."

And there it was, her perfect in to tell him that they might be tested in that way sooner than they thought. Emma moved her hand to take his and kissed it gently, watching the way Killian's whole expression warmed. This was usually his move, but right now she could steal a little of his romance to heighten the good news.

"And what if I told you that soon there will be a new addition to the Jones clan to keep safe?" Emma asked, her voice breathier than it had been just a moment ago. She watched Killian's eyes widen and his surprise appear so vividly, but then it melted into this form of joy she'd only seen matched on their wedding day. The sight of it brought tears to her eyes of pure, unadulterated relief.

"You mean…"

"Yeah. I'm pregnant. Or we're pregnant? I don't know what it is people say but-,"

Emma's words died on her lips when Killian pulled her into him and physically swept her off her feet, twirling her around in the air happily. Emma made a sound of surprise that faded to delight and she grinned at Killian's response and then subsequent freak out. He seemed to have lost himself for a second there, and now it was his turn to worry, his hand coming to run through his hair and his hook waving about in alarm.

"Oh Gods, the baby! Swan, what have I done?"

Emma pulled him down by the collar to kiss that idea right out of his mind and to try and show Killian before telling him just how much she'd appreciated the gesture. She loved his honesty and his passion. They were things that had scared her once upon a time but now they were the foundations of this marriage. They were two of the building blocks needed to make Emma and Killian work as well as they did, and she didn't want Killian to tamp them down. Instead she wanted more of them not just for her but with their future kids as well.

"You've done nothing but choose me and make me happy, Killian. I love you so much, and I could never want this with anyone but you. You made me believe this was possible, and now you're going to be as great a father as you are a husband," Emma confessed. Killian replied with some mistiness in his eyes that he loved her as well and pulled her in for another kiss. This time when they pulled away, however, there was something he seemed to want to say, but was holding back.

"What's that look about?" Emma asked, seeing something floating in her husband's eyes just under the surface.

"Nothing, love," Killian replied but Emma raised a brow at him waiting for an answer and he caved slightly. "I just had one of those thoughts you often roll your eyes at. I figured I'd spare us both that moment on this happy occasion."

"Let me guess. Something about me having a little pirate in me after all?" Killian grinned and Emma shook her head smiling all the same. He was so totally predictable, but damn if it didn't set off this happy little flutter in her chest. "Yeah I thought of that too. Just don't make that joke to my Dad. Not sure how great that one will fly."

And after procuring a promise from Killian that he'd keep the raunchier jokes about this baby on the way from her parents, Emma _poofed_ them both back home where they could celebrate their good news properly, and prepare for this next exciting chapter in the story of their love.

…..

 _Oh today I'm just a drop of water  
And I'm running down a mountainside  
Come tomorrow I'll be in the ocean  
I'll be rising with the morning tide_

 _There's a ghost upon the moor tonight  
Now it's in our house  
When you walked into the room just then  
It's like the sun came out_

 _I'm an atom in a sea of nothing  
Looking for another to combine  
Maybe we could be the start of something  
Be together at the start of time_

 _There's a ghost upon the moor tonight  
Now it's in our house  
When you walked into the room just then  
It's like the sun came out  
It's like the sun came out_

 _And the day is clear  
My voice is just a whisper  
Louder than the screams you hear  
It's like the sun came out (x5)_

 _ **Post-Note: So first off thanks to the reader who requested this song, and for any of you who haven't heard it, definitely check it out. I made this chapter slightly lighter than the song might hint at, but that's just a side affect of my constant need for fluff. Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you have a great rest of your day!**_


	141. Womanizer

_**A/N: Scene rewrite from Emma's POV of the moments where she has to get the other Hook drunk (3x21). May or may not include an added scene where Killian and Emma confront each other on her kissing past Hook… Inspired by a reader request for the classic 'Womanizer' by Britney Spears.**_

 _Two Captain Hooks walk into a bar…_

Even in the midst of all the pressure of fixing her mistake that might very well undo her parents entire love story and erase her and her son from the fabric of time and space, Emma had to admit there was a particular kind of humor in the air. This was, to put it bluntly, absolutely ridiculous. She was sitting here in a pub in the Enchanted Forest watching a past version of Captain Hook with the one she knew now and the whole dynamic was wild.

"There I am. Rather dashing, don't you think?" Emma rolled her eyes at that comment, choosing to ignore the clear dig for a compliment.

There was no way in hell she was about to tell him that she didn't totally hate the swashbuckling pirate thing, or that the red vest his past self had worn wasn't totally off putting. No, if Emma gave Killian even an inch right now he'd forget the whole plan and flirt with her instead. One of them had to keep their head on strait at least.

"Is this even a good idea? What about preserving the future?" Emma asked, seriously questioning how she could spend an evening distracting Hook and not ruin things for later. Wouldn't he recognize her years from now? Wouldn't that totally change the future they had been living before falling back in time? Emma hesitated to move forward based on that alone.

"It'll be fine. Given what I'm drinking, if I remember anything, I'll simply blame the rum," Killian professed.

Yeah Emma could imagine that he would. And she thought the Killian she knew had a love of a stiff drink. This past version of him had had more since Emma and Killian arrived than any sensible person would have in a whole night. Part of her wondered how he was even upright at this point and then she remembered – he'd had hundreds of years to build up a tolerance, and probably one of the most forgiving metabolisms ever. Seriously no one should have so much rum and look that good.

"Just make sure that I… _he_ remains occupied and doesn't return to my ship. I'll take care of the rest."

"Okay," Emma agreed, moving to take off her hood and the cloak that was shielding her from view. She definitely wasn't comfortable in this get up they'd found for her earlier, but hey, if every other woman in here was donning a similar style, who was she to cover up and try to hide? This was a necessary part of the plan – and she did have at least one way to create that distraction Killian needed to get her mother on the Jolly Roger and on the path to getting the ring.

"Wait. What are you doing?" Killian asked, turning back to her and seeing her loosen the strings a bit of her gown. Oh this was just perfect. He was so totally jealous and just like that his cavalier attitude was gone.

"Making sure he stays occupied. Shouldn't be difficult. You and I both know I'm his type," Emma responded, knowing that her response would likely only rile up Killian further. She couldn't help it though. He was kind of fun to mess with and she didn't exactly hate the whole 'how could you do this, Swan?' act.

"Swan – the man who is sitting there – you don't know him. Just be… careful." The harder edge in Killian's voice did nothing to deter Emma. She wasn't worried in the slightest, but it was clear as day that he was.

"If I didn't know any better I would say you were jealous."

Emma had to take Killian's evasion of that comment as total confirmation. It was written all over his face that he was not a fan of this at all, but Emma didn't understand why he cared. Technically it was _him_ they were talking about – it wasn't like she was going off to seduce a totally different guy just for the sake of a good time. And besides, Emma was already aware that her Killian had made changes and chosen a different path than he was on before to help her. It was something she'd been meaning to thank him for but could never find the words to articulate, and it probably had something to do with the very telling fact that Emma was referring to Killian as 'her' anything. She'd never done that with anyone before, and she certainly hadn't expected to start with a pirate who had once been her enemy.

 _Someday we're going to laugh about this_ , Emma thought to herself as she strolled across the bar to the alternate version of the man she knew. _Well, if we make it out of here that is._

From the moment that her glance clashed with the past version of Killian's Emma moved into a totally new zone. This was a con, a ploy, and she wasn't going to get too in her head or go off script. Killian needed distraction and she was going to procure it. That started with some over the top flirting of her own and then getting Hook alone before plying him with more rum.

"I have a confession to make," Emma said eventually after they'd exchanged a few pleasantries and slunk off to a corner of the room with a bottle of rum. Immediately Hook's voice lowered and his eyes sparked hotter, and Emma felt the tingle of attraction creeping up her spine.

 _It's not him, Emma. Remember that,_ she counseled herself.

"Most women do," Hook replied and the response was luckily one that cooled Emma down. Good – jaded and guarded Hook was something she could deal with. What she wouldn't have been able to handle was the man she knew who was opening up more and more by the day and who trusted her with so much.

"I want to know how you got the hook. You hear so many stories..." Emma's aim in asking this was to get him talking. Maybe he'd weave this whole grand tale and she could milk twenty minutes out of the deal. But when Hook leaned in, shifting so their bodies were now only inches apart, that hope faded.

" _Mm_. So you know who I am, and here you haven't even told me your name."

The mention of names reminded Emma involuntarily of how the Killian she knew said hers. She was always Swan to him, and usually there was an air of humor or lightness or mirth that went with it. Occasionally there was anger (like when she'd left him on the beanstalk), but mostly she took comfort in his calling her that. No one else ever did, and even when he slipped and used her first name, calling her Emma like everyone else, it was different. Killian said it with so much more feeling packed behind it, and though her name might fall past the lips of past Hook in a similar tone, that feeling wouldn't be there and Emma hated to think of that. Besides, if she gave him her name he might remember and she couldn't have that.

"What fun would that be?" she countered instead, hoping he'd buy her objection to giving more information about herself. There was flirtatious evasion and then suspect behavior, and she wanted Hook to consider this the former or her whole plan could go to shit.

"Just two ships passing in the night then?" he asked, taking the bait.

 _Hardly_ , Emma thought to herself, but she smiled as she poured him some more rum.

"Passing _closely_ I hope," she said with a smirk that prompted him to lick his lips. Oh yeah, she totally had him right now.

"Speaking of ships, what do you say we leave this place, and I'll… show you mine?" Well there was no ignoring that innuendo was there?

"Wait," Emma said, putting her hand on his thigh under the table when he moved to get up and she was grateful when he sat back down. "How about we have a few drinks first?"

Hook took her up on the offer, and with every shot he put down, Emma felt her worry about his remembering lessen. There was a level of obnoxiousness that came, however, and when it appeared Emma almost winced. This was what Killian had been talking about with him not being the same man. The crassness and the sad attempt at swagger might work on a number of ladies in this realm, but it never would have gotten through Emma's walls.

 _How does a man survive with an ego this big?_ Emma asked herself, shaking her head at past Hook's completely over the top demeanor, brash boastfulness, and ever-increasing drunken state. Then a less happy thought crossed her mind – _That's the thing. He was_ just _surviving. This isn't anyway to live, but damn if it doesn't look a little familiar._

Now sure, Emma had never gone about her life focused just on booze and sex, but she _did_ relate to the idea of scratching an itch with a level of anonymity. There was only so much you had to get to know someone, because the more you knew the more strings appeared and Emma had never been a strings kind of person, not since she'd had her heart ripped out and trampled. There was this jaded, cynical element in it all, and then Emma's eyes caught sight of Hook's tattoo in honor of his first love and her stomach clenched.

This guy – this version of the man she'd come to know - didn't have his hope yet, the hope that he'd confessed finding with her back in Echo Cave. It was still so hard for Emma to think about that, and it had happened more than a year ago. It felt like a lifetime in so many ways, but she still recalled the way her whole body surged with a blend of fear and something else. _Killian_ wanted her, and it wasn't just the hungry sexual attraction this Hook was also susceptible to. There was a deeper tie there, a string she definitely never anticipated, and she knew that Killian wasn't expecting either.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say you were trying to get me drunk, which is usually my tactic," Hook said, cutting through Emma's thoughts and Emma could sense the tides were turning. He was done humoring her and now she had a choice to make. Keep playing this game, or get lost and hope Killian had done what he needed to do.

"What's wrong, Captain? Can't hold your rum?"

"No. Not only can I hold it," he said, pressing his finger to her nose in a strange and sloppy way that still made Emma smile. "But I can carry it right out that door. What do you say we set sail?"

 _Wow_ that was a terrible line. Thank God Killian hadn't ever used it on her. There was charm and then there was whatever that was. But Emma didn't have time to break down all the things wrong with that pitch before Hook was standing up and swaying towards the door.

"Come back with me for a night cap. Or shall I find someone else?"

In the end Emma decided to go with him, not wanting all of this to have been for nothing. The last thing they needed was two versions of Hook running into each other, and maybe this way she could smooth the transition if Killian wasn't already off the boat.

Emma allowed herself to be led from the pub and then swept into Hook's arms once on the docks. She was surprised he had as much coordination as he did, slurred words and all, and when they finally got on the Jolly Roger Emma shook her head, not knowing how to even wrap her mind around this whole affair. She just had to find Killian and then make her get away and put past Hook in the past where he belonged.

Unfortunately that was easier said than done and when they got on board, Emma and Killian were put in the position of having to find a way off. Emma decided kissing past Hook was the best option to get Killian out unnoticed, but then low and behold, Killian had to go and let his jealousy (of himself she might add) get the best of him. One second she was sharing a kiss that hadn't meant anything, and the next Emma was gaping at the passed out Hook on the floor who'd been knocked out with one hard blow from Killian.

"Are you kidding me?!" Emma yelled, the sound of it filling the cabin. "How is _that_ not going to have consequences?!"

"He was asking for it," Killian said, clearly not ashamed of himself in the slightest though he'd just compromised everything. "And like I said, he'll blame the rum. Now let's get out of here."

Emma knew fighting him on that stupid decision while aboard the Jolly Roger wasn't an option, but she did let him have it when they'd gotten past town and were heading in the direction of the castle. She could have arguably just let it hang there between them, but for some reason she couldn't. It was gnawing at her that he would be so reckless and all for one dumb kiss.

"I can't believe you did that! What the hell were you thinking?!" Emma yelled when they were back on the footpath in the woods, alone once more.

"I was thinking I'd rather not watch any more of that, Swan. You didn't have to kiss him so bloody much!" Killian replied, his voice reaching hers in the pitch of its anger.

"You mean kiss _you_?! It's not like I just picked up some random guy at a bar. That was you back there!"

"It wasn't me!" He yelled, stopping in the middle of the path as he grabbed her wrist to halt her movement as well and Emma looked at him, seeing his anger wasn't with her at all but with himself. "I wish it had been me but it wasn't." 

"Killian, it was just a kiss," Emma said, this time softer and with the hope of making him see that it didn't have to mean anything. It didn't take away from what they had and whatever was going on between them. Not that she was ready to get into that. She was still actively avoiding any sort of emotional analysis when it came to her heart right now.

"Maybe for you, Emma. But not for me."

Now they were talking about Neverland just as much as they were talking about tonight and Emma had two choices – face the music and confront the attraction and the pull that was between her and Killian, or do what she did best and evade. Her head was screaming for her to run before she could somehow find herself hurt, but her instincts were saying to stay and to tell him that he had it all wrong.

In the end Emma decided to show him instead, and in a move with the same fierce intensity as her one in Neverland, Emma pulled Killian down by the lapel of his jacket for a kiss right there in the moonlight. They were in another forest, another realm, another time entirely, but this kiss felt just like the one back on that hellish island. The spark was there, the recognition that this was more than a simple kiss burned bright, and Emma wanted to linger in it, to soak up his taste and his embrace that came when Killian met her in the kiss and gave as good as he got.

Her hands clutched at the leather of his jacket for purchase, her eyes closed and gave way to the feeling of his roaming hand and hook and the mastery of his mouth, but there wasn't time to give into this right now. They still had a job to do regardless of whether or not Emma might want to explore this further. So even though it pained her a little bit, Emma pulled back, her breathing ragged and coming in spurts, and she made her final point.

"You have no reason to be jealous, Killian. It's not the same. This is different."

A part of Emma worried that Killian would push for more answers. What did this mean? Where was this going? Were the two of them going to try and make something happen between them long term and post-time traveling curse? But Killian seemed to understand that this was already so much farther than she had ever planned to go and he showed mercy. With one last graze of his hand against her cheek, he nodded his understanding and gave her a few simple words as an out.

"Right then. Well let's see about getting things sorted and getting us both home."

That sounded pretty damn good to Emma, and with that the two of them set forth towards the castle, both knowing there was so much more to say and no time for them to linger on it now. But Emma knew that when they did figure this all out, there would come a moment when she'd have to choose which way to go and that she would choose to try with Killian for better or worse. Because after all of this she knew the man standing beside her, and she was certain that he worth taking a risk with if given the chance.

…

 _Superstar_

 _Where you from, how's it going?_

 _I know you_

 _Got a clue, what you doing?_

 _You can play brand new to_

 _All the other chicks out here_

 _But I know what you are_

 _What you are, baby_

 _Look at you_

 _Gettin' more than just a re-up_

 _Baby you_

 _Got all the puppets with their strings up_

 _Fakin' like a good one_

 _But I call 'em like I see 'em_

 _I know what you are_

 _What you are, baby_

 _Womanizer, woman-womanizer_

 _You're a womanizer_

 _Oh, womanizer, oh_

 _You're a womanizer, baby_

 _You, you, you are_

 _You, you, you are_

 _Womanizer, womanizer_

 _Womanizer_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _You got me going_

 _You're oh so charming_

 _But I can't do it_

 _You womanizer_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _You say I'm crazy_

 _I got you crazy_

 _You're nothing but a_

 _Womanizer_

 _Daddy-O_

 _You got the swagger of a champion_

 _Too bad for you_

 _You just can't find the right companion_

 _I guess when you have one too many_

 _Makes it hard, it could be easy_

 _Who you are_

 _That's just who you are, baby_

 _Lollipop_

 _Must mistake me, you're the sucker_

 _To think that I_

 _Would be a victim, not another_

 _Say it, play it, how you wanna?_

 _But no way I'm ever gonna_

 _Fall for you_

 _Never you, baby_

 _Womanizer, woman-womanizer_

 _You're a womanizer_

 _Oh, womanizer, oh_

 _You're a womanizer, baby_

 _You, you, you are_

 _You, you, you are_

 _Womanizer, womanizer_

 _Womanizer_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _You got me going_

 _You're oh so charming_

 _But I can't do it_

 _You womanizer_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _You say I'm crazy_

 _I got you crazy_

 _You're nothing but a_

 _Womanizer_

 _Maybe if_

 _We both lived in a_

 _Different world_

 _(Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer)_

 _It would be all good_

 _And maybe I could be your girl_

 _But I can't_

 _'Cause we don't_

 _Womanizer, woman-womanizer_

 _You're a womanizer_

 _Oh, womanizer, oh_

 _You're a womanizer, baby_

 _You, you, you are_

 _You, you, you are_

 _Womanizer, womanizer_

 _Womanizer_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _You got me going_

 _You're oh so charming_

 _But I can't do it_

 _You womanizer_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _You say I'm crazy_

 _I got you crazy_

 _You're nothing but a_

 _Womanizer_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Boy don't try to front, uh, I_

 _Know just, just, what you are, ah, ah_

 _Womanizer, woman-womanizer_

 _You're a womanizer_

 _Oh, womanizer, oh_

 _You're a womanizer, baby_

 _ **Post-Note: So many moons ago someone asked me to rewrite this scene between Emma and Hook and it kind of got lost in the slew of other prompts, as did this song request, but when I thought of putting them together today inspiration finally struck. I want to thank both readers who requested these elements – this was a joy to write and I hope that you guys enjoyed. Also thank you all so much for reading and know that there are many more stories on the horizon for the mixtape! Thanks again and hope you all have a great weekend!**_


	142. Something Special

_**A/N: This is a reader requested future-set drabble where Emma is pregnant but still kicking ass. Her family is worried she's taking on too much, but the only person's concern that gives her pause is Killian's. In short it is totally fluffy and light and cute. Coupled with the song 'Somethin Special' by Colbie Caillat.**_

"Another day, another bad guy handled," Emma joked to Henry as the two of them walked into the sheriff's station with the rest of the family trailing just behind.

They'd just finished a stand off with a wannabe villain who (thankfully) wasn't half as bad assed as they believed themselves to be. Sure, they'd had a couple of tricks up their sleeve, but Emma was stronger and more assured than ever. Between her magic and the backing of her family, no one else stood a chance, and Emma was feeling the power of having faith in herself and the people who mattered most to her.

"You totally kicked a- I mean _butt_ ," Henry said, catching himself before swearing in front of anyone.

Emma bit back a smile, knowing that as a teenager Henry was going through all those usual growing pains everyone else faced in life. It didn't matter that Storybrooke was a tiny town filled with fairytale characters, there were still some things Henry was going to have to wade threw like the minefield that was high school gossip, and the whole rebelling against authority thing.

The reality that Henry wasn't that exact same little boy who'd found her years ago was hard to accept in some ways. Yet even with the changes, Emma was glad for everything she did have with Henry. He was one of her biggest supporters when times were tough, and it was often his belief that helped her and the rest of them get through any opposition that stood in their way. Someday he was going to be a great man and she was already prouder of her son than she could ever say. It was for that reason that she didn't linger on his near-miss language wise and showed a little mercy by not making mention of it.

"I did, didn't I?" Emma replied, smiling and letting herself celebrate a little in her ability to keep them all safe.

"You were brilliant, Swan," Killian confirmed as he came to stand beside her and gave her a gentle kiss.

The kiss was restrained and chaste given their audience, but when they pulled apart Emma saw that same passion and fire that came every time they faced some new foe and came out on top in Killian's eyes. There was just something about Emma winning a fight that really got her husband going, and there was something about having someone who was always on her side and never doubted her in any way that got her going too. What the two of them had was more than special; it was necessary and life affirming for Emma each and every day.

Love had also brought more than simple happiness to Emma's life, but acceptance as well. Being a hero just didn't seem as terrible to her now as it had at one point. It actually felt good to go up against opponents and not fear for the safety of her family, her town, or the entire fabric of time and space itself. Sure, Emma had to be level headed in the field, and she never let herself get too confident at the risk of failing from an over inflated ego, but after all the losses they'd faced, Emma now had a perspective that things would be okay and that she could protect them all come what may.

That faith in herself and in her family was something that she earned through blood, sweat, and tears but it made life so much easier, and it kept a lot of Emma's old demons at bay. Days went by and she tried hard to do her best and put her best foot forward for all of them, and that effort and fight was proved worth it. She was living that life she'd never have dared to dream of once upon a time and she couldn't fend off the overwhelming happiness that came with knowing things were right and that she was exactly where she was always meant to be. In short, it turned out that everyone had been correct – hope was the answer she'd been looking for all along, and now that she had it, Emma had no intentions of ever letting it go again.

"Hey I know we're going to Granny's for dinner tonight…" Henry started, bringing Emma and Killian's attention back to her son. "But is there any way I could meet you guys there?"

Emma knew what Henry was really asking for by the slight fidgeting and the elaborate waving of his hand that came with his query: he wanted to see his girl after the fight the family had just faced, and Emma could understand that. Instinctively Emma's eyes flew back towards Killian who shared the same understanding that she did and he smiled at her while raising his brow in a silent plea on Henry's behalf. Okay, how could she say no when the request was coming from two people she loved so much? The answer was she couldn't.

"Yeah kid. Tell Violet we said hi and we'll see you at six."

"Thanks, Mom!" Henry said giving her one last hug and then bidding goodbye to his grandparents and Killian.

Emma watched him go, still smiling and thinking about how good things were going for Henry right now. She was so happy to see him thriving in such a way, especially when just a few months ago she'd been terrified of how he'd cope with all the new elements in their lives. It was one thing for her and Killian to get engaged and move in together a while back, but then there'd been a wedding and only a few weeks after that Emma and Killian received some surprising news: they were expecting a new addition to the Jones clan by the end of this year, and the family that they had was going to be growing in just a few more months time.

For days Emma fretted and worried about how to break the news to Henry without making him feel like he wasn't enough, but she needn't have bothered. Her kid was absolutely thrilled to have a new baby brother or sister on the way, and he'd even admitted that he was glad that Emma and Killian would get a chance to raise a child together. Then he'd made mention about how he was only a few years away from college and Emma became frazzled about that and how time was going by too quickly. But more than anything she was thankful that she had such a loving, understanding son, and that things were really starting to look up for this whole family's happily ever after.

"Young love. There really is nothing like it," Snow said when Henry was out the door and Emma rolled her eyes but smiled all the same, because she just knew that her father was bound to grumble out some reply about how being young didn't have anything to do with it.

"I don't know. I like what we have just fine," David replied, making Emma chuckle. Never let it be said that this family wasn't predictable, because she was nearly prophetic when it came to some of these moments these days, and she could almost respond word for word with her mother when she said she hadn't meant it in that way.

"It does a soul good to see the lad so happy," Killian said as he came around to sit by Emma at her desk. When he came, his hand found hers and he brought her fingers up to kiss, his eyes catching on the two rings he'd given her that she never took off no matter what. "Gods know he deserves it given all that he does for this family."

"We all give our all," Emma said, hoping that Killian would know she meant him in particular. He still after all this time wasn't the best at accepting praise, but there was no way to avoid the truth – Killian was a part of this family and this team and he could not be replaced in any way shape or form.

"That we do, Swan," Killian replied, grinning at her and going in for another kiss before Emma's father made a coughing sound as a hint for them to cool it.

Emma could have been angry about that, after all she was a grown woman and she could kiss her husband whenever she damn well pleased, but she chose to see the positives instead. With her parent's watchful eyes on them, Emma and Killian might not get sidetracked with each other and could be a bit more productive with their day. Just the thought of getting a jump on things so she could cut into her agenda for later in the week was enough to get Emma going and energized again.

"Well if Henry's going to be busy, maybe we could use this time to catch up on some actual police work? We've got a couple back logged complaints we could go check on," Emma offered, addressing the plan to Killian and her Dad. But it ended up being Snow who spoke up in reply.

"Emma, honey, don't you think you should maybe slow down?" her mother asked, concern evident in the tone of her voice.

"And let things go to hell because I took my eye off the ball? I don't think so," Emma replied, standing and putting her jacket back on. As she did, Emma noticed that it wasn't as smooth or fast an action as it had been even a week ago. Her baby bump was getting a little bit bigger every day, and Emma knew that the kicks this little boy or girl was starting to give randomly at all hours would only get more and more prominent as the weeks went on.

"But what's the rush? We just vanquished that thing back to wherever it came from. Why spend the afternoon running around town handling all these little things when you could… I don't know… relax or something?"

Her mother's words might appear to be totally uncalculated to an impartial observer, but Emma knew there was a larger worry here, and when she saw her mother's eyes move to Emma's stomach where Emma had unconsciously placed her hand, she had her confirmation. Her mother didn't think she should be working so hard when she was pregnant. Or worse, she might think Emma couldn't handle this because she was. Either way, Emma didn't agree, and she felt her defenses starting to rise.

"I don't need to relax. I'm fine - great even. Never been better," Emma attested, daring anyone to contradict her. This time her mother backed off, but her father stepped forward and offered his attempt at appeasement.

"But Emma you're not alone in this. We're all a team and _we_ can keep the town safe while you focus on yourself," her Dad said.

"You mean while I focus on the baby," Emma rebuffed.

"Well… yes. We just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself," her mother claimed and her father agreed and Emma crossed her arms across her chest, feeling her anger rise. Maybe it was stupid for her to get this upset when seconds ago she'd been so happy, but it felt like they didn't trust her to know when enough was enough. Why were they doubting her? Especially when Emma had proved time and time again just how capable she was of protecting this town and the people she loved most.

"You think I'm putting my child at risk on purpose? You think I'm doing all of this for nothing?" Emma asked, knowing on some level she was jumping to conclusions, but letting her anger win out over logic.

It was just so frustrating. Here they were insinuating that she taking on too much at the expense of her unborn child and for what – her ego? No. Emma knew that she had to remain vigilant. That was what would keep them all safe, this baby included. So what if she got a little more tired at the end of each day? She wasn't just going to drop everything because it was expected. Emma was way stronger than that and in this crazy, magically-inclined world they lived in, she had to be.

"No that's not it at all!" Her mother countered, but she looked at a loss for how to articulate her worries about Emma and the baby. Then Snow's eyes cast from Emma to just beside her, in a silent plea to Killian that he help somehow. In response, Killian reached out for Emma again and took one of her hands in his.

"I think what your parents are trying to say love, is that you don't need to be concerning yourself with whatever Leroy's rantings are for the day, or whether someone stiffed their bill at Granny's. You're an asset to this family – hell you're the thing that holds us all together – and you've got a lot on your plate as is. So why saddle yourself with more when others can step in?"

Emma looked up to Killian's eyes at that and she felt the familiar warmth that came whenever they were together. The love they shared had been strong a long time, but since their wedding and news of the baby had come, that love had only flourished more and more. Their once intense connection transcended to something totally new, and with a simple look he said a thousand words, all of them promising her that no one doubted her capability. They were just trying to help her, not insinuate that she was helpless.

"I guess," Emma acquiesced, but she must have sounded partially unconvinced, for Killian elaborated and brought her further into his embrace as a means of helping convince her.

"Now, can you tackle every problem that comes and succeed every time? Yes, undoubtedly. You're a force to be reckoned with Swan, and no one doubts that," Killian said, pulling a laugh from Emma. His hook came to brush some of the hair from in front of her face at that as he smiled, clearly delighting in the sound of her more relaxed happiness. "But we've got a new little adventure coming our way, and I think we'd be fools not to take your parents up on their offer of a quiet moment. That was what you two were offering, right?"

"Right," her parents answered simultaneously though neither Emma nor Killian bothered to look in their direction.

"Well I do love the quiet moments," Emma mused as Killian's grin widened, ticking up to one side in that way that always made Emma's heart flutter.

"Aye, I know you do. It's something we have in common. And rest assured, there will be trials and battles aplenty in our future. But at least for today let's give ourselves a bit of a break, alright?" he asked, hopeful that she would be receptive.

Emma had already decided to follow his lead before, but now she was determined to spend the next few hours wrapped in her husband and forgetting the other responsibilities she might have had to deal with. Because really, at the end of the day, the moments that she'd remember and cherish forever weren't the ones she had as a sheriff dealing with benign complaints; they were the ones she'd steal with her pirate where the two of them could just be and celebrate in the fact that they had this chance at all.

"Don't give Leroy longer than two minutes to complain," Emma said to her father even as she still looked at Killian. "The last thing we need is for him to think he can waste more of our time for any little thing."

"You got it," her Dad answered and Emma took that as their queue that they could go, flicking her wrist to bring her and Killian back home in a _poof_ of white magic.

That she'd had them appear in their bedroom was also a deliberate choice on Emma's part, and she knew even though Killian's eyes never strayed from her, that he was totally aware of her intentions. The way the deep blue of his eyes darkened ever so slightly, and the way he pulled her closer to him as soon as they were alone gave him away, and she smiled, loving that this was their new normal. They'd had dozens of interludes just like this one and she had to believe there were countless more to come, and that was a magical prospect indeed.

"So…" Emma said, running her hand along Killian's chest. "We've got a free afternoon on our hands. Any ideas how we might spend it?"

"I've a few thoughts on the matter, my love, and I can promise you'll enjoy every last one of them," Killian vowed before kissing her with all the love and warmth in his heart and leading her to a much needed afternoon of pleasure and peace that only came with a real happily ever after.

…..

 _I found a way to be everything  
I've dreamed of  
And I know it's in me  
That I will become  
Who I want to be  
And I finally found it and I'm taking the long way out  
'Cause it's going to be, something special to me  
Something special to me_

 _Days go by  
And I grow stronger  
It takes time, but I'll never let go  
Days go by and I'll try harder to make it mine, I know...  
Something special to me  
Something special to me  
Something special to me_

 _I've found  
So many things  
I've dreamed of  
And I know it's in me  
That I will become  
Who I want to be  
And I finally found it and I am taking the long way out  
'Cause it's gonna to be  
Something special to me  
Something special to me_

 _Days go by and I grow stronger  
It takes time, but I'll never let go  
Days go…_

 _ **Post-Note: So this is just the shortest drabble, but as with the other future CS fics I have written it's a lovely little fantasy I get to weave. Thanks to my lovely reader who asked for badass, pregnant Emma. I appreciate that prompt more than you can know. And as for the rest of you thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend!**_


	143. So Close

_**A/N: This is a reader requested EF AU somewhat based on the dance sequence in 'Enchanted.' Emma and Killian knew each other before and fell in love, but Emma is in an arranged marriage (of sorts) when this story takes place. Killian comes to the palace dressed as a prince and they share a dance. You can all probably guess what happens next (and yes I managed to throw a proposal in here, because it's me and I live dangerously). Inspired by the song 'So Close' by Jon McLaughlin.**_

 _Once upon a time I would have loved this,_ Emma thought to herself as she stared out into the sea of people from her kingdom who were enjoying the royal ball this evening.

It was a familiar site for Emma, with the grand fashions and the measured steps of people's movements against the backdrop of sweet playing music. There were guests enjoying food and drink, laughing in merriment, and celebrating the good news that a new day was coming to Misthaven, one without any more war or strife. Yet while everyone else was in the mood for rejoicing, Emma lacked the ability to enjoy the evening. Where others felt relief, she felt nothing but the subtle pang of loneliness even surrounded by admirers as she was. For even if it seemed like she had everything, there was something – or rather someone – who was noticeably missing.

"You look so beautiful tonight, Emma," her mother said, pulling Emma from her thoughts and back into the fray of her family once more where they stood above the people. "It's such a striking red, but I really do think it might be your color."

Emma looked down at the gown she was wearing, noticing just how different it was from her once usual fare. Years ago she'd been lighter, softer, and more prone to muted colors. Her world was filled with rosy pinks and pale yellows, and she'd been content with that, but then she'd been awakened as if from a lifelong dream, and suddenly she realized there was more to life than what she'd known. There was vibrancy and passion, lust and love, but just as quickly as it had come it was gone, and Emma was left searching for a way to grasp the memory of it all as close as she could.

 _Don't go there, Emma, not tonight,_ she counseled herself before responding to her mother in a feigned, hopeful tone.

"I can't take all the credit. The dressmaker worked her magic. I merely get to wear it." There, that seemed convincing enough. She might not seem overjoyed, but she likely didn't sound as torn up about tonight as she felt inside.

"Don't sell yourself short," her mother insisted. "Real beauty starts from within, and you have that in abundance."

Emma appreciated her mother's words, but tonight she didn't feel so lovely. Instead she felt ashamed and guilty, for this was the day when an announcement would be made that Emma was to marry a foreign prince, a man in line for the throne in another kingdom. He was a suitable match, perhaps a little arrogant but not unkind to her, and Emma knew she could theoretically do far worse. But his not being terrible didn't make this something that Emma wanted. It was simply expected, and despite what she'd once thought, she didn't have any other alternatives, not when the man she once believed would be her one and only was gone and hadn't been heard from in over a year.

"I think I'll take a lap around the room. Stretch my legs a bit," Emma said before leaving her mother without another word and hoping to get out of this ballroom and into the night air outside. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so stifled, and she could breathe again.

The truth was that Emma hadn't breathed easy since the morning he left, the man she'd fallen in love with, her Killian. Years ago when their paths first crossed they were really only children, both of them searching for meaning in the lives that seemed so meticulously planned out for them. Emma was a princess in line to inherit, and Killian was a Lieutenant who served in another king's navy alongside his brother. But time past, things changed and one day after years apart, Emma and Killian found each other again in a wholly different situation.

This time he was a Captain on the seas, and a pirate to boot, having forsaken his old flag after losing his brother, but it hadn't mattered. Circumstances had brought them together again and love had grown from the friendship and infatuation they once shared. Slowly but surely Emma fell for him and she knew Killian had fallen too. There was no denying that what they'd shared was real, and Emma spent many nights slipping past the castle walls to find Killian somewhere quiet and peaceful. For a few hours at a time she could pretend that things were different. In that life she dreamed she wasn't a princess and he wasn't a pirate. They were just two people who against all odds had found true love that they could share forever.

But that happiness that they had, the one Emma held dear to her heart and kept a secret for so long, fell away in the blink of an eye. Killian had come to her one night, breaking with tradition, and arriving at the palace to tell her that he had one last voyage, one last mission before he'd come back to her and stay forever. He was hell bent on procuring some treasure or other before he promised to return and seek a blessing from her parents.

" _I know you want to wait, love, and I've tried to be patient, but we deserve more than this, more than stolen moments that disappear when the witching hour comes. Whatever happens, whatever the fall out when the world discovers the truth, I won't let any of it touch you. It'll all be all right. You have my word."_

" _How can you be sure?"_ Emma had asked, already knowing she trusted him no matter what. Killian had never broken a promise, and in all the time she'd known him he had never once lied to her.

" _That's easy - true love always wins."_

Killian had given her those assurances and those painfully sweet words as well as a few last kisses before having to return to his ship. When he left Emma missed him immediately, but she thought he would return to her in a matter of days. Yet days turned to months and months to a year and he was still gone. No letters, no word, no trace of Captain Killian Jones or his ship to be found.

Emma had scoured high and low. She'd asked as discretely as she could for information from the people in the nearby port, used her magic in all sorts of ways, but the trail went cold and Emma was left to fear the worst. She knew he was alive, her magic had been able to ascertain that much, but either Killian was lost in some unknown turmoil, or he didn't want to be found.

A year went by and for so many months Emma never let her faith in him die. She remained vigilant and consumed with finding him while still trying to carry a façade of being okay with her family and friends, but eventually she realized that either way she'd been left behind. Whether or not Killian wanted to hurt her he had, and she was left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of a world she no longer recognized.

All of this, all the heartbreak and pain and the sorry situations, should have allowed her to feel better than she did. Emma argued with herself in her rational mind that when Killian had left he'd chosen something other than her. His treasure mattered more to him and that cut her to the core. Maybe it wasn't fair to think that way, but with every day her heart had been crushed a little more, until one day she realized it was broken all together. She had lost her hope and her trust had been tarnished, leaving her a princess of marrying age who the world was watching and waiting to wed.

"Doesn't the princess look lovely tonight?" A passing guest proclaimed while on the arm of another.

"Indeed she does. A real ray of light she is."

Emma could have offered them both a smile or some thanks, but she ignored the praise and pushed forward. She was getting closer to the doorway, but in this sea of people it was hard to cut through. She felt caught at so many moments, even when people moved out of her way to let her by. Emma just needed to get out of there and have a moment when the whole kingdom wasn't looking at her to sacrifice her happiness for the sake of an arranged marriage.

For a long time she'd been lucky and her parents hadn't pushed. Even as the years passed by and Emma grew older, they never insisted that she visit other kingdoms or hold dances for the sake of meeting a husband. But then a few months ago that changed. She woke up one morning to her mother's announcement of a new treaty to be signed between their kingdom and another, and a prince was mentioned who was young and spry and 'suitable' as her father had put it. Just the thought of him had been enough to put a bad taste in Emma's mouth, and then when she actually met him two days ago upon his arrival to Misthaven she felt even worse.

It made her sick to even consider a life where she swore vows to someone who wasn't Killian, no matter that he'd left her. She might be heartbroken but she also didn't want to settle for something loveless and convenient. Maybe it was foolish of her, but she'd thought since she was little that love would be her path too. After all her parents had found it, and she was the product of true love, a child born in magic with magic of her own. It had seemed certain that she should find love, but now it seemed that chance was gone before it even had the ability to start.

Not looking where she was going, Emma suddenly walked into an approaching figure dressed in fine garb that screamed of some sort of wealth and stature, and she was pained. _Please don't let this be the prince, or any prince for that matter,_ Emma thought. _Just let me be. Let me go._

"Emma," the man said and the voice of the stranger stopped her in her tracks. It couldn't be – no she had to be hallucinating. This was her final stop on a voyage to insanity. Now she was hearing Killian's voice, when it couldn't be him.

But then a hand came to clutch hers, and Emma knew in her heart who it was. Her whole body lit up from a simple touch, and the only person who had ever had such an effect on her was Killian. Glancing upwards and into the man's eyes Emma saw it _was_ him, and she couldn't understand it. He was here! He was alive and he was really here! But he was… altered.

Gone was the black leather she was used to seeing Killian in and instead there was the tailor-made showings of a prince. Emma didn't understand it. What was going on? Why would he even risk coming here – and where had he been all that time? This wasn't the way she ever expected him to come back and she had a million feelings and questions and unanswered emotions roiling inside, but then Killian smiled at her that same hopeful, impossibly sweet smile from a man who was so strong and commanding with everyone else. In that expression she saw _her_ Killian, her sailor who'd gone and stolen part of her heart with him across the seas.

"Killian?" she said, still not fully believing that he was real or that he was here. He had to be a dream, a beautiful, heart-wrenching figment of her imagination.

"Gods it's good to see you, love," Killian said, forgetting himself a bit more as he stepped towards her, taking her other hand in his.

Emma was so tempted to lean into this and to let the rest of the world fall away. Even after all this time she knew the comfort of his arms would remain. She'd fit in his embrace perfectly and all her fears and worries would drift away just as they always had. He'd make her feel whole again, and help her heal from the torment of the past year. But a stronger part of her was unable to yield. He'd been gone too long. Too much had changed. She couldn't just give in, not if she had any hope of staying strong when he left again.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked, the words harsher than either of them were used to and for a second she saw a flash of pain in his blue eyes, but Killian persevered, and what remained wasn't any sort of animosity but an understanding. He wasn't mad at her for being angry. In fact, it appeared he totally expected it.

"That's simple, princess. I'm here for you."

The way he said those words, with an unwavering promise that Emma wanted so desperately to believe, tore at her. Killian had always been honest with her, and she had the ability to sense a lie better than anyone else in the kingdom, so she knew he meant that proclamation now. But that didn't change the fact that he'd been gone so long and that a year had past where she thought him gone forever. He'd hurt her, whether he meant to or not and now she was wary where she'd never been that way with Killian before.

Add to that the fact that he was risking too much by being here at all with her parents looking on and Emma was a frenzy of worry. She was alert to the fact that the whole point of this evening was for eyes to be on her. For the moment no one seemed to recognize Killian, but if Emma had any hope of protecting him she should probably play along to some extent and not act out in the flurry of emotions she was feeling.

"Well you've seen me. If you'll excuse me," she said, turning back around but not getting very far before Killian had chased around to see her again, not letting go of her hand.

"Actually I was hoping, if you're not otherwise engaged, that I might ask for this dance."

Emma's heart constricted in her chest and she felt this flooding of emotion that had been gone for so long. Killian was here – he was actually here – and she was close enough to touch him after months of missing him. She knew she should say no. Hell she should probably slap him or yell or scream or… something! But she couldn't, instead she nodded and let him lead her to the dance floor and pull her in close.

At the start of the waltz that was playing, there was an element of edginess to Emma's manners. She was wary of the eyes on her and Killian as they danced and cautious of her parents who Emma knew would be tracking all her movements as they so often did. Her whole life she'd been looked after so carefully, with the entire kingdom fretting over whether the Evil Queen might finally make good on all those threats she'd bestowed on her parents years ago. Emma was used to that by now, but in this moment she hated that feeling. What she wanted more than anything was to be free, but she was trapped in so many ways.

Then there were Emma's ever-present doubts about Killian's intentions. Here they were reunited again and he was silent, not bothering to plead his case in any way. Shouldn't he be telling her everything or making some sort of excuse? But no, he was just standing here, holding her, moving through the dance and acting as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

Well that wasn't exactly true. Honestly Killian was looking at her like he was seeing the light for the first time, and that gaze as well as the feeling of his hands on her had an unanticipated impact. Emma's musings about all of her other concerns faded to nothing but an almost imperceptible hum in the face of her love being back again, and for a moment she willfully let go of the sadness and the hurt she was feeling.

Soon it was just the two of them and everything else was forgotten as the beautiful melody filled the space around them. This was a familiar song to Emma, one she'd learned to dance to as a little girl with her father, and been asked to dance many time since with interested suitors, but this time it felt different. This time each note sent a zing of pleasure coursing through her and each brush of her body against Killian's was a spark that ignited something bright and hopeful. Emma felt a connection to this moment in time that she'd never felt before, as if there was this impossible form of clarity garnered from the movement of her and the man she loved across the dance floor.

Yet it was impossible for Emma to ignore the fact that this was technically their first dance. She'd loved Killian for what felt like forever, but this was a world he was never supposed to be in. She was a princess and he was a pirate, but tonight, dancing here together, those labels fell away. Emma was just Emma and Killian was simply the man her heart had chosen to love.

"I know I likely shouldn't say this, love – it isn't strictly polite - but holding you in my arms again… nothing can compare to this form of pleasure."

Emma knew the feeling. She'd been wandering this castle for over a year lost in so many ways. The ghost of his touch had haunted her and part of her had hollowed out slowly over time the longer he'd been away, but so many nights she lay awake picturing this moment when they'd be back in each other's arms. At night she'd dream of him, and every time he was so close but then so far away. With the morning would come the reminder that he wasn't there and she was left lonely and without the love he'd promised he would always give.

"You left me. A whole year came and went and you never came back," Emma whispered, the words barely carrying over the music, but Killian heard her, and he winced as if she'd slapped him at the point she made.

"Aye I did, but I was never really gone, love. I left everything of me worth having here with you. My hope and my heart, they've been yours since the first moment I met you, Emma. You have to believe that."

Emma felt tears stinging her eyes as he said that, making pretty promises that didn't mean to hurt her but pierced her all the same. She loved the thought that she'd had his heart, but where was the proof? The facts were he'd gone away with no details or anything. She didn't even know where the hell he'd been sailing for or what he hoped to find. Just that Killian said it was paramount to anything else.

"Was it worth it?" Emma asked, her voice warbling again with the sadness in her soul. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes. It nearly killed me a thousand times to be so far from you, Emma, but in the end it had to happen. I found the final piece to secure our happiness and now we can have our chance."

Emma looked away again, unable to handle his continued hopes for her. She could feel his genuine want for them to be together, but even if he had a reason to be gone so long, it couldn't happen. Even if she was slowly caving to her old desire to be with Killian and only Killian, she was promised to another and…

"You were always with me, Emma, every second of every day. You're the only thing that got me through," Killian vowed, his voice washing over her like a wave upon the shore.

"Through what?" she asked, not understanding. "Why did you even go in the first place? Why did you stay away so long? Why did you…,"

"Why did I break your heart?" He filled in, and Emma looked back at him again, willing herself not to lose it when all she wanted to do was break in this moment. "I'll never forgive myself for hurting you, Emma, and I've no explanation for it except to say that this wasn't the plan. I was supposed to be away from you days, a week at most. I never dreamed it would take so long. There was a mix up that cost us dearly and if I could have avoided it you must know that I would have. But I also don't regret it. The only thing I regret is that I made you doubt my love for you."

This was too much for Emma to bear and as she looked away to try and collect her self, she made eye contact with her parents who were looking on with curious glances. The pang that hit her in that moment was the final blow to her lessening control and Emma found herself pulling away from Killian and hurting the both of them as she did. It felt wrong to move back from him when the monumental amount of wishes she'd made for his safe return had been answered, but she couldn't do this. She wasn't strong enough to stand here and hear this anymore and she wouldn't dishonor her family by breaking down in front of everyone.

"I can't," she said with a tautness in her voice as Killian reached for her.

"Emma, wait!"

Despite his plea and his quick movements, Emma was faster and she dodged his attempt to keep her there, leaving Killian in the middle of the ballroom and moving swiftly from the gazes of everyone else to somewhere she could think and wrap her mind around all of this. By the time she was out of the ballroom she still hadn't processed anything, and it was only after she'd broken into a full run and made it outside to the gardens that she felt any kind of relief. Finally some quiet and the chance to think this through.

There in the full moonlight under the lanterns that her parents had set out for tonight, Emma paced through the hedgerow, ignoring the roses that had often brought her comfort, and straining for some sort of sign of what she should do. Her head was saying that she had a duty to her family and to the crown that she was supposed to inherit. Her parents had set up a match for her, and going back on her word would be dishonorable. But her heart was clear out here in the solemn quiet and away from the crowds of people inside that that wasn't an option. No matter what had happened, no matter what his reasons were for being gone as long as he was, her heart still belonged to Killian and it would never be easy unless she was honest with herself and with her parents. She had to tell them, and as bad as the timing might be it had to be tonight.

Turning to head back into the festivities once more, Emma felt stronger now than she had in the first moments of finding Killian again, but surprise came again when she found her parents waiting for her there amongst the greenery. They had left the fray of the party to seek her out, and while that would make her job of finding a private moment easier, it did spike her nerves into turbulence again.

"Mom, Dad… I have something I have to tell you," Emma said, trying to find the words that would express how much Killian meant to her but how much she loved them and wanted to make them proud too.

"Emma we know," her mother said, surprising Emma and cutting through her sadness. "We know about you and Killian. We've known a long time and Killian had already spoken with both of us about his intentions with you before he went away."

"He…what?" Emma asked, none of this making sense. Her mother then came over and took her hand in hers, patting it gently.

"More than a year ago we had a visitor. A man who assured us that he loved you more than anything and that while he wanted our blessing, he did not require it for he believed you loved him too. He was very blunt with it all, and he told us in no uncertain terms that he had no plans to walk away as long as you cared for him in any way. How did he phrase it again, Charming?" Her mother asked and Emma's father offered a small smile.

"'Piracy be damned.' He was definitely colorful."

"And you just accepted that?" Emma asked, looking at her father.

"Of course not, but Killian made us see that what he said was true. There's a real love between the both of you and that's something to be cherished, not fought against," her father said as he came to place his hand on Emma's shoulder gently.

"He also told us that he had no want to hide from us, but that his first aim would always be to make you happy. You weren't ready to tell us, and Killian wanted you to be the one to come forward. We promised him we'd keep the secret, and he promised something in return, something he was just as desperate for as we were," her mother said.

Her parents then went on to explain to Emma that there was an enchanted item a realm away that was in essence a failsafe. It would protect Emma from any danger the Evil Queen might ever wield, and while that threat had felt less and less as the years went on, there had always been that feeling of uneasiness in the air. Regina wanted revenge and now, according to her parents, Killian had found a way where she could never have it and where Emma would never have to look over her shoulder for that woman's dark shadow.

"So all this time you knew and you never told me? Did you know he was alright?" Emma asked, angry at the idea that perhaps they might have known and not released her from her suffering.

"We had no idea Killian had returned until we saw the two of you dancing tonight. We prayed he'd come home for your sake, but we had no word from him since the day he left port a year ago," her mother promised.

"And what about the prince?" Emma asked, hating that she even had to consider another man when the one man she wanted was here and holding out his heart to her so easily.

"What about him?" her father asked.

"The deal with his kingdom. I thought… I mean people said I was going to marry him. You even said he was 'suitable.'"

"Oh Emma, no!" Her mother affirmed, pulling Emma in for another hug. "We would _never_ do that to you. Not when someone else already has your heart."

"When I said he was suitable I only meant in terms of an arrangement. Some kingdoms have wealth but no honor. It was a simple statement of trust that he'd live up to his end of the bargain," Emma's father said and Emma closed her eyes, feeling the waves of relief wash over her as she told her parents her intentions without delay.

"I'm marrying Killian."

"Has he asked you already?!" Her mother asked, an element of undeniable excitement in her voice as she did and Emma shook her head smiling.

"No. I'm going to ask him."

"Oh, well… what are you waiting for then?" Emma didn't have an answer for her mother's question other than to say that she was tired of waiting, and with a quick kiss to both her parents' cheeks she was off, intent on finding the man she'd nearly let get away from her own fears and mistakes.

Emma would carry that regret of not telling her parents from the start as long as she lived, if only because there was so much time Emma and Killian had remained a secret when they should have had their days in the sun, but she swore as the familiar _poof_ of her white magic transported her to her heart's truest desire that she'd make it up to him. No matter what it took, Emma would convince Killian that he hadn't been wrong in trusting his heart to her, and that there was no cause for worry in keeping it with her forever.

There came a small moment of pause, however, when Emma realized where she'd ended up, as it was just a few twists and turns away in another part of the grounds. It was the very same spot by the fountains where they'd said their goodbyes before and shared their last kiss too long ago, only this time Emma had hope that she'd never have to face another tomorrow without Killian being at her side.

"You came back," Killian said, the relief in his voice more than evident as he stepped to her and Emma cut the distance between them just as fast, not stopping until she was in his arms again and sharing a kiss that breathed every bit of life and hope and wonder back into her that had been missing the past year.

It was a truly miraculous feeling, and a moment where Emma knew that everything was finally as it should be. This would be their fresh start and Emma was positive that nothing should come between them again. She was done doubting love and ready to hold onto it and never let go as long as she lived.

"I love you," Emma said as she pulled back from the kiss and the grin that he bestowed upon her gave Emma the courage to say the next part. "And you're going to marry me someday, Killian Jones, because you love me too."

"Aye, love, that's true enough. But just for the sake of tradition, and because I've spent a year aboard my ship dreaming of this moment, allow me to do this the right way."

With that Killian dropped down to one knee and pulled out a gorgeous ring right then and there with a beautifully cut diamond and a sea of stones around it. Emma should not have been surprised that he had a band selected already, but the fact that he was so sure of her as to bring this tonight made her heart ache in the most beautiful way. She was so full of love and happiness and the tears that formed in her eyes were a sign of that and a hint of just how right this moment that was about to come to pass felt to her.

"Emma, there has never been a moment since the first day that we met when you weren't the best part of my world. You were the light when all I had was darkness, the strength I clung to when I lacked my own, and you remain the hope in my heart for a future worth living. I love you with everything I am and I promise that there will never be a moment for the rest of our lives when you don't feel that love. Will you make me the happiest in all the realms and marry me?"

"Yes," she promised, reveling in the feeling of that cool metal gracing her finger and then the subsequent embraces that came with their new understanding.

Since the fear and the resistance had been cast aside, Emma let herself give over to this need that surged between her and Killian. Her actions were hardly those expected of a princess, and their kisses and touches dangled on the edge of something not befitting any sort of semi-public space, but Emma didn't care. She was done denying herself and she was ready to give into this and stop fighting this happily ever after from now on.

Emma could have spent forever out there in the gardens with Killian, sharing their continued promises that nothing would ever again separate them or question this love. Yet the party soldiered on despite their happy reunion, and her parents, understanding and supportive as they were, did make a reappearance to ask both Emma _and_ Killian to return to the ball. The two of them were happy to oblige, for though they'd love more of their quiet, private moments, they were now assured of many, many more to come.

…..

 _You're in my arms_

 _And all the world is calm_

 _The music playing on for only two_

 _So close together_

 _And when I'm with you_

 _So close to feeling alive_

 _A life goes by_

 _Romantic dreams must die_

 _So I bid my goodbye_

 _And never knew_

 _So close, was waiting_

 _Waiting here with you_

 _And now, forever, I know_

 _All that I wanted_

 _To hold you so close_

 _So close to reaching_

 _That famous happy end_

 _Almost believing_

 _This one's not pretend_

 _And now you're beside me_

 _And look how far we've come_

 _So far we are, so close_

 _Oh how could I face the faceless days_

 _If I should lose you now_

 _We're so close to reaching_

 _That famous happy end_

 _Almost believing_

 _This one's not pretend_

 _Let's go on dreaming_

 _For we know we are_

 _So close, so close_

 _And still so far_

 _ **Post-Note: So first and foremost I really want to thank my lovely reader who asked for this chapter. I am a sucker for CS and dances, and as much as I love them, I don't actually write that many EF AU fics so that in itself is always such a nice change. And then of course there was the slight angst and the eventual proposal, and it just all culminates in the usual fluff I'm trying to peddle here. So thank you for this recommendation, I loved it. As for everyone else thank you so much for reading, and if you have requested a song, no worries I am trying to make my way through the many prompts I have gotten and I will find a day to write all of them. Thanks again and hope you have a great rest of your day!**_


	144. Show Me

_**A/N: Short future fic from Emma's perspective on her wedding day to Killian. I know I have done many of these before, BUT, this song was a reader request, and the lyrics and the melody always make me think of wedding vows, so here we are. Besides, given the current climate of the show, I am searching for the fluffiest feels-filled fics and this seems like a good venue for some cuteness. Inspired by the song 'Show Me' by Idina Menzel.**_

 _We finally made it,_ Emma thought to herself as she gazed into the mirror in her bedroom and looked at the picture she made for in her wedding dress. _Today's finally here._

It was impossible for Emma to articulate her joy at that fact. This had been a long hard road to now, with ups and downs, highs and lows, but at the end of the day this was all she could ever want. In a few minutes time she'd be leaving this room and heading down the path of her chosen forever, coasting down an aisle that led to Killian, the man she loved and the one person in the world she wanted to build her future with.

There had been plenty of moments up to now when Emma doubted if they'd make it here. Things in their life together didn't always go exactly to plan, and there had been more than a few wrenches thrown into their path and obstacles for them to tackle head on. A lot of that work to getting here had been internal for both of them. Emma had to let go of her past hurts, and Killian had to learn to do the same. They both needed time to grow and to heal and to change for the better, and yet the way they'd done that was through finding each other. Even in the worst of times, when hope was hard to find, and the odds seemed stacked against them, they always found their way back home to each other.

Thankfully today the Universe wasn't intent on throwing any more trials in their way, and the world outside was perfectly situated to allow a real sense of peace. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the breeze coming through the window of her bedroom right now was soft and sweet, cool but still mild, like something from a daydream. It was a sign to Emma that the battle to get to Killian was largely over. They'd face more trials for sure, but now they'd have each other and be tied together in every way, facing everything as a team in the way she truly wanted.

"Oh Emma. You look so beautiful."

The watery words came from her mother, who must have stolen into the room while Emma was distracted by visions of the future. As Emma expected her mother's eyes were filled with tears when she turned to face her. Snow was truly on the precipice of a full-blown cry, but Emma had to stop that. If she didn't they'd both be shedding tears, and today was too happy a moment to do that. So instead of letting those feelings linger, Emma extended her hand to her mother and pulled her to look in the mirror with her. Here they stood side by side, enjoying a milestone so many mothers and daughters faced together, and it almost felt normal when so little in their lives ever did.

"I never thought I'd have this," Emma whispered to her Mom and then she flicked her glance to her mother's reflection and explained. "A wedding was never exactly on my radar, given the whole avoiding feelings and attachment thing…"

"Thank God you pushed through that, that Killian helped get you through that, and that you chose love in the end," Snow said and Emma smiled in reply.

Her mother had been very clear in her immense happiness for Emma and her future son-in-law, and that acceptance from both her parents, despite some of the darkness in Killian's past, had been so incredibly appreciated on Emma's part. It made an already special day all the more wonderful, because she knew everyone who she loved was celebrating not just for her happiness, but that she'd found that happiness with her true love who they all loved as well.

"Yeah. But there were moments in my old life when I wondered what it might be like. I always wanted my parents to be there, even if I never knew you, and now you are. You and Dad have been with me through every part of this, and I…"

Oh shit, here were those tears again, but this time it was her mother's turn to be strong. Snow turned Emma to face her and held Emma's face in her hands, looking at her with misty eyes, but a sincerity that could not be denied. It was a sure sign that some much needed words of wisdom and heartfelt motherly affection were coming, and Emma could hardly wait.

"There is nothing in this world that compares to being your mother, Emma. I only wish I could have been there more, but what we have had has been the greatest honor of my life. Seeing you these past few years, watching how brave you are to have hope when life taught you that you couldn't… that has been the best of adventures. And today we're starting another one. You and Killian are going to have a wonderful life together, Emma. I can feel it."

Emma's chest flooded with warmth at the thought, because she knew her mother was right. Call it intuition or what have you, but Emma could sense that they'd turned the corner. Maybe the forces of evil might come knocking again, but the harrowing separations, and the back and forth of pain and doubt, those were over now. This was the start of a new chapter, a brighter one, and hopefully a long and happy one too.

"Speaking of my future husband... how is he?" Emma asked, knowing that the captain she loved never did very well in situations where they were apart. He'd had to sleep aboard the Jolly last night and had missed seeing her all of today, and Emma could only imagine what he was putting her Dad and Henry through because of it. He wouldn't be cruel or mean in any way, but her pirate was at his best when she was close, and honestly it was the same for Emma.

"Well after I _finally_ convinced him that a wedding at sunset would be worth the wait, and that _you_ would love the ceremony to be at that time, he calmed a little bit. But there's been a fair amount of pacing and your Dad's gotten the brunt of Killian's more stubborn desires to see you sooner than he should."

"Are they already waiting?" Emma inquired, and her mother appeared to gauge her reasons for asking immediately. Killian wasn't the only one who was impatient, and Emma had been eagerly anticipating this next step so long, she didn't want to wait anymore, not if she could help it. Snow's lips curved into a knowing smile and she nodded.

"We can go anytime. He's waiting for you."

That was all Emma needed to hear to grab her bouquet of flowers and head out the door arm in arm with her mother. The walk down the stairs and through Emma and Killian's home wasn't rushed, but each step was charged with this blissful kind of energy. Emma could feel the space between her and her fiancé lessening, and the time was nearly here for her and Killian to say their vows and make their promises to spend forever with each other. And all the while that they walked towards that next moment, Emma took it all in, tracing every part of their story over again in her mind's eye that she could. The good and the bad, it was all a part of the fabric of their love, and Emma was grateful for it all because it led them to now.

Some people might think a few of those memories would be too painful for Emma or Killian to bear, but those old scars were merely the proof to Emma that this love was fought for fiercely and was hard earned. She knew that life wasn't always the picture perfect fairytale people wanted to believe in. Sometimes the people you love messed up, or you pushed them away when that was really the last thing you wanted. The important thing was forgiving people for their weaker moments and working to do better yourself. Both she and Killian had done that time and again, and now they were whole again, with trust and honesty constantly present in this relationship between them.

"Are you ready, Emma?" Her mother asked when they reached the doorway and Emma nodded.

"I've been ready for a long time," she confessed and her mother pressed a kiss to Emma's cheek before lightly knocking on the door. When she did it opened immediately to reveal Emma's father, brother, and Henry. Her mother smiled widely and took little Neal from his father, moving to the rest of the ceremony where she would have a front row seat to the festivities.

"Wow," her father said when he took Emma in in all her wedding day glory. She beamed up at him, loving the fact that her Dad hid nothing from her. His eyes were just as full and sparkling with that excess of emotion that her mother's had been, and yet Emma didn't hate it. In fact she embraced those feelings, and she took them for the gifts they were. Her Dad loved her unconditionally, and that love was truly evident from the awe in his voice.

"I dialed Mom back on some of the more princessy elements, but she got her way with the flower crown in the end. So what do you think?"

Emma did a little twirl in the dress that she'd chosen. It didn't billow out like a princess gown, but there were traces of the kind of dress she'd worn in Camelot. With the lace and the long sleeves, some might call it modest, but it was also exactly what Emma wanted. The details were exquisite, and the flowers in the details were pretty and never failed to make her smile. She felt beautiful in this dress, and she could hardly wait to see Killian's reaction when he finally saw her after waiting for so long.

"You look perfect, Emma. And you will _always_ be a princess no matter what you're wearing," her Dad professed and Emma giggled a bit at that, not feeling at all ashamed of how joyous she was right now. She deserved this. She and Killian both did.

"You look happy, Mom. Actually I don't even think happy does it justice," Henry mused and Emma took his hand and squeezed it tight.

"I am, kid. More than happy."

"Good," her father agreed. "Because if you weren't this would all be going in a very different direction. I don't go giving my daughter's hand to just any old person, you know."

Emma laughed at the teasing joke and Henry and her Dad joined in before both of them offered her their arm and they moved through the rest of the space with the same even steps that Emma and her mother had taken before.

At first Emma had anticipated that it would just be her Dad giving her away today, but then Henry had come to her and asked to do so too a few weeks back. He said it was important to him, and that he wanted Killian to really know just how much he approved. Emma had agreed on one condition – that Henry know he wasn't 'giving her away' at all. He would always be her heart and her first priority, and her getting married and eventually adding to the ranks of this family wouldn't change that. He was her son, her kid, and the person who had given her all the tools to believe in herself and believe in love, and that love and caring she had for him would never change.

"Wait for it," Henry said right when they were about to go around the bend, and Emma almost asked him what he meant, but then she saw the ceremony before them and she knew what he was after.

Her family had gone all out for this, and while it was elaborate and ornate, it was also somehow simple and intimate just as Emma had wanted. There was white everywhere, in the flowers, in the decorations, and yet there was color too, bursts of it that Emma felt were very reflective of her inner feelings right now. This wedding was gorgeous, but it also felt alive and vibrant, and not stuffy or too meticulously controlled. It was honestly awe inspiring, and brought tears to her eyes, but the most important part of all of it wasn't the flowers or the guests, it was Killian, who was waiting for her down the path of flower petals looking about to burst with love and excitement.

"You know, I don't think he's feeling it so much. Maybe we should turn around," David joked and Henry laughed at that.

"I don't think you'd love the reaction you got if you tried, from either of us," Emma said and her Dad agreed, letting the music fill the space between them as they made the rest of the way down the aisle.

It was a long march, a slow march, and one Emma would have liked to take faster, but she used this time to really take in the man she was about to marry. He was so handsome, dressed in a formal way that still let him be himself, and Emma was not unaffected. In fact her mind raced right past this moment and the reception to the night they'd have together when everybody left and her heart kicked up, but she counseled herself to be patient and to take every part of this in. There was no need to rush, when they could just be in this happy state of grace for a while.

By the time the moment came that she gave her Dad and Henry a kiss and handed off her flowers to put her hand in Killian's, Emma was on a whole new wavelength. The humor had largely fallen away and all that was left was this intense need to be in this moment with him and memorize every element so she never forgot how perfect this was. This was their day, a day they'd been building towards and would hold dear to their hearts forever, and it was just the start of everything to come.

"I love you, Emma," Killian whispered before anyone else could get a word in and Emma grinned at that, responding in kind and catching herself just before kissing him. He totally saw it though, and he let her know with another whispered promise that soon enough she'd get that kiss and he'd make it one to remember.

The ceremony was blessedly short, without some of the pomp and circumstance her mother had described as customary in the Enchanted Forest. It was more like the weddings in this realm, but Emma and Killian had designed it so there weren't all kind of readings and things. It was just the basics from Archie (who was their justice of the peace), and then their vows, which they'd designed to be personal and heart felt.

"Emma – I've tried time and time again to find the words to tell you how I feel. I've been striving for eloquence, but sometimes simplicity is the clearest way to show one your true heart. So I'll say this: I have loved you almost since the start, and though it seemed impossible that I could let go of my old life, you made that journey to something better a reality for me. I found strength through your strength, light through your kindness and acceptance, and hope through your love. You have been my northern star, the map that set me on a path of being more, and I promise here and now never to stray from that. I will do right by you and be the man you deserve and the man I've always wanted to be."

Emma could feel herself getting choked up, but she would not cave to those emotions. The tears would come, but she wanted them to wait just a little longer. As if he could read her mind, Killian smiled and brought her hand up to his lips to kiss lightly before continuing.

"Since meeting you, I've learned that life as a hero is never easy, but loving you, Emma, that's the most effortless thing I've ever done. You made it impossible not to fall under your spell, and even in our darkest moments, there never came a time when you have not meant the world to me. You, Swan, are a miracle - _my_ miracle - and I intend to show you that every day as long as we live that I was worth you taking the chance on."

"I'd pick you every time," Emma whispered and Killian's hand came up to her cheek, to wipe away one of the tears that had fallen as he whispered back.

"And I you, my love. I will choose you from now until my dying day, and ever after. You are it for me, my greatest dream and surest triumph. I love you."

Emma wasn't sure how she managed to get her voice to steady or to find the words after his touching vows, but she was adamant that she do so. Killian, after all, was always the one giving her grand statements and beautiful words, but today they should both reap the benefits of this love, and she'd find a way to let him know that she was just as deep in this as he was, and to convince him that they were equal in each and every way.

"Killian, the day we met you said you could read me like a book, and I thought at the time that was just a line from a cocky pirate who was _way_ too full of himself," Emma paused because there was a smattering of laughter from their guests and a chuckle from Killian too.

"But you proved even in those first moments that it wasn't a line. You saw the one thing that I'd struggled with more than anything in the world – trust. I couldn't bring myself to really trust anyone even when I wanted to and I had all but given up with trying. I thought I could love people and be there for my son and my parents even if I kept parts of myself from them, but you proved me wrong. You showed me over time and with so much perseverance that at the end of the day real hope requires absolute trust, and I can never thank you enough for that."

Killian ran his thumb across her knuckles lightly, his blue eyes staying trained on her face, and Emma could feel his silent promise that there was nothing she need thank him for. She could almost hear his words in his head, but she knew, even if he couldn't, that he'd managed to save her from herself by helping her have faith.

"We were both different people then, back there on that beanstalk, guarded and attached to lives neither of us wanted, but somehow, _together_ , we've come through that. We went through hell and worse to get to this moment. We tore down walls, weathered every storm, and through all of that my love for you has grown. It's bigger than anything I ever thought possible, and I know the reason for that is because we know each other, we understand each other, and we recognize that our key to happiness lies together.

"I don't know where exactly the road will lead us. I suspect there's a few more villains in our path or crises in our future, but I do know that every day we have together I intend to show you as you've shown me that there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. We're a team, Killian, and from this moment on I promise to never let you lose sight of that. I promise not to run unless it's to you, and not to lose my hope in you and in us. And I promise to love you, now and always."

There were a few more steps to go through, some of them incredibly memorable, like the moments when they both said _'I do'_ and when their wedding bands were slipped onto their fingers, but Emma was anxiously awaiting one moment in particular, and when it came she and Killian both struggled to contain themselves.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife -,"

The rest of Archie's words were lost for Emma and Killian, who gave way to their desires and stole that kiss to seal this union there in front of everyone. It was packed with emotion and promise and light, and though her family was there and the whole town was watching them, Emma and Killian didn't pull back until they were good and ready. When they did, Emma felt like a final part of her soul had clicked into place, and she was so relieved. Finally she had everything she'd ever wanted, and now the future was unlimited and her world was made new.

"Now what?" Emma asked, her voice low but jesting as the crowd of guests clapped and cheered for the two of them, and Killian only smiled at her, his hand cupping her cheek and his eyes searching hers and seemingly finding exactly what he was looking for.

"Now we live happily ever after."

Emma loved the sound of that, and in the end, she loved the reality so much better. Because they did find that happy ending they were looking for, and it was all so much more beautiful and worthwhile than anyone ever could have imagined.

….

 _Heaven knows I went through hell_

 _Trying to trust somebody else_

 _I had all but given up_

 _Cause I was never quite enough_

 _Couldn't tell I was going under_

 _Suddenly, suddenly that water_

 _Pulls you in, pulls you down_

 _Balancing on a tightrope wire_

 _Build the walls, build the walls up higher_

 _Until you, until now_

 _Baby, I feel it deep down in my bones_

 _There's a part of me no one else has known_

 _When you look, not afraid of what you see_

 _But you say show me, you say show me_

 _And I know you can see into my soul_

 _To the part of me no one else has known_

 _When you look in my eyes, I do believe_

 _I can show me, I can show me_

 _Breathing in and breathing out_

 _I won't look back and won't look down_

 _All the mess that came before_

 _Set me up for something more_

 _Couldn't tell I was going under_

 _Suddenly, suddenly that water_

 _Pulls you in, pulls you down_

 _Balancing on a tightrope wire_

 _Build the walls, build the walls up higher_

 _Until you, until now_

 _Baby, I feel it deep down in my bones_

 _There's a part of me no one else has known_

 _When you look, not afraid of what you see_

 _But you say show me, you say show me_

 _And I know you can see into my soul_

 _To the part of me no one else has known_

 _When you look in my eyes, I do believe_

 _I can show me, I can show me_

 _Baby, I'll leave it all out on the floor_

 _(I can show, I can show)_

 _Cause the past, it won't break me anymore_

 _(I can show, I can show)_

 _When you look in my eyes (I can show, I can show)_

 _I do believe (I can show, I can show)_

 _I can show me (I can show, I can show)_

 _I can show (I can show, I can show)_

 _Baby, I feel it deep down in my bones_

 _(Deep down in my soul)_

 _There's a part of me no one else has known_

 _(No one else has known)_

 _When you look, not afraid of what you see (Oooh)_

 _But you say show me, you say show me (Oooh)_

 _And I know you can see into my soul (see into my soul)_

 _To the part of me no one else has known_

 _When you look in my eyes, I do believe_

 _That you say show me (show me)_

 _And you say show me_

 _I can show me (Oooh)_

 _I can show me_

 _I can show me (I can show me)_

 _I will show me_

 _ **Post-Note: So as I go through these old prompts, I have to say that I am so thrilled for all of them. There is not a single suggestion I have received for this series that I haven't found to be lovely, and though it's taken quite a bit of time for some of these to get written, I want to assure all my lovely readers who have asked for songs that I appreciate them floating ideas my way. I am hoping to focus a little more on the mixtape in the coming week and get more of these off my list of to-do songs, but only time will tell. Anyway thank you to my lovely reader who asked for this song in particular, and thank you to all of you for reading! I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	145. Shape of You

_**A/N: Hey all! So I've been working on some of my larger multi-chapters recently, but today, in the wake of where we are at with the show, I just needed a fluffy AU oneshot. Emma and Killian meet at a bar one night and share a dance and some much needed flirting. It includes love at first sight vibes and a flashforward that shows how the one dance becomes so much more. Basically it's the mixtape at its best and goes with a great request multiple people have reached out with: 'Shape of You' by Ed Sheeran.**_

"Remind me again why we're doing this," Killian muttered as he and his best mate David walked into the bar across the street from the firm that they both worked in.

It wasn't a flashy place David had selected, but a loud one compared to Killian's usual haunts, bustling with music and people and a lot of energy. It was a place that Killian never would have ventured to of his own free will, but after days of David harping on him that they had to go out and do something here he was. Whatever people might say about Killian, that he worked too hard or wasn't the most friendly person alive, they couldn't say he wasn't loyal. After all, what else but loyalty to David could have gotten him out here on a Friday night?

"We're doing this because you don't have a life and I can't watch another weekend go by were you stay cooped up in the office billing hours to climb higher up the ladder. You're a partner for god sake. If you don't stop now, when will you?"

Killian bit his tongue in that moment, deciding it was better not to admit that his intent was not to stop. Stopping would mean losing, and he had no desire to do that. If he wanted to launch his own firm to compete in this city someday by the time he was forty, he needed all these hours. It was all an investment in a goal he'd had a long time, and any way nights out were overrated. They were always the same. Nothing was ever different, and Killian didn't see the enticement of spending too much time this way.

"I think this is all a ruse," Killian countered as they managed to get up to the bar, wave over a bartender, and put in their order. "I think you're out here trying to get laid and you needed a wingman."

"You really think so little of me?" David asked smiling in a way that told Killian that even if he wasn't totally right, he was onto something. "Alright fine. You _are_ a wingman tonight but it's not for me. It's for Will. This whole evening was his idea."

"Bloody hell," Killian groaned as the bartender handed him his drink. "Yeah we're gonna need to keep these coming mate. It's about to be a long night."

The words served a duel purpose, procuring Killian more of the rum he'd no doubt need to get through the evening, and signaling to David that, at least for the moment, Killian wasn't going to run away screaming. When David instructed the man at the bar to have them sent around to a table across the way, however, more of the pieces started coming together. It wasn't just three of them there tonight, but at least half a dozen people from the firm, all of whom feigned complete and total shock that Killian would be there.

"Well I'll be. Killian Jones in a setting dedicated to fun," his friend and colleague Graham said with a shit eating grin. "Color me impressed."

"Seriously mate, who even knew it was possible? I thought for sure your heart would give out the second David walked you in here. You looked terrified at the prospect of a non-working weekend," Will filled in, only rubbing in Killian's loner tendencies more and more.

"Yeah, yeah, get your laughs in while you can. You won't be laughing later when I leave your asses hanging and don't say a single word in your defense for whatever woman catches your eye."

"That's rubbish and you know it," Will challenged. "Besides, I don't need a defense. My catchiness speaks for itself."

"Maybe don't use the word 'catchiness,' mate. Makes it sound like you've got some sort of disease."

Killian deftly ducked a crumpled up napkin that Will tossed his way for that particular bit of teasing, but eventually he did feel himself growing marginally more comfortable. It was good to see his friends outside of work, and even if his mind sometimes wandered back to projects he could be finishing or strategies for next week's agenda, he did try his best to have a good time.

The evening didn't truly begin to click for him, however, until a moment came some twenty minutes later. One second Killian was listening to Graham go on about the game he'd snagged courtside tickets to earlier that week, and the next he was hooked on something else entirely. His attention caught on a striking woman across the floor donning a red dress and heels to match. She was beautiful – no the word didn't do her justice - she was gorgeous, stunning, something out of a fantasy he'd never be creative enough to imagine, and for a second Killian didn't know if she could be real, but after blinking a few times the woman remained and his body began to respond. His muscles tightened, his blood hummed just beneath the surface, and the need that clung low in his gut was unavoidable.

Shamelessly he stared at her, his eyes roaming that curved figure and wondering how the hell she could be real, and why in the world she was alone. All around her men were looking her way, casting appraising glances not so differently than his, but the woman paid none of them any mind. One bloke even tried to say something to her but she dismissed him cooly and with a composure Killian had to find attractive. She wasn't icy, just wary, and that slight chill in her demeanor so vividly contradicted the brightness of her appearance and the heat that she ignited in him that Killian couldn't fully comprehend her in the few moments he'd had the pleasure of seeing her thus far.

Yet despite all of that, the rush of seeing her couldn't compare to being seen by this mysterious stranger. When her eyes flicked up and met his gaze Killian was lost, totally consumed with her and her alone. The noises and the sounds filling this bar were gone, as were the people milling about between them. It was dizzying and almost maddening in the way that time stood still, but just the thought of her turning away now that she'd seemingly deemed him worthy cut him to his core. He had to keep this connection, suddenly it felt like the only thing in the world that mattered.

Killian had never been one for any kind of fairytale sap about the origins of love. He was practical and his whole life he'd believed that love was something that grew over time. First sight infatuations were a childish dream, but when his eyes landed on this woman, this siren with flowing blonde hair and an enigmatic expression that hinted at a brilliancy and guardedness that swirled together so temptingly, Killian was helpless to resist. Instinct overruled his earlier conceptions and though it might not be love exactly at first sight, it was recognition. This woman was important and in a sea of people who did little to entice his interests, just the sight of her sent this flooding sense of warmth through his body.

"Bloody hell," Killian whispered to himself, and the woman must have caught the action because the look of determination in her expression deepened, making her bright green eyes darken in an entirely transfixing way.

"What are you on about Jones… oh, well then. Looks like Killian's found a lady."

Killian wanted to tell Will to shut his bloody mouth, but more than that he wanted to approach this stranger at the bar and prove himself. He didn't understand that need that had clung to his chest like a vice, but before he could so much as stand, the mysterious woman was moving towards his table and Killian had this incredible burst of hope. Was she coming for him? Could she possibly feel this pull to him the way he did to her?

"What are you waiting for man?" David urged as he hit his arm into Killian's ribs. "Go talk to her before she gets here and Will gets a chance to open his mouth."

The threat of that happening was enough to get Killian moving, and as he walked away from the table it was impossible to avoid the fact that she was focused on him. Killian was joyous at the prospect but also frazzled with nerves. He needed to not fuck this up. Any other time a mistake would be fine, but not tonight, not with her.

"Killian Jones?" The woman asked, her voice flowing out and washing over him like warm waters in the Caribbean. Gods she was gorgeous, and too powerful a temptation for him to ever walk away from. Only after a second did he realize she already knew his name.

"Aye love, how did you…?"

His words trailed off as the woman handed him his work ID. Killian hadn't realized it was gone, but then again it could have fallen out of his jacket, which was back by the table. The worry over having lost it, however, completely died away when she handed it back to him and their fingers brushed together. It was a shock to the system and a not so subtle sign that this was big. Call it chemistry or lust or whatever, but there was something here, something Killian intended to cling to as long as he could.

"I found this on the floor over by the bar. I figured you might need it later."

"That's very kind of you…" He didn't bother hiding this dig for her name. Honestly Killian felt like he would give her anything in the damn world just for that one gift in return. He needed that tie and he wanted to know her in a way he couldn't readily explain or understand.

"Emma," the woman filled in and Killian's heart clutched tight in his chest.

"Emma," he said back, the name falling from his lips like a prayer and a promise all at once. "I'm indebted to you, love. It would have been a harsh reality Monday morning to realize this was lost."

The look of humor that reached Emma's eyes in that moment told him that some sort of jest was coming, and hell if wasn't near breathless with anticipation. He wasn't the kind of person who was overly prone to flirtation or kidding around in general, but right now he was jonesing for the chance to do just that.

"Do they give you architects a hard time with security? Here I was thinking it was a pretty low stakes line of work."

She no doubt had gleamed his occupation from the name of the firm on the badge, but still Killian didn't expect this lightness and levity. Where she'd been standoffish with others, Emma was opening to him, even in this tiny way, and Killian wasn't sure exactly how he knew, but he could sense that this was a blatant move on her part. If this were merely an act of kindness she'd have left by now, but here she stayed thankfully.

"That was your first mistake, love. We've got intrigue and adventure enough. It can't all be drawing and measurements."

The reward of Killian's joke was his new favorite sound in the world, a laugh from this miraculous woman he'd only just met. It was perfectly enchanting and totally honest. There was nothing fake about her reaction, and Killian wanted to make Emma laugh all night so he could relish the happiness that delightful sound brought forth.

"Good to know," Emma said, biting her lip. "Well, intrigue aside, I'm kind of glad you lost it."

"You are?" Killian asked, not daring to hope she'd go where he wanted with this, but feeling the deepest kind of satisfaction when she did.

"Yeah. How else would I have learned the real truth of architecture?"

Now it was Killian's turn to laugh and Emma's to enjoy it, but out of the corner of his eye he noticed a table across the room with three women, all of whom had their eyes intently fixed their way. He could sense based on their body language and then the way that they immediately tried to look away that they belonged to Emma, and Killian grinned as he nodded in their direction.

"Friends of yours?" Emma didn't even look their way, she just rolled her eyes and nodded.

"You could say that yeah," Emma responded, but even though Killian hadn't anything to go off of, he sensed that these people mattered to Emma.

Maybe it was the way her features had softened some despite the attempted sarcasm of her response, but there was a connection there, probably not unlike his with David or Graham or Will. The thought that he might be able to use that to his advantage, maybe convincing Emma to bring the two groups friends together for a little introduction occurred to him, but Killian wasn't quite ready to let go of this moment, the one where they were alone and where no one else had intruded on this blissful little bubble. He grasped at anything he could do to make her stay and keep her with him, going for an offer he could only hope would work.

"I'd really like to thank you properly for returning this, Emma. Can I buy you a drink?" Killian asked, wishing that the invitation sounded a little more collected to her than it did to his ears.

The shadow of a smile that had been there before came back in full force, and the sight of it filled Killian with warmth all over again. He wanted to know everything that could make Emma amiable and open, for he could sense she wasn't used to giving parts of herself so easily. She was an enigma, a challenge if you would, and Killian hadn't met anyone in a very long time who made him wonder more about what lay beneath the surface.

"I've already got a drink," Emma countered nodding her head back at the table with her friends, her smile widening and causing a rapidly increasing _thump thump_ for Killian's heartstrings. "But I wouldn't mind a dance."

"A dance?"

He parroted the words back more from shock than anything else. Maybe he was reading this wrong, but he hadn't taken this woman as the dancing type. She was calculated in a way that spoke to control, something Killian was well versed in himself, but the thought of sharing a dance with her was one he wanted. Her body flush against his in any capacity was totally desirable, so he could only hope she'd take his clarifying question in stride instead of thinking he wasn't interested.

"If you think you can handle it," Emma replied, the gauntlet thrown by the sultry way her voice warbled the words and her eyes flashed with a light of humor Killian wanted so badly to bottle up. How did she have this power over him already? They'd been speaking for a minute, maybe two, and already he felt like if she walked away from him he'd be losing something he could never replace.

"Perhaps it's you who couldn't handle it," he said but the next thing he knew that cockiness in his voice was evaporating as Emma took his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"Only one way to find out."

Without any further words cast between them, Killian followed Emma to the dance floor, caving to his instincts and this deep dwelling need he had to be close to her. It was very out of character for him, getting this close to someone this quickly, but with Emma it felt as natural as breathing. The rhythm of the music sounding around them lent itself to pulling her nearer, feeling the subtle curves of Emma's slender shape against him, and moving himself against her in tantalizing beats.

It was an almost out of body pleasure, but Killian's instinct was to soak every damn second of this in. His hands ran across the dip of her waist, and his eyes traced every delicate line of her body. He was in love with the shape of her after mere minutes, and in the back of his mind Killian was pretty damn sure that wouldn't be the only part of Emma Swan he could find himself loving.

These were dangerous thoughts to be sure, especially to a man like him who'd sworn off distractions of any kind, but when Emma cast a glance behind to him and her smiling eyes met his, he was a goner. Right then and there he knew that Emma held the key to everything. Rational or not he was hers, and he didn't have any intention of fighting off that feeling.

"I guess we call this one a draw," Emma said as the song they'd been dancing to melded into another. She turned around in his hold and lost the sway of her hips to music as she did. Killian swallowed harshly, trying to get his bearings in the company of such an intriguing, desirable stranger.

"I'm not so sure. I might need another dance to be certain," he said, his fingers coming up to brush a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. It was a shameless play to touch her again, but she allowed it and Killian was ever so grateful for that fact.

The throaty laugh that Emma set loose at his words was the single best reward Killian had ever won, and the need to do it again and again was undeniable, but that would have to wait at least for a moment. For right then Emma's friends decided to make their move towards Emma once more, and in order to keep Emma close to him through the night, Killian put forth that plan of bringing the groups together. It was a delicate balance and felt like a bit of a pitch if he were honest, but the collision of personalities worked perfectly, surprisingly enough, and the night ended up being one for the books.

Yet despite all of the fun that they had in the larger numbers, the most incredible moments to Killian were the ones he shared alone with Emma. The drinking and the dancing and the quieter stolen instances where the two of them shared whispered flirtations that set his heart racing, all of them were precious to him, memories in the making he'd never let go of as long as he did. And luckily for Killian tonight wouldn't be the end of his and Emma's story. As a matter of fact, it was just the beginning.

…

It was crazy to think what a difference a year could make. Sitting here in the same bar that his life had changed in twelve glorious months ago, Killian couldn't help but smile. This place had once been a burden to him, the representation of everything he didn't want, but in the end he'd been proven so wrong. What he needed more than the hectic craze of work or the constant competition at the firm was a life, and he'd found that through the remarkable powers of one woman, his Emma.

"How far away did Mary Margaret say they were?" Killian asked, knowing he'd already asked David a number of times when Emma and her friends would be arriving.

"Calm down, man. She's coming. Emma will be here soon enough." 

What David failed to see was that wasn't possible. In Killian's mind he never favored a moment when he and Emma weren't together, but today had been, as Emma's friends put it 'a guy free situation.' They'd all been left up to their own devices on this fine Saturday and Killian was left to wait until Emma would be back. Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad if she'd checked in with him a time or two as Mary Margaret had with David, but it had been radio silence since she left his arms this morning, and Killian wasn't too proud to admit he was troubled by that.

"Jeez. And here I was thinking that getting your ring on her finger would calm you down some. Clearly that didn't happen," David teased as he handed Killian a drink and Killian grinned again, thinking of how a month ago he'd finally managed to get himself together and secure the promise of forever from the woman who made his whole world.

He'd proposed to Emma in the romantic way a woman of her caliber deserved, and he promised that if she would choose him he would give her everything he had and love her endlessly. His love for her was guaranteed either way honestly, and whether she'd returned his affections or not he never would have let that love go, but knowing Emma was truly as desirous for this happy ending between them filled Killian with the brightest kind of joy. The wedding was still a few months off though, and while Killian had never carried a title he loved more than fiancé, he was eager to have that change to _husband_ sooner rather than later.

"I'll calm down when I know she's safe," Killian countered and David merely chuckled, realizing he was never going to convince Killian to see this differently. It didn't matter to Killian that Emma was totally fine and that he knew that rationally. She was simply too precious to him for Killian to ever take the risk. Emma Swan was his sunshine and his heart, and she deserved protecting, even if she was fully capable of protecting herself.

"Oi, Jones, what's with the long face? We've a party starting and you look like you're about to march off to bloody war!" Will chastised as he came in through the door and made his way to the bar. It was a hyperbolic statement of course, but Killian would admit that he had looked happier in past instances, and he could probably do with a little less open scowling.

"He hasn't heard from Emma all day so he's cranky," David filled in. Cranky, well that was one way to put it.

"Well of course you haven't heard from Emma. They've been spending the day – Ow! What the…?" Will winced and shook out his leg that David had not so subtly kicked in front of Killian's eyes, and with the introduction of pain to the mix, Will seemed to wise up to some secret Killian wasn't in on. "Oh right. Uh, never mind that. I'm just prattling on. Doing what I do best you know."

"Jeez Will, sound a little less convincing why don't you?" Graham said, finishing the rest of his drink and then looking at Killian. "We'd love to tell you what's up, man, but it's the kind of thing you'd much rather hear from Emma. Trust me."

Killian was tempted to dispute that fact. On the one hand he was anxious for answers and impatient to the extreme, but on the other hand Killian knew Graham was likely right. Whatever Emma had been up to with her friends was likely best heard from her. If only she would get here and tell him. Then he might not feel so bloody miserable as he did right now.

"Hey stranger. Wanna dance?"

Killian would know that lovely voice anywhere, and his eyes immediately flew to Emma, who had appeared out of nowhere as if he willed her into being, and though relief had manifested in the seconds he heard her voice, it melted to a sizzling form of heat and desire when he saw her. Bloody hell she was magnificent, effortlessly beautiful and totally transcending any beauty he'd ever seen before.

She was in red again tonight, a hark back to the first time they'd met, but somehow she was even more beautiful than on that fateful evening. Killian wouldn't say that was thanks to the diamond ring on her finger per se, but there was just something totally enthralling about knowing what they had together. They weren't two strangers meeting for the first time, but lovers and partners who'd chosen each other, and who had fallen a little more in love every day they shared together.

"More than you can possibly imagine," Killian responded, taking Emma's hand and remembering the first time they'd done this. They'd shared dozens of dances since then, hundreds maybe given all the nights they'd gone out since that first time, but that first one was still special to him and to their story, so much so in fact that Killian immediately recognized when she same song as on that night came over the speakers. "Is this your doing, love?"

"Maybe. I've got connections," she teased, making note of ties they both now had to this place. It had become a staple for them and for their friends, some of whom had even started dating themselves, and over the past few months they'd made nice with the owners, enough so that the request for a particular song wouldn't be a hard swing at all.

"So are you going to tell me the big secret?" Killian asked after a few bars of the song had passed between them.

He was tempted to wait, but the rhythmic sway of Emma's hips as she danced against him was hypnotizing. He'd forget his own bloody name if he weren't careful and Emma likely knew that too from the gleam in her eyes and the sultry hum of affirmation she gave him when he asked. She wasn't the least bit surprised that he was on to her, and she might not know that his mates had given her away, but Emma never tried to hide things from him. Not without intending to share the in the end.

"Something happened today… something I think you're going to like."

"Something I'll like more than having you in my arms right now? Does such a thing exist, love?" he teased, but it wasn't totally false. This was the best he'd felt in hours and was truly the first time he'd felt whole since he kissed her goodbye this morning.

"That depends. How badly do you want to marry me?" Emma asked and Killian's eyes grew wide and his hands tightened on her slightly.

"More than I want anything in the world, aside from making you happy. That'll always come first."

The responding love in Emma's gaze was a telltale sign that he'd said the right thing, but it was the truth. He wasn't trying to feed her a line or anything like that. That was truly how he felt. Emma's happiness was his happiness and he felt like he was handmade to try and give her that where life had been sparing in the good things it brought Emma's way before.

"Well what if I told you I don't want to wait? What if I said I didn't want to see another sunset come and go without being your wife?" Was she serious? God he hoped she was.

Killian's eyes shifted to the door immediately, scanning the place for the closest exit as his mind raced on how he could get this done. There were a lot of details to finalize and elements to secure. They'd need a new venue, and everything. There would be some people to contact, but honestly everyone they really cared about was already here. He could do this – hell he _would_ do this no matter what it bloody took. When Emma laughed, however, his eyes moved back to her, finding in her good humor more hope that this was real and possible. Then her fingers came up to trace along his jaw and her eyes heated ever so slightly.

"I got a call yesterday that the church had a last minute cancellation, and if you want, I can be Mrs. Emma Jones tomorrow instead of waiting for -,"

Killian couldn't wait to hear the rest of it. Maybe it was rude to cut the woman he loved off, but the kiss that he placed on her lips was immediately well received and reacted to, and just as eagerly as he was kissing her, Emma was kissing him back. It was a silent show of understanding and a vow made between them that this was exactly what they both wanted. They'd spent enough time waiting, and for Killian especially, who had known that this was true love from that very first night, knowing that the wait was almost over was the surest relief. Tomorrow Emma would be his bride, and tomorrow they'd get to start the forever he'd been dreaming up for months and hoping to make real.

"So all day you were…" Killian trailed off when they parted, too wrapped up in the flush on Emma's cheeks and the way she licked her lips playfully before smiling at him.

"I was getting things ready for tomorrow. I said we should go for just the church and do something small so I could be home sooner, but everyone else had other ideas. It's not _exactly_ what we planned, but it's close."

"The details won't matter to me, Emma. What _will_ matter is you walking down that aisle to me and the two of us saying 'I do.' That'll be the single best moment I've ever known, the moment I become your husband, and if you're telling me we can have tomorrow… then I'm in, love. I'm all in."

"Good. I love you, Killian," Emma whispered.

"And I love you, Emma. Now and always."

And so they spent the rest of the night enjoying this impromptu pre-wedding celebration. It was filled with laughs and love and friends, and though it wasn't what he'd anticipated, Killian couldn't have dreamed of anything better aside from the wedding itself, which ended up being perfect for Emma and for him in every way, shape, and form.

…

 _The club isn't the best place to find a lover_

 _So the bar is where I go_

 _Me and my friends at the table doing shots_

 _Drinking fast and then we talk slow_

 _You come over and start up a conversation with just me_

 _And trust me I'll give it a chance now_

 _Take my hand, stop_

 _Put Van The Man on the jukebox_

 _And then we start to dance_

 _And now I'm singing like_

 _Girl, you know I want your love_

 _Your love was handmade for somebody like me_

 _Come on now, follow my lead_

 _I may be crazy, don't mind me_

 _Say, boy, let's not talk too much_

 _Grab on my waist and put that body on me_

 _Come on now, follow my lead_

 _Come, come on now, follow my lead_

 _I'm in love with the shape of you_

 _We push and pull like a magnet do_

 _Although my heart is falling too_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _And last night you were in my room_

 _And now my bedsheets smell like you_

 _Every day discovering something brand new_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Oh I oh I oh I oh I_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Oh I oh I oh I oh I_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Oh I oh I oh I oh I_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Every day discovering something brand new_

 _I'm in love with the shape of you_

 _One week in we let the story begin_

 _We're going out on our first date_

 _You and me are thrifty_

 _So go all you can eat_

 _Fill up your bag and I fill up a plate_

 _We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour_

 _And how your family is doing okay_

 _Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the backseat_

 _Tell the driver make the radio play_

 _And I'm singing like_

 _Girl, you know I want your love_

 _Your love was handmade for somebody like me_

 _Come on now, follow my lead_

 _I may be crazy, don't mind me_

 _Say, boy, let's not talk too much_

 _Grab on my waist and put that body on me_

 _Come on now, follow my lead_

 _Come, come on now, follow my lead_

 _I'm in love with the shape of you_

 _We push and pull like a magnet do_

 _Although my heart is falling too_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _And last night you were in my room_

 _And now my bedsheets smell like you_

 _Every day discovering something brand new_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Oh I oh I oh I oh I_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Oh I oh I oh I oh I_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Oh I oh I oh I oh I_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Every day discovering something brand new_

 _I'm in love with the shape of you_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _I'm in love with the shape of you_

 _We push and pull like a magnet do_

 _Although my heart is falling too_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Last night you were in my room_

 _And now my bedsheets smell like you_

 _Every day discovering something brand new_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _Come on, be my baby, come on_

 _I'm in love with your body_

 _Every day discovering something brand new_

 _I'm in love with the shape of you_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you so much to the readers who requested this song, and to all of you lovely readers who reach out to me with comments and reviews of these chapters. It's so fun to write these little oneshots and it's also fun to see what you guys thought and hear your ideas for stories. There is definitely more to come for the mixtape (though I reached my 400K word milestone a few chapters back and I can't quite believe it!). Anyway, thanks again to everyone and I hope you all have a great rest of your day!**_


	146. She's Got Legs

_**A/N: This is a reader prompted AU based on the ZZ Top music video for the song 'Legs.' If you haven't seen the video no worries, but if you want an idea of where I am going with this, it might help. Basically it includes Emma as a kind of wallflower and Killian as the one person in town who is kind to her. It features a make over from some new friends, CS love confessions, and a more hopeful Emma than we usually get to see and by the end the fluff is off the charts and the happy ending is in full force. Hope you all enjoy!**_

 _Just keep your head down, Emma. It's when you make eye contact that the problems start._

Ridiculous as it was, these kind of thoughts were hardly new to Emma Swan and her hesitancy to meet the gazes of her not-so-friendly neighbors made up items one through ten of reasons why she needed to get the hell out of dodge. She was close to getting there to. A month or two more and she'd have all the money she needed saved up from the shop she worked in to get in her bug and comfortably leave this place behind for good. Maybe then she could start those college classes she'd been thinking of enrolling in and get a better job with more stability. But for now she was still here and the key to time passing quickly was to stay as anonymous as she could.

"Well if it isn't little miss thang gracing us with her presence," one of the guys on their bikes lined in front of the restaurant said, and Emma closed her eyes, cursing that they couldn't just leave her be for one freaking day.

"Looking good, sweetheart," another said before giving out a mockingly approving whistle.

"She might be if she didn't have those stupid glasses," a woman next to him said with a sneer and a dismissive hand wave as Emma opened the door and moved inside.

God what was with people and her glasses? It's not like Emma put them on and was suddenly hideous, but they were always a sticking point, and as much as part of her hated that, they were also a shield of sorts to keep the world at a safe distance. So was the casual, almost unflattering way she dressed and the rest of her mousy appearance. The last thing Emma wanted was attention, at least from most of the people in town.

There was one person in this place that could brighten her world though, and he just so happened to work at this very diner that she was walking into. _He_ was the exception to the rule in this town, the only individual she'd ever met here and wanted to speak to again, and though they only ever seemed to find each other in fleeting moments, those were the moments Emma clung to. When a day was over and she lay in bed at night, dreaming of a new life, he would be there too even if they barely knew each other. Emma's instincts said he was a good man, a kind man, and one who she was undeniably and totally attracted to.

"Good morning, Emma," a voice said from across the counter and in that instant Emma's heart skipped a beat. Killian was here just as she'd hoped he would be, and he was offering that same slightly tilted smile that he gave her every time they crossed paths.

Killian Jones was someone Emma had met a few months back when he took a job at the only diner/bar in town, and to say that he didn't fit in with the rest of the miscreants in this part of the world was an understatement. Emma's experiences with people here had proven to her that everyone was superficial and only interested in themselves. If you weren't the prettiest or the most popular social butterfly you were lesser than them, and since Emma had always preferred a good book to the coolest parties, she stuck out like a sore thumb.

But Killian never made her feel that way. He saw past the armor she wore against the rest of the world, and he showed interest in her all the same, making Emma feel like she was more than the box she'd been put in for so long when he did. Those piercing blue eyes of his swirled with sweet sincerity and something deeper and a little darker all at once, and when they warmed like they were in this instance, Emma always felt a tightening in her gut and a rush flow through her that no one else had ever inspired. The movies would call it lust, but there was something underneath that too. The bond that they'd been slowly creating as the weeks went on felt intense and important, even if they weren't the best of friends, and Emma's ties to Killian felt more like they meant more than mere sexual attraction.

"Good morning. Busy today?" Emma asked, biting her lip as soon as she'd uttered the question. She always wanted to be a little more collected or well spoken when she saw him, but despite her slight awkwardness in her tone and movements, Killian's grin remained in place and his good humor never faltered.

"You could say that, yeah. The bikers are back as I'm sure you can tell."

Emma nodded as she took the coffee and her usual Danish from Killian, not loving the town's new guests in the slightest. Not that she had anything against motorcycles or the people who rode them on the whole – she just found the people in this club in particular that seemed to roll through here every few weeks to be lacking in manners, politeness, cleanliness, and brains. Other than that they seemed totally fine.

"Did they give you any trouble?" Emma asked, knowing that there had been a few times when Killian didn't put up with their crap and where things had gotten tense. She was always worried for his safety when those instances came, but Killian said he'd seen scarier men than them before, and he wouldn't waste fear on men like that.

"Nothing I can't manage, love. Don't let this heinous apron fool you. I've a few tricks up my sleeve yet."

Emma smiled at that, letting the lingering lilt of his accent wash over her as his words sank in. Killian was funny, witty in a way few people in this town were, but Emma believed him when he said he could handle himself. She didn't know a ton about his past, just that there had been some element of military service at some point and that he hadn't any living family either (thus the minimal roots that led him to this town), but she saw in him something she'd always seen in herself – underneath that smile he was a survivor, and he'd weather the storms that came because that was what needed to be done.

"So, tell me, any new adventures on the horizon today, Swan?"

Killian asked the question as he nodded toward the book in her hand and she glanced down at the cover. It was one she'd picked up at the library last night after closing the shop and she was already half way through with it, but so far it had been good. It was set in Europe, with castles and murder and intrigue and to say it put her small town life to shame was an understatement. But before she could share her opinions with Killian, as she often did in their morning talks, someone knocked into Emma at full force. The impact sent the book flying to the ground with a loud _thump_ and if Emma's reflexes hadn't been top notch her breakfast would have fallen too. But as it was she spared them all the huge mess and looked to the offender.

 _Oh great, Zelena,_ Emma thought to herself as she looked at the sneering woman who never could seem to leave Emma be. She was always fighting with everyone really, but for some reason she took extra pleasure in watching Emma squirm.

"Oops. Sorry about that _Gemma_. I didn't see you there."

Emma barked out a laugh as she bent to retrieve the book and shook her head. Not only was this woman rude enough to knock her shit over and then give a fake apology, but she also purposefully got her name wrong even though she'd been told Emma's actual name a hundred times. Not that Emma would correct her. That would only feed into Zelena's mean spirited ploy, and Emma wouldn't dare give her the satisfaction.

"But who could blame me? You really are _so_ good at being invisible."

"Don't talk to her like that," Killian practically growled from behind the counter, his hands forming tight fists as he gripped the edge, but Emma didn't like the idea of him taking a stand like this. It was too risky, and after all this was her fight not his.

Emma's eyes flew up to his and when their gazes clashed she shook her head, silently pleading with him not to pursue this. The last thing she wanted was for him to get fired. There were such slim pickings in this town for work that if he got canned for disrespecting a customer he'd probably have to leave and then she'd be alone. She was already alone enough as it was, she couldn't lose Killian too. Just the thought of that happening caused a tightness to form in her throat, and it took a lot of effort to push through that horrible feeling and say anything at all.

"I'll see you later," Emma whispered as she handed him her money quickly, their fingers brushing against each other and sending a familiar zing of want through her, but Emma didn't dare let their gentle graze linger despite how bad she'd like to. Instead she retreated through the front door back into the mild spring morning.

It only took a minute or so for Emma to get away from the crowd inside, but that was too long in Emma's book. She'd never be comfortable there amongst those people, and she'd never feel like she fit in. When she was finally a safe distance away she felt like she could breathe again, yet part of her regretted that Killian couldn't come too. Their conversation this morning had been cut short, and he had that way of calming her and helping her get through her day like nothing else ever seemed to be able to.

Thoughts of the effect that Killian had on her and the way he'd jumped in to start to defend her honor with Zelena rattled around in Emma's mind on the short walk to work. The shop she helped out in wasn't anything fancy, and calling it a boutique like the sign said outside was a stretch. It was more thrift store than anything else, but it helped pay the bills and her boss was mostly reasonable. Okay reasonable was putting it way too kindly. She was half way to bat shit crazy and very demanding, but today was her day off, meaning Emma would be running things on her own without the ever watchful eye of her employer. For that she was more grateful than she could say.

With the ease of a routine that she knew well at this point, Emma got the store opened and ready for customers, not that she expected very many given the mix of the unseasonably warm weather and the arrival of the bikers. Most townies would be avoiding the area until they were gone, and the bikers… well they weren't exactly frequenting this shop. So when the bell rang not two minutes after Emma unlatched the lock on the front door she was surprised.

"Can I help you?" Emma asked the three women who walked in. They weren't from around here, of that Emma was certain, but it wasn't totally unheard of for people to pass through these parts. This town were off a major highway, and it made for as good a place to fuel up as any other in about a hundred mile radius.

"Honey, this is a more of a 'can _we_ help _you'_ situation," the tallest one said with a smirk. It was a sassy reply, and one that Emma's guard rose a little at, but there was something in the girl's manner that said she wasn't trying to be rude. Whatever the angle these girls were playing right now, all three of them looked eager to assist Emma in something. "I'm Ruby, and this is Mary Margaret and Belle."

The other two girls waved at Emma and offered friendly smiles, which shouldn't have felt so bizarre except that Emma didn't have much experience with those. Aside from Killian, she didn't have people going out of their way to be kind. This was new and fresh, and the fact that that was true was so totally depressing. Damn she needed to get out of this town, and she _really_ needed to learn how to make friends.

"Emma. And I'm sorry, you want to _help_ me?" Emma replied. "How are you looking to do that?"

"Well we were just at that diner across the way…" the pixie-haired girl named Mary Margaret said.

"Oh great," Emma said wearily. So they'd clearly seen that less than stellar interlude.

"Yeah we saw it. She was terrible, and treating a book like that? Who would do something so monstrous?" Emma offered her first real smile at the girl named Belle's words. She was clearly a fellow bibliophile and the dramatic shake of horror she gave pretty accurately represented Emma's internal response when Zelena had made her move.

"She's a real witch if you ask me," Ruby said as she flicked her hair over her shoulder and Emma chuckled.

"You have no idea."

"But before she so rudely interrupted, we noticed you and diner guy having a little moment. What's the situation there?" Ruby asked, not bothering to sugar coat or beat around the bush. The mention of Killian set Emma's blood humming again and she felt a newfound awareness that hadn't been there a second ago, but she tried to play it off as no big deal.

"There's no situation. We're… friends."

"Friends who are in love with each other," Mary Margaret said before looking apologetic when she saw Emma's shocked and alarmed reaction. "Oh sorry, was that a secret? You two just were so cute together. I figured it had to be love."

"You should have seen the way he was when you left," Belle added. "It killed him to watch you go. I thought he was going to quit right then and there and run after you. Hell that's the reason we stayed as long as we did."

"So…" Ruby urged, not willing to let Emma off the hook though her friends were getting distracted with the details of what they thought was happening.

"It's – well it's – it's complicated," Emma finally answered, but she might as well have said that she wanted to get married and have Killian's babies because the three other women looked practically giddy from her reaction. Emma felt her cheeks flaming red and she pushed her glasses further up her nose in an unconscious nervous tick.

"Does it have to be?" Belle asked as she popped up on the counter top, breaking so many protocols as she made herself at home. "I think you should go for it. He was totally into you too. And after all, you never know unless you try, right?"

Belle posed a very good point, one that Emma had wrangled with time and time again. She wasn't normally a terribly shy person, at least she never saw herself that way. An avoider? Definitely. Someone who wanted to not be on the radar of people she didn't care about? That too. But Emma wasn't scared of making the first move. She was scared of letting Killian in and then him realizing she wasn't the girl he thought she was.

Right now he probably had this pretty little picture of her in his head. Emma was the town wallflower with a perfect (if anonymous) past that didn't have scars and issues of any kind. But that was so far from the truth. She was the kid no one had wanted, in and out of so many foster homes her caseworkers lost count, and she had never known what love was a single day in her life. How could he want someone like that? He'd have to be crazy to sign up for a relationship with her.

"He'd be better off not getting tangled up with me," Emma said, feeling a little deflated as she admitted that aloud.

"Bullshit," Ruby said and her two friends gasped as Emma looked at her head on. "Let me guess: you've got a checkered past, abandonment issues, and more baggage than any one person has a right to own?"

"Pretty much," Emma responded when the initial shock of the correct reading wore off.

"I've heard that story before. Maybe not your volume, but I've skimmed the book, and as someone with a similar… how would one of your books say it, Belle? A 'tale of woe,' I gotta tell you that all of this is a choice," Ruby said, waving her hand at the store and the town at large. "That man likes you at the very least and is almost definitely head over heels in love with you. So let the man love you. It shouldn't be so hard since you want him just as bad."

Emma let all of those words hang heavy in the air between them and she allowed Ruby's argument to sink in. Happiness was a choice, at least that was what Ruby was getting at, and maybe she wasn't so wrong about that. Perhaps all the hiding and the avoiding and the running was why Emma was so lonely. Here she was, having finally found someone she wanted to let in and she was holding him at arms length for no reason other than fear. Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, fear that she wasn't good enough…

"So what do I do?" Emma asked. "Do I just tell him?"

"You could!" Mary Margaret said cheerfully. "Or we could have a little fun first."

Emma was down for fun whether she was technically work or not, but when she discovered what the friends' idea of entertainment was she hesitated. Their thoughts were straight out of one of those cheesy teen movies: give the unassuming ugly duckling a makeover and transform her into a swan. But Emma was resistant to the idea. If Killian didn't like her as she was normally, why should she try to be someone else?

Only after all of them swore up and down a dozen times that it wasn't about Killian but about Emma feeling more confident did Emma cave, and in the end, despite her hesitations, she was glad for her choice. The hours they spent that day going through all of clothes in the store and sharing lunch from the one good pizza place in town were easily the best times Emma had had since… well ever. She didn't really ever do the whole friends thing, but soon enough it felt like she actually fit in with these girls. She didn't follow every inside joke the three of them shared, but there was an ease and accessibility that Ruby, Mary Margaret, and Belle offered that made Emma feel welcome and wanted in a way she'd never been before.

The only problem was they lived a world away in some small town in Maine and they were all in college while Emma was… clawing through a life she hated for what she didn't know. That was the one gray cloud that remained throughout the day, and for Emma it was one she tried to fend off as best she could. She didn't want to ruin things by being pessimistic, but what were the chances any of them would stay in touch? For all Emma knew maybe they saw her as this month's good deed or charity case and where she'd always remember how much fun she'd had, they might forget her as soon as someone better came along.

"Jackpot!" Ruby yelled at one point when she found something she clearly wanted Emma to try on. They'd made her try on at least a dozen outfits already, but the three of them were picky, and where every outfit had had at least one fan, there was always someone else that thought they could do better. "Now _this_ is going to blow lover boy away. One hundred percent satisfaction guarantee."

Emma laughed as she shook her head and took the outfit back in the fitting room, and she rolled her eyes when Mary Margaret insisted she try on some heels to go with it. This was not only totally out of the ordinary for her, it was ridiculous. Emma was going to look beyond stupid she was sure, wearing heels in a diner of all places, but then when she stepped out of the dressing room and everyone's jaw dropped, Emma's opinions started to falter. Then she caught a glimpse of her reflection and she was shocked into silence too.

"Wow," Belle exclaimed as they all looked in the full-length mirror admiring the changes that this ensemble and the afternoon had brought about for Emma.

"What she said," Mary Margaret and Ruby said at the same time, making Emma smile, but her eyes stayed on the relative stranger in front of her, someone she hadn't seen in a really long time if ever.

She looked totally different now than she had when she walked into work this morning. Her glasses were gone (they'd been gone the second Emma admitted she didn't totally need them), her hair was loose and curling up in the way it often did when it dried on it's own, and the clothes she was wearing were actually made to fit. The soft white sweater and the pink skirt were flattering and though it wasn't fancy, she felt pretty and that was something Emma wasn't particularly used to.

"I can't believe that's me," Emma whispered and the three friends all reached out for her in an affectionate way, a way that warmed her heart and only made the moment brighter.

"That's all you, Ems. Remember that. We didn't change anything that mattered," Ruby said, giving her a nickname and in extension offering Emma so much more. This might just be her favorite day ever and she'd always be grateful for it as long as she lived.

"Thank you guys for all of this. You were, like, my fairy godmothers or something."

Belle, Ruby, and Mary Margaret all laughed at new titles, but Emma really meant it. This felt like magic to her, and they would probably never realize just how much their kindness meant to her. But even as Emma expressed her sincere thanks, that sadness from before permeated into the moment. The friends were all leaving town today. Actually they were supposed to already be on the road back to Maine. This town was just a pit stop on their way back home from Spring Break, and so just as soon as she'd made friends, Emma was destined to lose them.

"Maybe we could delay a few days," Belle said suddenly, as if reading Emma's mind. "I know we have class Monday but if we drive the whole time in shifts, we could probably stay here at least one night right?"

Mary Margaret immediately started nodding and Emma felt the flicker of hope returning. She couldn't rationally explain it, but today had just been so fun and so different that she didn't want to let it go. Maybe she could linger in this dream of having friends for a little while longer. But then Ruby gave them all a skeptical look and replied in a thoroughly surprising way.

"Or we could just skip that and bring Emma with us."

"What?!" Emma said, totally not believing her. "Are you crazy? You hardly know me!"

"We know enough," Ruby said, sharing a look with Mary Margaret and Ruby.

"No you really don't. I could be crazy – hell I could be a serial killer!" Emma said, trying to convince Ruby that she was being stupid, even though Emma was neither of those things.

"I'm not totally up to speed on the whole identifying a serial killer thing," Belle replied. "But I think we would have caught some red flags at this point. Something would have given you away."

The attempt at humor soothed something in Emma, but she still held firm, if not for their sake than for hers. This was a huge thing. Moving was her goal, yes, but she'd never had any idea of moving to Maine. Then there was the question of having a place to stay or finding an apartment. What would she do for work? Would she even like Storybrooke enough to call it home? There were just too many factors and so little time.

"Come on, Emma. You're dying to get out of this town, and Storybrooke might not be the fanciest or the most interesting place but it's our home, and it could be yours too. I know of at least three apartments that were listed when we left, all with totally reasonable rent, and worst case we could always hook you up with a job at Granny's," Ruby said as Belle and Mary Margaret chorused their agreement.

"Oh please Emma, come with us! It would be great, and all you need to get in state tuition at U Maine is to live there for six months," Belle said, tempting Emma with the schooling she'd admitted to wanting in the hours that they had bonded today.

"Plus summer in Storybrooke is the best. Days at the beach, home made ice cream, picnics in the park... You have to come, Emma," Mary Margaret insisted.

"I want to…" Emma said, trailing off because it hurt too much to tell them no. Beautiful as those dreams might be, it just couldn't work, at least she didn't think that it could.

"What have you got to lose? You told us yourself you don't have any roots here, so what's holding you back?" Belle asked.

 _Killian_ , Emma's mind said definitively. That was the only thing keeping her here aside from her own fears about packing up and starting somewhere new only for it to end up like this again. Whether it was borderline insane or not, Emma was truly tempted by this offer since it meant she might get the chance to have some real friendships for once in her life in a town that sounded way better than this one, but she'd always wonder what-if when it came to Killian, and despite her hang ups about telling him how she felt the past few months, Emma didn't think she could bear to just leave him behind without him knowing the truth.

"Killian can come too, you know. There isn't a limit on new neighbors. All you have to do is ask," Ruby urged and though Emma expected some sort of mental resistance to this idea, she didn't find any.

Truth was Emma was so sick and tired of living this way, stuck in this place that she never wanted to call hers and planned to leave since the moment she got here. This might be reckless and crazy, and maybe she'd regret it, but at least she'd be taking a chance. For once she'd be living instead of just surviving, and the thought of the potential pay off between finding friends, a better life, and having Killian too… it was just too sweet a possibility for Emma to walk away from.

"This is crazy," Emma whispered, feeling herself begin to cling to this new plan like a life line. She wanted to believe in this so badly, and though in the past having faith had brought her nothing but disappointment, she was willing to give it a try.

"Maybe so," Mary Margaret said. "But the most important thing is that you follow your heart, Emma. So what's it telling you?"

Emma didn't feel a need to respond with words, but when she marched over to the front door and flipped the 'open' sign to 'closed' her new friends followed her intentions. They eagerly scurried outside and waited for her on the pavement as she locked up the place and then, before she could lose her nerve, she strolled over to the town diner to see Killian and tell him what was what. Given the time of day, Emma was nearly certain that his shift was ending right now, but she still had to walk into the diner to find him, which required her to steady herself and prepare for the worst.

The second she walked in a hush fell over the room and Emma felt everyone's eyes on her. All of that attention was unwanted, and the open leering from guys who had either ignored her or been downright rude before made her skin crawl. Couple that with the gawking girls who had given new definition to the term 'mean' since her arrival and Emma was ready to duck and run.

"Damn, book girl had legs under there the whole time?" A slime ball named Walsh asked from his spot besides Zelena in the corner booth and Emma rolled her eyes, not even deigning that with a response as Zelena shoved at the man, clearly angry that he was focused on Emma. The witch could have him for all Emma cared. She was here for one reason and one reason only.

And then Emma saw him. Killian came back towards the front, done for the day just as she'd expected. His apron was long gone and Emma's heartbeat kicked up again at the sight of him. He looked totally handsome and a little bit like a bad boy in that leather jacket he'd had in the back all day and Emma licked her lips, thinking about shedding that thing off of him as soon as possible and getting her hands on that body that had tempted her for weeks. Then he looked up in her direction, and as soon as he saw her he froze and everything else faded away.

"Emma?"

That was it; just the reverence that he said her name with was enough to have Emma pushing through the crowd, and before she could think better of it she pulled him down right there in front of everyone and kissed him. It was a shock to the system from the moment they touched, but Killian was with her only a second after her lips brushed against his. This had been months in the making, an embrace Emma felt like she'd been waiting for her whole life, and pulling back from it was next to impossible, but she had to in order to get this next part out.

"I love you, Killian."

A tiny trickling of fear came out to play as she said the words, but it didn't get a chance to grow or spread because as soon as she made that quiet confession, Killian beamed at her in a way that made her heart skip almost painfully. He looked so damn happy, and there was also something more underneath that gaze, a heat and a desire that had been growing between both of them for months. Finally he was letting it out, giving up those more gentlemanly tendencies and running those tantalizingly rough hands of his over her body in an almost possessive way.

"God it's good to hear that, love," he replied, his voice gruff with emotion and sending a delicious thrill down her spine.

"It is?" Emma asked and he kissed her again this time with a softer touch but a lingering promise that slow and sensual would be just as dizzying as hard and fast when it came to the two of them.

"Aye, because I'm in love with you too, Emma. I have been since the first moment I saw you."

Emma felt herself blushing at the words, and she was so wrapped up Killian that she continued to give their audience absolutely no mind at all. In the back of her consciousness she knew people were staring, and among those people were Ruby, Belle, and Mary Margaret, but all her fixation was aimed at Killian, and though she was happier than she could ever articulate that somehow he loved her too, she still had one last thing to say.

"I'm leaving town tonight. There's this place in Maine… I'm hoping it'll give me the fresh start I'm looking for."

There was a level of pain in Killian's eyes at her statement, and for a second he seemed to not understand that Emma was about to invite him along too. But even with all of that, Emma could feel his sincere wish to see her happy. She felt the way his hand ran across her lower back in a soothing motion, and the way he tried to keep his face controlled even though he was hurting. Before he could doubt himself or what she wanted for the both of them anymore, however, she gave her final pitch.

"Come with me," she whispered, and it wasn't a question but a real, earnest plea. "I know it's totally nuts, and maybe you want to take back what you just said about loving me because I'm insane but-,"

Killian interrupted her words with another kiss and this time Emma knew fully that he was coming. She couldn't imagine being more filled with love or hope or excitement. _Finally_ things were going her way, and this was the moment she'd always look back on as the one where everything really changed. She'd made her choice to find a new life worth living, and Killian had chosen that too. But when he pulled back and brushed a strand of her hair from in front of her face and behind her ear, his words of affirmation to that effect still took her breath away.

"You, Emma Swan, are the only reason I even landed in this place at all. I met you that first day and knew I'd found what I'd been looking for. I've been a fool to wait so long to tell you, but you're it for me Emma. So if you're telling me there's a dream you have of someplace else, I'm with you. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth, love."

"Well technically Storybrooke is just the edge of the eastern seaboard…" Belle said from where she and Mary Margaret and Ruby had been watching, and Mary Margaret immediately slapped her arm. "Ow! I mean, sorry, ignore me. You were having a moment."

"That's alright, love," Killian said to Belle while his eyes remained on Emma, looking at her like she was the sun and stars and all good things wrapped into one. It was an intoxicating sensation, and was rivaled only by his subsequent promise that this thing between them was destined to last. "I intend to have a lifetime of such moments with Emma. This is only the start."

And it was. From that point on life took a real turn for Emma and for Killian, starting with the two of them walking out the doors of that diner hand in hand and leaving that town they'd both never loved, but had found real love in behind. They made it to Maine and found in Storybrooke all that promised possibility and a family of friends who would last them a lifetime. And most importantly they found their second chance together, one that included more love than they could ever dream of and a happily ever after worth fighting for every single day.

…

 _She's got legs, she knows how to use them_

 _She never begs, she knows how to choose them_

 _She's holdin' leg wonderin' how to feel them_

 _Would you get behind them if you could only find them?_

 _She's my baby, she's my baby_

 _Yeah, it's alright_

 _She's got hair down to her fanny_

 _She's kinda jet set, try undo her panties_

 _Everytime she's dancin' she knows what to do_

 _Everybody wants to see if she can use it_

 _She's so fine, she's all mine_

 _Girl, you got it right_

 _She's got legs, she knows how to use them_

 _She never begs, she knows how to choose them_

 _She's got a dime all of the time_

 _Stays out at night movin' through time_

 _Oh, I want her, said, I got to have her_

 _The girl is alright, she's alright_

 _ **Post-Note: So obviously with this story there is an element of suspending belief – after all, who meets new friends one day and follows them to some small town in Maine with a guy you just confessed your love for? Nobody, but I just couldn't pass up the fluffy potential when that element came to mind. Anyway I really want to thank my lovely reader who requested this. It was such a fun prompt and definitely a different style of music to add to the mixtape, but I enjoyed every second of it. Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a great rest of your day!**_


	147. Not Broken Anymore

_**A/N: Based on a reader request for the song 'Not Broken Anymore' by Blue October. My reader didn't specify anything further, but the lyrics of the song spoke to me especially and told me it had to be from Killian's POV and it had to be emotionally packed. In the end it is the fluffiest drabble focused on a CS wedding reception and Emma and Killian dancing together. Hope you guys enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

Once upon a time, not really so long ago in the scheme of Killian's past, there was no room in his world for hope.

Killian had resolved himself to a false belief that the best days of his life were behind him. The only way ahead was one of vengeance and darkness and plight. He was destined to stay broken and unhappy, or so he had thought. But then his plans for revenge took an unexpected turn, and he was thrown into the path of a fiery, stubborn, brilliant, beautiful woman who changed everything almost from the moment that he met her.

Since that jaunt on the beanstalk with Emma Killian had been altered, and though the transformation hadn't come overnight, his return to a side of goodness and of light had sparked even back then. There were lapses of course in his judgment and his choices, but the one thing that proved time and time again to be right for Killian was to put Emma above all else. Anything could be justified in his eyes as long as is it was done in the service of the woman he loved, a woman he had given all of himself to, and who he would adore all the days of his life.

He had made that solemn promise to cherish and to hold his Swan from now until forever earlier this afternoon in a church filled with people who cared for them and for their family. In many ways it was a traditional ceremony, and much of the pomp and circumstance of a royal wedding in the Enchanted Forest was done away with, but there were some parts where Emma and Killian differed from the norm, most notably in their vows. It had been a sticking point for both Emma and Killian that they not say 'until death do us part' during the service, because death had come knocking before and it had made no difference on the bond between them. This love, true and unyielding as it was, would endure anything in this world and the next, and the ties they'd bound each other with today as man and wife would carry on until the end of time.

"I dare you to stop smiling," Emma teased him, pulling Killian from his thoughts and reminiscing as they swayed together to the music of the band in their backyard tonight.

This was their wedding party, and unlike that modest ceremony of before, it was a grand affair by Storybrooke standards where everyone in town was invited. There were twinkling lights, glowing lanterns, and flowers as far as the eye could see, as well as a great many other small elements that when brought together made for a truly magical sight. But it mattered not to Killian. Despite the meticulous details ironed out by Emma's mother and the rest of the family, it wasn't the ambiance of this evening that meant the most to him. All Killian needed was to be with Emma, and he was as happy as a man could possibly be with her here in his arms right now.

Killian's hand ran across the small of Emma's back, grazing over the soft lace of the lovely gown she'd worn today, and though she was pressed firm against him, her body flush with his in a tantalizing way, she'd never be close enough for his liking. Even later on, when they stole away from the fray of guests and returned to their home and to their bed, Killian knew he'd never have enough. He was insatiable when it came to his new bride, but he fully intended to spend his whole life loving her the way she deserved.

"I will if you will," Killian countered with a flirtatious tone aimed at copying her level of jest even as it tempted Emma to feel as much and as strongly as he did.

As a response Emma only smiled more, and the sight of her joy clutched at his heartstrings. Gods she was beautiful, always a vision in every form and every way, but seeing Emma as elated as he was in their union was something else entirely. He'd already traced and retraced every feature of the picture that she made today, willing this memory to remain in vivid detail for him to always hold dear in his heart, but damn if he could stop looking at her and grinning like a mad man. He was just too aware of his good fortune, and too blissfully amazed at their finally being here to even consider hiding his true feelings.

"Point taken," Emma acquiesced before letting out a happy little hum of appreciation. "Is it crazy for me to say I kind of can't believe it? I mean we got _married_ today. You and me – the two people with the worst track record for uninterrupted quiet moments in history – and it was… well it was perfect."

Perfect seemed almost too tame a word for what today had been. It was life affirming and soul replenishing for Killian in a way nothing else ever had been. Sure he'd felt unimaginable pleasure in securing Emma's love and hearing that 'yes' she gave him when he'd asked her (the second time around) to marry him. But this was different. This was a chapter he and Emma had been building towards for so long, but that he'd never dared to dream would come to pass. It was too enchanting a prospect to truly believe in for such a long time, but here it was, and not a moment too soon.

Killian had been almost manic in his worry during the hours they were apart this morning that something would go wrong or that Emma would change her mind, and the waiting wasn't at all easy as the day wore on. But all of his anxieties were immediately calmed and cured when he'd seen Emma come through those big wooden doors and when she'd looked at him and smiled with happy tears in those always expressive eyes of her. It was easily the best day of his very long life, and though Killian was tempted to say it would be the best he ever saw, he knew not to underestimate his Swan. After all, Emma had a way of granting him the most beautiful gifts, and there would no doubt be more times in their future when she took his breath away and made his world even more miraculous than it already was.

"Perfect is a good way to put it, Swan," Killian agreed, stealing a kiss from her as he muttered the words and watching the flush that came to spread across her cheeks when he pulled back.

That same soft pink color had been there more than a few times today, like in the moment when Killian told her he loved her as her father placed her hand in Killian's, and when he whispered in her ear as they walked back down that aisle as man and wife about the wedding night that would await them. But the frequency of Emma's response didn't dull the impact. Killian still felt like the king of the world for putting that look on his Emma's face, and nothing and no one could tear him down.

"Are you still going to call me that, even though I'm technically Emma _Jones_ now?" Emma asked, causing another flare of desire to rush through him. The thought that she was branded with his last name was heady and invigorating, but if Emma doubted that to him he'd always be 'Swan,' she was in for quite a surprise.

"Aye, love. For it's always been more than a simple name. It's who you are," Killian affirmed. Yet before he could spell out all the detailed reasons why he would keep that moniker in his heart for her always, a tap came at his shoulder interrupting them.

"Mind if I cut in?" David asked, clearly hoping to steal that dance Killian had been warned of that came on a wedding day between a father and daughter in this realm.

Part of Killian hated the idea of letting Emma go, even if he rationally knew she'd be right here and squarely in his sights, but he knew this was a tradition that would be important to both Emma and David. They'd been denied so much already in the grand scheme of things, and Killian had no interest in taking anything else away from them. So instead of demanding more time with Emma alone, Killian moved back, taking Emma's hand in his and pressing a chaste kiss on her palm before handing her off to her father.

"For a second there I didn't know if you'd let Grandpa have his turn," Henry claimed when Killian moved off the dance floor to find a spot where he could keep his eyes trained on Emma.

Killian looked at the boy who was now his stepson and grinned, tilting his head and scratching behind his ear in a slightly embarrassed gesture. It seemed that despite Killian's best efforts he was still all too transparent in his feelings. Not that he would ever regret that. He had nothing to hide from anyone, and he was more than proud to let the whole world know just how much he loved his wife.

"For a second I wondered the same thing," Killian replied honestly.

Henry laughed at that and then looked back to his mother as Killian did the same. It was magical, this feeling that Emma inspired even from this distance. She was glowing as she twirled around the space with her Dad, laughing and smiling, and every ounce of happiness she set free felt like a special present just for Killian. Gone was the woman who had once been closed off from the world and from her feelings. Emma had let all of that go, choosing instead to let herself live and to thrive in the way she deserved to, and the way he wanted for her.

"I didn't get a chance to say it before with everything being so hectic and Grandma making all that fuss…" Henry began. "But I'm glad it's you that Mom married. I'm glad you found her, Killian – that you found all of us."

Killian looked back to Henry and nodded. As far as emotional admissions went, neither of them was terribly disposed to sharing with the other, but Killian could read through the lines, and though Henry had granted his blessing a few times before, this was his way of saying that he was good with having Killian enter the family. And as the person who meant the most to Emma in the world, Henry meant a lot to Killian, and so did his opinion.

"I'm glad for that too, lad. More glad than I can say."

The touching, quiet moment lingered between the two of them for a few more seconds, but then distraction came calling again, this time in the form of Violet who asked Henry for a dance and then from Snow who came over to Killian's other side looking more than a little teary eyed after the day they'd all just shared together. Killian honestly wondered if Snow had managed to stop crying once in the hours since Emma and Killian said 'I do,' but since every tear she shed was a joyful one, Killian wasn't worried about his standing with the Charming family.

"She's just so beautiful," Snow claimed as she dabbed a cloth at her eyes before more tears could fall. "And so happy."

Killian felt near bursting at pride at that. The thought that he had played any role in securing joy in Emma's life was one he cherished dearly, for she had a way of making his life so much warmer and brighter and more alive in every way. It still amazed him, truly, that they'd even gotten here at all, but Emma's smile and her aura right now, so filled with light and peace and glee, were all the proof he needed that they were real and that this was all actually happening.

"My daughter is easily the strongest person I have ever met," Snow continued quietly as she continued to gaze at her husband and at Emma. "But when she first got to Storybrooke Emma was also fragile despite all those walls she tried to protect herself with. That was David and my doing. We made our choice and we put the fate of everyone over the loving, happy life Emma should have had."

The crack in Snow's voice told Killian that his mother-in-law still held deep remorse for those actions, and though he knew she didn't regret the way things had turned out, she did still blame herself for the harsher parts of life Emma had witnessed. It had never been easy for his Swan, but that strength her mother mentioned ended up winning out in the end, and now the woman before them who was dancing with her father on her wedding day didn't see herself as a lost little girl anymore. Emma was secure in who she was and where she belonged and she had let go of the past as much as any one person could.

"You did what you had to do. That curse never would have been broken if not for Emma," Killian said, offering some sort of comfort to Snow as he placed his hand on her arm. She nodded at that and looked to him with more unshed tears in her eyes.

"We did. But I was so scared that Emma would never get past it. I told her to always have hope and that things would all work out in the end, but I began to wonder if we hadn't doomed her in a way by putting all this burden on her shoulders. She deserved more than all that fear and all that doubt, and I didn't know how to give that to her. But _you_ did, Killian, and for that I will always see you as a hero. I'll never have the words to thank you for everything you've given her, what you've given all of us."

His being cast in such a light, was slightly uncomfortable to Killian. What Snow neglected to note in her kind recounting of his and Emma's past was that any healing that occurred was on both of their parts, and that the only way they could have gotten here was through both of them changing and taking the risk. In Killian's mind he'd had so much farther to go than his love when it came to being worthy, and Emma had been the one who took the bigger chance in loving him than he had in loving her. Now he intended to spend the rest of his days showing his wife that that chance had been worth it.

"The real miracle was that Emma met a broken, darkened man and saw what _could_ be instead of what was there. None of you owe me anything. It's I who owe the debt."

"Well you're not broken anymore," Snow said softly with heartfelt reassurance. "You've become exactly the kind of man I wanted my daughter to find."

"I'm not exactly a prince," Killian replied, more in jest than in all seriousness, but Snow read his intent and wouldn't let him play it off, giving him the full extent of her compliment before he could back away from it.

"And none of us expect you to be. All we ask if that Emma have someone who chooses her and puts her first and who loves her the way Emma deserves to be loved. That's the most important thing and it's what you do so well, Killian. As for the titles… well in the end they just don't matter, do they?"

Killian shook his head, knowing that they didn't. People were more than the labels they were given, and he and the rest of this family were the proof of that fact. With love and with hope anyone could change and anyone could choose their role in this life for better or worse. There no limits, not when it came to true love.

"You have my word that I'll always do right by her," Killian vowed, hoping to assure Snow that while turbulence would no doubt come into all of their lives again, his ties to Emma would never weaken or fade in any way. He wasn't going anywhere, and he would always do his best to be the husband and the partner that Emma needed.

"I know you will," Snow said with a smile before patting his hand and looking back out to the sea of people.

Soon after that, the song that had been playing ended and Emma and her father broke apart as a new one began. When they did, Killian noticed Emma's searching gaze around the backyard, and the way her smile grew more warm and inviting when her eyes landed on him. She didn't have to say a word for Killian to make his excuses to Snow and to return to his bride, and after a brief nod of understanding between him and David, Killian was right back where he wanted to be with his true love in his arms once more.

"Thank you," Emma said as she pressed a kiss to Killian's lips lightly.

"For what, Swan?" Killian asked, not exactly following her train of thought, but wanting to understand what he'd done right so he could do it more often.

"For everything. For being you, for never giving up, for loving me… just, thank you."

Understanding dawned on Killian then, but he was eager to address Emma's rationale that any of that would require gratitude. Loving her was the most natural thing he'd ever done, and everything Killian did for Emma he did without expectation. There was no competition between them or tally of who could show their love for the other more. This was an equal flow of caring that defied measurement and everything Emma had just credited him for could be said about her in return. With that firm belief in mind, Killian tilted Emma's chin up so their gazes would meet once more, hoping she'd believe him when he made her this promise.

"You never have to thank me for any of that, Emma," Killian said as he moved his hand up to cup her cheek. "It's my honor to belong to you, my love, and it always will be."

"I'm yours too, always," Emma professed, making Killian growl approvingly before he stole another kiss that tempted them both right up to the edge of the line of decency.

"If you had to guess, how many more dances would you say are expected of us this evening?" Killian's query brought out a smirk that played at Emma's lips, and immediately she knew what he was getting at.

"No clue. But since it's technically _our_ night, I think we get to decide for ourselves."

If it were solely up to him, Killian would have stolen away with Emma hours ago. The evening had been incredible to be sure, but there were still too many eyes around them and too many people present for them to be totally themselves. Only when it was just the two of them would Killian feel truly at peace, but he had no desire to pressure Emma. If she wanted to linger longer he would gladly do so and enjoy every moment of anticipation that built in the meantime.

"I'd dance all night with you, Emma, if that was your wish."

"Hmm," she replied pretending to consider as her fingers traced along the nape of his neck lightly, but the playfulness in Emma's eyes hinted at what was coming. "That sounds pretty spectacular…but I think being alone with you sounds even better."

And so, with permission granted from his wife, and powered by an unyielding desire to love Emma in every way he could, Killian proceeded to sweep his princess off her feet and back into their own little castle once more, where they would spend the rest of their lives together enjoying the happy ending they'd both fought so hard for.

…

 _I know how to let you leave_

 _How am I suppose to let you go?_

 _Now you stand in front of me_

 _And all the rain is turning into snow_

 _Can you tell me that you're real_

 _So I can really know_

 _That everything I feel I can finally show_

 _Standing next to me oh the person I can be_

 _Is finally here and he won't back down at all_

 _But I can't stop thinking_

 _How you just keep making_

 _Sense of all that was broken before_

 _And I won't keep faking_

 _'Cause I'm done with taking_

 _'Cause with you I'm not broken anymore_

 _I've seen the empty deep_

 _I've damned up the water flow_

 _You're the touchstone my complete_

 _You're the ship that kept me afloat_

 _Can you tell me that you're real_

 _So I can really know_

 _That everything I feel I can finally show_

 _Standing next to me oh the person I can be_

 _Is finally here and he won't back down at all_

 _But I can't stop thinking_

 _How you just keep making_

 _Sense of all that was broken before_

 _And I won't keep faking_

 _'Cause I'm done with taking_

 _'Cause with you I'm not broken anymore_

 _But I can't stop thinking_

 _How you just keep making_

 _Sense of all that was broken before_

 _And I won't keep faking_

 _'Cause I'm done with all the taking_

 _'Cause with you I'm not broken anymore_

 _And I can't stop thinking_

 _How you just keep making_

 _Sense of all that was broken before_

 _Yeah and I won't keep faking_

 _'Cause I'm done with taking_

 _'Cause with you I'm not broken anymore_

 _I'm not broken anymore_

 _ **Post-Note: So first and foremost thank you to the lovely reader who asked for this song! I am sorry it took so long for me to get to it, but I hope I did your vision justice and I appreciate your patience. This was such a nice fic to write today since it's rainy and dreary in my corner of the world, and this chapter is anything but. In fact, I am hard pressed to think of very many moments that would be fluffier than Emma and Killian dancing on their wedding night. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading, and I want to let you guys know that I am still working on cutting down the list of prompts I have. It's slow going, but I am getting there, so don't worry – if you have requested a song I will eventually get to it! Thanks again and I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	148. Way Down We Go

_**A/N: Reader request for Emma going through the stages of grief since Killian is gone (in 5x21). It's sad in the beginning of course, but it will extend that scene of them finding each other in the cemetery and include more of a break between them reuniting and going to Granny's to face the music. Rated M (like a truly good reunion scene should be). Goes with the song 'Way Down We Go' by Kaleo.**_

Emma Swan had seen many bad days come and go before, but standing here in the Storybrooke cemetery as they lay Robin to rest might just be the lowest point of her life so far.

She'd just gotten out of hell – or the Underworld rather – but the misery awaiting her here was so much worse than anything they'd faced down there. Even if they'd been trapped in a hell scape run by a lunatic, at least Emma and Killian had been together. She'd been terrified of getting everyone back alive, but the fact that her family was whole again still had meant something to Emma, and their presence protected her from the worst of the fear. Up until the moment when Killian sent her back on the elevator and away from him she'd had hope that they would make it. There was this certainty in her heart that Killian was her 'one.' Finally after a lifetime of searching she'd found her chance at romantic felicity and then it was gone.

She should have known it would never work. Love that lasted might be in the cards for her parents and for a handful of other couples in this town, but Emma was different. Whether it was her being the savior, her troubled past, or just her personal hang ups, love wasn't something that came through in the end. Even when she'd found the perfect guy, the one person in the world she could be totally herself with, Emma still lost out. Add to that the fact that she knew that the love she and Killian shared was true, and Emma was gutted. Not only was Killian gone, but so was that not so little bit of magic he'd brought into her world. She'd had everything just at her fingertips, only for it to be ripped away in an instant.

" _We've already had more time than we were ever meant to."_

Those were the words from their goodbye that hurt her most, the ones that rang out in Emma's head and clawed at her heart over and over again. They were pain in its truest form, the last shred of hope ripped apart and torn from both of them, and they were never far from Emma's mind, not when she'd been fighting like hell to defeat Hades, or when she'd come just a few minutes before the rest of the mourners today to bring her pirate back his flask. She was never without Killian, but she was also so terribly and inconceivably alone.

And honestly, it didn't matter that right now she was surrounded by her family. Her parents, her son, her friends… they were all here, all standing here grieving Regina's version of a happy ending, which had also been tragically taken, but Emma couldn't even process that. Her own wounds were too fresh, her mind too numbed to all outside things. Emma was trapped in her own misery and unable to find a way out of it.

Killian made her promise not to close back up again when they were down there too, and though she'd vowed to give him that, Emma never realized how impossible that would be. She was supposed to keep her armor off and to be vulnerable, but she knew it would never happen. Everything hurt right now, her emotions were all frayed to a point of frenzy, and the thought of even making it through the next five minutes pierced her heart to a painful degree. How would she make it to tomorrow? To next week? To any kind of future where Killian just wasn't…

 _Keep it together, Emma. Everyone needs you to be okay. Henry needs you be okay._

Emma gripped at that thought like a vice, but as she stood here, knowing that everyone expected her to pick up the pieces somehow, she felt like even taking her next breath was an impossible challenge. It felt as if all the pieces that she needed to make sense of her world were gone, scattered and broken to a degree where she didn't even know what to do. Emma was trying so hard to cling onto the things she still had, the people that Killian had gotten out of the Underworld and saved so many times, but it was hard. No one had the answers on why it had to be this way. No one knew how to help Emma put herself back together, because no one truly understood just how deep her love ran.

Killian hadn't just helped her find her home time and time again. He wasn't just the guy at her side when she saved the day. He was the one person who without fail was there and there for _her_. Even in her worst moments, even at the times when she was lashing out and pushing everyone away, Killian remained. He persevered through all of her tests and he was supposed to be… he'd promised he was a survivor, but now he was gone. The man who didn't break his promises to her had finally done it and the raw wound of his unintentional abandonment was too substantial to fend off.

"I hope we never again have a day like today," Emma's mother said, cutting through Emma's internal thoughts and bringing her back into the moment.

It was just the two of them out there now, standing over Robin's grave as the others had already moved on. Emma hadn't really meant to stay here, she was just so caught up in her own world, and her feet wouldn't move from this spot. Leaving this place felt like admitting defeat, and though she was trying with all her might to let go and accept what had happened, Emma was still holding on to this tiny shred of denial. All of this couldn't be real. Maybe she'd wake up and find it was all a bad dream. But as the tiny drops of rain fell down in the somber, quite cemetery, hitting against her mother's umbrella, Emma admitted that those hopes were unfounded. This was their reality, and she had to keep putting one foot in front of the other or she'd end up getting more innocent people killed.

"Me too, Mom," Emma replied, her voice coming out as a choked out sound she didn't even recognize.

"I know what you're thinking, and this is not your fault," her mother said, and though she didn't acknowledge that directly, Emma knew rationally her mother was right.

They'd all made their choices, and at the end of the day it was Hades' evil that had torn Robin from his family too soon, and had dashed the hopes Killian had of returning here with all of them. Emma had played no part in that cruelty. She hadn't forced Robin to help her rescue Killian, though she'd appreciated it tremendously. But for Emma the worst part was she hadn't had a chance to say thank you to Robin. They weren't close, but he had been there fighting alongside the heroes too and she wanted to think that it wasn't too late. Somehow he could hear her thoughts and know she was thankful, even when it had all come to nothing more than a few more stolen moments for Emma and Killian in the Underworld.

"I just want to say goodbye alone if that's okay," Emma whispered and her mother nodded, showing some mercy and not pushing any further. Snow left with a hug and with a gentle reminder that they still had to meet everyone Granny's, and then she turned to go, and Emma was left in the deafening silence she was fast growing accustomed to.

Yet where Emma expected to be totally undisturbed out here, a sudden burst of something pushed her over with a force that nearly knocked her to the ground. She gasped aloud, trying to regain her bearings before figuring out what the hell that was, and then she heard it. Her name called by the one person her heart needed most in this moment.

"Swan?"

 _It can't be,_ Emma thought to herself before turning around, but she couldn't help but look. Even if she knew that they'd left Killian behind in the Underworld and there was no way out but for him to move on, she couldn't believe it. But then she turned and he was there. Her Killian was there, looking at her with a mix of love and awe that sent the first pang of hope she'd felt since the moment they said goodbye on that elevator. He was here! Killian was here!

"Killian?"

Running to him, Emma still didn't know if she believed it. Maybe she'd gone crazy, maybe this was rock bottom and she was insane, but then his arms were around her and she could feel that familiar warmth and her lungs filled with that rich sent of rum and leather and Killian that came whenever he was near and she almost cried right there. She'd thought that was gone forever, but it wasn't and neither was he. This was too vivid and real and wonderful to be her imagination. The details were too right, and the proof too undeniable for her to doubt that Killian was back.

Their lips found each other then in an eager kiss, one that had to come before the words of everything Emma was feeling. She was still too rattled and in many ways numb because of everything the past few days had brought her, but thanks to the feel of his hand and his hook against her, and the way Killian met her in this kiss, Emma began to believe again. Her hope returned in full force and suddenly all that sadness and sorrow was changing into a white-hot sense of light and love that couldn't be denied. The tears remained, as did the tightness in her throat, but gone was that miserable feeling like everything was lost, and finally Emma was beginning to feel like things might actually be okay.

"Oh! What – how – how are you here?" Emma asked, not knowing how she managed to get the question out at all. She was so torn between continuing to kiss him and telling Killian she loved him so much she felt like a part of her had died with him. But Killian's eyes shone with that glint of understanding and so much affection that she couldn't help but smile in the face of it.

"Zeus – he must have sent me back, as a reward for helping defeat Hades" Killian said, laughing as Emma moved to kiss his face over and over. The sound of his laughter made Emma's whole body flood with warmth, and she needed to hear more of that lightheartedness, because she'd believed it was gone for good only moments ago.

To say that this way of embracing Killian was not her usual style was an understatement, but screw normal when the man she loved so truly was back. Killian's returning to her was a miracle – this was one of the best things that had ever happened to Emma in the whole of her life– and Emma wasn't hiding anything or holding a single element of what she felt back. She was done with that, and she silently swore to herself that the days of denying how much she loved this man were over. Emma would never again take what they had for granted, and she'd never stop wanting to hold Killian close and keep him as near as she possibly could.

"Ah! I mean, what?!" Emma asked, squeaking out the question as the multitude of thoughts spinning around in her head began to take better shape. Zeus? What the heck did Zeus have to do with anything? But even as she wondered, Emma didn't need those answers. All she really needed was to keep convincing herself that Killian was really back and in her arms again.

"Zeus, you know, the ruler of the Olympians, the most powerful -,"

Killian was likely to go on with that little mythology lesson of his if Emma didn't interrupt, but she couldn't help herself, pulling him back in for another kiss and feeling the moment all thoughts of his answer melted away. Killian was just as consumed with everything they'd both believed to be lost as Emma was, and it made this reunion all the sweeter.

"I don't care," Emma whispered against his lips, still clinging to him with unrestrained passion. "I don't care how you're here. I'm just so glad that you are."

"So are you," Killian said with a sigh of relief that Emma felt down to her core and she hugged him close wanting to grant him the same liberation from the fear of their separation that he'd given her. "I'm so happy you're all right."

Emma's heart clutched in her chest, because of course that was his answer. Only Killian could be trapped in the Underworld, doomed to a torturous state of solitude and limbo for an unspecified amount of time, and worrying about Emma over himself. She'd told him not to let her be his unfinished business, but maybe his unyielding ties to her were the way in which he'd been able to return. Emma couldn't contemplate it all now, but in the back of her mind she wondered if Killian's happy ending wasn't a place or a thing, but just her. Perhaps that was how Zeus had been able to bring him back, but whatever the reason for Killian's return, Emma was grateful. She had the man she loved in her grasp once more, and she had never been so happy, even given the sadness that the rest of today had brought.

"Not all of us are," Emma said, pulling back and looking into Killian's eyes before casting her glance across the graveyard and back to Robin's grave.

She continued to cling to Killian, holding him close for a moment in the quiet that fell upon them, but then eventually she filled him in about the extent of Hades deception and vindictive actions.

"It's a shame," Killian said, when Emma had finished her summary. "He was a good man, and a good father. He deserved better than that kind of ending. He deserved the happiness he was so close to finding. I'm sorry, mate."

The last part, Emma knew, was whispered to Robin specifically, and Emma felt fresh tears streaming down her face at Killian's words. Emma could see a hint of pain in his eyes. Knowing Killian he was likely blaming himself in some way, but she wouldn't let that happen. Emma would not give in to the sadness again. So instead she put herself out there and made herself vulnerable in her own goodbye to Robin.

"I don't know if there will ever be a way to make what happened to you right, but you have my word that we'll do right by your legacy and by you. You won't be forgotten, Robin, and we'll make sure the kids and Regina are given every chance to find happiness even though it all seems so impossible now. And no matter what Hades said, I know you're still here somehow, watching out for them and for all of us too. If anyone could find a way to do that, it's you."

The slow and steady movement of Killian's hook over her back soothed Emma as she wiped away her tears and looked from the grave back to the man she loved. She felt calmed by his presence, centered for the first time in so long, and now all she wanted was to rejoice in what was still possible for the two of them. Mourning could come later. Right now Emma wanted them both to just feel this love between them and leave the rest of it aside.

"Let's go home," Emma whispered and Killian's soft smile returned as he kissed her temple and held her close. Yet where he likely expected to walk together, Emma had other ideas. She didn't want to waste any more time and so with a _poof_ of her white magic she transported them back to the house that he'd found for them months ago.

It was strange in a way, because this home was filled with so many memories, most of them not that great, but Emma believed as she led Killian up the stairs by the hand and into the room she'd always wanted them to share, that they could wash those old scars away. They didn't have to run from the bad in their past. Instead they could embrace what had happened and realize that they were beyond that now. They'd conquered those demons and still they stood, together where they truly belonged.

"We don't have a lot of time – but I just need…" Emma trailed off, not even knowing what to say.

What she needed was Killian and he was here, which was amazing. But the ache that had been slowly hollowing her out since she left him in the Underworld wasn't totally gone yet. It needed something, some form of healing that she knew Killian could provide, but there was just too much emotion for Emma to wade through. She was being pulled in so many directions and Emma had so many wants and needs, yet the world around them was spinning on. She just wanted it to stop for a while so she could revel in Killian's being home, but…

With a gentle form of silent command, Killian tipped her chin up to look at him once more. In the midst of her worries Emma had cast her glance away, but the simple look that Killian bestowed on her in this moment was enough to ease some of the lingering tension away. There was so much love right there at the surface, and Killian didn't try in any way to shield what he was feeling from her. He was giving and open and earnestly awaiting Emma to tell him what she needed.

"Whatever you desire I'll grant you, Swan. Just say the word."

Emma closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his, breathing him in and letting herself steady for just a moment. This was a good start, but her hands gripped at his vest and she held on tight, not wanting him to slip away if she let go.

"I need to know you're here and you aren't going anywhere."

Killian pressed a kiss to her lips lightly and with such care that it almost hurt, but then his mouth wandered down her chin, across her neck, and back again. With every brush against her skin, Emma felt more and more like they were headed in the right direction. The two of them together could wash away this pain and get back to where they were always supposed to be. It would just take a little time and a whole lot of love.

"I'm here, Emma, and there's not a force in any world or any realm that could take me from you again."

Killian's whispered words against her brought forth such a rush of emotion in Emma that she couldn't linger in the gentle any longer. Instead she moved to strip away all the clothes separating Killian from her view, and though her hands shook from the force of her emotions, she was determined to shed everything between them.

"Show me," Emma pleaded, knowing she sounded desperate but not caring. The ache inside was too strong for her to tarry longer on quiet consolations, and because Killian knew her as well as he did, he caved to her wants, helping to get them both bare and maneuvered to the bed in quick succession.

"I'll give you what you need now, love, because I've been away from you too long to resist taking everything you've offered. But there will come a moment when time is on our side, and when it comes, I plan to be a bit more _meticulous_ in my attentions."

Emma smiled at the lilt of teasing under the intensity of his promise as her body hummed in approval of this new idea. Slow and sensual had always paid off for her and Killian in the past, but right now she needed hard and fast reassurance that those darker days of their recent history were behind them. And they were, because no matter what came next Emma knew that she could handle it as long as Killian was here and her family was safe.

The shift of Killian's actions from soft and sweet to demanding and insistent was fuel on the fire of Emma's need for him. She was surrounded by his presence, feeling the hard lines of his body so damn close as he hovered above her and made love to her mouth with his own, but when he pulled away and started to move lower and lower Emma groaned. It felt so impossibly good, and every mark he left on her from the scruff of his beard or the scratch of his teeth on her bare skin helped wash away the emptiness she'd been feeling for so long. But this wasn't what she'd expected. He'd promised fast and yet Killian was stalling, even if it was in the most amazing way.

"What happened to taking me without all the 'meticulous' attention?" Emma asked, her voice breaking slightly when his mouth made its way to one of her breasts and his hand came to toy with the other.

"I promised that I'd give you what you need, Swan, and this is exactly what we _both_ require."

Giving over to the sensations that Killian so expertly elicited, Emma let herself go for the first time in what felt like ages. She held nothing back, knowing that there was no one in this house but them and every zing of pleasure he sent through her body was rewarded with words of affirmation that tumbled past her lips. Over and over again she told Killian how she'd missed him, how she wanted him, and how she needed him with her. She didn't want another day to go by with him doubting in anyway how she felt, but then the words were lost when he'd trailed lower and lower and his mouth came to her sex.

The second that he kissed her there Emma was mindless, and though she knew Killian could have sent her over the edge in no time, he played her body in a way that built the already intense desire even more. Honestly Emma had no choice but to feel this full and reverberating warmth that he bestowed upon her with ever lick and suck and nip. It was as if he'd lit an inferno from the inside out that burned away all that darkness that had come when he was gone, and only when she pleaded with him to give her more did he finally send her over the edge and into a blindingly brilliant bliss she'd worried was gone forever.

As Emma came back to herself, she felt Killian paying reverence to her over and over. He lingered over every curve and dip of her body and she heard his whispered promises too. Promises that he was hers and that this was real, and every one of them was beautiful enough to bring tears to her eyes. When he was back above her again, her hand came up to cup his cheek and she felt the need to tell him one last thing, something she'd only ever said in times of struggle or fear.

"I love you, Killian. I love you so much more than… well more than I can ever say, and I can't lose you anymore. So please, please stop… getting lost."

It wasn't the most articulate way to say what she was thinking, and if she'd had more time to dwell on it Emma might have regretted the way she phrased her want for him to stay, but there was no room for regret. Not when Killian's eyes filled with so much hope and happiness that it took her breath away.

"I will never tire of hearing you say that you love me, Emma," he replied, his voice filled with the tautness of real and true emotion. "And you have my word that from here on out I won't be straying from my post, which is right here with you."

"Good," Emma said, pulling him in for another kiss and then feeling that perfect sense of completion when he thrust home and filled her with his hard length.

The connection they achieved was sublime, climbing higher and higher until they were both of them nearly at the peak and clawing to get there. But it took Killian's whispered 'I love you' and a plea for her to let go for Emma to crash into climax again. When she gave way, Killian followed, and in the aftermath of that Emma finally felt like things were as they should be. She had hope once more in the possibility of a future worth fighting for, and she owed all of that to Killian.

"You came back to me," Emma said quietly as she lay tucked into Killian with her hand placed against his chest. She could feel the heartbeat he'd been missing when in the Underworld just underneath her fingertips and she closed her eyes, letting herself appreciate just how miraculous his return really was.

"I will always come for you, Emma. Always," he promised as he kissed the crown of her head and pulled her closer. The gesture was so soothing that Emma let the final part of her doubts be free between them, knowing that once she said this she could let go of those thoughts forever.

"When you were gone I kept wishing so badly that I'd wake up and find it was all a dream. There had to be some mistake – some explainable problem I could fix and make it better. I couldn't believe that was how our story was supposed to end. But then… then I wondered if maybe this was what I deserved."

Killian tensed immediately underneath her and the gruffness in his voice gave away all that he was feeling. "Emma, love, that's simply not true."

Emma leaned back up to kiss him again both because she couldn't let the opportunity to do so pass her by, and because she needed Killian to listen to everything she had to say. Emma had to get this out, and to make him see what she'd been feeling and how _he_ was the one who gave her the strength to see the world differently. Killian had to know that to her he was a hero, and that he'd saved her from so much including herself.

"I know that now. But I went my whole life believing that I wasn't worth loving, Killian. I didn't have anyone until Henry found me and brought me home and it wasn't until you that I believed love like this was even real or could be possible for me. _You_ made me believe, and then I lost you. But even though you were gone, you were the one who kept me going. I had to trust that because you loved me I wasn't this terrible person even though I felt that way, and even though I couldn't see how, I knew deep down you'd still find a way to bring me happiness. You're always finding a way, I'm just so happy that the way you found kept us together."

"We'll always find a way, Emma. That's how our love works."

"You promise?" Emma asked, knowing that even without the explicit vow, Killian would live up to those words. The two of them, Emma had to believe, were destined for each other, and for a life that would be happy and well worth the wait.

"Aye Swan. I promise," Killian affirmed as he pressed a final kiss to her lips and circled his arms around her once more, holding her tight and surrounding her in a circle of love that Emma would never again be without. 

….

 _Oh, father tell me, do we get what we deserve?_

 _Oh, we get what we deserve_

 _And way down we go_

 _Oh, way down we go_

 _Say, way down we go_

 _Way down we go_

 _Whoa, you let your feet run wild_

 _Time has come as we all go down_

 _Yeah but for the fall—oh, my—_

 _Do you dare to look him right in the eyes?_

 _'Cause they will run you down, down 'til the dark_

 _Yes, and they will run you down, down 'til you fall_

 _And they will run you down, down to your core_

 _Yeah, 'til you can't crawl no more_

 _And way down we go_

 _Way down we go_

 _Say, way down we go_

 _'Cause they will run you down, down 'til you're caught_

 _Way down we go_

 _Whoa, baby, yeah_

 _Whoa, baby_

 _Baby_

 _Way down we go_

 _Yeah_

 _And way down we go_

 _Way down we go_

 _Say, way down we go_

 _Way down we go_

 _ **Post-Note: So I want to start by thanking the lovely reader who asked for this chapter and who thought of it with this song. It has long been a favorite of mine, and it really did work for the whole Underworld arc, so thank you for sending that bit of inspiration my way. I also always wanted not just a more elongated CS reunion, but also a moment where Emma thanked Robin. I know the show never made them close by any means, but it felt like Emma, even for all her pain, would have said something more about being sorry for his death. At least that's how I always saw it. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I hope that you all have a lovely weekend, and a good rest of your day!**_


	149. Steal My Girl

_**A/N: Reader requested drabble featuring a jealous Killian. I never turn down the chance to write a little of that, and this time I'm making it an AU scene where Emma and Killian are celebrating their anniversary. They've been together ten years and they're meeting at a bar (recreating the first night they met if you will), but when Killian gets there, there's another guy hitting on his wife. You can all probably guess what happens from there. Coupled with the song 'Steal My Girl' by One Direction.**_

Walking into the sleek yet inviting Boston Grand Hotel that lay at the heart of the city after a long day at work, Killian Jones had to admit that he was restless. All day he'd been waiting for this moment, and finally, mercifully it was here. He was at last where he most wanted to be, about to be reunited with the best part of his whole world.

Ten years married today, that was what he and Emma had achieved. It was, to many people, a real accomplishment, and when he mentioned it to his peers at work or friends who hadn't known him before he met Emma, they were always awed by the continued ties that remained between Killian and his wife. But Killian wasn't at all surprised. Since the moment they'd met, Killian knew there was only one woman in the world for him and he was just the lucky bastard that managed to get his ring on her finger and live his life at her side.

In ten years they'd taken a young, fresh love and grown it into so much more. Not every day was easy, and of course hard times came for them just as they did in the lives of everyone else, but the magic of Emma and Killian's relationship was their constant faith in each other. In times of struggle they didn't run or evade, they leaned on the other and battled the storms until bright days came once more. And because of that, the good moments so vastly outnumbered the bad. They chose happiness each and every day, and they fought for the good for both themselves and for the family they cherished so dearly.

"Good evening, sir. Can I help you with something?" The hostess at the front of the hotel bar asked politely and Killian shook his head, only offering her the briefest look. He hadn't any need or desire to interact with anyone aside from Emma, but then he thought the better of his flat out refusal. Maybe this woman could get him to Emma sooner, and that would be a great help indeed.

"I'm meeting someone, actually. My wife, Emma Jones, is she here yet?"

Damn it felt good to say his last name as hers. Even if it had been a decade since she was legally Emma _Swan_ , Killian loved that they were bound together in every way. It meant more than he could say that he was the person Emma had chosen, and that after years of a life where she hadn't any one or any place to call her own, that she'd found home and connection with him.

"Oh she's here alright, and I think you'll be very glad to see her."

 _I always am,_ Killian thought to himself as he grinned, unable to contain his joy that the wait was nearly over. Then he took his leave and returned to his vigilant search for Emma once more.

It took a minute for Killian to get oriented to the crowd here tonight, but soon enough he spotted the object of his affection. There, across the bar and bathed in warm yellow light was a vision in red – the single most beautiful woman Killian had ever seen – and the one he had the right to call his own. His Emma was effortless in how stunning she was, commanding attention from every corner of the room without any sort of care or mind. Instead of flaunting her desirability, she sat there without expectation or pretense, perched on a bar stool with her fingertip drawing easy lines atop her glass. God she was gorgeous, and tonight (and every night) she was all his.

Killian made no attempt as he moved through the crowd of people to shield his gaze from the picture Emma made for. He took in the cascading curls of her shining blonde hair and the slight upturn of her lips in a good-natured smile. His eyes lingered over the sensual curve of her body, and Killian's hands itched to hold her and then strip away that damned enticing garment she called a dress. It was a scrap of material, nothing more, but bloody hell if it didn't fit her stunning figure to perfection. Not that the outfit made much difference – whatever Emma wore, Killian was always attuned to her and her alone, and ten years had done nothing to dilute his desire for her in any way.

As if the woman who owned him body and soul could sense his silent appraisal, Emma chose that moment to look his way, and in the instant that their gazes met, Killian saw the promise of everything he wanted from this life and everything Emma had already granted him. She was the key to everything he'd ever dreamed possible and so much more. She was his partner, his lover, his wife, the mother of his children, and to top it all off she was the most beautiful, stubborn, undeniably brilliant person he'd ever met.

It was because of Emma that they were here tonight. When he'd asked her what she wanted to do for their anniversary this year she'd been specific in her desire for three things: She wanted to go back to the place where it all began (thus their meeting tonight after work in the hotel bar where they'd first met), to have dinner at her favorite restaurant, and then to spend all night just the two of them. That last part was the trickier of the three (seeing as they had three little ones at home to be cared for), but thanks to some full on bribery, Killian had managed to convince his brother Liam to take them on, granting Killian and Emma one night away. Any more and the two of them would both miss the life they'd created for themselves too much, but as it was tonight would be damn near perfect, a series of stolen moments that Killian had been waiting for a very long time.

The need that clung to Killian as he moved across the room was growing exponentially, and when that sweet smile of Emma's turned playful and flirtatious, he felt he had to get to her and close this distance of space between them. His wife was simply too great a temptation, and Killian would not rest easy until he had her in his arms and away from the watchful eyes that surrounded them in this public space. But then interruption came from an unexpected place: another man approached Emma and tore her attention from him.

"That's not bloody happening," Killian muttered to himself angrily as he moved faster to get to his Swan. She was attempting to let the man down with a cool sense of indifference, but whether the interloper was drunk, delusional or both he wasn't taking Emma's signals. Instead he decided to push his luck and make a physical move on a woman who clearly did not want any part of it.

Before the slime ball could lay a hand on Emma, Killian grabbed the man's wrist and didn't bother to hide the hostility that wracked his body. He was furious, seeing red in a way that spoke only of danger for this piece of shit who wanted to make a move on his wife, and the tone of Killian's voice when he finally found the words was a mix of ice and venom.

"If you want to keep that hand, mate, you're going to stay the hell away from my wife."

"Wife?" The guy asked, looking at Emma accusingly, as if she were the one at fault here. "I didn't see no ring."

 _He wants a ring? He'll damned well feel mine when I punch his face in!_ Yet before Killian could do something drastic like drag the sorry excuse for a man outside, Emma's hand came to Killian's chest, pulling him back from his anger and calming him instantly.

"That's because you didn't look," Emma said in a feigned sense of sweetness as she showed her left hand. There, sitting in their usual place were her engagement ring and wedding band. The sight of them alone helped Killian feel better, and he hummed out a sense of approval.

 _Take that jack ass – she's taken, and she'll never want another as long as I live,_ Killian thought to himself as he pulled Emma closer, the need to stake his claim still strong despite Emma's deescalating the situation. Without any hesitations, Emma melted into his embrace, smirking up at him as she not so subtly dismissed the intruder.

"If you'll excuse us," Emma said, her eyes never straying from Killian's and the man behind them mumbled something incoherent before scurrying off with his tail between his legs. Killian, meanwhile, was focused solely on Emma, surrounding himself in her presence in the best way he could. Seconds ago he'd been infuriated, but the longer he spent in her direct company, the saner her became. It was startling just how much control over him this woman had, but Killian wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'm sorry, love," Killian said and Emma tilted her head, seemingly confused. "Not for setting that miscreant straight, but for getting our evening off to a less than smooth sail."

Now Emma smiled in full, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to his lips and taunting him with just the smallest taste of rum and the sweetness only Emma could bring. He was desperate to follow her lips and claim them in something more defined and unbridled, but he wanted to be sure she was okay after everything first.

"Can I tell you something?" Emma asked and Killian nodded, informing her that anything she had to share he wanted to hear. "I kind of liked it."

"You did?" Killian asked, surprised for the briefest moment before heat ran through his veins and understanding dawned on him. Emma appreciated that display of protectiveness and possession. Good to know.

" _Mhmm_. It's pretty hot to watch your husband go all caveman over you. Ten years and you've still got a thing for me," Emma teased as her fingers came to toy with his tie and trace down to the suit vest he was wearing.

"It's more than a mere _thing_ , love, as you well know," Killian ground out, making Emma laugh with his gruffness. He wasn't at all angry with her, but damn if she wasn't tempting him into a frenzy. They were supposed to be sharing a drink and then heading to dinner, but much more of this kind of attention and Killian would call the whole night off and drag Emma up to the suite they had this evening and remind her just how much more remained between them.

"I know, I know. You love me and I love you and we're that totally cheesy couple they put on the ads for true love and happily ever afters," Emma quipped, making Killian smile too as his hand came to cup her cheek and his thumb ran across the corner of her smile. "It's just kind of funny that you seem to think I'm going anywhere when you're the only one I want."

Hearing that easy profession of Emma's enduring love shouldn't have packed the punch that it did since he was fortunate enough to hear such assurances all the time, but Killian couldn't help it. After all this time is still felt like the greatest gift to know that Emma was just as deeply in this as he was, and that as happy as he was, she felt just as whole and completely and excited for all that they had together.

"I've never once doubted your intentions, my love. You are everything that is good and kind and honorable," Killian whispered, making Emma's eyes soften and her body move ever so much closer to his. " _But_ I think a good many people would like the chance to steal my girl, and when such opponents present themselves, I will always remind them that you're already spoken for."

"You're a regular knight in shining armor," Emma mused, the mirth in her tone returning as Killian shook his head.

"I'll be whatever you want, Emma. Just say the word and it's yours."

"So if I said that we should skip dinner and go upstairs right now…?" Emma trailed off, purposefully licking her lips and causing Killian to groan aloud again.

"I'd be completely beholden to your every desire. And I'd note that room service never sounded so bloody good."

And with his wife's laughter playing at his ears and her assurance that this was in fact the course that she wanted, Killian swept his Emma away to an evening filled with love and lust and the distinct source of happy that was unique to them and to the magic they'd found together.

…

 _She been my queen_

 _Since we were sixteen_

 _We want the same things_

 _We dream the same dreams_

 _Alright (alright)_

 _I got it all_

 _'Cause she is the one_

 _Her mum calls me 'love'_

 _Her dad calls me 'son'_

 _Alright (alright)_

 _I know, I know, I know for sure_

 _Everybody wanna steal my girl_

 _Everybody wanna take her heart away_

 _Couple billion in the whole wide world_

 _Find another one 'cause she belongs to me_

 _Everybody wanna steal my girl_

 _Everybody wanna take her heart away_

 _Couple billion in the whole wide world_

 _Find another one 'cause she belongs to me_

 _Na na na na na na (oh, yeah)_

 _Na na na na na na (alright)_

 _Na na na na na na_

 _Na na_

 _She belongs to me_

 _Kisses like cream,_

 _Her walk is so mean_

 _And every jaw drop_

 _When she's in those jeans_

 _Alright (alright)_

 _I don't exist_

 _If I don't have her_

 _The sun doesn't shine_

 _The world doesn't turn_

 _Alright (alright)_

 _But I know, I know, I know for sure_

 _Everybody wanna steal my girl_

 _Everybody wanna take her heart away_

 _Couple billion in the whole wide world_

 _Find another one 'cause she belongs to me_

 _Everybody wanna steal my girl_

 _Everybody wanna take her heart away_

 _Couple billion in the whole wide world_

 _Find another one 'cause she belongs to me_

 _Na na na na na na (oh, yeah)_

 _Na na na na na na (alright)_

 _Na na na na na na_

 _Na na na na na na_

 _She knows, she knows_

 _That I've never let her down before_

 _She knows, she knows_

 _That I'm never gonna let another take her love from me now_

 _Everybody wanna steal my girl_

 _Everybody wanna take her heart away_

 _Couple billion in the whole wide world_

 _Find another one 'cause she belongs to me_

 _Everybody wanna steal my girl_

 _Everybody wanna take her heart away_

 _Couple billion in the whole wide world_

 _Find another one 'cause she belongs to me_

 _Na na na na na na (oh, yeah, alright, yeah)_

 _Na na na na na na (alright)_

 _Na na na na na na_

 _Na na_

 _She belongs to me_

 _Na na na na na na (oh, yeah)_

 _(She belongs to me, yeah)_

 _Na na na na na na (alright)_

 _Na na na na na na_

 _She belongs to me_

 _ **Post-Note: So I know this was a short chapter, but I think it still packed that same sense of CS fluff I usually go for. Thank you so much to the reader who requested this song. I know it was a very long time ago, but I never forgot, and today finally felt like the day to sit down and write it. Also thank you to all of you for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!**_


	150. 11 Blocks

_**A/N: Reader requested AU oneshot where Killian and Emma broke up but they live in the same city, and for the past two weeks Killian has wanted to find a way back to her. He ends up going to her apartment one night after an evening out that he hated being at and he tells her he loves her and he's always going to. As you can probably guess, this ends up with nothing but fluff. Inspired by the song '11 Blocks' by Wrabel.**_

As a man of honor, Killian Jones had always found it difficult to lie. It was something that he preferred to avoid at all costs, and for that reason, the interlude he'd just endured as he dropped his 'date' for the evening back at her place was a real and true form of torture.

" _I had a great time tonight, Killian."_

The woman who his best mate, Will, had insisted Killian bring to the party tonight practically purred out her reply only minutes ago, and though her overly flirtatious tone and her clear signals that she wanted him to come up to her flat tonight might have enticed another man, it had left Killian feeling cold and hollow. That wasn't exactly an out of the ordinary occurrence as of late either, since every day he'd faced in the past few weeks had been nowhere short of miserable.

As it was, Killian hadn't even been able to try and verbally agree with her, though it was a baseline of expected politeness that he say something of the like. That was how vile the taste in his mouth was at the prospect of agreeing that he had enjoyed himself when he so clearly hadn't. So instead of filling the space between them with a falsehood he couldn't stomach, Killian muttered a disjointed goodnight before retreating down her walkway and strolling aimlessly through the streets of New York wishing he had never left his apartment this evening at all.

This had all been a massive mistake to put it lightly. He wasn't anywhere near ready to try and move on as his friends had insisted he should, and truth be told, Killian doubted that a time would ever come when he would get over Emma Swan, the woman who only two weeks ago had been the brightest and best part of his whole world. Even through their separation, Killian still found the best parts of his despondent days were the memories he had of Emma to cling to. Reminiscing about all the nights he'd fallen asleep with her in his arms, or the first moment she'd admitted that she loved him was all that got him through a day, aside from trying to figure out how he was going to win her back.

It wasn't going to be easy. Actually it was going to be damn near impossible given Emma's words to him the last time they'd spoken, but tonight had only solidified for Killian that he had to do whatever it took. He knew Emma was scared, and that she'd pushed him away because he'd gone too deep too soon, but damn it all to hell he would win her back, or he'd die trying.

With that resolution in mind, Killian felt at least some source of comfort, and he looked up to his surroundings, realizing that without knowing it he'd been heading not towards home, but towards Emma herself. All evening he'd thought over and over about how eleven short blocks separated him from the woman he loved. She was so close, and yet a million miles away, but as his feet pounded the pavement and he disregarded the bitter cold of the chilly night air, Killian was unwilling to let that distance slide. He was going to see Emma tonight and set all of this straight. He just had to.

If it were anybody else Killian was going to confront he might be worried about the timing of all of this. Friday nights were usually spent out and about by most people (thus his brief personal foray into society this evening), but Emma was different. She was a self-proclaimed loner, and someone who always preferred the comfort of a good book or movie after a long week of work over going out to the bar with superficial people who she didn't actually feel any connection to.

At one time that had made Killian feel incredibly special, because he was one of the select people she let into her inner circle and into her world, but it had also made losing Emma so much harder. Killian had fallen in love not only with Emma, but with the way things were with her too. That genuine openness and the lack of any airs or pomp and circumstance was addicting, and he missed those nights spent together more than anything. The bitter loneliness of their breakup was magnified even more every night when he went to sleep without her at his side.

" _I can't do this anymore, Killian. I tried, I really tried, but this… I can't give you what you need."_

Those words of Emma's still haunted Killian even now, mostly because of how utterly absurd they were. The only think Killian 'needed' in the whole world was Emma, and yet somehow she'd gotten it in her head that she wasn't enough. As if that weren't bad enough, Emma had also been cold and distant in that moment. It was an impossible cruelty, one that Killian rationally knew Emma hadn't meant to inflict, but after so many months of being on the receiving end of Emma's warmth and affection, her brusqueness had cut deep and left him in pain and unsure of what to do. By the time he even realized that he should be fighting to get her back she was hailing a cab and leaving, driving away from him and cutting off all the avenues he had to speak to her again. Then when he'd tried to go and see her the next morning, the only response he got was a note that she'd left in the jam of her door, a message that had wielded the final blow to his resolve and crushed him in one stroke.

" _If you really love me you'll let me go. Please."_

How was a man to deal with that? Killian hadn't the faintest idea, but he'd tried to give Emma what she wanted. Two weeks had come and gone and he willed himself to move past this or see any kind of light in the future at the end of this dark tunnel. But all the light in his world lay with Emma, and in the moment that he arrived at her apartment building and he saw her light on, Killian finally felt a trickling of hope. Tonight he would see his Swan again, and he had to believe that talking to her would make the difference.

With a bit of good luck, Killian managed to time his arrival at the same moment that one of Emma's neighbors was leaving the building, and he climbed the stairs two at a time until he was there, standing before her door with his hand raised to knock. He hesitated only a moment, counseling himself internally about this next step.

 _Whatever she decides, my love for her will remain. But I have to know. I have to see if this is truly what she wants, and if it is… I'll just have to survive it._

With that last bit of acceptance, Killian rapped at the door lightly his heart climbing into his throat as he waited. Then he heard footsteps approaching and he closed his eyes, sighing in relief. She was home, and God was that a happy thing indeed. Just the thought of her being out with someone else made his skin crawl, but it had been a risk when he came over unannounced like this. When the footsteps stopped, however, Killian swore he heard a gasp through the wood of the door, and his anxiety spiked. What if she didn't even open the door? What if –

Before he could fall too far off the rails in that manic thinking, the door swung open and there was Emma, looking just as beautiful as she always was. It felt impossibly good to see her again, and even if they weren't speaking, and things were still in this terribly unsettled place, Killian felt a sense of peace just being in her presence. She had fast become his everything over the months that they'd known each other, and for the first time in a long time Killian felt like he could actually breathe again.

"Killian?" Emma asked, almost like she couldn't believe he was there.

Killian himself needed a moment to get a grip. He was so wrapped up in how lovely she was and the sound of her voice. He had gone too damn long without it and without her. The ache that he'd been carrying around and that sinking sense of emptiness were finally being healed, not fully, but at least somewhat. It was like he was awake after wandering in some restless sleep for weeks, and the spark that had died out in his heart when she said goodbye lit once more, urging him on.

"Emma, I know you told me the last time not to come back here anymore – but I have something I need to say and you're going to listen. You don't get to just speak your peace and leave. I deserved more than that."

"I know," Emma whispered, her eyes going glassy and drawing Killian's attention to the slight red that rimmed them.

She appeared almost as if she'd been crying, but that was madness. Emma _never_ cried, not at the saddest movies or in moments of immense humor. He'd never seen the woman shed a tear, and though there had been moments when she was close, when she spoke about bad memories from her past in the system or the family she never had, Emma was always stronger than that.

That left Killian with two possibilities. The first was that something or someone had upset his Emma, and if that were the case he would do anything in his power to get retribution and avenge the hurt she was feeling. But the other possible explanation was a bit more probable and the thought of it filled Killian with a different sensation, one of hope and desire: perhaps Emma was just as torn up about this as he was, and if that was the case maybe this wasn't such a hopeless endeavor after all.

"I met someone tonight. The kind of person one builds a future with," Killian confessed, and the look on Emma's face was one of pure pain. He hated to see any show of hurt when it came to his Swan, but at the same time Killian felt vindicated. She did care! He knew she did, but she just was too stubborn to admit it.

"Oh. Then why are you here…?" Emma asked, her eyes looking away from him as an act of self-preservation and Killian hated the loss. He had already gone without her too much in his life as of late. He couldn't handle her withdrawing any more, so he moved closer to her and tipped her chin to look back up at him. When Emma didn't pull back he took it as a sign that he could still hope and he decided to be as honest as he could.

"Because I don't want a simple future, love. I want a life with _you_. The only woman in the world for me is you, Emma, and I don't care if it means you keeping me at a distance. Put me in any box in any corner of your life and I'll be happy. I won't push you for more than you're willing to give me. Nothing else matters but you, and I just… I had to tell you that you were wrong."

"I was?" Emma asked, though it almost sounded like a simple statement. There was only the slightest uptick in her tone that signaled at a query, but Killian ran his hand up to cup her cheek and he laid the rest of his feelings right there at her feet.

"Aye love. You said that if I loved you I would keep my distance, but loving someone, _really_ loving someone, means that even in the worst of times you stay and fight. It means that even when you're scared to death you stay, and I intend to stay Emma. As long as there's even a sliver of a chance for you and I, my place is here with you. And I can be strong for both of us if that's what it takes. I'll be the one to fight for what we had and what we could have."

A beat past between them when Killian had finally finished talking and then it happened; Killian watched as the tears Emma had been holding back since opening the door were set free and it was the most gut wrenching sight Killian had ever seen. He immediately wanted to fix it and to make it all go away, but before he could so much as speak Emma pulled him into her apartment, shutting the door and closing the space between them in a one fell swoop. Then she was kissing him like he was her lifeboat in the same chaotic storm he himself had been wading through for weeks.

The kiss was electric even in its sweet sincerity, and the flush of life and fire that Killian had felt just at seeing Emma was ramped up so much more. Not only was the love of his life here and in his arms, she was choosing him, letting him in, and granting him that touch and acceptance he'd so desperately craved. This wasn't Emma running, this was Emma letting him in, and the thought that all of this might work and that at the end of the day he might actually get the girl of his dreams to be his once more was heady and intoxicating and sublime in the extreme.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered when they broke apart, and the tears still streamed down her face. Killian moved to wipe them all away, and Emma closed her eyes as if the mere brush of his thumb against her cheek was the greatest relief. "God, I'm so sorry. I was just so stupid and scared and… it was the wrong move. I knew it the second I said those words to you, but I was just…"

"Terrified," Killian filled in and Emma nodded, her fingers clutching tightly at his shirt beneath his jacket as if she were truly worried that he'd slip away. If only he could show her that he had no intentions of leaving her as long as he was welcome.

"Yes. But that doesn't excuse what I did. I wish I had a reason Killian, a reason other than you being seemingly too good to be true, but I don't. All I can say – all I can _promise_ – is that I'm done running. The past two weeks have been torture, and when you just mentioned seeing a future with another woman -," Killian couldn't even bear to hear Emma finish that thought. He had to cut in and tell her that she'd misunderstood. He didn't want anyone but her and he never would as long as he lived.

"I didn't mean it that way, love. I only meant -,"

Emma interrupted him with another kiss. This time it was briefer, though still as sweet, and Emma's insistence could be felt from the embrace. When she pulled back her green eyes were warm again, warm and filled with the soft serenity Killian had only ever seen back in their best of times, when Emma was feeling perfectly safe and content and happy.

"I know what you were saying, and all I can say is that the future you want, I want it too. I was just too scared to let myself try and have it. I've actually been trying – I mean I called – God I even went to your apartment building last night, but I got so in my head and then I chickened out."

"So it was you?" Killian asked, recalling the moment last night when he'd caught a flash of red and gold outside his window on the street below.

His heart had told him it was Emma's blonde hair and her signature red leather jacket, but then he'd looked outside and she was gone. He'd assumed it was a dream, or that he'd just officially gone mental. It was actually the only reason he'd even agreed to go to the party tonight at all. It seemed like he was on the brink of an actual mental break and so he'd tried (and failed) to work out all the hurt and missing Emma that had filled him for weeks. Now to know that it had truly been her, Killian felt an insane amount of relief. Emma was really in this, and her walls against the two of them had been crumbling even before he came knocking on her door tonight.

"Yeah. It was me. I should have just gone up there, but now you're here. You're always here when I need you most," Emma whispered lovingly.

"Aye love. Even when I was gone, my heart has never left you. It's been yours since the start."

That was an understatement in many ways, for all of Killian had belonged to Emma, not just his heart. But in this quiet moment, Killian just let the rest of his words fall away. Instead he focused on the beautiful sight of Emma's smile, and he let her happiness wash over into him, filling him with more completion than anything else in the whole world ever could.

"I thought… I thought I'd never get the chance to see you look at me this way again," Emma confessed.

"And what look is that, love?" Killian asked, hearing his overwhelming bliss at having Emma back in his arms again clear as a bell.

"Like all you see is me, and like somehow I'm enough."

"You're more than enough, Emma. You are everything, and if takes my whole life I will prove to you that truth. I don't intend to let another day go by where you doubt that you are."

"I love you, Killian."

"You're damn right you do," Killian growled before kissing Emma again and showing her just how much he loved her in return.

From that moment on, there was never another time for Emma or for Killian where they chose to run instead of stay and fight. Even when the road was rocky, and life threw obstacles in their way, the two of them understood that they were stronger together than they ever could be alone. And that belief, that love would find a way, and that it was worth protecting at all costs, would see Emma and Killian to a long, happy life together where the future they dreamed of was made real, and it was even more amazing than either of them ever hoped.

…

 _11 blocks from my door to your doorstep_

 _Three years later and it feels too close_

 _I thought I broke the last of that breakdown_

 _The morning I sold your winter coat_

 _It doesn't feel right when I'm grabbing a coffee_

 _The same old spot, but I'm on my own_

 _I feel OK in the day, but at nighttime_

 _You know how I get when I'm alone_

 _Cause my mind won't stop; it's just 11 blocks_

 _I know that you're home_

 _Cause it's Friday night; you're not that type_

 _I know that you're home_

 _14 blocks from your door to this party_

 _I caught myself counting on the way_

 _And right when I stepped in the door to the party_

 _I stepped outside to grab a smoke_

 _You know how I get when I'm alone, no_

 _Cause my mind won't stop; it's just 14 blocks_

 _I know that you're home_

 _Cause it's Friday night; you're not that type_

 _I know that you're home_

 _Someone stop me, please, from hurting myself_

 _Cause I'm two blocks away and you're hurting my health_

 _And it's Friday night; you're not that type_

 _I know that you're home_

 _Somebody stop me_

 _I should be going home_

 _Somebody stop me_

 _Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah_

 _Well, I met someone_

 _And I think I'm in love_

 _But my mind won't stop; it's just 11 blocks_

 _I know that you're home_

 _Cause it's Friday night; you're not that type_

 _I know that you're home_

 _And I met someone and I swear I'm in love_

 _But I'm two blocks away and you're just like a drug_

 _My mind won't stop; it's just 11 blocks_

 _I know that you're home_

 _I got somebody_

 _Waiting for me at home_

 _I got somebody_

 _Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah_

 _11 blocks from my door to your doorstep_

 _Three years later and it feels too close_

 _ **Post-Note: Wow – chapter 150 is here, and I can honestly say that when I started the mixtape last January I never expected it to get to this point. With more than 400K words written and more than 60 prompted chapters from you, my lovely readers, this had turned into a collection that so far surpassed my expectations. And not only that, but I still have more than 20 prompted fics in my queue to get to, and many more ideas of my own. Anyway, I just want to say thank you to all of you – to those who read every chapter, and those who only pop in time to time, I truly hope that the fluff you've found here can help brighten your day somehow, and that you'll join me for more of this collection, since there is certainly more to come!**_


	151. God Only Knows

_**A/N: Reader requested future CS drabble (post final battle) where Killian is worried about problems that haven't even shown up yet and Emma consoles him. Includes newlywed feels and a baby on the way, so basically it is just fluff for days. Inspired by the song 'God Only Knows' but specifically the John Legend and Cynthia Erivo cover (which is gorgeous and totally worth a listen).**_

"And you're sure we can't do anything else?" Snow asked in an openly concerned way that showed she was truly desirous to help in any way she could.

"You've done more than enough, Mom. Dinner was great, thank you," Emma said smiling at her mother and hoping she'd believe her. This was, after all, the fifth time Emma had tried to assure her Mom that she and Killian were capable of handling things on their own. Luckily her father stepped in with a hand on her mother's arm, seeing a little extra assurance was needed.

"Come on Snow. I think this one's ready for bed," David offered softly as he nodded down to a yawning Neal and that was enough to convince his wife to depart, leaving Emma and Killian waving after them on the front porch as they left to return to the loft.

"It's not just my brother who's ready to call it a night," Emma joked to Killian easily. "Who knew after all this time that my mother could _still_ have stories from the Enchanted Forest? I thought by now we must have heard them all."

"Hardly Swan. I think we've a good many more years to go with those tales of hers."

When her parents had turned the corner and were finally out of sight, Killian's hand came to the small of Emma's back, leading her back inside from the cool night air. There was no need to clean or anything after her parents had come and taken care of all things domestic this evening. Emma actually was hard pressed to think of a single moment all night other than when they were actually eating where either her Mom or Dad had been still. Her parents were so amped up and constantly moving, creating a funny little spectacle whether they knew it or not, but it all came from a place of love and though she'd always be an independent kind of person, Emma had to admit it was nice to have her parents doting on her this way.

Actually, it was hard for Emma to pick exactly what part of her life she loved most in this moment. There were simply so many good things to choose from. Henry was growing more and more sure of himself every day and turning from the little boy she once knew to a young man with a bright future ahead of him. He was a teenager in every way, distracted by technology and a girlfriend and all sorts of other teenage dilemmas, but in his heart he was still Henry, that same great kid with so much belief that good would win, and so much love to share.

Then there were Emma's parents, who after years of fighting had finally found their times of peace, and their love for each other and for Emma and her brother was true and unwavering. It felt good for Emma to have family and to share in those strong bonds and connections, but she knew that her parents were even happier for this chance. Both of them had always had one ultimate goal in mind – to do right by their children and to share all of their love with them, and now _finally_ they had the opportunity to do that, when so many chances had been stolen from them before.

And then there was Killian, the man Emma had found her own happy ending with and the one she'd chosen to be with all the days of her life. They'd only managed to defeat the Black Fairy relatively recently, and they'd married in the midst of all that madness, but in all the time since Emma had known true joy and the contentment that could only come when things were really meant to be. She knew now that Killian had been a part of her destiny, and that even if the world had tried to pull them apart half a dozen times, they'd always find each other. That was their fate and it was something Emma was more than willing to embrace.

But even when things were going so well, stresses were bound to appear. Things couldn't always be smooth sailing even if 'the final battle' was behind them, and since they'd managed to find this happy state the stakes seemed that much higher. If another villain came to town waging war on all of them it meant more than losing a chance at a happy ending: it meant losing the future they were already building together, one that was about to take a new step in the form of another child.

Emma knew that idea of losing what meant the world to them was what was plaguing Killian tonight. She'd seen it all through dinner and felt that underlying wave of anxiety from where they'd sat together as her family visited, but she hadn't had the chance to say anything. Now, however, she intended to so they could put the fear behind them and get back to what really mattered – living in the moment and appreciating all that they did have while they could.

"You know if you tell me what exactly is on your mind, maybe I can help," Emma offered gently.

Her husband had taken up his favorite perch at the window in the house with the best view of the sea and Emma knew that in another situation he'd likely have gone down to the docks to see it in the flesh. As it was though, Killian hadn't been much more than an arm's length away from her since she shared the news about the baby, and his already prevalent want to protect her had climbed to an even higher degree. Emma appreciated that desire to keep her and their family safe just as much as she appreciated the impact of Killian's gaze when he turned from the window that overlooked the sea and looked her way.

When faced with those piercing blue eyes of his, there was no denying that Killian loved her and no doubt in Emma's mind that she was the most important thing in his whole world. His closing himself off like this wasn't because of her, but to spare her any undue worry, and though she appreciated Killian's trying to look out for her, she also couldn't allow this to go on. Whatever was wrong, they were in this together.

"There's no helping this, love. It's all for nothing – mindless worrying, nothing to concern yourself with."

Emma came and took his hand, leading him to the couch gently, glad that at least he was responding and that he wasn't trying to fend her off. She thought back briefly to all those times in their past when he'd been the one to try and help and she'd pulled away, and even the times when he'd had doubt and she was the one trying to hold it all together. Luckily they were past that now and Emma hoped they never returned to such a state again, but the key to staying above those old demons was knowing that in the other they would always have someone they could trust.

"Try me," she implored, seeing the moment when Killian's resistance crumbled.

"It's just… even in my dreams I didn't expect this Emma, not really. Everything we have, everything we're going to have…" Killian said as his hand moved to rest with hers above her stomach, feeling the tiny swell of where their new addition was already starting to grow. "It feels too good to be true. How can I possibly have gotten this lucky?"

"And when is the other shoe going to drop?" Emma added and Killian nodded, his fingers flexing ever so lightly and causing her heart to clench in her chest.

"Aye love. I know it's wrong of me to linger on the doubts, but the panic never truly fades. There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect you and our family, Emma, but I'm just one man. One man who's been beaten before."

The heartbreak in his tone reverberated through Emma, and she could claim it was the hormones from the pregnancy that brought tears to her eyes or she could be honest and admit her sympathy for Killian had such a strong pull. She never wanted to see him hurting, and she never wanted him to doubt himself and all he'd given her. He'd kept his word to her all this time and even when all hope was lost he found a way to find her again, to survive and to ensure when he did that they both lived the lives they wanted.

"You know what the best part of marrying you was for me?" Emma asked, coming at this from a seemingly random angle. Her approach was working though when she saw Killian's features soften and she felt some of the tension in him already ease away.

"Cementing your claim to my roguish charm and dashing good looks?" Emma smiled but rolled her eyes and moved closer to him, snuggling in to seep up the warmth only Killian had to offer.

"The best part was knowing that I would never be alone again. When we said those words, when we made our vows, we swore to face the world side by side. So you're not just one man – you're part of a team. We're stronger _together_ , and that strength is growing with this new change. We have so much more to fight for when it already felt like we had everything before."

When she said the words, Killian tilted her chin up to look at him and Emma felt the pulsing need within him. Whether he'd wanted to admit it or not, Killian needed to hear those words. He knew by now how much she loved him. She'd said it so many times and in so many ways, and she meant every word and every action that had proved it. But what he failed to see was that when it came to them, love truly could be enough. It would be the light that got them through the dark times, and it would be their strength in any battle still to come.

Instinctually Emma moved to close the rest of the space between them, pressing her lips to his and pulling him closer so she could show him just a little more of how she felt. A kiss like this, sweet in its sincerity but also filled with passion and heat and yearning was a rarity for many, but to them this was their life. This was what they'd found together, and Emma and Killian were only going to continue to let that love grow and flourish as their family expanded in the coming months.

"You're everything, Emma. You and this child are everything a man could dream to call his own," Killian whispered his forehead pressed against hers and his breathing ragged from the kiss. "Gods only know what I'd do without you, love."

"Good thing you'll never have to find out," Emma quipped, running her hand along his cheek and hoping that Killian trusted that promise because she truly meant it. There was just no way their story was headed for any more prolonged separation or terrible heartbreaks. Those chapters had passed and now they were on to bigger and better things.

"Good thing indeed," Killian agreed before pressing another kiss to her lips and sending those same dizzy flutters of happiness and bliss coursing through Emma once more.

And with that Killian came to his feet again, sweeping Emma in his arms and bringing her back to their room where they spent the night reminding each other just how lucky they were to have all this and still so much more to come.

…..

 _I may not always love you_

 _But long as there are stars above you_

 _You never need to doubt it_

 _I'll make you so sure about it_

 _God only knows what I'd be without you_

 _If you should ever leave me_

 _Though life would still go on, believe me_

 _The world could show nothing to me_

 _So what good would livin' do me_

 _God only knows what I'd be without you_

 _God only knows what I'd be without you_

 _If you should ever leave me_

 _Though life would still go on, believe me_

 _The world could show nothing to me_

 _So what good would livin' do me_

 _God only knows what I'd be without you_

 _God only knows what I'd be without you_

 _ **Post-Note: I've gotten such lovely feedback from so many of my readers with this series, and while some of you have big visions for chapters or songs that could be included in the mixtape, others are a little vaguer with their wishes. One common thread, however, is that people love when one part of this ship is worried and the other helps them get through it. I have to admit I love that trope too, and I REALLY love fics where these two lovebirds are expecting and finally getting the happiness they deserve. Dear God please let this show bring me that. Please, please, please. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I hope that you enjoy and have a great rest of your day!**_


	152. Remember the Time

_**A/N: This is a**_ _ **really**_ _ **old prompt (so sorry for the delay) for a cannon divergent fic where Emma loses her memories and Killian somehow makes her remember again. In order to accommodate that request I'm essentially rewriting a big part of 6A, so when the Evil Queen answered Emma's wish to never be the savior she doesn't send her to the wish realm, but takes away her memories of everything that happened from the moment Henry came to find her in Boston. For the purposes of this chapter I am also pretending that Emma and Killian were already engaged at this point and that Snow and David had broken the sleeping curse. Inspired by 'Remember the Time' by Michael Jackson.**_

" _I can't do this, David. Emma's hurt, our daughter is hurt and we did this to her."_

The woman's voice filled the darkness in Emma's mind and though it was faded and murky, as if it was transferring through some sort of distortions to reach her, it was there.

 _Am I sleeping?_ Emma wondered. She didn't know, but the voice wasn't familiar to her and the throbbing in her head was only grated further by the joining of a second voice.

" _The Queen did this, Snow,"_ a man said in a stern tone, but underneath it there was some doubt. Emma could hear it warbling through his words, which of course made absolutely no sense. What did a Queen have to do with anything?

" _To get to us – to ruin our happiness! I thought we were passed this. I thought we could have… I was wrong David, and now Emma's paying the price. She's always paying the price."_

" _It'll be alright. She'll wake up, and when she does we'll get through this. We always do."_

If Emma weren't struggling so hard to even open her eyes she'd probably give more thought to why these people were talking about her and who had a name like Snow and spoke about royals so nonchalantly. It was strange, foreign, and bizarre, but then another feeling came to her, a sense that her hand was holding onto something, or rather someone. That was the thing that befuddled her most, and she finally won the war between continued sleep and waking up to find out what was going on.

The first person she saw was the man holding onto her hand. He looked tired, worried, and like he was battling the greatest sort of grief, and for a moment Emma's eyes being opened went undetected. She studied him carefully, sensing even though it was crazy that this man's pain was over her current state. Who was he? And why did he care about her? She didn't know him – hell she'd never seen him before in her life, yet her hand was holding onto his, and she didn't immediately pull back, part of her liking the feel of this connection, something she'd gone without for so long.

"Mom?" The words came from a teenage boy on the other side of the hospital bed that Emma also didn't recognize. He was tall, gangly, and looking at her convinced she was his mother but that couldn't be. She didn't have a kid… okay so she _did_ technically have a kid but he would be younger – he'd be like ten or so and this kid was not ten.

"Emma! Oh Emma you're awake," the woman who'd been crying over her said, but when she reached out Emma flinched back, trying to avoid this person she didn't know.

"Look lady, I don't know who you are but I don't know you. I don't know any of you."

Emma said the words as she pulled her hand from the handsome man's grasp, but even as she said it her eyes caught on his blue ones and her heart skipped a beat. There was something in those eyes that captivated her, something that felt familiar but wasn't. Emma shook her head, trying to drag herself out of it but she couldn't. Even when she looked away she felt his gaze on her, daring her to give into whatever insane spark there was between her and this total stranger.

"Mom it's me, it's Henry," the boy said and Emma looked at him not knowing what to say. He couldn't be her kid. It just wasn't possible given the timing, even if there were little things about his features that could have been thanks to her or Neal. Ugh, Neal, another thing she didn't need brought up unless she wanted this headache to get worse.

"I'm sorry, you seem like a nice kid," Emma said trying to placate the look of sadness in the boy's eyes, "but you've got the wrong person. I'm not a mother, I don't have a son or any family for that matter, and I definitely don't need a bunch of people weirdly looking to me for something I don't want to give."

Emma reached for the tubes and IVs that she was hooked up to and began to take them off when the man beside her reached for her hand once more. The action alone was enough to still her, both because of its quiet insistence and its gentle nature.

"Emma."

Her name from his lips sent a shiver through her and she found herself heating at the slight bit of accent that shone through. Damn what was it about this guy? Whatever it was she had to fight it. She wasn't about to feed into anyone's delusions, even if he was arguably the hottest guy she'd seen in forever and totally into her. He surprised her though by not demanding he remember her as the others had.

"Let the doctor help you, love. You're free to go, no one is going to force you into anything, but best to leave the medicine to the professionals after the fall you took."

Emma hadn't expected him to be on her side or to be rational even, and it was clear the three other people in the room hadn't expected it either, but the man was clearly in charge right now and he set things in motion for all of them. He told the younger boy to grab the doctor and asked the man and woman who were there to find Belle and Regina. He didn't get more specific than that, but all of them complied, leaving a moment when it was just the two of them

"Thanks for that," Emma found herself saying, even though she should have insisted that he leave too.

"Not a problem. Can I get you anything else? Some water or some food perhaps? You were out a long time. I hate to see you wanting for anything."

The sweetness in the offer was another thing Emma simply wasn't used to. Everyone in her life had an angle, and that was saying something since she had pretty much no one at all. But in his mannerisms this man was giving away so much, and what it revealed was stunning to Emma. He truly just wanted to help her, and given her current state she could clearly use all the help she could get.

"Well you could tell me your name," Emma said, feeling embarrassed as soon as she said it. She immediately tried to cover her tracks. "You know just to even the playing field. You all seemed to know a lot about me, but I don't know you."

"It's Killian, love. Killian Jones." Of course he had a hot name. That was just her luck.

"Huh. Don't hear that one every day. So what happened to me, Killian? And where exactly am I?"

Killian appeared about to respond and to give her the answers to the questions Emma was grappling with when a doctor came in with that same young boy. He went through a series of tests with Emma, asking her all of these questions about the year and the date and where she was and she was shocked to find she failed every last question.

"Wait you expect me to believe that _years_ have gone by? I've been in a coma for years?" Emma asked, staring at the half a dozen newspapers someone procured from the waiting room for her and waiting to be told she was some kind of miracle case. Clearly if she'd been sleeping for so long and woke up there must have been some kind of one in a million situation, right?

"No Emma. You've only been out a day or so," Doctor Whale replied and Emma shook her head, not believing it.

"That's not possible," Emma whispered, her mind racing in a hundred different directions.

The last thing she remembered was bringing that jackass in for embezzling and screwing over his wife. She'd had to sit through the beginning of that dinner faking attraction to a man she knew was total scum, and then to make matters worse he'd unknowingly stumbled onto her weakest spot in the walls she'd erected to keep people at arm's length. That dig about her not knowing family had hurt and though she'd masked it with anger to start, Emma still recalled going back up to her apartment and caving to that sense of sadness as she blew out the candle on a cupcake she'd had to buy herself. It was a pathetic excuse for a birthday, and yet so achingly familiar. But after that everything was black. Had she gone to sleep? Had something happened? And more importantly, how the hell had she ended up in some sleepy, podunk town in Maine?

"I know it's a lot to take in right now, Emma. But we're telling you the truth," the woman from before said who had treated her like a mother would with all the care and worry Emma always assumed came from parents. This time she was carrying something, a small box decorated with flowers and lace, and when she opened it up to show Emma the contents of the compartment there were all sorts of pictures, pictures of Emma with the people in this room, and it was startling to say the least.

"You have a life here," the woman named Snow continued. "A family, a town you call home. You're the sheriff here, and the sav- I mean, a real figurehead for everyone. Those pictures are just little glimpses of the life you've made for yourself, Emma."

As her fingers danced across the vivid snapshots of a life Emma didn't remember at all, there were two warring emotions inside of her. The first was obviously fear, fear of the unknown and the fact that she did not have any recollection of any of this. But underneath that there was also a sense of longing. This life, this version of her, looked like it had been happy and Emma had never in her life been truly happy. Even in the moments when she thought she'd procured that all too elusive state, it came to nothing but heartbreak and pain. Yet in these photos, heartbreak was the last thing in sight.

 _It's a trick,_ Emma thought to herself. _It can't be real. Things like this don't happen. I'm not meant for a life like this._

"These could all be photo-shopped," Emma said, pushing the stack of photos away and shaking her head. She had to stay firm in the denial right now, because her head was saying that was the logical thing to do. She couldn't just cave to a beautiful story. She had to deal with the facts, and the facts as she knew them said that Emma was alone in the world and always had been.

"But they aren't Emma. Look into your heart – you know we're telling you the truth," the man named David implored and Emma could see that he, and everyone else making the case for her belonging here, meant this. Her usual alarm bells for people who lied weren't sounding, but that didn't necessarily mean anything.

"Just because you believe something is true does not make it real."

"That's what you said when I came to find you the first time," the young boy who Emma had been told was named Henry said. "But I proved you wrong. I helped you believe, and we'll do it again Mom. You'll see."

That felt like the final straw for Emma. These people weren't going to let this go and for Emma that was a nightmare. She had no inclination or desire to sit here and indulge in sweet but ultimately untrue fantasies. She was a realest, and despite the 'evidence' they all had presented, Emma did not think that this could all be possible. Now she just had to find a way to get out of here and get the hell out of dodge before these people could pull her too much further into their delusions.

"I think what Emma needs more than anything right now is space," Killian said, cutting through the talk that was sparking so much anxiety for Emma and calming her down a little bit in the process. She shot a look his way, finding that he looked far more in control than the others did, though there was some sadness in his expression too.

"Is that what you want, Emma?" The woman named Snow asked and Emma immediately nodded, causing the rest of them to almost recoil in pain. "Well alright then. But I think someone should stay with you. I don't want you to be all by yourself."

There it was again – the concept that in this alternate fantasy she wouldn't be alone. It was tantalizing for someone like her who had gone with out substantial bonds with anyone for so long, but it was also a risk. If you let down your walls it was the surest way to getting hurt, and Emma was done with that. She would rather be cold than wounded, but she also knew that an element of surprise would be her best bet here. So yeah, she'd allow someone to stay with her and then promptly give them the slip when she found a way to get out of this mess.

"Would you stay?" Emma asked Killian then and though his gaze softened some, Emma almost felt as if he could see through her mask to the designs she was concocting in her mind. Could he tell that she was planning to use him as a pawn in her escape? If he did, it didn't seem to matter since he promptly agreed.

"Aye, love. I'll stay."

Emma let out a relieved breath and offered the man a smile, which seemed to give everyone else enough faith in her acceptance to leave. The only thing was that when everyone else was gone, Emma was left alone with the hot – albeit delusional – foreign guy and forced to make more small talk.

"So..." Emma said, dragging out the word but still coming up with nothing to say. "Have you lived in this town long? What's the name of it again?"

"Storybrooke, and no I haven't. I was a wanderer for a long time before I found home in this place."

 _Just like me,_ Emma thought to herself. Though she'd never really called it wandering, she'd called it running.

"What made you stay?" Emma asked, actually curious. Even if he was crazy, she had this weird need to understand him. For some reason Emma genuinely felt a need to gain some kind of insight about him.

"A highly intriguing woman who I was starting to care for told me I could be a part of something if I chose to stay, so I made my choice."

 _Be a part of something_. The words zinged through Emma's mind, bouncing around in an interesting way. She couldn't quite explain it, and it made no rational sense, but Emma felt like she'd heard them before or maybe said them? She didn't know, and moreover she couldn't really care. There just wasn't room in her already anxiety-raddled head for more questions.

"Let me guess. I'm the woman," Emma replied sarcastically and Killian only gave a slight nod, clearly not wanting to push her with the memories. But the thought that she was the person was enough to make her laugh, surprising Killian when she did. "Sorry it's just… I'm not really the kind of person who gives the hope speech."

"That's something we had in common, love, but things change. For whatever reason circumstances shift, and sometimes we're destined to become more than we once were."

"Maybe," Emma whispered, surprised at just how deep his thoughts were. They were heavy in their intensity, but at the same time they trickled through Emma's mind with a tiny sense of interest and belief, like even if she couldn't remember it, she'd once viewed the world the same way. But before that new attitude could take hold, Emma mentally shook those thoughts away. She was starting to fall into the trap, and she had to be smarter than this. It was the only way to stay alive.

Looking out the window beside her and into the sunny Maine morning with it's cloudless skies, Emma noticed now that she was on the first floor, and that the windows weren't totally sealed shut, but able to be opened. It would be a tight squeeze to get out of, but Emma knew she could handle it. All she needed was two – maybe three – solid minutes of alone time.

"Killian?" Emma asked, pulling her eyes back to the mysterious man who seemed to care for her even more than he cared for himself.

"Aye, love?" he asked with a tenor that spoke to his intimacy with her.

"You mentioned food before… is there any way you could… I mean I don't want to put you out but -,"

"Say no more, love. I'll find you something. It likely won't be much given the offerings in that vending machine contraption but I'll make due."

Emma smiled at his eagerness to get her something and at the weird way he referenced the vending machine and in a surprising twist even to her, she reached out for his hand before he left, holding on and feeling the spark of attraction climbing higher once more. That zap of awareness was startling and totally new for Emma, but it also felt so unbelievably good even as it scared her half to death.

"Thank you," Emma said, feeling a little embarrassed at her gesture, but Killian was nothing if not smooth and he proceeded to place a kiss atop her hand like some gentleman in a period drama. Emma was then so distracted by the contact she didn't have any room in her mind to be bashful.

"I'll be right back," Killian promised and then he was gone, leaving Emma watching as he left and then for just a moment longer before she sprang into action.

The first order of business was getting disentangled from this whole set up, but as she was doing that something caught her eye and made her stomach plummet only to rise back up again in a flurry of butterflies. For there, situated in a very telling spot on her left ring finger, was a simple band with a diamond at the center of it.

"Holy shit," Emma muttered aloud. "How did that get there?"

It was a question that truly deserved an answer, and yet Emma had no time to find one. If she had any hope of getting out of here she had to go now, and she had a few tricks up her sleeve to get the scent of her trail after she threw on the clothes that had been laid at the foot of her bed. Only after those tasks were done did Emma sneak out the window, taking extreme care to shut it perfectly when she was outside so no one was the wiser of her having gone this way.

Once outside of the hospital, Emma was hyper-vigilant for any passing people. From what she'd gathered before from everyone who was visiting, Emma, at least in the delusions of this town, was well known around these parts. The last thing she wanted was to get recognized and have someone tip off the others. So instead she moved with a bit more stealth, slipping undetected from the hospital and making her way through a town she did not recognize at all.

This of course made it difficult for Emma to navigate but her instincts, for whatever reason, told her to follow the refreshing coastal breeze, which eventually led to the ocean's edge. It took about ten minutes, but finally Emma made it to a marina where a number of small boats were docked and idea struck – maybe she could rig one of these to go and she could coast even to the next town. At least then she'd be out of the purview of the crazy people who seemed to think she belonged here. But just for a moment she stalled there, taking in the calm laps of the waves down below and the feint cry of shore birds as they flew above on this mild day.

"Not a bad getaway all in all," a voice said, and Emma didn't even bother to startle because she knew immediately that it was Killian. "Good diversions, an impeccably timed exit, and a misleading trail in the wrong direction. I gather the others will be searching for you for a good while."

Emma closed her eyes at the praise, which even its sarcasm was somehow flirtatious. It was maddening to say the least that Emma was feeling this much for a guy she literally did not know. She was way too susceptible to this stranger after years of not letting anyone affect her at all, and before she turned to face him she had to get it together. So Emma took a deep breath and then attempted to do so.

"But you're different," Emma supplied flatly though she was still very curious as to how he'd found her. "Why?"

"Because I know you better than I know myself, Swan. Even if you've forgotten."

God how tempting it was to believe that, that a man like Killian who was obviously caring underneath that bad-boy swagger and problematically attractive appearance actually knew her that intimately and chose to stick around. But even if Emma felt herself slowly succumbing to his charms and the desire to believe him, she decided to be rational over following her stupid, foolish heart.

"Maybe you _think_ you know me but you don't."

"If it's a test you need, Emma, then go ahead and ask. Clearly you require more proof and that's fine. Hell it's right even. Walking into something blind is a fool's errand, and my Swan is no fool." Emma's gut clenched at the mention of her being his, but she pressed forward, pushing through the slight bit of infatuation on her part to the truth of the matter.

"Fine. What do you know about my past? What have I apparently told you?" Emma asked, not trying to be so transparent but actually wanting proof. If they were so closely bonded (and heck presumably engaged) he must know things that no one else would. She couldn't just believe him even if she desperately wanted to; she had to see it.

"I know you were in and out of eleven homes when you were a kid, twelve if you count Granger House the two times you were there. I know you used to talk to the counselors in those places about your parents and finding them, but that when you were eight you gave that up. That was the year you stopped believing anyone would ever come looking for you. That was the first time you ever used the word orphan."

Hearing that sent a spike of sadness through her. It was all accurate after all, and the timing and details were there, but back in those homes she'd had monthly check-ins with social workers and state-appointed shrinks. Emma could have easily said something that got recorded into the system, faulty as it was. It wasn't exactly a secret to her back then – not something she'd played so close to the vest that no one could know.

"All of that could have been in my file." Emma expected Killian to look hurt by her continued doubts but he didn't. The same patience was there as was his will to give her what she wanted.

"I know you have this memory of the beach from when you were twelve. It was an usual treat and a bright spot in a life that needed so many more of them. You had something called a 'funnel cake' and so much of that stringy pink sugar that you got sick, but you didn't want anyone to know because you thought they'd make you leave, so you rallied, willing yourself to get over it so you could have your one day in the sun."

Emma had never told anyone that story before because by then she'd stopped cooperating with the shrinks and the other system affiliates. She knew how to play the people who were supposed to be helping her by then and she'd gotten quiet too, not offering much up to anyone, especially not adults.

"I know that the third time you ran away from a foster home you ended up miles away in a diner not so different from the one here in Storybrooke. You spent the whole afternoon watching a grandmother help her grandson with learning his letters and you sat there for over an hour wracking your brain and trying to remember who had taught you. Then you finally recalled it was a volunteer at your home at the time. Her name was Cassie and she had red hair."

Okay, so there were three possibilities for what was happening right now – either this guy was straight up clairvoyant, he had an uncanny ability to guess the minor details of people's lives, or he _did_ know her, and somehow it was the latter possibility that made the most sense to Emma. Yet Killian pressed on, continuing to offer more facts at her feet.

"I know that the choice you made to give up your boy haunted you for a long time, even if you pretended that it didn't so you yourself could survive. And I know you can't remember but I promise you made amends, love. You became the mother you were always meant to be, and Henry has known real love in his life because of you."

God Emma hoped that part could be real, because after so many years of burying down the pain of letting that baby go she would like to believe she'd been strong enough to make it right. She didn't have the details, and hell from some of the stuff people had said since she'd woken up Emma could only imagine how messy and complicated they were, but if Killian said that she'd done right then maybe she could actually trust that she had.

"I know that you have never known an anger like the one you had for your parents at giving you up. The pain they caused you hurt worse than anything else, more than any break up or fake friend or false hope. They were your surest source of heartbreak and you carried their abandonment with you always, but somehow you managed to forgive them when all was said and done. You're a woman of such strength that you moved past the worst scars etched on your heart, Swan. And that's a feat so few people can ever hope to conquer."

How that could have ever happened Emma would never know, but still the truth remained in Killian's eyes as he stepped forward and took her hand in his. He wasn't lying and so Emma had to imagine that it was possible. Even if it seemed like it could never happen, surely somehow she had found a way. Maybe after all this time and this whole life of running she was stronger than she knew.

"I know you put cinnamon on your cocoa every bloody time you have it," Killian said and a laugh bubbled past Emma's lips at the random, and more lighthearted fact. "It's not a sometimes kind of love affair you have with that concoction, it's a constant, so much so that if I even try to pass it off without you get this scrunched up look like I've denied you when that's never my intention."

Emma felt her heart constrict at those sweet words. Being denied things that she wanted was just a fact of Emma's life or her old life or whatever. What she knew about herself before this town was bland and dull and gray. It was hopeless in so many ways, but there had always been that trickling of want under the surface. Buried behind the walls she'd cast in stone around her heart there were murmurs of what could be if she could only find it. A family, a home, a man who looked at her like Killian was looking at her right now.

"And I know that even if you never wake up from this I'll always love you, Emma. You've been the keeper of my heart for so long now, and that will never change. No matter who you are or what you've done, I love you Emma Swan. You and only you."

A flash of something sparked behind Emma's eyes, and it was an image of Killian. He looked different and their surroundings had been darker, colder, and less safe but Emma recognized it. It was fleeting and gone in a second but she garnered something from it and gasped at the realization.

"You've said something like that before to me," Emma whispered and Killian's eyes grew wider as he took a step closer, invading her space with the scent of rum and leather and sun. It was intoxicating and filled Emma with this rush of need and adrenaline.

"Indeed I have, love. Do you remember?"

"I… I don't know. You got anymore lines that memorable?" Emma said, somehow managing to joke even in the midst of this emotional moment. Killian laughed at that and grinned as his hand came to cup her cheek and his other arm moved around to pull her closer.

"A fair many I'd say. Let's see… I'm a fan of every part of you."

Another flash of something, this time indoors and with less of a feeling of darkness and evil around them. He'd been calm, open, and honest like he was now, and Emma had felt so full of hope. She remembered believing in something – in them – but there wasn't much else.

"Keep going," Emma told him and Killian smiled wider.

"You're something of an open book."

That worked too, though the surroundings in that were wild. They were climbing something high in the sky. What the hell had they been doing on a beanstalk? But it was real – Emma was certain even in it's wildness that it had actually happened.

"When I win your heart, it will not be because of any trickery. It'll be because you want me."

Another memory flashed to the forefront, this time in a jungle of some kind and with it Emma got a little more. There were other flashes too, not just of Killian and her but of those other people who'd been at the hospital like her parents and her son. It was all clicking together, and Emma felt her hands clutching into Killian's shirt, pulling him closer with every new piece of the puzzle.

"I'll never stop fighting for us," Killian whispered and that brought so much more flooding back not just of the moment he'd said it but all the moments that he fought for her and that her family fought for her too. By this point there were tears in Emma's eyes, and they'd begun to fall against her cheeks, but Killian whipped them away looking like at any second he might kiss her and she was so damn ready for him to do so.

"There's one thing I want you to be certain of – that I will always, always be by your side."

And that was it. The dam truly broke in that moment and everything was back, every memory good and bad, painful and healing was given to Emma once more and those feelings of uncertainty were gone. Emma knew again who she was and where she belonged and it was right here, in this town, with this man who loved her just as much as she loved him.

"Hook," Emma whispered, watching the moment when Killian knew she remembered everything and that look of relief and love and desire was enough to have her moving towards him at lightening speed.

In seconds their lips had crashed together, and the kiss was all passion and need and the leftover crazed feelings that their mental separation had brought. For Emma knew as hard as it had been for her to forget, it must have been so much worse for Killian. Couple this with the fact that this wasn't even the first time he'd had to deal with that and Emma was overwhelmed, needing her true love to be certain that she was truly back again and she was so done with leaving.

"You always find a way to save me," Emma said when they pulled back and Killian hummed out a happy sound as he made small circles along her back. The sensation was at once soothing and revitalizing, making Emma feel with every passing second like she was returning more and more to herself.

"That's kind of our story, love. We're in this together and the saving most certainly goes both ways."

Emma knew Killian was right in his reply, and that prompted her to think back quickly on all those times when the chips had been down and they'd found their ways back to each other. There had of course been many trials, but for every one they faced there were also triumphs and the building of hope for both of them. Their love had formed in the midst of many storms, but Emma was sure that it had made them that much stronger. There was nothing that they wouldn't over come, not with a love as true as this one.

"Here I was thinking we were just a princess and pirate," Emma teased loving the moment when Killian growled out a sound that signaled his seeing things rather differently. But before he could get too moody over her teasing, she quickly kissed him again, bringing back that look of complete satisfaction that had been there moments before.

"You know I never wish to argue with you when I can help it, Swan, but in this case you're dead wrong. We've always been more and we always will be."

"You're damn right," Emma murmured totally agreeing with her devilishly handsome man's assessment on this miraculous love they'd found together. 

And with that, and a few more stolen kisses there on the docks, Emma and Killian returned to the others, both renewed in their desire to fend off this darkness and villainy plaguing their town once more. Because when it was behind them, and when the final battle had been fought and won, they could _finally_ get back to the happiness they'd been working so hard for and the life they were meant to find together. And Emma was certain deep down in her heart that it would be a truly beautiful and magical happy ending, the likes of which no one had ever seen before.

…

 _Do you remember_

 _When we fell in love_

 _We were so young and innocent then_

 _Do you remember_

 _How it all began_

 _It just seemed like heaven so why did it end?_

 _Do you remember_

 _Back in the fall_

 _We'd be together all day long_

 _Do you remember_

 _Us holding hands_

 _In each other's eyes we'd stare_

 _(Tell me)_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we first met girl_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _Do you remember_

 _How we used to talk_

 _(Ya know)_

 _We'd stay on the phone at night till dawn_

 _Do you remember_

 _All the things we said like_

 _I love you so I'll never let you go_

 _Do you remember_

 _Back in the Spring_

 _Every morning birds would sing_

 _Do you remember_

 _Those special times_

 _They'll just go on and on_

 _In the back of my mind_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we first met girl_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _Those sweet memories_

 _Will always be dear to me_

 _And girl no matter what was said_

 _I will never forget what we had_

 _Now baby!_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we first met_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we first met_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _When we fell in love_

 _Do you remember the time_

 _Remember the times_

 _Ooh_

 _Remember the times_

 _Do you remember girl_

 _Remember the times_

 _On the phone you and me_

 _Remember the times_

 _Till dawn, two or three_

 _What about us girl_

 _Remember the times_

 _Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you_

 _Remember the times_

 _In the park, on the beach_

 _Remember the times_

 _You and me in Spain_

 _Remember the times_

 _What about, what about_

 _Remember the times_

 _Ooh, in the park_

 _Remember the times_

 _After dark_

 _Do you, do you, do you_

 _Remember the times_

 _Do you, do you, do you, do you_

 _Remember the times_

 _Yeah yeah_

 _ **Post-Note: So even though this was a prompt that took me so long to figure out, when I finally got my idea sorted it was a pleasure to write. In many ways it reminds me of the 100**_ _ **th**_ _ **chapter I did ('This Love') with the flashbacks to their big moments, but at the end of the day my hope was basically to write a piece that includes two things – fluff (duh) and a sense that the show doesn't always give us that out of everyone in her life, it's Killian who knows Emma best. I like to believe that since the walls are down Killian does have those stories of Emma's past, and he does have that insight into her that her parents or Henry might not have and that would have made him the perfect person to wake her up so to speak. Anyway, thank you very much to my extremely patient reader who requested this eons ago, and I hope that you all enjoyed and that you have a wonderful rest of your day!**_


	153. Lovely

_**A/N: Reader requested future CS drabble where Emma is very pregnant and feeling less than beautiful, but Killian is all compliments and genuine love and sweet gestures. It's told from Killian's POV because I get a lot of requests for those and is inspired by the song 'Lovely' by Hollyn (which you should all go check out).**_

Walking through the front door of his and Emma's home with enough supplies to get them through a few much-needed days alone, Killian recounted every purchase he'd made at the store on the way back to the house and believed he'd gotten everything they needed.

With Emma's being pregnant there was a wider array of 'essentials' now in the Jones household, all of them ranging in their level of edibleness in Killian's eyes, but it was better to be safe than sorry, and if Killian had his way he'd be getting the chance to spend the whole weekend with his wife without interruption or imposition. The last thing he wanted was to be unprepared and sacrifice that time together, especially with the baby coming in just a few weeks. Soon enough there'd be far fewer quiet moments in their already busy life, and while they had them Killian intended to soak up every second that he could.

"Wow – is there even anything left at the store?" Henry asked as he moved down the stairwell with his backpack slung over his shoulder and a wry grin on his face. Killian couldn't blame the lad for the jest either, for he probably made quite a sight with all these parcels in his arms.

"Aye but barely," Killian informed him and Henry laughed, shaking his head as he came to help unpack without even having been asked. It was a quick task with the both of them working together, and Killian was highly appreciative of the effort on his stepson's part.

"Well I'd say you were going overboard, but with Mom these days you never know. You know I caught her last night making a peanut butter and nutella sandwich?"

"That doesn't sound so bad. Actually that sounds rather pleasant," Killian said, knowing that he himself had witnessed much stranger fare in Emma's meals as of late. This late night snack honestly sounded rather commonplace in comparison to some of the dishes Emma had concocted over the past few months.

"Yeah but then I found out she put cheddar flavored chips and cupcake sprinkles in there too."

Okay that sounded about right, and by 'about right' Killian meant totally revolting and unimaginable to him. But even if the strange mixes made both Killian and Henry a little squeamish, it mattered not to Killian. As long as his wife was happy, he'd be happy too and since this pregnancy hadn't exactly been the easiest of endeavors, Killian would always favor moments when Emma found satisfaction, even if the means of getting there were rather odd to say the least.

"According to your grandfather that's to be expected. Snow was the same way, but from the stories I gather it was far worse. He said something about them not having 'hohos' or 'jalapeno poppers' in the Enchanted Forest, whatever that means."

Henry nodded as if he too had spoken with David and from Killian's personal experience he was just glad that his partner in all of this was Emma. Because even if she had been struggling in some regards with mood swings and unexpected flare ups of magic, she was still as strong and as determined as ever. Emma would not let the fact that she was expecting impede her from living her life or protecting the people she loved, and she continued to push forward even when so many others would have had to stop from all the exertion.

It was that courage and tenacity that inspired Killian to rise to the occasion as well. At first when he'd heard about the baby he'd been shocked, delighted to be sure, but also thrown for a loop. He and Emma had only just married two months before, and though both of them had discussed their want for a child together and the chance to grow their family, it was still unexpectedly fast when all was said and done. Undoubtedly it was a blessing, but suddenly there were a whole host of things to learn and ready and prepare for.

Over the first few weeks especially Killian found more and more anxiety creeping in that he would somehow mess this up or not be a proper father to their child. What was a pirate really to know about infant care after all, but through Emma's assurances and example Killian was able to let go of all of that. Now he had largely given over to a complete and all consuming bliss and at every turn he found himself grateful for this beautiful life Emma had given him instead of worried for things that may or may not happen.

"Just make sure Mom gets a chance to relax," Henry said when all was said and done with the unpacking. "She can't keep going going going the way she has been. She deserves a break."

Henry was certainly right about that, since despite everyone's insistence, Emma had taken pretty much no time off from the station. She was still working almost completely normal hours, and though Killian had been able to pull her away from the fray of all that work quite a few times, he still wanted a more tangible form of rest and recuperation for Emma. Only then would he feel like he'd really done his duty as her husband and the father of their unborn child.

"Those are my thoughts exactly lad, and not to worry, I'll make sure your mother wants for nothing all weekend."

Henry expressed his thanks for that before heading out and over to Regina's and then Killian was left to himself for a while yet. Emma still had about an hour of work at the station, and in the meantime Killian had plans of his own. He wanted to create an environment that would bring together all of Emma's favorite things and provide her with that sense of comfort she so rightly deserved. But while he organized the house in a way that would provide that, Killian's mind wandered to the next chapter he and his wife would be stepping into when the baby finally arrived.

He could picture his future daughter so clearly in his mind already (and he knew that it would be a daughter thanks to Emma's many visits to the doctors in town). In those imaginings Killian was positive that their little girl would be just like her mother. In looks perhaps she'd share a bit of Killian as well, but in her heart and her spirit he foresaw their little princess being just as fiery and passionate and brave as her Mum. It was simply destined to be that way, and Killian was more than ready for the chance to meet their little one and to protect and love her just as much as he loved his Swan.

Killian's mind was so consumed with these daydreams and musings about the future, in fact, that he missed the feint whooshing sound that always came when Emma used her magic to appear back at home. It wasn't until her voice sounded out to him that he realized his wife was with him once more and he felt that sense of rightness return that always filled him when Emma was near.

"I'll pay you a hundred dollars if you can stop smiling right now," Emma teased and Killian turned immediately to find her with a smile of her own.

His wife was a vision like this, with her hair hanging loose and her eyes shining with love for him, but in the moment when her hand came to cover her baby bump absentmindedly Killian felt all his constant feelings of need and love and want rushing back to the surface. Gods she was perfect, and Killian couldn't help but trace over every part of her right now trying to commit this moment to memory. He had lived a very long life to be sure, but at no point in time had he ever known moments more precious than those shared with Emma, and he would be damned before he ever let them go.

"That's a bet I could not win, my love."

"I know," Emma quipped as she started to take off her jacket and Killian immediately came over to assist, loving the feeling when Emma handed over the reins to him, allowing him to help her as he so truly wanted to. "It would have been easy money."

Killian agreed that it would have been before asking Emma about her day and only then did he watch her smile fracture slightly. His Swan let out a deep sigh, as if she'd been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, but Killian knew she was really carrying something so much more precious. Their child would be the brightest spot in any realm save for perhaps her mother, and Emma was doing them both the greatest serving in keeping her safe and cared for now.

"Well aside from me feeling like a beached whale all day it was fine. I'm just so… huge, and I'm not really loving it."

Even as she said the words and made her confession of dislike for this current state as she waddled into the kitchen, Killian knew that there never came an instant when Emma resented being pregnant. Because as inconvenient as this larger belly and the swollen ankles and the sudden mood swings might be, they would all be worth it in the end. In just under a month their little girl would be here, and though that would bring with it new trials (like sleepless nights, and anxieties about doing their absolute best for their daughter) it would also be the start of an amazing new chapter.

"You might not feel as you once did, Emma, but I can safely say you've never been more beautiful to me," Killian whispered as he came to stand behind her at the kitchen counter.

He watched then as his wife closed her eyes, and her breathing began to even out once more. Emma could clearly feel that he meant the words but Killian doubted that she'd ever truly know just how much he meant them. So he tried to make her see, whispering words of praise and love as he pressed kisses to her neck and then her cheek.

"You have to say all of that," Emma replied as a small smile came to play at her lips. "You're the one who did this to me."

Killian couldn't help the growl that sprung from his chest at Emma's teasing accusation. He most certainly had been the one to do this to her, and he was bloody proud of it too. There was nothing he cherished more than being her husband and the man that she'd chosen, and having a child with her, bringing more life into this world that they were creating for themselves, was his surest pleasure.

"As I recall this was a mutual decision love, and you were most certainly involved in the getting here, or have you forgotten that part?" 

Killian purposefully laced his voice with that hint of seduction that always worked on Emma and he felt her shiver at the question. Before she could respond though, he moved his hand and hook over her hips, distracting her with sensations that he knew would be her undoing. Emma had always been passionate, but since getting pregnant that need had only grown more and Killian was all too happy to sate that hunger his wife had. In fact, it was his hope that much of this weekend would be spent doing exactly that.

"How could I? Here I was thinking I'd be the insatiable one with all these hormones, but you're just as bad."

Killian chuckled at Emma's response but damn he loved her honesty. There was no hiding from her feelings or her desires. They'd left all hiding at the door the minute she walked down that aisle to him and they'd made their vows to always love and fight for one another. There were no more walls our boundaries between them, only the resolute fact that they were a team and that they belonged together always.

"What can I say, love? When you're right, you're right."

Emma's hand came to cover his then, her thumb rubbing over his coarser skin in gentle strokes as she edged back against him a little more, her body coming flush with his in a tantalizing way. And then she flicked a glance over her shoulder at him and gave way to more flirtations that Killian simply couldn't resist.

"Hmm. You know women love hearing that they're right. It's quite an aphrodisiac."

Killian's immediate reaction was to think of all the other ways he had to ignite that fire for his lovely wife. Time had been the greatest teacher in all things that could give his Emma pleasure, and these past few months had been filled with Killian stealing chances to do just that. At times they'd even been a little reckless in their interludes, not only consummating their happiness in the house but at the station, in the bug, and even one time at the back of Granny's. Just the thought of all those interactions had Killian's heart pounding louder in his chest and his hand running up along her curves, purposefully eliciting another shiver from her, and her candid response teased him just as badly as he was teasing her now.

"Forgive me Swan, but I don't give a damn what _women_ love. The only one I care about is you."

"And this is why I love you," Emma whispered sweetly, turning around to face him and pressing a kiss to his lips, one that Killian was more than happy to accept.

"Now, any thoughts on how we should start our weekend away from the rest of the world?" Killian asked and Emma smiled, beaming up at him with a look that Killian would never feel worthy of, but treasure all the days of his life. Gods was he a lucky man, and he'd never be fool enough to forget that fact as long as he lived.

"I have a few," Emma countered, and then with a flick of her wrist and a puff of white magic she transported them upstairs to their bedroom to initiate a weekend filled with pleasure and comfort that both Emma and Killian thoroughly enjoyed.

…..

 _They say picture perfect, filter do your thing_

 _They floating lies, make this young girl doubt what she think_

 _Not showing enough, not sexy enough, no way_

 _Too dark, too light for us, nah, that look ain't gon' play_

 _Words are bouncin' 'round my head_

 _I can't stop their echoing_

 _Trippin' on that negative_

 _But You call me lovely_

 _You say I'm wonderfully made_

 _Your river floods me_

 _Your Words feel like a serenade_

 _I love that You are thinkin' of me_

 _All of those voices fade away_

 _When You call me lovely_

 _Lo-o-ovely_

 _Lovely, You call me lovely_

 _You call me lovely_

 _And I'ma soak in it_

 _And I'ma soak in it_

 _And I'ma soak in it_

 _No I ain't even gonna fake it_

 _Don't wanna leave without no make-up_

 _This ain't made up_

 _When I ain't made up_

 _Always wonderin' what they thinkin'_

 _So afraid of what they sayin'_

 _When I ain't fixed up_

 _Got me mixed up, no-no_

 _Words are bouncin' 'round my head_

 _I can't stop their echoing (echoing)_

 _Trippin' on that negative_

 _But You call me lovely_

 _You say I'm wonderfully made_

 _Your river floods me_

 _Your Words feel like a serenade_

 _I love that You are thinkin' of me_

 _All of those voices fade away_

 _When You call me lovely, (hey!)_

 _Lo-o-ovely_

 _And I'ma soak in it (soak in it)_

 _And I'ma soak in it (soak in it)_

 _And I'ma soak in it (soak in it)_

 _The way You love me_

 _The way You know me_

 _The way You always got the time for me_

 _I'ma soak in it_

 _I'ma soak in it_

 _The way You see me_

 _The way You keep me_

 _And I know that I don't make it easy_

 _I'ma soak in it (I'ma soak in it)_

 _I'ma soak in it (I'ma soak in it, soak in it; hey!)_

 _Oh-oh-oh-ohh_

 _I'ma soak in it (I'ma soak in it)_

 _I'ma soak in it (I'ma soak in it)_

 _And You call me lovely_

 _You say I'm wonderfully made_

 _Your river floods me (oh, Your river floods me)_

 _Your Words feel like a serenade_

 _I love that You are thinkin' of me (thinkin' of me)_

 _All of those voices fade away_

 _When You call me lovely, hey! (You call me, You call me)_

 _Lo-o-ovely_

 _You call me lovely_

 _Lo-o-ovely_

 _You call me lovely_

 _Lo-o-ovely ..._

 _ **Post-Note: I think it's safe to say that I will never get sick of writing fluffy drabbles where Emma and Killian get to live their happy ending, and I want to thank not only the reader who requested this, but all my lovely readers who send in prompts for enabling me to continue doing that. It's always so fun to just forget the real world for a spell and write something like this, and I appreciate the fact that so many of you are so lovely and supportive and here on the journey with me. Anyway, I am still chipping away through the hoards of prompts I have for this series, and I am hoping to do them all justice though the process is pretty slow. Just know they will get done eventually and in the meantime I am wishing you all a lovely day and a great rest of your week!**_


	154. Seeing Red

_**A/N: This is an AU oneshot where Killian's a dual citizen and he's serving in a marine deployment overseas for a year. He and Emma fell in love before he left, and now he's finally back and hoping to convince her that they should both be in this for the long haul. Since it's a reunion after so long (and because I needed it this week) I have included some smuff and a fair bit of CS cuteness. Inspired by a reader request for the song 'Seeing Red' by Dustin Lynch. Rated M.**_

 _Bloody hell, could time move any fucking slower?_

That was the resounding thought that Killian had been grappling with for the past few days. In truth it had been a constant state of mind for him since he and his unit were shipped from the front lines back home, and all through their hours upon hours of travel Killian had been plagued with wishes that the minutes wouldn't pass like days. He just needed to get home and back to his Swan, the single best part of his world and the one person he'd been truly fighting for all those months on the battlefield.

Knowing that he was so much closer to reuniting with Emma than he had been the whole past year when he was away did very little in the way of calming this need. He had missed her to a degree that couldn't be fully articulated, and the feeling like something had been fundamentally missing from his life when he was away was only more achingly deep right now than it had been when he was a world away. At least out there he'd had the action of the day to day and the struggle for survival to distract his frayed nerves. Now he was just a bundle of anticipation, waiting for this SUV to get them home already.

"You doing alright Cap?" one of his fellow marines who everyone lovingly named Tink asked. "You seem a little antsy."

That descriptor sent a laugh throughout the whole car but Killian only grumbled, trying to ignore the barb as best he could. They could chuckle at his expense all they wanted. The only person who could even begin to comprehend his feelings right now was his best friend and second in command David, since he had also left a woman he loved back home here. Even then Killian doubted his best mate had been struggling with a similar sense of heart wrenching displacement. His friend was always the picture of composure, and Killian simply couldn't be composed when everything he wanted was almost in his grasp but not quite there yet.

"Antsy is one term to call it. I haven't seen Hook this bad since that night in Paris when August tried to introduce him to those two French girls."

Killian hated even the mention of that memory because it was so abhorrent to him. He had been frustrated that their leave was both so short and still half a world away from Emma (who wasn't able to come to meet him given the late notice of their three day reprieve) that he was already in a less than amicable mood, but then when August had tried to cheer him up with the company of another anonymous woman, Killian had had it. His temper most certainly got the better of him and he'd almost lived up to that nickname of his that the unit loved to remind him of – Captain Hook.

He'd earned that moniker years ago back in training when one of the prospective members of their ranks had been a right asshole and Killian took him out with one punch the second they were off base. Add to that the accent that was strange to see amongst American soldiers and the fact that Killian preferred rum to any other drink and he'd been labeled a pirate. Not that Killian minded much usually even with his namesakes penchant for perms and waxed mustaches. As far as military nicknames went his was pretty solid. It definitely beat David's anyway, which was Prince Charming.

"Don't mind Killian," David said as if knowing that de-escalation was needed. "He'll be better once he gets back to Emma. Until then, you'd be foolish to push his buttons."

And wasn't that the truth. Luckily for the others in the car they seemed to understand that, and Killian was able to tune out their continued talking as they drove further and further from the base back home. But there did come a moment, however, when Killian felt cross again mostly because he was surprised in a way he did not want to be.

"You missed the turn, mate," Killian grumbled out to Graham, their friend who was currently driving this little tour bus home, in a less than friendly manner because he was so anxious to get back home to Emma, but Graham only chuckled and shook his head.

"No I didn't. I promised the first stop we made would be getting you to Emma, and Emma isn't at home."

 _Why the bloody hell not?_ Killian thought to himself, wracking his brain as to what his girl could be doing out on a Saturday night.

Of course he knew that she was likely out with her best friends, but it didn't help ease that feeling in his chest that had been weighing on him since he left a year ago. Emma was such an alluring individual, such a miraculous woman, that Killian doubted she could go anywhere without some other man forming some design or other on her. And while Killian trusted his Swan implicitly, that didn't ease the growing impatience that made his dislike of waiting even moments before look tame.

"Don't worry, Cap. We're nearly there and then it'll all be over."

"Hardly," Killian muttered aloud, not bothering to elaborate what he meant to the others who might be confused.

Truth was it didn't matter to Killian if they followed. All that mattered was that tonight wasn't an ending in his eyes but a beginning for both him and Emma. True, his tour might have ended and the wait would finally conclude to have Emma back in his arms again, but that was thinking in too small a way for Killian. For tonight would be more than a reunion; it would be a redefining of everything he'd known before and a turn towards a life he wanted so much more than the one he had right now.

This was the point in their story where Killian and Emma would be taking the next step, one they'd been building for all the time they'd had together before he shipped off and then even when he was away with their letters and somewhat infrequent phone calls. He'd been ready even before his call to duty to devote himself and his life to her, but unfortunately his reality hadn't allowed that at that moment. Now, however, Killian was totally free, and he had everything he needed to make the perfect kind of world for his girl.

Killian's hand absently moved to his pocket in that moment, and he felt the tiny blue box that was in there even now. Within that holder was a ring that he'd been ready to give Emma even before he left, but he'd decided to hold onto until he could give her all of him. Killian wanted nothing left between them, but his job and his assignment had prevented him from that kind of freedom. Instead he'd had to bide his time and make it through the longest year of his life to get here to this moment.

Besides the ring, however, there was also something else, something he'd only gotten in his last shipment from his brother Liam. It was a key to the place that Killian and Emma had been dreaming of one day owning for so long. Finally it was his, and thanks to Liam and his wife (and Emma's friend) Elsa, it was livable and mostly ready to go. Killian knew Emma would no doubt make changes, but Killian hadn't wanted a single night to go by when that house wasn't ready for them. Emma had already promised that when he got home they'd be living together, now he just had to convince her that he'd found the perfect place and she should dive right into this with him without any more delay.

"And just like that the wait is over," Graham said cheerily as he pulled the car in front of a familiar local bar. Killian immediately looked out the window, almost not believing it was real, but his mind had no choice but to catch up with his body when he hopped out of the car before it was even fully in park. With swift, sure footing he was moving towards his Emma, and nothing and no one was going to get in his way.

Once inside the bar, Killian's instincts demanded he take in the whole place, searching every corner for Emma, and though it took longer than he wanted (which was to say it took half a minute), at last he spotted her looking bloody gorgeous in a red dress designed to drive a man to his knees.

"Emma," he whispered aloud to himself, his heart hammering in his chest at the fact that finally after so long a wait he was here with her again, but in the span of time that it took him to cross the bar before she saw him, Killian took in every part of her and wondered how she could look even better than he remembered.

Everything about her right now was alluring, from her golden hair that hung in loose curls down her back and around her shoulders, to that dress and those heels that made Killian want to simultaneously cover her up from undeserving eyes and strip her bare so he could see every last inch of her. She was the rawest form of intoxication, and with Emma in his sights there was no room for anything else. All he could see was his Swan, and all he could think was that he had to get to her.

Alas cutting across the room was a slower task than he wanted it to be, and then just when Killian was finding some relief, an anonymous stranger approached Emma, some man with an agenda Killian could see right through and was having no part of. In truth the only thing that kept him from putting his hands on the fellow was the look of disinterest in Emma's eyes, a disinterest that never waivered until her gaze cut across to where Killian was. Only then did her brightness and vivaciousness return in the most enticing way.

"Killian?" Emma asked, as if she couldn't believe he was real, and without words or explanation Killian took her into his arms, disregarding the man who'd been talking to her and pulling her in for a kiss that had been over a year in the making.

Immediately the sense that he'd finally found home descended on Killian and it shone through the love and the lust and every other good feeling he was grappling with now. This kiss was a miracle in so many ways, not the least of which was that he'd had more than a few near misses over seas and almost hadn't made it back to her. But now Killian was back where he truly belonged, and Emma was right here with him, meeting him in every back and forth that this blessed kiss provided.

"How are you here? How are you home?" Emma ended up asking between more kisses and Killian laughed, his hand coming up to push some of her hair away so he could see into those always expressive green eyes of hers.

"I'm here because I had to come back to you, Emma. You're all that matters. You're all that's ever mattered. There was no choice but to get back to you."

The smile on her face was quickly met with another kiss and Killian didn't give a damn that they were getting carried away right there out in the open. This was the closest he'd been to heaven since the day he'd left Emma's side and the both of them were entitled to this kind of reunion. Love like this was a rarity after all, and when it had the chance to grow and prosper even when the odds were stacked against it, that deserved true celebration.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming. Tell me I'm not going to wake up in a second missing you like I have every other night you've been away," Emma whispered, her hands continuing to clutch at his jacket, pulling him as close as he could get. Killian meanwhile loved her instincts to keep them connected, because it was all he'd ever wanted and everything he'd dreamed of while he was gone.

"This is real, love, we're real. I can promise you that."

Reaching out to cup her cheek, Killian felt his eyes tracing over every part of her face. He'd memorized every facet of Emma so long ago, but seeing her in the flesh again brought a joy unlike anything else ever could. Finally he was beginning to believe that that aching sadness could subside and he'd be in the light once more. If anyone had the power to give him that it was his Swan, his savior, and his love.

"You really came back to me," Emma said, that same level of awe and hope and immense emotion still vibrating through that beautiful voice of hers and Killian himself felt choked up at that fact.

"I did, Emma, and there's nothing that will ever take me away from you again."

That was true enough too, and though Killian didn't have the ability to put that into words right now and tell her about how he'd officially left the service, he knew that he would and that Emma would be happy for it. She had never said so explicitly, and Killian knew she would never force his hand with a choice between her and the life he'd known as a marine, but there really was no choice to make. He simply could not lead that life any longer, not when it meant missing so much precious time with the person who made his life worth living.

His promise of staying was enough to have Emma pulling him down again for another kiss, and this time was no different from the first few in that neither of them gave a damn about their surroundings. This might be a bar filled with people, strangers and friends alike, but everything else had already faded away for Emma and Killian. All that remained was them and the fact that after so long the wait was over. Finally they were together once more, and that meant there was no more need to deny what they both so clearly wanted.

The only problem was that intrusion would come eventually, especially given some of those friends who were in attendance tonight. Despite the bubble that surrounded Emma and Killian that made them feel untouchable, interruption did come in the form of some rowdy applause and whistles as well. That resulted in Emma pulling back and regrettably pulling her eyes from him, but Killian was comforted by the fact that she was still in his arms, and he even managed to smile when he looked across the way and saw David and Mary Margaret just as happily situated.

"Ruby and Belle knew about this, didn't they?" Emma asked then and Killian nodded when their eyes met again.

"It looks that way, love. They must have been in touch with Graham and the others somehow. I suppose I have them to thank for your chosen attire tonight."

"Mhmm," Emma conceded and then the light in her eyes returned and her voice gave way to a flirtatious tone designed by the heavens to have Killian reeling and wanting her even more. "What's the verdict?"

Killian brought Emma's hand up to hold in his at her question, and kissed her palm lightly, never letting his eyes stray from hers. It was a flirtatious move on his own part, but less playful than Emma's had been. This was a specific gesture designed to have Emma as needy and as desirous as he felt in her presence, and from the fire that infiltrated her gaze Killian knew he had her just where he wanted her.

"The _verdict_ , as you say, is I have maybe ten minutes to get you back home before I damn well lose my mind. You're a bloody siren, Swan, as I think you well know."

Emma's immediate smile told him that she was in full agreement, and when she took his hand in hers and led her out of the bar with the fanfare of the others around them, Killian couldn't help his own grin from forming. This was about to be a very good night indeed, quite possibly the best one he'd ever known actually, and he was ready for that more than he could say.

Once behind the wheel of Emma's pick up truck which she had driven out here tonight, Killian couldn't stop himself from stealing another kiss from Emma, and that kiss quickly grew frenzied, with roaming hands and a teetering on the edge of control from both of them. But the only thing that could keep Killian from pushing for more right then and there was the threat of an audience, and the fact that he'd pictured his coming home to Emma so many times, and he wanted it to be just so.

"You know I've never been a fan of patience when it comes to this thing between us, love, but I think a little bit is in order yet."

"Really think you can handle the wait?" Emma asked, blatantly flirting with him again as her hand remained on his chest, her fingers tracing lightly over the spot just above his heart.

"I'm nothing if not a survivor, Swan," he replied and the response he got from her was softer but just as sincere. She gave him one last gentle kiss before keeping hold on his hand as he drove them through the busy streets to where they needed to be, and only when they'd finally arrived at their destination did Emma question anything.

"Wait, I thought you said we were going home," Emma whispered as she took in the big white house with the white picket fence outside that Killian had rolled up to.

"We are, love. This is our home."

"You bought a house?!" Emma asked, totally shocked and Killian chuckled as he moved around the car and opened her door for her, leading her out into the mild night air.

"No love, I bought our _dream_ house. It has everything you wanted, which means it has all my heart desires too."

Emma looked back at the house once more at his words, and though Killian knew what she was seeing, with the spacious yard and the wrap around porch, and a swing for the two of them to sit in night after night together, Killian was more interested in keeping his eyes on Emma. Because at the end of the day his dream wasn't a place, it was a person, the one person in the world who had shown him that true love was possible and that it could transform one's life to something so much more than what it once was.

"You bought a house," Emma said again this time the clear joy and excitement on full display, and the next thing Killian knew she was jumping into his arms and pulling him down for another kiss that he had no intentions of shying away from.

"So you like it?" Killian asked when they came back up for air, honestly hoping that she would.

It was a risk after all to purchase a house without so much as asking her, but he'd always allowed instinct to guide him when it came to Emma, and at no point had his gut even been wrong when it came to this remarkable woman. He'd actually stumbled upon this home just a few days before leaving for his final tour, and he'd held onto it as another anchor that would one day get him home. If he could just make it out alive, he could have all of this with Emma, and now the time for that was finally here.

"I love it. But…" Emma trailed off before finishing her statement.

"But…?" Killian asked, his hand coming to cup her cheek and searching her gaze.

"But maybe we could save the grand tour for later. Right now I just need you."

How could a man say no to such a request? Killian for one did not know, and he had no intention of even entertaining the idea of turning her down because her wishes so perfectly lined up with his own.

"As you wish," Killian replied, surprising Emma by sweeping her up in his arms and walking through the front door that he hastily locked behind them.

Thanks to the blue prints of the place and the pictures that his brother Liam had sent Killian while he was overseas, Killian was already aware of how to get to the master bedroom, and he was nothing short of ecstatic that much of the furnishing for the house (even if it was temporary) was set up. It already felt like a home in most ways, and though it would need some more personal touches from him and Emma, Killian could feel how right his choice was. This was the kind of happy place where two people started a family and built a real life together, and if Killian had his way, he and Emma would be doing that very soon.

When they at last made it to their bedroom, Killian placed Emma on her feet once more but he didn't let the connection go between them. It was too painful a prospect to let her be away from him after all these long months of missing her, and Emma seemed to feel the same way as her body pressed against his and her hands held onto him without any indication that they'd ever try and stray.

"I can't believe you did all of this," Emma said, tears once more returning to her eyes as she took in their bedroom and Killian stepped towards her, wiping away the one that fell onto her cheek.

"There's nothing that I wouldn't do to see you happy, Swan. Nothing."

"I love you," Emma said, and from the way that his heart clutched in his chest, Killian realized this was the first time either of them had said that tonight. It had been an understanding between them for so long, but since their reunion it had been their actions more than their words that spoke to the special bond between them. "And all that I need to be happy is you."

"Well you have me, love. You have all of me. Have since the first moment I met you. And there wasn't a moment when I was away when I wasn't working to get back to you."

"Good," Emma said easily before pressing another kiss on his lips and then taking a step away from him.

With that Emma began unzipping her dress without any more preamble, and though her movements were sure and steady, Killian felt time freezing in its place. This was the best kind of torture, watching inch by creamy inch of her skin come into view, and when the garment was discarded and Emma was left standing there in barely more than a few scraps of lace and those heels she'd donned for the evening he was lost. He couldn't even manage to bite back his groan at the sight of her, and instead he reached out to touch her but she only shook her head and smiled before stepping to him, maintaining all of the control here.

"Not so fast, _Captain_. I went way too long without you and I know you're tricks. If I let you, you'll focus only on me all evening and I'll be too blissed out to appreciate my man the way I want to."

Killian swallowed harshly at Emma's words as she led him in stripping away his jacket and his shirt and then she moved to the button of his jeans. He knew Emma had a fiery personality and an unrivaled source of passion beneath all her walls and layers that she put out to the world, but with all cylinders firing at once like this Killian was lost to her. All he could do was abide by her wishes and take in the glorious feeling of her gaze and hands roaming over him in full.

"I hate to deny you in any way, love," Killian replied and Emma laughed, the heated chuckle rumbling through Killian's whole being in the most delicious way.

"Good thing you never do," Emma added but thankfully, as Killian discarded the remnants of his clothing, it was Emma's turn to lose her head a bit.

Killian watched the subtle signs of her attraction, from the flushed shade of pink that crept across her skin, to the darkening of those beautiful emerald eyes as she stared at him. Having Emma's attention this way brought with it the same satisfaction that came every time they'd been together in the past, and though it felt in many ways like it had been ages since they'd been here, this was a familiar dance to them both. There was nothing but natural instincts guiding the two of them tonight, and as they made it to the bed, with hands roaming and heated kisses demanding more and more, Killian felt close to going out of his bloody mind all together.

"I won't last that way, Swan," Killian said when Emma's hand came to hold his hard length and torture him just a bit too much for sanity to remain in tact.

"I think you're stronger than you know," Emma tossed back and Killian groaned, knowing that might be true but his patience was already frayed down to the very end. He was liable to combust at any second after so long a time apart, and so he had to take the upper hand again, turning the tables and using a bit of flirtation of his own to distract Emma.

His kisses trailed from her mouth down her jaw to her neck, and he reveled in every shiver that he pulled from her body and every sigh or groan that came thereafter. With a slow perusal he'd envisioned night after night while he was away, Killian made a map of her unparalleled figure, and reemerged himself in all things Emma as his kisses moved lower to her collar and finally towards her breasts. Once there Killian had the distinct pleasure of removing the lacy red bra that had continued to separate them for too damn long before he moved to pleasure her with his mouth and hands alike.

" _Killian_."

Just his name said that way in a whisper that spoke to praise and need and lust and love was enough to rev Killian up all the more, but he withstood that temptation to just take what he wanted hard and fast. There would be plenty of time for that in the forever he had imagined for them, but right now he wanted to remind both of them just how much they'd needed and missed this, and how nothing could ever feel as perfect as the two of them becoming one.

One of Killian's hands trailed lower until they were at the seam of the last piece of fabric that separated the two of them. He could feel through the lace that Emma was aching and ready for him, and he didn't want to make her wait any longer for relief, slipping his fingers past the barrier and into her waiting sex just as Emma's breath caught on a gasp. It was the best damn sound he'd heard in ages, but it didn't compare to the murmured whispers of his name or her love for him that came when he made contact with her clit and sent her tumbling over the edge in a hard, bracing climax.

With Emma lost to those sensations, Killian moved slowly further down her body, ready and eager to taste that bliss she'd just found, but this time he stripped her bare first before finding that perfect, meticulous rhythm to set Emma on fire all over again. His tongued swiped her sex slowly at first and immediately Emma's hands came to run through his hair and angle him closer to what she desperately craved. The action made something primitive in Killian click into place because he loved Emma lacking any kind of control and letting her baser urges guide her. There was no stronger aphrodisiac than knowing that he could give Emma everything she wanted, and having her so wrapped up in pleasure gave Killian the hope that she'd never want to leave him and that they could actually have this for the rest of their lives.

Uninterested in rushing when they had all the time in the world, Killian recalled every movement and motion that Emma had loved in the past and utilized them now to coil up her desire in a tight spring that would release at a perfect moment that he ordained. He knew he was on the right track too thanks to her vocal indications, but he wouldn't need them either way. In moments like this it was just so clear that the two of them shared a deeply founded understanding, and what they had surpassed simple concepts of love and connection. It was greater than that, and all the sweeter to have found.

"Killian, _please_. It's too much," Emma said at one point, and only then did Killian realize that his worshipping of her body might be slightly overwhelming.

With a year's worth of attentions to give her Killian was famished for the chance to pleasure Emma as she deserved, but on the other hand they had all night and he wanted his Emma ready and willing that whole time. Steadily his attentions went from one of slow exploration to heated licks and forceful flicks. Then when he felt her starting to tense underneath him, Killian pressed a finger into her as his mouth focused on her bundle of nerves and she catapulted over the edge.

"Nothing in the world compares to watching you fall apart," Killian swore to Emma as he kissed his way back up her body, but he stood corrected when he saw her face through the haze of all her pleasure, because that smile and all the other ones she'd ever offered him were better than anything he'd ever known. The image of that happy expression was the thing that he held on to while he was away, and in truth, Killian had to believe it was what got him home to her where he was always meant to be.

"I can think of one thing," Emma said with a sense of mirth returning to her eyes, indicating to Killian that his Swan had a plan just a second before she flipped their positions and came to rise above him, her golden hair falling in a curtain around her and her skin glowing from the pale light he'd turned on earlier. In a word she was stunning, but honestly a single word could never do a woman like Emma justice.

"And what's that?" Killian asked, his voice taut with his climbing need as Emma's hands roamed along his chest and lower and she surveyed him like he was some sort of kingdom to be conquered.

"When we find that perfect place together," Emma whispered sweetly, but just as his heart was skipping from her intimate words, her actions sent it hammering into overdrive. In one swift move she'd taken him to the hilt and all of his hard fought control was eroding at a rapidly inclining pace.

"Alright you win. I was wrong, this is better," Killian practically growled out, and when Emma laughed at his easy acquiescence he felt it to his core, making him moan aloud again.

Undoubtedly everything about Emma was designed to have him spiraling to a place he'd never known without her, but he'd be damned if he fell apart without her right there with him, so he flipped her back beneath him so she laid against the bed, watching the look of surprise but also approval that coalesced in her eyes when he did. Part of him expected some of her temper to flare to the surface or her endearing sense of stubbornness to rear its head, but instead she just reached for him, giving into this and trusting that he'd get them both where he wanted them to go. It was that trust that proved to be the last straw and it sent Killian chasing completion for both of them that they both found rather swiftly.

After their mutual release Killian and Emma both struggled to catch their ragged breaths, but when the quiet came back in again and the only sounds around them were their heartbeats and the chirp of familiar crickets outside that Killian hadn't heard in all his time away, Killian found himself still needing more. Yes, he had everything when he held this woman in his arms, but to be truly settled in his heart of hearts, Killian wanted to procure one more thing from her, a solid promise that they could have the kind of forever that he wanted. He knew, however, that now wasn't really the time. He should make it more romantic than this and gift Emma with a memory to cherish forever, but he couldn't bear the thought of waiting, and Killian was just about to be selfish and ask for that chance now when Emma beat him to the punch.

"Marry me," she whispered as her hand ran over his chest and the plea was so soft Killian almost didn't know if he had actually heard it. For all he knew this could just be a fantasy from his own over eager mind come to play tricks on him.

"What was that love?" he asked, his voice coming out rougher than it had before but then Emma looked up at him and smiled, lighting up his whole world and being with one single look.

"Marry me, Killian Jones. I know it's sudden but -,"

Before Emma could finish that thought Killian kissed her senseless hoping that she would take this as both a yes but also a plea for just a little time. When he pulled back she looked a little dazed, and then confusion set in when he moved from their bed to retrieve his jacket, but when he pulled out the box that he'd been carrying for so long, her smile returned again, as did more of those happy tears that got him every damn time.

"Technically you haven't asked a question yet, love, so let me. There is nothing in the world that would make me happier than belonging to you, Emma. My place is by your side, and my heart has been yours for what feels like forever. It's for that reason that when I was at base I put in my resignation with the corps."

"You did?!" Emma asked, clearly shocked but also sounding oh so hopeful.

"Aye, love. Once upon a time that way of living might have been enough, but then I met you and I realized that the most precious of treasures was right here at home all along. You, Emma, are the answer to everything, and I want that life we wrote about in all our letters while we were separated. This house is just the start; it's only a begging love, a beginning of what I'm damn well sure will be a gloriously happy life. So with that in mind… Emma Swan will you marry me?"

"Yes!"

And with that sweet melodic answer said between them Killian moved back to Emma again, and once the ring was slipped on her finger and their loving agreement had been reached, Emma and Killian spent the rest of the night celebrating all the good things they'd found in each other. And in the end all of their hopes were not only met, but exceeded. For they found together the happiest of endings, and a story truly worthy of a love as rare as theirs.

…..

 _Flame,_

 _Girl you light it up_

 _When I hear you say my name_

 _Yeah, you know just_

 _How to start it_

 _You shine_

 _And I just can't wait_

 _To get you out tonight_

 _Yeah, you know_

 _How bad I want it_

 _Ride this Chevy like a Cadillac_

 _With that one stop light_

 _No lookin' back_

 _Wherever we're going_

 _Gotta get there fast_

 _I'm talking red hot, red kiss_

 _Falling off your lips_

 _I'm talking red hot, red dress_

 _Hanging on your hips_

 _I'm talking backseat heartbeat_

 _Pounding in my chest_

 _I'm seein' red (I'm seein' red)_

 _I'm seein' red (I'm seein' red)_

 _Can't get you outta my head, girl_

 _Can't get you outta my head_

 _The way you color up my world_

 _I'm seein' red_

 _Damn, we can get that some place_

 _Just outside of town_

 _I'll bring the bottle if you wanna_

 _That moon, that moon ain't gonna_

 _Tell on me and you_

 _Just say the word and we're gonna_

 _Ride this Chevy like a Cadillac_

 _With that one stop light_

 _No lookin' back_

 _Wherever we're going_

 _Gotta get there fast_

 _I'm talking red hot, red kiss_

 _Falling off your lips_

 _I'm talking red hot, red dress_

 _Hanging on your hips_

 _I'm talking backseat heartbeat_

 _Pounding in my chest_

 _I'm seein' red (I'm seein' red)_

 _I'm seein' red (I'm seein' red)_

 _Can't get you outta my head, girl_

 _Can't get you outta my head_

 _The way you color up my world_

 _I'm seein' red_

 _No, I can't get you outta my head, girl_

 _Can't get you outta my head_

 _I'm talking red hot, red kiss_

 _Falling off your lips_

 _I'm talking red hot, red dress_

 _Hanging on your hips_

 _I'm talking backseat heartbeat_

 _Pounding in my chest_

 _I'm seein' red (woah, oh, oh, oh)_

 _I'm seein' red (I'm seein' red)_

 _Can't get you outta my head, girl_

 _Can't get you outta my head_

 _The way you color up my world_

 _I'm seein' red_

 _I'm seein' red_

 _I'm seein' red red red red red red red red red_

 _ **Post-Note: So my lovely reader who requested this song never gave me an explicit prompt for this, they just gave me the song, but I have to thank them for that because I had never heard it and as soon as I did and read the lyrics I had this idea for a trope/AU I have never gotten the chance to really write before. That is such an awesome feeling after more than 150 chapters, so I thank you for that. I also hope that the rest of you guys enjoyed, and I thank you all for all of your support along this journey. It's been so fun and remains a bright spot in my writing life that I am very grateful for. When I started this collection I never imagined it would find this much footing with people, but I love it and I plan to keep it going as long as I can. Anyway hope you all have a great rest of your day and thank you all for reading!**_


	155. One Call Away

_**A/N: Future CS drabble where Killian gets a call from his and Emma's daughter Hope telling him he needs to come right home. He's worried about his daughter and about Emma who is supposed to be home with their little one, but when he gets home there's no actual emergency and it devolves into some much needed CS family cuteness. Inspired by a reader request for the song 'One Call Away' by Charlie Puth.**_

"You know for a pirate, you're actually not a terrible driver."

David's words of semi-praise as Killian and he exited the squad car after their morning rounds were humorous to Killian even as he rolled his eyes. This was a long running joke on David's part that had been going on since right around the time that Killian and Emma got married, in which David assessed Killian's ability to do anything and everything based on his past occupation in life.

"Because shepherds and princes have so much experience with these things," Killian replied and David laughed at the witty retort.

"Touché. I guess I really only know because my cursed self did. You, on the other hand, had to actually learn."

And wasn't that the truth? Killian still looked back on those moments with mixed emotions, because on the one hand it had been damn tedious to learn how to captain these vessels, especially in that tiny bug of Emma's. But on the other hand he had all that extra time with his Swan, and she'd been very generous and creative in the reward system she made to motivate him to do well. She was so good, in fact, that Killian earned his license in record time, and now every time he got behind the wheel of one of these automobiles, he had those fond memories to reflect on.

"Is that a real compliment, mate?" Killian asked as they strolled into the station and David slapped his hand upon Killian's shoulder good-naturedly.

"It is, and I think you've earned it seeing as how you put that last complaint to bed so quickly."

Killian groaned aloud thinking back to today's one actual encounter with the Storybrooke populace. It was, unsurprisingly, an incident having to do with the dwarves, and where both David and Emma had a bit more patience with these matters normally, Killian did not. He knew better than to entertain the dramatics that flared up between that group of busybodies and luckily none of them, not even Grumpy, ever questioned the badge he'd taken on after the Black Fairy's curse was lifted. Instead they grumbled about his being so abrupt, but they settled down enough again to rectify the noise complaint that Granny had been forced to file after their antics.

"I think we need a new system," Killian said as they moved into the precinct once more and he hung up his jacket and grabbed his share of lunch from David before moving to his desk. "Each of them can have one infraction a week or it's a stint in a cell for the lot of them. Otherwise they get themselves all worked up over and over again and we've got more work because of it."

"You might be onto something there," David admitted as he sat down across the way with his own food. "But all things considered, I'll take dwarf wrangling to facing actual villains any day."

"Hear, hear," Killian agreed as he toasted with his cup (which thanks to his being on duty and his wife's loving insistence, was not filled with rum as he might have preferred, but with water) and dug into his meal.

Yet as Killian sat there with David in companionable silence, it wasn't work or villains that were on his mind, but his Emma and their daughter Hope who were waiting for him at home. Since he was working today Emma was at the house with their little princess, who would be turning four in a few weeks time, and Killian was anxious to get back to them. Nothing ever felt as right as when he was with his family, and work was all the more tiresome when Killian knew he could be there treasuring these sacred moments with the two most important people in his life instead.

In the meantime though, Killian did have some small comfort in the form of their many pictures framed on his desk. It was impossible to see them all and not smile, and today his gaze cast to his favorite one and he remembered the moment when that shot had been captured. It was an image of the three of them and Henry all aboard the Jolly Roger, with Hope up on Killian's shoulders making a precociously silly face and Emma in his arms smiling right for the camera as Henry did the same on his other side. Killian meanwhile had been caught looking at Emma in the same way he so often did, like she hung the moon and stars, because in his world she did. Everything good in his life that he had was thanks to this woman, and there was never a day that went by where Killian didn't feel that right down to his soul.

Suddenly the familiar _chirp_ of his phone went off, and Killian saw that it was Emma's number flashing on the screen before he answered it. The fact that it was his wife who was calling made the whole idea of having to use this bloody contraption far more bearable, and he was hoping for some good news that perhaps she and Hope would visit this afternoon and end the long hours of separation he had dealt with for this shift.

"Couldn't last a whole day without me, could you love?" Killian joked as a way of answering, but where he expected to hear Emma's equally teasing voice floating back through the speaker, he heard his daughter's instead sounding animated and adamant.

" _Daddy you have to come home right away!"_

"Hope? What is it? What's happened?" Killian asked, feeling immediately on edge and rising to his feet, sending a look to David who also appeared incredibly concerned. Without any words exchanged, David just gave Killian a nod and Killian grabbed his jacket and threw it back on as he raced out the door before Hope elaborated.

" _We need you here right now!"_ Hope said, this time just as enthusiastically, and Killian was at a loss for what to do. His natural response was to run, figuring he'd get home sooner at a full sprint then he would getting in the truck and driving back. But while he planned to keep Hope on the phone with him to get more information, she only added that she loved him and then the line went dead.

The rush of cold and pounding dread that coursed through Killian in that instant was severe, and he didn't bother to try and call Emma's phone back. Hope would likely not know how to answer, and it would just take time from getting to them. Instead he moved as fast as he could, making it back to their house in record time and running up the stairs at a loss for breath but ready to face whatever situation awaited him.

"Swan?!" Killian called out into the house, worried that something would be amiss, but then in a white _poof_ of her own true-love induced magic, Hope appeared with Emma right on her tail.

Seeing that the two of them were in fact alright was incredibly reassuring, but while Killian's mind might be able to process their being safe, his body was still running on that adrenaline that fear had instilled only minutes ago. His hand and hook shook from the force of the exertion of running here and from the lingering sense of terror he'd been suffering from. But just the sight of his daughter bounding towards him with her chestnut brown curls bouncing and her blue eyes filled with happiness at his arrival was enough to steady him somewhat.

"Daddy you made it! We've been waiting forever," Hope said with a mix of childish cheer and a bit of chastisement all at once as she hugged his legs tight.

"Forever?" Killian asked, still not following as he squatted down to get to eye level with his little princess. "You just called me, lass, and I ran all the way here from the station. Not all of us have magical powers you know."

At the reminder Hope actually looked sad for him and for her part in worrying him and she patted him on the shoulder sweetly before giving him a kiss on the cheek. Though he was damn near losing his mind just a moment before, Killian found some substantial comfort in that warm embrace from his daughter, and it was heightened all the more when he looked over her shoulder to her mother who had an apologetic smile of her own waiting for Killian.

"Hope just told me that she cracked the password on my phone. Guess who her first call was?"

Ah, that made a bit more sense and now that he wasn't worried that Emma or Hope was in trouble he could see the humor in that. At almost four, Hope was a fast learner, and she'd taken to mechanisms in this world in a vastly superior way to him. Truth be told Killian still had an aversion to the phone and it had been years since he'd first been given one, which had made the call he just got all the more alarming.

"It was you Daddy!" Hope said happily. "I called to invite you to our tea party."

If someone had told Killian Jones even a dew years ago that he would not only be willingly attending an affair of this sort, but that he'd actually be happy in the face of such a chance, he'd have called them a fool. Then he'd have called them a half a dozen other things that were hardly appropriate for little ears. But now he was a different man entirely, a man who loved his wife and child more than anything, and who knew that a person only had so many moments and so much precious time with the people they loved in this life. He'd been blessed enough to find his happy ending, and if it happened to include tea parties with his two girls then so be it.

"I'm honored, lass. I should just call your grandfather and let him know I have urgent celebratory business to attend to."

Hope giggled at his ways of describing things, and Killian knew it was because she largely didn't understand him. He'd tried to bring his language down to her level ever since she was born, but then he reasoned she was such a smart lass she'd pick up on it soon enough. Besides, his joke landed well with his wife who let out a sweet sound of laughter that filled Killian's chest with warmth as she came over and bestowed her own kiss on his lips and took his hand in hers.

"I just called Dad when Hope told me what happened. He says there's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow and he'll radio if anything else comes up."

"Well thank the Gods for that," Killian muttered and Emma ran her hand against his chest in a soothing gesture.

"She got you good didn't she?" Emma asked and Killian nodded, his eyes tracing back over their little girl as she led them back to the living room and then moving to Emma as he reminded himself all over again that they were actually safe.

"Aye. I know things have been peaceful since well before she was born, but…"

"But it'll always be our job to protect her no matter what," Emma said and Killian nodded, loving even after all these years that the two of them were bound together like this. They were a team, had been almost since the start, and though parenting was in many ways an adventure he hadn't been ready for, it was the best one he'd even been privy to save perhaps the adventure of being Emma's husband.

"It's my job to protect _both_ of you, Emma, and I have every intention of doing it for the rest of our lives."

Emma's eyes lit up at the promise and the brightness of her smile infiltrated those jade colored pools in a way that made her even more beautiful. In truth she was a vision, and Killian just stood there knowing that he was the luckiest man in all the realms because he truly had everything he'd ever wanted.

"Daddy always comes when we need him, doesn't he Mommy?" Hope asked then as they sat down at the little table Killian and Henry had crafted together for Hope some time ago, and Emma smiled at Killian before replying.

"Yes he does, honey. And it's safe to say that he always will."

"Aye. I'm only one call away, love, whenever you need me. But maybe next time you can tell me _why_ you need me too, alright?"

"But what if it's a surprise?" Hope asked, genuinely curious and clearly not following how much she'd alarmed Killian, but her clear desire to understand made both Emma and Killian laugh as he pulled Hope in to press a kiss to the crown of her head.

"Then you tell me it's a surprise and I'll follow you wherever you lead, lass."

"Okay it's a deal," Hope agreed, and with that the tea party commenced and Killian and Emma enjoyed the rest of their day with their rambunctious daughter, soaking up the everyday normalcy of their glorious happily ever after.

…..

 _I'm only one call away_

 _I'll be there to save the day_

 _Superman's got nothing on me_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _Call me, baby, if you need a friend_

 _I just wanna give you love_

 _Come on, come on, come on_

 _Reaching out to you, so take a chance_

 _No matter where you go_

 _You know you're not alone_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _I'll be there to save the day_

 _Superman got nothing on me_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _Come along with me and don't be scared_

 _I just wanna set you free_

 _Come on, come on, come on_

 _You and me can make it anywhere_

 _For now, we can stay here for a while, ay_

 _'Cause you know, I just wanna see you smile_

 _No matter where you go_

 _You know you're not alone_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _I'll be there to save the day_

 _Superman got nothing on me_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _And when you're weak I'll be strong_

 _I'm gonna keep holding on_

 _Now don't you worry, it won't be long, Darling_

 _And when you feel like hope is gone_

 _Just run into my arms_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _I'll be there to save the day_

 _Superman got nothing on me_

 _I'm only one, I'm only one call away_

 _I'll be there to save the day_

 _Superman got nothing on me_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _I'm only one call away_

 _ **Post-Note: So this request came a long long time ago, and there were so many possible ways to take it, but given recent events I wanted to make it a future CS snapshot, and once I had that in mind, the rest came naturally. Thank you very much to my lovely reader who was so patient with this song request, and to all of you who have been equally patient. I hope you all enjoyed and that you're weeks are going okay all things considered.**_


	156. Bubbly

_**A/N: So for this first Sunday without Once I decided that what I needed most in the world was a little extension of the happy beginning they set up for CS. It takes place the morning after Emma and the others break the curse (so kind of post 6x22 I guess). Inspired by a reader request for the song 'Bubbly' by Colbie Caillat and rated M because I never got my freaking CS smut! (Can you tell I'm bitter? I'll try to be better about it but no promises). Anyway hope you guys enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

Waking up enveloped in warmth and knowing without a doubt that she was safe, Emma opened her eyes the morning after what could have been her end of days with a smile already playing at her lips.

This, right here, was _exactly_ the kind of life she'd been fighting for all these years and the fact that she was getting this chance to actually enjoy what it meant to be married to Killian (after being so rudely interrupted by the Black Fairy) and to get a happily ever after was intoxicating. It stirred up feelings inside of Emma that bubbled from the tips of her toes all the way through her, and the songs of yesterday that she'd found in her heart still lingered in a way, leaving nothing but this happy coursing sense of rightness that lit up her whole being.

 _I can't believe we're really married,_ Emma thought to herself as her smile grew, her eyes casting down to where her hand rested on Killian's chest, seeing the wedding band that had joined her engagement ring at that beautiful ceremony they had together. Her mind replayed every beat of it all, tripping over Killian's vows as well as her own and finding that there wasn't a single part she regretted. It had all been perfect, at least until the Black Fairy came to mess it all up.

Even then though, it had only been a matter of time before good won out over evil, and despite being separated by realms and curse inflicted memory loss again, Emma and Killian had found each other once more, proving that their love truly would conquer all. Hope might have taken a hit under the Black Fairy's curse, but it hadn't truly died. There had still been a spark inside Emma's heart stoked by Henry and by those images she'd remembered of Killian back there on the rooftop, and though no one had felt the need to break down exactly how their victory came about after all was said and done, Emma knew she wouldn't have made it through without them and without the rest of her family who was always fighting to give her her best chance.

Yet through everything that the aftermath of victory had brought forth, from the dinner, to the celebrations, to the feelings of real belonging Emma shared with all their family and friends, it was the coming home at the end of it all that filled her with the most joy. Walking hand in hand with her husband back to their house from Granny's, Emma had known in her heart for the first time in her life that the darkness was really behind her. The biggest trial of her life had been overcome, her destiny triumphed over, and the world righted, but that only meant that her life could truly start. Last night had marked the beginning of all the good that Emma and Killian had been promised for so long, and so far it had definitely lived up to the hype.

" _Just think, Swan, of all the memories we might make here now that there are no villains banging down our doors or curses emanating from darkness itself,"_ Killian had said as he locked the door behind them once they got inside. Then he waved an extra key at her which confused Emma some until he clarified. _"I also swiped this from your mother at dinner, so there will be no interruptions tomorrow of any kind, magical or otherwise. I learned my lesson on that front, and I've no intentions of a repeat performance."_

Emma had of course laughed at that before wrapping her arms around his neck and running her fingers through Killian's hair lovingly. It was all so surreal that they should be here and actually doing this, but nothing had ever felt more right, and Emma knew without any kind of doubt or uncertainty that she was ready for this. She was ready for all of it, and she wanted to set down that path to happy endings with Killian right then and there.

" _So why wait?"_ she'd asked eagerly. _"We should start making those memories now… unless you think you couldn't handle it."_

That jest and call back to earlier times in their journey towards love was received by her husband in exactly the way that Emma expected, and the next thing she knew he was mumbling about his love of a challenge and she was being taken by the man she'd given her heart to long ago in so many different corners of the house it was hard to keep track. The one thing Emma did recall vividly, however, was that she loved every damn second of it almost as much as she loved Killian himself. Because even if it had taken them a little longer than most people to get there, Emma and Killian's wedding night was an exact reflection of the two of them, a heady mix of passion, love, lust, and comfort.

Truth be told that awe inspiring combination of feelings and emotions would have scared Emma to death not so long ago, but now it was the part of all of this that Emma clung to the most. For it was those happy sort of energies bouncing around inside of her that made her feel light as air and warmed all the way through, reminding her that she was alive and that she'd really done it. She had faced her fate as savior head on and come out on top, and now she was freed from the constraints of that role in the most liberating way.

Emma could feel the difference already too, not just in her state of mind and more relaxed outlook on the world around them, but physically as well. Her white magic danced close to the surface, humming through her system and almost singing out a sweet melody of its own, and Emma didn't dare tamp it down, because she knew what it meant. She could only ever feel this way when she was totally and completely at peace, and now was the time to choose happiness and to follow it wherever it led, not doubt it and pass up such an incredible opportunity.

"It's not very often we find ourselves in this situation, Swan," Killian murmured suddenly, pulling Emma from her thoughts with his words. She'd been watching him for a while now, completely unaware he was awake, but then his eyes opened and Emma watched as a grin of his own formed and she knew he'd been aware of her for a while. She should have expected that, and yet with Killian she still found herself amazed at just how in tune they were with each other.

"You mean married _and_ actually alone for once?" Emma teased and Killian growled out a sound of approval at the mention of their being married, pulling Emma closer and dropping a kiss to her neck as he did that caused Emma to shiver ever so slightly with a heightened thrill of pleasure.

"Well there is that, yes, but I was speaking of you rising before I do."

Emma chuckled at the mention of their typical routine knowing he was right. Usually he was the early riser in this family and since they'd moved in together Emma couldn't remember a time when Killian wasn't awake before her. But Emma reasoned that perhaps Killian slept in today because the worst of the threats they might face were behind them. After all, he'd been protecting her for so long, guarding her from any kind of hurt that he could, and that had to be exhausting work even though he'd never once complained.

"What can I say? Sleep just doesn't compare to the alternative."

As she said the words, Emma's fingertips came up to brush against Killian's jaw, hitting that spot where beard met flesh. She could feel the fact that he hadn't shaved the past few days and she loved that rough scratch just a little too much. It actually almost made her blush to think about how much she loved it and all the times it had come into play last night as he was making love to her every which way that he could. But then her eyes moved back up to Killian's and she could see in them so much emotion that it blew her away. He was so open with his regard for her and his appreciation of her honesty was so clear, but there was more there too, something just a little darker and promising that the more sensual activities of last night were far from over.

"While I'm happy to hear that, my love, your being awake leads me to believe I didn't entirely fulfill my husbandly duties as I should have last night. You _should_ be so exhausted you've no choice but to sleep in."

That avid proclamation had Emma's legs tightening together as she felt the impact down to her core. His promise was heated and designed to make her want more in an instant, but it didn't do justice to what Killian could bring her in terms of pleasure. It was barely a hint of his power over her, and Emma, feeling greedy for one of the first times in her life, wanted everything right now without interruption or delay.

"Oh you fulfilled them alright," Emma said, her voice growing taught as Killian's hand traced her body and his kisses fluctuated from rough to gentle and everything in between. "But it wouldn't hurt to do it all over again. I mean we have all this spare time it would be a shame to waste it…"

Killian immediately concurred with Emma's thoughts on the matter, and in seconds he switched their positions to come over her. Then he set out to torture her with undiluted passion the likes of which could only ever come from true love and insane levels of chemistry. He waivered in the most frustratingly exhilarating way between fast and slow, rough and tenderly sweet as his hand and mouth traced out a map along the curves and slopes of her body.

There were spots on her bared skin that Emma saw he had marked last night, and he went over all of them, branding her again and again and in new places too, and each little spot he satisfied brought a rush of more lust and need and desire coursing through Emma until she was too wound up to see straight. All she could do was close her eyes and hold on for dear life as he moved from her breasts down lower and lower until he was right where she wanted and needed him most.

But just when Emma thought that she'd get that push from her husband into the euphoria his meticulous attentions promised, he would pull back, teasing her desire and stroking the fire within her right to the edge only to not finish her off. It was maddening, but it was also so damn promising too, because Emma knew that when he did finally let her come apart it would be just as earth shatteringly fantastic as all of last night had been.

"Killian, you're killing me here," Emma said finally, feeling the reverberation of his chuckle at her sex and groaning when she did. Damn him for being so infuriatingly sexy and commanding! Who was he to leave her a quivering mess like this only to not follow through?

 _He's my husband,_ Emma thought to herself, and the word attached to Killian only made her hotter, setting that tight coil of need low in her gut even tenser than it had been. She felt like she was ready to combust, but Killian had other plans, pulling back to respond to her accusations.

"You said it yourself, Emma. We've all this time, I'm merely making the most of it."

Emma wanted to reply that making the most of it would actually mean making her come over and over again, but she didn't need bother, because at that moment, Killian returned to her sex, sending her over with just the right pressure at her clit and making her see stars. Then he brought her back up and over two more times before Emma eventually pleaded for mercy and essentially begged him to come with her this time instead of just teasing her this way.

When he caved to her wishes, easing away from her still tender flesh before working his way back up her body, Emma could sense in Killian an ever increasing store of need on his part too. His muscles were taut, his jaw set firmly, and his eyes were almost wild, but still he touched her with a gentleness and a care that spoke to a love so pure it was truly remarkable. Even in moments like this, even in the throws of passion and without any kind of walls between them, Killian was still this selfless man who put her above all else.

It was totally unbelievable, and yet this was her life. After years of searching Emma had really found someone to love who loved her more than anything, and somehow, through some kind of beautiful, life affirming magic, she'd managed to marry him and commit herself to a life of love and happiness with him forever. Now she just needed to find a way to say that, and to tell him how much he made her feel and how grateful she was to have found him and been found by him. The only problem was her dashing pirate broke their temporary quiet first.

"I thought for sure that as I watched you walking down the aisle to me I had never seen a sight more spectacular, love. You in your white dress, choosing me, looking just as thrilled at the prospect of forever as I felt… it was perfection. _You_ were perfection in every way imaginable."

"And now…?" Emma asked through the thickness of her emotion, sensing that he had some impossibly sweet compliment that he totally meant to bestow on her. He smiled at her clearly overwhelmed demeanor and then brushed her hair away from her face, confessing his feelings in full.

"Now I know I wasn't quite right in that. Our wedding will forever be one of the single best moments of my life, but this one, and all the ones we've yet to find… they'll each be just as brilliant because it'll be you and me, Emma. There's nothing that will come between us. Nothing and no one will take this away from us again."

"I love you Killian Jones," Emma whispered, running her hands across his skin as her eyes never strayed from him, hoping he could see just how much she meant it.

"And I love you, Emma _Jones_. For now and always."

With nothing more to say for the moment, but so much more to feel and share and revel in, Emma arched against him, moaning out in bliss as Killian filled her completely, setting a rhythm that was at once familiar and totally new. Because even if they'd known for so long that what they had was special, the world just felt so much brighter and filled with possibility now that they'd vowed to have and to hold each other all the rest of their days.

Every touch, every kiss, every inch of contact between them was a whole new world to explore and to love and though Emma knew hard times would come again, they weren't anywhere near her heart or mind today. Instead there was only light and love and the unbeatable comfort of knowing that she had _finally_ found her place in the world where she didn't just have a family, and a husband, and a house to call home, but a sense of herself and who she was to match it all. Finally Emma truly knew who she was and what she wanted, and she had the power to set her own fate and chase all the dreams she dared to imagine with the man she'd love all the days of her life.

Of course with all those feelings bubbling between them and with that blissfully transcendent chemistry that was unique only to true love, Emma and Killian both found completion in only a matter of time, and when they came together it was nothing short of magic. But maybe the best part of all of it was knowing that this happy beginning was so far from over. The two of them had years and years to feel this way, and if Emma had anything to say about it, they'd have a whole life to lead together that would be even better than any fairytale that had come before.

…..

 _Will you count me in?_

 _I've been awake for a while now_

 _You've got me feelin' like a child now_

 _'Cause every time I see your bubbly face_

 _I get the tingles in a silly place_

 _It starts in my toes, and I crinkle my nose_

 _Where ever it goes I always know_

 _That you make me smile, please, stay for a while now_

 _Just take your time wherever you go_

 _The rain is fallin' on my window pane_

 _But we are hidin' in a safer place_

 _Under covers stayin' dry and warm_

 _You give me feelings that I adore_

 _It starts in my toes, make me crinkle my nose_

 _Wherever it goes I always know_

 _That you make me smile, please, stay for a while now_

 _Just take your time wherever you go_

 _But what am I gonna say?_

 _When you make me feel this way_

 _I just, mmm_

 _And it starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose_

 _Wherever it goes I always know_

 _That you make me smile, please, stay for a while now_

 _Just take your time wherever you go_

 _I've been asleep for a while now_

 _You tucked me in just like a child now_

 _'Cause every time you hold me in your arms_

 _I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth_

 _It starts in my soul, and I lose all control_

 _When you kiss my nose, the feelin' shows_

 _'Cause you make me smile, baby, just take your time now_

 _Holdin' me tight_

 _Wherever, wherever, wherever you go_

 _Wherever, wherever, wherever you go_

 _Wherever you go I always know_

 _'Cause you make me smile, even just for a while_

 _ **Post-Note: Just a little bit of CS smuff to round out my weekend (because why not?) and one of my favorite songs to go with it (thank you very much my lovely reader for suggesting it!). We are a week post season 6 and I still have so many feelings, ones I am sure will go unresolved for quite some time. But the natural instinct for me is to take what the writers gave us and run with it, so you can all expect a fair many upcoming fics from me in this series where we get glimpses into the future for Emma and Killian. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoyed and thank you all so much for reading!**_


	157. All I Want

_**A/N: This is a reader request for 'All I Want' by Kodaline from Emma's POV. I have taken this and decided to rewrite the end of 6x14 so Killian actually manages to get back to Emma and gets to apologize without any interference from Gideon. Obviously this would completely change the trajectory of the show, but hell if I care. I HATED that extended angst, and I am shamelessly fixing it far sooner than the show did. That being said there are still so many feels in this, but it will end happily I promise. Anyway, hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

"He'll come back," Emma whispered to herself as she stared out the window of the house that was supposed to be her home. "He has to come back."

But even as she said the words, doubts were trickling in for Emma and after days of feeling like she had finally found relief in a sea of chaos and savior-induced madness, she was numb now to a pain so much worse than the threat of Gideon or any other evil out there. Killian had left. He'd walked out that door after she had retreated upstairs from the worst fight they'd ever had and Emma was gutted, or at least she would be if she could feel anything more than this torturous plague of gray and sadness.

The anxiety of the moment when they'd fought had bled away now all these hours later, leaving only the after effects and a tumult of feelings that were swirling throughout her system like a hazy sort of smog. Her hands shook from his loss and the fear that he might really be gone for good was still there, and yet physically Emma couldn't cave to it all, at least not fully. For right now there was still a little flame of hope. Killian could come back to her and make this right. She had to believe that. After everything she couldn't just give up on him, not when he was the one person she'd ever loved like this and the one person who had never given up on her.

 _If only I hadn't given back that ring,_ Emma thought to herself, her heart clutching tightly in her chest at the memory. _Why did I have to give him back the ring?_

She'd done that in anger and in terror as well because she was petrified, not of Killian's past actions, but of his inability to trust her. Emma had thought they were doing so well, she thought they were past that, and in the moment she'd lashed out without a filter and without thinking. Only when he'd left the house did she realize how far she'd gone, and it took a while before she realized that not so long ago she was guilty of some very similar crimes.

Emma had kept things from Killian more than once, things about her fate and those visions, and she understood that he had been at his core trying to protect her. His guilt for the actions of the man he once was were tearing him apart, and instead of being there and fighting for him in the way she wished now that she had, she'd abandoned her post too. She'd let him believe that she was giving up and yet that was the opposite of what Emma wanted. She had no desire to toss in the towel and throw all that they'd worked so hard for away. Emma wanted to fight for their love now and always, and she just had to convince Killian to do the same.

Unfortunately for Emma she currently lacked access to Killian, and though she could have used her magic to get to him, it didn't feel right. _He_ had to be the one to come back, Emma knew, but she kept feeling like maybe if she wished for his return badly enough he would walk through the door and back into her life once more. The only problem was the minutes were ticking by and the day had already come and gone and he still wasn't back. Killian was away from her, and Emma was left reeling in a way that she hadn't felt since she was a kid.

Waiting on people and wishing that they'd find her was a part of Emma's life that Emma thought she left behind. When she was still too little to have lost her hope, Emma used to wait at windows, watching the world go by and hoping that someone, anyone, would come and take her away. She'd wanted love and a family so badly and she'd found that with Killian and in Storybrooke, but now, whether it was fair or not, she was projecting all those old feelings of abandonment on him. Everyone at some point or another had let her down. Everyone had given up on her or given her up except for him. Killian never left her, at least not willingly, and accepting that this time might be different cut too deep for Emma to bear. She couldn't stand the thought of losing him, but in the face of her doubts, her old jaded cynicism came creeping back in.

 _He isn't coming,_ the gnawing, negative voices inside her mind said. _He's just like everyone else. You ran him off. You weren't enough. You can't have what you wanted._

Emma recoiled against those thoughts, still clinging to her hope, the hope that Killian had helped to foster over all the time they'd been together, but darkness on a cold, bitter night like this was poised to win. The snow was coming down outside, the house felt hollow with just Emma here alone, and being strong didn't feel possible to her right now. Everywhere she looked she saw Killian, and yet he wasn't here, and she was left run down and exhausted with no reprieve on the horizon. She'd never sleep the same without him, never feel at peace when so much was left unsaid, but even if her heart was breaking, she knew she couldn't let herself fall apart. There were too many other people relying on her and too many battles still ahead to let it all go. So she had to put those walls back up and pray that even if she felt totally alone and cold inside she could manage somehow for the sake of the family that she loved.

It was honestly an agonizing thought that she would have to pick up the pieces and carry on, but it had to be done. Sooner or later she had to face the music, but then just as she was about to hit the lights and admit defeat, Emma heard the sound of footsteps moving up the porch stairs and she held her breath. _Could it actually be him? Oh God please let it be Killian!_

Instinctively Emma moved to open the door before there was so much as a knock, feeling this sense of undying relief when she saw that it was the man she loved, standing there with snow in his hair and his ragged breath coming out in puffs of cold smoke. Then his piercing blue eyes met hers and she saw everything, from the sorrow of his actions to the guilt and the more than true love that he had for her. It was all right there clear as day, and Emma almost pinched herself, not believing that he had really come back.

"You're here," Emma said, her voice choked up as she said it and she noticed his concern spring up in a moment. Killian took a step towards her, reaching out for her without hesitation but then he stopped himself, apparently realizing the way they'd left things. God how she wished he hadn't held back, but it was something at least when he did come inside as she moved out of the doorway to let him back in the house that was always meant to be theirs together.

"Aye, I'm here, Swan. For better or worse, I'm here."

"You make it sound like that wasn't always a given," Emma said, reading past his simple turn of phrase and knowing she was right by the way his shoulders slouched a tiny bit. Immediately her heart leapt to her throat but then he righted himself and he looked at her, laying it all out for her to consider and at least engaging like she'd wanted him to do before.

"I _was_ going to leave, Emma. I was going to get on the Nautilus and try my damndest to become the man you deserve, a man who isn't so stained by darkness after all these years."

 _Of course he was,_ Emma thought to herself. That was exactly the kind of thing that Killian would think to do. He would completely blame himself for everything that had happened between them, and in a grand gesture that came from the right place but was not actually what she wanted, he would have sacrificed his own happiness to try and be better for her. He was always putting her first that way, and even in his missteps there was never any doubt that he'd prioritized her happiness and her safety over all else.

"So why didn't you?" Emma asked, hoping he wouldn't take her question the wrong way. She didn't want him to leave at all and she was so glad that he hadn't, but she had to know why. Was this Killian's choice? Or was there something more at play here?

"I realized that that man, the man you deserve, the man I want to be… he wouldn't run. And that's what I was doing, love. I was turning tail when the going got rough, and I swore to myself and to you a long time ago that I wouldn't do that. I might not be perfect, honestly I might not even be truly good. Perhaps there's been too much darkness done by my hand to ever really make right, but the one thing I won't do is hurt you more than I already have, Emma. I won't leave the way everyone else has left. I won't abandon you."

Emma couldn't believe what she was hearing because it was all just so much, but the words… well they were exactly what she'd needed to feel like he understood her. Because whether Killian could see it or not, he _was_ the man that she needed, and this, right here, it proved that. He was someone who was growing and changing and who was choosing to do right even when the choice felt impossible. Maybe he couldn't see it, but that made him braver than any man she knew, and it also made him uniquely designed almost by fate itself to be the one person in the world for her.

"Even if this is all for nothing, even if my actions then and now have turned your love to something less than what it was, I just…" his voice broke and a piece of Emma's heart went with it, but Killian continued on and said what he needed to say. "I needed you to know that I love you too much to leave you, Emma, and as long as there remains a chance that you could love me too I'm not going anywhere. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. I'll be better than I have been and earn trust from you and your family again. I'll -,"

Much as Emma might have liked to hear what else Killian had in mind, she honestly couldn't wait another second and she interrupted him by pulling him in by the collar of his jacket for a kiss that said what she couldn't. Hopefully he'd feel what she did in this moment and know that at least on her end there was nothing to forgive. The past was the past, and yes, it was ugly and dark and more than a little complicated given the pain that her Dad had gone through at losing his own father, but it would be all right. Love would make it all right, and even if Killian wasn't sure of himself, Emma could have enough faith for both of them.

"At the end of the day, whatever you've done, and whoever you have been, I know who you really are, Killian, and I love you. I love every part of you, the good and the bad, and I'm so…" Emma's voice broke and tears fell down her cheeks as she tried to get this last part out. "I'm so glad you didn't leave me."

"So am I, Swan. So am I," Killian whispered before wiping away her fallen tears and kissing her again.

This time Emma could feel so much of that weight of before lifting off of her shoulders. Things finally felt like they were headed in the right direction again, and even if there was so much more left to face, it just didn't matter. What mattered was that they had each other and they were both choosing love over everything else. That would be their guiding light from here on out, whether their burden was facing old scars from the past or fighting new enemies in the future; love would be the saving grace that both of them had gone too long in their lives without.

"I am truly sorry, Emma. I said there would be nothing else between us, and I let you down," Killian acknowledged as his hook came up to brush back some of the fallen strands that had escaped her braid and his eyes gazed upon hers as if she was some source of magical light itself. "Even if you are miraculous enough to forgive me with such ease, I still have to tell you that I was wrong, and I won't ever make that mistake of keeping things from you again."

"I'm sorry too," Emma said, clearly surprising him. "I freaked out when I should have been a bit more understanding. If I could do it all over again…" 

"I think we'd both have done things vastly differently, love, but time is a great teacher and we've years to make it right. If that's still what you want."

"That's exactly what I want," Emma confessed smiling and running her hand against his chest until it lay right above his beating heart. "There's just one thing…"

"And what's that, love?" Killian asked with a grin of his own that Emma was so thankful for. Only minutes ago this had felt so far away, but seeing Killian returning to himself made her feel so much stronger and more powerful in her own right than anything else could.

"Can I have my ring back?" she asked, assuming it was a given.

"No," Killian replied, shocking Emma and causing a bit of fear to spike, but then he soothed it away just as quickly as it had come by taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips to kiss gently. "No, because when I give you back your ring, Emma, it'll be in a way that you truly deserved. I had a few ideas, after all, before you stumbled upon my intentions, and I think this is fate's way of telling me to trust those instincts."

"Fair enough," Emma agreed before smiling and watching Killian's face light up too. "Just don't make me wait _too_ long, okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it, love," Killian promised, and Emma knew he would keep his word.

With that, the two of them then went upstairs for the night, walking hand in hand and knowing that they'd turned a corner. For even if this was a bad day in so many ways, it was one Emma would be eternally grateful for. After all, it had taught both of them so much and it had only further cemented their commitment to each other and to the love they'd found.

And as for the waiting, Emma needn't have worried, for the next day brought that perfect proposal moment Killian had been planning all along. In the end, her pirate managed to create something for her that was timeless and lovely and thoughtful in all the ways he was, and Emma was so awed by it she had to admit he was right. This was the way it was always supposed to turn out, and now they could eagerly take this next step knowing that they were in this together and ready for whatever the world might bring.

…

 _All I want is nothing more_

 _To hear you knocking at my door_

 _'Cause if I could see your face once more_

 _I could die as a happy man I'm sure_

 _When you said your last goodbye_

 _I died a little bit inside_

 _I lay in tears in bed all night_

 _Alone without you by my side_

 _But If you loved me_

 _Why did you leave me_

 _Take my body_

 _Take my body_

 _All I want is_

 _All I need is_

 _To find somebody_

 _I'll find somebody_

 _Ooh oh_

 _Ooh oh_

 _Ooh oh_

 _Ooh oh_

 _'Cause you brought out the best of me_

 _A part of me I'd never seen_

 _You took my soul wiped it clean_

 _Our love was made for movie screens_

 _But If you loved me_

 _Why did you leave me_

 _Take my body_

 _Take my body_

 _All I want is_

 _All I need is_

 _To find somebody_

 _I'll find somebody_

 _Ooh oh_

 _Ooh oh_

 _Ooh oh_

 _Ooh oh_

 _Ooh ah_

 _Ooh oh_

 _ **Post-Note: Not gonna lie I gave myself a boatload of feels with this chapter (mainly because I had to go back and rewatch an episode I told myself I was never going back to). But in the end I have to say it was pretty cathartic. I totally understand logically why this scene never got to happen, but I just have to say that the writers could have found a way around doing this. They could have spared CS all that emotional torment, but since they wouldn't that just means I got to. Anyway, thank you so much to the lovely reader who suggested this song so long ago, and I hope that you all have a great rest of your day!**_


	158. Written in the Stars

_**A/N: Prompted future CS family drabble where Killian and Emma take their kids out for some family bonding. I've chosen to have them all be on the Jolly for a night stargazing because I love killing myself with feels. I'm also tying this in with a request for 'October: Written In The Stars' by Tim Myers. Hope you guys enjoy!**_

Life had been a game of give and take for Emma Swan for a very long time. For years and years it felt like the world around her did all the taking and she was the one left with nothing to give. She'd been beaten down and left alone and scared to let people in or give good things a chance to thrive, but that had changed when she came to Storybrooke, found her family, and opened herself up to a love that transformed her once ordinary world into something so much brighter.

It was years ago now that she and Killian had met back in the Enchanted Forest, bonded on a beanstalk, and proceeded to fall in love in the midst of some of the most tumultuous parts of Emma's life. But in many ways it felt like a lifetime had passed since then, because all of that chaos and pain and the battle of good and evil was largely behind them. They'd won the right to actually have their peace and quiet, and in the meantime Emma and Killian had made the most of that.

After settling a little bit into their happy beginning and coasting through the honeymoon phase with nothing worse than some unfortunate parental pancake making interruptions and run of the mill Storybrooke drama to keep them busy, Emma and Killian had been blessed to find out they were going to be parents to not one, but two babies. Yup, after everything it wasn't enough for them to just have one new addition, they were destined for twice the fun in the form of a little girl and boy they named Leia and Liam. To say that those first two years had been crazy hectic was an understatement, and then, just as they'd _finally_ gotten the hang of things, they found out that they were fated for one more bundle of joy in the Jones house.

"How much longer til they get here, Daddy?" their youngest daughter Hope asked and Emma couldn't help glancing back to where Killian stood at the wheel of the Jolly with his eager little helper just beside him. Now at the age of three Hope was a handful to say the least, but she also had her parents, her siblings, and the whole town of Storybrooke wrapped around her little finger tighter than her brown corkscrew curls.

"Not long, lass. Not long at all," Killian claimed pulling her up from the ground and settling her on his shoulders as Hope squealed with joy and clapped her hands together jubilantly. Meanwhile Killian cast his gaze over to Emma and sent her a smile that lit her up just as much as seeing their children happy did.

"I'm glad the clouds never came," Liam said from his spot at the railing beside Emma, looking up towards the heavens in the early evening sky with so much enthusiasm it amazed her. His passion for stargazing was palpable even at so young an age, and his faith in how wonderful it would all be rivaled even Henry's ability to believe that good things would come to those who deserved it. "It would have stunk to miss this."

"Mom wouldn't have let that happen," Leia said from Emma's other side, her eyes more interested in staring back at the Storybrooke coastline than the stars above. "Remember when she made the snow day for us?"

"I didn't…" Emma was about to claim that she hadn't ever messed with the weather to keep the kids from school, but she had a thing about lying, and she wouldn't mislead her children when it came to something like this. She did have to wonder though how Leia knew about that and she looked back at Killian who was listening intently and shrugging his shoulders as if to say, 'our girl's a genius, Swan, what can you do?'

"I heard you call Elsa through the mirror the night before," Leia admitted without needing any prompting and Emma bit back a smile, knowing her eldest daughter had inherited not only so much of Emma's physical looks, but also all of her need to question things and piece together puzzles. Leia was naturally curious, and very few things ever got past her even if she was so young. "And I figure if you can make it snow, then you can make the clouds go away, right?"

"Fair enough, kid," Emma said, running her fingers through the long blonde strands of Leia's hair and sending her daughter a smile that was returned instantaneously.

"There it is!" Liam shouted not a second later, pointing up to the sky. "The first star's here!"

This announcement sent all of the Jones kids into a tizzy, and even little Hope was immediately ready to descend from her perch on Killian's shoulders to join her siblings by the railing. But what her children, eager and enthusiastic as they were, seemed to miss was that they still had quite some time to fill before tonight's celestial show was set to begin. They were out here after all to see a meteor shower Henry had put them on to, and the sky would need at least another twenty minutes to darken further before those would appear.

"You know what I was thinking?" Killian asked, posing the question not just to Emma as he came to take his place beside her but to their kids as well. He was then (rather unsparingly) greeted with full attention from their three little ones who all looked up to their Dad in the best possible way. "I was thinking that an evening like this one, grand as it's no doubt going to be, deserves something special to go with it."

"Is it a puppy?!" Leia immediately asked and Emma had to fight back a laugh at her daughter's actual belief that there might be a secret dog aboard the Jolly that none of them had noticed in the thirty minutes they'd been sailing out here, but then Emma found herself wondering because all it would take was one hint that his children wanted something and Killian would make that wish come true. Emma was luckily able to breathe easy again though when Killian shook his head.

"Not quite," Killian said, though he shot Emma a look that silently told her they'd be having a canine-based conversation straight away. Knowing their track record Emma was quite certain that no matter what kind of resistance she put up, her husband would find a way to convince her, and luckily for her Killian's persuasive tactics were always more than gratifying in the end. Besides, she'd always wanted a dog, and the kids were getting to an age now where she could probably try and juggle that new responsibility in the midst of everything else.

"It's cocoa and cookies," Liam said definitively looking at Killian's face and reading him like a book with an almost magical flare. Their son really did have a gift with predicting things, but even knowing that Killian allowed a little shock to manifest in his features that made Emma smile. "And they're the triple chocolate ones you make that Mom can't ever really get right."

"Aye, lad," Killian said nodding his head before pulling his son in to ruff up his hair a bit. "Serves me right for playing a guessing game with the master."

The interlude between Killian and Liam then, with both of them laughing and happy brought a clutching sense of emotion to Emma's chest. Her throat grew tight and the familiar sting of happy tears came to her eyes, but she wouldn't let herself cry. Honestly the one thing separating her from becoming her own mother at this point was her ability to at least _pretend_ to hold back all these feelings and Emma would not abandon that reputation now even if this was heartwarming and lovely to see.

"Daddy, Mommy needs a cookie. She's got the Grandma face," Hope said coming to take Emma's hand and just making the sea of feelings all the stronger. To fend them off though Emma picked Hope up in her arms, balanced her on her hip, and smiled before pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead.

"Oh the Grandma face, huh? And just exactly what is the Grandma face?" Emma teased as Hope made an exaggerated pout with her mouth and her eyes started to glass over. It was actually incredibly convincing right down to the forming tears, enough so that Emma wouldn't be surprised if they had a little actress on their hands in a few years time. For the time being though, Hope's rendition had them all laughing as Killian popped over to where he'd stashed the thermos of cocoa and the cookies for all, bringing them back along with a quilt to lay down on the deck of the Jolly and granting them all a well placed distraction before the shower.

"I love you Mom, I really do," Leia said at one point after she'd downed two cookies and most of her cocoa. "But Dad's cookies are _way_ better."

" _So_ much better," Liam agreed before offering a slightly apologetic look.

"They're the bestest!" Hope said before giggling and pressing her hand to Killian's face from where she sat on his lap. "Thank you Daddy."

The kids all chorused their thanks as Emma watched on, not the least bit put out by Killian's being a better baker than she was. After all marriage and parenting was a partnership that called on both their skill sets. It was just funny though to think that the once fearsome Captain Hook was now so seemingly domesticated that he baked cookies and packed lunches and planned nighttime picnics for his family aboard the notorious ship he'd once called home.

"Look! A shooting star! It's starting!" Liam exclaimed and Emma watched as her kids jumped up and ran to the edge of the ship again.

The three of them gave away just how impressed they were with their 'oohs' and 'aahs' and it was clear as day that the bunch of them were happy as could be, but then Emma gazed on as Liam took both his sisters hands in his, linking these three perfect parts of her world together and silently reminding Emma of how secure and loved and special all of her children (including Henry) felt every day. After a lifetime of never having that herself, it was that sense of trust and belonging that Emma cherished more than anything and would protect come hell or high water.

"How did we ever get so lucky?" Emma whispered as she stood up herself but stayed in the center of the ship, her face looking back over her shoulder and catching that Killian's eyes were already on her and he was only inches away. His presence there and that softness in his expressive blue eyes filled her heart with that same fluttering sense of rightness that had never faded in all the time they'd been together, and she was pretty much powerless to resist the urge to lean back against him, soaking in his warmth as she did.

"Simple, Swan. We fought for it and paid our dues and chose love. Essentially we followed all of your mother's advice and here we are."

Emma laughed at that mention of her Mom's still highly prevalent hope speeches and positive mentality and she felt Killian give way to his own chuckle as she shifted around in his arms, coming so they were face to face as she was still wrapped up in her husband's arms. But when the laughter faded, what remained in the depths of Killian's eyes was all the love and faith and belief she'd come to know over the years. Time might have passed, situations may have changed, but he was the same man, good, and kind, and protective of her and this family in the way a good father and husband should be.

"You make it sound so easy," Emma teased and Killian actually let out a growling sound at the insinuation, which somehow made Emma both want some of that precious little alone time they struggled to find raising three young kids, and want to laugh again soaking in all these good feelings.

"It was hardly easy, love, as you well know, but nothing truly worth having comes without struggle. And I would do it all again, face every foe and hit every low point, just to get to this."

Emma agreed, leaning her head against the crook of his shoulder as the two of them turned to watch their kids and look up at the stars themselves. It was, in truth, a perfect night out here on their home away from home, and Emma tried so hard to be in the moment but also take in every last detail to remember this best of times for years to come.

"You have to make a wish, Mommy!" Hope said delightedly a little while later, running from her brother and sister and pulling on her shirt, pointing her finger at the heavens above where the meteor shower they'd all come to watch was now out in full force.

Emma beamed down at her daughter, thinking to herself that there wasn't really a point. In this moment right now Emma everything she wanted and it felt greedy to ask for much more. The only thing she could think was that she wanted all of her children to find this kind of happiness and live lives that would bring them this kind of joy without all the struggle she and Killian had had to go through. She wanted them to know love and to love themselves too, and when her gaze caught her husband's Emma knew that was his wish as well. The two of them were so in sync and had been for years, and the thing that mattered most in the world was preserving what they'd made here for now and always.

"Did you think of one?" Hope asked determinedly and Emma nodded. "Good. Now close yours eyes and wish really, really hard."

Emma followed the directions, assuming she could close her eyes for ten seconds and that would appease her rambunctious daughter, but then a kiss pressed at her lips that Emma knew was from her husband, and she smiled, opening her eyes before she was supposed to and finding Killian grinning at her too. Damn him and his still roguishly charming smiles. They'd been together for so long and yet he was still just as handsome as always. It almost wasn't fair.

"Sometimes a man has to take destiny in his own hands and make his wishes come true, love. It simply can't be helped."

"Uh-huh," Emma murmured before moving a bit closer to him and whispering low so no under-aged ears would hear. "Well when the kids are all asleep later why don't we work on making a few more of those _wishes_ of yours a reality?"

"Bloody hell," Killian cursed before muttering about her siren-like tendencies and pulling another grin from Emma. But just when Killian looked like he was about to kiss her again, the kids were back pulling both of them to the edge of the ship for more family-friendly fun.

And though their children might have interrupted a special, stolen moment, Emma had to admit it was in the most wonderful of ways, for the rest of the night was filled with the same kind of cheer and happiness in their family. The five of them stood there all together marveling at the sky above and they even called Henry to get his take on this extravaganza from where he was watching off at school. In short it was an amazing evening, and when they all returned home again and the kids were fast asleep, all those promises from before were kept, cementing it as yet another perfect day in the scheme of Emma and Killian's happily ever after.

….

 _I fell in so far and fast_

 _I knew that our love would last_

 _And every moment I'd hold on so tight_

' _cause its only drifting by_

 _Do you know that our love is written in the stars_

 _Do you think that its fate the way that we are_

 _So glad I found you._

 _I belong to you,_

 _you belong to me_

 _that's always how it was meant to be_

 _I fell in with every word_

 _Every smile helped me learn that its worth it to feel this close_

 _And the strength of letting go_

 _Do you know that our love, is written in the stars._

 _Do you think that its fate, the way that we are._

 _So glad that I found you,_

 _I belong to you,_

 _you belong to me_

 _that's always how it was meant to be._

 _Do you know that our love was written in the stars_

 _Do you think that its fate, the way that we are_

 _So glad that I found you,_

 _I belong to you_

 _and you belong to me_

 _that's always how it was meant to be._

 _ **Post-Note: So first and foremost I would like to thank the readers who asked for this song and prompt. I had never heard the song before, but it was really nice and it sparked this fluffy little interlude, which was a joy to write. I also want to thank all of you guys for the support and the continued ideas. My list of songs to get to at some point has surpassed 35 and while that's very daunting it's also amazing! I'm so thrilled people like this idea of collecting a CS mixtape and seeing how people experience this ship musically. It's a real gift for me as a writer, and I just hope you guys enjoy it too. Thank you all so much for reading and hope you're having a lovely Sunday!**_


	159. Black

_**A/N: This chapter brings to life a reader requested oneshot for the song 'Black' by Dierks Bently. It's an AU where Emma and Killian have been dating for a while but Killian is terrified of making the move for further intimacy for fear of losing Emma (who doesn't usually get attached to people), but by their fifth date Emma is done waiting and things escalate from there. Includes some confessions about how important they are to each other and rated M for all the smuff.**_

Getting back to the front steps of Emma's place after a fifth consecutive date that blew every other one Killian Jones had ever known right out of the water, the anticipation was close to killing him.

Truly there was something in the air between him and Emma that crackled and sparked in a way he'd never been accustomed to with anyone else, but that magic was something he didn't want to rush or take for granted. He was trying his best to take this thing between them slowly and not assume that Emma felt the same raw and seemingly endless need that he did, but that was bloody difficult to do when she looked at him the way she did in this moment, smiling and open and ever lovely in that sinful black number she'd donned for their dinner this evening.

"So I had a really good time tonight…" Emma murmured, her words trailing off in a tantalizing way and her green eyes flicking up to his, brightened by the lamp outside and the full moon out tonight.

"As did I, love," Killian replied immediately, hoping beyond hope that she didn't catch onto how quick his reply was. He could feel that not so subtle hint of desperation rumbling through him, but for the time being he was trying to keep that contained from this siren who had entranced him since their first meeting a few months ago.

That was easier said than done, however, when Emma took a step closer to him out there on the porch, her hand coming up to lay above his heart and her body coming close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating off her skin. The scent of lavender and vanilla that he'd come to identify as uniquely hers permeated through the space between them, and those luscious red lips of hers glistened in the moment where she wet them absentmindedly. God above was she temptation made flesh, and if he could possibly deny this craving low in his gut he deserved a damn parade.

"It was _so_ good in fact I was thinking maybe it shouldn't end here," Emma whispered, her innuendo tightening the coil already forming low in his gut and commanding his body to full attention. She was now making it very obvious what she wanted, and since Emma Swan was anything but a tease, Killian knew that when she asked him to come in it would be for more than a spot of rum or an after dinner coffee. No, Emma was making the move for the next step between them since he had not, and Killian's jaw ticked with the pressure building up inside him that wanted to say yes but felt compelled to beg for patience.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, love," Killian replied and though he hadn't anticipated it there was a flash of confusion and then something that looked too much like hurt in Emma's eyes for him to ever be easy with. Immediately he tried to correct himself. "Not because I don't want to, Swan, because God knows I want nothing more than to go inside with you."

"So why don't you?" Emma asked, her mostly imperceptible spike of fear seemingly behind her now allowing Killian to breathe a little easier even if this was still the most difficult of tasks.

It also didn't help much that Emma's hands were still on him and she was still so close, close enough to pull in for another of those damned enticing kisses he was hoping to steal all night. Since the first one she'd bestowed on him their first date Killian was nothing less than an addict, so how he refrained from just pulling her to him he didn't know. Emma was the definition of distraction, and yet underneath that electric current she sent coursing through him with her nearness there was something else too, something comforting and emboldening that Killian chose to cling to as he fessed up to the truth.

"It's just – bloody hell how do I say this? Look, Emma, I don't want to muck this all up by rushing in. This thing we've got going here, it feels too important to undermine by hurrying towards next steps. _You're_ too important for me to lose and I'd hate for this to be over before it even began."

Too late Killian realized what he'd just said and how much he'd given away. When he and Emma met months back, he'd been made aware both by her and by her reputation in town that Emma Swan didn't do commitment. She was a one and done kind of person preferring to avoid romantic attachments at all costs so that she wouldn't get hurt. So when Killian had not only taken her on one but five fantastic dates he felt more than blessed. Already he'd had all of this time to with a woman who outshone every other person he'd ever met, but he wasn't ready for that to be over and if that made him greedy so be it. Where Emma was concerned he would always want more of her, and though he'd spent night after night dreaming of taking their flirtations further he'd held back for fear that when he finally tasted that bit of heaven she was offering she'd be gone and he'd be left devastated and still desperate for more.

"So you think that if we have sex you're going to lose me?" Emma asked, her tone a mix of curiosity and something else, something warmer that reminded Killian of that beautiful laugh of hers. She found that idea funny for whatever reason, and that mixed with the fact that she hadn't pulled away at his confession gave Killian a sincere sense of hope that he was terrified to let go of.

"Well maybe not in so many words, love, but -,"

Thankfully before he had to articulate that particular sentiment Emma closed the space between them, pulling him down by the collar of his jacket for a kiss that instantly washed away that lingering worry. In that kiss there was more than mere temptation and seduction too, there was a need there that Killian recognized and that he'd been trying to tamp down for too bloody long. Now that holding back was about to end though, because he could feel just how badly Emma wanted him, and whatever may come next it would be worth it to bring her any kind of happiness.

"I promise if you take me to bed right now it won't be over, Killian. Honestly, I'm kind of hoping it will just be the start..."

"God I love the sound of that," Killian agreed before surprising Emma by opening the door she'd already unlocked, whisking her inside, and pushing her back up against the closed door. "As long as you realize Emma that taking this step means I'm all in, _we're_ all in."

"I do," Emma whispered, but before their lips crashed down together to meet in that crackling fire of heat and built up tensions, Killian's heart thumped loudly in his chest at her word choice. Never in his life had he even considered what those words from a woman would mean to him, but that was because he hadn't found the right one, not until Emma, and now that he had her Killian was intent on pleasing her in a way that showed her nothing and no one could compare to him and what he'd be willing to always give her if granted the chance.

The feel of Emma's soft, luscious figure against Killian as she arched closer, kissing him back in a way he'd only dreamed of, was intoxicating and enough to have him near dizzy from the varying but all sublime sensations. He was caught up in this woman and not remotely interested in breaking away in any form, so when his lips left hers they had to find their way to her somehow, moving down her jaw to her neck and teasing her into a frenzy Killian swore he could feel. Her shivers beneath him and the thready hums his Swan released as she caved to this feeling, submitting to his every touch and kiss and attention was the ultimate gift, but somehow even that wasn't enough. He needed to see and worship and cherish all of her, and he had to do it now.

"Bedroom?" Killian asked, the word coming out gruffer than he'd ever anticipated, but as his eyes caught Emma's he could tell she was just as far gone as he sounded. Her gaze was heated and intense and in giving way to this passion between them she'd let all of the walls slip low, walls that he'd been chipping at for weeks that Killian knew had been Emma's safe guards forever. Now though, there was nothing between them except for these blasted clothes that Killian intended to shed as soon as bloody possible.

"Last door on the right," Emma replied and no sooner had she said the words than they were in motion, partaking in an intricate and seductive dance that left half of their garments strewn almost in a trail to the bedroom, and by the time they were there, Killian was nearly overcome by the sight of Emma shed of that damned enticing black number she'd been wearing and now donning only the most delicate of lace in the boldest shade of crimson imaginable.

"You're stunning, Swan," Killian said, meaning it totally as he debated between taking her in in all her glory with her golden hair tumbling free along her shoulders and that knowing smirk of hers turning up her lips. But when she stepped back to him and her hand ran across his bare chest, thoughts of holding back fled. He was powerless to resist the pull to have her, but he'd fight tooth and nail to resist long enough to satisfy every last possible need Emma might have.

"So you keep telling me," Emma whispered, her voice dipping low to a tone dripping with innuendo and desire all at once. It melted and washed across his skin, bringing that already prevalent thrum of need coursing throughout him to an even louder roar, but there was also a sweet sincerity to it and to the look in Emma's eyes that stole his breath away. She might be a siren but she was still fragile behind her strength and worthy of every kind of protection after the past she'd led that Killian was beginning to understand more and more of with each passing moment they spent together.

"Tonight I'll show you just how remarkable I find you, Emma. You have my word on that."

With that promise offered, the two of them kissed again, and Killian stripped away the last of his clothes before making their way to the bed and falling atop of it with a coordination that only came with the realest chemistry. The two of them were so in sync and so understanding of the other, and for Killian this was everything. He could practically anticipate every sigh that passed Emma's lips and every arch of her hips upwards trying to get the friction of his hard length that was still separated by the scrap of lace between her thighs. He'd purposely kept those sinful garments on her person, anticipating the moment he'd unwrap her to a degree that shocked even him.

Meandering the line between a slow, thoughtful teasing and rough need-driven attentions was a difficult proposition thanks to the dueling rationales that gripped at Killian. On the one hand he wanted hard and fast as a means of satisfying his hunger that had only grown and grown as weeks had gone on. He was too riled up and too desperate for her to think of anything but slipping into her warm heat and feeling that level of completion he knew he would find with this incredible woman, but even as he felt he might go mad from wanting her, Killian was addicted to the almost torturous sense of delight he could bring Emma by waiting and building up the already overwhelming anticipation even more.

He was gratified with her clear and unabashed approval of his ministrations as his hands roamed over and his kisses drew lower, and when he'd stripped her of the bra that had concealed her breasts and gave them the attention he'd fantasized about for weeks, his pride surged at her responses. The way she called his name as he wound her need tighter and tighter was music to his ears, but it wasn't enough. What Killian needed was the sound of Emma falling into completion and giving way to an earth shattering climax before he could even think of taking this further.

This, luckily, was easily done, for though this was their first time, Killian felt this innate understanding of Emma's body and her wishes. Perhaps it was the fact that he'd been an always vigilant observer of her before taking things to this level, but Killian was running on instincts and finding validation at every turn, like when his mouth took one of her aching buds and sucked deep at the same time that his fingers moved beneath the now soaked material of the lace between her legs.

"God, Killian, it's – it's too much. It's too _good_ ," Emma said, her thoughts coming out less coherently than they usually did. Emma was brilliant, and time had taught Killian that she was easily one of the smartest people he'd ever met, but right now she was mindless to his perusals and that pulled a growl from him and a need to push her further and to taste that desire she was giving way to right now.

As he continued to tease her sex with his fingers Killian moved down her body, dropping kisses and nips against her creamy skin all the way, inadvertently marking her with the scruff of his beard and the tiny bit of excess his bites bestowed. Come the morning there'd be signs of how he'd made love to her and that was as it should be as far as Killian was concerned. Each and every spot would be a map of sorts of where he could bring his Swan pleasure, and now that they had an understanding that this relationship was here to stay and grow and flourish, he had every intention of recreating this magic over and over again.

By the time he'd reached her sex, poised to bring her satisfaction of the purest kind, Killian's control had snapped and no sooner had his tongue met flesh then Killian knew Emma was as gone as he was. All he knew was that he needed her to give way to bliss and that he had to be the one to give it to her. Killian wanted Emma to know just what perfection felt like because this to him was perfect. Emma in his arms and with this open sense of trust and need was his ideal and having her felt better than anything he'd ever known. She was every dream made real, but now he wanted her to garner that same sense of rightness and when she fell over the edge, crying out his name on a moan as her climax hit, Killian believed she might finally be getting on his page.

Kissing his way back up her body and murmuring words of praise against her flushed skin, Killian felt the way Emma fought to catch her breath again, coming down from that high he'd just bestowed upon her. He also felt the way her hands instinctively reached out to him, running across his skin, through his hair, and lighting up every spot they touched simply by seeking him out. By the time he was over her once again and their eyes were meeting once more Killian was practically vibrating with the raw energy of it all, and then he saw Emma beaming up at him and every thought other than that she was a miracle flew from his mind.

"You know why I was never planning to run from this?" Emma asked as her hand came to cup his cheek and her thumb ran across the corner of his mouth lightly. "Because at every turn you manage to look at me like I'm the best thing you've ever seen. Like somehow I'm the key to everything."

Killian was startled a bit by how transparent he was, since that was exactly the way he felt about Emma, but since she wasn't running from the intensity of that attraction and care he had for her, he might as well embrace the truth. He would always rather be honest with Emma, and with her superhuman ability to sniff out a lie it wouldn't do much good to deny anyhow.

"And that doesn't scare you?" Killian asked seriously, searching her gaze for some sort of faltering in her warmth and smile but finding none. Instead, however, she managed to surprise him by switching their positions so she was now straddling him from above and making quite the vision as she did.

"Oh it does," Emma admitted as her hands ran across his chest and then lower and lower, her eyes trailing along his skin and making his muscles tighten even as he was worried about her answer. Then she looked up at him and smiled again before confessing something to ease that ache inside. "But the thought of leaving you or losing this… well that's just so much worse."

"You won't lose me, Emma," Killian vowed immediately and Emma's grin only grew as she leaned down to press another kiss to his lips, this one soft and sincere and filled with the hope Killian himself could feel blooming in his chest at an almost more obvious rate than the lust that had been surging through him all night.

"I know I won't," Emma whispered when they broke apart, surprising him by trailing kisses lower and lower and moving down his body until she was poised to take his hard length in her mouth, pushing him over the edge of sanity and bringing to life so many fantasies at the same time. "And you won't lose me either."

That vow from Emma was enough to have Killian too close to falling over to his passion, but her mouth on him was a whole other kind of amazing torment and though he let himself linger in that mind boggling ecstasy for a while, he eventually pleaded with Emma that he wouldn't last that way and mercifully Emma responded, coming back above him and allowing them both the chance to come together the way that they should on this first time neither of them would ever forget.

With her golden hair falling in a curtain around her, appearing just as soft as Killian knew it to be and her lips swollen from his kisses all night long, Emma was the realest, purest thing Killian ever seen and ever known, and though it went by too fast and yet still too painfully slow, the crescendo that built was magnificent and blinding, consuming them both with every thrust and motion between them. And when that moment of truth came when the two of them came crashing together, it was so strong and so powerful the world almost went black with the impact. Killian could feel his heart hammering, his whole body spent, and his mind swimming through a haze of pleasure, but more important than all of that was the feeling of Emma against his chest, tucked into him and holding him close just as he was holding her.

"And to think you thought this wouldn't be a good idea," Emma teased easily, reminding him of the earlier conversation on her front porch before they'd said what needed saying and gotten the truth of their feelings out there for good.

"I never in my wildest dreams would consider you and me together a bad idea, Emma," Killian stated plainly as he felt her soft even breathing against the crook of his neck and the lingering heat of her body seeping through him at every point they were connected. "I only knew that if we had tonight and nothing else…"

"It wouldn't be enough," Emma murmured, filling in his thinking exactly.

"No it wouldn't, love," Killian confirmed as his fingertips trailed along her back, dancing up the curve of her spine and feeling her wriggle against him as he did. "I'm not sure that 'enough' really exists when it comes to you."

"Well then, it's a good thing we don't have to worry about this being a one time thing," Emma said, leaning up again to meet his eyes and kiss him rather chastely given how intimate they'd only just been. But to be honest it was just as tantalizing as this whole damn evening had been and made Killian feel just as much as every touch before it.

"Aye, love. It's a good thing indeed."

And with that the two of them spent the rest of the night reveling in this new found connection between them, before continuing on a path of love and hope that would make the both of them very happy forever after.

….

 _The moon outside_

 _Too bright, those blinds, yeah lets just keep them closed_

 _You know, my hands they know where to go, to find your finger tips_

 _Trace them back to your lips, take you on a trip, flip that switch_

 _Make my world go black, hit me like a heart attack, knock me flat on my back, yeah_

 _Just keep doing that, that thing you're doing there, brush me with your hair, I swear_

 _I don't know how long that I can last_

 _Make my world go black, black_

 _Make my world go black, black_

 _Like your dress on the floor, yeah the one you don't need anymore,_

 _Black like a sky with no stars, just find me and fall into my arms_

 _And make my world go black, hit me like a heart attack, knock me flat on my back, yeah_

 _Just keep doing that, that thing you're doing there, brush me with your hair, I swear_

 _I don't know how long that I can last_

 _Make my world go black_

 _Make my world go black_

 _I don't wanna see a thing, baby I just wanna feel your touch, feel your rush_

 _I don't wanna see a thing, I just wanna feel your love_

 _Make my world go black, hit me like a heart attack, knock me flat on my back, yeah_

 _Just keep doing that, that thing you're doing there, brush me with your hair, I swear_

 _I don't know how long that I can last_

 _Make my world go black, black_

 _Make my world go black_

 _Make my world go black_

 _I don't wanna see a thing_

 _I just wanna feel your touch, feel your rush_

 _Black_

 _Black_

 _ **Post-Note: So this was a prompt I got months and months back (and I have to thank my reader for being so patient because really it was so long ago) but I have always liked this song and definitely wanted to write an AU to go with it as soon as I got the request. I also feel like it has been a while since I've done an AU like this and so why not bring the fluff and smut for a song of this caliber that so blatantly wants both? Anyway I hope that you guys enjoyed and thank you so much for reading!**_


	160. Between the Raindrops

_**A/N: Fluffy (and tiny) post 6-B drabble where Emma and Killian spent a day sailing on the Jolly Roger and are coming into port just as a storm has rolled into town. Killian's a bit worried it will spoil their day but Emma sees things differently. Most definitely includes a kiss in the rain and my typical CS cuteness because I'm me. Inspired by the song 'Between the Raindrops' by Lifehouse.**_

Of all the problems and all the messes that Emma and Killian had faced together, there were easily more than a dozen scenarios that Emma never wanted to relive. In their relationship so far, there had been enough suffering and enough setbacks. There had been death and loss and separations, memory loss and realm hopping and almost too many curses to count, but recently, after everything had settled from the final battle, the kinds of problems before them were of a totally different nature.

Case in point Emma and Killian were currently staring down the barrel of a pretty substantial storm, easily the worst they'd faced in weeks, but it wasn't some devious big bad or scheming villain that posed a problem. No, quite literally it was an _actual_ thunderstorm, one that had decided to roll into Storybrooke at the tail end of Killian and Emma's day off where they'd been sailing on the Jolly in the harbor. One minute the sky had been clear and the only clouds had been white, fluffy and unimposing, and the next the rain started pouring and the rumblings of the storm front blasted around them as cracks of lightning lit up the evening sky.

"Bloody hell it's practically a hurricane!" Killian called out from across the decks of the Jolly and Emma rolled her eyes thinking he was exaggerating. Then another bolt of lightening kissed the turbulent blue-gray waves they'd left further out and Emma jumped, admitting it was a pretty nasty swell after a picture perfect day. Thankfully they were back now by the docks just trying to set things up so the Jolly would be safe to leave, but it had been touch and go for a spell, and a few more minutes out spent enjoying the open seas would have created quite a problem for the two of them.

"It's just a little rain!" Emma called back with a purposefully teasing lilt in her voice as Killian brought down the sails, showing off the hard lines of his muscled arms to Emma as he did and drawing her attention. Damn her husband was hot, that was just a fact of her life, but there was something about him soaking wet and taking command of the harder problems they were facing that sparked a need in Emma that probably shouldn't be so apparent in the middle of a rainstorm.

"A _little_ rain?!" he scoffed as he continued moving about the ship, momentarily oblivious to her ongoing interest in how he appeared right now. "Come now, love, you know this is hardly a light misting."

"It's nothing we can't handle," Emma countered, her words a little tighter than they had been, and when he heard the subtle change Killian looked back to her, taking her all in before responding. In his expression Emma could see his own ever-present level of admiration too, but it was outshone by genuine concern for her that touched Emma as Killian's caring always did.

"Maybe not, but I'll be damned if you catch a cold out here after the day we've had. A man doesn't romance his wife like this just for it all to be washed away."

Emma laughed outright at that, thinking that on some level Killian had to be kidding. After all they'd just spent the day together in the sun, exploring the coastline around them and luxuriating in their afternoon away from the rest of the world with a mix of sweetness and sex appeal befitting any good honeymoon. There'd been a picnic, some rum, and more than one interlude not fit for public or family consumption and all of it had been brilliant. But right now her husband looked dead serious in his concerns, and in between the tasks that were more than second nature to him that he was undertaking to secure the ship, Killian kept looking her way as if worried Emma would wilt under the pressures of the storm.

If anything, however, Emma felt rejuvenated by this. The day had been almost overly warm even in all its glory and they were in the midst of a long hot summer that was stretching on and on, so a storm like this was welcome if a bit overwhelming in its unexpected intensity. Yet from the look on Killian's face one would think that Emma was in actual, tangible danger, and Emma didn't want him to linger in those worries. Killian was right, they had just spent a wonderfully romantic day together and they shouldn't be fretting over a relatively harmless storm; they should be chasing those good feelings some more and ending the day on the high note from which it started.

With that thought in mind Emma found herself moving, cutting across the worn wooden decks of the Jolly until she was right before Killian with all of his attention locked right on her. In his deep blue eyes that shone so much brighter than the sea around them now she saw nothing but love and a little curiosity, but that questioning melted away when she pulled him down by the shirt he was wearing and in for a kiss right there in the rain. Maybe it was a little cheesy, and yes, perhaps it was reminiscent of a few too many romantic movies to be totally her style, but Emma gave all of herself to that kiss and she found that she loved it, connotations be damned, as soon as Killian met her beat for beat giving just as good as he got.

It was hard to say exactly how long the kiss lasted, and despite the cool trickles of rain that continued to fall and slide across their skin and seep into their clothes, Emma was on fire, consumed with the love that she had inside her heart for her husband that had never faded and that never would. It was actually kind of perfect, standing out there in the midst of a storm as natural chaos unfurled all around, because standing in the arms of the man she loved Emma felt untouchable without a care or a fear or a worry anywhere in sight.

"No storm is going to wash us away, Killian. We're stronger than that. We're stronger than anything, as long as we're together," Emma finally whispered when they'd pulled apart from the kiss, their foreheads touching and their bodies wrapped together. Emma could feel the push of Killian's hook against the small of her back and his hand at her waist, but then it came up to cup her cheek as his eyes met hers, shining bright with hope and honesty and all the trust in the world.

"Aye, love. You're more than right about that. And if you want to stay out here all night then by the Gods we will," he promised, grinning at her and pulling a genuine smile to her lips in the process.

"But you had other ideas?" Emma prodded, knowing that he did even without having to ask and pulling a chuckle from Killian as his thumb traced the corner of her mouth ever so lightly and his eyes dropped back down to her lips.

"I was just thinking that the only thing better than having this moment out here would be getting you home and warm and out of these wet clothes…"

There was nothing more that Killian needed to say to convince Emma, and her only response was to ask if he had anything left to do to protect the Jolly from the storm. And when he told her that he didn't Emma thanked her lucky stars before flicking her wrist and _poofing_ them both back home so they could make good on all those wonderful thoughts of his and spend the rest of this perfect day in a way befitting two people so truly and wonderfully in love.

…..

 _Look around  
There's no one but you and me  
Right here and now  
The way it was meant to be  
There's a smile on my face  
Knowing that together everything that's in our way  
We're better than alright_

 _Walking between the raindrops  
Riding the aftershock beside you  
Off into the sunset  
Living like there's nothing left to lose  
Chasing after gold mines  
Crossing the fine lines we knew  
Hold on and take a breath  
I'll be here every step  
Walking between the raindrops with you_

 _Take me now  
The world's such a crazy place  
When the walls come down  
You'll know I'm here to stay  
There's nothing I would change  
Knowing that together everything that's in our way  
We're better than alright_

 _Walking between the raindrops  
Riding the aftershock beside you  
Off into the sunset  
Living like there's nothing left to lose  
Chasing after gold mines  
Crossing the fine lines we knew  
Hold on and take a breath  
I'll be here every step  
Walking between the raindrops with you_

 _There's a smile on my face  
Knowing that together everything that's in our way  
We're better than alright_

 _Walking between the raindrops  
Riding the aftershock beside you  
Off into the sunset  
Living like there's nothing left to lose  
Chasing after gold mines  
Crossing the fine lines we knew  
Hold on and take a breath  
I'll be here every step  
Walking between the raindrops with you  
Between the raindrops with you  
Between the raindrops with you_

 _Between the raindrops with you_

 _ **Post-Note: So it's just the shortest little fluff piece today because I have been busy and actually working on other chapters entirely, but I was going through the list of songs I compiled myself months ago and this one jumped out immediately. Basically if you haven't heard the song I would definitely recommend it, and if you are a reader waiting for your prompt to be answered then no worries. We'll be backed to our regularly scheduled programming soon enough. In the meantime though I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day and thank you so much for reading!**_


	161. Castle on the Hill

_**A/N: Short AU oneshot where Emma was raised by her parents and grew up abroad near Killian and Liam. They were best friends as kids, sharing a first kiss and a first love, but then Emma has to move away to America for the last two years of high school. Not to worry though, they keep in touch and after a cute little breakdown of their last perfect day we may or may not be flash forwarding to their wedding ten years later. Inspired by multiple reader requests for 'Castle on the Hill' by Ed Sheeran.**_

"So what do you say, love, are you with me?" Killian asked, looking at Emma where she stood at the end of the lane in front of her parents' house feeling the bundle of nerves low in his gut.

God she was perfect, the picture of effortless beauty in every way as she wore her favorite sundress with the yellow flowers that matched her always bubbly spirit. Her blonde locks were pulled back away from her eyes, giving him a better view of her, and over her shoulder she was toting along her trusty pack, the bag she'd always had since they were kids and he'd gone with her and her Mum to pick a bag worth carrying day in and day out to school. It was well worn now, and covered in markings and buttons and bits of memories from past times they'd shared together, and though it didn't belong with a dress like this one, it gave Killian comfort to see her bringing it on this of all mornings.

He couldn't believe this day was actually here; Emma's last day anywhere near the place he called home had come, and he'd tried his damndest to think of a way to make it special for her. It was the reason he was currently addressing her from the seat of his elder brother Liam's motorcycle, and the reason her eyes had gone wide and she'd bit her lip in a sign of desire mingled with uncertainty. Emma likely didn't realize what that innocent reaction did that to him or what she herself had always done to him, but he tried to focus on her happiness instead of the growing sense of wanting her that was compounding through every nerve in his body.

"Killian, Liam will kill you if he finds out you took this! Are you crazy?"

 _Crazy about you,_ he thought to himself, but thank God he had a smidge more self-respect than that and refrained from saying it aloud. Instead he shrugged playing it cool and then leveling her with the truth in a less blunt and revealing way.

"It's worth the risk, love. I'd never put you in any danger and Liam will understand. Besides it's the last time we'll have this chance and this is the fastest way to the castle."

That reasoning pulled a look of melancholy to Emma's jade colored eyes, but being the strong and enduring girl Killian knew her to be she straightened her shoulders and faced their struggles head on. She didn't run from him or from this sad situation, but pushed those feelings they were both sharing of grief aside until later. They could deal with the fact that the whole bloody world was about to fall apart with her leaving after today. For now, Killian wanted one last perfect interlude, one last day to show Emma Nolan just what she meant to him and what she'd always meant since they'd first met as children.

Once she was on the back of the bike with her helmet and the red leather jacket he'd brought for her on and her arms were linked around his waist for the impending journey, Killian took off through the busy streets, maneuvering like a pro since this was hardly the first time he'd driven the bike. Of course this wasn't strictly legal seeing as he hadn't passed his testing for this particular mode of transit, but damn the rules. What was life without a little risk, and when was a better time to risk it all then when the girl he was in love with was about to leave him to go back home and probably never come back?

He shook away those thoughts, as best he could, focusing on the road before him and the feel of Emma pushed against his back, her arms holding tightly around him in a truly delicious way, but it was only when they'd parked along the green across the city limits that Emma always fancied that Killian felt himself breathe easy again. The two of them hopped off the bike and the smile on Emma's face outshone the sun and every star the universe over.

"Okay, you were right. That was awesome, and way better than the bus," Emma said as Killian gathered the basket he'd had on the back of the bike, seeing everything was just where it should be despite their bit of speeding he'd indulged in on the roads here.

Killian smiled in return as he gazed upon her again, invigorated by Emma's enthusiasm, but then he found himself battling with his desires internally. On the one hand, he wanted more than anything to take Emma's hand in his and take today that one step further than they'd gone before. They'd been best friends for years but he'd loved Emma with all his heart since the first day she popped up in his year six class with her long blonde hair and determined green eyes. She should have been petrified of a new school in a new country, but she wasn't. She was fearless and courageous and from the start he was in awe of her.

Now she'd only transformed into something more magical. She was every dream he could every envision made real, and though Killian had heard it from a hundred people that someday another girl would come along who measured up to Emma in his eyes and this would all prove to just be a young man's take on puppy love, he knew the naysayers were all wrong. Emma was it for him, and it was just his luck that she was leaving with no indication that she'd ever be moving back.

"Killian?" she asked, pulling his attention back to her and then she offered him her hand and he grinned, taking it without hesitation.

In the moment their fingers intertwined there was nothing but a raw flow of electricity and joy coursing through Killian. He'd never felt so alive, and if he weren't so familiar with the winding walk up to the manor house they were visiting (which Emma lovingly called the castle) he'd have likely made an ass of himself. But as it was they made it to their spot by the old willow tree and Killian spread out the blanket he had and shared with her the bounty he'd planned out for them.

One by one Killian took out the contents of the basket and he watched Emma's reaction as she realized it was all of her favorite things. Her eyes grew misty and her lip quivered a bit, but still she remained happy underneath it all. Killian could see that he'd done well and he was proud of that. For even if their time together would be ending soon, he had to believe there would be a way. Somehow, no matter what it took, they'd keep in touch and meet again and it would always be his wish to put a smile on her face and keep her close when he could.

Their afternoon unfolded in a perfect way where they talked about everything and nothing at all. On the knoll of the green Emma found her favorite yellow flowers, the ones that looked like the pattern on her dress, and then she collected them all for herself as they prattled on about anything that wasn't the impending Nolan family move. It was easy and effortless, but it was also gone too soon, because sure enough the sun began to sink in the sky, signaling the end of their last day as the sun set behind them.

 _It's now or never, Jones,_ Killian counseled himself when they'd returned to the blanket to take in the pink and orange hues painting the sky and the clouds about them. _Either you tell her how you feel now, or you live your whole life regretting that you were too much of a coward to do so._

"Emma, there's something I need to tell you," he started, feeling the tensions rising through him but trying to keep his head and push forward despite the fear of this girl who was far too good for him rejecting him. "It's something I've been trying to say for a while but… oh bloody hell I can't seem to… what I'm trying to say is -,"

Before Killian could actually articulate himself, however, Emma had moved in, closing the remaining distance between them and kissing him. Again she was the leader, the one marking their path to the excellence Killian had always associated with Emma. But this kiss was better than anything he'd ever known. It was everything to him, the best thing that had ever been and ever would be aside from Emma herself, and when they finally pulled apart a few seconds later and Killian was looking at her again he didn't know how to put that feeling into words.

"I've been waiting forever to do that," Emma whispered, a piece of her golden hair falling in front of her face as she did thanks to the slight breeze coasting along the hillside. "I didn't want to wait anymore."

"I'm glad you didn't, love," Killian said as he tucked the strand of hair behind her ear and watched the shiver that came when his fingertips brushed against her skin. "I'm only sorry we had to wait at all."

With those words between them they spent a few more hours wrapped up together, learning each other in a more intimate way than they ever had before and taking heated kisses further in that teenager-like way. It was all relatively innocent, but to Killian it was the actualization of everything he'd ever wanted. Finally he had his Emma in his arms where she rightly belonged, and she told him that she was his now and always, but they had to get back, and when they were finally there at the front walk of her house again he couldn't bear to let her go.

"I don't want to say goodbye," Emma said softly, the sound of the tears that were threatening to slip evident in her voice, and as much as Killian was hurting, all he wanted was to ease her worries and make sure she knew that he'd meant what he said. They would be tied together forever, no matter what may come, or what life may through in their path.

"Then we won't, Emma. Whatever happens this isn't over – our story isn't over. We'll find our way back to each other someday, somehow. And there won't be a day that goes by when I don't think of you, love. You have my word."

"Promise?" Emma asked, the first of her tears slipping down her cheeks and Killian's throat tightened as he moved to brush them away.

"Promise," he replied before kissing her again and cementing that vow for this day and all his days still to come.

….

 _10 Years Later_

Curled up into Killian's embrace as they swayed together on the dance floor at the reception being held in their honor, Emma couldn't help but feel a resounding sense of joy coursing through her.

Today was easily the best day she'd ever known, because _finally_ , after years and years of waiting and hoping and wishing for this moment to come, she was Emma Nolan no more. Now she was Emma _Jones_ , wife of the man who'd stolen her heart when she was just a girl and he was just a boy on the outskirts of London raising hell and risking everything for the chance to feel alive and adventurous.

It meant everything to Emma to be here after waiting so long, but the road to getting to this beautiful state of bliss hadn't always been easy. Especially at first, after their one perfect day where they'd both admitted how they truly felt after keeping the secret so long, Emma had felt adrift in the world, struggling to adapt to life back in the place she once called home without her best friend and favorite person at her side. She'd missed Killian terribly and had embodied every heartbroken, lovesick stereotype of a teenage girl crossed in love. But even when he was an ocean away, Killian found a way to build her up and give her the strength to keep going and to always be the best version of herself no matter what.

Despite all odds and the cards being stacked against them, Emma and Killian had made it through those long two years apart. They'd never lost touch in that time they still had left at school between occasional visits and near constant phone calls and letters, and though she'd nearly shocked her parents to an early grave, Emma didn't hesitate to choose a college halfway across the country when the time came because it was where Killian would be going too. Emma had had enough separation from her true love to last one lifetime, and ever since that first day of freshman orientation when they'd been reunited for real Emma and Killian hadn't had to go even one more week without each other.

"You're doing it again, my love," Killian whispered to her, calling out her internal replaying of their whole story in their mind as they danced there amongst the party of people. Dozens of eyes were on them, taking in the bride and groom and whispering amongst themselves about childhood romances solidified forever, but Emma didn't pay them any mind. Instead she kept all of her focus on her husband, and she grinned at the thought that she could finally call Killian that at last. 

"I can't seem to help it," Emma replied, gazing up at him and meeting his blue eyes that were alit with all of his own happiness and wonder on this glorious day. "I mean after all we're at the scene of the crime so to speak."

And they really were, because after pulling dozens of strings and calling in every favor they possibly could, Emma's parents had managed to get use of the 'castle' where Emma and Killian had confessed how they felt to each other ages ago. Their special place had become the sight of the most important day of their lives, and Emma couldn't imagine a better spot to vow to love and to hold and to cherish Killian all the days of her life. It had been remarkable to share this moment with him here, and it only added another gorgeous layer of history and meaning to this place she'd always loved since she was just a kid.

"This might be the place where I first admitted to you how I felt, Emma, but it's hardly the place I fell in love with you. I was yours far earlier than that day as you well know."

"I do," Emma murmured as her hand came up to cup his cheek and her eyes took in all the sincerity on his handsome face. Killian had gown so much from the boy he used to be when they first met, and to say her husband was sinfully attractive was an understatement, but Emma could still see traces of the Killian she'd first fallen for when she was considered 'too young' to truly understand love. "But I don't think it would have been as romantic a ceremony if we got married in Mrs. Turner's grade six classroom. I mean just imagine cramming all these people in there and my mother trying to decorate up to her 'standards.'"

Killian chuckled at Emma's joke, his hand tracing over the soft ivory silk of her wedding dress at the curve of her hip, warming her through as he did. Then he leaned down and took her lips in what had to be their hundredth kiss of the day. The kiss left her a little breathless even if it was a relatively innocent embrace but Killian was always doing that to her, always sending her spirits into overdrive. It was that connection and that never ending sense of peace and adventure that he combined into one exhilarating feeling that had always proved to Emma that their love was more than mere chance. The two of them were really meant to be and she would never turn her back on her destiny, not when it was this amazing.

"Truth is, love, we could have said 'I do' anywhere and it wouldn't have made any real difference to me. All that matters is that we're here, and after all those years of trying to make my way to you, you're really mine, just as much as I am yours."

For all the things that had changed in their lives, this one element had remained the same: Killian still had a way of making Emma feel like she was everything without even trying. His powers of articulation had improved some since the first time he tried to say he loved her, but the feeling in her chest and the resolute knowledge that she was adored by him packed all the same punch. In his heart of hearts Killian valued nothing and no one above her and he made no attempt to hide that. He put her first each and every day, and that was good because Emma felt the same way and she tried to always emulate him in sharing the best parts of herself and choosing hope every time.

"I love you," Emma whispered, knowing it wasn't near enough, but that Killian would understand just how much she meant it all the same.

"And I love you, Emma. Always and forever."

And with that solemn promise, the two of them enjoyed the rest of their night at this castle on the hill dancing and mingling with their family and friends before slipping away to the new home they'd purchased not too far away to build the life they'd always wanted. And as the years went by and their family grew, Emma and Killian never let go of their memories here or the magic of this place, sharing it with their children and their children's children along with the story of a boy and a girl who'd fallen in love as kids only to build a life long love that would last for all eternity.

….

 _When I was six years old I broke my leg_

 _I was running from my brother and his friends_

 _And tasted the sweet perfume of the mountain grass I rolled down_

 _I was younger then, take me back to when I_

 _Found my heart and broke it here_

 _Made friends and lost them through the years_

 _And I've not seen the roaring fields in so long, I know I've grown_

 _But I can't wait to go home_

 _I'm on my way_

 _Driving at ninety down those country lanes_

 _Singing to "Tiny Dancer"_

 _And I miss the way you make me feel, and it's real_

 _We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill_

 _Fifteen years old and smoking hand-rolled cigarettes_

 _Running from the law through the backfields and getting drunk with my friends_

 _Had my first kiss on a Friday night, I don't reckon that I did it right_

 _But I was younger then, take me back to when_

 _We found weekend jobs, when we got paid_

 _We'd buy cheap spirits and drink them straight_

 _Me and my friends have not thrown up in so long, oh how we've grown_

 _But I can't wait to go home_

 _I'm on my way_

 _Driving at ninety down those country lanes_

 _Singing to "Tiny Dancer"_

 _And I miss the way you make me feel, and it's real_

 _We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill_

 _Over the castle on the hill_

 _Over the castle on the hill_

 _One friend left to sell clothes_

 _One works down by the coast_

 _One had two kids but lives alone_

 _One's brother overdosed_

 _One's already on his second wife_

 _One's just barely getting by_

 _But these people raised me and I can't wait to go home_

 _And I'm on my way, I still remember_

 _This old country lanes_

 _When we did not know the answers_

 _And I miss the way you make me feel, it's real_

 _We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill_

 _Over the castle on the hill_

 _Over the castle on the hill_

 _ **Post-Note: Thank you all so much for reading, and to the readers (because there were three of you) who requested this song thank you thank you thank you! I love this song and Ed Sheeran and it was a real joy to write this. I honestly could have mad this a whole multichapter fic too, and I still think there will be a day when I write one based on Ed Sheeran songs, but that will have to be a project for another day. Anyway I hope that you all enjoyed and that you have a lovely rest of your weekend!**_


	162. True Colors

_**A/N: This is a highly specific reader-requested scene I got ages ago that adds to the Neverland arc from Killian's POV. It is supposed to mirror the moment Emma and Neal have at the end of 3x7 but culminates in another CS kiss in Neverland. It would fit into cannon right around the beginning of 3x8 between the time when they retrieve the shadow in Dark Hollow and when they rescue Henry. It's also tied into a separate reader request for the song 'True Colors' by Cyndi Lauper.**_

"So what you're saying is we're blocked in… again?" Emma asked with her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive stance as she stared down Regina.

The Queen had just announced that the overgrown forest up ahead, which they all thought would be their way into Pan's camp, was guarded by a magical barrier that couldn't be cut through without consequence of death. The news was a significant blow to their plan, and it represented yet another hurdle they'd have to face to find Emma's boy again.

Killian felt for Emma as she heard the news, not because she gave anything concrete away about how badly it hurt to hear, but because underneath the layers and layers of protections she had erected around her heart, there was still pain there. Killian could see a flicker in her jade colored eyes of fear and of sadness, and though he doubted any of the others could sense it, Emma's feelings of hope that they could actually get back to her son were taking a hit with every block in their path. She was starting to give in to the pressure, but damn if she'd let anyone know it.

"But how is that possible? We've followed the maps. We stuck to the course. We even have Tink's inside information on how to break into Pan's compound. How does he keep blocking us?" Emma's mother asked, looking to her husband for an answer the prince could in no way provide since he was just as flummoxed as the rest of them.

"He keeps beating us because it's _his_ island and we're helpless to do anything but play his game! Not everything can be solved with a healthy dose of hope and self delusion, or hadn't you two figured that out yet?" Regina tossed back, beginning to lose her temper and show the remnants of the Evil Queen she claimed she was trying to put behind her.

This lobbed attack on Emma's parents whole way of life upped the hostility amongst all parties currently present and Killian could sense the anger and the fracturing of the team dynamic that they'd all formed in recent days growing ever more present. But he didn't give a damn if Snow and Charming's feelings were hurt or if Regina had a fit about how niceness never got a villain anywhere. All that mattered was putting out this fire for the sake of the woman Killian was here for at all. He knew in his heart that Emma wanted – nay _needed_ – unity, and the more fighting that happened the more stress she'd take on her own shoulders which Killian couldn't stand for.

"The way I see it we have two choices," Killian said, with all eyes including Emma's landing on him as he unexpectedly inserted himself in the family discussion and then pressed forward. "We can either stand here arguing about the same tired rubbish, or we do what needs to be done and make an actual plan to get the boy back. But we won't accomplish the latter if we're wasting all our energy fighting it out amongst ourselves."

"Hook's right," Emma said after a moment, and the words were like a shot to the heart for Killian. She agreed with him, and the look they exchanged of appreciation for each others agreement made him actually feel like he'd been useful to her which was all he really wanted. "We have nothing if we let Pan break us all apart, and I'm not about to lose my son because we couldn't all come together."

With Emma's thoughts on the matter out there all of the others were quick to agree unlike when Killian had proposed essentially the same thing. But Killian didn't mind the lack of credit as the not so merry band of rescuers all set about to make camp for hopefully one last night. Truth be told he only cared for Emma's good opinion anyway, because she was the one keeping him here.

It was strange but Killian felt an already present and enduring loyalty to this woman he'd only just met and in his heart there was a want to do right by her. It was confusing and a shock to his system since he hadn't felt anything like this for years and years. Suddenly his world was about more than getting his revenge. His new wish was to be good enough to stand at Emma's side, a prospect that was too lofty to ever deem probable, but even if logic and reason dictated they could never come to be, Killian still felt the trickling of hope every time he was near her. She was bringing light into a world of darkness, and he was growing more addicted to that brightness and the sense of color and vibrancy that seemed to follow Emma Swan wherever she went.

" _Let me be clear: If I had to choose someone I choose Henry. He's the only love I have room for in my life."_

Those words uttered by Emma just hours before had sent a sharp pang through Killian when she threw them out in a fit of anger. She'd been furious at him and at Neal for their actions in the hollow, understandably so, and Killian had felt nothing but shame in the face of her resentments. Here he was pining after a woman and playing games with Neal to get into the man he believed was his competition's head while Emma was genuinely hurting. Her son, the boy she loved more than anything and the one piece of real happiness she had in her life, was missing. And what was Killian doing? He was making her life harder by trying to get the upper hand for her affections. It was wrong and selfish and those blunt words from Emma had been all he needed to wake up to reality and to set him back to that determined state of trying to do good even when goodness was so foreign a concept to him now.

It really was remarkable though that Emma could even tempt him into trying and be a better man at all. For centuries Killian had lived his life as a pirate, content to wade the murky waters of an outlaw's existence and make his own rules outside the realm of kindness and expectation. He'd seen real darkness in the world and he'd taken part in it more than a little along the way, to the point where very little could surprise him. After hundreds of years of surviving just for the chance to have revenge on the monster that had wronged him, Killian had seen just about everything that the world could throw his way good or bad. He'd faced countless storms, bested every other obstacle that stood between him and the vengeance he craved, but the days and nights blurred together into a mass of forgettable excess. Nothing stood out. Nothing caught his eye, at least not until Emma.

In many ways it still shocked him just how strongly he was reacting to her. For actual centuries his heart had hardened and he'd erected all kinds of defenses against anything that might deter him from his one life's mission, but this brilliant, stubborn, infuriating blonde beauty had a way of sneaking past all of that without giving a damn for all the damage she was causing to his usual way of life. Emma was making him feel again, and even if the sting of emotion was guilt like the kind he'd felt today after his ridiculous outbursts with Neal, it was still so refreshing to feel anything other than a blinding sense of hate low in his gut.

Casting another of the frequent glances he found himself stealing of her from where she stood across camp, Killian had to admit that Emma Swan was pushing him, challenging him, and demanding more from him than anyone or anything had in maybe his whole life. And the craziest part of it was she did it with this sense of command that wasn't authoritative even if it was absolute. She was earnest and honest and raw in a way Killian used to know but had long since shied away from. Emma might not admit it but she was a creature of feeling herself, bearing the weight of the whole bloody world on her shoulders and experiencing it all far too keenly, but she didn't bow, and she didn't break. She held strong with her hands on her hips and her head held high, pushing forward where anyone else would throw in the towel.

He had seen Emma stand toe to toe with danger incarnate before and not back down for lesser things than this, but what Pan was doing now was risking her son, the child she loved and the one person it seemed she'd actually opened her heart up to. With her lad Killian could see that Emma was more giving of herself, and though she might have parents who loved her and a chance to rekindle an old flame with Neal, the thought of which made Killian's stomach churn in a sickened way, it was Henry that kept her going. He was her light in the darkness and Killian knew just how powerful light could be, for he was a man who'd been in the depths of the dark for ages until he'd fallen into the path of Emma and started to inch closer to the sun once more.

"It's not like you to be so quiet, Hook," a voice said behind him and Killian didn't need to turn to know it was Neal. The hard edge of his tone was tell enough, but Killian bit back his instinct to tell Neal to bugger off. He wouldn't fall back into the trap of fighting with this man again, not when Henry was still lost on this island, but it was difficult to take the high road when Neal continued with another barely veiled accusation. "You're up to something."

Biting back a scowl and hoping to maintain his usual unaffected air, Killian swallowed down the instinctive retort for Neal to stop being so paranoid and leave him well enough alone. He could have succumbed to those darker impulses, and Gods knew time had taught him how to be as ruthless or cutting with his words as with his actions, but Killian caught sight of Emma across the camp again and this time she was looking their way, so he shrugged off the urges to put Neal in his place and he answered the only way he knew how.

"Forgive me, mate. I was under the impression that no one really needed any more of my particular brand of wit this evening. Was I wrong? Because I'm more than happy to oblige if you'd rather."

A sound that bordered on a laugh came from where Emma was sitting across the way, but as Killian tried to slyly look her over and see her reaction for himself she was already busy concealing it. Her eyes were downcast and she'd silenced herself once more, but at the corner of her lips Killian swore he say the tiniest indication of a smile and his heart hammered in his chest because of it. Damn that felt good to see, and honestly he'd sign up right now to the be the island's official court jester just to keep Emma's spirits from the darkness where they'd turned.

"Just know I'm watching you, Hook," Neal said before ducking closer to whisper his words so there was no chance of anyone overhearing. "I know you and I know you haven't changed from the pirate you always were. So whatever your motive is with Emma, whatever you think is in it for you, just know I'm onto you. And I wont let you hurt her."

Neal said the words and it was like a bitterly cold wave washed across Killian. There it was, the blatant reminder that he was a villain, a no good pirate with no right being here. At least most of the time on this excursion that had been only stepped around or mocked in a way that left some levity in sarcasm, but what was he to say? Yes he was a pirate. Yes he'd done terrible things and not given a damn for consequences or fairness or justice in the least. But right now he was a mix of angry and regretful and all he could think was that he needed distance from everyone else. So as Neal headed back into the fray of camp, Killian cut through the overgrown brush until he found a place to gather his thoughts away from the others.

When he finally had that comfort of solitude, Killian let his mind wander on everything that had been said and everything he'd been grappling with their whole time here. On the one hand Killian was enraged by the thought that anyone would box him into a corner, especially Neal. After all he'd done to Emma, Neal was going to stand here and cast judgment? The man had left this woman if Killian understood correctly. He'd abandoned this all too rare creature who was good and kind and strong and stubborn, to fend for herself when she needed him most. Killian didn't know every gory detail but he did know that Emma was with child at the time and more than vulnerable and Neal had just left. He'd walked out on her like nothing happened and then came back all these years later expecting to be accepted. Killian might have committed grave sins indeed, but none of his misdeeds had ever harmed Emma in such a cutting and insurmountable way. At least he had that to hold onto.

But on the other hand, there was this level of remorse that was brimming to the surface in Killian's heart. It was a symptom of this whole allowing himself to feel thing, as if once he'd taken interest in Emma he had no choice but to face some of the bitter truth of his past. He _was_ just a pirate, and where being a pirate had always given him pride before, he now looked back and was starting to hate the man he was. What had he really done with his life? What had he done for anyone who wasn't him? Nothing, at least not compared to Emma or her family who barged into any given situation with the one hope of saving people and doing good now and always.

"This seat taken?" Emma asked just a few moments later, taking Killian completely by surprise thanks to her expert levels of silent sneaking.

"No, Swan. It's yours if you wish for it," he replied and the ghost of that smile appeared again, teasing his heart with the feistier and more vibrant woman lurking under the surface. He could imagine her in a time of peace when they weren't grappling with such life or death conundrums and all he wanted was to see her that way. For Emma Swan might be capable of handling the worst the Gods could send her way with grace and capability, but she deserved better. She deserved to be free of this pain once and for all and he just wanted the chance to see her enjoying in such a life.

"So about earlier, back at the hollow…" Emma began, looking a bit awkward as she tried to find the words she wanted to say.

"You were right love. I was totally out of line. I let my ego get in the way of doing right by your boy. That's a mistake I don't intend to make again. You have my word on that, Swan."

Emma's eyes softened at the promise and the acceptance he saw shining through felt almost magical to Killian. For better or worse Emma was learning to trust him now, and though his word as a pirate might not carry much weight with many people, it seemed to be enough for her. It was hard to describe how much that meant to him, but to have even a tiny bit of Emma believing in him felt better than most anything he'd ever known, even rivaling that soul searing kiss they'd shared just a few days before.

"I was going to actually say I'm sorry. Not for what I said, but for how I said it. Henry _is_ my priority and he always will be, but I didn't mean to make it sound like you haven't helped along the way. Maybe today was a bad day, and maybe none of us were at our best, but we wouldn't have gotten this far without you, Hook. _I_ wouldn't have gotten this far without you."

Killian didn't know exactly what to say to that. He had never in his wildest imaginings believed Emma would in any way apologize. After all she was completely in the right before, but the fact that she'd approached him and said anything at all spoke volumes to him. If she was regretting the harsh tone of her earlier words then maybe they hadn't been totally true. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance that when this was all behind them Emma could have room for more than her son in her heart.

"There's no apology necessary, love, and as for my help I'm just happy to be of service in whatever way I can be."

In the face of his words Emma gazed upon him with the same curious kind of look he'd seen a time or two while they were here in Neverland. There was a sense of questioning there and searching for something, but in her green eyes, underneath the fatigue of this journey and the strain of their fight against Pan, there was something so much more alluring. There was no revulsion from him, and though it was slightly discomforting to be so on display for anyone to see, Killian couldn't dislike the sensations that came when Emma looked at him this way. It was different with her, as if she had this inexplicable gift to dig beneath the surface and root out the man he'd once been or could have been or might be if he just gave goodness a real and honest try.

The silence stretched between them a bit longer than he was expecting, and Killian was about to question whether something was wrong. The look in her eyes didn't speak to anger or frustration, but he greedily wanted to know everything about Emma. Observing her could tell him much of what he wanted, but sometimes he needed more and now was one of those moments. After all, he'd laid his cards out on the table this afternoon before they'd made it into that gods forsaken hollow. He'd told her that he intended to fight for her and to win her heart, and they'd never had a chance to discuss it. Perhaps she was uncomfortable with that forwardness, or anxious that he'd push for too much too soon, but before he could inquire as to the reason for her silent ponderings, Emma closed the space between them and pressed another kiss to his lips.

While this brush of her lips against his was hardly the heated and no holds barred exchange from a few days ago, it packed all the same power of that kiss before, and in some ways even more. Because after everything that had happened it felt like, despite what Emma had said earlier, she was making a choice. Emma Swan wasn't a woman for games. She wouldn't string a man along just for the sake of doing so, and for her to make this move in the midst of all that had transpired today and everything still to come was a statement. It was a sign that he wasn't misguided in believing that there was something really worth fighting for here, and though Killian hated the moment when she pulled back and away from him once more, he felt the tingle of where her lips had been on his and a warmth more comforting than a barrel of the realm's finest rum coursing through him.

"Not that I minded in the least, love, but what, might I ask, was that particular display in honor of?" Killian asked and Emma grinned, her smile almost at a hundred percent even though they were still trapped on this miserable island. In his book that was a tremendous feat indeed and he felt even more so like he could conquer the world than he did when this miraculous woman had kissed him.

"For being you, and for having my back while we've been here every step of the way. You've shown your true colors through all of this, Hook, and I want you to know I see that even if others might not be so lucky."

Killian was tempted to say that he'd always be on her side no matter where they were stationed be it here or back in her home port of Storybrooke, but he was stunned by her remarks on his true nature. This level of acceptance was unexpected but he cherished it more than anything, and the only thing he could regret about this surreally perfect moment was the part where the ambient hum of the camp behind them increased and their private interlude was broken by the realities at hand.

But despite its being over so soon, and despite the fact that any feelings he may be harboring had to be put on hold for the time being, Killian didn't really mind the interruption. For he was certain now that it was just a matter of time before Emma was successful in finding her boy, and when that happened and all of them were safe once more Killian was going to do everything in his power to show her that his earlier promises were right. He would win her heart, he would prove himself worthy, and he'd keep being the man that Emma Swan could see in him no matter what it took to get there.

…

 _You with the sad eyes  
Don't be discouraged  
Oh I realize  
Its hard to take courage  
In a world full of people  
You can lose sight of it all  
And the darkness inside you  
Can make you feel so small_

 _But I see your true colors  
Shining through  
I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
Your true colors  
True colors are beautiful  
Like a rainbow_

 _Show me a smile then  
Don't be unhappy, can't remember  
When I last saw you laughing  
If this world makes you crazy  
And you've taken all you can bear  
You call me up  
Because you know I'll be there_

 _And I'll see your true colors  
Shining through  
I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
Your true colors  
True colors are beautiful  
Like a rainbow_

 _If this world makes you crazy  
And you've taken all you can bear  
You call me up  
Because you know I'll be there_

 _And I'll see your true colors  
Shining through  
I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show_

 _Your true colors  
True colors  
True colors  
Shining through_

 _I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
Your true colors  
True colors are beautiful  
Like a rainbow_

 _ **Post-Note: So thank you first and foremost to both lovely readers who floated prompts for this particular chapter. I always love a reason to write more Neverland scenes, and this is such a classic song it totally belonged in the mixtape in my opinion. I also have been kind of slacking a little in my updates to this collection, but I promise there are still more chapters to come. I have such a long list of song ideas and trope requests still that this mixtape will have a nice long life. I'm just a lot busier this summer than I expected to be. But nevertheless there is more fluff and cuteness in store and I thank you all so much for reading and your continued support! Hope you have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	163. Far Away

_**A/N: Modern AU prompted by a reader for a chapter based off of the music video for 'Far Away' by Nickelback. For those of you who haven't seen it, it follows a couple where the guy is a firefighter and the girl is scared as he gets called on a run but I'm changing it slightly so it isn't too close to my multi-chapter fic 'False Alarms'. In this story Killian is a coast guard member and he gets called into the fray of a really big storm out on the ocean. It'll still have the same level of angst as the video, but not to worry, I always end with fluff and this will be no different!**_

Waking from a state of rest without a single sense of trepidation or worry on her mind was a relatively new occurrence in Emma Swan's life.

For a long time Emma had braved each new day head on, but she always went in hesitating and wary of all the ways that things could go wrong. Life for her was really about one thing, survival, and Emma knew that the moment she took her eye off the prize was the moment she'd break the fragile state of safety and security she'd built for herself over the past few years.

That may have been a highly cynical way to approach the world, but as a person who'd spent her whole childhood in the foster system and who knew the real darkness that the world had to offer it was the only way to go. For Emma's peace of mind she needed control, and the surest way of losing it was by giving into distractions or wishing for things to be better than they already were. Instead she was practical, and if being a realist meant she was guarded from the good things life had to offer so be it. It was better to not get hurt than open herself up to heartbreak. At least that's what she had thought for a long _long_ time, but in the past few months she'd come to learn that maybe there could be more than she always imagined.

It had taken something huge to inspire Emma to such levels of hope, and the trigger for her new outlook on the world and what it had to offer was all thanks to one man, a man who had broken past her barriers and made himself so necessary to her happiness that Emma had no choice but to let him in. His name was Killian Jones, and he was unexpected in every way but also exactly what Emma had needed most of all.

It was Killian that brought Emma this sense of peace this afternoon after a lazy Sunday spent in bed tangled up together. His warm embrace and his arms enveloping her were anchors to a peace she'd never known before meeting him that she'd come to truly love. They'd spent the whole day together after a night wrapped up in each other too, and though all of this was happening despite Emma's past of avoiding long-term intimacy, this wasn't all together uncommon for them. She and Killian were constantly treading new ground together, and they had been doing that from the moment they first met.

Emma actually felt a blush creep over her cheeks as she pictured the happenings of the last twenty-four hours and she felt a rush of warmth coursing through her at the memories of all they had done. The chemistry between them was off the charts, but this was so much more than just sex to her. It was a start for Emma of the first real relationship she'd ever opened herself up to and the payoff, at least so far, was so much richer and more fulfilling than she'd ever dared to hope.

 _I could only ever do this with him,_ Emma thought to herself as she turned around with the utmost care so she could look at Killian, and when her eyes cast upon him she felt her heart filling with even more positive feelings.

Killian was always handsome with his dark hair, piercing cerulean eyes, and chiseled jaw. Truth be told he was way too attractive for her to handle most of the time, and Emma was always feeling like she was under a sort of spell when he flashed that cocky grin of his her way or wooed her with that sexy as sin accent he had. But right now, with the peace of sleep upon him, Killian was almost too much to handle. He was gorgeous, plain and simple, and Emma couldn't help when her hand came over his chest and her fingertips ran over the space where his heart lay. She wanted to claim a piece of that heart, and though they had yet to say the words, Emma knew deep down in her soul that she had it just as she had him.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming, Swan," Killian said sleepily and Emma smiled, knowing that despite her private musings she hadn't been as stealthy as she once thought. It was foolish of her to think she could be. After all, Killian was always proving over and over again that he was tuned into all things Emma. He probably sensed the moment she woke up and just played along to humor her. "Tell me I really do have the most remarkable woman alive in my arms right now."

"You're not dreaming," Emma said with her voice clogged with emotion.

She still couldn't understand how a man could be so sweet underneath his charm and swagger, but then Killian opened his eyes and looked at her like she was everything he'd ever wanted and Emma was even more overwhelmed. The thing about Killian was that he didn't play games and he didn't try and hide from what he felt. Everything was etched right there on his face plain as day, and Emma was so attracted to that kind of courage that she found herself changing for the better in the face of it.

"Forgive me, love, but I find myself wanting just a bit of proof," Killian said with that silky bedroom tone as he moved above her, shifting their once warm and mild space of sweetness to charged and sultry in an instant.

In seconds Emma was with him in that state of need, wanting to expand on everything they'd been chasing together this weekend and kissing him with the same renewed sense of passion that flared every time they got to this point. But before much could happen beyond basic perusals and the first hints of something more, an alarm sounded from Killian's bedside table that pulled them both from the moment.

That sound was one that Emma knew pretty well at this point, but every time it came it sent her stomach dropping. It was Killian's pager to report to base, but since Killian was currently off the clock this didn't bode well. He was a Lieutenant commander in the coast guard, and from what Killian had told her, he was part of a unit that specialized in recovery and had seen a lot of rather scary moments. So for him to be called in like this, it had to mean something big had happened.

"Bloody hell," Killian cursed and he looked genuinely distraught at their interruption and like he might say 'screw it' and ignore the call. But that wasn't Killian. Part of what made Emma love him so much was his sense of honor, and she knew he had to go, even if she hated the thought more than anything.

"Go on," she whispered, pressing one last kiss to his lips. "I'll be here when you get back."

"You promise, love?" Killian asked before letting her up and she smiled, running her fingertips along his jaw. She hadn't meant to make that claim, especially when she had no idea how long he would be gone, but it felt right and it actually calmed something in Emma to think that as soon as he was safe again she'd be here waiting for him.

"I promise."

That seemed to be enough to prompt Killian into motion, and he jumped out of bed, reaching for his clothes and covering himself up from her view. It was a shame really, because Emma loved to look at him, but then Killian called her out for her lustful gazes and made her laugh. He was always doing that, always brightening her world, but when he looked at his phone to see what the code he was being called in for meant, his face fell.

"What is it?" Emma asked and Killian shook his head before looking back at her.

"It's the storm, love. It's turning far worse than they originally predicted and not all the ships set to harbor are back yet. Could be a long night."

Emma came up to her knees on the bed and ran her hand over his chest again, trying to ground herself in a moment that terrified her. She _really_ didn't like the fact that Killian's job was heading straight for danger in moments like this, but she had to trust in him and have faith that it would all be okay. After all, Killian made her a believer, and she was going to live up to that right now if it killed her.

"You made me promise to stay, but I need a promise in return. I need you to promise you'll come back to me," she pleaded, her tone not hiding her worry at all, but openly seeking reassurance from the man who meant so much to her.

"I give you my word, Emma, that I will _always_ come back for you. Always."

"Good," Emma whispered before kissing him once more and watching him walk out the door, taking her heart along with him.

She heard him a few moments later shut the front door to the house behind him and his pick up truck rumbled in the driveway before heading down the road. And when it was gone and she was left in the quiet, Emma really began to feel the weight of the situation bearing down on her. She was in the dark right now. She had absolutely no control over what would come to pass tonight, but she had to pull through this. It was the only way to keep a hold of any of the happiness she'd only just been feeling, and though it was different from her usual M.O., Emma was determined to have hope even if things seemed bleak right now.

That being said she couldn't stay in this bed all night doing nothing. The only way to rise above this was to keep busy, and Emma did just that as she quickly showered and got dressed, intending to do some mindless work like attempting to clean or cook something while Killian was gone. Luckily for Emma though, distraction of another kind soon came with a knock on the door. Emma was surprised at the visitor, but also curious as to who would be coming to the house at this time of night, and she was so relieved to see the face of her best friend Ruby when she opened the door.

"Hey," Emma greeted easily, with a new sense of calm settling over her now that she was no longer alone.

"Hey back," Ruby said with a smile that though bright was dulled a little bit, probably due to underlying stress.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked, hoping her friend wouldn't take offense. Honestly Emma was glad to have her, but she was wondering how Ruby had known to come here and not to Emma's place.

"Same as you. Waiting for my man to stop scaring me half to death with the crazy, but admittedly admirable, heroics," Ruby said casually and then she nodded towards Emma's car that was in the driveway. "The bug is visible from Graham's place so I guessed that Killian pulled the same move on you that Graham pulled on me. He asked you to stay, right?"

"He did," Emma admitted as she let Ruby in and she took one of the bags her friend was holding from her grasp. It was filled with three bottles of wine, and when Ruby placed the other bag on the counter and began emptying it, she saw that that one was full of comfort food from the local diner. "But if Graham asked you to stay then you broke his promise."

" _Technically_ he made me promise to be at his place when he got back, and I figure that shouldn't be a problem. Call it a perk of his living right next door to Killian. He never even has to know I left, and I get to not go absolutely mental all by my lonesome."

Emma felt that all too keenly, and in truth she was so glad that Ruby was here. She took her friend's hand in hers and squeezed tightly, trying to say with the simple gesture all she was feeling without getting too far into it. This was a scary situation after all, and even since Ruby had walked inside, the winds had begun to blow harder and harder outside and rain had started falling from the dark, foreboding clouds above.

"So what do we do, then?" Emma asked, turning her gaze to all of the provisions Ruby had brought to share and questioning if she could even muster an appetite given her current anxious state.

"What we always do on our worst days – drown our sorrows with cheap wine and chocolate and pray there's some B-list romcom marathon on TV to keep us occupied."

Emma laughed at the proposition and it felt good to do since only minutes ago the concept of laughter felt impossible. She was still worried, of course, but it was easier to be brave when she wasn't doing it by herself, and even if Emma's thoughts would remain with Killian until he was back with her again, it couldn't hurt to watch a sappy tale about a guy and a girl who fell in live despite the odds and in some silly way.

For a while this tactic worked as well as any plan could. As expected, Emma's mind kept wandering from the movie before them to thoughts of Killian, but when the thoughts grew dark or dangerous Emma did her best to shake them away. It was easier said than done, but one helpful tool in the fight against pessimism was a gift from Killian himself, a pendant that he'd given her a few weeks back on their anniversary that was totally unique and totally them. It was a silver piece with a swan and an anchor linked together, and right now it was a perfect reminder that Killian cared for her and that he was a man of his word. He had promised her that he would come back and she had to believe he would.

"You really love him, don't you?" Ruby asked at one point when Emma had long ago stopped watching the heroine of the movie's breakdown about whether love could be true. She looked up to Ruby and nodded, not bothering to hide how she felt.

"Yeah, I do," she whispered and Ruby grinned widely at that before coming over to the couch with Emma and hugging her tight.

"Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?" Ruby asked and Emma rolled her eyes, loving and hating the way Ruby was being right now. "I mean it Emma. I know we're dating military men and their big and bad and totally kick ass, but _you_ just might be the bravest person I know."

"Then why don't I feel that way right now?" Emma asked seriously and Ruby looked up at her before imparting a critical piece of wisdom.

"Because even if it's fast, Killian is a part of you now. He has your heart and your hope with him tonight out in that storm, and until he comes back safe you won't feel whole again."

"Jeez, if I knew this was love…" Emma trailed off, not able to finish the joke she had in mind because she just didn't feel anything like regret when it came to giving Killian her heart. No matter the cost, loving him was worth it and it always would be.

"You would have done it all over again anyway?" Ruby asked and Emma nodded, admitting to herself and her best friend that she would. Because even if things were hard right now, the relationship she and Killian had forged already was so worth fighting for no matter what.

Before Emma could articulate that though, interruption came from a news report cutting into the channel they'd been watching, and at the words on the bar underneath the news anchors, Emma's heart dropped. There, in big white letters was the breaking news: COAST GUARD ELITE TEAM FACE EXTREME CONDITIONS WHILE SCOURING HARBOR FOR MISSING FAMILY.

"Oh shit," Ruby said. Emma couldn't respond but she was thinking the exact same thing and praying with everything in her that some how Killian would get through this and get back to her as soon as he could.

….

When people thought to themselves of chaos, it was usually in the abstract. The average person never walked into the belly of pure havoc, but for Killian this was a part of the job. He'd trained for storms like this one for years, and he'd faced a few in his time here with the men and women in his unit. But this storm… well this was a bloody bastard of a hurricane with unpredictable swells, winds cutting through everything, and enough rain to keep visibility problematically low.

In any other moment Killian might have contemplated how different the sea he loved looked now than on a normal day. Gone was the serenity or peace he cherished about the ocean and in its wake there was only the hectic mess of Mother Nature blasting the coast with conditions no man or woman should ever think of braving. Unfortunately for Killian and his team though, there were people out here, people who needed their help and who from the looks of the conditions out here did not have much time left.

A family of six had checked in with the harbormaster when voyaging out for the day earlier. They were vacationers from what the charter said, and they were mostly unfamiliar with this area. So when they didn't come back at any point this evening before the storm set in that sounded alarms, especially when command was told that the youngest aboard the boat was a lad of only five. Killian could only imagine what that family was going through, if they were still afloat given all the tumult around them.

"How much time do we have, Scarlet?" Killian asked one of his peers who was currently in command of steering this rescue chopper and who had navigated them through the search and rescue for the past hour. Will looked glum as he responded.

"With the weather this bad? I'd say ten minutes at most before we have to head in. We're taking air assault on all sides from the down drafts and if we go much further out there's no chance of us making it back to land."

"Damn it," Killian said, casting his gaze over to Tink, their team's resident scopes expert and tracker. She was currently using every register in her power to search the seascape all around them for signs of life, but from the grimace on her face she wasn't making much headway either.

"Probably not the best time to mention that coms are still down, right?" Graham joked and Killian cast a glare to a man he considered his brother. Leave it to Humbert to try and bring levity to a literal life or death situation. "Right, got it. Not mentioning."

"I think it's time for that uncanny instinct of yours, Cap," Tink said then, shaking her head at the lack of feedback on her end. "We're pretty much flying blind, and I trust your gut more than the probabilities right now."

Well if that wasn't pressure Killian didn't know what could be, but he took it in stride, knowing that this was his job. They'd pinned more stripes to his dress blues for a reason and it was because in moments like this, things really did fall on his shoulders. He was the leader on this vessel, and though he reported to superiors back aboard the ship and on base, there was no one else to lead the charge right now, not when all radio contact with home was cut off and the storm was only getting worse.

"You got a riptide index, Tink?" Killian asked and Tink responded with the intervals she had. Though it wasn't much to go on, Killian ran with it, rattling instructions for the team to move due east another two miles. It was a final push, and if he was wrong they wouldn't have the ability to keep looking and have the fuel to head back, but the others immediately followed his orders and two minutes later hope returned once more when Tink yelled out.

"There! Right there!"

Sure enough there was the vessel in question, sporting some real problems as it crashed over huge waves. It was taking on water too from the look of things, but at least they had a scene now and as they approached Killian could see people moving aboard the ship. There were signs of life, and that in itself was a huge relief.

From there the work was second nature, and though it was rough on him and the others to get things just right, they'd trained hard for this. This was the moment when instinct took over, and for Graham and Killian who were the two actually repelling down for rescue support to bring the family aboard the chopper, there was no time for distraction. Everything right now had to be the work, but even in the midst of that Killian carried with him something else, or rather someone else. Whether he realized it consciously or not, there was a woman who was with him right now, the one woman he loved more than anything in the world who was his sole real reason for fighting this hard to get home right now: Emma.

Initial extraction went well, and in the first swoop Graham and Killian got three of the kids safely up to the chopper, but disaster struck when Graham was heading up with the smallest boy and the scared child wiggled out of Graham's hold. He was motioning towards his mother, no doubt looking for her comfort and warmth in a time of sheer terror, but in a second he was pulled under the tides as he fell from the security of the line. It was the worst thing that could have happened, but Killian kept a level head, disengaging from his rigging and diving in after him.

The impact of the choppy water in the thick darkness of the storm was too harsh to handle, and the air rushed out of Killian as he did, but he hadn't taken this huge risk just to fuck it all up. He was in this now, and he had to find the boy and get them both to safety. It was the only way forward, and when it seemed like Killian might not manage, he held close one memory, a memory from this afternoon as he'd been dozing with Emma when her golden hair had been splayed across his pillow and her lush lips had murmured the three most amazing words he'd ever heard in his life.

" _I love you."_

She'd whispered so low he almost doubted it had happened, but it was real. She'd fallen asleep directly after curled up against his chest, and there was a more than solid chance Emma hadn't realized what she said, but Killian knew that she meant it. It wasn't possible to explain, but deep down in his soul he had this certainty about his Swan, and he also knew that they had so much more left to their story than this.

Through some kind of miracle at that moment he came up for air then and managed to gather his bearings as best he could, and in an eerily calm moment in another wise unending storm, Killian caught sight of something, a figure in the water he knew was the boy. He swam as best he could until he grabbed him, and as he pulled the child up above the waves the lad coughed for air, signaling it wasn't too late. It was a godsend to be sure, but Killian could never have gotten himself or the boy out of the water was it not for Graham who also broke protocol to get the parents and then Killian and the child to safety. Yet even if it had turned out okay in the end, Killian was still shaking from the adrenaline after his team and everyone else was safely on land once more thirty minutes later.

"What the hell were you thinking, Jones?" Tink said angrily once the family was out of earshot with a serious sense of anger.

Killian knew his friend's rage was sparked from worry, but he didn't have an answer. He _hadn't_ been thinking, and though things had turned out all right in the end, he knew it was stupid of him. He'd just been so close to losing everything and all because he'd been reckless in his attempt at being heroic. He regretted that instinct, though he could never regret saving the life of that boy. That being said, he would have to think long and hard about how far he was willing to go from now on now that he had someone and something so perfect to live for as Emma.

"He was thinking he's a bad ass and that that kid wasn't going to make it without a little death defying," Will said excitedly and Killian knew then that his friend didn't get it. Will had yet to meet that special person who could change him so profoundly that the whole world was different, and Killian didn't want to say aloud that Will was wrong. Why shatter the illusion and trouble his friends with his own anxieties right now when he could just put on the brave face and get out of here sooner?

"Don't worry, Tink," Graham said then as he put a hand on Killian's shoulder, exchanging a look with him before he turned his attention back to their sister in arms. "I think Killian's days of great risk are coming to an end. The man has much more to lose now than he did before."

"Emma," Tink said with a look of understanding and there was no need for her to expand further when Killian nodded, admitting silently that his whole outlook had now been transformed.

There didn't need to be some long discussion of all of this because his crew knew how Killian felt about Emma already. Hell they'd been with him the first time he'd ever seen her, and they all made fun of him mercilessly when he said after a five minute conversation that he was going to marry that woman some day. Now though they knew that Killian truly loved her, and Graham was right. That love was changing things and changing Killian in a way they'd all see the next time crisis came calling.

"Well what are you bloody waiting for then, mate?" Will asked seriously. "Get the hell out of here and go get your girl!" 

Killian wanted that desperately but protocol stated that he should be here reporting everything that had happened before he even thought of leaving. The higher ups would be pissed if Killian left his post right now, but when Tink (the typically rules-minded friend) backed Will's idea, Killian found himself truly wanting to follow their instruction.

"You go too Graham," Tink urged seriously, no doubt thinking of how Graham had formed an attachment himself to Emma's best friend. "We've got this handled. There's nothing here that can't wait another day, so you should both go on home."

Killian let out a sigh of relief at those words, and he took the reassurances in stride as he raced out of the command center with Graham right behind him. They'd driven here together as they always did since they lived just next door to each other, but there was nothing like conversation between them as Killian hit the gas and drove as fast as was humanly possible given the continuing storm outside. Instead both men were consumed with the need to be reunited with the women they loved, and their thoughts were occupied in that direction instead of crafting small talk.

It felt like it took forever and a day to drive the five minutes from the heart of the base to where they lived on the compound, but finally Killian put the car in park in front of his house, seeing Emma's little yellow bug and feeling so glad that she'd stayed. Then before he was even fully out of the truck Emma herself was standing on the front steps, waiting for him with a look of love and relief and such beauty on her face that he was powerless to fend off all the emotion that came. He ran to her – they ran to each other – and when she was finally in his arms again after being far away for far too long, it felt like coming home. This house was just a house, but Emma Swan was every good thing in this world combined. She was a miracle made just for him, and Killian had to make her see that, somehow, some way.

In seconds their lips found each other's, and the adrenaline and the fear that had been pounding through Killian's veins for too long was channeled into something pure and life affirming. With Emma in his grasp again and with her actions telling him that she was just as deeply in this as he was, he felt himself healing. By the time they'd pulled apart, both of them wet from the lingering rain falling outside at the tail end of the storm, he'd never felt better. This was exactly the kind of connection he'd always dreamed of but never thought possible, and he would do whatever it took to make sure they had such a love forever more.

"You came back to me," Emma murmured as she held onto him tight, looking at him through dark lashes with her transfixing jade-colored eyes that said so much with just a simple look.

"Aye, love. I promised I would, and I've no intention of ever breaking any promise I make to you," Killian responded, his hand cupping her cheek and pushing away some of the strands of her golden hair that had fallen before her face in the midst of all this rain.

"I know. I trust you," Emma said sweetly and then she hugged him tight, hiding her face in the crook of his neck and whispering about how much she'd missed him and how she'd been so worried but knew in her heart he'd come back.

In truth these words and this completely open and honest embrace from Emma was more overwhelming than any part of the storm he'd just faced. Killian felt more alive and more aware in this moment then he'd been at any instant in the adrenaline-fueled recovery, and it was that charged sense of being and that undeniable emotion that prompted his ultimate confession.

"I love you, Emma. God I love you so much it's like I can't breathe without you. You're everything, love. Everything and so much more, and I just need you to know that I'm in this and I'm yours, always."

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could think better of them, and part of his brain was screaming out in horror. He should have said this more eloquently. He should have made this perfect. It was selfish to say this now and deny Emma the perfect scene she should have had with flowers and candles and music, but from the smile that spread on her perfect face no one would ever be the wiser. For Emma was looking at him right now like she'd never tasted happiness this pure, and he could empathize with that since he felt that every time he held her close.

"I love you too," Emma whispered, her fingers clutching his shirt and pulling him as close as she could. "I love you so much, and I should have told you sooner but -,"

Killian didn't know what Emma's reasons were for holding her heart close up to now, but he wouldn't let her linger in regret, not when she'd just given him the whole world with her admission. She loved him. She loved him! And by God that was the most amazing thing he'd ever known. There was nothing that could ever compare to this, and he didn't want to wait another second to show her that. So he swept her up into his arms and back into the house to spend the rest of the evening giving her everything and more.

Luckily for the both of them they were able to spend the whole night lingering in total satisfaction and immense happiness, and when that night turned again to day, time proved to be on their side completely. Because despite the dangers of Killian's work, and despite the pitfalls and trials that every love must face, Emma and Killian knew nothing but the happiness, safety, and fulfilling bliss that true love can bring. And though there were times in that beautiful future they built together when they were far away in distance, their hearts were always one, calling each other back so they could be side by side always and forever.

…

 _This time, this place misused, mistakes_

 _Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait_

 _Just one chance, just one breath_

 _Just in case there's just one left_

 _'Cause you know, you know, you know_

 _That I love you_

 _I've loved you all along_

 _And I miss you_

 _Been far away for far too long_

 _I keep dreaming you'll be with me_

 _And you'll never go_

 _Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

 _On my knees, I'll ask last chance for one last dance_

 _'Cause with you, I'd withstand_

 _All of hell to hold your hand_

 _I'd give it all I'd give for us_

 _Give anything, but I won't give up_

 _'Cause you know, you know, you know_

 _That I love you_

 _I've loved you all along_

 _And I miss you_

 _Been far away for far too long_

 _I keep dreaming you'll be with me_

 _And you'll never go_

 _Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

 _So far away, so far away_

 _Been far away for far too long_

 _So far away, so far away_

 _Been far away for far too long_

 _But you know, you know, you know_

 _I wanted, I wanted you to stay_

 _'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say_

 _That I love you, I've loved you all along_

 _And I forgive you, for being away for far too long_

 _So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

 _Believe it, hold on to me and_

 _Never let me go, keep breathing_

 _Keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

 _Believe it, hold on to me and_

 _Never let me go, keep breathing_

 _Hold on to me and never let me go_

 _Keep breathing_

 _Hold on to me and never let me go_

 _ **Post-Note: So first let me just say thank you to my reader, not only for the great prompt but for all of your patience! This was a request I got months and months and months ago but the inspiration took a little while to get here. I hope you are happy with the result, and I also want to thank you because it was a really enjoyable chapter to write. As for everyone else, I know I still have many many prompts from people waiting to be written and as I've said before, we will eventually get there, I promise. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	164. Perfect

_**A/N: Short future oneshot (a few years after 6B) where Emma and Killian come home from an all too rare date night and he has a surprise for her. Includes CS fluff in spades, a glimpse of more CS kids, and pays tribute to my multi-reader request for the song 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran. Thanks for reading and hope you all enjoy!**_

Making their way down the thoroughly familiar streets of Storybrooke, Killian couldn't resist the smile that played at his lips. This evening had been a breath of fresh air and a beautiful interlude for him to spend with his Swan after a number of busy weeks where they'd had less and less time to be alone together.

Not that he would trade the state of things for anything. The truth was that this life they'd forged together over the past few years was everything he had hoped for and more, and though there was always something left to do, and always some new adventure that needed attending to, Killian loved this life in a way he couldn't readily express. _This_ was the future that Emma and he had been meant to have, and the idea of happily ever after was tangible given all the good they had going in their lives right now.

"On nights like this it's almost hard to imagine how different things used to be," Emma murmured from where she was curled up beside him on their walk home. Killian wasn't in the least bit surprised that her thoughts were headed in the same direction as his. They were very in tune, he and Emma, and though the path of love wasn't always smooth sailing, there was never any doubt that they would make it and that they were meant to be with each other all along.

"Aye, love. But we've had our fights, we've waged our battles, and we've earned this through and through."

Emma hummed out her agreement to that indisputable fact into the mild night air as she tucked her head against his shoulder and Killian felt his own sense of peace shift more thoroughly into place. His mind wandered back towards the journey they'd gone through to get here and he tracked in a matter of seconds all of the twists and turns that got them to this beautiful moment.

After the final battle had been fought and calm and peace had returned to Storybrooke once more, there had been enough of a lull for Killian and Emma to decide on next steps. Given the breakneck pace of the several years before, it was almost alarming to have so much down time, but they had made the most of it and Killian's grin widened as he thought of all the afternoons he'd spent stealing moments with her at the station and all the nights they'd spent not sleeping and getting wrapped up in each other instead.

It was one of those nights that had brought forth their next chapter in the story of their love, one where Henry ended up having a little sister and Emma and Killian had the chance at doing this whole parenting thing together right from the start. It was pure magic and also complete terror rolled into one indescribably entity, and the first year of his little Hope's life Killian had fluctuated between being a wreck with worry and blissfully happy to have this chance and have Emma as the partner to undertake such a journey with.

Since that time Hope had reached the tender, troublesome age of four and she'd also been joined by another sibling, a healthy baby boy named Liam who was currently waddling through the thick of his terrible twos with Emma's golden hair and Killian's teasing blue eyes. That smirk that Killian was known for had also been past on to their little boy, and every time it appeared on his son's happy face, it spoke to all the mischief they'd have in store with this lad someday.

"You think the kids were good for Mom and Dad?" Emma asked and Killian chuckled at that, shaking his head in an honest reply.

"There's really no telling. They're darlings the two of them, but they also realize they've got their grandparents wrapped so tight around their little fingers they can get away with anything they bloody wish to."

Emma laughed at that breakdown of their children's relationship with their grandparents, her hand running over Killian's arm lovingly as she looked back up to him and her jade colored eyes caught his. Gods she was beautiful, truly just as lovely as the first time he'd laid eyes on her, and though they'd had all this time to get used to being together, Killian's heart still skipped a beat at the gorgeousness of that happy smile that curled at her lips. It was such a treasure to spend a happy moment with Emma, and right now life was filled with such moments to a remarkable degree.

"Are you trying to say that we're not just as under their spell? Because I hate to break it to you _Captain_ , but you're hardly the strict disciplinarian when either of them flash you that puppy dog look of theirs."

"Perhaps you're right, Swan, but can you really blame me? They've all the same magic and magnetism of their incredible mother, and then on top of that they have the benefit of being my children too. As such they're the whole package in any conceivable way."

Killian didn't need to look at Emma to know she was rolling her eyes at that, but he couldn't help the joke all the same. Truth was he could be a total pushover when it came to those little tykes, but there were moments when he was far more serious, especially when it came to their safety. And when Emma believed it was time to put their foot down as a parental unit, he never questioned her, always knowing that it was best for them to be a team. Besides, his lovely wife was easily the smarter of the two of them with better instincts than he could ever hope to have, and Killian would be a fool not to follow where she led.

Emma replied to his teasing with some sass of her own, checking his ego in a way that was blunt but also loving, which was easier said than done, and at that moment they turned the corner onto their street, finally coming into view of the house they called home once more. It was a relief to be back in this place where they both belonged to be sure, but as they were making their way up the walkway of the house, Killian knew the night couldn't end just yet He had plans for Emma, and as she looked to head up the front steps, Killian held her back, surprising her with his lack of motion and bit of redirection.

"Before we go inside, my love, there's one last thing I was hoping we could do."

"Oh really?" Emma asked with a smirk and a heated look that spoke to the best kind of trouble life could bring. She licked her lips and her gaze dropped to his mouth in turn and Killian's whole body flared with warmth and delicious tension. Damn she was a siren! She was still capable of making him crave so much more with just as ingle expression, but he had to resist, at least for a while longer until they were back inside and in the confines of their bedroom once more.

"Do you trust me?" he asked and Emma's face softened into a sweet, sincere smile as she nodded.

"Always."

With that soul searing agreement in his grasp, and with Emma's hand clutched in his, Killian moved them around the house to the backyard where his surprise for her was currently waiting. It was a familiar path to get to that quiet, little oasis, and once they were through the back gate Killian flicked on a light switch to illuminate the space. The resulting gasp that came from Emma was exactly what he'd wanted. He looked to her reaction and he found her truly surprised in the best possible way, if the happy tears that were misting up her eyes were any indication.

"Killian… it's beautiful," Emma finally said, tearing her gaze from what he'd prepared and designed in the backyard today before leaving for their date without her knowing.

The space out here was a place of haven and reprieve for their family, and along with the playground contraption meant for the kids (which had taken Killian and David far longer than they'd care to admit to put together) there was a garden and flowers and greeneries all around. This outdoor place truly enhanced an already wonderful home, and this house, that had at one time been shroud in dark memories, held nothing but brightness now. Everywhere he looked Killian could recall some perfect moment, and tonight the whole place was lit up with twinkling lights and precisely hung lanterns to enhance the evening's moonlight and to provide a special ambiance he knew in his heart his wife would enjoy.

"I'm glad you like it. But I have to admit my motives are not purely unselfish."

"They aren't?" Emma asked as she looked back to him with a curious glance and a raised brow that he had to smile at.

Even with this face of confusion coloring her expression, Emma was the most beautiful person he'd ever laid eyes on. She was more than words could ever hope to capture, but the one that came to mind as the twinkling lights illuminated her golden hair was angelic. Like an angel Emma was something more than human, something so far surpassing ordinary, and yet somehow she was also his. He could feel it so surely, sense their hearts were completely intertwined, and see the love in her eyes even with his questionable behavior right now. His heart stopped for a moment as he tried to take her in and feel that love, and a few too many seconds passed where he forgot he was supposed to respond. But when he regained his composure he cleared his throat and set out to explain his intentions.

"I was hoping that with this heightened setting as an inducement you might dance with me, love."

"You want to dance? Out here?" Emma asked, sounding like she couldn't fathom his train of thought even as excitement and desire colored her features.

"I do," Killian said easily and Emma took one more second to think about it before beaming up at him again and moving to take off the heels she was wearing.

Now it was Killian's turn to be thoroughly confused, and he sent her a questioning look about why she would be shedding her shoes in such a situation. But then Emma explained that knowledgeable partner or not, this would not be a successful dance if her heels were sinking into the dirt the whole time. This made a good amount of sense all things considered, and because Killian was always a gentleman, he removed his shoes as well so they were perfectly matched out here under the starlight.

The only thing left for them to do at this point was to play some music, and with the help of some trusty instructions for all things modern that Henry had left for Killian when he'd last left home, Killian had figured out a way to get some playing out here in the yard. All it required now was the click of a button and the soft, soothing tones of the melody he chose played out all around them. The song in question was one of Emma's favorites. It was a timeless classic in this realm, he'd been told, and it was one he'd grown rather fond of too because every single lovely word reminded him of Emma.

"Just when I think I've got you all figured out you find a way to surprise me," Emma said at one point when he'd twirled her and then dipped her low and Killian laughed aloud.

"You know me better than I know myself, love. You just sometimes forget that there's nothing in my world that matters more than seeing you happy."

With those words let loose between them Emma tucked in closer to him, changing their style of dance to something less rigid and rule based than a waltz. Killian had no problem with that either, for it meant he and his Swan were wrapped up closer together and he could feel her heart beating in time with his. The gentle _thump thump thump_ was a beautiful reminder of he fact that they were both here and alive and living the life they'd always fought for.

Out here in the quiet, with the soft hum of the song's melody around them and the gentle chirping of crickets coasting on a soft ocean breeze, Killian felt like all worry and care could slip away. Nothing could touch him here, and part of the thrill of all of this happy feeling was that they needn't travel far to find it. Being here – being _home_ – was the best thing imaginable, and even when this moment did eventually fade away and they slipped back into the house, Killian knew he'd have no resentments or regrets. For when he was with Emma, such moments of magic would always find a way to come again, and Killian was ready for a long _long_ life filled with such interludes.

"I know it's hardly news at this point, but I think it bears repeating that I love you," Emma whispered as she looked back up at him and Killian smiled at that, not in a cocky way, but with genuine gladness. It didn't matter that he'd heard that every day for years at this point. It was still a miracle in his estimations that he'd ever secured Emma's love at all, and he was always grateful to know he'd maintained a claim to her heart through all the ups and downs life had to bring.

"It might not be news, but it's still the sweetest thing I'll ever hear, Swan," Killian said before whispering that he loved her too. He saw the impact of his honest words too, and the light of wanting and desire that had already been smoldering in Emma's green eyes sparked to a higher pitch as she pulled him down for a kiss out there on the lawn and under the golden lights.

The kiss made no attempt at politeness, and it was all too easy to get sucked into a yearning that wasn't strictly appropriate for being out in the open like this, but that didn't stop Emma and Killian from lingering as long as they could in this embrace. They took things just to the edge and then pulled back, and even then, the only reason Killian could even begin to move away from his lovely wife was because he heard a creaking sound on the floorboard of the back porch. He knew then that they weren't alone any more, and all it took was one glance in the direction of the house to see he was right and that there were in fact two tiny witnesses to what was meant to be a private moment.

"You guys sure do kiss a lot," their daughter Hope acknowledged bluntly.

Killian felt as a laugh broke from Emma's chest, and though she tried to keep it quiet the shaking reverberated through since he was still holding her squarely in his arms. He had no intention of changing that just yet either, even with the unexpected appearance of their two little ones out here. Instead he only grinned as he watched his little lass pushing her wayward brown curls from her precious face as her other hand held onto Liam's little fist with all the care and authority of a good big sister.

"And you, my little princess, are out of doors when it's past your bedtime. How did you two get out here anyway?" Killian asked, though he had his suspicions as he came to scoop a giggling but tired little Liam into his arms and Emma came to take Hope's hand.

"Magic, duh," their daughter said and Liam chorused with his own attempt at the word he called 'magix.'

"What did we say about using your powers when Mom and Dad aren't home, Hope?" Emma asked sternly but still with so much love it couldn't be denied.

"Not to do it," Hope said with a dramatic sigh. "Sorry, Mommy."

"Sowwy, Mommy," Liam chorused back and Killian felt his heart fill with even more love for these two little rascals he loved so dearly.

Emma, meanwhile, proceeded to forgive their little ones while still emphasizing that Hope had to be careful in that effortless way that only a truly good mother could maneuver. She walked the line so brilliantly, and Killian couldn't help feeling this rush of pride that Emma had truly become the best version of herself that she could be. She was so good at this, just as she was so good at so many other things, and it was impossible to resist her as she flashed him a knowing smile and they got the kids squared away for bed once and for all after relieving her parents from babysitting duty.

"I have to be honest, Swan. This is not exactly how I envisioned this night ending," Killian said when they'd entered the hallway once more after Hope had finally drifted off to sleep with Liam fast on her tail.

"Really?" Emma asked with a smile and a glance back in the doorway where Hope's nightlight illuminated their sleeping daughter in a soft golden light.

"Really. You know I had all sorts of ideas about getting you alone. I never anticipated an interruption in getting here," Killian whispered as he led her back to their room and watched Emma's eyes darken and her cheeks flush ever so slightly.

"Maybe it was unexpected…" Emma acknowledged thoughtfully as she came up to run her hand along his chest. "But if you want the truth I thought it was perfect."

"As did I, love," Killian confessed, glad for the fact that the two of them were on the same page. "In fact, I think _perfect_ is exactly the way I'd characterize everything about this life we've made together."

Emma whole-heartedly agreed with that, and she showed Killian that not only with matching words that sounded sweetly to his ears, but a night of bliss so blindingly brilliant it was almost like a dream. But the best part was that it wasn't a dream. None of this was a dream. Somehow, someway, this was really their life, and the most magical part of this happily ever after was that they still had so much love and light and hope to share for now and always.

….

 _I found a love for me  
Darling just dive right in  
And follow my lead  
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet  
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me  
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_

 _Not knowing what it was  
I will not give you up this time  
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own  
And in your eyes you're holding mine_

 _Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms  
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song  
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath  
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight_

 _Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know  
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home  
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets  
To carry love, to carry children of our own  
We are still kids, but we're so in love  
Fighting against all odds  
I know we'll be alright this time  
Darling, just hold my hand  
Be my girl, I'll be your man  
I see my future in your eyes_

 _Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms  
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song  
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful  
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight_

 _Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms  
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song  
I have faith in what I see  
Now I know I have met an angel in person  
And she looks perfect  
I don't deserve this  
You look perfect tonight_

 _ **Post-Note: It's always nice to add another Ed Sheeran song to the CS mixtape, and as I have joked before, I have had enough prompted Sheeran chapters to make a whole mixtape just for him. I honestly still might, someday because I love him, but we will have to see. Anyway, there are still a lot of prompts on my list of songs, and though this one was a newer one than some, it's where my inspiration wanted to lead me to today. I hope you guys have enjoyed and that this chapter finds you doing well! Have a great rest of your day and thanks for reading!**_


	165. Hometown Girl

_**A/N: AU inspired by 'Hometown Girl' by Josh Turner and requested by a reader who wanted an Emma and Killian high school sweethearts fic. This has been taken in a different direction because I also had a few requests from multiple readers for more moments of Killian as a father. So basically it's just fluff for days which I desperately needed since I have had ZERO time to write at all. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy and thanks so much for reading!**_

"But couldn't we just have one more story, Daddy?"

The question, posed by Killian's eldest daughter Hope, was asked sincerely but without the backing of true conviction. Even as his and Emma's six year old asked for more she was fighting back a yawn, determined to stay awake when it was truly time for bed. Her determination was endearing, a trait Killian was so glad their little lass had inherited from her mother, but hard as it was he had to deny her this request, especially when her little sisters were already fast asleep across the room.

"I'm afraid not, Princess. A new tale will have to wait until tomorrow," he said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead and she sighed.

"Okay. Love you," she replied and Killian's heart squeezed tight as the twins, Leia and Lizzie murmured the same thing from across the way where he'd assumed they were already sleeping.

"And I love you, my darling girls. Goodnight." With one last look at the three of them (who all insisted on sharing a room still even though Emma and Killian had assumed that a day would come when Hope demanded more independence), Killian closed the door and walked back down the hallway.

It took a ways journey to return to the center of the house, since their one story ranch had been added to as the years went on and their success grew and grew, and by the time he was back in the living room Killian found himself feeling the twinges of loneliness. The house was too quiet like this, and though he had three shining stars, all brilliant and dazzling sleeping just down the way, the house was missing their brightest gem – Emma.

Soon enough his lovely wife would be home, and since this was a monthly tradition of girl's night on the town Killian was used to the separation in some ways, but it would never be comfortable. His place would always be with Emma, and in the times when they were apart it felt like a piece of him was missing along with her. But the glory of their bond, and the best part of his world, was that no matter what came and no matter what they faced, the two of them always found their way back to each other and to the happiness they'd built on the foundations of that love.

In the meantime this house was filled with memories and snapshots of a life spent together. So many of the pictures on the mantel were of their precious girls, growing from the wee ones they'd been into how they were now, but there were older photos too, photos from a past that felt still so present that held the images of him and Emma and the friends and family they loved so much too. Killian could close his eyes and recall every detail of every story, and as long as a memory held his Emma in its grasp, it was bound to stay with him no matter how many years had gone by.

" _Don't you ever forget anything?"_ Emma would often ask him, sometimes with frustration if they were disagreeing over something, but most times with sweetness. Yet each time she asked Killian would shake his head and smile before pulling her into his arms and answering with a resounding truth:

" _I forget the things that are unimportant, love, and you are anything but."_

That might seem like a line to some, but Killian always meant it as his wife well knew, and every time they had that back and forth she'd melt into his arms and give into what was between them. No matter what they'd been doing there'd be a moment of understanding, and those quiet, honest moments were some of the most perfect ones he'd ever known. Unlike this moment, which he considered rather unfortunate since he was missing his Emma something fierce.

Knowing that he still had time before Emma would be home, Killian had some choices of things to keep himself busy. There was always more work to be done and more chores to be conquered, but tonight he'd put those to the wayside. Instead he found himself in the kitchen, mixing together Emma's favorite sweet treat that had become his as well and filling a thermos that would last as long as need be. Then he moved out into the mild summer's night and staked out a perch on the white porch swing that was a beloved spot for both he and Emma. And as he did, Killian allowed his mind to wander over everything he had, and how it all began with a twist of fate so many years ago.

After what was easily the hardest year of Killian's young life, in which he'd lost both his Mum and the stability of the home he'd always known, Killian ended up here in the states as a boy of fourteen. He and his brother Liam had packed up the little they cared to take with them and moved across the world and from the get go Killian had been adamant that nothing would ever make him like this corner of the universe. It was dusty, it was hot, and all the eye could see for what felt like forever was corn and cows, two things he had absolutely no interest in.

Some people called their little hamlet quaint, and more than a few people had referred to the terrain when Killian first moved here as 'textbook American,' but for the first few weeks of his being here he'd had a different word in mind: hell.

That all changed, however, on the fateful morning that Liam finally kicked Killian out of the house and Killian made his way into town. He approached the center of the tiny village feeling like there was nothing of note or worth in the whole bloody place. Aside from a diner and a few local shops, this looked like another layer of complete and utter boredom to add to his miserable life, but then she was there, his Emma, and Killian hadn't any room in his mind for thoughts of leaving or loathing or anything of the like.

All these years later and Killian still remembered that first moment, the one where he stopped dead in his tracks and felt like he'd been struck right in the chest. She literally stole the breath from his lungs, leaving Killian disoriented and dazed as he stood on the sidewalk just twenty feet away from where she'd exited the town library with a book in hand and a smile on her face. She was a vision, an angel, a light in the darkness that was this podunk farm town, and then, suddenly, she was looking at him and Killian was fully and completely lost.

The particulars of that conversation and what was said escaped him to this day, mostly because he'd been so tongue tied when this gorgeous girl approached him and introduced herself that he couldn't retain anything but immense emotions. All he remembered was the sound of her laughter and the way her hair glowed in the sunlight. He remembered feeling like he was on top of the world because he'd managed to keep her interest for the two minutes they had before she was called away by the person Killian would later come to understand was her mother, and he remembered her parting words like she'd said them only yesterday:

" _I'll be seeing you, Killian Jones."_

And see him she did, thank God. From that point forward there was never a day when Killian and Emma didn't come together in some way or other. At first it was all friendly, just two young people finding something in each other that sparked a sense of understanding. Killian saw in Emma a similar sense of humor and a curiosity about life beyond such a small piece of land, yet Emma also brought a light and a hope that he didn't realize he could still feel and have himself. This entrancing, golden-haired girl, who was just as beautiful in her Sunday best and in a baseball cap and dusty jeans, was an enigma in so many ways, and yet Killian had never felt closer or imagined a better friend to keep close whenever possible.

Of course where friendship blossomed, love was not so far behind. In truth it had been there from the start, but it took a bit of courage on Killian's end and a confession from Emma that his feelings weren't one sided for them to take the leap. But one kiss and one promise from Emma that she was in this too was all Killian needed to give all of himself to this miracle of a girl who brightened up his life.

Falling for each other was fast, it was freeing, and though so many people claimed it would be fleeting, as young love often is, this attachment had never lessened at any point. Killian could safely say he was even more in love with Emma now than he had been as a boy, and that was entirely thanks to a life spent together where they'd learned and grown side by side and always held tight to the thought that love should and would conquer all.

Eventually, after finishing high school and a sojourn for the two of them at schools in NYC, the question came of what was next? What dreams would Emma and Killian pursue, for whatever they would be, they would no doubt be done together. Surprisingly though, those dreams all pointed back here, to the town Killian had at one time written off as nothing special. Somehow, someway, this place had become his home, and when the woman who held claim to every piece of his heart said part of her heart remained here, he had no doubts that they should return and live their days happy and content out in this place where life was simpler and where their stories had first intertwined way back when.

To think of that story now and to know that Emma was now his bride and the mother of his children settled something in Killian. He'd truly been blessed in a way no one else could claim, and there was never a second, even at the most trying times when he'd trade any of it. He'd take problems on the ranch or hiccups in parenting any day as long as he had his family and his place right here, and he didn't need to lose anything to realize just how lucky a man he was.

At that moment a rumbling sound came off in the distance that Killian knew instinctively was Emma's truck, and as she made her way up the dirt path that led to home Killian rose to his feet, watching and waiting for the moment when she hopped down from the drivers seat, still humming along to whatever country song had been on the radio and swaying her hips along to the music that still played in her mind. When her eyes met his, however, there was nothing like surprise at his being there. Instead there was only a warm smile and a laugh that flitted through the air and met his ears up on the porch.

"You know you didn't have to wait up for me," Emma said cheekily as she came to stand beside him and slipped into his arms with ease and comfort. Killian debated replying to her words, but he sided with a kiss instead as if to say there was no other choice. "Not that I mind you waiting when I get a reception like this."

"Like this?" Killian asked, still a little dazed and just happy to have Emma back as he ran his thumb across the corner of her lips.

"Mhmm. Never hurts to have my hot as hell husband greet me with a kiss. In fact, it usually means I can tempt him to giving me so much more…"

At the words Killian felt himself growl out a sound of agreement since there was nothing he'd rather do than give Emma everything she wanted – everything they both wanted. He hadn't meant to make the sound per se, but from the way a bit of pink crept into Emma's cheeks and her eyes darkened even more he knew she was right there with him. All this time later and the spark still flared just as bright and caught on just as swiftly as ever. He was wrapped up in his hometown girl without question, and tonight he'd love exploring every last way they could get tangled up together.

"And when have I ever needed tempting, love?" he asked with a gruffness in his voice, running his hand along the small of her back before coming to her hip and holding her against him. "You know you have me any time you wish."

"I know," Emma agreed with another smile and another hungry kiss, but just as Killian was about to sweep her up in his arms and bring her back inside, Emma pulled back and gave her final thoughts, making him a promise with a sense of earnest honesty Killian felt deep down in his soul. "And you have me too, Killian. Now and always."

And the wonderful thing was that Emma was right. This _was_ a love for now and always, a love with a past, a present, and a gorgeous future. And this love, rare and amazing as it was, would bring the kind of happiness only fairytales and country songs could ever dare to dream of. Together Emma and Killian would truly have a happily ever after, and every day they'd live that dream together, choosing love and family and hope every step of the way.

…

 _She grew up around here on that southwest side  
Where the corn grows up to the road side  
Went to high school here, got that Panther pride  
She'll be cheering them on every Friday night_

 _She couldn't hide her beauty with a baseball cap  
Couldn't help but shine with a heart like that  
New York called when she turned 21  
But she never forgot where she came from_

 _I need a pretty little homegrown hometown girl  
With a ribbon tying back those waterfall curls  
I've been looking all over, all over the world  
For a pretty little homegrown hometown girl_

 _Her mamma's mamma was born right here  
And her roots run deeper than that old town square  
She's a good girl but she's not uptight  
She can rise and shine and she can hang all night_

 _I need a pretty little homegrown hometown girl  
With a ribbon tying back those waterfall curls  
I've been looking all over, all over the world  
For a pretty little homegrown hometown girl_

 _She's got an old soul, she's the salt of the earth  
When she gives her love she knows what it's worth  
There's a lot of pretty girls out there to me  
But there's nothing like the one right across the street_

 _I need a pretty little homegrown hometown girl  
With a ribbon tying back those waterfall curls  
I've been looking all over, all over the world  
For a pretty little homegrown hometown girl_

 _I need a pretty little homegrown hometown girl_

 _ **Post-Note: So thank you so much to the lovely reader who requested this ages and ages ago. Considering how long this mixtape is, you would think I would have more high school sweetheart fics, but I guess I will have to remedy that when I have the time. This little drabble, however, really soothed my soul in writing it. It's just honest to goodness fluff, and sometimes that's really what my heart needs. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I truly hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!**_


	166. Easy Come, Easy Go

_**A/N: Hey all! This is actually the chapter I submitted for the CSSB this year that elongates the moment in 6x03 where Emma asks Killian to move in with her. When I was writing this scene, this song ('Easy Go' the acoustic version by Grandtheft & Delaney Jane) was a huge part of where I pulled inspiration from and it's definitely a scene I think will be enhanced if you read along with listening to the song. Anyway, if you have read, enjoy the reread and if you haven't then I hope you will enjoy!**_

Retreating from the stables where today's biggest trials had been faced and heading hand in hand with Killian back outdoors into the sunny afternoon, Emma was finally beginning to feel like the immediate threat of darkness was behind them. Things had gotten more than a little rocky back there, and there was a chance that Ashley might not have made it out of this contentious situation alive, but in the end hope and family had been strong enough to save them all. It was a happy ending all things considered, and for Emma she was eager to count this as a win and let the darkness plaguing her life right now slip away for a time so she could just enjoy a quiet moment.

"It's not very often we get a proper act of celebration after your heroics, Swan," Killian acknowledged as they made their way from the barn down to the field where Ashley, Clorinda, and Jacob insisted Emma and Killian join them. It was a kind gesture on their part, and one that Emma had felt unable to turn down, even as Henry made his excuses and headed back into town, but she had to laugh at Killian's words which made it seem like he'd been waiting _ages_ for her to get some kind of solid recognition.

"What? You mean to tell me all of those dinners at Granny's just aren't cutting it anymore?" Emma joked. Though Killian kept his hand in hers he raised his hook in a gesture of feigned surrender.

"I'd never dare to make such a claim, love. I'm merely suggesting that though the town is small, there are _some_ locales other than your grilled cheese haven where we can find respite after a hard earned victory."

Emma leaned into his side as she let those words sink in, silently communicating to him as she bit back her laugh to a softer chuckle that she appreciated his humor. Leave it to Killian to be her breath of fresh air after a whirlwind of a day. He always knew just what tactic to use when it came to calming her and getting her feet back on the ground, and that wit was very welcome given all the angst they'd faced today.

Besides, there was no arguing that Killian had a point. It was a nice change to stay out in the fresh air for a while and partake in a meal that wasn't their usual diner fare. The whole aura of the place was peaceful and quiet and Emma and Killian didn't often get to indulge in spaces like this for very long. Usually there was barely any time at all between one crisis and the next, but right now Emma could almost let herself believe that wasn't their life. Out here in these wide-open spaces, they were just two ordinary people, and even though she realized that wasn't actually the case, Emma felt content and grateful that she had this relatively normal moment and that she was getting to share it with the man she loved.

"When we started this day I doubted we'd get such a chance to be mostly alone," Killian said at one point as his hook ran across her leg lightly. "Can't say I'm sorry for it either."

Emma hummed out a sound of agreement as her hand came up to his arm and she let herself linger in this easy connection. It had been hard fought, and there was a time not too long ago where even this little display of intimacy would have had Emma's walls climbing back up to their highest points. But not anymore. Now this was becoming her and Killian's new normal, and though it still surprised her every day just how far they'd come, Emma would do whatever it took to stay like this where they were happy and still together.

One could say that Emma's life had been a giant series of surprises since Henry brought her back here. There was always another curse, another villain, another wrench thrown in the plan for her and her family. But her surest source of good surprises these days came from the man she'd given her heart to long ago, and even on this painful day, a day that had been trying and exhausting in so many ways, Killian managed to astound her time and time again in the best possible manner.

It started when they were at Granny's this morning. Henry had run in, excited by his list of new people in town. He was practically ready to burst with his enthusiasm, and he'd eagerly pulled Emma into the sorting and greeting with him. Yet all the while Emma's attention had been torn between helping Storybrooke's newcomers and doing what she always did these days, which was looking back to Killian. She'd cast more than a few fleeting glances at her pirate to make sure he was there and safe, and what she found was something sweet and touching and undeniably attractive: Killian trying his best to endear himself to a toddler who looked at him with wide eyes and loads of curiosity.

Even from her spot across the diner, Emma had witnessed his clear worry at his potential inability to interact with Ashley's daughter, Alexandra, correctly. When Ashley first asked for help he'd stiffened up and looked a bit defensive. But despite his reservations, Killian had been that perfect mix of humorous and dorky to keep the little girl engaged, and Emma's heart had been powerless to do anything but melt at the sight of it.

That moment had awoken something in Emma and had widened the door on all the things that she wanted with this man. It was impossible to see Killian engaged on this level and not wonder what he'd be like as a father and what it would be like to take all those steps and face all those familial highs with him at her side. He was already a strong and sure presence in Henry's life, something Emma was truly grateful for, but this would be different, and for the first time in her life Emma found herself thinking that she wanted that. The love that they had was true, and in a perfect story - in a story where love did win out in the end - they would get to that place and they'd find all kinds of purpose and reward in choosing each other and building a life and a family together side by side.

Of course this revelation and this new wave of feeling had sent Emma sprinting head first into a panic and she'd banged on Archie's door only minutes later trying to deal with the guilt of all of this. She was keeping things from Killian and from all of her family, and she was grappling with the fact that her time was drawing near a close in this finally happy life she was living. It was heartbreaking to think that way, but then Archie had said something that stuck with her:

" _Maybe it's not about how you end things. Maybe it's about how you live them."_

It took the rest of the day for Emma to really absorb that, and she'd had to go through more troubles with her magic and more doubts of her strength and ability, but once again Henry and Killian were there to save the day. They'd bolstered her up at every turn, and Killian especially had never let a moment come when Emma could doubt his love for her. It was so vivid and so apparent that it simply couldn't be denied, and that love and faith in her was what had gotten them to this little space of reprieve all of these hours later.

"She really was brave Ashley," Killian said, cutting into some of Emma's silent musings and bringing her back to the present once more.

"Putting love before life?" Emma asked as she ran her hands through the hair at the nape of his neck soothingly. It was a familiar gesture, a testament to their comfort with each other and the easy affection they'd fallen into, but it felt only natural as Emma asked a question to which she already knew the answer.

"Exactly," Killian replied. "It's hardly an easy feat, but because she did, things turned out all right in the end."

Emma let those words wash over her and as they did she couldn't help but go back to her own story and her own history with the whole concept of love. Before she'd met Killian any notions of true love had been so far from her radar. The men in her life were at best of an easy come, easy go variety especially after the heartache she'd suffered with Neal. One night stands were an Emma Swan specialty, but that changed when she came to Storybrooke, fell through a portal to another world entirely, and then met a pirate who should never have touched her heart, but fit into her life and into her very soul in an almost effortless way.

Yes, there had been ups and downs and the path to love was hardly smooth sailing, especially not in this town and with Emma's destined life of saving and just barely surviving. But from the moment she met Killian, Emma knew this wasn't a one-time kind of thing, despite what she claimed in the depths of the Neverland jungle. Killian was dangerous, an unknown variable that could have thrown off everything she cared about and the already fragile life she was trying to build for her and her kid, but slowly he'd shown her that he was worth the risk. The man beneath the pirate was worth taking a chance on, and in the end that had been one the best gambles she'd ever taken.

No one knew her like Killian or understood her frame of mind as he did. At every turn he was the one who got her and who knew how to be there when she needed to lean on someone instead of always leading the pack. He was her rock in the worst of times and the voice calling her back when the darkness threatened to win out over her hope. Killian and Henry were her surest anchors, and as Emma looked at Killian now from their spot at the table in this field, taking him in with all his love and patience and irresistible charm, she knew the truth she'd been denying for a while now. There was no need to second-guess this any more because with Killian she was all in. No matter what may come she needed him and she would always need him, and Emma didn't want to waste any more time holding on to what-ifs when she could instead live for now with a man she loved who loved her so truly in return.

"Move in with me," she murmured.

She was almost unsure if she'd said it aloud when it took Killian a moment to reply, but then his gaze met hers once more and Emma knew he'd heard her and that he was shocked in a way that rarely happened. In the blue depths of his eyes there was so strong a swirl of emotion that it was almost blinding in its brilliance, but Emma kept her eyes with his, meeting him head on in her request and knowing that he wouldn't deny her, not when he wanted this just as much as she did.

"What?" he asked, not believing her, but Emma only smiled in the face of his continued surprise.

"Move in with me," she repeated softly. "I know everything in life is uncertain, but sometimes you have to walk out the door and hope there's not a bus."

The look on Killian's face at that assertion was a heady mix of confusion and real and tangible joy. Emma could tell already from the brightening of his features and the grin that appeared so quickly that he was in, just as she knew he would be. But it felt so good to hear his laugh in the face of her proposition and she decided to go with that and chase that bit of fun in this otherwise intense moment.

"I mean… I have a closet full of red jackets and I feel like I could make some space for some black leather."

"Well when you put it like that, then I would love to move in with you."

Killian's words were rushed out, as if he was almost afraid that anything but immediate acceptance would have her changing her mind, but Emma knew that she never would. Whatever may come, whatever her fate may be, she understood deep down in her soul that this was right. The only way to move was forward, and the only way to live was to choose love and hold it close, even when it scared her senseless.

But it was hard to be scared in moments like this, when she was in Killian's arms and tasting one of those amazing kisses of his that always seemed to breathe new life into her. She already felt that miraculous sense of happiness from being brave enough to take this next step, but this only added to the glow of their moment. Emma felt on top of the world, and right now, in this instant, there was nothing and no one who could tear her down. Right now she knew her place and she knew her future and Killian had such a huge part to play in it that she had to believe love would find a way.

Coming up for air after that kiss, Emma felt like so much of the weight she'd been carrying on her shoulders had lifted. She leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes and soaking in the light and warmth that their love always brought her that was magnified now because she was taking a real step forward with this wonderful man. This was a beautiful next chapter, and all Emma could think was that she wanted time to cherish that. With the way things were going in her life right now, time was a luxury she could barely afford, but it was one she was willing to invest in today, especially with Killian.

"What do you say we head _home_ , Captain?" She asked with a smile and she loved the grin that appeared on Killian's face when she proposed the idea and used his more official title. "I think I've had just about enough adventures for one day."

"I'd say that's a marvelous plan, love," he agreed and Emma took that as permission enough to stand up and take his hand in hers.

Killian probably assumed that they'd walk back to the house together, but Emma had other ideas, and part of this whole enjoying every moment thing required using a little magic. With a puff of white smoke that manifested effortlessly despite her recent afflictions, she _poofed_ them back home. They ended up on the front steps, and when they got inside and she was sure that they were totally alone, Emma led Killian up the stairs in the direction of the room that they'd been meant to share since Killian and Henry first found this place together all that time ago.

Emma felt her heart pounding in her chest as she climbed up those steps, anticipating all they could have in this brief window of peace and quiet, yet before Emma could round the corner at the top of the stairs, Killian's feet stilled and Emma was caught up in his pause. She turned back around to see that a thoughtful expression had settled on his face. It was the same look he usually had when he was going to say something sweet and romantic, and Emma's heart fluttered in her chest as she asked what was wrong.

"Everything okay?"

Killian nodded as he pulled her back into his chest, wrapping his arms around her and looking at her with a gaze that spoke to the endless limits of his love for her. It was breathtaking to say the least, but Emma was spoiled in some respects since she saw this look pretty often. Killian had long ago stopped hiding what kind of feelings she inspired in him, and though it had taken Emma a longer time to get there too, she liked to think she could be as open with her caring for him as he was with her.

"Everything is perfect, Emma. I just wanted to take a moment and soak this in," he explained and Emma smiled, understanding his desire to really experience this. It was so typical that he would be her voice of reason right now, and with his rational mentality in mind, Emma's once nagging sense that they had to rush through this faded away.

Looking around the space up here, Emma had to admit that it was a pretty amazing feeling to have this place that would belong to both of them. It had seemed at so many moments in their frenzied, chaotic life that this could never come to pass as badly as they might wish for it, but here they were, despite all of the odds. There were still things to be done, and over the coming weeks Emma and Killian would have to figure out a way to blend their lives and their tastes in this home while also juggling the insanity of everything on the horizon. But Emma was excited for that, because she knew she had the perfect partner to undertake such an operation with.

"When Henry and I first concocted this idea of finding a house back in Camelot, it was supposed to be a means of keeping you in the light. We wanted to give you something to look forward to while you were facing impossible hardships," Killian explained, putting words to motivations Emma had understood even way back then. "But the truth is that it was more than that for me. This house was a symbol of what we _could_ have, if fate would just give us a bloody chance."

Emma laughed at Killian's frustration with destiny, but the sound caught in her throat as she thought of how applicable that anger still was. Here she was fretting about what her final fate would be given all of her recent visions, but Killian's comments were also a reminder that they had conquered fate before. Love had given them and their family the strength to achieve impossible things, so maybe this was possible too. Emma didn't know for sure, but she continued to listen to Killian's thoughtful words, grounding herself in them and in him because they made a bleak and dreary world seem so much brighter.

"As time went on I began to use this house as an anchor for my own hopes as well. Then when I was trapped in the Underworld and convinced we would never have this, I still had moments when I allowed myself to picture what this house could be. I dreamed up a whole life here for you and I, Emma, and it was the only thing that kept me sane until you saved me yet again."

"And what exactly did these dreams look like?" Emma asked, suddenly desperate to have this deep and probing talk with Killian about what he would want for their future though she had avoided it as long as they'd been together.

Before he could respond, Emma considered the possibilities for herself, and she had flashes appear in her mind of all she'd want if somehow everything worked out. With Killian by her side Emma could imagine so much joy that would manifest in all forms. Maybe they'd get engaged, get married, and have the chance at the years and years together a true happily ever after should bring. They'd live a simpler life, still fighting on the side of good and protecting this town, but not fighting for their lives with so much constant vigor. And if things were ever peaceful - or really just in any way stable enough to try - Emma could see them having more kids, kids who would know a mother's and a father's love from the day they were born and for decades to come.

Emma's visions basically consisted of a life filled with second chances done right and an existence where she knew every day that she was loved and that she belonged. Killian would truly join the ranks of her family, though he was already so dearly important to her now, and he'd be her rock as he had been for so long. And more than anything they would be happy, something she'd always wanted but never imagined was really possible until coming to Storybrooke and finding Henry and her parents and her true love.

"The details of my dreams were ever changing, love. For we could live a thousand lives, face a thousand different stories, and I would be happy as could be as long as we were together," Killian whispered as his hook came up to brush a strand of her wayward hair back behind her ear lovingly. "But the most important part in every fantasy was that you and I had more time, and that we lived each moment with full purpose. In the dreams I never let you doubt how much I love you, and I never let a day go by where I didn't tell you how grateful I am for everything you are and everything you've given me."

Emma's heart seized almost painfully at his sweet overture and part of her had to wonder if Killian knew about her visions or if he'd somehow picked up on the fate she was grappling with, but even if he had, it wouldn't truly matter. Because in this moment – in this perfect blip of time – Emma made a choice, a choice to fight, a choice to love, and a choice to live. Someday, somehow, she would have this dream life with Killian. She would make this work and find a path that led to what they both wanted, and even if the way forward wasn't clear just yet, she knew she'd find it as long as she had Killian standing by her side.

"I love you too, Killian. More than I can ever say," Emma whispered, clutching him closer to her as she fended off the tears pooling in her eyes. "Someday this home _will_ be everything we want. But for tonight, all I want is you and I to be together. No second guessing. No interruptions. Just us the way we were meant to be. Think we can handle that?"

"It would be my greatest honor, Swan," he replied happily, before taking her lips in a searing kiss that stole her breath and sent all dark thoughts scattering as far away as they could go.

And later on, after Killian had whisked her off to bed and made her feel just as loved and adored as any one person possibly could, Emma found herself still believing that this would all work out in the end. For a love like theirs would always be the answer to life's trials and tribulations, and the light it brought could snuff out any darkness, no matter how great and no matter how final it might claim to be.

…

 _I've been chasing flesh and bones to feel something_

 _I've been wasted not giving a fuck what I've been taking_

 _Keep cool, I've got this_

 _You looking at me that way got me hopeless_

 _One night could never be enough_

 _Until I met you it was easy come, easy go_

 _Until I met you it was..._

 _Easy come, easy go /x2_

 _I've been living like I've got nothing to lose_

 _If I seem distant, it's cause I'm scared of losing you_

 _Something is different, cause I don't want you to leave in the morning_

 _One night could never be enough_

 _Until I met you it was easy come, easy go /x2_

 _Can we get high, and take it slow?_

 _Easy come, easy go_

 _Can we get high, and take it slow?_

 _Until I met you it was easy come, and easy go /x2_

 _Until I met you it was..._

 _ **Post-Note: So first and foremost I have to thank the people who did the CSSB this year and the lovely reader (hi-ya Krystal!) who really pushed me towards participating in this. At first it was kind of hard to figure out where I wanted to go with this (though I have loved this episode since it first aired back in the fall), but then I found the perfect little bit of inspiration: this song. If you haven't already listened to it I would highly recommend it (most especially the acoustic version) and to me it really works as a CS song. Anyway thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!**_


	167. Back to You

_**A/N: Reader requested EF AU oneshot where Emma is a princess (duh), and Killian is a boy she fell in love with years ago. He's gone away to sea for a long time, but they agreed that one day they'd find their way back to each other. This chapter shows a glimpse of that day and it goes with the song 'Back To You' by Twin Forks.**_

Rising with the sun had long ago been something Emma grew accustom to. It was a strange habit for a princess to be sure, especially when no one else in the castle would be up for some time yet, but for Emma the light of a new morning would dawn and she would rise each and every time. It was a part of her now, and it was a tribute of sorts to a man she loved who was always half a world away, carrying her heart in tow.

"But not today," Emma whispered aloud as she smiled up to the ceiling of her bedchamber, her excitement growing more palpable by the minute. "Today he's coming back to me."

The realization was enough to prompt Emma out of bed and into a dizzying state of movement. There was so much to consider, but nothing big enough to ease her mind of the rushing sensation that something massive was just on the horizon. After years away, Killian Jones – her Killian - was finally going to come home. She'd waited what felt like a whole lifetime to have a real chance with him and finally today was to be that day. Killian's service as a Lieutenant in the royal navy of another kingdom was up today, and with his word now lived up to, and his commitments achieved, Emma knew there was nothing that could keep her traveling sailor from coming home again.

These were the happy and anxious thoughts that clung to Emma as she milled around her room, choosing which dress she thought best or how exactly she wanted to look for Killian's arrival. She had dreamed of this moment so many times, and she wanted it to be perfect, but as her tizzy of anticipation grew louder and louder, she was calmed by a familiar voice in the back of her mind, a voice she'd gone to for comfort more times than she could count over the past five years.

" _Anything will be perfect, my love. There's nothing the worlds over that could ever compare to my swan."_

Emma smiled at that, biting her lip to keep the full grin from spreading over her face, but she felt her hands still some and her worries ease away with the quiet comfort. Of course Killian wasn't here yet, but time had done nothing to dull the memories Emma had of him, and the lilt of his voice mixed with that somehow silken gravel rang so clearly through her mind even all of these years later. She could recall almost every moment of the time they'd spent together during their childhood, including that fateful day he'd happened upon that unusual nickname. No one had ever called her anything but 'Princess' or 'Emma,' but that endearment of being his swan had come to mean so much to Emma. If that was how he saw her, as graceful, and beautiful, and magical, then she would gladly accept that. After all she loved him with all her heart and thought the world of him too. It seemed only fair that he should feel all of the same love that she did.

Eventually the waiting and pacing in her room had to give way to something else. The confines of her chambers could no longer hold Emma's restless spirit and so she moved through the castle as quietly as could be, passing by some of the staff along the way and greeting them kindly but not stopping to chat. She had to get beyond the palace walls and breathe some fresh air. It would help, she knew, and she would feel better for it in the long run.

Finally she made her way into the palace gardens, a scenery where in years past late morning hours turned to afternoons and evenings almost all of which were spent by Killian's side. They'd once been so young that the only thing they fancied were games of chase or hide and seek, but with more maturity came different perfect days. Many times Emma would come out here with a good book about pirates and heroes and get lost in a world totally different than her own. But she was never lost enough that she ever lost sight of Killian. For her whole living memory he had been her constant, until it was time for him to face his destiny, a destiny Emma couldn't understand at first but that in time she'd come to accept.

" _It's not that I'd ever choose to leave you, Emma. Surely you know that,"_ Killian had said the first night he told her of his enlisting in the navy just as his elder brother Liam had. _"But after all Liam has done for me, I have to try and repay him. Besides,"_ he'd said as he brushed a fallen tear from her cheek, looking like he was fending off his own onslaught of emotion. _"I've every intention of becoming a man worthy of a woman like you, and this seems as good a way as anyway to make that happen."_

" _You're already enough for me,"_ Emma had whispered, holding onto his jacket with an unrelenting grasp, almost like she'd been afraid he would disappear into the night air without a trace.

" _And you, swan, are everything to me. Which is why the very day that my service is up I'll be here. The first place – the_ only _place – I will come is back to you."_

" _You promise?"_ Emma had asked, and without hesitation he'd given his word, promising so much more than just his return. He'd promised her forever that night, and then he'd offered the sweetest sentiment in parting that Emma held close all these years later.

" _What's five years when you have true love?"_

The truth was it was everything and nothing all at once. The longing Emma fended off the past one thousand eight hundred and twenty five days was sharp and almost painful, but in that time Emma had done some growing of her own. She'd focused on her studies, both magical and practical, and she'd taken full advantage of the time Killian was away to watch her own mother and father in how they ruled the kingdom. Someday this place would be Emma's to rule and protect, and she was ready for that responsibility now, but she'd feel even better about taking on such a task if the man that she loved was by her side. Luckily Emma had no need to worry about her parents' reaction when Killian did return. They were both understanding and encouraging of Emma finding the magic and the love life had to offer, and there would never be a day when Snow White and Prince Charming stood in the way of true love. No, it would all work out in the end. All Emma and Killian needed was to finally be together and then life would become all Emma had dreamed and hopefully so much more.

Emma smiled at that as her hand reached for a pristinely pink rose in the center of the garden. She felt the softness of the petals, but at the contact she got more than the flash of a memory. Instead her vision filled with something current, something happening right now. A royal navy ship pulling into the harbor closest to the castle. The sea birds were calling, the waves were slow and sure, and the sounds of the docks were present and real as the ship moved closer, and then Emma was back in her garden once more, certain that the vision she'd just gotten was a sign. Killian was here! He was here and she had to go to him now, waiting just wouldn't be enough.

With that Emma set off at an unladylike sprint through the grounds, rounding the corners of each grove in the castle grounds heading towards the stables. On the way though she ran right into her tutor and good friend Tinkerbelle, surprising the fully-grown fairy with the impact and the clear rush Emma was in.

"Princess?" Tinkerbelle called out before the alarm grew in her voice as Emma kept moving with barely a 'Sorry Tink' to spare. "Emma? Emma where are you going?!"

"Today's the day!" Emma said as her only means of explanation as she saddled her horse and smiled even wider. Today was the day. Today was the day! Finally after a wait she couldn't even believe she'd made it through.

"The day - Emma what are you … oh goodness, Emma, surely you don't mean what I think you mean. Five years he's been gone. Five years without a single word from that boy and you still believe he's coming back here?"

A sharp pang hit Emma in the chest at the doubt she could hear in her friend's voice, but underneath it Emma knew it came from a place of caring. Tink didn't mean to be a skeptic after all, but she was protective of Emma as her magical charge, and despite all appearances Tinkerbelle was a scrappy one. She had a temper that flared when the people she cared about were threatened, and Emma had to appreciate that kind of loyalty even if the lack of faith in Killian made her heart hurt.

"He didn't need to send word," Emma said with all the patience she could muster, looking back at Tink as she spoke. "He was with me all the while. In every sunny day, in every falling star… he was here, Tink. He was always here."

"Oh Emma," Tink said, this time not with doubt but with a warmth Emma more readily expected from her friend. Now Tink's eyes filled with understanding, and at the very least Emma knew Tink admired her propensity for hope. "Tell me you've at least told your parents about this escapade."

Now Emma laughed aloud, shaking her head as she got on her horse and stroked the gentle beast's neck with affection.

"There was no time," Emma said with a gleeful smile. "Besides, you know how my Mom loves a good surprise."

Emma heard the grumblings from Tink that said they both knew the opposite was actually true, but Emma didn't dare to stall any longer. She wished Tink a fond goodbye, knowing it was only a matter of time before Tink reported the news to her parents. Her mother would of course be moved to a 'state' as they all liked to call it, but Emma knew her father would rise to the occasion, calming Queen Snow in that way only he could ever do, and by the time Emma and Killian were back the palace would be prepped and ready for his welcome. That, however, was hardly of concern to Emma, for the only thing that mattered was getting to the harbor swiftly and ending this long spell apart once and for all.

After a full out ride that was probably the fastest any person had ever made it from the palace to the sea in the history of the kingdom, Emma could see the outline of the town and the ocean before them. The docks were hidden from here, but a pulsing sense of energy moved through Emma, swirling within her system as she and her trusty steed galloped through the streets to her destination that they finally found without too much delay.

Jumping down from her horse, Emma felt a tingling sensation coursing through her. Her nerves were all right there at the surface, as if every feeling was sparking all at once. Years and years of missing Killian and convincing herself he'd be here were coming to the forefront but fear was nowhere to be found in the heady mix of all Emma's emotions. Instead she closed her eyes, expelled a heavy breath, and let herself relax, grounding herself in the trust she'd always have in Killian.

"Swan."

The voice could have been a figment of her imagination, but the tone was different than before. All of the previous boyish hints had faded, but none of the feeling had been lost, and none of the adoration had ebbed away in all this time. For a second Emma remained frozen, almost unable to believe that this could be really happening, but then she opened her eyes she saw Killian standing before her, looking at her like a man who was seeing sunlight for the first time in years.

"Killian," Emma whispered, feeling so choked up with relief joy that she barely recognized herself. It didn't matter though, for the smile that tugged at Killian's lips turned into a full blown grin when she called out his name, and his cerulean eyes shone with enough raw emotion to tell Emma he hadn't forgotten her in any way and that his love had grown through their too-long absence just as hers had.

The next thing she knew they were both in motion, coming together for an embrace so many years in the making. And when Emma was back in Killian's arms once more, something that had been lost inside her clicked back into place. Finally she had the peace and exhilaration of loving and being loved in return that had been absent for years. Killian was back, and her heart was restored, making the whole world a brighter and more impossibly beautiful place. This was what it felt like when two souls that were meant to be together found their way again, and Emma swore silently to herself as she held onto Killian for dear life that she wouldn't let such a separation come again. He was here and he was hers, and she was just as much his in return. So no matter what life may bring, Emma was sure they'd face it together side by side as they were always meant to.

The kiss they shared then out there in the street with no care of passing townspeople was just as passionate and heated as the ones Emma dreamed of every day since he had left. It was a testament on both their parts of love so pure it couldn't be dulled, and it almost hurt to break away, but when they did, both of them trying to catch their breath, Emma took the utmost comfort in the molten cobalt color of his gaze, that took in all her features with an appreciation and admiration that spoke to the true and unyielding force of his feelings for her.

"Gods how I love you, Emma," he said then, and Emma felt a blush creep over her cheeks even as she smiled. She could tell he hadn't meant to say that so bluntly, and the way he moved to scratch behind his ear was a sure tell that he was slightly embarrassed by the outburst, but she couldn't regret it in any way.

"Oh really?" Emma teased, running her hand over his chest lovingly as she tilted her head and arched a brow. "How much would you say?"

"More than a man can love anyone or anything in this life, Emma. You're everything, as you well know, and I've every intention of proving that to you for the rest of our lives."

Emma was about to make another witty comeback, but then Killian pulled something from his pocket and the next thing she knew he was kneeling before her right there, pouring out his heart and asking for the kind of commitment she'd been ready for for years. The ring he offered was beautiful too; an unbelievably clear and sparkling yellow diamond, but Emma wouldn't have cared what it looked like. All that mattered was the love Killian was offering her, and the chance at happiness she'd always wanted with him since she was but a girl.

"I realize that you deserve far more than this moment, swan. I should have planned this in a way befitting a princess, but I can't bear to wait a moment longer. Not after so much time apart. I love you, Emma, and I need you to know that my dream has always been to see you happy, and I know in my heart that together we'll find that…"

"Yes!" she said then, completely ignoring that he hadn't asked a question, but it mattered not to Killian who was back on his feet in a second, slipping the ring on her finger before pulling her into his arms and twirling her to the point where her feet came off the ground. Emma laughed in that moment, feeling lighter than air, and only after they'd kissed again, sealing this promise with passion and love did he smile at her, pushing back a wayward curl that had fallen from her golden braid just behind her ear.

"So you'll marry me, love?"

"That's a given, sailor," Emma replied, running her hand along his jaw affectionately before kissing him once more and taking his hand in hers, leading him back home and to the life two such loving souls deserved to have together for now and always.

…..

 _I was young so I forgot_

 _Which was my place and which was not_

 _Thought I had a good shot_

 _I took it right in my eye_

 _Look ahead, look behind_

 _Take another, I don't mind_

 _I, oh, I, oh_

 _Follow the signs right back to you_

 _Back to you, back to you_

 _I know they wind right back to you_

 _Back to you_

 _So, put a posy in your hair_

 _Pretend you couldn't give a care_

 _Whistle past the graveyard_

 _Even the dead deserve a song_

 _Let the moon do what she does_

 _She don't need to make a fuss_

 _She don't know she shines for us_

 _Something tells me that she does_

 _Follow the signs right back to you_

 _Back to you, back to you_

 _I know they wind right back to you_

 _Back to you, back to you_

 _Time after time, I follow signs_

 _I know they wind right back to you_

 _Love, lower your eyes_

 _Leave me a sign_

 _Follow the signs right back to you_

 _Back to you, back to you_

 _I know they wind right back to you_

 _Back to you, back to you_

 _I trust the signs so I may find my way to you_

 _Back to you, back to you_

 _Follow the signs right back to you_

 _ **Post Note: So first and foremost thank you to the reader who requested this trope. I know it took me forever to write it, but it was such a nice break from school and I am so grateful for that. Also want to thank all of you sweethearts who have been rereading this mixtape and my other stories in my absence. To all of you who have commented and reached out, and to those of you who are just so good at doing so when my new chapters finally do come out, you are great and I appreciate you! Hope all is well with each and every one of you and thanks again for reading!**_


	168. This Love of Mine

_**A/N: Hey everyone, not sure if this is technically cannon divergent because it has been so long since I've watched season 3, but I feel like we didn't get an exact scene where Killian got the message about finding Emma in New York. Then I was listening to this song the other day and I felt like it was a great one to write that scene to. Don't worry though, there's also a flash forward where Captain Swan has long since been reunited and it's just full on fluff. This drabble goes with 'This Love of Mine' by Frank Sinatra. Anyway, thanks for reading and hope you all enjoy!**_

 _Staring off into the distance beyond the confines of the Jolly, Killian felt an all too familiar sensation that something was missing. Something that he needed, an essence that had unknowingly revived a central part of him was gone, and he was left here aimless and unmoored as a ship without a port or an anchor or a path to sail._

 _The missing piece, of course was obvious. There was an infuriatingly alluring and all together too remarkable woman a world away from him who had done this to his heart. Emma Swan, with all her walls and all her guards in place, had snuck past his own defenses. She'd forced light into a world he had purposely kept dark and all that warmth and energy and vibrancy she'd shared with him was tantalizing. He was starved for that kind of connection, and then, because he deserved nothing even close to the magic that was Emma, it had all been forced away again. A curse had come, a story had ended, and here he remained, back in the darkness of before but blinded by the fleeting chances he had had with Emma and changed forever because of it._

"There's not a day that will go by where I won't think of you," _he'd told her, and Gods above how true that had been. But it was her response that haunted him most, and the look in her eyes when they'd departed that kept him awake in the wee hours of the morning even now._

"Good."

 _One simple word, one blip in the hundreds of years of his life had shaken every foundation, for there was so much more in that agreement than what appeared at the surface. Suddenly he felt that there truly might have been an opportunity to seek something out with Emma. He could feel her trust, and he could also feel her sadness, a sadness he'd give anything the realms over to have spared her. Somehow his motivations for everything had shifted of late, and suddenly the one drive that trumped all others was the one that sought Emma's happiness over everything else._

" _But she is happy," Killian whispered aloud to the empty space along the deck where he resided. "Regina said they would be."_

 _And though Killian and the Queen had a history together, one that hardly stood the test of truthfulness, Killian knew she was honest this time. She would never have risked Henry's chance to be happy, even if it meant that Regina herself would never move on from the memories they shared. What the Queen lacked in decency to the rest of the world, she made up for with her son, and no matter what anyone said, her love for the lad was a constant and an assurance that somewhere, realms away from here, Emma and Henry were okay._

 _He on the other hand, was far from well, and since drinking himself into a stupor hadn't worked (mostly because there always seemed to be this niggling voice in the back of his mind asking whether Emma would approve that kept him from going too far), he was resigned now to taking another path. This path was a quieter, lonelier one than even he was used to, but it was the only thing he wanted. The old thrills of a portside town held nothing for him now, just as banditry and piracy had lost their lush appeal. Only the sea provided any kind of solace, and so tonight he'd set his whole crew off ship, even the typical watchers and guards, to have some time alone. It wasn't a cure by any means though, for the ghost of Emma lingered still, as prevalent and prominent as the waves lapping along the ship's wooden sides._

" _Get a hold of yourself, Killian. You have to let it go… I have to let it go," he said into the night, knowing it would make no difference. He'd tried a thousand times before but there was no wishing this away. The memories lingered, the prickling sense of regret remained, but where others in Emma's life might have preached for hope, he had none. This was what he deserved after everything he'd done. All the bad he'd partaken in, all the mistakes he had made, earned him this pain, this loss of love when he'd never dreamed a second change possible in the first place._

 _In that moment of despair a soft_ coo _sounded above him and Killian looked out on the water to see a white dove. A strange creature for these parts, but what was stranger was the attachment to it's leg. There was a note there, and a parcel of some kind. It was all very odd, and then, just like that, his whole world changed as he unfurled the piece of paper and found the meaning of this sudden appearance. The message it contained was written in haste but the intent could not have been clearer and the most important words rang over and over in Killian's mind._

Find Emma. Make her remember. Bring her home.

 _Only a few seconds passed where Killian debated what he should do and it wasn't because of any lack of want to see her. No, if it were up to him, he'd have moved in an instant, but there was one small thought for what he would be ruining if he did go. Chances were Emma would have to sacrifice for what was to come. To save her family, to save all of the people of Storybrooke, she'd likely have to do as she'd always done – she'd have to give up what was easy and take the harder road, and if he could he'd keep that from happening. He would spare Emma, but in the end there was no choice. She was needed, and he… well he was the man so desperate to see her again that it almost didn't matter if it was the right thing to do. He'd do whatever it took to see her again, and so he did, comforting himself with the simple fact that though Emma might be giving up everything, he was giving it all up too to give her a chance, and to maybe grant the two of them one at the same time if somehow – someway – things did work out as he wished in the end._

…

"Killian?"

The question came from beside where he was standing at the Jolly's edge and Killian focused back on the present moment, glad for the fact that the voice of his companion was none other than Emma herself. Years had passed, their world had radically shifted, and now the trials they'd faced before seemed long gone. That slip into the darkness of before was just that, a trick of the mind, and here before him instead of sorrow there was a light he'd never imagined possible back when he was a villain and a pirate and nothing more.

Turning back around he found exactly what he expected, his Swan looking every bit a vision as her loose curls danced about in the wind, and in her arms their three year old daughter – their little Hope – with wide eyes of excitement trained on him and clearly filled with appreciation for this vessel and their time at sea. His daughter was on track for filling her father's shoes as a sailor, but with Emma as a mother, and the goodness their life in Storybrooke now had in abundance, he didn't worry for her future. Their little lass would live a happy life, safe and surrounded by a family who loved her and protected her from any harms the worlds over.

"Aye, love?" he asked, ready and willing to yield to any wish his wife might mention right now.

"Your little lieutenant has a special request this evening," Emma said before deferring to Hope who reached out for him, smiling and looking so like her mother as she did.

"Is that so?" Killian asked with a chuckle, taking Hope in his arms and placing her on his hip with a casual nature that told how commonplace this had become for all of them.

"Let's go fast, Daddy!" Hope said excitedly, prompting a laugh from both Killian and his lovely wife. The two of them shared a look, acknowledging that they'd take the Jolly for a swifter jaunt than usual, but nowhere near as fast as she could go during times of need. This kind of excursion could only be taken because there was no real danger in sight, but neither Killian nor Emma would ever put their daughter at undue risk for any reason.

"If that's what my princess wishes, it's what she'll have," Killian replied jovially, pressing a kiss to Hope's temple before setting her down with Emma and going about procuring the happiness of the two most important people in his life.

Later that night, after a speedy sail around the harbor, a dinner under the stars, and putting their little lass to bed, the memory of that previous life still lingered with him, and in typical fashion his Swan knew right away. So when they'd said goodnight to Hope, and left her room hand in hand, Emma stopped him for a moment, checking in and reminding Killian that she was there for him just as he was there for her.

"Everything all right?" Emma asked and Killian could only pull her in for a kiss, one still as searing and passionate as all they'd shared before. There was no ebb in the spark between them, and when they pulled back, his wife's face had flushed a perfect shade of pink that his hook brushed ever so gently.

"Everything is nearly perfect, Swan."

"Only nearly, huh?" She asked with a smirk as her eyes flicked down to his lips and her hand ran over his chest. That was it – he was lost to her just as he always seemed to be, and Killian was happy to be as such, because being lost in Emma was exactly the kind of happily ever after his long weary heart had always needed. It was, for lack of a better turn of phrase, perfection itself.

"Aye, but not to worry, love, I've every intention of seeing we reach that _completely_ perfect state before the night is through," he whispered before sweeping his lovely wife into his arms, pulling a muffled laugh from her as he carried her back to bed and delivered on that insinuated promise over and over again.

….

 _This love of mine goes on and on_

 _Though life is empty since you have gone_

 _You're always on my mind, though out of sight_

 _It's lonesome through the day_

 _But oh, the night_

 _I cry my heart out, it's bound to break_

 _Since nothing matters, let it break_

 _I ask the sun and the moon, the stars that shine_

 _What's to become of it, this love of mine_

 _I ask the sun and the moon, the stars that shine_

 _What's to become of it, this love of mine_

 _This love of mine_

 _ **Post-Note: So hopefully you guys enjoyed this little bit of fluff! Sorry if I've just been so stupid as to forget an already lovely scene about Killian getting the message, but I figure it never hurts to reimagine things right? After all, there's so many ways CS could have gotten to a happy ending, and half the fun is crafting out those ways. Anyway thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day and that you're all enjoying the holiday season!**_


	169. Ten Minutes Ago

_**A/N: Reader requested EF AU set to one of my favorite songs, 'Ten Minutes Ago' from Rodger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella. In essence I have made a Cinderella-like fic and placed it in the setting of a royal Christmas ball. Because honestly, why not throw more holiday spirit into everything? In this I am also writing what I believe may be a first for me – Killian is the prince and Emma is the Cinderella figure. This is a sweet, short slice of what could have been a full multi-chapter AU. But until I find the time to write that up, I thank my lovely reader who suggested it and I hope you all enjoy!**_

Watching the snow covered world pass by from the window of this horse drawn carriage, Emma Swan couldn't help but feel like this was all a dream.

Not that anyone could blame her really. After all, fairy godmothers and magic were supposed to be just the making of childhood stories, but tonight that had been proven incorrect. One moment Emma had been barely holding it together, saddened and dejected by the cruelty of her situation. Usually she could bare it to some degree, holding onto to the belief that if she was good and kind and brave, someday things would be different. But on this Christmas Eve, when every eligible maiden was invited to King Liam's winter ball, Emma felt like all that faith in something better was for nothing. She was trapped in the tiny corner of hell where she'd been living for years, locked in her attic room with no way out, no finery befitting the evening, and no hope that she'd even have a way of getting to the castle if she was freed from this cage.

But then magic made real had flown into the picture, and she was dressed in a sparkling gown of green that shimmered and sparkled in a hue all its own. Tinkerbelle, her name had been, and from the moment Tink arrived at Emma's window tonight, the tiny, dimming light of hope Emma had been clinging onto for all these wretched years sparked a little bit brighter. She was smiling again, and doing everything in her power to enjoy this one night. For that was all it could ever be… one perfect night to change her life, if only for a moment. Because when the clock struck midnight she'd go back to the life she had before and that would be that. The magic would fade away and she'd return to the girl she was, simple and ordinary and inconsequential.

Emma shook the thought away, promising herself that such thoughts were over. She would not waste a second of this precious Christmas gift with sadness or regret. Instead she'd savor every part of tonight, from the majesty of her mice turned to horses leading the charge through the freshly fallen snow, to the way the castle looked so picturesquely beautiful as they pulled up to where the ball was taking place. Looking at it from her window Emma almost forgot to breathe, but then she collected herself, smiling at the attendant and tilting her head to the side curiously when he addressed her as 'Princess.' That was quite an assumption to make on the spot, but then again this crimson gown that Tinkerbelle had crafted for Emma was remarkable, and no person she knew could ever dream to replicate it without magic or a material wealth reserved for royals.

The next thing she knew Emma had been led up the stairs and into the palace, trying to take in every wreath and garland and perfect decoration that spoke to more wealth and affluence than Emma could even imagine. Only after a moment, did Emma realize, however, that she was arriving rather late. No one remained in the entryway save for palace staff, meaning that everyone else must be inside already. A prickling of unease came upon her then, for she hated the idea of standing out from the crowd, but what was there to do at this point? She'd come all of this way, and it would be foolish to turn back now. No. She had to keep going. It was the only way.

"Okay, you can do this Emma," she whispered to herself in attempt at stern self-council. "Just breathe. Just breathe."

With one last steadying breath and a rushed sort of prayer that she didn't trip and make a fool of herself, Emma made her way to the landing and looked down below. It was the first time she'd ever seen a gathering like this, with all the dancing, and the music, and the splendor of it all. The room was adorned in golden hues made more prominent by the reds and greens and whites of Christmas. There were massive trees that must have come from deep within the forest in each corner of the room, and the general merriment of the festivities was palpable, leaving a buzzing kind of energy all throughout the space. Emma immediately fell in love with all of it, soaking in the excitement and the ambiance all around, but then something changed. A hush fell over the room and suddenly everyone was looking at her. Emma felt her cheeks warm at the attention and part of her wanted to turn tail and run for the closest exit, but then her eyes landed on one man among the crowd of people and her heart skipped as a sense of something familiar washed over her.

Handsome was a word many people would use to describe such a man, and they wouldn't be wrong per se, but Emma didn't think it did him justice. He was… god she didn't know what he was, but this zinging sense of rightness tingled through her as she made her way down the stairs, and she couldn't help as she descended the way her eyes tracked every part of him. That dark hair, those unbelievably blue eyes, and that handsome face held her captivated. She was so taken in she had no idea how she made it down the final set of steps, but as she'd made her way, the mysterious man had made a journey of his own, not attempting in any way to hide his objective of getting close to her. Emma smiled at the thought and the look in his eyes that told her she wasn't the only one feeling this pull between them, but then her smile prompted a grin from him in kind and Emma was just as overwhelmed as she'd been at first sight.

Somewhere in the midst of all of that though, things began to piece together. Given the finery of his clothes and the seal of the noble house of Jones on his jacket, Emma realized he must be someone important, but only when she heard the murmurings rumbling through the crowd around them did she realize in full. This wasn't just any nobleman; it was Prince Killian, younger brother of the king, and the man who this ball was intended for. Tonight he was supposed to find a proper match, and of all the people in the palace, he chose to be here now with her, making Emma feel wonderful and wildly anxious all at once. What could she – a common kitchen girl – possibly have to say to a prince? She hardly knew, but she had to figure it out and quickly too.

"Your highness," Emma said as means of introduction, curtseying in a way she hoped passed for polite, but when she was done the prince said nothing. Instead he stepped toward her, taking her hand in his, his thumb brushing ever so slightly against her skin and leaving a blissful, sparkling sense of desire and awareness flowing through her as his eyes traced every feature of her face. She was so dizzy from it all that Emma almost forgot the fact that he hadn't yet spoken, but a voice to the right of them alerted Prince Killian of his need for action.

"Well don't just stand there, mate. Ask the lady to dance."

Emma looked over to find a man in knight's garb grinning from ear to ear, and then she heard the prince grumbling about 'that damned Scarlet' but when she turned back to look at Prince Killian again all the intensity of before remained locked on her. In those cerulean eyes she saw so much that would go unsaid, and it left that twisting twirl of want and anticipation fluttering all the more low in her stomach. She'd never felt so frazzled and free all at once, and then he offered her another smile, this one turned up slightly at the side and she was lost.

"Would you do me the great honor of dancing with me, Princess…?" he asked her, and Emma wanted to correct him and clear the air now. She was no princess, but she was also unable to form those words. She was falling into the silken sensation of the gravel of his voice against her skin, and it felt like the only choice she had was to tell him her name, since that was clearly what he wanted."

"Emma."

"Emma," he murmured in reply, as if he was tasting her name on his tongue and finding he loved it. The way her ordinary name sounded so transformed on his lips was enough to have Emma reeling, but that sensation was only made more prominent as Killian led her to the dance floor that was now cleared of anyone else.

"Everyone's watching us," Emma whispered to him after a few turns about the room, reluctant to keep staring at him even though it was what she wanted most to do. She was giving too much away, showing too much affection for a man she didn't even know, but Emma couldn't help feeling a sense of loss when her eyes left his gaze. Then the apprehension of earlier returned as she saw the eyes of everyone in the ballroom fixed on the two of them.

"Are they?" Killian asked in a distracted tone, pulling Emma's eyes back to his where she found he'd never looked away from her. "I'll have to take your word for it, since it seems I'm powerless to see anything but you."

"Are you always this charming?" Emma asked then as she fought off another blush and Killian chuckled lightly, shaking his head.

"I don't think anyone has ever called me charming, Princess, especially at a Christmas ball."

"Not a fan of the season?" Emma asked, genuinely curious as to why that would be, especially when he was nothing but a gentleman with her in every way. Or rather _most_ ways. Emma doubted that gentleman ever held their dance partners quite so close, but she didn't mind that at all. Being here, pressed against his firm body and held in his strong arms, Emma felt safer than she'd ever been, and more desirous than at any time in her life before.

"I used to be, once upon a time," he said thoughtfully, and Emma watched as his eyes fogged up a bit with some memory he must be revisiting.

"But not anymore," Emma observed, expecting him to agree, and feeling the surprise when he smiled again.

"Well now I'm not so sure. You see this was shaping up to be the same kind of Christmas as all the others, dark and dreary and missing that certain something everyone wants this time of year. But then an angel in red appeared before me and now suddenly everything is different."

Where there words to respond to such a compliment? Emma didn't know of any if they did exist, but she smiled back at him and let it hang there between them as Killian effortlessly twirled her across the dance floor. One song flowed into another, and now more people had joined them on the floor though Emma barely noticed. Instead she was grounded in this perfect little bubble where a man who made her breathless held her in his arms with a care and reverence she didn't know could even exist.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming, love," the prince said aloud a moment later, and Emma watched as the realization that he'd just said those words and called her such an affectionate name sank in. The flush that spread in response was endearing, just as it was when his hand came to scratch behind his ear in a show of slight embarrassment. "Forgive me. That was too familiar. It's just… all night I've been standing here, saddled with responsibility, trying to do my brother proud though I couldn't stand to be here, and then you walk in and all of that is gone. I spent the whole night praying for this evening to end, and now I never want it too."

"We only met ten minutes ago," Emma replied with an attempted smirk that probably didn't play as confident and self-assured as she wanted. Try as she might she couldn't appear unfazed by Prince Killian or his words since they meant so much to her.

"And I only needed one to know," Killian murmured as one of his hands came up to graze her cheek. Emma leaned into the action, feeling her breathing speed up as she did.

"Know what?" she asked and at that Killian grinned again.

"That you're different," he confessed and Emma looked away, slightly ashamed that she'd been figured out so soon. Then he stopped dancing and his hand came to tilt her chin back up to look at him. "That you're special."

"If you really knew me, you might not be so sure," Emma said, hearing the defeated tone of her voice and watching as Killian shook his head, not thwarted in the slightest.

"Let me prove you wrong. Let me show you what I know is here between us," he implored her and Emma tilted her head in question. She wanted to go with him, on that there was no doubt. But could she trust her judgment tonight? Was she capable of guarding her heart enough to keep it safe when all of this was over, when she had such a night and such a man to tempt her? Emma didn't know, but Killian must have read her mind as he made a final plea. "All I need is for you to trust me, and I swear I'll show you there was never any need to fear."

Pacified by his promise Emma nodded and she allowed the Prince to pull her out from the ball and into the courtyard outside. The music from inside still wafted out to here but it was softer now, flittering through the windows and the doors in a soft and soothing kind of hum. Emma thought to herself in that moment as she gazed upon the snowy scape before them that it should have been freezing out here, chilled as the world was this time of year, but through some enchantment Emma couldn't quite place the air around them remained mild and the lantern lights glowed, illuminating the bluer hues of late night stars in a similar gold to the ones within the palace.

They stayed out there for what felt like mere minutes, but Emma knew from all they said that it must have been more time. It was just so easy with him, sitting here, tucked close together hand in hand without a care in the world, and for those hours out there they weren't a prince or a common maid, they were just two people, two people who Emma had to admit, did seem to fit so seamlessly together. If things were different – no, regardless of how things were – it was clear to Emma that Killian was the best kind of man. He was good and kind and honorable, with a love of his brother and his kingdom and his people. He was witty and charming, but never conceited or elitist. And perhaps more than anything else, Killian was the first person in a long time who looked at her like he saw her for all she was. He might not know everything, but Emma couldn't help but feel like he knew her heart and that that was the most important thing. He was a man who was impossible to resist, and after years of never thinking she'd find anything like love Emma had to concede that the stirring in her soul tonight was evidence that love was, in fact, possible.

"Didn't I tell you, love?" Killian asked after a time spent in companionable quiet out there together, and Emma looked back at him with questioning in her eyes as he brought her hand up to kiss ever so gently. "There's something here, something rare and remarkable. Tell me you feel it too."

"I feel it," Emma whispered, hearing the cracks of emotion in her voice brought on by the sheer force of what she was feeling, and the lingering remembrance that soon this would all be just a dream. Tomorrow she'd wake up with all of this out of her reach, and it nearly tore her heart in two to think that way. Then Killian leaned down, taking her lips in a kiss and Emma was both distracted from the pain and imbibed with a new sense of earnest need and wanting. If this kiss – this perfect, passionate embrace – was all she ever had with Killian, then it would have to be enough. She'd never feel this way again, never love as fast or as strongly as she'd fallen tonight, but at least she'd have this beautiful remembrance to see her through the long hard days without him.

The kiss, which started as a gentle assurance of their mutual desire turned to more, slipping past the kind of actions a prince or a lady should be partaking in at a public ball, but Emma didn't care. All that mattered was this connection and this moment, and she soaked all of it in until the last final second when time caught up with her and called her back to reality. The slice of fear that cut through Emma as the clock tower rang out the tones of the midnight bells was instantaneous and at the sound she pulled away from Killian, rising to her feet and looking towards an escape. She had to get out of here or risk ruining this glorious night with a reality that just wasn't the same. Once the magic faded, Killian would see that even if she'd never lied, she'd withheld a crucial truth, and that would change this perfect fairytale to something Emma couldn't begin to dream of handling.

"I'm sorry, tonight's been… well it's been like a dream but I have to go. I'm so sorry."

The words fell past Emma's lips in a rush as she ran from the garden, avoiding the ball that was still carrying on inside and trying her best to get around the estate and towards her carriage once more. She had so little time, so little chance of getting out of here, and then that chance was truly halted when a hand – Killian's hand – reached out to stop her.

"Emma, I don't understand. You have to go? Just like that?"

"I don't want to," Emma said as the next bell tolled and she willed herself not to shed the tears that were forming in her eyes. "But I have to. It's out of my control."

"I can't accept that Emma. If you don't care for me then tell me that. I'm man enough to stand aside if your heart desires another… but if its fear that's guiding you, then please don't run from me. Run to me, love, and whatever it is, we'll face it together."

Emma felt herself shaking with adrenaline as the clock tolled out again. She wanted so badly to give into his plan and to face this by his side. Leaving him was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do, but staying…? Well staying meant the chance that he'd reject her and she didn't think her heart could take it. Before she could say any of that though, he pulled her back further into his arms and kissed her again briefly before speaking the rest of his peace.

"There's nothing you could say that would change my mind, Emma. No secret, no darkness, no story that will change the way I feel for you. I realize its fast, some would say its crazy even, but sometimes you just know when something is right, and I know in my heart that I was meant to find you and that we belong together."

Emma closed her eyes, fighting a war within herself about what to do, but in the end it was the voice inside her heart that led her way. It told her to believe, because maybe – just maybe – this would turn out all right in the end. Maybe it really wouldn't matter, and maybe they could have more than just this one night. There was only one way to know, and it would require her to be braver than she'd ever been. So she didn't pull away from Killian, even as each final tone sounded out in the cold night air, counting down to midnight and revealing the magic for what it was, a glamour covering the simple girl she really was.

Killian's eyes went wide at the transformation, and before he could ask anything, Emma filled in the missing pieces. She told him the absolute truth of who she was and who she wasn't. She told him about Tinkerbelle and the magic, about the constraints on her time and how it couldn't last forever. But most importantly she told him she was sorry, sorry that she'd kept things from him and led him to believe she was anything other than Emma Swan.

"Don't say that," Killian said in the face of her apology, and Emma didn't know what he meant until he pulled her closer again and made his feelings on the subject plain as day. "I hate to think that you'd regret this evening, love. Not when it's been the happiest of my life."

"It has?" Emma asked in shock, truly not expecting his acceptance so quickly. "But what you thought before – what I led you to believe…"

Her words trailed off as Killian brought her hands into his, leading each one up to his lips for a gently kiss as he smiled at her again. "The way I see it, love, nothing has changed."

"What do you mean?" Emma asked, with a charge of emotion clinging to her voice. "Everything's changed! I walked in tonight and you thought I was a princess, and now you know that's not the case. I'm far from royalty, your -,"

Emma's words were cut off before she could finish the thought by Killian pulling her in for a kiss that somehow packed even more passion and want and truth than the ones before. It also allowed Emma to let go of those worries she'd been clinging too only moments ago, and by the time she pulled away, there was nothing on her mind except for the feeling that this was right, and that she never wanted to leave this man who held her like she was the most precious thing in all the realms and like he never wanted to let her go. Even when the kiss had ended she held on tight, her forehead pressed against his as her hands clung to his jacket, unwilling to break the bond between them.

"When I called you Princess tonight, Emma, it wasn't merely speculation based on your gown. It was because I knew, even before I knew your name, that in a perfect world, in a world where dreams could be made real, you would be a princess, _my_ princess. One look was all it took for me, Emma. I saw you and I knew. Call it fate, call it destiny, call it love at first sight, but the only thing that mattered – the only thing that will ever matter – is you, love."

"And what about your brother?" Emma asked. "What about the kingdom?"

"I know that they will see what I see in you. No matter where you come from, Emma, you are still you, and that in itself is more than enough."

This time it was Emma who pulled Killian in for a kiss, loving the feel of him and finally allowing herself to believe in his words. He really did want her, and now she felt like she could be honest with herself in how much she wanted him too. Nothing before had ever meant so much to her, and she was so consumed by this embrace she almost missed the crackling aura of magic surrounding her once more. When they did come up for air though, Emma was shocked, watching the rags she'd been wearing before transform back into her crimson dress once more.

"But Tink said it couldn't last… that the magic was only strong enough for one night." Emma said, unable to understand how she was once again dressed in the garments Tink had bestowed upon her until Killian offered a potential answer.

"What magic could ever be stronger than true love?"

"Love?" Emma asked, shocked at the word but unafraid of its implication. This was fast, yes, but what was it he'd said only a moment before? Sometimes you just know…

"Aye. I love you Emma Swan, and I want to spend my whole life showing you just how much," he said looking at her with a hope and a certainty that awed her as his hand reached inside his jacket and removed a ring. Then, right there in the snow covered garden he got down on one knee and plead for the chance. "I never believed this would happen tonight, love, mostly because I never knew a love so strong awaited me. But now I know, and I've no intention of turning my back on such a gift. You are all I need, Emma. You are the magic that my life has been missing. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she replied, happy tears streaming down her face. "Yes, Killian I will marry you."

And with that there was much more celebration to be had. The engagement was announced and a wedding soon followed, and Killian was proved right in his earlier beliefs. For Emma was beloved by the people and her new family too, and there was never any question of where she belonged and what she deserved. From that point on Christmas time carried even more cheer and happiness than in the years before, and as for Emma and Killian, well they did what so many souls who share true love do: they lived happily ever after.

…..

 _Ten minutes ago, I saw you_

 _I looked up when you came through the door_

 _My head started reeling_

 _You gave me the feeling_

 _The room had no ceiling or floor_

 _Ten minutes ago, I met you_

 _And we murmured our "How do you do's?"_

 _I wanted to ring out the bells_

 _And fling out my arms_

 _And to sing out the news_

 _"I have found her, she's an angel_

 _With the dust of the stars in her eyes_

 _We are dancing, we are flying_

 _And she's taking me back to the skies"_

 _In the arms of my love, I'm flying_

 _Over mountain and meadow and glen_

 _And I like it so well_

 _That for all I can tell_

 _I may never come down again_

 _I may never come down to earth again_

 _Ten minutes ago, I met you_

 _And we murmured our "How do you do's?"_

 _I wanted to ring out the bells_

 _And fling out my arms_

 _And to sing out the news_

 _I have found him_

 _In the arms of my love, I'm flying_

 _Over mountain and meadow and glen_

 _And I like it so well_

 _That for all I can tell_

 _I may never come down again_

 _I may never come down to earth again_

 _ **Post-Note: So once again I just want to say thank you to the lovely reader who suggested this song. It was quite a while ago that I got this request (as any of you who have asked for songs know, I take FOREVER to get around to them since there are so many), but finally my muse showed me a way to make all my usual fluff and share it with others. So I am very thankful for the request, and for all of my readers who have sent some of their own. Know that I have a list of them all, and though my writing has been so much less frequent because of this program, some day I hope to get to each and every one of them! Anyway if you celebrate I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and if not, wishing you all lovely winters filled with lots of CS and fic cuteness galore!**_


	170. Take Me Out

_**A/N: Reader requested College AU oneshot where Emma and Killian are lab partners and she's been waiting for him to get his shit together and ask her out, but it's the final class of the semester and Emma has grown tired of waiting. My reader didn't give a me a song for this one (just specifically asked that there be some very slight angst before a fluffy end) but I think it couples pretty perfectly with a song that I really enjoy, 'Take Me' by Aly and AJ. Hope you guys enjoy and thank you all for reading!**_

Distraction had never been a word in Emma Swan's vocabulary. In the past it had been synonymous with missed opportunities and the risk of failure, two things she couldn't ever abide by. As a foster kid who was always aware that the cards were stacked against her, Emma had to work twice as hard as everyone else to get the basics that so many others took for granted. As a result she'd always been driven and determined, with her eye on the prize of graduation and a more stable life than the one she'd known as a child.

Sure, there were plenty of people and things that had tried to lay claim to her attention, but Emma never paid any of them any mind. Everything was compartmentalized in her world. Her best friends, who she really did love so much, knew the score and never tried to interfere with Emma's hard work and sacrifice, and everyone else… well they never really seemed to matter. She didn't give anyone the power to get in her head or stand in her way, but recently there had been one person who was proving harder and harder to keep in the relatively small box where he _should_ belong.

The guy in question's name was Killian Jones and he was her Advanced Chemistry I lab partner. He was also certifiably hot, had an accent that made girls the campus over weak in the knees, and a smile that tilted up just to one side, making his already bright blue eyes all the more entrancing. In a word he was trouble, but try as she might to resist his charm, Emma was just as taken in as everyone else seemed to be because that was how Killian was. He might be cocky and sarcastic and a jock (god save her), but he was also smart and kind and thoughtful, and after a few days of fearing that she'd been sentenced to a terrible semester, Emma had spent the last couple of months falling a little bit more for Killian Jones every day.

"Hard to believe this is our last class together, love."

The words were undoubtedly Killian's, and Emma didn't even need to turn around to know it was him, but her eyes couldn't stop themselves and she glanced over to find him looking just as gorgeous as he did every other day. God, didn't he see how unfair that was? Here she was trying to go about her business and get the perfect grades she needed for a med school scholarship, and meanwhile he was just so… Killian. It was infuriating in a way, but more than anything it was exciting and wild and felt oh so very needed in Emma's pretty dull and boring life.

"You mean this is the end of the chemistry line for you?" Emma teased back, finding her voice as she always did even though it was hard when her pulse raced as fast as it did around him. "And here you were just starting to get good."

"Only _just_ starting?" He asked with a grin, making her stomach flip and those butterflies spastically flutter around inside her chest. "I think you and I both know I've been a master of chemical equations and elemental interactions for quite some time, Swan."

"I'm just saying, there's always Advanced Chemistry II in the spring…"

"Trust me, love, if there were any way to take the class and graduate on time it'd be you and me right here same time next semester."

"Oh right, because it's not enough for you to be soccer captain, you needed your fancy economics degree too," Emma joked, though she was actually really impressed that he was more than some airhead who wanted to coast through school on his looks and charisma alone. "Speaking of, you never told me how you ended up in this class. Seems kind of out there for an econ major."

At that question Emma swore she saw the faintest trace of a blush on his cheeks and Killian moved to scratch behind his ear, a tell that Emma had picked up on that gave him away as being less than comfortable. Unknowingly she'd just stumbled on some big thing, but she couldn't imagine what it was. Now her curiosity was exponentially growing, but she had to wait on him to fill her in, in the meantime keeping busy with the lab before them.

"You want the truth?" Killian asked and Emma looked up, nodding immediately. She had a thing about lying after all, and to this point one of her favorite things about Killian was that he never lied. He was honest with her and that honesty had set a foundation of trust Emma rarely allowed herself to establish with strangers. "It was a mistake, love. I entered the wrong class by one digit in registration, and I didn't realize my error until the first day of classes."

"So why didn't you just switch?" Emma asked, confused as to why he would stay, but the look in Killian's eyes just then, the one that said he was feeling so much that almost didn't need to be said took her breath away. It wasn't the first time Emma had seen this look either. They'd been dancing around this attraction for weeks, and she wondered if this would truly be the moment where they crossed that line. Oh how she wished it would be.

"Because by some stroke of luck I got partnered with you, and only a fool would turn a chance like that down, minimal prior knowledge of chemistry or not."

Emma thought back through the early days of their partnership and she tried to understand what Killian was saying. He was claiming that he'd stayed in a class he had no expertise in for her, and she could tell given that super power of hers that he was serious. There were also signs that she'd just overlooked of that lack of knowledge being present. There were obvious questions he wasn't so well versed in at the start of all of this, but he'd always been ready and willing to learn and soon enough there was no gap between them. Emma had just thought he needed time to get into the swing of the semester. She never imagined he was learning all of this just to stay close to her. Even if she suspected that he liked her too, it never crossed her mind that he'd go to all these lengths to impress her or stay close to her. She was really touched by that, and she wanted to find the right words to tell him how much that meant to her and how she was glad he hadn't left when Killian filled the silent space between them once more.

"Look, Emma, there's something I've been trying to say to you from the start," he said quickly, moving so he was standing only an inch or so away from her. His eyes were locked on hers and with how close they were now Emma could feel the heat between them and that ever-present rush Killian always brought, but she was struck still by a need to know what he was going to say. "God I've already gone and made a mess of this. It's just that I was wondering if, well, maybe, perhaps you might –,"

In an almost tragically timed turn of events their professor chose exactly that moment to interrupt by calling the attention of the whole class, reiterating an infuriatingly straight forward part of this final project and telling everyone things that they already knew. Usually Emma wouldn't be so mad about that, but right now she knew – she could just feel it way down in her bones – that Killian was finally going to make his move. Because of that it felt like forever to wait for their instructor to finish speaking, but when he did Emma didn't want to forget the moment they'd been on the cusp of just before.

"So… you were saying something earlier?" She asked, looking back over at Killian and finding him looking even more flustered than he had been before when he was stumbling with his words.

"Oh, right. It was nothing, love. Forget I said anything."

 _Forget he said anything?!_ How was she supposed to do that? Had she had it wrong all these weeks and read too much into all of this? Maybe she wasn't as astute an observer as she once thought, but either way the sinking pit in Emma's stomach at that moment was so severe she suddenly felt an old instinct that hadn't kicked in in a long time. All of a sudden she felt like the only thing to do was run, and so she did. She grabbed her stuff, avoiding eye contact with Killian as she did, she made a barely there excuse to her professor, knowing that she and Killian had had this project done weeks ago, and fled from the classroom, not letting herself think or process any of what just happened. She just kept moving, not at a sprint but a walk too brisk for comfort. Emma didn't even know where she was going, but then she was stopped eventually by a familiar voice.

"Emma? What the hell are you doing here, don't you have class?" The voice belonged to her best friend and roommate Ruby Lucas and Emma heeded her friend's call, slowing to a stop and finding that she was all the way across campus now when she hadn't meant to be. She tried for a moment not to look at Ruby, knowing her friend would read in a second that something was wrong, but there was no fighting it. Ruby always sniffed the truth out sooner or later. "Emma what happened?"

In minutes Emma had filled Ruby in on the whole tale, not bothering to hide from the more embarrassing details, but while Ruby was patient and empathetic and understanding, she did interrupt Emma at one point. "Wait, so you just left? Why didn't you say something? Hell, why didn't you just kiss him already?!"

"Are you serious?" Emma asked, looking around to make sure no one had overheard Ruby's yelled out advice. "He said it was _nothing_ , Ruby."

"Oh, Emma," Ruby said shaking her head and leading Emma by the arm back in the direction of the dorms. "That is not what he meant and you know it. That boy is in love with you. He would never do anything to purposefully hurt you."

"Ruby-,"

"No! No interruptions. You talked and I listened, now you listen while I talk. Anyone with two eyes and a brain in their head can tell that the two of you are crazy for each other. Neither of you is making any attempt to hide that fact, and if you are, then honey you desperately need a new poker face." Emma groaned at the thought that everyone knew her feelings as Ruby pressed on, not lingering in that line of thought. "You picked a good one, Ems. Killian is smart and funny and obviously like stupid hot, but there is one thing about the man that your heart decided on that's less than pristine. And do you know what that is?"

"Uh, he's a jock?" Ruby rolled her eyes at that and ignored Emma's attempt at a joke.

"He's incapable of making a move, probably because he's so busy thinking the world of you that he can't get the words out. Meanwhile you're fabulous but guarded. You're cool as a cucumber until your heart gets thrown in the mix and since you like him you're just as chicken as he is. Well that ends tonight. We are going to that totally cliché winter 'dance' the athletics teams are sponsoring and we are fixing this once and for all. We'll call it Operation Get the Guy."

"Oh God please no code names," Emma said even as she felt a little stirring of hope in her chest. "But do you mean it, Ruby? You really think he's into me?"

"Emma, I have always prided myself on having the smartest best friend on this campus. Don't make me question you now," Ruby said as means of reply, and somehow, despite everything Emma found herself laughing, feeling like maybe this could actually be okay in the end despite how forlorn she'd been only a little while ago.

….

The last place in the world that Killian wanted to be was at this stupid dance. Every year the teams across campus came together to throw it for God knew what reason. On paper it was a fundraiser, but in actuality it was a mess of a night requiring him to be in a totally different state of mind. This was a party atmosphere, and all he felt was wracked with worry and guilt and anger at himself. He should never have handled things as he did with Emma today. One second things were great and the next he was making an ass of himself in front of the girl he loved and she was gone, leaving so fast that by the time he'd raced out after her he'd lost track of where she'd gone or where she was heading.

Why had he been so bloody foolish? He'd been halfway to asking her out after a semester spent biding his time and feeling things out, and then when she'd looked at him, open and ready and clearly willing to hear whatever words he'd been ready to say he choked. He'd said it was nothing, never imagining that Emma would really have gathered his intentions, but then that look of hurt in her eyes had appeared and it had been like a knife to the heart. Never in his life did Killian want to be the cause of that kind of pain for Emma. He wanted to be for her what she was for him, a bright spot in an otherwise chaotic and stressful world and color in the dull and drab state of normal he'd been in the past few years. Emma was a breath of fresh air and his surest sense of comfort on the best and worst of days, but today he'd brought her pain and for that he'd never forgive himself.

"You could at least try to stop scowling, man. Seriously I think you're starting to scare people."

Killian looked over at his best mate David wanting to tell him to fuck off with his ideas of brightening his mood but he didn't. Killian knew David had the best intentions, but right now he didn't want the sage counsel of a friend who already had the girl he wanted at his side. Killian wanted a chance to make things right with Emma, and proof that he could mend this broken thing between them. Only then would he be able to shake off this mood, and not a minute sooner.

"You're lucky he turned up at all," their friend Graham said with a wry grin and a shake of his head like he pitied Killian's current state of affairs. "I had money in the pool Will made that he'd skip out to keep looking for her."

"Luck had nothing to do with it," David said then with a sense of confidence that drew Killian's interest. David knew something that Killian didn't and he wanted to know what it was, thankfully his friend filled in without delay. "I told Killian to trust me and he did. Now he'll be here when Emma shows up."

"Emma's coming here?!" Killian asked, straightening himself up and now hoping that scowl was no longer present. The last thing he needed was Emma to see him looking so monstrous when his intentions with her with the complete opposite of beastly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm telling you now," David said calmly as his smile reappeared. "Besides, I told Mary Margaret I'd keep it secret.

"You went back on a promise to Mary Margaret?" Graham said with a low whistle. "Never thought I'd see the day."

" _Technically_ it wasn't a promise," David acknowledged swiftly, "and I held out as long as I could but look at him he's a wreck," David said waving his hand in Killian's direction. "Besides, Mary Margaret loves a good happy ending. She'll forgive me when it all works out."

Killian wanted to believe with the same apparent certainty that things would turn out all right between him and Emma, but it was hard to have such a faith built up when the woman in question was so remarkable. Emma was completely and totally out of Killian's league and he'd known from the first moment. He didn't deserve her, he probably never could, but damn how he'd tried to be the kind of man who did. And he would keep trying from here on out if there were even the smallest chance that she could come to care for him the way he cared for her.

Some might call him crazy for feeling so strongly about a girl he'd only known a few months, but Killian didn't give a damn what anyone thought. He was a firm believer that some things were just right for him, and Emma Swan… well she fit into his world and somehow expanded it all at once. She made him see things, made him feel things, and then on top of everything she was the most gorgeous creature who had ever lived. Of course he was going to be madly in love with her. She was the whole package and so much more and he was just frustrated it had taken more than three years at this university to find her since this school was so bloody big. Not that it mattered though – seemed even when luck was on his side he still had the ability to damn it all to hell. Why should Emma even give him a chance after all the bumbling about he'd done? Lord knew she deserved better.

"Well will you look at that... She did come after all."

Graham's observation had Killian turning as quick as he could and then he found her in the crowd, and his heart nearly stopped. Jesus, she was even more gorgeous now than her usual perfection and that dress… that little red number was the stuff of fantasy he wasn't even nearly creative enough to conjure. Every curve of her body was enhanced and accentuated like the damn thing had been painted on her. Her hair, which was usually up when they were in class was hanging loose around her shoulders, curled and shining with its golden tint, and it looked so soft that all Killian wanted was to run his hands through it as he kissed her senseless. But of everything it was Emma's eyes that held him captive, and when they found him across the room he felt time stop. This was a moment of reckoning, but where he expected her to run again or turn from him, instead she only raised a brow in challenge as she bit back a smile on her cherry colored lips.

This time there was nothing like hesitation on Killian's part and he didn't stick around to hear whatever his friends might have to say by means of a pep talk. He just cut through the sea of people until he was in front of Emma, and when he was there he nearly pulled her into his arms without so much as a word, but at the last moment he caught himself and instead went with a more normal greeting.

"Swan, you look…"

"I know," Emma said with the same flirtatious confidence that he'd grown to love all these months when they were partners. "Look Killian, I think we should talk… maybe somewhere a little more private?"

Killian whole heartedly agreed with that assessment, and reflexively he took her hand, trying and failing to ignore the rush of warmth that came at the contact as he maneuvered their way out of the auditorium and to a hidden hall no one else had thought to come to yet. It wasn't nearly enough he knew, but right now it was the closest thing to real solitude that they could have.

"Better?" he asked Emma and she nodded gently.

"Yeah, much. No offense, but dances aren't really my scene."

"Mine either, but I can't lie and say I'm not damn glad to see you here, love," Killian said as he ran his thumb over the hand he was still holding in his. Then before he could sink to cowardice again he told Emma the truth. "I went to your dorm earlier. I assumed after everything you must have gone there, but you never came back and then I thought… well I don't know what I thought…"

"You were worried about me?" Emma asked, looking a bit surprised even as she let loose a smile and at the hope in her eyes Killian felt compelled to confess everything to her as he took her hands in his.

"Aye, I was worried, worried I'd managed to ruin the best part of my world with one careless statement. What I was trying to say before – what I've been trying to say since the start – is that I care about you, Emma. Not just as a lab partner or a friend, but as more. I look forward to the moments we're together, and when we're apart I find myself wishing I were back with you. You've done something to me, changed something in me, and, God I know it's fast, but Emma Swan I think I love -,"

Before he could get the words out, the space between them was eaten up by her forward motion and suddenly Emma's lips were on his. She'd made the first move in the end, pulling him close for this embrace but Killian made the kiss his once it was started, demanding more from her and pouring in all the passion and longing and want he'd been feeling for months. By the time they pulled back they were both a bit dizzy from it, but Killian wanted only to steal her away and share more of such precious moments all night long.

"I shouldn't have done that," Emma whispered against his lips and Killian felt struck with a sharp sense of doubt until Emma's eyes flew open and she pulled him closer, clarifying what she meant. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I only meant that I had a plan when I was walking in here. Things were supposed to go a specific way."

"Were they, love?" Killian asked, blissfully happy that he had this girl in his arms and willing to do anything to stick to her plan and make her happy in turn. "Well I take it the first item on the agenda was pushing me right to the edge with this particular ensemble. You know you cut quite the figure in this dress, Swan."

Emma rolled her eyes but he could feel her laughter as she did and the warmth of her fingers dancing along his jaw. "No. Well, kind of. The first thing was supposed to be getting you to finally ask me out."

"Go out with me," he said immediately and Emma laughed again.

"When?"

"Any time, all the time. My heart's already yours love, and any time we share together will only make that more apparent." Killian saw the surprise return to Emma's features as he said those words, but this time he wouldn't make the same mistake. He wouldn't turn from the intensity of his emotions or play it off at the risk of rejection. The only way to do this was to be totally honest with her, and that was what Killian intended to do. "I love you, Emma. And maybe we've done things out of order, but I wouldn't change it for anything, because loving you is an honor I cherish too much."

"You love me?" Emma asked, her voice barely a whisper and Killian nodded. "Good. Because I think I might just love you too."

With that, Emma and Killian spent the rest of the night and the weeks and months there after making up for lost time. And luckily for the two of them, their love would have years and years to grow and flourish, and some day this story of how they'd finally come to be together would be yet another bright spot in a long and happy life spent filled with love, light, and yes, a fair amount of good distraction.

…..

 _I've been spending my attention on you, on you_

 _I don't wait long 'cause I got better things to do_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _Make a move and make it now_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _So much talking, swear that's all you ever do_

 _Show me something before I show something to you_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _Make a move and make it now_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _I know that you would want it_

 _If I could sink my teeth into you_

 _I know that you would want it_

 _If I could sink my teeth into you_

 _First you gotta ask me out_

 _I've been spending my attention on you_

 _I don't wait long 'cause I got better things to do_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _When you gonna take me out?_

 _I know that you would want it_

 _If I could sink my teeth into you_

 _I know that you would want it_

 _If I could sink my teeth into you_

 _ **Post-Note: So thank you very much to the multiple readers who have asked me to do more college AUs. I wrote 'Like You Do' so long ago, but it was really one of the first multi-chapters I ever wrote and as such it has such a special place in my heart. Writing this kind of felt like slipping back into that universe and I am so happy to have had the chance. Anyway, hope that you all enjoyed, and rest assured there are more mixtape chapters coming eventually. Thank you all for reading and hope you're enjoying a great and awesome start to your new year!**_


	171. The Lady in Red

_**A/N: Reader requested fic for the song 'The Lady in Red' by Chris De Burgh. This is an AU where Emma and Killian have long been best friends but Killian has always loved Emma and was biding his time before making a move (can we tell that my muses are leading me in a similar direction lately?). He's decided tonight is the night to tell her just as soon as this company gala they have to go to is finished. Only Emma shows up in a red dress meant for distraction and the plan goes a little off the rails. Will there be hints of an M rating to go along with all the years long pining? You know it! Anyway, hope you all enjoy!**_

"Remind me again who thought it would be a good idea to throw a gala in the midst of our busiest selling season?" Killian Jones asked as he worked to get the bow tie that this tux required knotted up to satisfaction.

It wasn't the formality of the evening that was off putting to Killian. After all this was just a step above the usual suit and tie that running a company as large as Jones & Co. required, but it was the call to his time and attention. The purpose of this evening was to bolster morale after a mightily successful year on the anniversary of the company's founding forty years ago. Over the past few years Killian and his elder brother Liam had taken their already strong family business and brought it that much further into the 21st century. Now they were competing on a level that had seemed out of reach only a short time ago, and though Killian was proud as hell of him and his brother, he was also starting to realize that he needed more to his life than his work. He'd put too much on hold to help build up the empire, and now all he wanted was a chance to try at different segments of his world. He only hoped that the moves he was planning would be well received, since most every hope of happiness he clung too all hinged on one person – the girl he'd loved nearly half his life, who he'd foolishly never made a move on.

"That would be Elsa, sir," Killian's assistant, Belle, replied as she scanned her iPad, no doubt handling any and all last minute emergencies that might be headed his way. Thank God for Belle. Lord only knew where he would be without her.

"Ah, right. Well in that case there was never any chance of avoiding this, was there? Once Elsa has an idea, Liam will stop at nothing to make it so."

"True," Belle agreed as she flicked her gaze up and smiled thoughtfully. "But I bet she'd prefer that he just man up and ask her out already."

Killian laughed heartily at that, shaking his head at Belle though he knew she was dead on with that analysis. Liam, brilliant and bright as he was, was somehow even less given to emotional risk taking than Killian, and if Killian was a slow mover then Liam was glacier-like in his pacing. It didn't matter that Elsa, their company's head of marketing, was clearly and obviously in love with him. Liam was so wrapped up in his own silent pining he never could seem to read the signs and take the plunge.

"He'll get there…" Killian stated evenly before qualifying that statement. " _Eventually_."

Belle muttered something to herself that Killian didn't fully hear, but that sounded like this familial quirk of theirs was starting to get old. He scratched behind his ear at the comment, knowing that in his case it was right too. Try as he might to conceal his true feelings for the woman in his life, Killian knew his assistant, and damn near everyone else, could tell the way he felt. He might not be as bad as Liam, but he was nearly there, and since he hadn't told anyone of his intention to finally confess how he felt this evening, he probably seemed just as hopeless a case as his brother.

"Well, I think we best be off then. No need to face a scolding about punctuality _again_ , especially since Liam's rented out space in this very building. Can you imagine his horror at our tardiness, Belle?" Killian feigned a shiver as he took a final look in the mirror that lined the inside of one of the cabinets in his office. He looked sharp as he could given a twelve-hour workday, he expected, and that would just have to be good enough.

"I think it's best we all avoid thoughts like that. But there's one thing before you go, sir," Belle said as Killian turned his attention to gathering the last of his things, knowing that in just a few moments his date – his love – would be arriving and the rest of his life would be just at the horizon.

"Whatever it is can wait until tomorrow, can't it?" Killian teased, assuming there was nothing truly daunting heading their way.

"It's about Emma," Belle offered and immediately Killian stopped. Emma Nolan, his best friend, and the woman he also happened to be madly in love with, was always the exception to every rule, and whatever Belle was about to say, Killian was suddenly desperate to hear it. Thoughts of the gala were long gone, though the one thing that had made the whole idea bearable was that she'd be coming tonight and he'd have his chance to tell her how he felt.

"Emma? Is she all right?" Killian asked, panic shooting through him until Belle nodded.

"Yes, she's totally fine," Belle said quickly, helping Killian to breathe again. "She's just running a little late. She got held up in court and she said to meet her down there. Actually her exact words were 'he can brave the stuffed shirts for ten minutes without me and I promise I'll make it up to him.'"

Killian laughed aloud at that, knowing that was exactly Emma's way. It didn't matter that she was pretty much New York royalty given her parent's wealth and pedigree. Emma never cared for any formal affairs where there was schmoozing or undue flattery of any kind. She tolerated it, and damn did she play the role of high society princess perfectly when she had to, but the real Emma was so much more than most people could fathom. She was raw and real and adventurous, and her life had bigger dreams and ambitions than the tiny bubble of Manhattan wealth could imagine.

"Let me guess, she won the case didn't she?" Killian asked, hearing the pride and amusement in his voice as he did and now it was Belle's turn to laugh aloud at the stupid question.

"Well of course she won. She's not just any old public defender – she's the best damn public defender in the city!"

Killian grinned at that, knowing that Belle's praise had been hard earned on Emma's part. Perhaps there were not means of scientifically measuring who could be 'best,' but of one thing Killian was certain: there was no other lawyer out there who cared so much for her clients as Emma. She gave her heart in every trial, taking on the cases that often seemed hopeless but that were the most worth fighting. It was grueling work, but never had Killian heard Emma complain about how much had to be done. She simply charged forward, carrying not only the weight of her world on her shoulders, but the hopes and dreams of the people she was charged to help and their families. That was not a role that Emma took on lightly, and her unwillingness to ever give up on an innocent person in a bad situation had earned her the nickname of 'savior' in certain circles. To Killian the name wasn't hard to accept by any means. After all, Emma had been his savior since they were only children.

It had been years since the fateful day when Killian and Emma first crossed paths. He'd just relocated to America, with him and Liam being taken in by their long estranged uncle after the passing of their Mum. Technically Killian's father was alive enough to fulfill state requirements, but he'd never had any interest in being a caretaker and Killian and Liam had never had any love for the man who let them down at every turn. Their uncle, though not particularly warm, had been a vast improvement to their father and he'd sent Liam and Killian to finish up school at one of the best private prep academies in the city. It was there that Killian had met Emma, and he'd forever be grateful for her immediate kindness, charming sense of humor, and vibrant wit that made his first day and every day thereafter bearable. In what should have been some of the darkest times of his life, after losing his mother and the home he'd always known, Killian had found a light to rival the sun, and that light had never faded in all the years he'd had Emma in his life.

It was hard to pinpoint at what point the love of a friend had shifted to more, it was such a gradual process that it felt that he had always been in love with her, but the past few years his true feelings became inescapable. Killian had had a few casual relationships in his life, women who filled a role when Emma had suitors of her own, but a day had come when Killian realized they would never be enough. Perhaps he wasn't ready to give Emma all that she deserved, and he was honestly terrified that this love was one sided and would not be returned in the same way, but he wouldn't be dating anymore. Indulging in anything that wasn't the magic he knew was possible with Emma seemed a betrayal to the woman he loved, and so Killian had sworn off dating until he'd reached the goals that he and Liam had put in place for the company. That choice had made for a sharply improved work ethic, but it had also been lonely. The only consolation was that Emma hadn't had anyone serious in her life either, but now all Killian could think was that he was wasting precious time. Maybe she would reject him, but if there was even a chance that she wouldn't Killian didn't want any more days to pass where he didn't get to be as open and honest about how he felt with Emma as he could.

These hopes for what could be with Emma were a near constant in Killian's life now, and they stuck with him as he made his way to the ballroom downstairs and greeted his brother. He began the routine of shaking the right hands and thanking the right people, but time was dragging and his mind was elsewhere. Until Emma got here, Killian would feel uneasy but even when she arrived Killian knew that anxiety would linger. It wasn't every day that a man went up to his best friend and told her that he loved her and this would change everything. For better or worse the truth would be out there once their commitments this evening were fulfilled and Killian could only hope that Emma would accept his heart and his love now that he was brave enough to give it.

"You sure everything's all right, Killian?" Liam asked him at one point and Killian turned to his brother, knowing his agitation must be far clearer than he anticipated.

"Aye. Or rather it will be, at least I hope."

"This wouldn't have to do with a certain blonde savior you've always been mad for, would it?" Killian raised a brow in quiet questioning and Liam only smiled before nodding across the room. "Because she's here you know. Just walking in now."

There were moments in life that Killian would always remember – the highs, the lows, the truly out of the ordinary – but this one right here topped them all. Seeing Emma for the first time across the ballroom tonight felt like it had always been meant to happen. All this time spent grappling with his feelings about what he wanted and what Emma deserved were dropped away now, and all that remained was an intense rush of love and appreciation for the woman he adored more than anything the world over.

Gorgeous on any day and in any state, Emma was truly a vision this evening. Her long blonde hair flowed in delicate waves, casting that golden hue in the light. It was almost too pure a sight, matched only by her eyes and the gleam of excitement in the green depths that Killian could see from here, but that was the purity ended. Because right now Emma was donning a dress that had one purpose and one purpose alone – to bring Killian to his knees and have him cursing himself for not already having her in his arms right now. A scarlet red color, the floor length gown hugged every curve of Emma's lithe curves just right, and yet the sexiest part of all of it was that Emma knew from the look on her face aimed right his way that she was the most beautiful woman in the room. The confidence of her smirk and the challenge in her expression was the final straw and the next thing Killian knew he was in motion, making his way across the room as Emma did the same. There was only one problem – it appeared that Killian wasn't the only one who had his sights set on Emma, and before Killian could get to her, another hand reached out to stop her.

"Not fucking likely," Killian growled out loud enough to startle the couple next to him dancing, but Killian didn't stop moving, and though Emma made eye contact with Walsh, a smarmy but still financially desirable client of Jones & Co., she quickly removed her hand from his and looked back to Killian where her gaze remained. By then Killian was only steps away from her, but it wasn't near enough to avoid giving Walsh a chance to speak.

"A pretty lady like yourself shouldn't be here all alone. Why don't we head back to my place and -,"

Whatever ridiculous and unacceptable solicitation Walsh was about to offer to Emma, Killian wasn't about to hear it, and instinct told him that he couldn't wait any more. Maybe it would be more proper to say something first, but what was there left to say that he couldn't show her right now. As soon as Emma was within arms reach he pulled her into him, feeling her body flush against his and the way she went from initially startled to immediately relaxed. Her face began to flush, her eyes searched his with question and a mix of something that looked a lot like hope, and then she licked those tormentingly tempting lips of hers and he was lost. He dipped in to kiss her, a kiss years and years in the making, and the spark that was unleashed was instantaneous. Doubt could no longer linger in the face of such a kiss, not when Emma met him stroke for stroke and arched just as closely into him as he did with her.

For a span of time that Killian couldn't comprehend everything around them slipped away, and a wave of blindingly bright sensation came rushing in. The high of it was dizzying, intoxicating, and addicting and pulling away from Emma and the kiss was too hard to do. The only way Killian could bare to do it was because he knew before they had so much as said a word that Emma felt this too. There was no faking that kind of reaction, and as much as Killian needed this, Emma had needed it too. That filled him with a sense of pride and honor and when they did break apart, Killian couldn't keep the giant grin from appearing on his face.

"You just kissed me," Emma said dazedly, her voice filled with a total sense of astonishment as her fingertips came to touch her lips gently. "Wow I can't believe it actually worked."

"Worked?" Killian asked confused and then Emma giggled in that way that was all too rare now but still was the sweetest thing Killian had ever heard. She'd been more prone to it when they were younger, but whenever that laugh came it signaled Emma was filled with a real and tangible sense of happiness. To know he had given her that meant the world to him, and he yearned to hear it over and over again.

"Yeah, um, I've kind of wanted you to do that forever now, and Ruby said when in doubt wear red so…"

Killian ran his thumb across the corner of Emma's mouth, wanting so badly to kiss her again but holding back since they were still very much in the middle of a business event and being watched no doubt by everyone they cared about. Even with the audience though Killian didn't know if he could hold off for long. It felt like a dam had broken free and now all of the feelings he had been tucking away had to come out. He had to make Emma see the truth of what he felt for her, but being here right now was hardly suitable for the kind of moment that they _should_ have.

"Forever is a long time, love. You know all you had to do was ask," he said, pulling an eye roll from Emma even as her hand ran over his chest and rested just above his heart.

"And what about you, Jones? That kiss didn't just come out of nowhere."

"No it didn't," Killian admitted before taking a look around the room and seeing that yes, everyone was paying too close attention to them. As a response he took Emma's hand in his and asked her a question he already knew the answer to. "Do you trust me, love?"

"Always," Emma promised, and with a quick kiss to her palm Killian led them out of the ballroom and to the elevators.

Emma looked surprised when he chose to head back up to his office instead of down to the garages below, but truth was Killian needed guaranteed privacy and he didn't think he could wait to get her home. Emma seemed to understand though when he silently tried to tell her that with a look, and the softness in her eyes coupled with the brief kiss she placed to the corner of his mouth set him alight. Gods this was perfect – she was perfect – and Killian just had to try and figure out a way to make him seem even half as good a candidate for love as Emma was for him.

"Think anyone is still up here?" Emma asked, her voice a silky whisper as her hand remained in his and Killian led her to his office across the way.

"No. Liam's orders. Everyone was to attend the party. Night staff too."

"Hmm a whole office to ourselves. Whatever shall we do?" Emma teased and Killian chuckled too as he pulled her inside his office and locked the door behind him.

"That remains to be seen, love. First I have to say something I should have said a long time ago."

"You love me," Emma filled in with a smirk and Killian's jaw dropped for a moment before he regained some composure. He ran a hand through his hair as the other held onto Emma's hip.

"Aye. You knew?"

"Not for certain," Emma said as she shook her head. "But I hoped you did. And then that kiss… well that kiss told me everything I need to know."

"Did it tell you about the part where I intend to marry you and spend my whole life trying to deserve you?" Killian asked, taking this about a dozen steps further than he ever intended to, but he was so pleasantly thrown off from Emma's understanding him that he couldn't seem to care. Her smile never waivered even as the surprise registered on her face at his bold words.

"Not quite, but I think that can be arranged. After you take me on a 'proper date' of course," she said making a mockery of his lingering accent as her hands came to untie the bow he was wearing with deft precision.

"Of course. God I love you, Emma," he said as his hands ran across her body and Emma pressed a kiss to his lips lightly before whispering the sweetest words he'd ever heard.

"I love you too, Killian. So let's not wait anymore, okay? We're ready now."

He'd never agreed with anything more, and though a part of him reasoned somewhere in the far reaches of his mind that he should slow this down and make this first time with Emma more romantic, it wasn't to be. Putting off how they felt for this long had broken down his resolve and it had clearly done the same for Emma as she worked to unbutton his shirt as quickly as she could even as she pulled him close to kiss him. Killian was ready to do much of the same, starting with figuring how this damned enticement of a dress came apart, but before he could maneuver it off of her Emma took a step back and smiled at him, a look of challenge in her jade colored eyes that set his already heated system that much more into a frenzy.

"You know I've thought about the two of us in this office a lot over the past few years…" Emma said as she came around to sit on the edge of his desk playfully. Killian's hands balled into fists in an attempt to keep him grounded even as he moved towards her. It seemed Emma wanted to tease this out a little, and hard as it was to keep from shoving everything on his desk aside right now and taking her, he'd indulge her. Hell, he'd give her anything her heart could ever want so long as she was his.

"That makes two of us, love. All those lunches we shared here, I always had other ideas about what should be on the menu," he said, boxing her in and nipping lightly at a spot just under her ear that made her shiver as her hands came up to run over him.

"Show me," Emma whispered and that plea was enough to have Killian in motion. It was his clearance to take the reins, and now that he was leading the charge, the only thought in his mind was to see Emma satisfied. The only question was how to go about it. The setting called for something fast, a stolen moment floors above a party that the two of them should really be at, but this first time Killian needed something like slow and languid. He wanted Emma to know after this that he was the right choice for her to build a life with, and that required a certain level of demonstration of his ability to make her taste the bliss she was always offering him.

He started with another heated kiss as his hands roamed over her body, and after finding the zipper at her back, he eased it down just enough to let the sleeves slip off, revealing her full, pert breasts to his gaze. What he wouldn't give to strip her of the garment all together, but that would have to wait until tonight when he had her in his bed. And he would have her; that was a guarantee. Despite her want for dates and a courtship, which he would certainly grant her, Killian had no intention of spending another night away from Emma. He'd convince her right now that she wanted the same thing, and he knew it wouldn't be difficult to do when his mouth trailed kisses down to nip and suck her in this most sensitive place.

At the same time that his mouth and fingers teased Emma's breasts his other hand wandered south, pushing through the slit of material the dress provided until his fingers traced the edge of the lace that kept him from her sex. She was wet already, so riled up that Killian couldn't help but growl, and the distraction of Emma's desire demanded he kneel before her, clearing the material from his view of her and inhaling her sweet scent as his mouth watered. How long had he wanted this? How long had he dreamed of scenes just like this with Emma trusting him and giving herself so willingly to him like this? He didn't know, but the reality of having Emma in his clutch was more intoxicating than all the fantasies he'd allowed himself over the years. It was also more vivid and real than anything his mind could ever conjure, and at the look of need and love and lust in Emma's eyes Killian was spurred on to taste her slick flesh and pleasure her further.

"Killian!"

Emma's cry of his name was loud, louder than their location should have allowed, but hell if Killian cared. He wouldn't give a damn if the whole bloody place heard Emma's moan of ecstasy. Let them all know that he had done this, that he could please such a spectacular woman, but in the back of his mind Killian remembered that no one was here, and that at least for tonight he and Emma could indulge in such heated displays. The thought only fueled him further, and when Emma was at her peak and falling over Killian didn't let up, only giving her just enough time to come down from her high before riling her up again and demanding she give him another release. When she had Killian debated demanding another, but her earnest plea that he take her erased that idea. Seconds later he was up and releasing his impossibly hard length, anticipating easy access but finding his love intent on some teasing of her own. Her hand gripped him with just the right tightness, and the softness of her skin had Killian hissing out a breath.

" _Fuck_ , Emma. If I promise you can have your way with me when we get home, will you show mercy?"

Emma grinned at that before nodding and pulling him closer and then he thrust inside her and the immediate sensation shocked his system so completely it felt like every nerve was sensing the realest kind of pleasure. To say that sex had never felt this way was unnecessary; this was clearly earth shattering and Killian could tell from Emma's expression and the flush on her skin that it was just the same for her. The unyielding spark and crackle of the chemistry between them kept them hot and on edge as they came together over and over again, and only when Killian thought he couldn't take a second more without coming Emma begged him to fall with her and he did.

"That was…" Killian began, not having words to articulate just how amazing how that had been. 

"Just the beginning," Emma said happily as her hand cupped his cheek.

"Aye, love. Just the beginning."

And the beautiful thing was that beginning grew into something so much more. Killian and Emma ended up getting everything they wanted, and after all that waiting the life they built proved more beautiful and more magical than either of them could have ever dreamed.

…

 _I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight_

 _I've never seen you shine so bright_

 _I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance_

 _They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance_

 _And I have never seen that dress you're wearing_

 _Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes_

 _I have been blind_

 _The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek_

 _There's nobody here, it's just you and me_

 _It's where I want to be_

 _But I hardly know this beauty by my side_

 _I'll never forget the way you look tonight_

 _I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight_

 _I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing_

 _I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side_

 _And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away_

 _And I have never had such a feeling_

 _Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight_

 _The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek_

 _There's nobody here, it's just you and me_

 _It's where I want to be_

 _But I hardly know this beauty by my side_

 _I'll never forget the way you look tonight_

 _I never will forget the way you look tonight_

 _The lady in red, the lady in red_

 _The lady in red, my lady in red_

 _I love you_

 _ **Post-Note: So it's been quite some time since my lovely reader asked for this chapter, and FINALLY getting it out there makes me a happy camper. Because I have started a new multi-chapter story, there will also be some more delays in my mixtape chapters for a while. But not to worry, because I already have a few of them written and after I get the first few chapters of the new story out I will be switching to an every other week schedule. Anyway, hope that you all enjoyed the smut and fluff and thanks to all of you who send me love for every chapter and who send your prompts and song requests my way. You are all awesome and I am wishing you a lovely rest of your weekend. Thanks again!**_


	172. Craving You

_**A/N: Reader requested sequel to a chapter from ages ago, 'Cater to You.' You don't have to read that one before this, but basically this is a future CS drabble where Emma and Killian are expecting their second child since the Dark Fairy's curse was broken and Emma has realized something – as much as she's craving even more alone time with Killian thanks to her hormones, Killian is just as bad and that leads to some really good moments. Basically pure smut but also plenty of fluff. Goes with the song 'Craving You' by Thomas Rhett and Marin Morris. Rated M.**_

Finding moments in the chaos that was life had always been a specialty for Killian and Emma, and though the battles for good and evil had largely subsided in recent years, the crazy time demands of the town and their family had certainly filled the gaps. Every day brought new challenges and new adventures, but in the midst of all of that, Emma was always certain that she and Killian would find ways to still stay connected and care for that love and oh so special bond they shared between them.

Right now that arguably should have been easier said than done. Two years ago they'd welcomed a new bundle of joy into the Jones/Swan clan, a beautiful daughter named Hope who was energetic and full of life and who immediately had everyone she met wrapped tight around her little finger. It had been a magnificent change, a brave new world for Killian and Emma to navigate together, but it also was only the start. Because Hope wasn't the last of the new additions, and now, only a few short years later Emma was four months pregnant with their second child.

Though she didn't have definitive medical assurances, Emma was sure this little guy would be a boy and that he'd be the spitting image of his father. Where Hope was shaping up to be a perfect blend of Emma and Killian, Emma couldn't shake the notion that she was about to have a new little heart breaking pirate running all over Storybrooke. She was so excited to meet their son soon, but in the meantime there was so much to do and so much to plan while also juggling their continuous commitments. Emma and Killian still put in time at the station on top of seeing to it that Hope was cared for and never doubted how loved and treasured she was. Emma was also still the unofficial moral compass of Storybrooke, making town decisions even though as co-sheriff she shouldn't have nearly as much of a say as she did. And then there were her parents and her little brother, who though understanding of her having her own life were just as involved and ever present as they had been. As such it felt nearly impossible to sneak a moment alone with her husband, but if the story of their love had taught Emma anything, it was that nothing and no one could stand between her and Killian.

That was a very good thing indeed, not only because Emma needed her husband as her partner and her best friend to go through life with, but because the heat between them and the passion that had been there almost from the start had never faded. If anything it had burned brighter, running hotter and sparking more need than ever before, and now that she was pregnant… well suffice it to say the hormones of carrying a baby were in full swing and if she wasn't craving bear claws or grilled cheese and onion rings, she was counting down the seconds until she could satisfy a little of her craving for her man.

 _Any minute now he'll be here,_ Emma reminded herself as she sat in the sheriff's office, assured that she was totally alone. Her father was technically also on shift today, but he'd taken off early since things were going slow. He'd mentioned something about a picnic with her mother and with Neal and Emma was happy for them and for herself. Now she had the whole place alone with her pirate, and if past dalliances were any indication, things were about to get more than a little steamy.

"Waiting for someone?" a voice that Emma immediately recognized as her husband asked from the door way and Emma grinned, shaking her head at how he was still able to sneak up on her after all these years. At times it was a little annoying, but in moments like this that added layer of stealth only made her want him more.

"No one important," she joked and the growl that came from Killian as she got up from her desk made her laugh aloud. "Just kidding. You know I love you."

"Aye, I do," Killian agreed, stripping off his leather jacket and hanging it up in a move that might seem innocent but was purposefully done. Emma tracked the motion, noticing the tight set of his muscles underneath the black t-shirt he was wearing, her fingers itching to strip that off too even though she so loved the back and forth banter they were famous for. "Things seem quiet over here."

"So far anyway," Emma said with a sigh. "You never know in Storybrooke. How about at home?"

"I'd hardly call it quiet but Hope is at Ashley's for the moment, and when I left her she was whipping the other children into shape. She had her heart set on a tea party, and I dare say she'll succeed in getting one."

"She always does," Emma said with a laugh as Killian came behind her and kissed her neck, his hand running over her belly with care as his hook rested on her hip bringing her back against him.

"I've missed you today, Swan," he whispered in her ear and Emma shivered even as she tried to play it cool.

"You just saw me this morning, or did you forget already?"

"A man's not likely to forget such a wake up call," Killian growled, no doubt thinking just as Emma was of how she'd woken up before him and persuaded him that sex was the best way to start their day together. Not that Killian had anything like hesitation about that at all, and Emma flushed as she recalled all the sinful things he'd done to her body in the hour they'd had together before Hope woke up and the day truly began. "Doesn't change the simple fact that I'll always prefer to be at your side, Swan, as you well know."

"Yeah I know," Emma agreed as she turned in his embrace, her fingertips coming to graze across his jaw, feeling the stubble of his beard at the place it met smooth flesh. "I need that too. I need you."

Her words had more than one meaning though at their core they were just a constant fact of Emma's life. Killian Jones had changed her and emboldened her to believe in love and goodness through all their time together. Before him and before coming to Storybrooke she'd been jaded and alone, but no longer. Now she chose to see the positive in things, she let herself enjoy the blessings that her world was filled with, and she never worried about being weak by needing her true love at her side. Needing each other and choosing to be together despite all the baggage from their past wasn't a weakness, it was strength, and Emma never felt stronger than she did in these moments when she was tucked away in Killian's arms, feeling the security and support of the man she loved.

The subliminal meaning of those words in this moment, however, also spoke to a deeper, more salacious need. See it didn't matter that only this morning he'd taken her over and over again. The hunger seated low in Emma's gut was still there, gnawing for more of his attentions and only wanting Killian, and from the look in his eyes it was the same for him. Emma might be the pregnant one, but this wasn't totally hormone driven. Killian was just as ravenous as she was, and when she was pregnant he always had just a touch more intensity. Killian was always protective and would stop at nothing to see her happy, but when she was carrying his kid the guidelines and restrictions he placed on himself seemed to fade away. Both of them gave in to their wants and desires all the more, and Emma for one was completely and totally glad for it.

"If you're going to cast a spell to keep things private, now's your chance, love," Killian murmured against her lips as he backed her closer to her desk until the cool top of the table pressed at her thighs.

"Good call, Captain," she teased in reply, her eyes falling to his lips as she licked her own and that was that. She flicked her wrist to send out the magic that would alert them to any approaching townsfolk and keep things quite in the station and then Killian was on her, stealing a kiss so fiercely primal and hot that it made Emma's already aroused senses spike into overdrive.

The push and pull between them as they tried to lose the layers still between them without totally disrobing was a familiar dance. This was hardly the first time they'd hooked up someplace they technically shouldn't have, but that feeling like maybe they could get caught had Emma's blood pumping. It didn't stop her from stripping Killian's shirt off though, or keep him from unbuttoning enough of her shirt to expose her breasts to him. She was sensitive as all hell from the pregnancy, and Killian knew that. Ever the quick study he'd picked up on how much more potent every caress was the first time she'd gotten pregnant. By this time he was a master, bringing her to the edge before chuckling to himself and shaking his head.

"Not yet, Swan. I want to taste it when you come apart this time."

Emma groaned at the thought but she sure as heck didn't argue. Instead she tried to help as best she could, unbuttoning the jeans that only barely fit these days with her bump starting to form. Soon they'd be too tight to wear, but right now all Emma wanted was to get them gone. Killian stopped her though, his hand covering hers as his hook caressed her cheek. She looked back up at him, finding an undeniable look of love in his cerulean gaze that made her heart flutter.

"There's never been anything as perfect as you, Swan."

"You have to say that. You knocked me up," she teased, though there wasn't any fire in it. She wasn't totally unsusceptible to the sweetness after all, and she loved knowing that Killian saw her flaws and all and still felt such an adoration for her.

"You know damn well how I feel, Emma, and while your current state might make you all the more lovely, there's never a moment I don't thank the Gods for you."

Emma kissed him again, saying with the kiss that she did know that. All teasing aside there was an undeniable truth between them and their feelings, strong and unyielding as they were, were a constant in their life. Killian might be complimenting her now, but it was by no means out of the ordinary. Every day he showered her with similar praise, and every day she accepted those compliments and gave back her own about how she loved him so much and how no other man could ever make her so happy or give her so much as he did.

Eventually Killian broke the kiss, trailing his own down her body as he adjusted her exactly where he wanted her on the desk. Soon he was kneeling between her legs and Emma held her breath, knowing what was going to come. Her skin broke out in goose bumps just from the anticipation, but when Killian tore through the lace she'd been wearing underneath her jeans with his hook Emma moaned low. God she loved when he did that. Even if she was constantly buying new underwear it was totally worth it because that was ridiculously hot.

"Look how ready you are for me, love. Drives me almost to madness to see you this riled," Killian said with a gravel in his voice that made her shiver.

"How are you still possibly this into me?" Emma asked, laughing as she did because she was so ramped up, but the laugh turned to a moan as Killian traced over her bared flesh.

"I'm not _in_ you, Swan. Not yet anyway," he teased, the grin he displayed simultaneously making Emma hotter and making her want to roll her eyes.

"You know what I mean," Emma said, her voice coming out on a sigh as Killian nipped at her inner thigh, his hook running up the other and leaving a cool tingling feeling in its wake.

"You mean to ask how my need for you remained as strong as ever," he murmured, his breath hot against the skin that wanted his attention most as his finger tips traced the seam of her sex in the most teasing of grazes. "And the answer is simple, my love. It's a never ending thing we have. I'll be needing you all our lives and then some."

Emma wanted to say how sweet that was, and she could actually feel the tears forming in her eyes, whether it was thanks to pregnancy hormones or just the softness of her heart that Killian always seemed to be able to play to. But then he was distracting her with bliss, his tongue finally making contact with her sex, and again all Emma could think of was giving into this. Getting to that all consuming high was so easy like this and before she knew it her back was bowing over as she let herself fall apart, but Killian wasn't finished. He bided his time as she came down from heaven only to take her right back to the edge before he got up and aligned his own waiting, hard length with where she needed him most. With one solid thrust he'd filled her completely and Emma cried out his name.

"Fuck, Emma, every time you're still so damned tight. Still so mine."

"Yours," Emma agreed as she pulled him in for more kisses and they came together over and over again. Finally the two of them let go, with Emma crashing over as Killian followed behind, and in the aftermath the room was filled with the smell of sex and their heavy breathing and Emma couldn't help but smile. Yeah, life right now, as busy as it might be, was pretty damn perfect and she was one lucky girl.

"So…" Killian said after they'd got themselves a bit more presentable and picked up the bit of mess that had fallen from Emma's desk. "How much longer do you think you'll need to stay tonight?"

"Technically I'm on call. As long as I bring the radio then we can -,"

Emma didn't get to finish the statement and instead she was swept up in Killian's arms, her hands flying up to go around his neck as she giggled. Typical Killian, playing the doting hero and making her love every minute of it. He reached with his hook to grab the radio and looked to her expectantly, a silent question of how she wanted to go back to their house in his eyes. Would they be walking down Main Street like this for all the world to see or would Emma be using a little bit of magic? Emma debated for half a second, but then she realized magic would grant her a bit alone more time with Killian and the choice was made. So with that, the two of them _poofed_ back home and returned to the beautiful life they'd made for themselves in the happily ever after they'd fought so hard for, knowing full well that this craving they had for each other would never fade, just as their love would never wane or lessen no matter what may come.

…..

 _Every time we have to say goodbye_

 _I'm counting down until we say hello_

 _Every touch is like the strongest drug_

 _I don't know how much longer I can go_

 _I never had something that I can't walk away from_

 _But, girl, my self-control's so paralyzed_

 _When it comes to you, no, I ain't got no patience_

 _There's something 'bout you girl I just can't fight_

 _You're like that cigarette_

 _That shot of 100 proof_

 _No matter how much I get_

 _I'm always craving_

 _That feeling when we kiss_

 _The way your body moves_

 _No matter how much I get_

 _I'm always craving you_

 _Craving you_

 _All the in-between is killing me_

 _You know I come unglued from missing you_

 _Sunset eyes, no, I don't have to try_

 _Because you know exactly what to do_

 _I never had something that I can't walk away from (walk away from)_

 _But, girl, my self-control's so paralyzed_

 _When it comes to you, no, I ain't got no patience (I ain't got no patience)_

 _There's something 'bout you I just can't fight_

 _You're like that cigarette_

 _That shot of 100 proof_

 _No matter how much I get_

 _I'm always craving_

 _That feeling when we kiss_

 _The way your body moves_

 _No matter how much I get_

 _I'm always craving you_

 _Craving you_

 _Craving you_

 _Craving you_

 _Every time we have to say goodbye_

 _I'm counting down until we say hello_

 _Every touch is like the strongest drug_

 _I don't know how much longer I can go_

 _You're like that cigarette_

 _That shot of 100 proof_

 _No matter how much I get_

 _I'm always craving_

 _That feeling when we kiss_

 _The way your body moves_

 _No matter how much I get_

 _I'm always craving you, yeah_

 _Craving you_

 _Craving you (I'm craving you baby)_

 _I'm craving you_

 _I'm craving you babe_

 _ **Post-Note: So I gotta start by saying that while I am not the biggest country fan I do absolutely love this song! If you have not heard it before go listen, and if you have you can probably see why I have included it in the mixtape. Also thank you to my reader who asked for this, and to the numerous friends and loyal followers who have insisted on more smutty chapters, hopefully this fits the bill. I have to say it was so fun writing it and while it's never going to happen, I dream of a day when we get to see either CS sexy time or them with their baby. Until then I'll just write about it a lot. Anyway thank you to you all for reading and for all the continued suggestions and requests you guys send my way. It's so awesome to have so many of you along for the ride on this and hope you guys enjoyed!**_


	173. Surround Me

_**A/N: AU drabble where Emma is out at a bar with her friends and has had just slightly too much to drink. She's coming home and sees her hot neighbor. They don't really know anything about each other, they never really talk about anything much more than saying hi and bye, but Emma's been drawn to him a long time and tonight she's acting on those impulses. Inspired by 'Surround Me' by LEON.**_

"Aw, Emma, are you sure you don't want to hit the next place with us?" Ruby asked her as the four friends approached Emma's building which just so happened to be square in the middle of the bar crawl her friends were currently indulging in. "I hear the bartenders there are super hot."

"And they have accents!" her friend Elsa piped in, a little louder than she would have otherwise had she not been drinking this evening. "Maybe you can pretend one of them is your cute neighbor."

Emma groaned at her friends, shielding her face with her hands and ruing the moment earlier in the evening when after a bit of dancing and the right number of drinks she'd admitted that she might have a tiny, barely there, all consuming crush on the guy next door. Her friends had been like dogs with bones ever since and Emma knew that they'd keep teasing her about this for a long, long time.

"Or maybe _that's_ why you're cutting out early," Ruby said with a newfound sense of glee in her voice. "Why Emma Swan, you naughty girl."

"I am going home because I've reached my limit. One more drink and you guys will be pulling me down from tabletops. Trust me, it's for the best," Emma said as her friends collectively whined that she was no fun. It was totally juvenile, and it wasn't going to work, but Emma had to admit that in spite of it all she did love her friends. "Now that I'm gone, Belle's in charge. Everyone listen to her. She makes the best decisions and whatever you do don't trust drunk Ruby."

"Hey!" Ruby exclaimed at the same time that Mary Margaret, Belle, and Elsa all chimed. "We know."

This caused a laugh between all of the friends and Emma continued chuckling to herself as she stepped inside her building. It was quiet tonight, as she expected it would be this late on a Thursday, but she liked it that way. After years of noisy foster homes when she'd been growing up, she liked the quiet comfort of not being surrounded by chaos. She waved to the night doorman in the lobby, smiling as he wished her a good evening and then waited at the elevator bay for a ride upstairs. It didn't take too long to get there, and with the familiar ding Emma was comforted that soon she'd be back home and ready to tuck in for the rest of the evening.

Stepping into the elevator, Emma was surprised to see that there was another person already there and it was none other than her undeniably hot and charming neighbor, Killian Jones. He had a basket of laundry on the floor before him, giving away that he was participating in a casual night in, but the look in his eyes when he saw her in the dress she'd worn this evening told her that he was both genuinely glad at her being here, and that he thought she was beautiful and desirable and more than the horribly damaged person she often thought of herself as. Killian didn't look at her like she was a little lost girl or a woman incapable of really giving her heart and that always seemed to steal the breath right from her lungs. God why was he so cute and nice and disarming? It wasn't fair! How was she supposed to resist that?

"Good night, Swan?" he asked and Emma thought for a moment before responding.

It was a good night. She'd enjoyed her time with her friends, had a great meal, drank some fantastic wine, but there was something missing, something that hadn't even been there until just now when they ran into each other. Killian's presence had this impact on her, this power to make her day better, and whether it was the slight haziness in her mind from the wine or just the final snap of her attempt to avoid him, Emma couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't keep pushing him away or keeping him at arms length. She wanted Killian Jones, and right now she wanted him to know it.

With that decision made it only took a split second to pull him to her and after the slightest hesitation, Killian was on the same page, his lips crashing down to hers as they shared a kiss that blew every other one Emma had ever had out of the water. For a moment there was the tiniest bit of doubt in the back of her mind, reminding her that she didn't do things like this, and she definitely didn't do it with hot neighbors she had a bad habit of running into, but the way Killian made her feel pushed those thoughts to the wayside. There was no room in her head for questions of what she should do, only a gnawing need to enjoy this moment while it lasted.

Ten floors – that was how long the two of them would have before the elevator reached their stop, and damn did they make use of that time. With roaming hands and wandering kisses, Emma felt like a live wire, coursing and sparking with so much pent up lust and wanting that she couldn't stop from catching fire. Fuck this felt good, angling herself against the hard contours of his body as he gripped her hips and pinned her against the side of the elevator car, his hands coming to tease at the hem of her dress but not taking it any further. Emma wanted to protest that he totally should go that extra mile right now, but then the door dinged again and it was back to reality. This manic, beautiful interlude was over and Emma's old flares of insecurity and fear sprung right back into place.

"Uh, okay. See you around," Emma said with uncertainty, not having any idea how the heck to speak after just pouncing on him like that, but she didn't even have time to get to her apartment door, which was only a few feet away, before Killian spun her around and kissed her again, completely ignoring her attempt at shutting this down. The fact that they'd moved from the elevator to the hallway somehow made it feel more real, and as Emma's back hit the hard wood of her front door she groaned, loving this and also feeling a growing sense of trepidation as the kiss went on.

"Not so fast, love. You can't kiss a man like that and expect he'll let you go so easily, at least not without the assurance that it'll happen again and soon."

"It was just a kiss," Emma said without the firmness she wanted. Killian meanwhile only smiled, his brow rising in a silent show of challenge, like he totally knew she was full of shit. And she was too, because she could barely even get out the next part of her denial. "A one time thing."

"That's where you're wrong, love. Because this is far from over. It's only just begun."

With that, Killian pressed another kiss to Emma's lips, this time with more gentle and reverent care though it tasted just as sweet and seductive as the ones before. Then he turned down the hall and headed towards his place, and though they hadn't set particulars or made any kind of plans, Emma knew that Killian was right. Because tonight had been the start of something she'd been wanting for a while, and Emma could hardly wait to see just where this newfound intrigue would take them.

…

 _Wasn't gonna go out_

 _I was gonna stay in_

 _Another Friday night on my own_

 _Then I started drinking_

 _My phone started ringing_

 _I got my shit and walked out the door_

 _Oh, every time you cross my mind_

 _I get stupid_

 _Whoa_

 _Don't overthink it_

 _Just finish up your drink_

 _And surround me, surround me_

 _The night ain't over_

 _We're far from being sober_

 _Surround me, surround me_

 _'Cause I like you, I like you, I like you a lot_

 _How to see through the smoke_

 _I don't know how you found me, you found me_

 _The night ain't over_

 _We're far from being sober_

 _Surround me, surround me_

 _Baby take me outside_

 _Kiss me in the moonlight_

 _I just want you to touch me_

 _I don't wanna waste no time_

 _You don't even know me_

 _But I want you to show me_

 _What it feels like to be alive_

 _The lights go down_

 _I want you around me_

 _Whoa_

 _Don't overthink it_

 _Just finish up your drink_

 _And surround me, surround me_

 _The night ain't over_

 _We're far from being sober_

 _Surround me, surround me_

 _'Cause I like you, I like you, I like you a lot_

 _How to see through the smoke_

 _I don't know how you found me, you found me_

 _The night ain't over_

 _We're far from being sober_

 _Surround me, surround me_

 _So don't let me go, no don't let me go_

 _Surround me, surround me_

 _So don't let me go, no don't let me go_

 _Surround me, surround me_

 _So don't let me go, no don't let me go_

 _Surround me, surround me (Don't let me go, don't let me go)_

 _So don't let me go, no don't let me go_

 _Surround me, surround me_

 _Don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go_

 _ **Post-Note: Sometimes I think to myself that I should try to branch out in my writing. I wonder if maybe it's fun to write the angst or the really slow burns that some very talented authors write in the CS fandom. And then I write chapters like this and I am reminded that this is**_ **exactly** _ **what I want to be writing. Pure fluff with a happy dose of passion and cuteness and hope is all I need, and I really hope that all of you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Anyway, I know this wasn't a prompted fic and that there are so many prompts that I should really be getting to work on those, but you will all just have to forgive me since I was happy to get any writing done at all given that the semester is in full swing. I do promise to get back to the prompts next time though, and in the meantime I hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend and thanks so much for reading!**_


	174. The Words

_**A/N: This is a story I have been asked to write by at least half a dozen different people over the course of the last year, inspired by 'The Words' by Christina Perri. Some of you may have read it already, though it was split up into three different sections and published as a multi-chapter story on my page called 'The Words We Keep,' but I wanted to include it here since I know many of you are just following this series and not my other work. Because so many of you asked for it specifically, I have taken a lot of inspiration from the music video while also making some artistic changes of my own. Be advised that we start with Killian's POV, then move to Emma's POV that takes place the next day, and then a POV from each of them a year later. As such it might flow better to read the separate story, but it's still all the same fluff (and smut) as before. Anyway, if you haven't read yet, I hope you will enjoy!**_

The twilight train that ran through Storybrooke Maine was nothing if not regular.

Killian Jones could set his watch right down to the second based on when he heard that far off rumbling grow into something more and more prominent. Cutting through the woods, and thus cutting through the quiet existence of the surrounding wildlife, the train was a reminder that an outside world remained. It was slow, but persistent, and the whistle it let loose as it approached Killian's home was the same exact tone as all the ones before it. To others, that sound might be unwelcome, but for Killian it signaled it was time for his day to end. Time to put the wood he'd chopped the past few hours in the back shed behind the house and head back in to the solemn comfort of his home.

"All right boy, time to come in! Heaven forbid you miss your dinner."

Killian's intentionally sarcastic call out to the field behind his house was immediately responded to by the mangy mutt who Killian had taken in upon moving to this place years back. The town had long known this furry little miscreant and since the early days of his residence in Storybrooke, when he'd started making mischief and avoiding all attempts at animal control, they'd referred to him as Tramp. Killian hadn't any idea what breed of dog Tramp actually was, but it didn't matter. He was loyal and protective and good company when Killian had so little other interaction with anyone out here.

A quiet life. That was what he'd signed up for when he descended on this cabin in the woods, away from the fray of the day to day. It was what he'd wanted more than anything after the rough and tumble of the years before, but in the solace of the silence there was something that needed facing, a truth Killian had avoided but could not be ignored any longer: he was hiding out here. Hiding from life, from love, from the very forces that had sent his world into spiral before. Out here he was out of reach of that darkness, but was the life he was leading fulfilling? Were the small victories in this tiny kind of existence he'd created enough? More and more he was finding that they weren't, especially not when he considered the possibility that one certain someone posed to him each and every time their paths crossed.

Emma Swan, a woman well befitting of the name, was a florist in the city and one of Killian's most loyal customers, but the feelings that he had for her were anything but professional. Ever since the moment that they'd met, when he'd arrived with his first batch of orchids, Killian felt an unexpected twinge inside his chest, a spark of something long forgotten that he'd pushed aside for years lit from the humor in her eyes and the gentle perfection that was her smile. Emma was gorgeous beyond compare, but it was more than that golden hair and lithe figure with just the right amount of curve that drew him mad. It was the wit that brilliant brain of hers possessed and the kindness that she showed for every person who walked through the doors of her shop. It was the way she always seemed to anticipate a need even before someone had spoken it aloud, and it was how she always seemed to know where his limits were drawn even when he himself was unaware. Because of that Killian had revealed more of his past and personality to this woman than anyone else in a long _long_ time, but even that didn't seem like enough. Most days he wished he'd take things further, that he'd gather the courage to ask her out properly, but those words never seemed to come. Instead he remained tongue tied and hesitant and the moments always past, ending with the same exchange.

" _So I'll see you next week?"_ Emma would ask with a warmth that seeped down to his very soul. She was obviously hopeful that he'd come, and Killian knew it was probably more than just professional interests that drove her, but it still wasn't enough to have him take that last leap of faith.

" _Aye, Swan. I'll see you then."_

The problem was that Killian hated the wait, and all those hours that stood between seeing Emma and reuniting with her in the future never failed to drag on endlessly. No amount of work, no level of need from his other clients, could ever make the time fly faster, and every day that Killian didn't see Emma was a day he wished he would. At least ten times on any given morning he'd debate the merits of driving back to the city and pretending that he'd had some kind of other errand just so that he might run into her, but old doubts always had a way of creeping in and keeping him stagnant when he wanted so badly to move forward.

" _A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets,"_ a voice in Killian's head murmured, and it was the same voice that did most of Killian's internal scolding. His elder brother Liam had always been driven and guided by an unwavering moral compass. Things were easy for Liam, because the world didn't have the same shades of gray that it did for everyone else. Things were either right or they were wrong, good or bad, and there was always an answer to any kind of problem as long as one was willing to do the work of finding it.

Killian had always believed in much of his brother's sensibilities, in that line and in others, but when Liam was taken from this life all too soon two years ago it shook Killian's foundations to the core. There was no understandable reason for Liam's death; just a freak accident off a stormy shore half a world away and his brother was gone. And no matter how much work Killian did, no matter how he occupied his mind or channeled his energies, there was no making sense of it. There was also no understanding how he could have faced that kind of blow and lost so much only to return home, looking for his fiancé at the time, to find her in bed with another man. There was no coming to terms with that kind of agonizing loss and unforgivable betrayal packed in one punch, and so he'd left, wandering for a few months before attempting to pick up the pieces in a place he never imagined on the coast of Maine.

Storybrooke was as quaint and quintessential as it sounded, and in his old life it would hardly have been the place that Killian chose for himself. But a few months after losing Liam he received word that a distant relative had also passed away. She was a great aunt by way of their mother and she was someone that Liam and Killian had never known. She left the two of them a house and a business raising and selling exotic orchid plants to floral distributors all through the region. At first Killian didn't know what to do with such an opportunity, for what the bloody hell did he know of flowers, but he realized that it was his way out if not forward.

Part of him also believed that this opportunity was Liam looking out for him even beyond the grave, trying to offer him roots when all of Killian's had been ruthlessly torn from under him. Because of this, Killian tried his best to make things work here but feeling a connection was difficult. He could escape here, if not face his problems head on, and for a while that was enough. Little by little, week by week, Killian had felt himself going a bit more numb. His heart was hardening and his outlook on the future was dreary and dull, until the day he'd found Emma. For on that day there had been light again, a light that Killian desperately wanted to keep and to strengthen, but that he didn't have words to describe or solicit.

"It's not that hard, mate," he muttered to himself as he marched in the house with Tramp on his heels, heading towards the kitchen to prepare himself and his ever-loyal mutt something for the evening meal. "Just tell the woman how you feel. She might surprise you."

Tramp gave a low bark at that as if trying to respond to Killian and Killian shook his head as he shut the door behind them. "Oh bloody hell, now I'm talking to myself. What's wrong with me, boy?" Tramp only looked up at Killian with the eyes of a slightly confused canine and Killian sighed. "Right, talking to my dog's not much better."

Things were clearly bad if this was the state of his life. Slowly Killian was creeping into the vicinity of actual crazy and the worst part was that it didn't need to be that way. In his heart Killian knew somehow, someway, that Emma wouldn't rebuff him despite the anxieties that swirled in his chest every time they met. He'd seen it in her eyes, in the little gleam that showed up every time he walked into the shop or the way her cheeks stained a lovely shade of pink any time he complimented her. She was not wholly unaffected by the pull between them, so why didn't he just man up and say something? He should just ask her out and be done with it, instead of living each day in this same safe but utterly unfulfilling state.

With those thoughts in mind Killian continued on with his nightly routine of a quiet dinner consumed while he listened to the radio and while Tramp ate beside him before curling up by his feet. There was no television in the cabin on purpose, because escape wouldn't have really been possible if he had a window to the world that way, but the radio had always calmed Killian, and it gave him just enough of a taste of life outside of Storybrooke while allowing him to still avoid to his heart's content. When dinner was done so too was that bit of technological indulgence, and Killian made his way up the stairs of his home and to the well-earned bath he'd been looking forward to.

It might be strange to some to give into such a luxury, especially given all he'd sacrificed for the sake of simple living, but these moments each evening washed away the dirt and grime not only of his work but of the demons of his past, which still sometimes plagued his mind. The steam and the warmth of a good soak in this old clawfoot tub was something that he craved each night, but even in this moment of enjoyment Killian felt how alone he truly was. This world he'd created for himself was insulated from the things he wanted to avoid to be sure, but it was also so empty of the good things life should hold as well. There was a gaping hole that needed filling, and instinct demanded that Killian admit the truth, that the only person he could ever hope would take that role was Emma. No one else would stand a chance against his heartache, but Emma made him feel things – _want_ things – that he'd resigned himself to losing all those years ago.

Just the thought of what he wanted and the image of Emma in his head was enough to have him hard and aching. For so long he'd been unfeeling, but Emma had changed that and as he came to take his length in hand, he wished it were her fingers gripping him instead. Emma had the softest skin, despite her avid love of flowers and the gardening he knew she delighted in at home, and Killian allowed himself to imagine what it would be like if they did take that step after wanting it for so long. It would happen after a proper date between them, and he'd find a way to romance his Swan and make Emma feel as special and remarkable as he found her to be. That date would culminate in a kiss that heated through to something more, something defined by lust and ruled by an untamed desire and connection that would not wane.

Killian could practically taste her on his tongue as the scenario in his head continued, and the Emma of his fantasies was just as kind and serene as the one he knew, but as fiery and passionate as her eyes always alluded to. Underneath those innocent summer dresses and professional winter sweaters lay a woman who knew what she wanted and who would take all she needed, and Killian craved the chance to know her in such a way more than anything. Emma was, in short, perfection, and sooner than he should Killian came at the vision of her unable to feel shame for it despite the mess he'd made and the intimacy of his actions that she couldn't possibly know were happening. But Emma Swan was temptation itself, a vision of loveliness and a light in his life he so desperately needed, and knowing that grounded something in Killian tonight as he cleaned off and eventually lay down for bed:

The time of waiting and wondering were over. He couldn't let another night go by where all he had were dreams and musings about what could be. So tomorrow would be the day that he set out to change his luck. Tomorrow he'd tell Emma how he truly felt. He'd ask her out for more than a fleeting moment at her shop, and when he did he'd start actually living again instead of wasting away in the quiet he once saw as a comfort that had now become his hell. And as he fell asleep, succumbing to that final state of rest that separated him from the next morning where he'd see his Swan again, Killian dreamed of the life that could be if only he and Emma were given the chance to build something together.

…

Mondays were very rarely the favorite day of anybody's week, but Emma Swan had never really been normal.

Since she was a girl Emma knew that her life would be different than everyone else's and that was fine. Foster kids were out of the ordinary by definition, and orphans who didn't ever find their place were even rarer. To go so long without a home to call hers made Emma see the world differently, but that was okay with her. She didn't resent the way things had been as she once had when she was younger; she simply picked herself up and kept moving forward. It was the only way to survive, and Emma was proud that she was still going and still making her own success and happiness despite everything that had been stacked against her.

The reason she loved Mondays, however, didn't have anything to do with her past or the baggage she carried. No, her love of the first day of the work week was for an entirely different reason, and though it made her into a walking cliché, Emma was woman enough to admit that the reason was because of a man, one particular man who had been sneaking past her defenses since the first day they met. Killian Jones was quiet, almost reserved at first meeting, but over time they'd warmed up to each other, and what had started as a simple attraction on Emma's part grew to more. One day she woke up and realized that her best days were the days she got to see him and that all the others were filled with little moments where she thought of him and wished that he were there. At first she believed that to be a weakness, but eventually she'd come to realize that it wasn't. It took a lot of courage for Emma to feel that kind of want for anyone, and allowing herself a crush was arguably healthy given everything she'd endured.

The only problem was Emma increasingly wanted to take that crush and push it further. She wanted to tell Killian how she really felt instead of jumping off from small talk about orchids to one or two short subjects every week. They never had more than ten minutes together and though those ten minutes always felt like magic, Emma truly wanted more and she thought Killian did too. But she also knew from the look in his blue eyes that she wasn't the only one with past heartaches or troubles that plagued her. She could see the lingering demons that he carried, and though they'd faded the past two years, Emma knew that truly letting them go would be some of the hardest work Killian would ever undertake. She didn't know the details but she empathized completely. She only wished that he'd be ready soon so she could finally know if this was as right as she felt it was as opposed to just dreaming about it day in and day out.

"You know I can't even make a joke about you being a morning person since you usually aren't, but every Monday without fail here you are, bright eyed and bushy tailed and bursting with hope."

The words of commentary stemmed from the back of Emma's shop as she walked through the front door and turned the closed sign to signal they were open. Without even needing to see her face Emma knew that it was Ruby Lucas, her best friend and assistant in the shop. Ruby came in early each day to greet the bulk of their vendors so she could have time to leave early for her afternoon classes, but on Monday's Emma made an exception and she came in for one particular man who drove an old pick up truck filled with the world's most beautiful flowers.

"Is that any way to speak to someone who brought you donuts?" Emma asked, undeniably deflecting and bribing her friend all at once. But it worked. One second Ruby had been smirking with a hand on her hip and friendly judgment in her eyes, and the next she was thrilled and Killian was temporarily forgotten.

"I knew I loved you for a reason. How many did you get?" Ruby asked with barely restrained glee.

"Half a dozen. I figured that way I can actually have one this time," Emma replied with a heavy helping of the sass the two friends were famous for.

"Hmm, well only if you have to…" Ruby teased and the two women laughed at the running joke that Ruby could put food away like no one else without ever gaining a pound. It was hardly fair, but Emma loved Ruby too much to hold her metabolism against her.

"So… has anyone been here for deliveries yet?" Emma asked as she sipped her coffee nonchalantly and Ruby grinned as she shook her head.

"Nope. It's just been little ole' me and a bunch of flowering plants. No signs of Captain Hottie yet."

"Ruby," Emma chastised as she fought to keep a straight face, but even the mention of Killian's ridiculous nickname made her heart skip a beat. Damn her for being so predictable, but she couldn't contain her excitement that he hadn't been in yet. That meant he would be in later when she was here and Emma could hardly wait.

"I know, I know," Ruby sighed dramatically. "No more teasing you about the future husband even though it's so totally obvious you're both in love and definitely going to make babies someday."

"Ruby!" Emma yelped, looking around the store that she knew was still empty for fear that they'd be heard. Not that it would really matter if anyone other than Killian overheard. He didn't live around here like most of her customers did, instead residing in a cottage by the shore in a town thirty minutes from here that Emma always found herself wanting to visit.

"Chill, Ems. It's all good. He's not here yet. Besides, I have a really good feeling about today. Granny had one of her super vivid dreams again and, well, actually maybe I shouldn't say…"

Emma was a half a second away from demanding that Ruby elaborate, because if she'd learned anything from her years of friendship with Ruby it was that Granny Lucas' dreams should never be ignored, but at that moment the first of the day's customers started arriving, and there never seemed to be a slow chunk of time from that point on. There were always people looking to buy some sort of arrangement, and as much as Emma wanted to know about this dream, she couldn't forsake her customers. It took a lot for a florist to be as successful as she had become and a lot of that had to do with her customer service and attention to detail. Emma couldn't give that up just because her stomach was tied in knots over something potentially happening with Killian, and in fact she was so distracted from the work that a few hours later when the man who starred in all her late night fantasies and day time dreaming appeared she didn't notice for a moment. It actually took the clearing of Ruby's throat across the way for Emma to pop up from behind the bushel of lilacs she'd been dealing with, but when her eyes latched onto Killian that familiar sense of awe and desire struck right through her chest.

 _God, he never gets any less hot does he?_ She thought to herself as she took him in.

Her eyes trailed quickly over a very familiar scene wherein which Killian, dressed in a tight flannel shirt and dark wash jeans, looked almost too hot to handle. Killian was always fully clothed in her presence, save for that one glorious July day last summer when she'd caught him wiping away some sweat with the bottom of his t-shirt, but it didn't take x-ray vision or that one fortuitous interlude to know that a muscled physique lay under those casual clothes. Just thinking about those hard muscles and defined lines made Emma's mouth water and her pulse tick up a beat. Killian had the physique of someone who worked out, but not at a gym. No he was more rustic, more manly, and almost problematically attractive as a result. Yet his body was almost nothing compared to the spark that came whenever their eyes met and the deep cobalt blue of his gaze caught hers. His easy smile always turned up to one side, and a bit of his black hair fell against his forehead today, the length edging on the precipice of his needing a haircut even as it perfectly matched the stubble of his beard that showed he hadn't shaved in days. Emma swallowed harshly in the face of it all, and then she remembered she actually had to greet him.

"Hey, you made it," Emma said cheerily and Killian nodded, his hand coming to scratch behind his ear as he stepped towards her, filling the space with the scent of something woodsy and inherently male that always wrapped Emma up in a comforting blanket of safety and desire. _Crap_! She had to keep her wits about her, but it was so damn hard when he was so attractive at every level.

"Aye, love, I did, and I've got something special for you this time."

Innocent as the comment was, Emma found herself blushing at the innuendo that could have been and the lilt of his accent that always lingered with the faintest brush against her skin. Could he possibly know of all the times she'd thought about getting 'something special' from him? Hell, did he know that just last night she'd been in bed and let her fingers roam to the thought of him touching and kissing and loving her the way that only ever happened in her dreams? Rationally Emma knew that he didn't, but she couldn't fend off the wave of heat and yearning at his words. On the outside, however, she tried to play it cool, running her hands over the sundress she was wearing with her favorite little yellow buttercups printed all over, before moving forward to follow him back to his truck where his orchids would be. Unfortunately though, interruption came calling just as they were about to make their escape and just when Emma had geared herself up to make today different and ask him if maybe he'd like to go out sometime.

"Emma, God I'm so sorry but we've got a problem. Turns out Mrs. Hubbard meant to order one hundred calla lilies, but she actually ordered one hundred _Easter_ lilies. Now she's really upset and she only trusts you… I wouldn't intrude but…" Ruby genuinely seemed distraught at cutting into this time, and the look of her friend's expression was enough to tell Emma this really was an emergency in the making. It just felt so unfair that this would happen now when Emma was feeling so good and so hopeful.

"But Mrs. Hubbard is one of our biggest clients," Emma finished as her heart sank and she turned back to Killian. "I'm sorry, and I know you have other stops to get to today, but I'm sure whatever you brought is perfect. Ruby can you…?" 

Emma couldn't even complete the sentence because her voice was cracking at the thought of missing their moment today, but Ruby jumped in and saved her as Emma spared one last look at Killian. She could sense he too was disappointed, but there was nothing she could do. As much as she wanted this to be the moment, it clearly wasn't, and Emma had to deal with the pain in her heart as she went to sort out a problem as creatively as she could despite her not feeling even remotely up to it.

In the end the issue was resolved, and Mrs. Hubbard was as happy as could be, thank goodness, but by the time Emma returned Killian had left. Ruby looked at Emma with something like pity but there was nothing to say. There was always next week, right? And in the moments where Emma felt like it was all just too much, she comforted herself with the gift Killian had brought her. Because the flower that he grew and nurtured for her was special; a rare species of orchid that was a deep, rich, cerulean blue. It was actually the color of the inner ring of Killian's eyes, and even though it felt like a wash of a day, Emma couldn't help but smile every time she looked at it. It was easily a four hundred dollar plant, but Emma knew in her heart she wouldn't sell it. This one she'd keep and cherish as long as she could, because she just needed it after a day like this one.

Hours later, as she was locking up for the night Emma carried that same plant to the little yellow bug she'd had for years. Parked out behind the shop, it was still pretty far from the fray of the cityscape around them, the alleyway softening much of the noise that tended to be in places like this. But where Emma expected to be totally alone, there was a surprise waiting for her out back that took her breath away.

"Killian?" Emma asked, not sure if it was really him until she blinked a few times and he remained, his face still handsome as ever though he looked a little nervous.

"Emma. I'm sorry to bother you so late -,"

"It's no bother," Emma said quickly before he could worry about something that had made her day infinitely better already. "Is everything all right?"

"Aye, love. It's just – well I had a plan when I came in here today. I was going to – well you see I was thinking that – oh bloody hell. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime."

It took a moment for Emma to process the words, mostly because she was so stunned and elated all at once that everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Finally after waiting so long the moment she'd always hoped for was here, and she wanted to savor it even as she wanted to put Killian out of the misery of waiting for a reply. How he could ever doubt that she would say yes? Wasn't it totally obvious that she wanted this too? Perhaps not since he looked like she held the fate of his whole world in the palm of her hands.

"You mean like a date?" Emma clarified, feeling the tension in her voice from all of her emotions, and Killian nodded pulling a smile from her that couldn't be contained. "Yeah, I'd love that."

"You would?" Killian asked, clearly surprised, but taking a step towards her so his hand came to hold hers in his. The lightening that came at his touch was amazing, just like she'd remembered from the day they met and shook hands in hello, and Killian seemed to feel that too, since he looked at a loss for words.

"Mhmm. How does tomorrow work for you?"

"Tomorrow is perfect, Swan," he said with a grin before eyeing the planter she had in her arms and seeing that she had his orchid in her care. "Taking this one home?"

"Uh, yeah. After you left earlier I got to see it and I just couldn't bare to let it go. I was still going to pay you your fee of course but -,"

"There's no need to, love. If you want it, it's yours. Truth be told it was always meant for you." His words were firm and sincere and Emma felt them wash over her as he offered to take the plant and put it securely in her car for her. Once that was done and her door was shut, they looked at each other again, both of them waiting a beat before Emma filled the space between them.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Emma asked and Killian nodded.

"Tomorrow," he agreed before he took her hand again and kissed it gently. Emma shivered at the contact, but she felt a loss when he turned around and headed back for his truck.

"Wait!" she said, and immediately Killian turned looking at her with concern. It was clear in that moment just how much he cared for her, it was written so plainly on his face, and seeing that look that fell no short of love Emma knew what she had to do. She closed the space between them before pulling him in by the collar of his jacket and kissing him the way she'd wanted to for a very long time.

The kiss went on forever and yet was over too soon, and the flare of pure vibrancy and life that coursed through Emma was heady and unreal. She felt like anything was possible in the face of such a kiss, and tucked away as she was here in Killian's strong arms she knew she'd never felt more at home than she did right now. This was what it felt like to find the one person you were always meant to be with, and Emma knew even if it sounded crazy that this kiss was the start of a long and happy journey she and Killian would share from here on out. Granny Lucas had been right – today was a day to remember always.

"I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to do that," Emma whispered as they came back up for air, explaining something she knew that Killian was already well aware of. His smile at that was beautiful, and his hand came to cup her cheek as his thumb brushed lightly across her lips.

"I think the time for waiting is over, Emma. Now I've tasted perfection there'll be no turning back."

"Good," Emma replied, and with one more quick kiss the two of them went their separate ways, neither of them wanting to leave the other, but both of them knowing that tomorrow would bring more of this joyful sense of being and a whole new adventure for the two of them to share.

….

 _What a difference one year can make,_ Killian thought to himself the following spring as the train sounded down the tracks, rolling in at the same exact time that it always had.

Yet while some routines remained, life was entirely different now than it had been then. For one thing the solitude was gone, the loneliness all but forgotten, and the light Killian had been missing was now never far from his reach. He and Emma had started something all because he'd let those pent up words of wanting slip out of his mouth a year ago. The exact request of a date with just the two of them could be seen as asking for very little, but that spoken wish had led to so much more. One date had turned to many, one kiss to countless others, and after two years of build up the romance came easy. The comfort was there and that feeling of never being so alive and so adventurous while also feeling safe enough to share his burdens with Emma too was the best thing he'd ever known. His Swan had saved him in so many ways, and now here they were, watching the twilight and the train go by from the porch swing Killian had put here just for the two of them.

"Sometimes I swear I'm going to wake up and realize this was all a dream," Emma murmured from her place beside him, tucked up in his embrace as she watched the train pass as the lingering light of the now gone sun slipped away.

"It's hard to imagine such a life after the one's we led, my love. But we were always meant to be. We were always meant to find our way here."

Emma smiled at that, her hand absentmindedly coming to cover the bump of her newly showing belly. Sometime late this summer they'd be welcoming their first child, and Killian couldn't imagine a greater gift, save for his chance to love Emma as he deserved. Calling her his wife, knowing that they were forever tied together and that they'd share their story side by side, made every day the best day it could be. There was no more wondering. There was no more doubt about where he stood or what he wanted. There was only certainty that he was the luckiest of men and that he would always cherish the opportunity to belong to this gorgeous, precious woman at his side.

Six months ago, in a fall wedding that was like something from a fairy tale, the two of them had tied the knot in a ceremony out here on their land, surrounded by a picturesque autumnal landscape and all their well-wishers and best friends. Perhaps it might have seemed crazy to some, to marry so quickly after starting to truly give this a go, but Killian had known from the first moment that this was what he wanted. Emma swore she felt the same way and so it seemed silly to wait when all was considered. Why put off what they could have now for a distant future? Why sacrifice the present because people might think they lacked patience or sense? The two of them were confident in the love they had, and that had been more than enough.

Despite the time that had lapsed since then, Killian could remember every detail of their wedding and he held those images close to his heart always. At any given moment Emma was the loveliest woman he'd ever known, but on that morning she'd been something else entirely. Dressed in white lace and donning a genuine smile that spoke to how truly happy she was, as the rays of golden sun glistened in her hair, she'd nearly stopped his heart. It felt like all of the light in the world was reserved for his Swan and that everything else faded away in that moment. There was no reception of people, no minister, nothing except for Emma and him, taking a step towards forever at last. It was almost impossible to behold such perfection, but somehow he'd done it, taking her hand in his and promising her the whole world should she wish for it.

" _Emma, I wish there was a way to truly tell you all that I feel, to express to you what your love has brought my life and how you've changed me and made me the man I always wanted to be. And though I've never been the best with words, I'll try and give it a shot: Since the day that we met, you have illuminated something long missing from my very soul. You cut through the noise and the silence alike. You mended a heart that was sure its best of days were behind it, and you've taught me with every passing hour that there is nothing that can harm me – nothing that can touch this perfect feeling – as long as I have you. Together we're building a life and living a dream –_ our _dream – and I can't say how ready and how happy I am to be starting this with you here and now. You are my always and my forever, Emma, and I will love you until the end of time."_

Teary-eyed as she'd been after his vows, Killian knew that his woman was nothing if not up for any challenge. He had no doubt at all that she would hear his professed words of devotion and match them with ones of her own, but Emma had delivered something more melodic, more beautiful, and more magical than even he could conceive. Her words had been effortless and brilliant all in one, and for all his days and even after he was gone they'd be tattooed on his very being.

" _Killian – in all the imaginings I had about my life and my future, I never allowed myself to_ really _believe that it would be like this. I was afraid to let love in, to risk my heart. But the scariest part was letting go, and after I did that – after I trusted in you and in us – the rest was easy. You've proven to me that what we have is real and good. It's beautiful and precious, and it's enough to chase away every ghost from both our pasts and fend off any troubles that may come our way. In all honesty, the only word I have for what your love makes me feel is magic. And I know magic is supposed to be something reserved for children and for storybooks, but with you I'm not so sure that's true. Because you make me see everything differently. You make me believe in the impossible. You make me brave enough to hope when hope was something I never could risk before. I'll never be able to tell you how thankful I am for that, and for you. All I can say is that I love you, and I can't wait to love you my whole life and forever after."_

"I can't wait to share all of this with the baby," Emma said dreamily, her words cutting into Killian's memory as her eyes cast out over the farm and fixed on the gardens they'd worked so hard on making for this spring.

Once a rather barren place, this land was now truly starting to come to life with a mix of random wildflowers and carefully selected blossoms alike. Beyond it were the fields and the trees that had always been here, and off in the distance those waves upon the nearby coast still washed ever so softly. It was an enchanted place, and somehow Emma coming had not only brought Killian back to life, but it had brought his home and his land just as much. This place was perfect, and Killian was just as eager to share it with their little one and all the others that might come thereafter, but before he could say that, Emma beat him to the punch with another thought.

"She's going to love it, I just know it."

The comment might seem to a stranger like it was nothing but sweet sentiment, but Killian felt the ache in his chest at all that Emma had just given away. They hadn't found out yet what they were having, but when Emma turned to look at him with her smile and happy tears in her eyes Killian knew that she had discovered the truth and he was overjoyed. A little girl, an angel who would no doubt be just like her mother, was joining their little family soon, and Killian felt choked up from the raw emotion of finding it out like this.

" _She_? We're having a girl?" He asked, and Emma nodded as her hand came to cup his cheek and her thumb brushed ever so slightly across the place where bare flesh met the scruff of his beard.

"Mhmm. Ruby's Grandma had another dream…" Emma said with a surprisingly straight face, causing Killian's brow to instinctively rise. Emma was seriously giving this kind of power to the admittedly often-correct guesses of her best friend's Gran? But then Emma giggled and shook her head. "And the doctor called today too."

Killian didn't know whether to scold Emma for the teasing or laugh at it, but neither needed to happen since their lips met in that moment and the sweetness of this blissful moment in time and the shared joy of their good fortune soon melted to something hotter and more fueled by need. They were used to this at this point, aware that the chemistry and the fire between them was nowhere near disappearing, and instead of torturing either of them with something long and drawn out, Killian decided to take what he wanted. In seconds he was on his feet with his wife swept up in his arms as he headed into the house, and as he carried her in, hearing the light hearted laughter that sang out between them and entering the home they'd built together, Killian knew that life was really and truly _good_ and that with Emma in his arms it always would be.

….

Swept off her feet was an apt description of Emma's relationship with her loving husband, and as he brought her into the house to no doubt deliver on the taste of foreplay between them out their on the porch swing, Emma couldn't help but think back to how this giddy feeling of rightness had been there from the start.

About a year ago Emma and Killian had gone on their first date, and after a first kiss that should have been reserved for one of those classic romantic movies, Emma hadn't known what to expect. It was all so up in the air and it felt like a big, huge, gigantic deal that things were finally happening, but Emma knew even then that whatever Killian had planned she would love. Yet even she couldn't have imagined all the stops he would pull for her, and that dinner under the stars at the Public Gardens private greenhouse had been unreal. Maybe it was a good guess on his part, given her obvious love of flowers and greenery, but everything was purposeful and full of thought from the white twinkle lights that were strung up in the canopies above to the gourmet grilled cheese and onion rings that were on their special menu. Emma had no idea how he could know her favorite foods or her favorite place, but it was clear from that point on that Killian _did_ know her almost better than she knew herself.

With such a connection between them love came oh so swiftly. She'd been halfway there before they'd so much as gone on a single date, but in the weeks and months that followed Emma couldn't stop the blissful fall. There hadn't been anything like fear in it either, and though she'd had to learn to grow in some ways, Emma never doubted that all their choices were right for what they wanted and for the life they were trying to build together. They were moving quickly, what with moving in together and getting married in close succession, and now they had a baby on the way too, but to Emma it was perfect. She couldn't even think of slowing down when she'd waited so long for this man and for this chance. Instead she embraced every opportunity and she allowed herself the best of all worlds.

Despite the argument that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too, Emma knew that she could own a business, be a wife, and soon be a mother with the right kind of framework set up and with Killian's love and support. As a first step to securing that Emma made Ruby a partner, helping to ease off some of her commitments so she could cut down her physical days in the shop to three a week when their little girl came this summer. Someday she might go back to more, but right now everything was about balance and prioritizing the things that mattered most. For Emma that was family, and that family was only possible because of this man who carried her with such tenderness and care.

"You're not going to be able to do this much longer," Emma murmured as her fingertips ran across the top of his flannel shirt that was slightly unbuttoned, teasing out the course hair underneath. "Soon I'll be as big as a house, or so everyone tells me."

"You know I love a challenge, Swan," Killian joked as they made it to the top of the stairs and into their bedroom. "But not to worry. I'd never put you or our little lass at risk. I'll find other ways to ravish you properly."

Emma swallowed harshly at that as Killian lay her down atop their bed. That word – ravish – was one she'd heard before from Killian and he wasn't being hyperbolic. Every time they came together like this he fulfilled Emma in ways that were indescribable. Her blood thrummed with heat at the thought of it and her pulse ticked up as she wet her lips in anticipation. Her husband watched all of this closely, his eyes locked on her as he moved to strip the shirt he'd been wearing off. The sultry action had Emma's head spinning, and all she could wonder was how he'd love her tonight and if she'd be able to take it or if she'd finally die and go to heaven.

"The answer to your question is simple, Swan. I'll give you everything and more, just as I always do."

Emma didn't even know if she'd asked the question allowed, but Killian certainly answered her internal musings with authority. As he did so he also teased her bit by bit, easing down the zipper at the side of this dress that had at most a few weeks left of wearability. Then he slipped it off of her, stripping down the leggings beneath but taking his time with the lace she wore underneath. His eyes were molten at the sight of her and Emma would have grinned triumphantly if she were capable of it. As it was, she was too wrapped up in the feel of his hands moving against her, his body coming over her as she lay back against the bed, his presence hot and hard and domineering.

"Every damn time you do this to me, Emma," Killian growled out, his fingertips tracing the red edges of her barely there bra before he came to unclasp the front of it with deft fingers and the precision of a man used to seductively undressing his wife. "All prim and proper on the outside, and then a vixen underneath."

"You aren't complaining are you?" Emma asked, meaning to sound more confident, but finding her voice was airy and filled with a quivered sense of desire as he trailed kisses from her lips down her jaw and to her neck.

"Never, my love. You might drive me to an early grave one of these days, but God, it'll be worth it to have you like this and know you're all mine."

"And you're mine," Emma said as her hands roamed over him, her mind thinking of what she could do to flip the tables and have him as aroused as quickly as he had made her, but then his mouth was on her breasts and she was sidetracked, blinded by the pleasure of his attentions.

Killian knew just what to do, how to lick, suck, nip, and Emma was totally beholden to this moment. She felt the need coil low in her gut like a spring, winding tighter and tighter and tighter and he'd barely taken this anywhere. His fingers were only just edging up her thigh, and by the time he grazed ever so lightly across the soaked material of her panties Emma was gasping out. She could try and pretend it was baby hormones, but that would be a lie. This was all Killian, and her body had no choice but to succumb to his plans that always ended in the most delicious release.

First with his fingers he took her right to the brink, knowing exactly how to play it so her lust crept higher and higher, but when she was nearly there he stopped, pulling away and bringing his fingers up to lick. The sinful gesture left Emma even more needy. Seeing her husband like this, almost like an animal when to everyone else he was nothing but a gentleman, was overwhelming enough, but then he was kissing down her body, leaving marks from the scratch of his beard and the edge of his kisses. That roughness was perfectly balanced, however, with only the tenderest of attentions to where their baby was currently growing.

"I love you, Emma," Killian said as he hovered above her bump. "And I love this little one with everything in me too. How I'll ever thank you for giving me all of this… God, I'll never have a way."

Emma debated telling him the truth, which was that there was no thanks needed. How could she expect thanks when Killian had just as much power over her happiness and her feelings of contentment as she did for him? But while caving to the sweetness was tempting, it would be oh so much more delicious if she took this another way. Emma could poke at that primitive need in Killian to satisfy her and claim her as his, and since she knew that their usual sparks flamed so much hotter when she did, it was an easily made choice.

"I wouldn't say that…" Emma counseled as she tried to speak with seductive tone that held more control than she felt. "You could actually follow through instead of teasing me."

That was it. The gauntlet was thrown and no sooner had Killian growled out that she didn't know what she was asking for, than his mouth was right where she wanted him, landing hot and eager on the slick flesh of her sex. Thoughts flew from Emma's mind and there was only sensation. It wasn't teasing either but demanding and oh so freaking good! She couldn't stop the climax that had been building up from crashing over her, but it wasn't enough to appease her husband. Saddled with a challenge he was set on satisfying every need and only when she'd come again and was right at the edge of more did he relent, crawling back up her body and meeting her eyes as he filled her with one long hard thrust.

"Killian!" Emma moaned as her hands gripped at him for purchase. She couldn't even get the rest of her thoughts out. Did she want more? Harder? Faster? She hardly knew. All Emma was certain of was that she needed her husband, trusted him more than anything, and that she was so close to breaking apart again as he kept up his perfectly timed tempo, designed to get them both exactly where they needed to be.

"Let go, Emma. You know I won't stop until you've given me what I want, and I want you. All of you."

Emma did know that, and the edge of command along with the raw need in his voice was all it took for her to obey that wish. She cried out his name again, pulling him down to kiss and feeling like she was floating as she eventually came back to herself. Sex should never be that good. It just wasn't fair to everyone else who didn't get to enjoy something so divine, but hell if Emma cared. She was just so freaking happy and she knew as she looked over to Killian, who was lying on his side, perched up to look at her with a gaze of pure adoration and love, that he felt just the same. This was their happily ever after, and after so many years apart, and so many trials that they'd both had to face alone, they were more than worthy of it.

"You know what would be amazing right now?" Emma asked some time later after the two of them had cuddled together and she'd traced a hundred tiny maps that all lead to his heart across his skin. But Killian didn't need any actual hints to know what she was thinking. Instead he kissed her lightly before grinning and getting up from the bed, giving her a full view of that body of his that always drove her crazy even if he'd just ravished her completely.

"Aye, love. Cleaning up the mess we've made just to do it all over again."

And with that new plan in place, and the promise of a romantic soak with her loving husband followed by a night wrapped up in his embrace, Emma allowed herself to feel all the bliss and magic that love could bring. For that was her new fate and her enduring destiny: she and Killian would always have this love no matter where life would take them, and Emma for one could hardly wait.

….

 _All of the lights land on you  
The rest of the world fades from view  
And all of the love I see  
Please please say you feel it too  
And all of the noise I hear inside  
Restless and loud, unspoken and wild  
And all that you need to say  
To make it all go away  
It's that you feel the same way too_

 _And I know  
The scariest part is letting go  
'Cause love is a ghost you can't control  
I promise you the truth can't hurt us now  
So let the words slip out of your mouth_

 _And all of the steps that led me to you  
And all of the hell I had you walk through  
But I wouldn't trade a day for the chance to say  
My love, I'm in love with you_

 _And I know  
The scariest part is letting go  
'Cause love is a ghost you can't control  
I promise you the truth can't hurt us now  
So let the words slip out of your mouth_

 _I know that we're both afraid  
We both made the same mistakes  
An open heart is an open wound to you  
And in the wind there's a heavy choice  
Love has a quiet voice  
Still you mind, now I'm yours to choose_

 _And I know  
The scariest part is letting go  
Let my love be the light that guides you home_

 _And I know  
The scariest part is letting go  
'Cause love is a ghost you can't control  
I promise you the truth can't hurt us now  
So let the words slip out of your mouth_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it. As I said, many of you have already read this story and left me great comments and messages on all my different platforms. For those of you who hadn't read, however, I hope that you enjoyed. I'm hoping to add a totally new installment of the mixtape (probably this weekend), but in the meantime, I hope you all have a lovely week, and thanks so much for reading!**_


	175. At Last

_**A/N: This song is undoubtedly one of the great classics of all time. Moving, lovely, and pristine, Etta James is a marvel and a treasure and so including 'At Last' in the mixtape has been a LONG time coming. I actually can't believe it has taken so long to get here, but after a half a dozen or so of you asking for me to write this, the time finally seems right. As you all might expect this will be a fluff-tastic drabble this time, and I'm actually having it take place during season 4 on Emma and Killian's first date, after the Will fiasco but before they get back to Emma's place. It's an added scene that I've had in my head a long time and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing.**_

Dating, and first dates in particular, had never been a comfortable thing for Emma. Even in her cursed life, with memories that weren't really hers, and a sense of stability that truly hadn't been earned in any way, there was always that level of awkwardness and usually a lack of real chemistry. Tonight however, things had been different. Sure there were bumps in the road, not the least of which was that flare up at the restaurant, but what mattered most wasn't the details, it was the person she was with.

After trying to deny her feelings for so long, Emma had actually felt relief when she opened the door tonight and found Killian waiting for her. Of course there was also a substantial amount of attraction, and a real and true wish that she had her own place so her parents and Elsa weren't watching on with so much interest, but when her hand was in Killian's everything seemed to click. Sure there were butterflies, and yes that anxious sense of anticipation first dates were famous for was out in full force, but it never outweighed the simple comfort of being with him or the flare of hope his presence always sparked no matter where they seemed to be.

It was for this reason that Emma really didn't want the night to end. They were walking back now from the restaurant, heading in the direction of the loft, but Emma found herself wanting to stall. She didn't want the night to be over so quickly, and since she'd been so cautious and slow-moving up until asking him on this date, she knew Killian wouldn't push for more. It was up to Emma then to come up with something – anything – that would allow them a little more time alone, and when the idea finally sparked she smiled and looked up to Killian as she paused right there on the sidewalk.

"So I know you wanted to plan the evening, but I have this idea… do you trust me?"

"Without question," Killian said with no trace of hesitation in his tone, and though there had been something almost haunted at points this evening in his eyes, that was a glorious truth that couldn't be denied.

He did trust her, and with that one simple look he also told her that nothing would make him happier than granting her wish. That sense of trust meant everything to Emma, and as she redirected their path, leading out of the common way of the main street and to the place she had in mind, she felt her confidence rising even more. This was arguably a risk for Emma, to confess something she'd always thought of as romantic but never dreamed to share with someone, but the risk felt worth it. Given everything that was going on around them, and given how precious these moments alone always ended up being, she wanted to chance it, and she wanted to share this with Killian in way she'd never wanted to with anyone else.

After a few minutes of walking they arrived at her intended destination, a small park that had been here as long as Storybrooke had, but for some reason wasn't fully utilized by the people of the town. It wasn't as large as some of the other ones in Storybrooke, and there was no playground for the kids or picnic tables for the townspeople, but there was one little bit of architectural genius tucked away here – an ivory gazebo crafted in an elegant New England style that felt plucked out of time and space. Since the whole town was the effect of a curse Regina had crafted, Emma knew it was literally made of magic, but since her earliest days as sheriff Emma noted no one else had really noticed this spot, and certainly no one took advantage of its beauty or its peacefulness.

"It's lovely, Swan," Killian said as his hand squeezed Emma's a little tighter. "Can't say I've ever been here before, which is strange given how small this town is."

"Yeah," Emma agreed. "It's hidden I guess, but that's not everything. Just wait."

Emma reluctantly let go of his hand for a second as she went to the lamppost closest to gazebo. There, hidden on the structure, was a box with a tiny white switch, and when Emma flipped it on the whole place lit up with twinkling lights. They glowed in that transcendent way that was usually reserved for Christmas time and the cheesiest of romance movies, but once they were lit, there was no denying that this place really looked like something out of a storybook. For Emma, the same sense of wonder flooded her system, but seeing Killian's grin as he took it in and knowing he was seeing this for the first time and enjoying it just as much as Emma had meant more to her than she could say.

"It's beautiful, Emma," Killian said as she stepped back to him, but the look in his eyes told her that he might find this place enchanting, but he still felt more wrapped up in her than any scenery around them. "I just have one request."

"Okay…" Emma said with surprise as she awaited his plea but knowing she'd accept whatever it was. "What is it?"

"Dance with me," he replied her, making her heart flutter and then clench in her chest.

"You want to dance?" Emma asked in shock, not having expected things to take this turn at all, but knowing that as soon as he said the words it was all she wanted to do. Another dance with Killian, this time without the potential destruction of the timeline she'd been born from sounded really _really_ nice. Still she had one concern, one tiny reservation about what would otherwise be a pretty perfect suggestion. "But there's no music."

"Ah, but you've a phone, love, and if my introductory immersion into this realm has taught me anything, its that anything can be done with that contraption of yours."

He was right. She did have her phone and there was music on there, so with a few quick clicks she had a song all chosen, the only song that she could think of playing in such a moment. She hesitated for just a second though, glancing up at Killian. Because once she played this song there would be no more hiding. He would know how much this date and this moment in time here with him meant to her - how much _he_ meant to her - and she had to ask herself if she was ready for that.

 _Yes_ , the voice in her head counseled. _I'm ready for it._

With the decision firmly made, Emma pressed play, putting her phone on one of the ledges in the gazebo before taking her place in Killian's arms. This was a familiar feeling, though less intense and forced than their time in the Enchanted Forest, but as Emma stepped into his embrace she felt the warmth wash over her and the music started to play, with Etta James' sultry tones singing out around them.

 _At last my love has come along_

 _My lonely days are over and life is like a song, oh yeah_

 _At last the skies above are blue_

 _My heart was wrapped up clover the night I looked at you_

 _I found a dream that I could speak to_

 _A dream that I can call my own_

 _I found a thrill to press my cheek to_

 _A thrill I've never known, oh yeah_

 _You smiled, you smiled oh and then the spell was cast_

 _And here we are in Heaven_

 _For you are mine at last_

It felt almost dreamlike to be in this moment, dancing in this light pink dress that was so much more hopeful and picturesque than anything she'd usually try and wear. Emma should have been nervous, or afraid to misstep as she had been when they'd first done this together, but she wasn't in the slightest. Instead she was drawn into Killian, surrounded by this warmth and scent and general aura as her eyes locked on his, finding in them all of the same need and passion and want that she felt. In that moment, Emma swore that she would remember every second of this dance and this date for years and years to come. She could tell that this was different, a final first so to speak, and though she'd never say those words allowed, she felt like all the rocky roads of her journey so far had led her here, to this man and to this moment.

Tonight's date felt like a point in Emma's life that would imprint on her very soul. No forgetting curse or separation would diminish it, and no matter what happened between her and Killian after tonight, this memory would always be here. She just hoped that whatever may come they could really give this thing between them a try. It felt so big, so seemingly perfect despite all its imperfections, that Emma had to believe that this instinct and this pull between them meant something. Yet only time would tell, and time, unfortunately for now, was not on their side. There was still a danger here in Storybrooke, a crisis that needed solving, and a town full of people that needed to be kept safe. Because of that, tonight could only be a moment, but Emma clung to that moment as long as she could, grounding herself in it, so that when trouble did come calling once again she'd have this to keep the faith.

As the music wound down, and the last flickers of the melody died away, Emma couldn't bring herself to immediately leave Killian's embrace. Reason told her that she should be more alert to their surroundings and that it was best not to tarry out here too much longer. They'd already taken a risk by being in the open like this, but with Killian's blue eyes locked on her and his arms around her it felt impossible for Emma to pull back.

Right here, right now, she felt totally safe and content. There was no big bad icy villain wreaking havoc in her town. There were no monsters banging down her door and threatening her family and her friends. There was only this little slice of unexpected hope, and Emma felt for the first time in so long like being greedy. Maybe it was selfish to keep indulging like this, but she didn't care. Her gut was telling her to trust, to fall deeper into this despite the lack of 'ideal' timing, and so she decided in this moment to do that. From now on she'd stop running. She'd do her best to just give in, and she'd believe in her judgment and in the man she knew Killian to be to the best of her ability.

"Quite a song you chose, Swan," Killian murmured, drawing Emma from the internal thoughts she was grappling with. "I think it's safe to say it's just become my favorite."

"Is that right?" Emma asked with a smile, her eyes flicking down to his lips where a soft grin had appeared, showing a more vulnerable side to this pirate who had a habit of sneaking past all her forms of resistance.

"Aye," he replied softly as his hand cupper her cheek, his thumb brushing across her lips gently. "It's been a long wait to get to this, but at last here we are."

"It was only what, two – maybe three – hundred years for you?" Emma teased, trying for lightness while her heart felt ready to beat out of her chest. "That doesn't seem so bad a wait."

Emma expected Killian to playfully respond, to banter with her a little more in that way she was so fond of, but he took her by surprise as he closed the space between them and kissed her with all the passion and the fire and the wanting that she craved. This was no delicate kiss, no passive sign of affection. It was a testament to how serious he was about what he'd said and about the two of them trying this out. The force of it, and the meaning behind this stolen interlude overwhelmed Emma, not just with the lust and the desire coursing through her veins, but by the way it made her feel when they pulled apart. She knew right now this was a raw and real moment, and whatever words he was about to grace her with would be absolutely true and probably change her world forever.

"I don't want to scare you, Emma, but believe me when I say I would do it all again – I'd face every year of darkness, however long it took, if it meant finding my way back to this, back to _you_."

"I'm glad you found me," Emma whispered, pulling a grin to Killian's lips again. "Keep finding me, okay?"

"Always, love."

With that, and a final swift kiss, the two of them walked hand in hand back to the loft and back to reality once more. And though Emma's instincts were proved right, and things did get crazy again in no time at all, Killian always kept his word, and Emma always kept the memory of their first date close to her heart along with all the other precious moments that true love brought to her and Killian for years and years to come.

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it. I hope that you guys enjoyed this little slice of cuteness! Thank you to the readers who requested this song, and thank you to all of you who have sent prompts. You are all so creative and patient seeing as how long it's taking me to write some of these and I really appreciate it. Anyway, hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend and thanks so much for reading!**_


	176. Wildest Dreams

_**A/N: So I would say almost a year ago (seriously that is how long its been) I got a great request for another Taylor Swift song in the mixtape. I love 'Wildest Dreams' but the thing that hung me up was the particular request for Dark Hook and Dark Swan. Here's where my little bit of honesty has to come in – I didn't actually watch the episodes where Killian is the Dark one except for when he sacrifices himself… I know I know, it's terrible, but I made amends and watched 5x10 recently just so that I could write this. Basically it will involve Killian not going full dark and crazy, and then we'll get some Dark Ones smut because, well come on now, who am I to pass that up? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

Why could nothing in her life ever go according to plan?

Emma could have lingered in that question for hours, running through the injustices the universe kept throwing her way until the night was over and morning returned, but she honestly didn't have the time. It helped no one to sit around and rue the fact that Killian had been hurt, that the world had tried yet again to split them apart, and that she'd made a choice to keep them together while still tearing them apart as a result. All she could do was try and fix this and try to make something – anything – good come from what could only be called a royal shit show of a situation.

She was the Dark One now, gripped by an evil so strong it nearly stole the breath from her lungs, and it scared the crap out of her to not feel herself and to know in her heart that she was tainted now and made less of a person by these immortal 'gifts.' But the realest fear that resided low in her gut, blasting past the call of the Darkness inside her, wasn't about her. It was about Killian. She had made him doubt himself, and doubt her love and her belief in him.

" _There's never been a moment where I didn't believe in you, where I didn't trust you. But you clearly don't believe in me anymore!"_

Those words would likely haunt Emma for the rest of her life. However long that was, she'd carry the scars of this with her always, but she had to believe that they would get past this terrible moment, and whether Killian understood her way of thinking or not, she never doubted that Killian could pull through this trying time. She was only attempting to protect him, but in doing so she'd undermined so much of the love they'd worked towards. She'd made a horrible situation that much worse, and she'd failed Killian, a man who was good at his core despite all he'd been through and all the suffering he'd been privy to for hundreds of years. Only he wasn't just that man now, he was just as powerful as she was, just as at risk of slipping into the darkness as she felt every single moment, and he was reeling from it all in an unstable and dangerous kind of way.

Yet even more terrifying than the chance that Killian could hurt someone or hurt himself by having this kind of power was that anger he had for her right now, that undeniable resentment that she would throw him back into the clutches of darkness again after he'd worked so hard to get out of it. Emma hadn't been thinking that way back in Camelot. She hadn't really considered the consequences Killian's soul would face as she tied their lives together and gave over to a cursed kind of living. All she could see and all that she knew was that she couldn't live without him. In retrospect that wasn't fair of her. She'd taken away his choice, his right to die with honor and on the side of good, and she knew that powerlessness was a heavy heavy burden for anyone to carry.

Even if she did it to save him, and even if she had a plan to rid them of the darkness once and for all, it still wasn't fair to Killian. She hadn't given him a say, and now she'd been making steps forward without being totally honest, and that kind of betrayal might be too hard to overcome. Even if he was the man she knew and the man she'd fallen in love with without the darkness clutching at his heart it would be hard. It would be a wound that might never heal properly that Emma felt terrible for bestowing. But with the power of the Dark One clinging to him now, there was a chance Killian would never forgive her, and the thought made her ache from the center of her chest through every single piece of her being, body and soul.

Walking towards the edge of the meadow filled with flowers once again Emma called out Killian's name a few times, silently begging him to answer. If he'd just come to her naturally she wouldn't have to do this last awful thing. But it was too much to hope for really. She'd ruined that chance, and she couldn't expect him to come back so willingly. As such, she'd have to hurt him again, and her heart clenched at the thought as she whispered aloud to herself.

"Just one last terrible moment," Emma said, her voice sounding just as foreign and cold as it had since she'd given over to evil though it carried a ring of some familiar emotion in it. "After this, I won't hurt him anymore. After this, I'll make it right."

She silently summoned Excalibur and fought with herself. This wasn't fair, it wasn't right, but it had to be done. It was the only way to speak to him and to make him hear her. After that he could make his own choice. She could only hope he would choose to forgive.

"Dark One, I summon thee."

The words tumbled out so quickly because she hated to say them, but with a puff of magic he appeared, looking just as miserable and angry as he had before. He was tired, ravaged by all that had happened, and Emma was fighting to keep it together. God was she even able to cry as the Dark One? She felt the tears pooling, but shouldn't she get at least one positive thing from all this power? Couldn't she just hold it together?

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to get you here," she said, and he replied instantly with a cold, unfeeling tone.

"You could have given me a choice."

"We need to talk about this," she begged him but he wasn't ready.

"Do you have any idea how it feels to not be in control of yourself?" He asked with venom lacing every word. "The last time a Dark One controlled me, I had to watch as Rumplestilskin almost killed you. I had to kneel, powerless, while he almost crushed my heart!"

"I know exactly how it feels," Emma yelled back, her own emotion getting the better of her. "All my life, everyone abandoned me!"

"I didn't abandon you," he said firmly, the sadness of that fact hitting harder than his anger and his rage.

"I know," Emma admitted. "But I was about to lose you to the darkness. When I'm scared that's when my walls go up. That's when I stop trusting the people around me. You know this."

Killian looked like he was about to reply, but Emma wasn't finished, so she took the risk and interrupted him again.

"I know it isn't right, Killian. What I did to you… it wasn't fair, but you have to believe that I only did it because I couldn't handle losing you. I couldn't live in a world where you weren't right there with me, and loving you that much, knowing that I could give my heart to someone so truly was all the proof I needed to know that we can get through this."

For a moment Killian was quiet, and Emma felt like she'd run a marathon. Her chest heaved with exertion and emotion as she waited, and then a softness came over Killian's face and she had to ask him what he was thinking.

"It's just I'm usually the one who has to say that first," he murmured and Emma nodded.

"And that's one of the reasons I know that I _can_ trust you, Killian. Where I've been weak, or scared, or timid in this thing between us, you have always been strong. You have given me strength. You have loved me enough to know never to try and control me, and you have made me better by being as patient and hopeful and constant as you are. Now it's time for me to let you lead."

Emma extended her hand holding the sword offering it to Killian, who hesitated for a moment before taking it.

"I'm still scared, Killian," Emma whispered. "I'm scared I've ruined things. I'm scared that pretty picture in my head of you and me and the house, back in Storybrooke with everyone safe and happy won't come true. I'm scared I won't be enough to make it better, that I won't get to have you as long as I want, but I am not scared of you. I trust you and I love you."

"Don't," Killian said, causing Emma to furrow her brow before he handed her back the sword. "Don't trust me with this, Emma. Because I love you too, and I want what you want still. For better or worse I want to try at having what you think we can have, but you're wrong. I might have led us in some ways, but in goodness you will always show me the way."

"I don't understand," Emma said as she took the sword back. "I'm trying to prove that we're in this together."

"And I believe you," Killian said as he stepped forward, pulling her close against him in an intimate hold she was so scared she'd lost not long before. "I forgive you, Emma. The man I want to be, the man inside forgives you. But this… I can't be trusted with such power. Even now, holding you in my arms, the demons aren't fully quiet. My lust for revenge lives on. It nags at all corners of my mind and all I can think is that I need to get back to Storybrooke and kill Gold once and for all. So the sword is safer with you."

Emma looked into his eyes, seeing how honest he was being and how much it was killing him both to admit that darkness and to give her the sword. She was awed by his ability to give this up, for she didn't have the same kind of vengeful scars on her heart. If she did, she didn't think she could give up the chance to avenge old grievances, but here was Killian, showing again that he was worthy and brave and good no matter what pressure he was under.

"You're sure?" Emma asked, wanting to make sure that this was his choice and he nodded.

"Aye, love. And if I succumb at any point… don't let me change my mind. Whatever you do, whatever lies the darkness says about hating you, don't let me give in."

"Never," Emma replied, whisking the sword away with magic to a place no one but she could ever find and then pulling him closer. "We can do this, Killian. We can rise above all of this. I promise you, we will find a way… and in the meantime I have an idea."

Her hands ran along the leather lapel of his jacket, tracing over his body with a purposefully flirtatious feel that immediately alerted Killian to her intentions. She felt the growl that left his throat, it was almost animalistic and certainly more gruff and forceful than he'd been with her before all this, but it sent a delicious sort of thrill through Emma and had a rare sultry grin spreading across her lips.

"An idea?" he asked, his voice horse as his hook came to brush away her hair and his hand held her close to him. "Do tell, Swan."

"It's probably better if I show you, actually," she said before pulling him down for a kiss and immediately feeling the flare of passion and heat and chemistry despite the strange situation. Turned out evil didn't keep the lust they had from fading, if anything it ramped them up, bringing more aggression to the forefront and causing this endless pull of need to form in both of them.

Emma couldn't be sure whose magic was at work with all of this, but she wished in her mind for a place to have this and a quaint country cottage appeared around them right there in the forest. She barely noticed it though, or the massive bed that appeared to be the only piece of furnishing inside, not when Killian had pressed her against the door, letting every hard edge of his heated figure press against her in a tantalizing way. His mouth was on hers, his hand and hook roaming, tearing off the leather jacket that she wore and the shirt underneath, revealing more and more of her unusually pale flesh to his gaze. This was a hard and hot handling, a perusal designed to entice her and though it was hardly slow, Emma wanted faster. She wasn't willing to wait anymore and she was just as adamant to see him as he was to see her, but between the jacket and all those freaking buttons, she was at a loss, causing Killian to chuckle in a deep, gravely way.

"Darkness or not, love, you still have all the same expressions, and just as much impatience as before."

Emma's mind flashed to the few stolen interludes she and Killian had up to now. They'd been hot, yes, and sex with Killian was easily the best she'd ever had, but it was also rushed. The world around them was always a hot mess, and right now was no exception, but she felt like she could be a little bit more selfish this time. She wasn't caving to the darkness, but she wasn't out here living to be the savior either. Tonight she'd give in to what she wanted, and she wanted a full night of no interruptions with the man she loved and who miraculously still loved her in return.

"And you are still a complete and total tease," Emma said with a huff, knowing as she said the words that the challenge was thrown.

She couldn't have imagined a better reaction. One second Killian was taking things slowly, and the next he was in motion, unconsciously using a bit of magic to get them both into the bed and completely bared to each other. Her hair was no longer held tight back in the dark one fashion, and though it was icy in color now and strange compared to her usual blonde, Killian ran his fingers through it, his gaze holding all the heat of before but also softening in a way that transcended darkness. There he was, her Killian, and she didn't have to ask to know that her suggestion of taking things further between them was working. He was totally here with her, totally drawn into this, and knowing that he was still here and still choosing her had Emma pulling him down to kiss.

The push and pull of all her wants right now tugged Emma in every direction. She was tantalized by Killian's taking control of this and by the way his mouth trailed down from her lips along her jaw down to her neck. He was rough in a way he'd never been before, the desperation of all this raw energy inside both of them on full display, but Emma felt alive and whole again. She'd never believed she could feel so much as a Dark One, but here again she and Killian proved to be the exception. There wasn't coldness in her heart. There was no loathing or resentment or malice. There was only the two of them and the frazzled state of her mind that was trying to make sense of the sweet, delicious torture that came when Killian had made his way to her breasts, teasing, and licking and nipping in just the right way.

"Killian, you're killing me," Emma moaned as she writhed beneath him, her hands seeking something, anything to hold onto, but only settling for him. The skin on skin feel of this was too perfect to give up and the rumble of Killian's laughter both calmed her and excited her into more a tizzy.

"I assure you that's impossible, Swan, given the current state of things…" he said as he moved from her breasts to kiss lower and lower, punctuating each movement with more words. "But if I've done this right I'll take you just to the edge of reason all the same."

"Trust me, you're doing it right," Emma confessed quickly, the words flying out of her mouth as Killian nipped at her inner thigh. She jumped from the contact, a mix of heat and the chill of anticipation racing through her and then his mouth was where she'd wanted him most and all coherent thought was gone. For the first time since sacrificing herself to the Darkness there was nothing but light and her eyes closed as that indescribable feeling coursed through her and eventually shattered into an unbelievably powerful climax.

Breathing heavy and trying to ground herself again, Emma luxuriated in the lust that washed across her very being. She was satisfied slightly, but the hunger remained, and it only intensified when her eyes met Killian's again. He was even more on edge now, having loved giving her that kind of pleasure but now it was Emma's turn to take this over. She couldn't let Killian have all the fun in this. Not when she could drive him just as crazy too. She waited though, patiently allowing Killian to climb back over her, and then she murmured flirtatious words about her pirate being too perfect and she knew she had her opening. She'd thrown him slightly off kilter and then she leverage that, switching their positions and grinning as she looked down at his surprised face. He reached for her, but in an instant she stopped him, using some magic to tie him down to the bedframe and causing him to look frustrated, but only in the best way.

"You're playing a dangerous game, love," he warned her, but she could read him like a book and as much as he protested, he was anxiously awaiting her next move, especially when her fingers trailed down his chest and moved lower to circle his cock.

"You were the one who insisted on going… how did you say it again? 'Right to the edge," Emma replied, kissing his lips too lightly for his liking and then making a journey of her own before she hovered over his hard length. "Unless you don't think you can handle it, _Captain_."

His only response was a growling sound, and it was Emma's turn to laugh now before taking him in her mouth. Just as she'd expected Killian enjoyed every second of her kind of torture, but before she'd anticipated him getting free he'd found a way and flipped her back beneath him. This time he looked truly wild, manic in a way, but all of it directed at needing her and not hiding an ounce of the love he had in his heart for her. In one long thrust he filled her and the two of them cried out together, feeling how good it was and knowing this only happened with people who truly belonged together.

The pull between them was drawn so tight that it felt like forever and no time at all that they came together; Emma fell back into bliss and Killian followed her. It was amazing, a sensation somehow even sweeter and more fulfilling than the times before, probably because it provided such relief. Even in the immediate afterglow, as Emma's head rested against his chest and they both came down from the high, Emma felt calmed and centered. The protective bubble remained, the quiet stayed, and the only sound out here in this field in Camelot where the sounds of their heartbeats and a soft breeze outside. Somehow in the midst of chaos they'd found real peace, and Emma smiled at that before looking back up to Killian and finding him smiling too.

"I told you I had a good idea, didn't I?" She asked and Killian nodded, running his fingers against her spine in a light but tempting trail.

"Aye, Emma, you did. You were brilliant as per usual, and that's just one of the many things I love about you."

With those words, those magical little words that meant the world to Emma, the spark was reignited and the night continued on. And though there was a real fight ahead, a trial against darkness, and a hard road to cleansing both Emma and Killian from the Dark One's curse, the two of them managed because they had each other. Through all of it, Emma and Killian chose to face their trials hand in hand, and only with that, and a little true love, could darkness really be overcome.

…..

 _He said, "Let's get out of this town_

 _Drive out of the city_

 _Away from the crowds"_

 _I thought heaven can't help me now_

 _Nothing lasts forever_

 _But this is gonna take me down_

 _He's so tall, and handsome as hell_

 _He's so bad but he does it so well_

 _I can see the end as it begins, my one condition is_

 _Say you'll remember me_

 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams (ah ah)_

 _Wildest dreams (ah ah)_

 _I said no one has to know what we do_

 _His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room_

 _And his voice is a familiar sound, nothing lasts forever_

 _But this is getting good now_

 _He's so tall, and handsome as hell_

 _He's so bad but he does it so well_

 _And when we've had our very last kiss_

 _But my last request is_

 _Say you'll remember me_

 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams (ah ah) (ah ah)_

 _Wildest dreams (ah ah)_

 _You see me in hindsight_

 _Tangled up with you all night_

 _Burn it down_

 _Some day when you leave me_

 _I bet these memories follow you around_

 _You see me in hindsight_

 _Tangled up with you all night_

 _Burnin' it down (burnin' it down)_

 _Some day when you leave me_

 _I bet these memories follow you around (follow you around)_

 _Say you'll remember me_

 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend_

 _Say you'll remember me_

 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just (just pretend, just pretend) in your wildest dreams (ah ah)_

 _In your wildest dreams (ah ah)_

 _Even if it's just in your wildest dreams (ah ah)_

 _In your wildest dreams (ah ah)_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it! My first Dark Swan and Dark Hook fic EVER. It was hard getting here too, especially since my fluff loving heart really couldn't handle the darkness, but I am so happy that so many of my lovely readers have pushed for me to branch out in this. And to the reader who specifically requested this song, I hope that you have enjoyed and thanks so much for your patience. Anyway, hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend and see you next time!**_


	177. Say You Won't Let Go

_**A/N: CS oneshot prompted by a reader who asked for a story from Killian's POV to the song 'Say You Won't Let Go' by James Arthur. I was very happy to oblige (though I do have a part from Emma's POV as well), and also very happy to bring in the numerous 'police officer Killian' requests you guys have been throwing at me since I finished 'Steady' oh so long ago. Plus I really love this song, and it definitely deserves a place in the mixtape. Hopefully this little bit of fluff will make up for how long it took to write this, and in the meantime I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!**_

The trickle of insecurity that ran through Emma Swan's veins this Monday morning was something foreign to her. She had not felt this level of insecurity and doubt since she was a kid, and certainly not since joining up in the academy and getting on the force. The BPD had become a home for her, a family of people in her precinct who cared about her and who had her back, and despite everything in her past – despite the heart ache and the loss and the feeling like she'd never be enough – she'd survived it all and had turned into a pretty well adjusted person, and a damn good cop if she did say so herself.

The problem today wasn't about work though, at least not really. She'd done something this weekend, something she had been tempted to do for years, and it couldn't be undone now that she'd taken the leap. To put it bluntly, Emma was now terrified. Sleeping with Killian Jones might have been the central theme of every late night fantasy she'd had since first meeting him, but it was not supposed to be her life. He was her partner for God's sake, her best friend really, and though she'd often wondered if he hadn't looked at her with more than friendship in his eyes and more than a platonic kind of love in his expression, she never truly entertained the thought. How could she? She didn't have a romantic bone in her body, or so she'd been told by her ex, and the last thing she wanted was to hurt Killian. He meant everything to her, and honestly if she weren't so freaking scared that she'd ruined everything between them, she'd admit that that night… well it had been nothing short of spectacular.

Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined just how right it would feel to be with him. Had there always been that subtle taste of chemistry and connection? Absolutely. But it wasn't supposed to feel that big or as so all consuming as it proved to be. Emma had felt alive for the first time in forever when she was in his arms, like he'd infused the very essence of what it meant to be happy and whole and free when his lips met hers. And then he'd spent all night showing her half a dozen ways that he was a master in bed the likes of which even her dirties fantasies couldn't concoct.

Emma blushed – yes, hard-ass Detective Emma Swan blushed – just remembering some of those lustful and delicious details, and if this were a fairytale and she was the kind of person made for happily ever afters she'd want that raw passion and that feeling of love every day forever. Unfortunately that wasn't her path, and in the light of the next morning she'd realized that. It had broken something pure and hopeful inside of her as she looked at a still sleeping Killian and planned her escape, but she knew it had to be done. So before he woke up for the day and confronted her on their beautiful but fleeting night together, Emma gave him one last gentle kiss right above his heart and took off.

"Everything all right with you, Emma?" a voice asked, startling her from her thoughts in the women's locker room. She turned to find Belle, one of their civilian administrators looking at her with concern in her eyes. It wasn't too pronounced, no doubt because Emma was known for being flighty when it came to emotion, but the care and kindness of Emma's friend was evident nonetheless.

"It's fine," Emma said, knowing the words sounded hollow as she let them slip out. "I'm fine."

"I don't think you are, Emma," Belle said and Emma felt her throat tighten up with emotion as Belle came forward and took her hand. "Look, I don't know any particulars, but I know something happened with you and Killian."

"How?" Emma asked, her voice giving away the panic that was setting in at the thought of everyone finding out.

"He called me looking for you. He was panicked, Emma. Your phone was off. You weren't home. He didn't know how to find you and he really wanted to…"

"I drove to Ruby's," Emma admitted, essentially telling Belle that she'd known Killian would look but she hadn't wanted to be found and had gone all the way to New York for the rest of the weekend to avoid him. "I don't know what happened Belle. I was doing so well pretending I didn't want him and then… it just happened."

"Your feelings got the best of you," Belle said, and Emma nodded. "Is that really such a bad thing Emma?"

"Yes," Emma answered without any pause or hesitation.

"Why?" Belle asked, really not understanding.

"Because giving in only made me want more, and we can't have more. We just can't," Emma whispered. Belle looked like she was about to speak some more but Emma shook her head. "Look, Belle, I appreciate you trying to help, but I don't want to talk, okay? It's just too much right now."

"Okay," Belle said easily, pulling out a small notepad and a pen from her pocket that she always kept on hand for incident reports and messages. Emma looked at her curiously as she scribbled something out and hand it to Emma. "You said no talking, right?"

"Right," Emma said, exhaling a shaky laugh as Belle nodded and left the room. Emma then looked down at the paper finding her friend's final thoughts.

 _You aren't in this alone, Emma. Trust Killian to make it right. He'll never let you down._

Even if it felt crazy given all of her past experience, Emma felt the power of that statement, and deep down she did know that Killian was someone who she could trust. Honestly there was no one in the world she trusted more, but that was what scared her. What if he didn't feel the same depth of emotion and love and wanting that she did? Hell, what if he did?! They were partners, and she didn't want to give that partnership up but protocol was pretty clear with this: do not sleep with or get romantically involved with others in your precinct. Because of that it felt like Emma would be forced to lose him one way or another. Either they pretended this never happened, or they risk the jobs they'd both worked so hard for. For Emma that risk felt almost worth it, despite all she'd given up to get to this place in her career, but she never wanted Killian to have to choose. The last thing she'd want was for him to sacrifice for her. She couldn't ask that of him. It was just too much, and the thought of the resentment it could lead to down the line brought tears to Emma's eyes.

"Enough, Emma," she counseled herself out loud, knowing no one else was in the room. "No more crying. You just have to get through today and it'll be fine. It has to be fine."

She steadied herself with a few deep breaths and decided this was as good as it was going to get. She could do this. She could put on a brave face and pretend she wasn't reeling inside. She just had to stay strong. She just had to get through that first moment.

Moving from the locker room and back to her desk, Emma did her best to even out her breathing. If the limited attention she received from the others was any indication, she must be doing a better job at hiding how she felt than before, and she grounded herself in that small victory. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe this wasn't an impossible feat and she'd actually be able to get through this all right…

Emma's heart skipped a beat at the sound of someone coming through the front door of the precinct, and without even looking up she knew that it was him. Killian was here and all of that built up confidence and bullshit she'd been trying to tell herself went out the window. She felt so small in this moment, debating whether or not she should run again, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead she glanced up and saw Killian across the way. Their gazes met, and the intensity in his blue eyes was inescapable.

Emma didn't know what she expected to see there. Anger, remorse, maybe regret, but it wasn't this. He wasn't supposed to be looking at her with no attempt at hiding. He was so obvious, so unabashed in his caring about her, and the determination she saw in his eyes told Emma that despite her fears this wasn't over. It was so far from over, and she could hardly breathe from the flooding sense of hope that maybe Belle was right, and maybe, just maybe, they would find a way to make this work.

Instinctively, Emma knew that he was trying to make his way to her, but for some reason he didn't come directly. He was stopped by a few people greeting him good morning and then addressed their Captain, Robin Locksley. It was a brief exchange, more nonverbal than anything else, but the way the Captain looked at Killian gave Emma pause. Something was happening, and she didn't know what. Yet even if it nagged at the back of her mind, her attention was solely dedicated to trying to seem normal. She tried to focus back on her paperwork, but it was a lost cause and then he was there.

"Emma."

That was all he said, just her name, whispered more than anything, but it packed so much within one word. He always, _always_ called her Swan here at the station, and the intimacy of his not doing so told her that he wasn't going to tiptoe around what had happened. She glanced around at everyone else in the room, noticing they all turned away just as she'd looked at them and the sinking feeling hit her stomach. They knew. Everyone knew and this was a disaster. Things were going down hill so fast and she stiffened from the realization. Her eyes darted up to Killian and she tried, God how she tried, to seem unaffected, but it was the hardest thing in the world for her to do.

"Detective Jones," she said with a crisp tone that sounded less than normal. She expected him to be wounded at her response, and as soon as she'd done it she felt guilty, but when she stood up and met his eyes again, Killian only smiled. It was a small but genuine grin that settled in her heart, thawing out the ice that fear had brought forth.

"I think we know each other a little better than that, love," Killian murmured before he whispered low enough that only she would hear. "Certainly no one knows the real me as you do."

It was almost dizzying to have this be his reaction to everything. Emma had braced for so much. She'd anticipated that he might be angry, or sad even. Perhaps he'd have wanted to pretend nothing had happened at all, but this lightness he carried, even if it wasn't totally settled, was so comforting. He was hopeful in a way she craved being, and the longer he was in her presence the more she felt like maybe she could try. Then he asked her something aloud that surprised her all over again:

"Do you trust me, love?"

Emma nodded immediately despite herself, and that was all Killian needed to extend his hand to hers. She took it after only a second of hesitation, and followed him into the closest interrogation room, wondering what he could possibly have to say, but knowing, even as she tried to fight it, that it would be everything she needed and more. Somehow Killian would make the pain of the past few days go away, and though it seemed impossible, he would find a way.

…

It was strange to have the single best night of your life followed by thirty-six hours of anxiety and sheer panic, yet that was what Killian Jones had faced this weekend. Finally, after waiting what felt like a lifetime, he and Emma had taken that next step – they'd made the jump from partner to something more, and Killian had never been so happy. In his heart there had only ever been his Swan, and to have her at last in his arms and in his bed had been nothing short of magical. Then the next morning, even before he opened his eyes, he'd known she was gone. She'd run before they could talk this out, before he could say what he should have said the night before: he was in love with her, and he'd always love her no matter what.

The fact that Emma ran should have hurt him. He should have felt a stab in his heart of rejection or anger, but it never came. Instead he ached for her, and he worried himself into a state he wasn't proud of. He'd called damn near everyone he could think to, all of Emma's friends he knew, and only when he'd discovered that she was safely in New York with her friend Ruby could he sleep again. Then it became a waiting game, and in that time he planned how to make this work logistically. If he was ever going to convince Emma to give this a chance and to take a risk when her past had always taught her that they never paid off, he had to have everything settled.

He did everything he could to get there, and then he achieved the perfect solution but still hours remained before he'd see her again. He debated going back to her apartment last night, but he told himself not to rush. Emma was prone to scaring easy, especially in situations of the heart, and he couldn't risk upsetting her. Instead he remained patient, and then he saw her this morning and all that fear melted away. Whatever happened, Emma and him would be together, of that much he was sure, and knowing that made it impossible not to feel hopeful and happy despite the distress of this past weekend.

"So you wanted to talk?" Emma asked when he'd closed the interrogation door behind them. He turned to see she was all the way on the far side of the room, intentionally putting space between them despite his hope for closeness.

"Aye, love. I felt it important to let you know that I'm not letting you run this time, Swan. Not from me."

"I'm not running," Emma said, though her tone lacked its usual confidence and her eyes wouldn't meet his.

"Aren't you?" He asked before taking steps forward and ending up in her personal space. Blessedly, she didn't step away from him. "I get it, love. Friday night was a big change, and honestly I should have handled it better. I never should have let you fear that we're not in this together or on the same page. Because we are, Emma. I love you – I'm _in love_ with you. I have been since the first moment we met, and I know, despite your being scared, that you love me just the same."

The range of emotions that crossed Emma's beautiful face at his confession struck him to the core. The brilliant jade color of her eyes gave everything away, and while there was still trepidation and a tiny bit of fear, the doubt was gone. He could see that she believed him, and all he could do was wait and hope that this would be enough. Emma needed to jump, and to know that if she did, he would always catch her and always be right there to protect her no matter what came.

"Awfully presumptuous of you, don't you think?" Emma asked finally, and Killian barked out a laugh and took comfort in the small smile that appeared at her lips and then the step she took towards him, her hands coming to rest on his chest. "I mean it was just one night. Maybe it was only a one time thing..."

"Hardly, love. Having tasted happiness with you, there will be no settling for anything else. And what you call presumptuous I call being honest. See I don't want to wait anymore, Emma. I've been waiting for years to have this. Can you honestly tell me you haven't waited too?"

Emma shook her head as her eyes flicked down to his lips. She wet her own on instinct, but the sight had Killian biting back a groan. God she was temptation itself. No other woman the world over could hold a candle to Emma Swan, and she didn't even realize it. She set every standard, in beauty, in brilliance, in kindness and care, but she didn't understand just how special she truly was, and Killian wanted to spend his life trying to show her.

"But even if that's true," Emma said and then amended since she must have seen something in his face, "and it _is_ true, okay, I admit it; it doesn't change the rules, and I can't let you sacrifice for me. I know you, I know how you are, and I know you're probably ready to fall on your sword and give something up for this to happen and I can't let you do that. I can't -,"

Killian couldn't listen to any more of her protests, and the best way he could see to stop them was to pull Emma close and kiss her right there. It took no time at all for her to melt into the kiss too, and that easy acquiescence told him that despite her worries, Emma still had faith. That faith was a strong and lovely thing, and Killian intended to make good on it, explaining his plan when they came back up for air.

"I'm transferring, Swan. It's simple as that. The decision's been made and the paper work is in. I report to precinct ten tomorrow," Killian said. Meanwhile Emma's hold on his jacket tightened at the words and confusion crossed her face.

"Precinct ten? But aren't they…"

"Merging with us in two week's time? Aye, love. But while BPD policy is clear that there can be no inter-precinct dating, the rules get a bit more murky in the case of a merger. In such instances the final decision rests with -,"

"The Chief," Emma guessed and Killian nodded before bringing her hand up to kiss gently. 

"Aye, Swan. Luckily Locksley is an old softie at heart, and he's taken some pity on me."

"Just you?" Emma asked with a laugh as she smiled up at him and Killian nodded.

"Seems I am the 'lovesick puppy dog' in this scenario, love. You, meanwhile, were the picture of cool calm and collected. Chief said he only recently realized the feelings went both ways."

"Really?" Emma asked shocked and from the shrewd look in her eyes he knew she'd sniffed out his slight exaggeration.

"Well recent is a relative term…"

"Sure it is," Emma chuckled and then she took a step back and extended her hand much to Killian's surprise. "Well in that case, it was a pleasure partnering with you Detective Jones, even if you are just a _bit_ too charming and prone to far too much stake-out talk."

Killian looked at her hand only a moment before raising it to his lips and then pulling Emma back to him and into his arms once more. He felt her breath catch and her pulse quicken, but the look in her eyes was as trusting and ready as he could have ever hoped for, and that meant the world to him.

"The pleasure has been all mine, Detective Swan, and I look forward to our new partnership going forward."

"You make it sound like we're getting married," Emma joked and Killian shrugged slightly, not finding it funny when that was exactly his plan.

"Only a matter of time, love."

"Let's take this one step at a time," Emma placated. "I'll start – I love you, Killian, and I promise I'm not running. I'm not letting go of this, or of you."

"Good," Killian murmured as his thumb traced her lips. "Because I love you too, Emma. In far from a 'one time thing' kind of way."

The two of them sealed this happy moment with one last kiss, but it was interrupted by a series of beeps and then the sound of voices through the intercom.

"Finally!" Belle's voice said. "Took you two long enough."

"It's called a slow burn for a reason, Belle," one of their fellow officers who went by Tink replied and Killian himself had to bite back a grin at that.

"Oh god," Emma whispered as her and Killian's eyes darted towards the two way mirror and then a flip was switched from the other room and their little audience was revealed. There, crowded together, was half of the precinct including Chief Locksley who though he had his arms crossed looked highly amused.

"Hate to break this up, but there is actually patrolling to do today, Detectives, and there's a staff meeting in two minutes. Last day or not, can't be late Jones."

"Yes, Sir," Killian replied, continuing to hold Emma's hand as the Chief corralled the others out of the viewing area giving them one final moment. "Still with me, love?"

"Always," Emma responded.

And with that final promise, Emma and Killian set out on a new kind of adventure, one defined by their constant choice to hold onto each other close and to never let go of the love they'd found together.

…..

 _I met you in the dark, you lit me up_

 _You made me feel as though I was enough_

 _We danced the night away, we drank too much_

 _I held your hair back when_

 _You were throwing up_

 _Then you smiled over your shoulder_

 _For a minute, I was stone-cold sober_

 _I pulled you closer to my chest_

 _And you asked me to stay over_

 _I said, I already told ya_

 _I think that you should get some rest_

 _I knew I loved you then_

 _But you'd never know_

 _'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go_

 _I know I needed you_

 _But I never showed_

 _But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed_

 _I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head_

 _And I'll take the kids to school_

 _Wave them goodbye_

 _And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night_

 _When you looked over your shoulder_

 _For a minute, I forget that I'm older_

 _I wanna dance with you right now_

 _Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever_

 _And I swear that everyday you'll get better_

 _You make me feel this way somehow_

 _I'm so in love with you_

 _And I hope you know_

 _Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold_

 _We've come so far my dear_

 _Look how we've grown_

 _And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _I wanna live with you_

 _Even when we're ghosts_

 _'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most_

 _I'm gonna love you till_

 _My lungs give out_

 _I promise till death we part like in our vows_

 _So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows_

 _'Cause now it's just you and me till we're grey and old_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Oh, just say you won't let go_

 _ **Post Note: So there we have it. Another mixtape chapter in the books and I for one had a lot of fun with this one. I always enjoy a modern AU, and obviously I am a big fan of the whole expressing your feelings thing. How many 'I love you' moments have I written for CS in this series? It's gotta be like fifty at this point, right? Anyway thank you all so much for reading and I hope that you enjoyed and you have a lovely rest of your weekend!**_


	178. Play That Song

_**A/N: Multiple readers have asked for a sequel to my recent chapter, 'Surround Me' and I also have an older request for 'Play That Song' by Train so I am tying them together. If you didn't read the other chapter, no worries, this is some prime CS fluff where Emma is out with her friends on girls night but Killian (and the other friends' significant others) show up to crash it every time. Watching Emma dance the night away from the bar is a serious temptation, but the payoff is worth it.**_

No matter how many months passed, the feeling of joy at having Emma as his and belonging to her in turn never faded or diminished.

Since that fateful night almost a year ago, the one where Emma had come back from an evening not unlike this one and kissed him in the elevator, Killian was hooked. Truth be told he'd been yearning for Emma Swan for far longer than even she knew, but that night changed everything for them. Despite Emma's questioning after the fact about whether they should really do this, Killian had never doubted this was meant to be. There was something undeniable about the spark that came alive when he had his Swan by his side and in his life, and Killian was no fool. He would cherish the chance to have such a shining light in his life and never take it for granted.

"If you keep looking at Emma like that, she's going to know you're up to something," a voice said from beside Killian at the bar. It came from David Nolan, his best mate from college, who had also found love recently with one of Emma's dearest friends, Mary Margaret.

"Even if she does she'll never guess what it is exactly," Killian replied, taking a sip of his beer as a means of containing his smile.

As much as he hated to admit it, David was right in a way. Killian was being incredibly obvious, but so far Emma hadn't seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary. If anything she was wrapped up in the evening with her friends, laughing, dancing, and enjoying herself in a way that made Killian's heart soar. She looked young and carefree tonight, her smile infectious, and her eyes sparkling with nothing but good humor. Gone were the days of her cautiousness or the calculated cold aimed at keeping people at a distance. He'd pushed past those walls and laid claim to her heart, and nothing had ever been more wonderful in his whole life as being loved by Emma.

"How could she? It's not like you've told any of us what the actual plan is."

Killian swore he heard something a little like sadness in his friend's tone, but it melted away immediately as his girl approached him. Moving into David's arms easily, Mary Margaret smiled widely at him before making a comment on his regretful tone.

"Now David, I thought we agreed that it was romantic that Killian doesn't want to ruin the surprise."

"We did," David acquiesced, and though he feigned a deep and heavy sigh, Killian knew it was all a show. "I just hate to think he's put in all this work only to end up with a second-rate proposal."

"Come again, mate?" Killian responded at the same time Mary Margaret shushed David for being too loud with the mention of a proposal. They all looked over and found Emma was none the wiser as she continued playing darts with Ruby and Belle, and then Killian awaited explanation as to why his friend would think him incapable of asking for Emma's hand.

"No offense man. I'm sure whatever you have is great," David affirmed, "But I have a way with these things."

"A way with proposing to women?" Mary Margaret asked, sounding skeptical and causing Killian to bite back a laugh. Oh man, Nolan had really stepped in it this time. It would be fun watching him get out of this.

"No of course not – but I mean generally, I have a knack for romantic elements. I mean look at our first date," he offered to Mary Margaret, and after the shortest spell of chill she warmed up again, her eyes filling no doubt with the memories of that day.

"Hmm, you make a good point," Mary Margaret said.

Killian hadn't actually been on the date with the two of them, but he knew every detail of it. He was subjected to every bit of it as David was planning. A picnic in the park, a horse-drawn carriage ride, enough flowers to make a woodland creature jealous? Check, check and check. It was downright charming, but if Killian were honest it was also incredibly over the top. He shuddered to even think of that being his play with a woman like Emma, a woman who deserved the world, but who favored life's simple pleasures and a more reserved kind of beauty.

"And if I were proposing to you, I'd take him up on his expertise, love. But with Emma…" his words trailed off as he looked back across the way to see her just turning to glance at him. In that moment the same rush of yearning came that did each time she saw him and each time her expression gave away her love for him. It felt like a miracle each and every day that such a woman cold love him, but it was his real life. He was a lucky bastard.

"With Emma the person who knows best is Killian," Mary Margaret said with certainty. "And vice versa."

Killian raised a brow at that last comment, intrigued by it even if it was absolutely true. There was no one the world over who understood him like Emma did, but Mary Margaret's tone hinted at a plan that Emma had of her own and when the song changed over the speakers at the bar, and the low thrum of a familiar baseline came through Killian had an inkling of what that might be. Then he saw Emma's flirtatious smile and her crooked finger urging him towards her and the pieces clicked together. Seemed his love wanted a dance tonight, and what better song for them to share one with than the one he'd always consider theirs.

"Quite a coincidence that this particular melody should find us again, love," Killian said as he stepped to Emma, feeling the immediate relief and rush when she moved into his arms, the curved lines of her lithe body pressed against him in the most tantalizing way.

"Hardly," Emma said with a lilt of laughter in her voice. "Unless by 'coincidence' you mean bribing Graham to play it for us."

"Ah so you _did_ plan this then, Swan," Killian said, his voice growing rough as Emma turned, her back to his chest, and her body writhing to the music as he held her back against him and followed her lead.

"Mhmm. Didn't want to wait until we got back home to be so close to you, and I figured this was the best way."

Killian actually growled at her words, feeling the shiver move through her before he kissed her exposed neck. She was a torment – a tease and a temptress all in one, but what she said was relatable. The wait to have Emma in his arms always felt like torture, and though he was losing his mind a bit, and definitely waning in control as they swayed together, he wouldn't trade a second of it. Instead he'd channel this both into his plan to ask Emma for forever and in the hopefully celebratory moments thereafter when they made it back to their place.

When the song eventually came to an end, and a slow one replaced it, the two of them stayed just as close, though Emma turned back around to face him once more. In her eyes Killian saw everything she was feeling. The wanting, the love, the sureness that this was right and safe and thrilling all in one – it was all etched there in the green pools Killian always lost himself in and he knew she was likely seeing the same thing in his blue ones. He wished for the words to tell Emma all that she was to him without giving away what was to come, but then she kissed him, saying for both of them everything and anything he could ever want.

"I was wrong," Emma said when they came back up for air, their foreheads pressed together as Killian's hand cupped her cheek.

"About?" Killian asked, confused but amused all the same.

"The dance. It didn't help with the waiting. It just made it worse. Think we could get out of here?" Emma asked and Killian grinned.

"Aye, love. As you wish."

So with a few goodbyes and apologies for their leaving early, Emma and Killian headed from the bar back through the busy city streets and to their apartment once more. All the while Killian was filled with anticipation, knowing that though Emma had no idea, this night was about to hold a whole lot more than an evening in each others arms. She might have getting him to bed on the brain, and he'd see to it that she had everything her heart desired, but before that there was just one thing to see to – asking Emma for her hand and soliciting the chance to make her his wife and he her husband.

As they walked into the lobby of the building that he and Emma called home, Killian expected to feel something like nerves. This was a big moment – perhaps the biggest of his life so far – and it felt like every hope for happiness and for the life he wanted rested with an unknowing Emma. But having her hand in his, feeling the way she leaned against him, and seeing her satisfied smile as they came back home for the night, Killian couldn't engage with those worries. In her expression he already saw the answer he was seeking, for Emma loved him just as much as he loved her. Much as this might surprise her, it wouldn't scare her, not when the time of her running from this had all but faded.

"You've been quiet the whole way home," Emma murmured as they stepped up to the elevator on the right hand side. Killian was glad to see that the sign saying it was out of use for the evening was gone, and he breathed a sigh of release knowing that Gus, their always helpful doorman had gotten his text and played his part for this next step. "Something on your mind?"

"Everything is, love," Killian confessed and Emma looked poised to ask him about it when the bell dinged and the door opened, revealing his plan.

It took Emma a second to glance from him to the elevator, but when she did she gasped audibly. Her hand came to cover her mouth as her eyes scanned the interior of an otherwise ordinary space. Now it had been transformed, covered in Emma's favorite flowers and donning those twinkling white lights he knew she was so fond of.

"Killian, what did you do?"

Emma posed the question as he led her into the elevator car. She marveled at all of the work that he had done, but Killian knew the best effect would come as the doors closed. He waited what felt like a lifetime, but it was only a few beats of the heart and then they came together and Emma saw it, the specially adorning signs asking her a simple but all consuming question:

 _Emma, will you marry me?_

Her eyes watered with tears as she squeezed his hand, but she still looked shocked as he got down on one knee before her. Seeing her like this, and knowing that all of this emotion she was feeling stemmed from her love and the hope that their finding each other had brought into her life fueled his need to make this moment even more perfect. And the only way he could think to do that was to truly speak from the heart.

"I've thought of roughly one million ways to ask you for forever, Emma. I had a million ideas, but none of them were right until I thought back and considered what moment meant the most in all our time together. The night you kissed me on this elevator - the night you took a chance on me - changed my world forever. I can't thank you enough for doing that, love, for being brave enough for both of us. But I will spend a lifetime trying to show you just how much you mean to me. There will never be enough moments, never be enough time -,"

At that moment an unexpected interruption came in the form of the elevator bell. They'd arrived at their floor, and Killian had foolishly forgotten to pause the elevator with the key currently in the slot. He mumbled a brief 'bloody hell' under his breath, but then he heard Emma laughing and watched as she pressed the 'stop' button just in time to keep them enclosed in here a little longer.

"You were saying…? Emma prompted, her voice warbling from the happy tears that streamed down her cheeks.

"I was saying that forever hardly feels like enough when it comes to loving you, but I don't want to settle for anything less. So with that being said… Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

"Yes," she answered without any hesitation as she pulled him up from bended knee. "And though this is probably the sweetest thing you could have ever done, I would have said yes however you asked. If you asked a million ways, my answer would always stay the same."

"Thank God for that," Killian affirmed.

With that, Killian slid on the ring chosen especially for Emma onto her finger and then he pulled her to him, kissing her senseless and pouring in all that he felt and all that he wished for them to have together. Eventually that kiss grew to more and the two of them made their way from the scene of the proposal back home, cementing their love and enjoying the ecstasy only two truly tied souls could feel. But the best part of it all was that this was only the beginning. Their engagement bloomed into a wedding, their wedding grew into a marriage, and their marriage became a beautiful foundation for a life together filled with so many ups and so few real downs. And through every beat of that story, through every chapter of that life, there was always love and hope and light, making their love together a true tale of happily ever afters.

….

 _Play that song_

 _The one that makes me go all night long_

 _The one that makes me think of you_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _Hey, mister DJ when you gonna spin it_

 _My baby's favorite record she been waiting for a minute_

 _She invited all her friends and I'm buying all the rounds_

 _And they're all dolled up_

 _DJ please don't let me down_

 _When you gonna play that song, now_

 _When you gonna earn that pay_

 _When you gonna play that song and make my day_

 _She said, play that song_

 _The one that makes me go all night long_

 _The one that makes me think of you_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _Hey, play that song_

 _The one the makes me stay out till dawn_

 _The one that makes me go, ooh_

 _That's all you gotta do (hey, hey, hey, hey)_

 _Hey, Mr. Guitar_

 _When you gonna strum it_

 _My girl just heard this song and you should play it 'cause she loves it_

 _Can you get me off the hook, get them fingers picking now_

 _I'll throw some money in your cup_

 _Mister, please don't let me down_

 _When you gonna play that song, now_

 _Why you gotta hesitate_

 _When you gonna play that song and make my day_

 _She said, play that song_

 _The one that makes me go all night long_

 _The one that makes me think of you_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _Hey, play that song_

 _The one the makes me stay out till dawn_

 _The one that makes me go, ooh_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _Oh, wait till you see my baby move_

 _Move, move, wait till you see my baby move_

 _Move, move, oh, come on now_

 _Play that song_

 _The one that makes me go all night long_

 _The one that makes me think of me_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _Hey, play that song_

 _The one the makes her stay out till dawn_

 _The one that makes her go, ooh_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _That's all you gotta do_

 _ **Post-Note: You can always tell when I've gotten myself right in the feels based on my endings. If I manage to make some grand statements about happy endings and fairytale romance then I basically went on a fluff-binge, and that was definitely the case with this installment. Anyway, thanks to all of you who requested this follow-up, and thanks so much to everyone for reading. To the many of you still waiting on your requests, not to worry, I have a relatively open summer ahead of me that will hopefully afford me the chance to do lots and lots of writing and that will include more chapters of this mixtape. In the meantime I hope you are all doing well, I hope you have a lovely rest of your weekend, and I PRAY that the series finale coming our way will do us all justice. I haven't watched any of season 7, but I'm still excited to see what they come up with. And whether or not we all get our full CS fix, not to worry, I've got about a million more over the top stories to share that will include just that!**_


	179. Call My Own

_**A/N: This chapter is a very old prompt I have had on my to-write list for over a year, brought to you by the many many Ed Sheeran fans we seem to have in the fandom. 'Nancy Mulligan' is not the first Ed Sheeran song in the mixtape series, and it will hardly be the last, but this fic also came with an added request. It wanted Emma as a princess and Killian as a pirate in an EF AU where the two of them have to run away to get married since her parents don't approve. I have twisted that just a little bit, but what has resulted is just a ball of fluff that I think we could all use after saying our final farewell to the show yesterday. Hope you guys enjoy, hope that you are all doing well, and thanks so much for reading!**_

Captain Killian Jones of the Jolly Roger had never been one for patience. Since an early age he'd known it was a flaw in his personal design. His need to keep going, to keep moving, and to seek instant gratification was more often than not a burden. But never had his patience been tested like it was tonight as he waited with a lantern in the woods just beyond the castle walls.

Getting to this moment had been a long and winding road, one filled with hardship and loss that used to haunt Killian without reprieve. The deaths of his mother and of his elder brother Liam had prompted the worst kinds of pain, even worse than the enslavement he and Liam faced as children. But then a miracle stumbled along his path, a woman – nay, a princess – who with just a simple smile and a 'how do you do' turned his world completely upside down. Where once there had only been darkness now there was light again, and the heedless rebellion that had long stirred in Killian's soul was quieted by the love of a remarkable woman who he was waiting for now.

Princess Emma of Misthaven was a rare gem, a beauty who was incomparable and who was beloved the realm over, but there was more to Emma than mere looks. The wit she had, the sense of self, the unshakeable sense of right in wrong, and the headstrong stubbornness when she felt herself justified all tied together made one perfectly imperfect person who he couldn't help but adore. She was beyond comprehension and at their first meeting Killian had known just how ill suited they were for each other. He was bloody pirate for Gods' sake, and she… well she was goodness personified.

It was that goodness that had brought them together so many months ago, but Killian remembered that first meeting like it had only just happened. He could see Emma in his mind's eye, dressed down from the splendors of royal wear into something more modest and comfortable. She was out and about, having slipped away from the castle and her guards to help care for some children in this small town by the sea, and at first Killian had no idea who she was. To him she was simply the most gorgeous maiden he'd ever cast eyes on, and he'd felt compelled to seek her out even if he knew he shouldn't.

" _Excuse me, lass,"_ he'd begun, trying to catch up to his actions as he spoke aloud. Truth be told he had no plan, no words that he could say to her, and at first he thought to ask for directions or pretend to be lost, but he couldn't bring himself to lie, even if it was of small consequence. Instead he lapsed into silence, prompting a smile from this strange, beautiful creature.

" _I would excuse you,"_ she replied with a fair bit of sass, _"but I don't know what you've done that needs excusing."_

" _Right – sorry."_ Killian's bumbling about was the most mortifying experience, but then it prompted a laugh from his new companion and he couldn't seem to regret it.

" _Did you need something?"_ she asked, the light of her laughter still twinkling in her eyes and Killian moved forward, wanting to bask in the aura around her. At his movements her gaze shifted from something that was merely friendly and curious to another expression entirely. In her eyes he finally saw an interest that mirrored his own, and that interest seemed to return his instincts to him once more.

" _Just a name, love, so I might know what to call the most beautiful woman the realms over."_

The words hadn't in any way been contrived, for he felt them most acutely, but Killian waited a beat, feeling her breath catch and watching a shiver go through her before she shook her head and smiled again, another giggle falling from her lips. She covered her mouth, and Killian wished to take her hand to keep her from shielding her smile, but she did so on her own soon enough.

" _Do lines that usually work for you?"_ she queried, clearly believing him a flatterer instead of a man of any substance.

" _That wasn't a line,"_ Killian said somewhat defensively. _"You_ are _that beautiful."_

Now it was her turn to be a little off balance. _"Oh, well, uh thank you."_

" _So… your name?"_ he asked, stepping just a fraction of an inch closer but putting them in a distance to each other that was hardly proper.

" _You really don't know?"_ she asked and Killian shook his head.

" _Should I, love?"_ Killian prompted and she looked torn about telling him, glancing back to the children who were still playing about. Then Killian acted on instinct, reaching out to her and turning her cheek back to him. He felt the rush of touching her the first time, the flare of heat as his skin met hers, and he watched as a blush kissed her cheeks, but he pressed on. _"If you don't give me a name, you know I'll have to choose my own for you."_

" _And what would you choose?"_ she asked, her voice a bit breathless as the wind picked up slightly and moved a bit of her golden hair around in the breeze.

" _Swan,"_ he confessed, watching as her eyes grew wide with curiosity. _"They are the most beautiful of birds, both fierce and brilliant. They're also stubborn as I recall, and they've a will of their own that can't be denied."_

" _I'm not stubborn,"_ she protested and Killian grinned.

" _Aren't you? You won't even give me your name."_

" _It's Emma,"_ she replied.

" _Killian,"_ he'd offered in turn, taking her hand in his, and just as he was about to push for more the children had returned in full force, bringing with them more than exuberance but another revelation – for none of them referred to her as Emma, instead they all called her 'Princess' alerting Killian to the fact that he'd just begun to fall for not just any woman, but the most sought after one in the Enchanted Forest.

In the time since that meeting, however, Killian and Emma had found their way back to each other often. It started slowly and with set expectations. She was a princess, and he was a pirate. There was surely no way they could be together, but when Emma confessed that the feeling of love and that sensation that life could never be as sweet without them together was mutual, Killian began to hope for more. He was determined to be a better man that was more worthy of her, and the inspiration he held close in trying to pursue such a life came from Emma and her abundant love for all the people in the realm, good, bad, and in between.

A slow spike of remorse rose in Killian's gut at the thought of that love and how their running away together now would jeopardize her future interactions with the kingdom. Emma deserved the life she'd been born to, a life where someday she would rule as Queen and protect the people she'd been safeguarding all her life, but the sad fact was he couldn't give such a life to her. Her parents, kind and benevolent as stories and legend made them out to be, had been clear on this: their daughter was not to marry a pirate.

" _I just can't understand them,"_ Emma had said the night after he'd gone to seek their approval a few days ago, when she'd stolen away from the castle to meet him aboard his ship. There were tears in her eyes, and emotion holding like a vice to her voice that cut Killian down to his soul.

" _Can't you, love?"_ Killian asked, a bitter attempt at humor etched inside the words. _"I'm a pirate, a rogue, hardly the kind of man suited for a princess, never mind a princess as wonderful as you."_

" _Stop that,"_ Emma scolded as she looked into his eyes and her hands came to his chest. _"You know that's not true Killian. You're so much more than the pirate you imagine. You're the best man I've ever known. I wouldn't love you as I do if you were any less."_

" _And I will love you every day of my life, and every day there after, Emma. But sometimes, I suppose, love isn't enough."_

The words had tasted like acid on his tongue and the reality that not receiving a blessing from her parents would put a stop to this nearly killed him, but it was Emma who rallied and who put his fears mostly to rest. She pulled him to her for a kiss, one that was forceful and full of feeling, daring him to doubt what existed between them. Then when they pulled away from each other, their foreheads rested together and she spoke a simple truth he would cling to all the rest of his life.

" _Love will_ always _be enough, and a true love like ours always finds a way."_

That was what they were doing tonight – finding a way, a way to be together and to tie two hearts who loved so fully together as one. They were going to elope, to marry in secret and then reveal to her parents the truth. From there the Queen and King could make the decision to either accept Killian and Emma or to turn them away. Killian prayed every night for the former, for disownment from her parents would bring Emma a pain he would wish on no one, certainly not the woman he loved.

A rustling of branches not so far off drew Killian's mind from his wayward thoughts, and he awaited whatever approached, poised for the worst but hoping for the best. When he saw Emma standing there, he hardly knew what to say. She was so beautiful, so utterly breathtaking out here in the moonlight with just the glow of his lantern shining on her that he could barely speak. Underneath a cloak of blue he could see she was wearing white. It wasn't the kind of gown a princess wore on her wedding day, but it was beautiful, pure, and gave his bride to be an almost fairy-like look he'd remember forever.

"Emma," he said, her name a single utterance that brought her running forward. She threw herself into his arms, and he tossed the lantern with little care, knowing it was safe, but not truly having a care. All that mattered was holding her, and comforting whatever sadness she was feeling.

"Oh Killian… I thought I'd die from waiting. But we're really doing this. We're really going to be married," she said and Killian swallowed harshly as he pulled back to look at her, letting her come back softly to her feet.

"That we are, love. As soon as you tell me that this is what you want we'll go. I've everything ready, but I need you to tell me one last time."

"The only thing I'll ever truly need is you by my side," Emma murmured as her hand grazed his cheek, her fingertips brushing at the spot where beard met flesh as she tried her hand at a bit of teasing to lighten the mood. "You still love me, don't you, Captain?"

"More than anything the realms over. And you know I'd give you the whole world if I could, Emma, but in the life I can offer you, there are no palaces or castle. No crowns, and no kingdoms. There's just my ship, the sea, and a heart so full of love for you I can promise it will never fade away."

"It sounds perfect," she assured him with a whisper. "As long as I'm your wife and you're my husband, as long as we walk through life together, make a family together, and grow old together, as long as you keep your promise and love me every day, then that will be enough."

"You have my word, Emma. If those are your dreams, I will see to it that every last one of them comes true."

" _And we'll see to the rest,"_ a voice said from just beyond the tree line. Emma and Killian turned and discovered that despite their beliefs they were not alone, for there, standing before them were the King and Queen. "Won't we Charming?"

The question from Queen Snow came charged with emotion, her wide eyes glistening with tears as she held her husband's hand. Emma's father, meanwhile, was not so stricken with emotion, but his focus lingered on his daughter before turning to Killian. This time the look Killian received was very different from the last. There was still the feeling that Killian would never be good enough for Emma (a fact to which Killian would readily agree), but the harshness and disdain was gone. Instead it was replaced with understanding and a new sort of respect. It was a look that gave Killian hope, as he stood there with Emma still in his arms.

"Mom? Dad?" Emma asked, pulling back as she kept Killian's hand in hers. "If you came here to stop me -,"

"We didn't," her father promised. "We came to make things right."

"We should never have stood in the way of true love, Emma," her mother said thoughtfully, stepping forward to cross the space between them until her hand came to rest on Emma's arm. "And it's clear from your actions and your words that you two do love each other. You're old enough to know your own heart, and if you want him so much that you would run away to be married, he must be truly worthy man."

"He is," Emma said with a smile before looking back at Killian and whispering, "You are."

"Right then," Emma's father said briskly, stepping forward to shake Killian's hand. "Please accept our apologies, Captain. But also remember that if you hurt her there's not a place in any world you could go where I wouldn't find you."

"Dad!" Emma yelled at the same time that her mother scolded, "Charming!" but then Emma and Queen Snow laughed together.

"There's nothing to forgive, Your Highnesses. And believe me, if I were ever to cause any harm to Emma, I would not run. I'd willingly surrender to whatever punishment you deemed fit. It could be no worse than the pain I'd feel at having inflicted any suffering on my swan."

"Swan?" Queen Snow asked and Emma shook her head.

"A story for another time. Right now we have to go, we're late."

"Late?" the King asked. "But Emma, now that we've settled things surely you can come home. Killian will come too and we'll plan a wedding befitting a princess. There's no need to run anymore."

"You two can still plan the party of your dreams. If you want we'll even stand up in front of the whole kingdom and say our vows all over again," Emma said looking to Killian for agreement as he gave a nod, perfectly happy to do anything she wanted. "But I'm not waking up another morning not married to the man I love. I can't wait anymore. I won't."

"I see," her father said with an even tone as her mother looked shocked. Then he surprised them all with a response no one saw coming. "Well I can't say I've ever been on a pirate ship before, but there's a first time for everything as they say."

"You're kidding," Emma said with rush of air and then a giggle when she realized he wasn't. "You're serious?! You'll both come?"

Her parents agreed that they would, and Killian could feel the happiness Emma carried in her heart because of it. They made their way to the ship, and despite the slight awkwardness of introducing the few crew members he'd kept for the night to not only his bride to be but her royal parents, things went smoothly from there. The chapel was found, the ceremony presided over, and the love that was bound together grew only stronger as they promised to have and to hold each other all the days of their lives. Killian knew the rush and the thrill that could only come from the woman he cherished taking his name as hers, and he felt his heart open all the more at promising Emma eternity. It would never be enough, but it was a start, a start he was more than excited to undertake.

As the early morning light began to rise above the world, Killian and Emma stood at the side of the Jolly Roger, watching the sun make it's way through the heavens, bringing warmth and illumination as it did. Her parents had decided to retire to a cabin for this last short leg of the trip, but Killian suspected it was more to give them privacy than because of any real need for rest. He appreciated it too, for the only thing that could sate the need to claim his bride in this moment was holding her in his arms, watching the early morning sun cast golden hints through her hair and light up her jade colored eyes. In this moment Emma looked blissfully happy, and then she turned to him and smiled, taking his breath away.

"Promise me this really happened," she said, her hand coming to rest above his chest, right where his heart lay beating. "Promise me it's real, and that I won't wake up from some perfect dream any minute now."

Killian brought her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss before returning her smile. Then he ran his fingertips against her cheek, gazing in her eyes and seeing the next sixty-odd years they'd spend together. There was a beautiful life to be led, a life filled with far more joy than sorrow, with hopes and dreams, with love and faith, and he found himself also grappling with the worry that somehow this was all a grand illusion. Then he grounded himself in Emma, the realest thing he'd ever known, and he took comfort in the fact that he couldn't imagine such a treasure or such a blessing as her.

"This is real, my love. As real as real can be."

"Good," Emma replied before kissing him, teasing him with the taste of passion he knew lurked just beneath the surface. The kiss burned hotter, edging onto something that couldn't be excused, especially when her parents were just below decks, but at the last minute Emma pulled back, grinning mirthfully at him before supplying one last thought. "And don't worry – we can still run away together."

"Come again?" the confusion that must have been etched on his face made her laugh, soothing his disorientation as he awaited her reply.

"Not forever," Emma said with conviction. "Just for a little while. I think three weeks will be long enough for a decent honeymoon, don't you?"

"Aye, my swan. As you wish."

And with that agreement between them, Killian and Emma settled into the happily ever after they'd been fighting so hard for, finding it just as wonderful and magical as fairytales and happy stories made them out to be.

…..

 _I was twenty-four years old_

 _When I met the woman I would call my own_

 _Twenty-two grand kids now growing old_

 _In that house that your brother bought ya_

 _On the summer day when I proposed_

 _I made that wedding ring from dentist gold_

 _And I asked her father, but her daddy said, "No_

 _You can't marry my daughter"_

 _She and I went on the run_

 _Don't care about religion_

 _I'm gonna marry the woman I love_

 _Down by the Wexford border_

 _She was Nancy Mulligan_

 _And I was William Sheeran_

 _She took my name and then we were one_

 _Down by the Wexford border_

 _Well, met her at Guy's in the second world war_

 _And she was working on a soldier's ward_

 _Never had I seen such beauty before_

 _The moment that I saw her_

 _Nancy was my yellow rose_

 _And we got married wearing borrowed clothes_

 _We got eight children now growing old_

 _Five sons and three daughters_

 _She and I went on the run_

 _Don't care about religion_

 _I'm gonna marry the woman I love_

 _Down by the Wexford border_

 _She was Nancy Mulligan_

 _And I was William Sheeran_

 _She took my name and then we were one_

 _Down by the Wexford border_

 _From her snow white streak in her jet black hair_

 _Over sixty years I've been loving her_

 _Now we're sat by the fire in our old armchairs_

 _You know Nancy, I adore ya_

 _From a farm boy born near Belfast town_

 _I never worried about the king and crown_

 _'Cause I found my heart upon the southern ground_

 _There's no difference, I assure ya_

 _She and I went on the run_

 _Don't care about religion_

 _I'm gonna marry the woman I love_

 _Down by the Wexford border_

 _She was Nancy Mulligan_

 _And I was William Sheeran_

 _She took my name and then we were one_

 _Down by the Wexford border_

 _ **Post-Note: I always love a good EF AU, and writing this little oneshot was no different. It offered all the same chance for fluff and feel-good moments, and I hope that you guys all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Thank you to my reader who suggested this song and this story idea, and to all of you who have shared other ideas with me. More to come in the weeks ahead, and until then I hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend!**_


	180. Everything I Do

_**A/N: This chapter is based on a prompt I got a while back from a dear reader who wanted 'Everything I do (I do for you)' by Bryan Adams. The prompt came some time ago so I cannot remember if it had an accompanying scene suggestion, but in listening to the song again I thought this would be perfect for some future-ish CS fluff. I know I write these all the time, but with the series finale recently I have had a lot of messages requesting more domestic CS cuteness. Hopefully this story delivers (though full disclosure I did NOT watch the finale, so I may be writing things that couldn't have ever been cannon). Anyway, thanks for reading and let me know what you think!**_

"So let me get this straight. You called me here for what exactly?"

Emma's question was posed to a very irritated Granny who currently stood behind the counter at the diner with an expression of contempt. If looks could kill Leroy would be in serious trouble, but try as she might Emma couldn't understand how anything he'd actually done merited a call to the sheriff.

"I called you to drag his sorry butt out of here, that's what," Granny snarled as her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive way.

"Why?!" Leroy yelled, now fully disrupting every other diner in the place. "I simply pointed out the fact that for someone who dishes it out constantly you can't take any criticism."

"Oh that's rich coming from you," Granny retorted looking poised to pounce as Emma raised her hands between them.

"All right that's enough. Look, Granny, the diner is yours and you legally have a right to refuse service to anyone," Emma said, prompting Granny to grin smugly. "But I'm also guessing it won't be a lucrative turn of events if Leroy gets the rest of the band to stop coming here."

"That's right, sister. We run this town," Leroy said and Emma rolled her eyes.

"That's a stretch," Emma responded so everyone could hear her before she dipped her voice lower to chastise Leroy personally. "Especially since you were dumb enough to tell Granny how you actually feel about the lasagna."

"Hey, she asked," Leroy replied and Emma shook her head, wondering how this dispute possibly fell into her job description.

"What would it take to call this even, Granny?" Emma asked, trying her hardest not to look at her watch to see how much time she'd already wasted.

"Fifty bucks."

"Fifty bucks?!" Leroy exclaimed, completely affronted though Emma had seen the monetary demand coming from a mile away.

"Twenty," Emma countered and Granny considered before agreeing.

"Twenty and he apologizes publically."

"Deal," Emma said as Leroy looked liable to disagree. Now it was Emma's turn to level him with a look that bode of worse things ahead if he resisted and finally Leroy sighed, doling out the cash and making a show of standing on a stool and drawing everyone's attention.

"Granny, I'm sorry I said the town could save money on cement for the new storm shelter by using your lasagna. Will you _please_ forgive me?"

Granny stood there smiling like the cat that caught the canary as she counted out the bills he'd forked over, making sure that all was accounted for. Then she looked up through her glasses and chuckled at how ridiculous Leroy looked.

"Yeah. Now get your dirty feet off my stool."

"Looks like my work here is done," Emma said as she accepted a cocoa to go from Granny and headed for the door.

Breathing a sigh of relief as she made it out into the late spring afternoon, Emma finally let herself marvel at the strangeness of the moment. This was her life now at work – there was no more saving the town from curses or villainous foes or unknown big bads. In this prolonged time of peace, where the monsters were all safely tucked in the rearview mirror with no signs of every coming back again, the troubles of their tiny town were unremarkable and predictable. Emma was certain another such flare up of tempers would come about in the next week, but she was grateful that she no longer had to be the savior every five minutes. Being a working Mom with two little ones and a husband at home was more than enough to occupy her time.

Just the thought of home and of her family made Emma smile. She allowed herself to check her watch now that she was away from curious gazes, finding it was nearly time to return to Killian, Hope, and their youngest, little Liam. All she had to do was head to the station and drop off her radio and her gun and she'd be all set to head back home to another night filled with her daughter's imaginary friends, her son's adorable babblings, a lovely family dinner, a Disney movie, and some stories before bed. It would be exhausting, but Emma was also well-versed enough in this routine to know it would still be wonderful. Having her family safe and together was all she ever needed to find real and true happiness, and she could hardly wait to get back to them. But little did she know she'd be seeing them sooner than expected.

"Mommy!" a tiny voice she knew was Hope's cried out as Emma rounded the corner to the station.

Emma stopped short, finding the three people she was looking forward to seeing all here waiting for her instead of being at home where she assumed they would be. Hope sprinted from where she held Killian's hand to come hug her, moving so fast for a four year old it made Emma think they had a real athlete on their hands. The impact of her daughter's hug had Emma exhaling a breath but she laughed at Hope's enthusiasm before swinging her up in her arms and looking back at where Killian was holding their little boy on his hip.

"What are you guys doing here?" Emma asked, aiming the question at her husband who stepped up beside her and kissed her cheek. In the end though Hope interjected before Killian could offer explanation.

"We're surprising you, Mommy!"

"Well this is a surprise, and I love it," Emma said, nuzzling her face into Hope's light brown curls before kissing her daughter's temple. Hope giggled at the contact and shook her head.

"This isn't the surprise, silly. It's at home."

"Let me guess, this surprise was Daddy's idea, wasn't it?" Emma asked, sending Killian a look that said she was onto him. This was so like him, planning something to make her smile or brighten her day even though there was no apparent reason. Today wasn't an anniversary or a birthday – there was no calendar event specifying a need for some over the top gesture – but her pirate was notorious for gifting her with perfect stolen moments all the same.

"Mhmm," Hope said before clarifying. "But Liam and I helped."

"That you did, little love," Killian said to Hope as Emma let her back on the ground and took Liam in her arms as they walked into the station. "And I was very glad to have my first lieutenant assisting me today."

"Well why don't we go see whatever it is?" Emma asked as her son cooed happily in her arms before cuddling into her. God he was so sweet – and Emma highly suspected that where his sister would be wild and fierce-spirited, Liam would be a bit more reserved as he grew older. He was a quieter, far more mild-tempered baby, and he had a way of wrapping everyone around his tiny little finger. But first impressions were known to be deceiving, and Emma was certain that someday Liam would have all his father's charm and wit and propensity for adventure.

"Because tonight _we're_ taking the kids," Emma's father said, beaming as Hope made a run for him now, giving him just as much love as she'd given Emma minutes ago.

"You are?" Emma asked confused.

"They are, Swan," Killian whispered, assuring her that he'd put this whole plan in motion for a reason. "Just think, a whole night with you and I alone."

Emma shivered at the thought, her eyes stuck on Killian's as her mind raced with the possibility. She and Killian had grown accustomed to taking their moments where they could. As parents raising two kids under five it was hard to find time for passion, but they always managed to find a way. That being said, a whole night without little ones in ear shot made a whole multitude of scenarios possible, and Emma let her mind linger on some of the more delicious ideas before clearing her throat and trying to pull herself together in front of her parents.

"You're sure you don't mind?" Emma asked her mother who had come to take Liam with a giant grin on her face.

"Oh Emma, you know better than to ask that. Now you two go on, and we'll see you back here tomorrow morning."

With that last bit of reassurance, Emma slipped her hand into her husband's and the two of them walked back along the Storybrooke streets until they finally made it home. From the outside, there was nothing that looked amiss. Their house was just as picturesque and charming as it ever was, but Emma knew she was in for something special as Killian opened up the door for her. She moved inside their home and despite her knowing something was coming, she still gasped when she came into contact with the surprise that lay in store.

"Killian, you did all this?" Emma asked, looking at their living room, which was usually somewhat a mess with the kids' playthings. Now it was nothing but perfectly clean, making room for an assortment of unexpected flowers. It was a wild collection, with daisies and buttercups and blooms of purple and pink and blue Emma didn't recognize. It made the whole house smell of springtime, and Emma couldn't contain the smile as her hand came to Killian's chest, resting just above his heart.

"With a little help," Killian said happily. "But this is just the beginning, Swan. The real surprise is out back."

Emma didn't know what to think as they moved through the house. Each room was filled with a similar display. The banister upstairs had a string of white Christmas lights attached now, and every so often there were posters she could tell were from the kids. They had the tell tale squiggle of Hope's little hands, or the perfectly smudged finger paint mess that Liam was becoming famous for. Her youngest son did love his paints, and his Dad loved seeing him happy, no matter what kind of mess he made. But as they made it out the back door and onto the porch Emma couldn't believe what she was seeing. This – right here – was totally and completely unprecedented.

"Oh my gosh," Emma said shaking her head in disbelief and looking back and forth between Killian's handsome face and the sight before her. "It's like that field in Camelot, only…"

"Only this time there's no battle against eternal darkness, and no close calls or terrible choices to be made. There's only one choice – the comfort of sameness or a bit of adventure?" 

"Wait what?" Emma asked laughing as she tore her gaze from the garden full of pink roses that had to be magically enhanced somehow.

"For dinner, Swan. Tonight is about you so the decision is yours – do we stick with what we know and what we like, or do we take a little risk?"

Emma pretended to consider the option critically. She should, arguably, be looking for adventure. After all, who better to engage in such risk taking with than her husband and ever-faithful pirate? But Emma couldn't deny that she loved things that were familiar. Routine was a comfort to her in so many ways, because after a lifetime of never feeling settled and never feeling secure, she finally had that and so much more.

"Would you hate me if I played it safe?" Emma asked and Killian shook his head.

"We both know I could never hate you, love. Besides, I was hoping you'd say that."

"You were?"

"Well of course I was. Don't you remember the last time we tried being adventurous with food? I can't so much as think the word 'sushi' without a wave of dread washing over me."

Emma laughed at the reminder of a night not too long ago when everyone had been together – their whole big extended family gathering after too many weeks apart. Henry had suggested they do something different and he'd worked so hard to make everyone Japanese food that was loved the world over, but where Emma had worried that it was the kids who would hate the cuisine before them, it was Killian. He claimed he'd eaten all kinds of unsavory things in his day but he had never and would never eat an uncooked fish wrapped in seaweed. Instead he'd eaten rice and then when they were home he'd cooked up some fish for himself and insisted that this was as it should be before Emma finally convinced him to go to sleep and put it all behind him.

"How brave of you then to offer us a chance at something different," Emma joked.

"I like to think so," Killian said as he revealed the meal that was already made which included – unsurprisingly – grilled cheese. "I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a hero…"

"But if the leather jacket fits," Emma teased as she pulled him in by the collar of his jacket, watching his own easy-going amusement melt into something more passionate. God she loved this man, and she loved how much he loved her in return. There was never any denying the fact that they were in this together, and Emma knew her heart couldn't be safer with another person.

"Your words say you like my jacket, love, but your eyes are saying you'd rather see me without it."

"Maybe I would," Emma agreed, her fingertips trailing down his chest and over the shirt he wore underneath. "But you planned a special night for me, so for now the jacket stays. I can't go wasting your grand gestures – not when I know I can't ever return them."

"Never return them?" Killian asked as Emma's eyes darted downwards. Seconds later his hook came up to turn her face back up towards his and she saw in his expression an eager need to clear the air. "Emma, you have given me everything. Because of you, I have a life a man could never dream of having. You rescued me from darkness, brought me to hope, gave me a family, and loved me even at the moments when that love could not be earned."

"You did the same for me," Emma whispered as Killian smiled softly.

"Aye, perhaps in some ways. But it's different, love, as you well know. I was never supposed to have this. I was lost a lot longer than you were, and I was that way by choice, not merely circumstance. Now though, I am anything but lost and that's _your_ doing, Emma. I can't explain in words what that means to me, all I know is everything I do, I do for you, and doing things like this," he motioned at the scene around them. "It's just a small token of my love for you. A tiny attempt to show you all that you are to me."

Knowing that the happy tears in her eyes would pretty much make speech impossible, Emma decided to show her husband just how much his words, that he claimed couldn't be enough, meant to her. She pulled him down for a kiss, one that poured all of her feeling and love and gratitude for the man he was and the life they had together. It was steamy and heated, treading at the line between decency and the seduction that she wanted. It was everything they hadn't been able to have in Camelot because her life had been in shambles and everything was a mess. But that wasn't their life now. Now they were at that promised fairy tale ending, though they were lucky enough to know an end was nowhere in sight. Emma smiled as they pulled away from each other, believing in her heart she had years and years of such moments with Killian left. The thought of that filled her with immense joy and satisfaction.

"You know I'll always love you, right?" Emma asked as her hand came up to cup his cheek. "It's you and me, forever."

"Forever," Killian agreed before sealing that promise with another kiss that took her breath away.

And though Emma was eager to let the passion between her and Killian escalate, they decided it would be best to enjoy their magical moment together first. Out there among the roses, they watched the world around them shift from day to night. The sun slipped lower and lower in the sky, coloring the sky in vibrant shades before the stars came out to greet them. In all that time, they feeling nothing but peace and joy and love, but the best part of all of it was that they had each other. For no matter what happened – and no matter where this happily ever after may go next – their love would always be the most important thing, providing them and their family with everything they could ever want or need.

…..

 _Look into my eyes_

 _You will see_

 _What you mean to me_

 _Search your heart_

 _Search your soul_

 _And when you find me there, you'll search no more_

 _Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for_

 _You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for_

 _You know it's true_

 _Everything I do_

 _I do it for you_

 _Look into your heart_

 _You will find_

 _There's nothin' there to hide_

 _Take me as I am_

 _Take my life_

 _I would give it all, I would sacrifice_

 _Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for_

 _I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more_

 _You know it's true_

 _Everything I do_

 _I do it for you_

 _There's no love_

 _Like your love_

 _And no other_

 _Could give more love_

 _There's nowhere_

 _Unless you're there_

 _All the time_

 _All the way, yeah_

 _Look into your heart, baby_

 _Oh your can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for_

 _I can't help it there's nothin' I want more_

 _Yeah, I would fight for you_

 _I lie for you_

 _Walk the wire for you, yeah, I'd die for you_

 _You know it's true_

 _Everything I do_

 _Oh_

 _I do it for you_

 _Everything I do, darling_

 _And we'll see it through_

 _Oh we'll see it through_

 _Oh yeah_

 _Yeah_

 _Look into your heart_

 _You can't tell me it ain't worth dying for_

 _Oh yeah_

 _I'll be there, yeah_

 _I'll walk the wire for you_

 _I will die for you_

 _Oh yeah_

 _I would die for you_

 _I'm going all the way, all they way, yeah_

 _ **Post-Note: So there we have it – another fluffy oneshot in the books. I have absolutely done chapters like this before, but truth be told it soothes my soul to write such cuteness so I have no regrets at all. To my reader who suggested this song, I thank you so much! And to all of you still missing the show and mourning its end, I hope this fic has helped in some small way. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your weekend!**_


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